Original subtitles

♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪

They all die alone?!

No, what about "The Notebook"?

They died together.

She doesn't even know who the fuck he is!

Don't ruin "The Notebook" for me!

Guys! Guys!

Yes, Willow?

Mike and Theo are ready for rehearsal.

I am.

Alright, I thought this was a part of it.

We're waiting for you.

Actually, it's the other way around.

We just witnessed a completely unnecessary

and overly long conversation about life and death.

Now, can we please move along?

Okay.

So, scene 14, kitchen interior at night.

Calvin is on the phone to his best friend Ross.

Mike will be playing Ross today.

Thank you.

I hope I get the part.

Ooh, I've got the first bit!

Okay.

Do you want to come over and watch a horror movie?

As long as you don't play another prank on me

because I still haven't recovered

from the last time you scared me.

I promise I'm not going to scare you again.

Is your housemate home?

Sorry to interrupt.

How much blood will there be in this film?

Can we just stick to the script for now?

Sorry, I, I just really like blood.

Cool.

I'm actually allergic to red food dye.

Oh, and cat saliva.

Jerry, can we log all of this?

Yeah. Uh, cat saliva, more blood.

That's not funny.

Stop, stop.

Stop. Stop.

Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it.

Let's run from the top.

Ethan, what's up?

Adam? Come dance.

What's going on?

I, I thought the laptop was stolen.

- Oh, the laptop?! - Oh! Laptop!

Can you help us, please?

Why would you think it was a good idea

to bring it to a bar?

I came straight from work.

What are you wearing?

I let him something of mine.

Are you two hooking up?

No. No, we're just dancing.

This isn't Oliver's fault.

This is my issue. - Okay. Okay.

You know, I've never done anything wrong.

Not even run a red light.

I got someone's post by accident once,

I hand delivered to 'em.

My Uber score is the highest of all my friends

and I donate to the WSPA,

which helps stray dogs in Thailand.

Yeah, and circus bears.

Okay, let's just take a minute so I can think.

What can I do?

You can gimme a minute to think.

Yeah, I can do that.

Do you think we can track it?

- Oh. - Oh, that's a great idea.

Like, "find my phone"?

"find my phone"!

We can do that!

Oh, hey, we can use my phone.

Oh, it's dead. Awe.

Alright, I know someone close by who can help us?

Who?

- Hey. - Hey, help me please.

Ah, hey, hey!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey, hey.

Who the fuck are these people?

You remember Ethan?

We went to his birthday once.

The, the Harry Potter themed one.

Wait!

You're related to us, true.

Half-brother. Yeah.

So you're the one

who got all the love and support from Dad.

Hey, really? Clay.

Oh, it's, it's true though.

Now's not the time.

Babe, why is everybody over at 2 AM?

Babe, let me handle this.

Why are you guys here at 2 AM?

I told you,

I need your help getting our work laptop back

before the morning.

Wow. Where is it?

Oh, if I could just grab a phone charger,

I'll be able to find out.

- iPhone? - Yeah.

- I've got a portable. - Thank you.

Hey, you're the,

you're the model from the magazine Adam did.

Well, I didn't do...

- I photographed. - Yes.

But I hardly modeled though.

Don't be modest.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Um, your place was nearby

and I wasn't sure what else to do.

That's all good.

Anything for Daddy's little boy.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Not so little anymore.

It's, it's because you have shoes on.

I'll just log into our work account

and it should tell me its current location.

Yes!

So, who...

Which one of you fuckin' clowns left it unattended at a bar?

Yeah, that was me.

Ethan asked me to mind it

and I got distracted.

One too many drinks.

Right, were you busy fuckin' someone in the toilets again?

What the...

Are you kidding?

That was like so long...

That's so uncalled for.

That was two, what?

Two year...

Can we just move on?

You're terrible, Adam.

I found it.

Does this address ring any bells?

- I know who it is. - Who?

Let me ask the questions, Adam.

Jesus. Sorry.

Who?

He's my ex, Duncan.

We saw him tonight.

What the fuck?!

Chill.

Uh, I don't know.

Can we like ask him to give it back

or threaten him with the police?

He won't do it.

He's not that type.

He'll give it back in 30 pieces

and I don't wanna deal with his head-fucking tonight.

All right.

I have an idea.

Is he on any dating apps?

That's him!

Looking for kick04.

Glass of champers on a boat with an unbuttoned shirt.

- Classic! - Classic.

Oh, I'll, I'll message and see if he wants to hook up.

Oh, send an eggplant into a water into a peach emoji.

Guys, do we really think this guy's gonna respond

to some random person asking for a hookup

in the middle of the night?

- Yes! - Okay.

Oh, oh oh. He's responded.

Oh, that was fast.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, I have an idea,

but everyone needs to follow my directions.

I'm going back to bed.

- Okay. Goodnight, babe. - Goodnight.

Night, babe. Love you.

- Bye. It's enough. - Love you.

Alright, sit down.

Okay, now, Adam,

you meet Duncan in his car

and once you get his keys,

throw them out the window.

And how am I supposed to do that?

You're a creative person.

You'll think of something.

What if he like goes off at me?

His favorite show is Gilmore Girls.

Honestly, that's all he cares about.

Just talk about the fan club.

You'll be fine.

And what will you guys be doing?

We're gonna stay in the car and hide, right?

It'll be chill.

It'll be so chill. Trust me.

I'm a fast runner.

I can grab the keys.

Is that his car?

That's him.

Alright, Adam, you're up.

Sure thing, Boss.

