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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:34,619 ♪ I know a guy who's tough but sweet 4 00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:39,207 He's so fine he can't be beat 5 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,628 He's got everything that I desire 6 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,049 Sets the summer sun on fire 7 00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,303 I want candy 8 00:00:54,389 --> 00:00:56,724 I want candy 9 00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:10,029 Go to see him when the sun goes down 10 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,409 Ain't no finer boy in town 11 00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:18,830 You're my guy You're what the doctor ordered 12 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:23,084 So sweet you make my mouth water 13 00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,630 I want candy 14 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:32,051 I want candy 15 00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:36,431 Candy on the beach there's nothin' better 16 00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:40,768 But I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater 17 00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:45,231 Someday soon I'll make you mine 18 00:01:47,025 --> 00:01:49,527 Then I'll have candy all the time 19 00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:53,865 I want candy 20 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:58,369 I want candy 21 00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:02,790 I want candy 22 00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:07,045 I want candy 23 00:02:09,047 --> 00:02:10,048 Hey 24 00:02:11,049 --> 00:02:12,050 Hey 25 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:14,259 Hey 26 00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,511 Hey 27 00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:19,807 Hey 28 00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:22,059 Car Radio: ♪Oh, yes it's ladies' night 29 00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:24,520 Cabbie: Talk to me, Kool, baby. Mmm! 30 00:02:24,604 --> 00:02:26,814 There ain't a party in New York City 31 00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,167 that can beat this right here, baby-- 32 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:30,735 Good music. I'm loose, I'm feelin' it. 33 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,029 Oh, yeah, this is the life, baby. 34 00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:34,822 This is definitely the life. 35 00:02:34,906 --> 00:02:35,782 Kevin: Crank it! 36 00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:37,032 Lucy: You missed St. Mark's. 37 00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,619 Don't worry, baby. I'm gonna swing around right here. 38 00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:42,205 Oh, look out. 39 00:02:42,288 --> 00:02:43,206 Stop honking. 40 00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,374 Tonight 41 00:02:44,457 --> 00:02:46,041 Everything's gonna be all right 42 00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:48,043 This is your night tonight 43 00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:50,045 Everything's gonna be all right 44 00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,047 This is your night tonight 45 00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:54,049 Everything's gonna be all right 46 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,010 This is your night tonight 47 00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:58,680 Gonna shake it on the loose and crank it up 48 00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:00,682 Gonna crank it in my mind 49 00:03:00,765 --> 00:03:02,433 Gonna crank it up, man 50 00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:03,518 Whoo! 51 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,269 Hey, man, you feel that vibe right there? 52 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,473 You see, now, that's what New Year's Eve is all about. 53 00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:09,065 You can feel the fun like electricity. 54 00:03:09,107 --> 00:03:10,107 Yeah! 55 00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:13,403 New Year's Eve is so great! 56 00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:15,070 It's like everyone just says, "Hey, man" 57 00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:17,073 Baby, is your friend gonna be all right back there? 58 00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:19,074 - He's fine. - Whoo! 59 00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:21,786 You're my friend because we, as a people, are one, 60 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:25,665 and we enjoy various kinds of food. 61 00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:27,417 You know what it is? His girlfriend 62 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,670 - Driver: Shut up, you fuckhead! - dumped him last night, 63 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,380 and I think he's a little bummed. 64 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,799 Yeah, I'm bummed out 'cause now you're draggin' me 65 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,801 to some stupid fuckin' New Year's Eve party, 66 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:37,802 and it's my birthday. 67 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,029 Well, happy birthday, Doctor. 68 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:40,054 How perfect is that? 69 00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:41,365 You didn't wanna celebrate your birthday. 70 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:42,390 Crank it up, would you? 71 00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:43,516 Crank it. 72 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,202 Because I would've thrown you a party, Kevin. 73 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,978 I don't want a party, Lucy. 74 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,062 - I mean, I wanna party. - There you go. 75 00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:51,064 I just don't want a party. 76 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,650 Oh, my God. You do this... 77 00:03:52,734 --> 00:03:53,651 every year! 78 00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:55,069 Every year, you do this. 79 00:03:55,111 --> 00:03:57,447 You ruin a perfectly good holiday 80 00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,907 with your stupid birthday bullshit. 81 00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:02,243 Well, I'm sorry that it's my birthday. 82 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,661 Believe me. 83 00:04:03,745 --> 00:04:06,247 I'm sorry that I was born at all. 84 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,040 Oh, fuck you. 85 00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:09,584 Fuck you. 86 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,627 Well, fuck both y'all. That's what I say. 87 00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:12,711 Fuckin' crank it. 88 00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:13,939 Will you pull over? Over here. 89 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:15,523 Right there. - All right, baby. Hold on. 90 00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:27,477 Crab dip. 91 00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:33,274 Am I insane? 92 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,276 Wh-What was I thinking? What? 93 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:39,280 Do you realize I got this recipe off a box of cream cheese. 94 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:42,492 Ugh! I don't even recognize myself anymore. 95 00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,076 You know, I hate parties. 96 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,497 I hate going to them, and I hate giving them. 97 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,290 At least when I'm going to them, 98 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,834 I'm not responsible for how horrible they are. 99 00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:54,085 And this one's gonna be the worst. 100 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:56,422 I can feel it. No one's coming. 101 00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:59,634 No... No... The losers will be here. 102 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:02,220 All the people I hate will be here. 103 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,638 All my ex-boyfriends 104 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,641 and their new, more-attractive girlfriends will be here. 105 00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:08,226 Throwing a party-- it's like-- 106 00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:11,020 it's like an invitation for abuse. 107 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,397 It's like the last desperate act of someone 108 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,399 who hasn't had a lasting relationship 109 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,567 since Junior High. 110 00:05:16,651 --> 00:05:19,821 You dated in Junior High? 111 00:05:20,905 --> 00:05:22,406 Why am I doing this? 112 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:25,116 Why am I subjecting myself to this? 113 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,411 God, I think I'm gonna be sick. 114 00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,500 Oh, hey, main man, 115 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,086 there's no smokin' in my cab, all right? 116 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:38,506 What are you talking about? You're smoking. 117 00:05:40,049 --> 00:05:42,134 I ain't smokin' what you smokin'. 118 00:05:44,971 --> 00:05:46,097 That's great. 119 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,138 Hey, main man, 120 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:48,139 you need to relax. 121 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,059 I been listening to you, buddy. 122 00:05:50,101 --> 00:05:51,101 You way too uptight. 123 00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:52,228 You gotta look around you. 124 00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:54,104 Everybody's having fun out here. 125 00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:55,648 They drinkin', they fightin', 126 00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:57,233 they pissin' on the streets. 127 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,652 It's New Year's Eve. They lovin' the ladies. 128 00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,237 A lady go out on New Year's Eve, 129 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,113 she ain't tryin' to carry a burden. 130 00:06:03,114 --> 00:06:05,115 She tryin' to let one go. 131 00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:06,784 Wanna know how I succeed? 132 00:06:06,868 --> 00:06:07,994 Not really, no. 133 00:06:08,077 --> 00:06:09,245 I'll tell you what I do. 134 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:13,123 See, first of all, bro, you gotta smile... 135 00:06:13,124 --> 00:06:14,125 like this here. 136 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,544 Do that a lot. Bitches love that kinda thing. 137 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:17,962 They love happiness, right? 