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1
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,840
That's a cool snake tattoo
on your back.
2
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:08,142
Thanks.
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:12,146
It's Anacoth, the demon
who eats human souls.
4
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,449
My friend Jeffrey has a dog
that eats his own poop.
5
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,352
He tries to lick our face,
but we don't let him.
6
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:20,454
Okay.
7
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,455
Who's that one?
8
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,425
That's the Goddess
of the Damned--
9
00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,327
she whose name cannot be spoken.
10
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,496
Why, is it hard to pronounce?
11
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:29,497
What?
12
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:32,100
We have a friend
at school like that.
13
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,101
He's from India.
14
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,436
We just call him Rusty.
15
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:36,237
No kidding.
16
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:37,938
Does it hurt to get tattoos?
17
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,673
Yeah, but it's
worth it, you know?
18
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,841
Sure.
19
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,345
Once I bit my tongue really hard
eating a frozen Milky Way,
20
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:47,548
but it was totally worth it.
21
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:50,684
Good morning.
22
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:51,885
Hey, Dad.
23
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,287
Hey.
24
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,755
Hi, I'm Alan, Jake's dad.
25
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,124
Isabella.
26
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:58,492
She's a friend
of Uncle Charlie's.
27
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,129
I would hope so.
28
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,397
Yeah, and she was
showing me her tattoos.
29
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,365
Oh, lucky you.
30
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,834
There was a time when
you had to pay a quarter
31
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,469
and go into a tent to see that.
32
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,639
Now, it's right
at your breakfast table.
33
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,074
Uh, go get dressed.
34
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:15,709
I want to see
the rest of her tattoos.
35
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:16,744
Go.
36
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:17,645
I have a quarter.
37
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,380
Jake.
38
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,682
( sighs )
All right.
39
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:22,983
Um...
40
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,718
Isabella, I hate
to be a fuddy-duddy,
41
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,087
but we try to keep
the house smoke-free.
42
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,422
I'm sorry.
43
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:34,061
Charlie didn't say anything when
I was smoking in bed last night.
44
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:37,030
Yeah, well, Charlie's lungs
aren't always
45
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,600
on the same page as his penis.
46
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:41,735
Morning, baby.
47
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,237
Hey.
48
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,545
( clears throat )
49
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,647
If you don't like it,
don't watch.
50
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:57,718
( moans )
51
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,853
I'm gonna go upstairs
and take a shower.
52
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:00,954
You want to join me?
53
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,056
Sure. Just let me get
some fluids in me,
54
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,426
so I got something
to work with.
55
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:06,827
Hurry.
56
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,762
Anacoth is hungry.
57
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:13,066
"Anacoth is hungry"?
58
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,536
She's referring to
her snake tattoo.
59
00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:16,604
Oh.
60
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,441
Her vagina's called Linda.
61
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,676
Pretty name.
62
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,246
Uh, listen, I don't want
to overstep my bounds.
63
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,315
This is your house
and you're free to bring into it
64
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,251
whoever or...
whatever you choose.
65
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,720
But I-I do think that
I have the right to protect Jake
66
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,022
from being exposed
to certain people.
67
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,525
Then you better take him
to a hotel for a couple days,
68
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,093
'cause that girl ain't leaving
till one of us is dead.
69
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,094
Come on, Charlie.
70
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,396
No, no, no, you come on.
71
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,465
You see a little body ink
and a cigarette
72
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,600
and you immediately condemn her,
but let me tell you something.
73
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,370
She's smart, she's got a great
sense of humor, and in bed,
74
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,239
she moves like
one of those paint shakers
75
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,374
at Sherwin Williams.
76
00:02:56,677 --> 00:03:01,048
Nevertheless... I would rather
she didn't hang around Jake.
77
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,850
Fine. I'll talk to her.
78
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:03,651
Thank you.
79
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:04,585
You're welcome.
80
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,887
Now, unless you
want to lather up my fanny,
81
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,424
I'm gonna go hop in the shower
with Anacoth and Linda.
82
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:13,794
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men... *
83
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:17,130
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men... *
84
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,800
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men *
85
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,935
* Ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh *
86
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:25,406
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men *
87
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:29,610
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men. *
88
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,846
* Men.
89
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,728
( screams )
90
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:52,065
Isabella, I, uh...
I didn't hear you come in.
91
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,634
You weren't meant to.
92
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:56,937
So...
93
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,640
You think I'm
a bad influence on your kid?
