Original subtitles

♪ What you want

♪ What you want

♪ I can give you what you want. ♪

I think we should do it.

Do what?

Don't you want to?

Yeah.

Course I want to.

Just not in a bunk bed

in my headmaster's house.

We could go to yours.

Forget I said anything.

Hey.

Look,

I'll sort something, all right?

I was 16.

It was the summer of GCSEs.

Her name was Katie Mathieson.

And we had a party at my mate Johnny Bushell's house.

And, yeah, me and her just stayed up all night talking

and playing records.

I always remember because she was,

massively obsessed with Suede and I hated them.

I don't know, in that moment,

they sounded OK.

You're round there all the time.

Revising. Thanks.

And the rest?

Why can't she just come here?

To this place?

Be real.

Oh, so, your gorja princess can't step foot in this dump,

but you're happy for your sister to live here?

Can you give me a break, Queenie?

Bit rich, seeing as we only actually left the site so you two could

be together.

And whose fault is that? Eh?

If they'd have actually accepted her,

we could have stayed.

They didn't.

I've got a job interview!

When is it? When is it?

Next week!

See I told you you'd get one. Didn't I say?

I applied for so many, I'd given up.

Right, well, I need to prepare. I'm gonna need a new outfit.

Mum, no.

No, no, we said no more buying clothes, remember?

I know, but I need to feel my best.

I'll sort your hair out, if you like?

And your brows. Honestly, Mum, it's not 1995.

Marina.

She could make more of herself.

Right, well I think I'll stick to the '90s. Thanks, love.

They're not gonna hire me if I turn up looking like Kim Kardashian,

are they? Can you imagine?

I can't believe it. Right, OK.

So, grey dress?

Yes. It's very nice. Very nice.

With, like, a jacket.

Oh, my God! Stop grinning like that!

You look like a freak.

Sex.

STDs, contraception.

Porn.

We can't educate young people about sex without addressing the attitudes

it fosters.

Bloody obsessed with the porn.

Quite right, Miss Farooqi.

Ms.

Mrs Paracha will be leading the RSE session for year 11 on PSHE day.

So, please do share any suggestions you may have with her.

Sports.

It's been a long time since we've won anything.

True dat.

What? It's been a tough year innit?

Fret not, Hassan, for "I have a cunning plan."

Let's revive the girls' rugby team.

Girls rugby? Again?

Why not?

Hijabi wearing sportswomen always make for great PR,

be it the lady boxers of Bradford or those little cricketing girls.

Vital, of course, that we're culturally sensitive in our

approach, which is why I've appointed Miss Farooqi as co-coach.

Oh, OK. We'll make a great team.

I didn't know you were having a staff briefing, Ken.

Everyone else knew, Martin.

Have a great day, everyone.

And remember, inspire, ignite.

Excite. Excite.

Yes.

That's for you.

Oh, oh, well.

Well, I were 19,

hmm.

It were my wedding night.

I were nervous.

I were very nervous.

And, and then,

well, you know.

You know.

Why you want to know this?

It's none of your bloody business!

Friday night?

Right, where? Tell me everything.

He says he wants to surprise me.

What about what you want?

He wants it to be special.

Oh, right.

You get special and I get a quickie in the music room?

I'm joking.

It don't bother you, does it?

Course not.

It was ages ago.

You are bothered.

It's not just you.

Right, he's been with loads of girls.

What if I'm rubbish?

No-one's rubbish at sex, OK? All right?

It's just chemistry between two people.

And you two have got it in spades.

Right, just be yourself.

Be confident.

OK.

All right, Boyband.

All right.

What are you two talking about?

Periods. Periods.

Nice.

We all here today to talk

about this business.

Anyone got any question?

No, I didn't think so.

Everyone gone shy.

No-one want to talk about it.

That's why I brought this box.

You all write down your question and put it in here.

Go.

Very good.

Thank you.

Not you.

Very good.

Great.

Anything?

OK.

Right.

It's a lucky dip, eh?

"I want to have sex with my boyfriend"

"but I worry I'm no good."

Beti.

Just forget it.

Save it for wedding night?

Next.

"Is it OK to watch porno?"

No. No, never.

It's not real anyway.

It's not.

Drink a glass of water and watch the Blue Peter instead.

It's not funny.

I got you somert.

Nothing fancy, just from market.

Wow.

Do you like it?

Yeah. Yeah, love it.

Thank you.

I thought they'd help you feel more confident.

Can't have you rocking up in raggedy old period pants?

Yeah, what am I?

You're a bad, bad boy.

Yes, I am.

Say it again.

Ready?

If it's Chunky Chicken, you're dead.

Johnny...

Do you not like it?

..it's perfect.

Johnny, you can't afford this.

Yeah, I can.

I don't know what half this stuff is.

Do you need any help with the menu?

Why would we need any help?

What's the "ke-vitch"?

Ceviche.

Raw seafood, marinaded in lemon juice.

Ugh. No thanks.

We do have a children's menu if madam would prefer to see that.

I'll just have a burger, thanks.

Will Sir be having the burger too?

I'll have the cervix.

Thank you.

One burger

and one ceviche.

Oh, my God.

This is literally the best burger ever.

How's yours?

Nice.

Babe. Have some of mine, it's huge.