138 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,547 Now, number two 139 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,132 Number two, this is very important. 140 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,675 Don't talk about death. 141 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,135 Everybody knows they're gonna die, baby. 142 00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:27,889 Nobody wanna hear it from you, you dig? 143 00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:30,308 And number three and this gonna get you 144 00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,144 some booty right here-- You listening? 145 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,896 You feel me? 146 00:06:34,979 --> 00:06:38,107 Music makes booty spin 'round, baby. 147 00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:41,652 The Commodores: ♪Lady 148 00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:43,070 Pretty lady 149 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:45,615 You brought me in from out the rain 150 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,368 Yeah - Baby 151 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:54,957 My life will never be the same 152 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:02,089 Once I was filled with desperation 153 00:07:02,173 --> 00:07:05,927 A solitary man 154 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,055 Here. 155 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,431 What's this? 156 00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:13,099 It's your present, fuckhead. Open it. 157 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,310 Mm! 158 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:19,023 Happy birthday! 159 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,942 There you go, heh heh heh! 160 00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:22,568 Smoke up! 161 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:27,073 Cabbie: All right, let's get this party rollin', baby! 162 00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:35,581 Just promise we won't go past Avenue "A." 163 00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:37,792 How many times I gotta tell you? 164 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:38,793 We're not going there. 165 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:41,127 I'm serious, Val. I knew a girl... 166 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,005 who got raped on "B." 167 00:07:43,089 --> 00:07:45,383 OK, OK. We're not going on "B," OK? 168 00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,677 It's so cool that we are hanging out 169 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,595 with the bands on New Year's Eve. 170 00:07:49,679 --> 00:07:52,098 - When are we meeting them? - I told you. After the party. 171 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,534 So, what about this party? Are there gonna be any guys there? 172 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:55,893 Does your cousin know any guys? 173 00:07:55,977 --> 00:07:58,103 She knows guys, but they're weird like her. 174 00:07:58,104 --> 00:07:59,146 - Hey! - That's OK. 175 00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:00,147 I like weird guys. 176 00:08:00,231 --> 00:08:02,107 I can get into that shit. 177 00:08:02,108 --> 00:08:03,776 So where's this party, Soho? 178 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:06,111 - Noho. - Noho? I thought you said Soho. 179 00:08:06,112 --> 00:08:07,154 No. I said Noho. 180 00:08:07,238 --> 00:08:08,781 That's not even a real place. 181 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,115 They just made that up. 182 00:08:10,116 --> 00:08:11,784 That's not even on the map or nothin'. 183 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,704 Well, excuse me, OK? Wherever it is, it's right up ahead. 184 00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:18,290 I love the East Village. It is so cool. 185 00:08:18,374 --> 00:08:20,543 I mean, all the cool people live here! 186 00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:21,961 - Wait a minute. - What? 187 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:23,546 I thought this was the place. 188 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:24,547 This shithole? 189 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:27,216 Yeah. This is the address she gave me. 190 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:29,427 - You're shittin' me. - No! 191 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,470 This is the address I wrote down. 192 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:32,554 So call her up. 193 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:33,931 I don't have her number. 194 00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:36,141 What the fuck you carrying around in that pocketbook? 195 00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:37,852 A fuckin' Encyclopedia Britannica? 196 00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,687 I got makeup and shit in there. 197 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,164 Makeup and shit? That's just great. 198 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,524 We're totally fucked on New Year's Eve 199 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,484 with a pocketbook full of makeup 200 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:48,279 - and this shithole building address. - What should we do? 201 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,922 There's nothing we can do. We're fucked. 202 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,116 Look, I'll call a and see if she's listed. 203 00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:54,118 All right? 204 00:08:58,122 --> 00:08:59,123 You got a dime? 205 00:08:59,165 --> 00:09:01,417 She better be listed, Val! 206 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:13,928 Oh, God. 207 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,141 Uhh! 208 00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:22,145 Kevin: Excuse me... 209 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,856 Whoa! Pardon me. 210 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,861 Lucy: Hi! Happy New Year! 211 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:29,862 Hey, baby. 212 00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:31,154 - Excuse me. - Hi! 213 00:09:31,155 --> 00:09:33,240 How's it hang? 214 00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:35,158 Sorry. 215 00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:37,160 You want a piece of me? Huh? 216 00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:39,162 Hey... knock it off. 217 00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:40,164 Ow! 218 00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:43,166 - Hi. - Hi. 219 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:44,877 - Ha ha ha! - Asshole. 220 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,802 - You used to go out with her? - It was a long time ago. 221 00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:54,804 How long ago? 222 00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:57,180 I--I don't know. Um... 223 00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,140 Well... 224 00:09:58,141 --> 00:10:00,059 Um, maybe six months ago. 225 00:10:00,101 --> 00:10:01,185 Six months? 226 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,020 You think that's a long time? 227 00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:05,022 Yeah, I do. I think six months 228 00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:07,148 is a considerable length of time. 229 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,400 Ugh! 230 00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,151 Do you believe this place? 231 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,196 Do you think six months is a long time 232 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,823 to have broken up with somebody? 233 00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,032 Oh, I guess... 234 00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:17,451 if it's a clean break. 235 00:10:17,535 --> 00:10:19,787 I brought you some matches. 236 00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:21,831 He used to go out with the slutty girl 237 00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,833 that's throwing this party tonight. 238 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:24,959 You went out with her? 239 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,461 Look, the only reason I said we would go 240 00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:30,464 is because she's afraid no one's gonna turn up. 241 00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:33,174 You spoke to her? 242 00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:36,262 Yes, when she invited me. 243 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:39,181 Do you think she's right about no one showing up? 244 00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,183 Well, I'm not going. 245 00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,145 Excuse me. 246 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:46,771 Right back. 247 00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:55,406 See how fun this is? This is so fun. 248 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,198 Whoo! 249 00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:59,493 I think that bartender likes you. 250 00:10:59,577 --> 00:11:02,454 Pfft! He doesn't like me. He likes you. 251 00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:05,165 Really? Do you think so? 252 00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:08,085 He is dreamy, sex-bomb cute. 253 00:11:12,173 --> 00:11:14,132 Yeah, he's adorable. 254 00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,301 Hey, man... 255 00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:17,595 Hey! Man! 256 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:18,888 You're a fox. 257 00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:21,139 Don't sell yourself short, sir. 258 00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:22,850 The night's young. 259 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,142 He's gotta be depressed 260 00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:25,644 working on New Year's Eve. 261 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,438 I'm gonna invite him to this party. 262 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,857 Everyone's depressed on New Year's Eve. 263 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:32,443 Only you are depressed on New Year's Eve. 264 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,862 I'm having a great time. See? 265 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,907 Drinking, fighting, loving the ladies? 266 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:39,116 What are you talking about? 267 00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:40,868 It's the obligation to enjoy yourself. 268 00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,453 That's what does it. Every year, 269 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,455 it's the same, desperate scrambling around 270 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:47,082 to surround yourself with as many people as possible, 271 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,926 go to some stupid party, pretend to be happy, 272 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,836 when really your girlfriend just left you, 273 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,838 and you have no career. 274 00:11:52,922 --> 00:11:55,633 Are you gonna be like this all night? 