94
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:04,211
Uh, well, gee, I-I wouldn't
put it that way.
95
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,347
But, you know,
kids are, uh, impressionable
96
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:09,317
and the violent, psychosexual
imagery of your...
97
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:13,321
body art... um,
not-not to mention the smoking
98
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,222
aren't necessarily something
a young boy needs to...
99
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,358
Why are you taking my hair?
100
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:20,361
Just a little quirk of mine.
101
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,231
Uh-huh.
102
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:27,034
I used to collect stamps.
103
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,237
You know, people like you
have been persecuting
104
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,741
people like me
for thousands of years.
105
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,343
Hmm.
106
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,111
Well, that's a bit hard
to believe, seeing as
107
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:42,383
people like me have historically
been victims and food.
108
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:46,219
But, uh, just for clarity,
109
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,689
who exactly are
the people like you?
110
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,392
Those whose eyes are open
to a greater reality
111
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,327
than you could ever imagine.
112
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,429
I see.
113
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,432
And do they all collect hair?
114
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,869
Don't mock what
you don't understand.
115
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,170
I'm sorry.
116
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:08,376
I tend to resort to mocking
when I'm... totally creeped out.
117
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,344
I don't like you.
118
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:16,417
Yeah, well...
I'm rubber, you're glue...
119
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:20,688
something, something,
something you.
120
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:24,558
So be it.
121
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:30,831
So be it.
122
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:34,134
( wry chuckle )
123
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:37,405
So be it.
124
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,339
( scoffs )
125
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,243
Ow!
126
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,546
Ah, damn it.
127
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,551
Ow!
128
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,920
What the hell?
129
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:57,425
( Isabella chuckling
maliciously )
130
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,559
* Men.
131
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,293
ALAN:
I don't think so, Mom.
132
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:05,699
First of all, I'm just not
a big fan of costume parties.
133
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:09,470
Well... yeah, Jake likes
"The Wizard of Oz,"
134
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,539
but I just don't think
he'd enjoy hanging out
135
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,373
with a bunch of drunken
real estate agents
136
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,542
dressed like Judy Garland.
137
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:17,678
Okay, I'll get him.
138
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,414
Mom wants to ask you something.
139
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,417
Hi, Mom. No.
140
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,589
What happened to your face?
141
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:30,924
Nothing, I just thought I'd put
142
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:33,427
little blood-soaked pieces
of toilet paper on it.
143
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,597
What do you think?
144
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:37,765
It suits you.
145
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,099
Hmm.
146
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,601
What's the deal with your eye?
147
00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:42,235
I don't know.
I think I'm getting a sty.
148
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:43,203
Huh.
149
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:46,607
Might be a bit much
with the toilet paper.
150
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,676
I'd go with one or the other.
151
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,910
Thank you for your input.
152
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,879
No problem.
153
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:52,580
Where are you going?
154
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,482
Isabella's taking me to a party.
155
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,216
She said it's going to be
out of control.
156
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,487
Can you imagine what this girl
considers to be out of control?
157
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:00,788
Well, let's see.
158
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:04,658
Uh, biting the head off
a live chicken?
159
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,294
Vivisecting homeless people
and playing hacky-sack
160
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,763
with their still-beating hearts?
161
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,331
What the hell
are you talking about?
162
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:14,568
Do you have any idea
what Isabella's really into?
163
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:15,903
So she's a little kinky.
164
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:19,973
No, no, no, kinky is
a feather duster up your butt.
165
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,910
I think this woman tried
to put a curse on me.
166
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:23,711
Oh, please.
167
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,313
Who of us hasn't done that?
168
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,448
To know you is to curse you.
169
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,083
She took my hair.
170
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,919
She took your hair?
171
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:32,720
Yeah.
172
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,688
Yeah, and then she laughed like
173
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:39,192
( laughs maliciously )
174
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,028
Oh, well, that's different.
175
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,362
So you see my concern?
176
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:43,597
Yes, I do.
177
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:44,264
Good night.
178
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,766
Where are you going?
179
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,636
To pick up a bottle of wine
and a feather duster.
180
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:54,808
( electronica music playing )
181
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,811
You sure my Mercedes
is okay parked on the street?
182
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,147
I mean, I gave that crack whore
$10 to watch it,
183
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,383
but now I'm thinking,
who's watching the crack whore?
184
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:07,220
Don't worry about your car.
185
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:12,059
Okay.
186
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,865
So where are all the guys?