No.

But you only ordered that to make a point.

Send it back if you don't like it.

It's fine.

Is everything all right, Sir?

Delicious.

Did you have to be so rude?

He were rude.

You didn't have to threaten to pour custard on his head.

Creme Anglaise, actually.

Come on.

Should be somewhere round here.

"Peony Lodge Hotel".

Is that it?

Hello.

Why would they call it a hotel if it ain't a hotel?

It doesn't matter.

We're here now.

That's all that counts.

Just be confident.

Don't you like it?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You're a bad, bad boy.

Eh?

Just something I saw on the internet, thought you'd like it.

Let's just do it. Yeah.

Maybe...

..give it a few minutes.

Forget it.

Look, I... I ain't a performing monkey.

Kayla, you're not going?

Kayla.

20.

Teacher training college.

Desperate to sample all that the adult world had to offer.

Set my sights on Colin.

Geography.

Quick fish supper then back to his to look at his ammonites.

There was more life in the battered cod.

Still, I was glad to have got it over and done with.

And I think in that moment, I proved I had real leadership qualities.

Brilliant.

You're gonna smash it.

Seriously.

Well...

Thanks for the tuition,

Mr Evershed.

Oi. You never replied to my texts.

You must've been busy.

Why do you have to cheapen everything?

Good weekend?

I'm still unpacking.

Just you on your own then, yeah?

Yes, I'm completely self-sufficient.

Imagine that.

Ah, there's my rugby dream team.

A quick pic for the school newsletter.

That's it, smile, look like you know each other.

Not you, love.

Say paneer.

Perfect.

That what you treated Kayla to the other night?

No wonder she's got a face like thunder.

What's she told you?

Nothing. In true Kayla style.

She won't talk to me.

It's what she does.

She goes into herself when something's bothering her.

Then one day, she emerges,

all fine again and you're none the wiser.

Fizza.

Don't forget to sign up for rugby trials.

Miss, do you really want me to be...

Yes. Well, you said you would, so you have to keep your promise.

Right. You're gonna regret it.

Proper loves herself, don't she?

Everyone loves Fizza.

Why aren't you sat with 'em?

You wouldn't understand.

Cos I'm such a bitch?

I heard Mum slagging me.

She didn't mean it.

Don't care.

I am a bitch.

Least you know I'll be honest.

Promise you won't laugh?

I'm sorry, it's just...

I know. What a joke.

He'll be feeling as bad as you are.

Nah, he's gone off me.

You're not the only person who feels insecure, Kayla.

You always do this.

It's like when we were little and you sulked for a week.

And it turned out you were sad cos you weren't blonde like me.

I were just as jealous of you, you know.

Why?

God knows.

Your hair's a state.

And you dress like you shop at a jumble sale.

Marina.

There you are.

I've just signed you up to the rugby trial.

I don't think so.

I think you'll find that "committing yourself to school projects" was

a condition of you avoiding permanent exclusion.

I'll do it with you.

Thank you very much.

Not bad, girls, good effort.

Where's your killer instinct?

20 press ups, now!

I was captain of the lacrosse team.

Hey. Nice costume.

Never seen a...

..a kangaroo with a shell before?

I'm the Mascot.

It's an armadillo.

Right.

That was quite a session from your mum last week.

I know she's raised you right.

Sometimes being a man is more complicated than mums understand.

But we live in a society that doesn't always respect women.

Young boys like you, you get mixed messages.

But we have to be respectful.

Sex is a wonderful thing.

Can I go?

But it has to be consensual.

And...

..safe.

Take them.

Oi.

Make an effort.

Wow. She's good.

Nice work, Marina.

If you need more,

or if there's anything else you want to talk about...

No.

Hey, there's a drop-in centre in town.

It's free.

Armadillo.

Go and talk to him.

Oh, my God! Kayla, you OK?

You OK?

Give her space, come on.

I'm all right now, if you wanna go.

Why'd I go?

Cos you don't wanna be with me.

You're the one that stormed off.

Cos you don't fancy me.

Why would you say that?

Cos of the other night?

It were the pressure,

all right, that... that's all.

It were your first time.

How do you think I felt?

You've been with loads of girls.

None of them mattered.

No.

This were different.

How could you think I don't like you?

I've left my family for you.

I moved into a damp house away from everyone I know.

I'm sorry.

You know, I...

..I'd live in a bin if it meant we could be together.

Don't doubt my love for you,

yeah?

You and me.

We're for keeps.

16,

muddy,

sweaty PE kit,

my oldest grey undies.

And it was

amazing.

Hey.

Hi.

I got the job.

Mum!

Yeah.

Oh, well done.

Thank you!

Mm.

What flavour are these?

You're very cock-a-hoop.

I'll just peel these potatoes.

Are you and Johnny having sex?

Yeah.

Are you being careful?

Yeah.

By which I mean condoms. Yes, Mum.

OK.

Cos it's not just getting pregnant you need to worry about,

it's the STDS.

I know.

And?

Is it all right?

Good.

Listen,

I was gonna tell you and Marina together but...

..I actually got offered a different job than the one I went for.

Higher grade, better pay.

That's amazing!

In their Head office.

In Glasgow.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

We're gonna have to leave Ackley.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media