275 00:11:56,926 --> 00:11:57,926 Yeah. 276 00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:09,688 Taxi! 277 00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:12,858 Thank... 278 00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:13,942 you. 279 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,488 Hi. Uh... 280 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,698 No, thanks, anyway, heh. 281 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,202 Wait! Uh... 282 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,496 No. No. You go ahead. 283 00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,498 You go pick up somebody else. 284 00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:28,666 I'll be OK. 285 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,169 Uh, excuse me, baby girl... 286 00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:34,129 You seem to be experiencing a little indecision. 287 00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:35,589 I do? 288 00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:38,174 Yeah. You have this whole ambivalent vibe 289 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:41,177 radiating from your persona. Something is wrong, mama. 290 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,555 Oh, I ju--oh! 291 00:12:43,639 --> 00:12:45,516 - Hmm. - Oops. 292 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,934 I, uh... 293 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,727 I'm sorry. 294 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:51,187 It's just this guy, you know? 295 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,065 Always is, baby. 296 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:55,067 Yeah, I was at this party... 297 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,193 and I saw him there... 298 00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,197 and he was just... so... 299 00:13:01,407 --> 00:13:04,702 Heh, anyway, I- - I ended up going home with him, 300 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,121 and I've never done anything like that before, 301 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:08,706 so now I just want everything 302 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,207 to be perfect, you know? And... 303 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,501 I'm sorry. 304 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:16,630 I don't know why I'm telling you all this. 305 00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:18,632 Baby, come here for a second. 306 00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:21,218 Sweetheart, you know what you need to do? 307 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,471 You need to get in this cab. 308 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,307 I--I do? 309 00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:29,768 You've gotta say yes to your destiny. 310 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,312 - I do? - Yeah! 311 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,229 Life's happenin' right now, baby. 312 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,648 Look around you. Look around you. 313 00:13:34,732 --> 00:13:36,650 There go some life, and over there, too. 314 00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:39,193 Come on, mama... live! 315 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,239 Live tonight! Say yes. 316 00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:44,074 Come on. 317 00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:45,326 Uh... yes. 318 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:46,535 Say it loud. 319 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,745 Yes! Ha ha ha! 320 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,747 Come on, like you feel it. Come on, baby. 321 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,498 - Yes! - There you go. 322 00:13:51,582 --> 00:13:54,918 Get in this cab. Destiny awaits. 323 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,003 OK. 324 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,349 What time is it? 325 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,517 Almost 08:30. 326 00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,436 Oh. 327 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,530 "Caitlyn. Call me." 328 00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:29,495 Look, I've had it with him, 329 00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:31,497 and I'm not letting him push me into 330 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,206 this old girlfriend, party thing. 331 00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:34,500 Absolutely not. 332 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:37,210 They only broke up six months ago, right? 333 00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:39,546 Please, they're practically still going out. 334 00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:41,757 Too bad, in a way. 335 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,594 He was the most successful artist 336 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:46,804 I've dated this year, 337 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,764 and he was kind of nice, you know? 338 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,223 Please. He was too nice. 339 00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:52,935 Going out with him was, like, take your medicine. 340 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,270 Huh. And then... 341 00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:57,481 he takes me to his gallery today 342 00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:00,233 to see his new show. 343 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:01,735 And it sucks. 344 00:15:01,819 --> 00:15:03,153 Ah! It sucked? 345 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,030 Yes. I can't even tell you. 346 00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:07,240 You wouldn't even believe his work, OK? 347 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:11,120 It's like... big, abstract vaginas. 348 00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:12,704 - Or something. - Ugh. 349 00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:13,705 I hate abstract. 350 00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:16,333 But at least he has a gallery. 351 00:15:16,417 --> 00:15:17,751 I mean, that's something. 352 00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,210 Also... 353 00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:21,213 he's really bad in bed. 354 00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:24,215 He's bad in bed? 355 00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:25,300 He's the worst. 356 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:29,430 Oh. 357 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,223 OK, so, this is the address... 358 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,684 so you can check it out after work. 359 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,061 I think there's gonna be a lot of people there. 360 00:15:36,145 --> 00:15:37,855 I mean, I'm gonna be there. 361 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,606 Um with him. 362 00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:42,192 Oh. OK. 363 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,071 I mean, I don't mean I'm "with him" 364 00:15:46,155 --> 00:15:47,656 because we're just friends, 365 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,240 and we're not together... 366 00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,368 Shit! Do you think he even heard me? 367 00:15:51,452 --> 00:15:52,786 It's inevitable, you know? 368 00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,580 You let somebody move in with you, 369 00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,415 you make all these little compromises 370 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:59,250 to smooth things along, and the next thing you know, 371 00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:01,462 you're on some macrobiotic diet, 372 00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:03,964 you're listening to Joni Mitchell! 373 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,758 - And then you know what they say? - No. 374 00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:08,343 They tell you you've changed. 375 00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:10,554 "You're not the same person I fell in love with." 376 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,556 Well... yeah... 377 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,308 And then they dump you. 378 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,311 What do you expect, Kevin? 379 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:20,105 I mean, you go out with condescending, 380 00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:21,690 emasculating women. 381 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,484 You need to find somebody 382 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,360 that likes you the way you are. 383 00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:28,822 And who would possibly like me the way I am? 384 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,699 I have no idea. 385 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,117 Now, finish your drink 386 00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:34,995 because I wanna get that guy back over here. 387 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,500 Where are we gonna go, huh? 388 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:40,709 We don't know anybody. 389 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,210 Well, maybe we'll meet somebody. 390 00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:43,211 - What? - You know, 391 00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:44,505 maybe we'll meet some people. 392 00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:46,214 What are you, on another fuckin' planet? 393 00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:48,216 Val, you don't just meet people on the street. 394 00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:49,718 Even when you go to a party, 395 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,678 you don't meet people. You just stand around, 396 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:53,263 talking to the ones you already know. 397 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,265 Well, we're just gonna keep walking, all right? 398 00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:56,892 I'll know it if I see it. 399 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560 It's gotta be around here somewhere. 400 00:16:58,644 --> 00:17:00,187 I been there once before. 401 00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:01,980 - Call your mother. - My mother? 402 00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,232 Yeah, she's got your cousin's number, don't she? 403 00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:05,526 I can't call her. 404 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,945 She thinks I'm sleeping at your house tonight. 405 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,155 Listen to me. We are in deep shit here. 406 00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:12,157 We either call your mother for the number, 407 00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:14,326 or we get back on a train to Ronkonkoma. 408 00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,245 You are so uncool. 