187
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:21,434
How come I'm the only weenie
in this pot of beans?
188
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,004
Because this party
is in your honor.
189
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,238
Really? What'd I do?
190
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,808
You're a vessel
of the masculine life force.
191
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,476
You picked up on that?
192
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:33,180
I tell people that all the time
and they just get snotty.
193
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,315
These women are all my sisters.
194
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:38,151
They all want to please you.
195
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:44,958
Well, gosh, that's swell.
196
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,694
Then you're okay with this?
197
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,761
It was my idea.
198
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,296
Let me tell you something,
Isabella,
199
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:53,400
you are just tops in my book.
200
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,202
Hey, this is very tasty.
201
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,236
What'd you say this was?
202
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,237
Secret elixir.
203
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,872
Secret elixir, huh?
204
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,307
Well, I'm usually
more of a bourbon guy,
205
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,809
but, push comes to shove,
206
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,578
I don't know what the hell's
in that, either.
207
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,815
Oh, boy.
208
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,250
Getting a little fuzzy
around the edges.
209
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,320
You got any crackers?
210
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,221
( snaps fingers twice )
211
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,255
He's ready.
212
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:18,258
You bet your gothic ass I am.
213
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,262
Whee!
214
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,132
Where are we going?
215
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,266
To the altar room.
216
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,500
Oh, boy!
217
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,202
What's the altar room?
218
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,838
It's where we anoint you.
219
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,205
Oh, boy!
220
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,374
I'm getting anointed!
221
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:35,275
Sounds nasty!
222
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:36,309
Anoint him.
223
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,078
ALL WOMEN:
Anoint him.
224
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:41,014
ALL WOMEN ( chanting ):
Anoint him. Anoint him.
Anoint him.
225
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,417
Anoint him. Anoint him.
* I can't stop this feeling
226
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:49,322
Anoint him. Anoint him.
* Deep inside of me
227
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:54,094
Anoint him. Anoint him.
* Girl, you just don't realize
228
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:57,330
Anoint him. Anoint him.
* What you do to me...
229
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,873
Morning.
230
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:06,674
Morning.
231
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,409
Great googly-mooglies!
232
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,278
What the hell
happened to you?
233
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,481
I'm not sure.
Looks like you got bit
on the face
234
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,416
by one of them ebola monkeys.
235
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:17,851
I don't think so, Berta.
236
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:21,254
I mean, you weren't exactly
eye candy going in, but...
237
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,891
...now, woof!
238
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,760
you could scare the flies
off a manure truck.
239
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,628
Thank you. Until
you said that,
240
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:30,263
I was feeling a
little self-conscious.
241
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,600
Aw, you know I'm razzing
you, don't you?
242
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,803
Yeah.
I mean, it's
really not that...
243
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,906
Oh, sweet Lord,
I'm gonna lose my Eggos!
244
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,309
Okay, if open mike night
in the burn ward is over,
245
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,912
I am just gonna make myself
some breakfast
246
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,081
and get out of here
before Charlie's new
girlfriend gets up.
247
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,583
Why, is she not
as compassionate as me?
248
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,053
No. She's just
a very creepy woman.
249
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,455
Well, putting aside
the whole pot-kettle thing,
250
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,890
creepy how?
251
00:10:56,957 --> 00:11:01,194
Well, she's got tattoos
all over her.
252
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,896
I've got tattoos.
253
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:07,968
And she's got this very dark,
hostile attitude.
254
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,502
Okay, you might actually
like her.
255
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,806
But I-I just don't want to have
anything to do with her.
256
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,307
ISABELLA:
Good morning.
257
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,978
Isabella. Hello.
258
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:21,381
That's a nasty looking eye
you've got there.
259
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,717
It's... just a stye.
260
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,387
Right?
261
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,290
What else would it be?
262
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,362
Hey, Vampira...
263
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,564
tell Count Humpula
to get out of bed
264
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,367
so I can change his sheets.
265
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,971
Charlie and I are spending
the entire day in bed.
266
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,539
We do not want
to be disturbed.
267
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:47,975
Do you understand?
268
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,746
Is it getting cold in here?
269
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:56,249
Do you understand?
270
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,450
Yep, you betcha.
271
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,220
Thank you.
272
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,955
Bye, Alan.
273
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,556
Take care of that eye.
274
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,625
I will. Thank you.
275
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,929
See what I mean about...
276
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,663
What are you doing?
277
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,532
Leaving.
Why?