Duncan? - Yes.

You don't need a seatbelt.

Yeah, of course.

Right?

We're not going anywhere.

- You good? - Yeah, I'm, I'm great.

Yeah, I'm not too bad.

Um, I'm a little hungry.

I think it's because I didn't eat any dinner, but, um,

you know, well, I did have a cheese stick, so...

But I'd classify that more as a snack.

I mean, if you look at like, the periodic table of food,

like you've got your dairies,

you've got your meats,

you've got your fats,

carbohydrates, that kind of thing.

It's good for your skin, you know.

But you can't have too much.

It's like I had really bad diarrhea for a really long time

and I'm not even, um, what do they call it?

Um, uh Celiac?

No, that's not the one.

Lactose intolerant.

Lactose intolerant.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I would've forgotten about that if it wasn't for you.

Yeah, no, um...

So, that was my cheese stick story.

You know what else is scary about the cheese stick,

is if you eat too much at once,

it can kind of,

it can set off your gag reflex.

And I feel...

You know, it was like, it, like...

I really tried to get the whole thing down,

but then...

Ah, anyway, you don't need,

you don't wanna know that story.

It was, uh, it was very wet.

Once we get to the apartment,

how sure are we that we're gonna grab the bag

before he gets home?

Well, he'll have no car keys,

therefore we'll get there before him, right?

What about if he order's an Uber?

Wait, do we have Adam's keys?

Sorry. Sorry, excuse me, Oliver.

Ethan had a really important question.

Um, come again, Ethan?

Well, I'm sorry, Clay and Oliver,

but this is Adam's car

and I don't see the keys anywhere.

Fuck!

So if you mix the pasta in the pan with the sauce,

it, it, it, it binds it together.

And then if you add a bit of pasta water, just...

Like that.

Like it, it gives it a bit of extra life.

Are you finished?

Yes.

Yes.

What do you wanna do?

Um...

I'm a little nervous.

Is it all right if we just chat for a bit?

Yeah, we can for a bit.

Oh, I forgot.

I just need to message my, my friend,

and just let them know that I'm safe.

Um, you know how it is.

Thanks.

He's a real worrywart.

It's Adam.

What's it say?

The laptop is on the backseat.

Oh, it's even better now.

We don't have to break into his house.

There's only one problem.

What's that?

How are we gonna distract them

so we can grab it?

I think I have an idea.

Is it gonna work?

I don't know.

On a scale of one to 10, probably.

But it probably shouldn't be on a scale,

but you're gonna have to trust me.

Okay, so what do we do?

Just get out, get ready to run.

And from that episode on,

I just, I turned it off.

I just couldn't, I couldn't deal with it.

You know, I used to hate Mrs. Kim,

but now I love her.

I'm also Team Jesse.

No Team Dean!

My car!

Uh, lovely to meet you.

Adam, get in the car!

Just get in! Get in!

What the fuck are you doing?

We need to get the laptop!

We need the keys!

Come on, Adam! We need the keys!

Here take it.

Go! Drive! - Drive! Drive!

Oh shit! He's here.

He's here. He's here.

- Get in! - What the hell?

Can you please just like go forward?

Dude, come on! Let's go. Let's go!

What are you doing?

What are you doing here?!

- Go. Go. Go. - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Drive!

Go! Go! Go!

Fuck! Fuck!

And then I pulled that fuckin' handbrake.

What a night!

How good was that?

I really thought he was gonna get me.

You serious?

That dickhead?

Would never let him touch you.

Well, thanks everyone.

It was a, it was a good team effort.

Oh, big thanks to Clay as well.

Best big brother I could ever ask for.

Oh, half...

Nevermind.

Yeah. I second that.

You know that, that handbrake idea of yours?

It was, it was, it was all right.

It was pretty good.

It was pretty clever.

Do you really mean that?

Yeah, you're, you know...

You're, you're still you,

but you're, you're all right.

Thanks Glen.

It's fine.

You can call me,

call me Clay, please,

Clay.

I mean, it did put my car at risk of damage,

but yeah, it was fine.

Yeah, it was clever. Whatever.

You guys are the best.

I'm so glad I got you two.

Oh, that's such a lovely brotherly bonding moment.

All right, well let's just be grateful

that nothing bad happened and no one got hurt.

Oh shit.

What if he comes to look for me at my place?

I can stay over, just in case.

If that's okay?

Is that all right?

Happy to.

Do kind of need you guys to go though.

'Cause I need to do a little sleepy time.

I was gonna sleep right here on the couch.

You can stay.

- In fact, you're in my spot. - I mean,

you probably not,

you probably can't stay.

Yeah, I'll sleep right here.

- Should we head off? - Yeah.

Thanks, guys.

Cheers, you guys.

- Bye. - Bye.

Are you actually gonna sleep here?

With that arse you're gonna sleep here?

Yeah, right here.

Damn, you've been working out.

This is nice and soft.

I have been.

Wait, no, it actually should be nice and hard, mate.

No, it's like there's lots of padding.

Right.

For my earlobe.

Oh, so they know he is an angel?

No.

- He does though. - Yes.

Do you wanna watch this or ask lots of questions?

All right, I'm watching.

- Oh, uh, hi. - Hi.

Do you need something to sleep in?

This is what I sleep in.

Okay.

Good night. - Good night.

Do you ever get scared sleeping in a new place?

No. Why?

No reason.

Just asking.

Do you?

A little.

Are you scared now?

Not really.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Well, if you do,

just wake me up, okay?

Thanks.