409 00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:21,041 You just stay the fuck away from "B"! 410 00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:24,545 OK, so... 411 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,172 do you wanna stop and get a drink? 412 00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:28,549 I don't know. Do you? 413 00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,342 Yes, yes! I do. It's early. 414 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,260 I hate getting to a party 415 00:17:32,261 --> 00:17:33,762 before everybody else, so... 416 00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,263 Great. OK... Ha ha... 417 00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:37,349 We can get a drink. I mean, if you want to. 418 00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,410 I don't wanna force you to drink against your will. 419 00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,979 Do you wanna stop or not? 420 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,981 Sure. If you do. 421 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,567 Look, Jack, we don't have to do this. 422 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:48,569 I thought you said you wanted a drink! 423 00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:50,278 No. I mean about going to the party. 424 00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:51,697 You don't wanna go to the party? 425 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,907 No... Look, it's just-- it's New Year's Eve. 426 00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:55,909 You don't have to spend it with me. 427 00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:57,285 I mean, just because of-- 428 00:17:57,286 --> 00:17:58,370 Can I just say something? 429 00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,288 I'm sensing a real reluctance on your part 430 00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:02,049 to tell me what you would like to do tonight. 431 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,000 - Really? - Really. 432 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,001 And I think it's natural 433 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,604 if you feel a little bit awkward here, 434 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,389 you know, considering, but there's no reason 435 00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,102 why we can't just go to the party and have a good time tonight, OK? 436 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,800 - OK. - OK. Now... 437 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,011 do you want to go to the party? 438 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,387 - Heh, sure. - All right. 439 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:16,805 If you want to. 440 00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:17,888 Arrgh! 441 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:20,976 Let's get a drink. 442 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,478 OK. 443 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:26,898 Nobody's coming. 444 00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:29,234 That's it. I have no friends, 445 00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:31,069 and everybody hates me. 446 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:32,654 It's only 09:00. 447 00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:34,114 What, are they all 448 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,283 just walking the streets out there? 449 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,702 Just walking the streets like zombies 450 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,871 because it's too uncool to be prompt? 451 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,080 You think there's gonna be 452 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,790 any interesting guys here tonight? 453 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,294 - Interesting guys? - Yeah... 454 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,463 'Cause I think I'm finally over Lenny. 455 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,506 Well, congratulations, Hillary. 456 00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:53,257 I'm happy to hear it. 457 00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:55,135 And what better night to start over 458 00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:56,553 than New Year's Eve, right? 459 00:18:56,637 --> 00:18:58,180 That is unless you're right, 460 00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,431 and nobody shows up. 461 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:02,476 Well, if they do, you have my word... 462 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:05,270 any interesting guy walks through that door, 463 00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:06,980 he's yours. 464 00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:08,272 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 465 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,775 You have first pick. 466 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,568 I'll usher them right over to you. 467 00:19:11,652 --> 00:19:13,362 OK, but not in an obvious way. 468 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,197 I don't wanna look desperate. 469 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,281 Desperate? You could stand there naked 470 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,283 with a mattress strapped to your back 471 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,995 and still look like a vestal virgin. 472 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:23,955 Do you think that would work? 473 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,251 Where do they get these people? 474 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,962 You know? 475 00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:38,011 Hey, Luce... 476 00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:42,599 I can't believe how drunk I am. 477 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:45,018 You're hiding it well. 478 00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:48,063 You're right about New Year's Eve. 479 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,648 It sucks. 480 00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,066 That bartender 481 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:54,236 doesn't even know I'm alive. 482 00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:57,406 He has ceased refilling the peanut bowl. 483 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,491 Hey! 484 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,994 Can I get some penis over here? 485 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,795 What were you two doing back there? 486 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:12,796 - Nothing. - Nothing? 487 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,214 Do you have a light? 488 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,799 You were gone almost twenty minutes. 489 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,801 - No, I mean a match. - Eric, will you relax? 490 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,302 Look, I've been sitting here waiting all this time. 491 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:21,596 I deserve an explanation. 492 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,305 - Thank you. - Will you get a grip? 493 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,766 Look, I got a grip. 494 00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:26,935 Could I have an explanation? 495 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,361 I'm really bad at this. 496 00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:38,363 Really? I had you figured 497 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:43,118 for a--for a hardened professional. 498 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:46,037 Uh, you wanna break? 499 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:49,416 Uh... look, it's just a game. 500 00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,334 It's no big deal. Relax. 501 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:52,335 - OK. - OK. 502 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,087 All right. Here you go. 503 00:20:54,171 --> 00:20:55,171 Thanks. 504 00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:57,841 - Your drink! - What? 505 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,801 Aah! 506 00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:01,219 Oh, my God! 507 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:04,222 Ohh! Ohh! 508 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,308 God... excuse me! 509 00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,726 Oh, ha ha! Sorry. 510 00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:10,020 I got your, uh, drink. 511 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,567 Oh, my God! Val! 512 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:16,568 Val, this is it. This is B. 513 00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:17,569 We're on B. 514 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:19,571 Oh, come on. We're almost there. 515 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,239 I'm pretty sure I remember this block. 516 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,283 No! No, I'm not taking one more step. 517 00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,285 What's the matter with you? 518 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,537 Val, you're crossing onto B, OK? 519 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,247 I'm not moving from this corner. 520 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,832 So freeze your fucking ass off! 521 00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:32,250 I'm going to the party. 522 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,835 Something terrible is gonna happen 523 00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:35,253 if you cross that street! 524 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,797 I feel it in my gut! 525 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,256 Will you get a hold of yourself! 526 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,133 Nothing terrible's gonna happen to us. 527 00:21:40,217 --> 00:21:41,635 We're going to a party is all. 528 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:45,806 Val! Val! Please listen to me! 529 00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:48,266 We are so lost! We are so fucked! 530 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:50,268 Just please, call your mother. 531 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,895 Come on. 532 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,693 OK. 533 00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:00,278 Where are you going? 534 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,738 I gotta find a phone, don't I? 535 00:22:01,822 --> 00:22:04,074 Well, there are phones on A, you know. 536 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,289 What's up? 537 00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:12,290 Man. 538 00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:13,834 - Mmm-mmm. - Mmm-mmm. 539 00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:17,045 We are so incredibly fucked. 