278
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:15,335
Did you see that bitch?
279
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,939
You got to put
a whole lot of gone
280
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,808
between you
and a broad like that.
281
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,642
But-but wait a sec...
282
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,377
Good-bye and good luck.
283
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,982
* Men...
284
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:31,785
( gasps softly )
285
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:37,124
( sighs ):
Hmm...
286
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,394
Ho!
287
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,433
Ho!
288
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,837
That is some stye.
289
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:51,004
Oh, this is no stye.
290
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,040
This is something else.
Something evil.
291
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,042
Something ugly.
292
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,110
And you know what,
I'm starting to think
293
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,611
your girlfriend did this.
294
00:12:58,678 --> 00:12:59,779
Oh, come on.
295
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,049
Charlie, this isn't
just about me.
296
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,251
Have you taken a look
at yourself recently?
297
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,354
Oh, man.
298
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:11,458
It's gonna take more than a
little spray-on tan to fix that.
299
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,061
Do you realize how
long you've been
upstairs with her?
300
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,963
That depends.
On what?
301
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,764
On what day it is.
302
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,299
It's Sunday evening.
I haven't seen you
303
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,902
since last night when
you went to that party.
304
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,370
Oh, yeah, the party.
305
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,638
That was some great party.
306
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:26,606
What happened?
307
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,208
I have no idea.
308
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:31,244
Although I did wake up
with this.
309
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,215
Oh, my God!
310
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:38,285
Am I Jewish now?
311
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,690
Charlie, that's not
a Star of David,
it's a pentagram.
312
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:47,560
It's a Satanic symbol
used to call forth
demons from Hell.
313
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,264
Oh, that's not good.
314
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,066
You need to cut
Isabella loose.
315
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,068
I can't do that.
Why not?
316
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:58,005
Because together we shall spawn
a child named Giglamesh
317
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:02,175
and he shall bring forth
a new age of darkness.
318
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,211
You know what,
maybe it is time
319
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,379
to slow this relationship
down a little bit.
320
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:07,514
Slow it down?
321
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,017
You need to drive a
stake through its heart!
322
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,584
Is she still here?
323
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,020
Yeah.
324
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,587
Okay, here's the plan.
325
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,723
( loudly ):
Um, so, uh, we'll
submit to her will
326
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:19,459
and, uh, serve
the Lord Beelzebub
with all our hearts.
327
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,794
I'll grab Jake;
you start the car.
328
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,065
We'll drive somewhere safe,
I'm thinking the Vatican.
329
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,068
Don't be ridiculous.
330
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,269
What are you gonna do?
331
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,204
Well, you said it:
we have to cut her loose.
332
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,974
"We?" No, I didn't say "we."
I never said "we."
333
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:39,079
Hear us, O Horned One.
334
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:42,815
Wrap your dark wings
around this young soul
335
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:47,120
and grant him
all the rewards he desires.
336
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:52,892
Okay, um, hi, Mr. Horned One.
337
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:59,099
Here's the deal:
I'll trade you my soul for...
338
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,334
What do I get,
like, three wishes?
339
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,804
He's the Lord
of the Underworld,
not a genie.
340
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,073
Oh, okay.
341
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,075
Can I talk to a genie?
342
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:11,278
ALAN:
Jake, get over here!
343
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:14,414
Sorry, Dad, but you're
no longer my master.
344
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,349
The hell I'm not!
Go to your room!
345
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,186
You know, I'm old enough
to choose my own religion.
346
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,020
Go!
347
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,993
How dare you interfere?
348
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,227
Good question.
349
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:31,031
Alan, tell her...
how we dare.
350
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:34,267
Hey, you brought her here,
you get her out.
351
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,303
Are you trying to get rid of me?
352
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:39,272
Okay, well, no,
not-not-not you personally.
353
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:40,840
This is more of a legal issue.
354
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:45,645
Uh, it turns out Malibu is not
zoned for Satanic rituals.
355
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,748
Or any of the black
arts, really.
356
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,584
Right, Alan?
Uh, that's-that's
true. Uh...
357
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:52,919
You're fine in Hollywood.
358
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,454
Um...
359
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:58,591
Pretty much anywhere east
of the 405 freeway, actually.
360
00:15:58,658 --> 00:15:59,726
Shut up, Alan.
361
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,528
Just trying to help.
362
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:04,231
Did you really think that
you could just end this?
363
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,865
Uh, I was kinda hopin'.