540 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:19,756 Val? 541 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,300 Val! 542 00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:37,524 Ohh! 543 00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:38,900 Oh... 544 00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:41,110 Oh... 545 00:22:42,445 --> 00:22:43,488 Oh, God. 546 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,533 Ohh... 547 00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:50,912 Oh... 548 00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:58,336 Ohh! 549 00:23:03,341 --> 00:23:05,260 Oh. Oh... 550 00:23:05,343 --> 00:23:07,053 That's just great. 551 00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:08,054 That's perfect. 552 00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:09,055 Yeah! 553 00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:10,390 Ohh, look at that. 554 00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:11,391 Fantastic. 555 00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:13,350 Ah, it's Ellie. 556 00:23:13,351 --> 00:23:14,519 Yeah. That's Ellie. 557 00:23:14,603 --> 00:23:15,687 "Mad Woman." 558 00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:16,688 Ha ha! 559 00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:17,856 She knew I'd be here, 560 00:23:17,939 --> 00:23:19,691 so she deliberately put these up. 561 00:23:19,774 --> 00:23:21,419 Well, you know what? It's not gonna work, Ellie. 562 00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:22,485 It's not gonna work 563 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:24,362 'cause I'm doin' just fine without you. 564 00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:27,365 Yeah, Kevin, you're doin' just great. 565 00:23:29,326 --> 00:23:30,327 Fucking-- 566 00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:32,454 Oh... 567 00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:34,080 Ow! 568 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:36,499 This is--oh... 569 00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:38,835 This is bullshit. I-- 570 00:23:38,919 --> 00:23:41,171 Look, I'm just gonna go home and kill myself. 571 00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:43,173 You want to share a cab? 572 00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:44,549 So I can pass out 573 00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:46,259 and wake up alone on New Year's Day? 574 00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:47,695 No way, man. I'm going to this party. 575 00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:49,262 I've got a date. 576 00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:50,263 A date? 577 00:23:50,305 --> 00:23:51,181 Yep. 578 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:52,557 What, with the bartender? 579 00:23:52,641 --> 00:23:54,308 Yeah, with the bartender. You should come, Kevin. 580 00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,769 You might meet somebody. 581 00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:56,770 No way. 582 00:23:56,853 --> 00:23:58,312 I refuse to buy into the desperation 583 00:23:58,313 --> 00:23:59,313 of finding someone 584 00:23:59,314 --> 00:24:00,857 just because it's New Year's Eve. 585 00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:02,316 It's ridiculous and demeaning. 586 00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:04,318 Life is ridiculous and demeaning, Kevin. 587 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,320 You should have sex on your birthday. 588 00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:09,282 What is that, some kind of unwritten rule? 589 00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:10,659 Gangway, please. 590 00:24:10,742 --> 00:24:13,327 Yeah, it's a rule. 591 00:24:13,328 --> 00:24:15,329 In fact... 592 00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:17,331 Forget it. 593 00:24:17,332 --> 00:24:18,332 Wait. What? 594 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:19,333 Nothing. 595 00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:21,335 - Forget what? - Nothing. 596 00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:22,336 Well--Well... 597 00:24:22,337 --> 00:24:23,880 Lucy. 598 00:24:23,964 --> 00:24:24,881 Are you-- 599 00:24:24,965 --> 00:24:27,341 Are you offering yourself to me? 600 00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:29,343 Well--no, I-- 601 00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:32,346 I just thought if this thing with the bartender... 602 00:24:32,347 --> 00:24:33,890 doesn't work out... 603 00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:36,308 Yeah, right. 604 00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:37,852 You think I'm ugly. 605 00:24:37,936 --> 00:24:39,311 Well, I think you're drunk. 606 00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:40,522 You think I'm ugly. 607 00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:41,690 Lucy. 608 00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:43,900 You know I don't have ugly people for friends. 609 00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:44,901 Fine. 610 00:24:44,985 --> 00:24:46,903 This is just-- It's a waste of time. 611 00:24:46,987 --> 00:24:48,321 You're hell-bent on eliminating 612 00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:51,449 all traces of joy from this fine holiday. 613 00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:54,160 ...fine holiday! 614 00:24:54,244 --> 00:24:55,704 She said 615 00:25:17,976 --> 00:25:19,102 Hey! 616 00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:20,103 - Hey. - Wake up. 617 00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:21,980 - What? - What time is it? 618 00:25:24,649 --> 00:25:26,359 It's 09:25. 619 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,361 09:25. 620 00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:30,405 Yeah. 621 00:25:32,991 --> 00:25:34,366 09:25. 622 00:25:34,367 --> 00:25:36,077 Yeah. 623 00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:39,581 Why do you think 624 00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:41,249 they're doing this to me, Hillary? 625 00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:43,668 I don't know. 626 00:25:45,336 --> 00:25:46,838 I think I'm finally 627 00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:49,674 reaching the point of acceptance, though. 628 00:25:49,758 --> 00:25:52,342 I mean about no one showing up. 629 00:25:52,343 --> 00:25:54,804 It's kind of liberating. 630 00:25:54,888 --> 00:25:56,346 In a way. 631 00:25:56,347 --> 00:25:57,807 Like... 632 00:25:57,891 --> 00:25:59,893 like coming face to face 633 00:25:59,976 --> 00:26:01,895 with your worst nightmare. 634 00:26:01,978 --> 00:26:03,813 Like facing death. 635 00:26:03,897 --> 00:26:05,355 For Christ's sake, 636 00:26:05,356 --> 00:26:07,357 it's not like facing death. 637 00:26:07,358 --> 00:26:09,069 It's just a stupid New Year's Eve party. 638 00:26:09,152 --> 00:26:11,321 You're turning on me, too? 639 00:26:11,362 --> 00:26:12,362 OK, that's it. 640 00:26:12,363 --> 00:26:13,363 I'm leaving. 641 00:26:13,364 --> 00:26:14,364 What? What? 642 00:26:14,365 --> 00:26:15,909 No, no. You're my only guest. 643 00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:17,367 You can't leave before midnight. 644 00:26:17,368 --> 00:26:18,912 I'll be back later. 645 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:20,370 No, you won't. 646 00:26:20,371 --> 00:26:21,915 You say you will, but you won't. 647 00:26:21,998 --> 00:26:23,373 Hillary, please, please, 648 00:26:23,374 --> 00:26:25,375 please don't leave me here all alone 649 00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:27,337 with the streamers and the crab dip. 650 00:26:27,378 --> 00:26:28,378 I can't take it! 651 00:26:28,379 --> 00:26:29,379 Jesus! Do you hear yourself? 652 00:26:29,380 --> 00:26:31,381 Hillary, listen. 653 00:26:31,382 --> 00:26:33,927 You want to meet interesting guys, right? 654 00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:36,386 If you stay, I'll give you Eric. 655 00:26:36,387 --> 00:26:37,931 Eric? Who's Eric? 656 00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:39,933 You know, Eric, my last boyfriend. 657 00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:41,935 I don't believe I recall an Eric. 658 00:26:42,018 --> 00:26:43,898 Hillary, Jesus, we only broke up six months ago. 659 00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:46,106 Look, I don't remember who I was dating 660 00:26:46,189 --> 00:26:47,356 six months ago. 661 00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:48,900 You remember Eric. 662 00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:51,360 The painter, the one with the accent. 663 00:26:51,361 --> 00:26:53,822 Remember when we went to a show together? 664 00:26:53,905 --> 00:26:56,365 He does all these big abstract paintings with the, um... 665 00:26:56,366 --> 00:26:57,826 Oh, with the flowers? 666 00:26:57,909 --> 00:26:58,910 Yes, exactly. 667 00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:00,369 He isn't seeing anyone? 668 00:27:00,370 --> 00:27:01,913 Not anyone worth mentioning. 669 00:27:01,996 --> 00:27:03,331 OK. I'll do it. 670 00:27:03,373 --> 00:27:04,332 You'll stay? 671 00:27:04,374 --> 00:27:05,374 No, no. I'm still leaving. 672 00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:06,918 But now I'll come back. 673 00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:08,377 What--What do you mean, you'll come back? 674 00:27:08,378 --> 00:27:09,921 We made a deal. 675 00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:11,923 I know, but I wasn't coming back before. 676 00:27:12,006 --> 00:27:12,924 Now I will. 677 00:27:13,007 --> 00:27:15,384 But--No, that's-- that's not our deal. 678 00:27:15,385 --> 00:27:17,929 Our deal was you're not supposed to leave! 679 00:27:18,012 --> 00:27:19,139 Ohh! 680 00:27:19,222 --> 00:27:20,222 Woman: Maria! 681 00:27:22,392 --> 00:27:23,726 Are you breaking up with me? 682 00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:25,270 I don't know what to say. 683 00:27:25,353 --> 00:27:26,553 I thought everything was fine. 684 00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:29,065 Look, to tell you the truth, 685 00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:31,400 I'm still in love with my old boyfriend. 686 00:27:31,401 --> 00:27:33,403 He's French-Canadian. 687 00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:38,658 Yeah, and I met him... while... I was... 688 00:27:38,741 --> 00:27:39,659 Camping. 689 00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:40,743 Camping. 690 00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:42,369 Ha ha ha. 691 00:27:42,370 --> 00:27:43,788 don't believe this. 692 00:27:43,872 --> 00:27:45,748 We didn't even officially break up. 693 00:27:45,790 --> 00:27:47,500 Um, he just... 694 00:27:47,584 --> 00:27:48,877 disappeared. 695 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,377 Disappeared? 696 00:27:50,378 --> 00:27:52,797 While we were on a mountain-climbing trip. 697 00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:53,899 We all thought he was dead. 698 00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:55,508 But he called this morning, so... 699 00:27:55,592 --> 00:27:58,052 So he just called you up out of the blue. 700 00:27:58,136 --> 00:27:59,262 Just called you up to say, 701 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:01,139 "Hey, how are you? I'm not dead." 702 00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:02,807 That's right. 703 00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:04,684 Well, that's the most ridiculous story 704 00:28:04,767 --> 00:28:06,351 I've ever heard in my entire life. 705 00:28:06,352 --> 00:28:08,688 Eric, Jesus, Eric-- 706 00:28:08,771 --> 00:28:11,733 And what kind of woman are you anyway, 707 00:28:11,816 --> 00:28:13,443 just blurting it out like this 708 00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:16,237 in the street on New Year's Eve? 709 00:28:16,321 --> 00:28:17,362 I'm sorry. 710 00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:18,489 Oh, you're sorry? 711 00:28:18,573 --> 00:28:20,533 Yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, 712 00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:22,410 well, you better be sorry, sweetheart, 713 00:28:22,493 --> 00:28:24,579 because you're the one that has to live with this. 714 00:28:24,662 --> 00:28:27,372 Not me. You're the one inventing old boyfriends 715 00:28:27,373 --> 00:28:29,584 and bringing them back from the dead. 716 00:28:29,667 --> 00:28:33,880 And you, with your sordid little agenda. 717 00:28:33,963 --> 00:28:35,840 Well--Oh, I've had it with you. 718 00:28:35,924 --> 00:28:37,508 You deserve each other. 719 00:28:37,592 --> 00:28:40,303 I don't believe this! 720 00:28:40,386 --> 00:28:42,387 Oh, my God. Do you believe him? 721 00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:43,388 Really. 722 00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:44,389 Do you believe him? 723 00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:46,809 Like it's your fault he's bad in bed. 724 00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:56,069 There's no answer. 725 00:28:56,152 --> 00:28:57,737 Oh, my God, there's no answer? 726 00:28:57,820 --> 00:28:59,006 What the fuck is your mother doing 727 00:28:59,030 --> 00:29:00,364 not answering her phone? 728 00:29:00,365 --> 00:29:02,301 I don't know. Maybe she went to a party or something. 729 00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:03,451 Oh, my God. 730 00:29:03,534 --> 00:29:05,369 Or maybe she's down in the laundry room. 731 00:29:05,370 --> 00:29:06,597 Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do, 732 00:29:06,621 --> 00:29:09,374 hang out for the rinse cycle or something? 733 00:29:09,415 --> 00:29:10,917 I don't know. 734 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,311 All right, this is what you're gonna do. 735 00:29:12,335 --> 00:29:13,377 You're going to call this band 736 00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:14,688 and tell them we're meeting them early, all right? 737 00:29:14,712 --> 00:29:15,713 End of story. 738 00:29:15,797 --> 00:29:17,048 I can't. 739 00:29:17,131 --> 00:29:18,383 What do you mean you can't? 740 00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:20,385 I just can't, all right? 741 00:29:20,468 --> 00:29:23,763 Oh, my God. There is no band, is there? 742 00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:25,139 What are you talking about? 743 00:29:25,223 --> 00:29:26,349 I'm talking about you. 744 00:29:26,391 --> 00:29:28,309 The liar who's been bragging for months 745 00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:29,352 about how we're gonna meet this band 746 00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:31,395 on New Year's Eve in New York City, 747 00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:32,396 when there ain't no band. 748 00:29:32,397 --> 00:29:33,648 There ain't no nothing. 749 00:29:33,731 --> 00:29:34,792 It was the only way I could get you 750 00:29:34,816 --> 00:29:35,960 to come into the city with me. 751 00:29:35,984 --> 00:29:37,670 I bet your cousin isn't even having a party. 752 00:29:37,694 --> 00:29:42,323 She is having a party. I just need the address. 753 00:29:47,412 --> 00:29:49,122 All right, look. We'll go in here, 754 00:29:49,205 --> 00:29:50,373 we'll get a couple beers, 755 00:29:50,415 --> 00:29:51,833 and I'll try it again later. 756 00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:53,417 We don't belong in there, Val. 757 00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:54,419 We don't belong on "B." 758 00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:55,780 We're in way over our heads here. 759 00:29:55,837 --> 00:29:59,299 Stephie, we got money, we got fake IDs. 760 00:29:59,382 --> 00:30:00,383 From where I'm standing, 761 00:30:00,425 --> 00:30:01,777 we got just as much right to be in there 762 00:30:01,801 --> 00:30:03,219 as anybody else. 763 00:30:05,138 --> 00:30:06,430 Oh, my God. 764 00:30:06,431 --> 00:30:07,431 What? What's the matter? 765 00:30:07,432 --> 00:30:08,516 It's those guys. 766 00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:10,768 It's those guys. They're definitely following us. 767 00:30:10,852 --> 00:30:11,769 Are they cute? 768 00:30:11,853 --> 00:30:13,146 - Val! - I'm just asking. 769 00:30:13,229 --> 00:30:14,522 All right, come on, let's go. 770 00:30:16,441 --> 00:30:17,650 Stephie: Excuse me! 771 00:30:20,111 --> 00:30:21,445 You know what? 772 00:30:21,446 --> 00:30:23,448 I can't even tell you how many men I've fucked. 773 00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:24,574 I believe you. 774 00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:26,051 I couldn't--I couldn't even make a list anymore. 775 00:30:26,075 --> 00:30:27,118 That's how many there are. 776 00:30:27,201 --> 00:30:29,411 Lucy, I believe you fucked many, many men, OK? 777 00:30:29,412 --> 00:30:30,412 A lot more than Ellie. 778 00:30:30,413 --> 00:30:31,413 Just drop this now, please. 779 00:30:31,414 --> 00:30:32,414 That's for sure. 780 00:30:32,415 --> 00:30:34,542 She's too busy being expressive 781 00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:36,418 and making trivial performance art 782 00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:38,963 to attract anybody but you. 783 00:30:39,047 --> 00:30:41,257 And Jack, of course. 784 00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:42,467 What? 785 00:30:42,550 --> 00:30:44,218 Well, Jack will fuck anybody. 786 00:30:45,428 --> 00:30:48,056 Ellie and Jack? When did that happen? 787 00:30:48,139 --> 00:30:49,932 I don't know. Three weeks ago, a month. 788 00:30:50,016 --> 00:30:52,392 Recently? While we were still together? 789 00:30:52,393 --> 00:30:53,561 Why didn't you tell me? 790 00:30:53,644 --> 00:30:55,605 Kevin, I thought you knew. Everybody knew. 791 00:30:55,688 --> 00:30:59,025 Apparently not everyone. 792 00:30:59,108 --> 00:31:00,443 I can't believe this. 793 00:31:00,526 --> 00:31:03,863 It must be part of the whole Zelda thing. 794 00:31:03,946 --> 00:31:06,240 The whole, you know, high-strung, 795 00:31:06,324 --> 00:31:08,159 tempestuous, 796 00:31:08,242 --> 00:31:09,409 castrating, 797 00:31:09,410 --> 00:31:10,828 bitch from hell, 798 00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:12,955 make my life miserable persona. 799 00:31:21,297 --> 00:31:24,717 You know, this is turning out to be the worst birthday ever. 800 00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:28,012 I--I wasn't expecting much, but this is an unprecedented low. 801 00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:29,281 Don't try to make me feel sorry for you. 802 00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:30,390 Don't even start. 803 00:31:30,431 --> 00:31:33,433 'Cause I'm--I'm so sick of your shit tonight. 804 00:31:33,434 --> 00:31:34,477 You know what, Kevin? 805 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,728 We're going to that party. 806 00:31:35,812 --> 00:31:36,896 We're going to that party, 807 00:31:36,979 --> 00:31:38,438 and we're going to have fun, 808 00:31:38,439 --> 00:31:40,191 whether you like it or not. 809 00:31:40,274 --> 00:31:43,443 And you know what? 810 00:31:43,444 --> 00:31:46,072 You better pray that the bartender shows up. 811 00:31:47,323 --> 00:31:48,574 Oh! 812 00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:57,041 Wow. That was pretty embarrassing. 813 00:31:57,125 --> 00:31:59,502 I mean, that was awful. 814 00:31:59,544 --> 00:32:02,421 The pool table, the lamp, and everything. 815 00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:03,464 It's OK. I never planned 816 00:32:03,548 --> 00:32:05,424 on going back there again anyway, so. 817 00:32:05,425 --> 00:32:09,095 Jack, maybe I should just go home. 818 00:32:09,178 --> 00:32:10,680 If that's what you want. 819 00:32:10,763 --> 00:32:14,725 Uh, OK. I'll--I'll call you a cab. 820 00:32:14,809 --> 00:32:16,227 We could do it again another time. 821 00:32:16,310 --> 00:32:17,353 Absolutely. Sure. 822 00:32:17,437 --> 00:32:19,230 You know, when there isn't so much pressure. 823 00:32:19,313 --> 00:32:20,398 Pressure? 824 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,440 Yeah, you know. 825 00:32:21,441 --> 00:32:24,318 Big New Year's Eve date thing. 826 00:32:24,402 --> 00:32:27,446 And plus, I've never really done 827 00:32:27,447 --> 00:32:29,073 the kind of thing I did last night. 828 00:32:29,157 --> 00:32:31,242 Taxi! 829 00:32:31,325 --> 00:32:32,325 Goddamn it. 830 00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:35,371 As a matter of fact, I've Ne-- 831 00:32:35,455 --> 00:32:37,582 I never really did it at all. 832 00:32:37,665 --> 00:32:38,749 Did what? 833 00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:40,918 You know... 834 00:32:41,002 --> 00:32:42,003 It. 835 00:32:44,672 --> 00:32:46,466 It. You never-- You never did it? 836 00:32:47,508 --> 00:32:49,677 Oh, well, no. 837 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,138 You're kidding me. Why didn't you tell me? 838 00:32:52,221 --> 00:32:53,532 I guess I was afraid you were going to think 839 00:32:53,556 --> 00:32:55,432 I was some kind of freak or something. 840 00:32:55,433 --> 00:32:57,393 So what you're saying is that I was your first? 841 00:32:57,477 --> 00:32:58,644 Yeah. 842 00:32:58,728 --> 00:32:59,479 First, first. Like I was the first guy 843 00:32:59,562 --> 00:33:00,562 that you ever let... 844 00:33:00,605 --> 00:33:02,273 Ha ha ha. Yeah. 845 00:33:02,356 --> 00:33:03,691 - Ever? - Yeah. 846 00:33:03,774 --> 00:33:05,651 Yes. 847 00:33:06,944 --> 00:33:07,987 Wow. 848 00:33:08,070 --> 00:33:11,657 Ha ha. You're--You're embarrassing me, Jack. 849 00:33:11,741 --> 00:33:13,201 I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. 850 00:33:13,284 --> 00:33:15,912 I'm stunned. This has never happened to me before. 851 00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:17,139 Well, now you know how I feel. 852 00:33:17,163 --> 00:33:19,790 But why me? I mean, we hardly knew each other. 853 00:33:19,874 --> 00:33:22,460 You know, I don't really feel comfortable 854 00:33:22,543 --> 00:33:23,961 talking about this. 855 00:33:24,045 --> 00:33:25,421 Well, that's OK. I--I understand. 856 00:33:25,505 --> 00:33:26,505 Ah-choo! 857 00:33:26,547 --> 00:33:28,132 God, oh, you must be freezing. 858 00:33:28,216 --> 00:33:29,401 What am I doing? Let me get you inside. 859 00:33:29,425 --> 00:33:30,426 Are you hungry? 860 00:33:30,468 --> 00:33:32,470 Um, what, you don't want me to go home? 861 00:33:32,553 --> 00:33:34,263 No, no, no, don't go home. 862 00:33:34,347 --> 00:33:35,866 Stay. Stay. Let's get some food in you, 863 00:33:35,890 --> 00:33:37,850 and then we'll go to the party later, together. 864 00:33:37,934 --> 00:33:38,935 Are you sure? 865 00:33:39,018 --> 00:33:40,269 I'm--I'm really sure. 866 00:33:40,353 --> 00:33:42,414 Come on. I know this great little Indian place nearby. 867 00:33:42,438 --> 00:33:43,438 You like Indian? 868 00:33:43,439 --> 00:33:44,899 Well, sure! 869 00:33:44,982 --> 00:33:48,152 I mean, if you do. 870 00:33:48,236 --> 00:33:49,379 Bartender: This is where it is. 871 00:33:49,403 --> 00:33:51,822 It's, uh, it's supposed to be a good party. 872 00:33:51,906 --> 00:33:54,075 You guys should come by. 873 00:33:54,158 --> 00:33:55,910 - Yeah. - Thanks. We will. 874 00:33:55,993 --> 00:33:58,246 Yeah, fine. 875 00:33:58,329 --> 00:34:00,790 Mmm, mmm, mmm, he's so cute. 876 00:34:00,873 --> 00:34:03,251 Yeah, OK, it's almost ten, 877 00:34:03,334 --> 00:34:06,629 and, um, we've got to get dates. 