364
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:09,169
Don't you realize
that our souls are
now bound together,
365
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:13,440
destined to writhe
ecstatically in blessed
hellfire for all eternity?
366
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:21,348
Boy, I know how to
pick 'em, don't I?
367
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:25,018
Charlie, do you
remember the vows you
took last night?
368
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:28,088
Vows?
You took vows?
What kind of vows?
369
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,524
If you'll shut up,
maybe we'll find out.
370
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,961
You vowed unending fealty to
the sisterhood of the coven.
371
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,664
You did that?
Why would you do that?
372
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,132
Will you please shut up.
373
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,602
I did that?
Why would I do that?
374
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,972
Did you think that all
those beautiful women
were pleasuring you
375
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,474
because of your
boyish charm?
376
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,709
Well, no, not-not-
not-not all of them.
377
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:54,781
I-I... I just figured
after the first three or four,
378
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,184
word-of-mouth
started to spread.
379
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,320
Wait, wait, uh,
380
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,755
how many women are we
talking about here?
381
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,624
I don't know, nine, ten...
382
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:08,061
13, the sacred number.
383
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:11,131
And a personal best for me.
384
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:15,235
How do you have sex
with 13 women at one time?
385
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:18,805
Well, apparently, you
have to take some vows.
386
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,640
Okay...
387
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,143
okay, listen, uh,
thank the girls for me,
388
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,678
tell 'em I had
a wonderful time, but...
389
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,780
I'm gonna have to pass
on the fealty stuff.
390
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:31,584
I have a previous commitment
to, you know, God.
391
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,587
It doesn't work
that way, Charlie.
392
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,524
If you break your vows,
you bring down upon yourself
393
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,426
the ancient curse of betrayal.
394
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,694
Well, that's just the
chance I'll have to take.
395
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:42,895
So be it.
396
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,532
( mocking ):
So be it.
397
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,770
Just kidding.
398
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,806
Um, simply out of curiosity,
399
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,442
what-what exactly
is this curse?
400
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:58,211
What-what should I be
on the lookout for?
401
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,913
Your crops will wither
in the field.
402
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,449
Yeah, okay.
403
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,818
Your cattle will
sicken and die.
404
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,387
Uh-huh.
405
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:14,327
Your manhood will
shrivel and become
a useless husk.
406
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,166
I gotta fold here, Alan.
407
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,401
Okay, you got me.
408
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:24,036
What do you say
we call the girls over
409
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,672
and start spawning
baby Giglamesh?
410
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,140
Charlie, don't do this!
411
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:31,978
Hey, when she's shriveling
your husk, then you get a vote.
412
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,847
Go ahead, call the coven.
413
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,350
( knocking on door )
414
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,818
( chuckles ):
Wow...
415
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:42,655
you gals could make a fortune
delivering pizzas.
416
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,627
Mom?
417
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,897
Boo, everybody.
418
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,835
Now, not a word, Charlie.
419
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:58,705
You are all coming with me
to my costume party,
420
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:01,674
and I'm not taking no
for an answer.
421
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:02,809
Evelyn?
422
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,346
Isabella.
423
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,217
You know each other?
424
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:14,454
In a manner of speaking.
425
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,957
What are you doing here?
426
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,859
Nothing.
427
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,429
These are my sons.
428
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,199
It was an accident.
429
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:29,101
I-I had...
I had no idea.
430
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,970
Please believe me.
431
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,239
Good-bye, Isabella.
432
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:34,607
Yes. Good-bye.
433
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:37,844
Bye, Charlie.
434
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,913
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold on, hold on.
435
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,217
What about the-the vows,
the curse and the shriveling?
436
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:47,387
I have no idea
what he's talking about.
437
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:56,663
What? She's in my Pilates class.
438
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,133
Okay.
I'll buy that.
439
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,303
Now, are you coming to my party,
440
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,572
or are you gonna give me
a hard time?
441
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,310
I'm coming to the party.
442
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,411
ALAN:
Me, too.
443
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,212
Jake! Come get your costume!
444
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,515
What's Mom gonna wear?
Shut up.
445
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,985
* Men...
446
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:25,392
Grandmommy doesn't
want to be late to
her costume party.
447
00:20:57,324 --> 00:21:01,761
Oh, come on, boys, sell it.
448
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:15,842
Very nice!
449
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:19,812
Now fly, my pets, fly!
450
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:23,950
I call shotgun.
451
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,586
( screaming laughter )
31337
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