878 00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:07,922 What about him? 879 00:34:08,005 --> 00:34:09,257 Please, it's just too desperate 880 00:34:09,340 --> 00:34:11,259 getting picked up by some bartender. 881 00:34:11,342 --> 00:34:13,469 Some bartender? What are you? You're a waitress. 882 00:34:13,511 --> 00:34:15,638 Excuse me. I'm an artist. 883 00:34:15,721 --> 00:34:17,807 OK, so maybe he's an artist, too. 884 00:34:17,890 --> 00:34:19,474 Believe me, he's not an artist. 885 00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:20,577 Will you just forget about him? 886 00:34:22,144 --> 00:34:24,272 We still have two more hours. 887 00:34:24,355 --> 00:34:27,900 Caitlyn, I know a girl who went home alone on New Year's Eve. 888 00:34:27,984 --> 00:34:29,753 It was like she was jinxed for the whole year. 889 00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:33,488 Twelve months, completely invisible to guys, OK? 890 00:34:33,489 --> 00:34:35,616 It was like she was tainted. 891 00:34:35,700 --> 00:34:36,700 We'll get dates. 892 00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:38,536 When have we ever not gotten dates? 893 00:34:38,619 --> 00:34:40,495 It happened to me. 894 00:34:40,496 --> 00:34:42,832 Remember '78, I went home alone? 895 00:34:42,915 --> 00:34:43,915 You were in a committed, 896 00:34:43,958 --> 00:34:46,961 monogamous relationship that week. 897 00:34:47,044 --> 00:34:49,797 There was no committed monogamous relationship. 898 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,507 That was a cover story. 899 00:34:54,510 --> 00:34:55,886 Hi. 900 00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,142 I forgot my key. 901 00:35:01,225 --> 00:35:03,811 Jenny, I'm--I'm sorry. 902 00:35:03,894 --> 00:35:09,692 Don't. Love means never having to say you're sorry. 903 00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,986 I hate you motherfuckers. 904 00:35:17,575 --> 00:35:19,619 Oh, my God... 905 00:35:19,702 --> 00:35:20,703 Guests! 906 00:35:20,786 --> 00:35:22,163 Thank you, God, thank you! 907 00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:24,999 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 908 00:35:25,082 --> 00:35:26,082 Coming! 909 00:35:33,466 --> 00:35:35,968 Eric, hi. Happy New... 910 00:35:36,052 --> 00:35:37,178 Year. 911 00:35:42,266 --> 00:35:43,434 Great party. 912 00:35:43,476 --> 00:35:44,703 Oh, come on, Eric. You know how it is. 913 00:35:44,727 --> 00:35:46,079 No one wants to be the first to arrive. 914 00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:48,480 That's all. 915 00:35:48,481 --> 00:35:50,482 How about some food? You want some food? 916 00:35:50,483 --> 00:35:52,568 I made the crab dip myself. 917 00:35:55,529 --> 00:35:58,491 So, uh, where's, um, what's-her-face? 918 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:01,077 She's not coming. 919 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,120 Oh, she's not? 920 00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:06,499 She broke up with me. Do you believe that? 921 00:36:06,582 --> 00:36:09,960 It's New Year's Eve, and the woman breaks up with me. 922 00:36:10,044 --> 00:36:13,339 And wait till you hear the story she came up with. 923 00:36:13,422 --> 00:36:17,385 Suddenly, she's got this mountain-climbing boyfriend 924 00:36:17,468 --> 00:36:19,428 that everyone thought was dead, 925 00:36:19,470 --> 00:36:21,764 but now it turns out he's alive! 926 00:36:21,847 --> 00:36:25,101 Have you ever heard such a pile of shit? 927 00:36:25,184 --> 00:36:27,478 Well, you know how it is. 928 00:36:28,813 --> 00:36:30,082 You know what we need? We need some music. 929 00:36:30,106 --> 00:36:31,565 Don't you think? 930 00:36:31,649 --> 00:36:33,776 Something Christmas-y, huh? 931 00:36:33,859 --> 00:36:35,485 I hate Christmas. 932 00:36:35,486 --> 00:36:36,755 Jesus, Eric, help me out here, OK? 933 00:36:36,779 --> 00:36:39,115 I'm hanging on by a thread. 934 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,828 Feliz Navidad 935 00:36:43,911 --> 00:36:44,911 Feliz Navidad 936 00:36:44,954 --> 00:36:47,707 Oh, my God. Stop yourself! 937 00:36:47,790 --> 00:36:49,875 Look, I hate the holidays. 938 00:36:49,959 --> 00:36:52,294 I hate the way they're all bunched together. 939 00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:54,797 And I think the whole thing stinks. 940 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,091 And--And it's all bullshit. 941 00:36:57,174 --> 00:36:58,884 Feliz Navidad 942 00:37:02,179 --> 00:37:06,183 Yeah, yeah, yeah 943 00:37:06,267 --> 00:37:09,353 Hey, could we get some beers over here? 944 00:37:14,483 --> 00:37:16,819 Oh, my God, Val, we have to go. 945 00:37:16,902 --> 00:37:18,588 Would you hold on a minute? I'm trying to get a beer. 946 00:37:18,612 --> 00:37:20,114 Val, Val, it's those guys! 947 00:37:20,197 --> 00:37:21,597 It's them. They're coming over here! 948 00:37:21,657 --> 00:37:23,409 Oh, God, those are them? 949 00:37:23,492 --> 00:37:24,452 Come on! 950 00:37:24,493 --> 00:37:27,955 Oh, shit! Move it. Excuse me. 951 00:37:28,038 --> 00:37:29,457 We're sorry. 952 00:37:29,498 --> 00:37:30,708 Hurry up! 953 00:37:33,252 --> 00:37:34,920 Over there. There's the door. Come on! 954 00:37:35,004 --> 00:37:36,797 Jesus, Stephie! 955 00:37:39,842 --> 00:37:41,469 Hey. Aah! 956 00:37:44,430 --> 00:37:46,015 Come on! Come on! 957 00:37:50,394 --> 00:37:51,228 Aah! 958 00:37:51,312 --> 00:37:52,605 Aah! 959 00:37:54,482 --> 00:37:56,275 Oh! Aah! 960 00:37:57,401 --> 00:37:58,485 We're fucked. 961 00:37:58,486 --> 00:38:00,029 Oh, my God. 962 00:38:09,872 --> 00:38:12,499 Oh, hey, how you doing? 963 00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:14,627 Wow, it's kind of, uh, hot in there, huh? 964 00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:19,006 We thought we'd come out here and get some air and just, um, 965 00:38:19,089 --> 00:38:23,636 and, uh, take this opportunity to introduce ourselves. 966 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,180 My name's Tom. This is Dave. 967 00:38:26,263 --> 00:38:29,850 And, uh--hey, man, he has no manners. 968 00:38:29,934 --> 00:38:31,495 Show the ladies what we've got for them, bro. 969 00:38:31,519 --> 00:38:32,520 Mmm. 970 00:38:39,527 --> 00:38:42,530 Beverages. Beer. 971 00:38:59,088 --> 00:39:00,172 Ha ha. 972 00:39:02,466 --> 00:39:04,510 Jack, you're doing it again. 973 00:39:04,552 --> 00:39:07,680 Oh, I'm sorry. It's just, uh, 974 00:39:07,763 --> 00:39:09,515 you know, what can I say? 975 00:39:09,557 --> 00:39:11,600 This is--This is turning out to be 976 00:39:11,684 --> 00:39:13,561 a pretty unusual evening. 977 00:39:15,104 --> 00:39:16,647 Unusual? 978 00:39:16,730 --> 00:39:18,523 How? 979 00:39:18,524 --> 00:39:21,235 Well, unusual, um, 980 00:39:21,318 --> 00:39:25,531 in no, uh, particular way. Look... 981 00:39:25,614 --> 00:39:29,451 Um, Cindy, I hate to press a point here, 982 00:39:29,535 --> 00:39:31,179 but I keep thinking about what you said earlier 983 00:39:31,203 --> 00:39:33,265 about last night being your first time and everything. 984 00:39:33,289 --> 00:39:34,539 What about it? 985 00:39:34,540 --> 00:39:37,751 I wonder, you know, why me? 986 00:39:37,835 --> 00:39:39,545 You know, what--what was it about me 987 00:39:39,587 --> 00:39:42,547 in particular, OK? Being specific, 988 00:39:42,548 --> 00:39:45,759 that made you decide to, you know. 989 00:39:45,843 --> 00:39:50,556 Oh, yeah, OK, yeah, right. 990 00:39:50,639 --> 00:39:53,558 It's, um... 991 00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:55,311 Why did I choose you? 992 00:39:58,439 --> 00:40:00,524 Mmm... 993 00:40:02,526 --> 00:40:03,694 Drawing a blank. 994 00:40:05,863 --> 00:40:09,366 That's--That's OK, drawing a-- 995 00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:12,912 You know that they say, uh, blanks are, um-- 996 00:40:12,995 --> 00:40:15,664 Look, uh, as an actor, 997 00:40:15,748 --> 00:40:18,499 Cindy, I find myself very intrigued 998 00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:20,127 by people's motivations. 999 00:40:20,169 --> 00:40:22,503 Mm-hmm. 1000 00:40:22,504 --> 00:40:24,505 Look, you're-- 1001 00:40:24,506 --> 00:40:25,692 you're a very attractive girl. 1002 00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:27,384 You must have had lots of opportunities. 1003 00:40:27,468 --> 00:40:28,928 Especially as pretty as you are, 1004 00:40:29,011 --> 00:40:31,013 I'm surprised it hasn't happened by accident, 1005 00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:32,848 so a guy has to wonder... 1006 00:40:32,932 --> 00:40:34,516 what makes him so great? 1007 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:39,980 Well, one thing I remember about last night was... 1008 00:40:40,064 --> 00:40:41,064 Yes. 1009 00:40:42,733 --> 00:40:44,401 That you were probably the most... 1010 00:40:44,485 --> 00:40:46,320 The most what? 1011 00:40:46,403 --> 00:40:47,613 Oh, God. 1012 00:40:47,696 --> 00:40:48,948 You OK? 1013 00:40:49,031 --> 00:40:50,031 Here, drink some water. 1014 00:40:50,074 --> 00:40:50,950 - Oh, God. - Drink! 1015 00:40:51,033 --> 00:40:52,135 Drink it! 1016 00:40:52,159 --> 00:40:53,160 - Ow! - Here, no. 1017 00:40:53,243 --> 00:40:55,829 Uh, that'll make it worse. Have some wine. 1018 00:40:55,913 --> 00:40:57,706 Is it better? 1019 00:40:57,790 --> 00:40:59,267 You probably ate one of those chilies. 1020 00:40:59,291 --> 00:41:01,085 No, it was so big. 1021 00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:06,048 Try to keep it in your mouth. 1022 00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:07,549 It was so big. 1023 00:41:07,633 --> 00:41:09,343 I thought it was okra. 1024 00:41:09,426 --> 00:41:10,551 Okra's brown. 1025 00:41:10,552 --> 00:41:11,595 What, are you OK? 1026 00:41:11,679 --> 00:41:12,680 Mmm! 1027 00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:14,890 I'll be... fine. 1028 00:41:14,974 --> 00:41:16,475 Eww! 1029 00:41:16,558 --> 00:41:17,601 I'll be OK. 1030 00:41:19,645 --> 00:41:20,645 Oh! 1031 00:41:21,939 --> 00:41:23,190 It's all right. It's all right. 1032 00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:24,793 It's all right. This happens every day. 1033 00:41:24,817 --> 00:41:26,276 I'm sorry. 1034 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,529 Oh! 1035 00:41:29,530 --> 00:41:31,532 Oh. 1036 00:41:31,615 --> 00:41:32,615 I'll be right back. 1037 00:41:32,658 --> 00:41:34,076 That is fine! No problem. 1038 00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:37,037 It happens here every night. 1039 00:41:37,121 --> 00:41:38,539 The most what? 1040 00:41:40,332 --> 00:41:41,250 No, I'm not going to shut up. 1041 00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:42,251 I have a right to know. 1042 00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:43,252 I have a right to know 1043 00:41:43,335 --> 00:41:45,545 why you won't fuck me, Kevin. 1044 00:41:45,546 --> 00:41:46,588 Lucy, do you want to fuck? 1045 00:41:46,672 --> 00:41:48,548 Because if you really, really want to fuck, 1046 00:41:48,549 --> 00:41:49,925 we'll fuck, OK? 1047 00:41:50,009 --> 00:41:51,760 You don't think I'm serious. 1048 00:41:51,844 --> 00:41:54,013 How long have we known each other? 1049 00:41:54,096 --> 00:41:55,699 In the--In the years we've known each other, 1050 00:41:55,723 --> 00:41:57,933 have you once even ever considered having sex with me? 1051 00:41:58,017 --> 00:41:59,559 Apart from tonight. 1052 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,895 You don't think I'm attracted to you. 1053 00:42:01,979 --> 00:42:03,999 I don't think you're attracted to half the men you sleep with. 1054 00:42:04,023 --> 00:42:05,399 You think I'm a slut! 1055 00:42:05,482 --> 00:42:06,482 What? No. 1056 00:42:06,525 --> 00:42:08,694 Yeah, you think I'm a big slut. 1057 00:42:08,777 --> 00:42:10,571 I don't think you're a slut. 1058 00:42:10,612 --> 00:42:14,199 A--A stanky, little ho maybe, 1059 00:42:14,283 --> 00:42:15,325 but never a slut. 1060 00:42:15,409 --> 00:42:18,746 The truth is you're afraid. 1061 00:42:18,829 --> 00:42:19,913 What? I'm afraid. 1062 00:42:20,039 --> 00:42:22,958 I'm, yeah, OK, you-- I feel so naked right now. 1063 00:42:23,042 --> 00:42:24,042 I'm totally afraid. 1064 00:42:24,084 --> 00:42:25,627 It is so obvious. 1065 00:42:25,711 --> 00:42:28,380 And so ridiculous. 1066 00:42:28,464 --> 00:42:30,174 Prove it. 1067 00:42:31,550 --> 00:42:33,052 I don't have to prove anything. 1068 00:42:33,135 --> 00:42:34,553 I dare you. 1069 00:42:35,554 --> 00:42:37,598 Kevin, I dare you to fuck me. 1070 00:42:39,058 --> 00:42:41,185 What? So what, now? 1071 00:42:41,268 --> 00:42:43,270 You want to go to some smelly bathroom 1072 00:42:43,353 --> 00:42:45,522 and, uh, have loveless New Year's sex 1073 00:42:45,564 --> 00:42:48,525 in the stench of air freshener? 1074 00:42:48,567 --> 00:42:50,027 Unless you're chicken. 1075 00:43:03,582 --> 00:43:04,809 So we got to go back to the club 1076 00:43:04,833 --> 00:43:06,436 to deliver this package to my friend Tony. 1077 00:43:06,460 --> 00:43:07,377 Is that cool? 1078 00:43:07,461 --> 00:43:08,754 Yeah, it's cool. 1079 00:43:08,837 --> 00:43:11,590 So, uh, what's in this package anyway? 1080 00:43:11,673 --> 00:43:14,343 It's, uh... 1081 00:43:14,426 --> 00:43:15,570 Well, it's, uh, you know, it's uh, 1082 00:43:15,594 --> 00:43:17,346 it's like I said, it's for my friend Tony. 1083 00:43:17,429 --> 00:43:18,555 Oh, yeah? It's for Tony? 1084 00:43:18,597 --> 00:43:20,099 All right. Well, I'm leaving. 1085 00:43:20,182 --> 00:43:21,182 Where you going? 1086 00:43:21,225 --> 00:43:22,559 I'm going to the train station 1087 00:43:22,601 --> 00:43:25,062 to get out of here before these jerks get us killed. 1088 00:43:25,104 --> 00:43:27,022 You wanted to hang out with the bands, right? 1089 00:43:27,106 --> 00:43:28,816 These guys are musicians. 1090 00:43:28,899 --> 00:43:31,568 They're roadies, Val. There's a little difference. 1091 00:43:33,153 --> 00:43:34,339 I didn't want to have to tell you this 1092 00:43:34,363 --> 00:43:36,824 'cause I know you're gonna spaz out, 1093 00:43:36,907 --> 00:43:38,492 but the last train for Ronkonkoma 1094 00:43:38,575 --> 00:43:40,244 left an hour ago. 1095 00:43:40,327 --> 00:43:43,497 Are you telling me we're stranded here for the night? 1096 00:43:43,580 --> 00:43:45,040 We gotta book. You coming? 1097 00:43:45,124 --> 00:43:47,000 Yeah, we're coming. 1098 00:43:48,627 --> 00:43:49,627 Heroin. 1099 00:43:49,670 --> 00:43:52,256 Oh, Stephie, you know? 1100 00:43:54,716 --> 00:43:55,926 Caitlyn, I'm warning you, 1101 00:43:56,009 --> 00:43:58,011 keep your slutty hands off my bartender. 1102 00:43:58,095 --> 00:43:59,388 He's not your bartender. 1103 00:43:59,471 --> 00:44:02,598 He's our bartender. 1104 00:44:02,599 --> 00:44:05,310 Caitlyn, your skirt's been over your head for hours. 1105 00:44:05,394 --> 00:44:07,771 Jesus, like it's my fault I'm irresistible to men. 1106 00:44:07,855 --> 00:44:11,608 Look, he wants me. Not you, me. 1107 00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:12,650 You think so? 1108 00:44:12,693 --> 00:44:14,610 Yeah, I do think so. 1109 00:44:14,611 --> 00:44:15,611 Hey, guys. 1110 00:44:15,612 --> 00:44:16,822 - Hi. - Hi. 1111 00:44:16,905 --> 00:44:19,008 Listen, I think it's still a bit early for this party. 1112 00:44:19,032 --> 00:44:20,632 What do you say we go get some cocktails? 1113 00:44:28,458 --> 00:44:29,877 Eric: For some reason, 1114 00:44:30,002 --> 00:44:31,378 every single woman I go out with 1115 00:44:31,461 --> 00:44:33,714 ends up breaking up with me. 1116 00:44:33,839 --> 00:44:35,590 I mean, why is that, Monica? 1117 00:44:35,591 --> 00:44:38,886 I don't know. Lots of reasons probably. 1118 00:44:38,969 --> 00:44:40,595 Yeah, right. 1119 00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:42,639 Yeah, it's always lots of reasons. 1120 00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:43,950 I've never got a straight answer 1121 00:44:43,974 --> 00:44:45,475 out of one of you. 1122 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,896 Like you... 1123 00:44:48,979 --> 00:44:50,189 What was your reason? 1124 00:44:50,272 --> 00:44:52,774 Oh, really, Eric, who remembers? 1125 00:44:52,858 --> 00:44:55,194 You don't remember? It was only six months ago. 1126 00:44:55,277 --> 00:44:57,570 Well, six months is a long time. 1127 00:44:57,571 --> 00:44:59,656 No, six months is nothing! 1128 00:44:59,740 --> 00:45:01,825 Jesus, Eric, relax. 1129 00:45:01,909 --> 00:45:05,578 OK, fine. You don't remember the lame excuse 1130 00:45:05,579 --> 00:45:07,831 you gave me months ago for breaking up with me. 1131 00:45:07,915 --> 00:45:09,041 I'll tell you. 1132 00:45:09,124 --> 00:45:11,376 You like me as a friend, but not as a boyfriend, 1133 00:45:11,460 --> 00:45:13,462 even though you found me attractive. 1134 00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:16,590 That's not lame. 1135 00:45:16,632 --> 00:45:18,591 It makes no sense whatsoever. 1136 00:45:18,592 --> 00:45:20,593 I think it makes sense. 1137 00:45:20,594 --> 00:45:23,597 See? That's what I'm talking about. 1138 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,474 That's what I have to deal with. 1139 00:45:25,557 --> 00:45:28,769 These insane leaps of reasoning. 1140 00:45:28,852 --> 00:45:30,646 And they sound logical at first, 1141 00:45:30,771 --> 00:45:31,897 until later. 1142 00:45:31,980 --> 00:45:33,565 Until you go home, sit down, 1143 00:45:33,607 --> 00:45:35,067 and think about them. 1144 00:45:35,150 --> 00:45:37,277 And then it's like... 1145 00:45:37,361 --> 00:45:38,361 what? 1146 00:45:38,403 --> 00:45:41,365 Really, Eric, you just got to calm down. 1147 00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:44,159 Look, all I'm asking for is the truth. 1148 00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,495 If you want to break up with me, fine. 1149 00:45:46,578 --> 00:45:48,914 Just tell me the reason why. 1150 00:45:48,997 --> 00:45:50,582 Is that too much to ask? 1151 00:45:54,378 --> 00:45:55,837 I'm stupid. 1152 00:45:58,966 --> 00:45:59,883 What are you doing? 1153 00:45:59,967 --> 00:46:00,884 I'm going home. 1154 00:46:00,968 --> 00:46:02,052 But you just got here. 1155 00:46:02,135 --> 00:46:04,304 Eric, please, please, don't do this. Don't go. 1156 00:46:04,388 --> 00:46:06,765 OK, fine, I won't go home. 1157 00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:08,225 Tell me the truth and I'll stay. 1158 00:46:08,308 --> 00:46:09,226 What? 1159 00:46:09,309 --> 00:46:10,310 Tell me the real reason 1160 00:46:10,394 --> 00:46:12,604 you broke up with me and I'll stay. 1161 00:46:15,732 --> 00:46:18,610 OK, OK, OK, OK, I'll do it. Oh, God! 1162 00:46:24,366 --> 00:46:26,617 I can't speak for Bridget or any of the others... 1163 00:46:26,618 --> 00:46:28,370 Fine. 1164 00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:31,248 But for me, just for me. 1165 00:46:34,334 --> 00:46:35,711 The truth is I broke up with you 1166 00:46:35,794 --> 00:46:38,255 because you were the worst lover 1167 00:46:38,338 --> 00:46:39,630 I ever had in my life. 1168 00:46:39,631 --> 00:46:41,300 What? 1169 00:46:41,383 --> 00:46:42,384 I'm serious. 1170 00:46:42,467 --> 00:46:43,634 Even counting high school, 1171 00:46:43,635 --> 00:46:46,930 it was--it was bad. 1172 00:46:52,978 --> 00:46:54,645 Ow! 1173 00:46:54,646 --> 00:46:56,064 What are you doing? 1174 00:46:56,148 --> 00:46:57,065 The dress. 1175 00:46:57,149 --> 00:46:58,066 What's wrong with it? 1176 00:46:58,150 --> 00:46:59,276 The zipper's stuck. 1177 00:47:01,570 --> 00:47:03,530 Oh, my God. I'm sorry. 1178 00:47:10,620 --> 00:47:11,620 Damn, baby. 1179 00:47:11,621 --> 00:47:15,624 Do that to me one more time 1180 00:47:15,625 --> 00:47:18,628 Once is never enough 1181 00:47:18,712 --> 00:47:20,630 - With a man like you - Ow! 1182 00:47:20,672 --> 00:47:21,965 I'm all right. You OK? 1183 00:47:22,049 --> 00:47:23,175 I'm fine. 1184 00:47:23,258 --> 00:47:26,219 Do that to me one more time 1185 00:47:32,017 --> 00:47:34,686 Oh 1186 00:47:34,811 --> 00:47:38,606 Kiss me 1187 00:47:38,607 --> 00:47:40,817 Like you just did 1188 00:47:40,901 --> 00:47:42,277 We're just having fun. 1189 00:47:43,612 --> 00:47:44,696 Oh, baby 1190 00:47:46,865 --> 00:47:47,949 Someone's coming. 1191 00:47:48,033 --> 00:47:49,617 Do that to me once again 1192 00:47:49,618 --> 00:47:52,037 Ellie: Kevin? 1193 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,621 Hello, Kevin. 1194 00:47:53,622 --> 00:47:54,998 I recognize your shoes. 1195 00:47:55,082 --> 00:47:57,125 I bought them for you, remember? 1196 00:47:57,209 --> 00:47:58,210 Uh-oh. 1197 00:48:00,212 --> 00:48:02,089 Pass that by me one more time 1198 00:48:02,172 --> 00:48:03,090 Ellie. 1199 00:48:03,173 --> 00:48:05,509 Oh, that's perfect. 1200 00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:07,636 Perfect. Good for you. 1201 00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:09,721 Wait. 1202 00:48:11,014 --> 00:48:12,015 That's perfect. 1203 00:48:12,099 --> 00:48:13,266 What are you doing here? 1204 00:48:13,350 --> 00:48:15,268 I was contemplating using the bathroom, asshole. 1205 00:48:15,352 --> 00:48:17,813 This is such an incredible coincidence. 1206 00:48:17,896 --> 00:48:19,248 Isn't this an incredible coincidence? 1207 00:48:19,272 --> 00:48:20,857 Yeah, it's incredible. 1208 00:48:20,941 --> 00:48:22,109 It is incredible. 1209 00:48:22,192 --> 00:48:24,361 - Weird. - I can't believe it. 1210 00:48:24,444 --> 00:48:26,405 Twenty-four hours ago, you were so heartbroken, 1211 00:48:26,488 --> 00:48:27,655 and now you're throwing yourself at her? 1212 00:48:27,656 --> 00:48:29,950 Her? We're just friends. You remember Lucy. 1213 00:48:30,033 --> 00:48:32,577 Why did you have to bring her to our coffee shop? 1214 00:48:33,662 --> 00:48:34,704 It's not what you think. 1215 00:48:34,788 --> 00:48:36,248 You know what? 1216 00:48:36,331 --> 00:48:38,625 It doesn't even matter what I think. 1217 00:48:38,708 --> 00:48:39,626 Don't. Wait, where you going? 1218 00:48:39,709 --> 00:48:41,878 Off. Off. Off. 1219 00:48:42,003 --> 00:48:43,629 To call my therapist. 1220 00:48:43,630 --> 00:48:45,191 You can't call your therapist on New Year's Eve. 1221 00:48:45,215 --> 00:48:46,341 I'm staying at his place. 1222 00:48:46,425 --> 00:48:47,610 Oh, so you're shacking up with him? 1223 00:48:47,634 --> 00:48:48,653 No, I'm not shacking up with him. 1224 00:48:48,677 --> 00:48:50,321 I'm staying there until I find a new apartment. 1225 00:48:50,345 --> 00:48:51,637 Wasn't there enough room at Jack's? 1226 00:48:51,638 --> 00:48:52,638 What are you talking about? 1227 00:48:52,639 --> 00:48:53,866 Well, I just happened to hear a whole story 1228 00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:55,451 about how you and Jack were sleeping with each other 1229 00:48:55,475 --> 00:48:56,494 the entire time we were going out. 1230 00:48:56,518 --> 00:48:58,311 Oh, stop it. You're insane. 1231 00:48:58,395 --> 00:49:00,188 I've never slept with Jack. 1232 00:49:02,566 --> 00:49:03,649 What? 1233 00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:05,569 I have never slept with Jack. 1234 00:49:05,652 --> 00:49:06,903 I don't believe you. 1235 00:49:06,987 --> 00:49:08,530 You know, I just-- 1236 00:49:08,613 --> 00:49:10,240 I just left a message on your machine 1237 00:49:10,323 --> 00:49:11,657 saying I wanted to move back in. 1238 00:49:11,658 --> 00:49:14,619 That is so pathetic. Fine. You know what? 1239 00:49:14,661 --> 00:49:15,996 Enjoy. Enjoy. 1240 00:49:17,664 --> 00:49:18,790 But, baby! 1241 00:49:18,874 --> 00:49:20,667 No, don't "baby" me. 1242 00:49:24,212 --> 00:49:27,257 OK, so I was wrong about Jack. 1243 00:49:38,977 --> 00:49:40,520 Jack? 1244 00:49:41,646 --> 00:49:43,356 Uh, hi. Um... 1245 00:49:44,608 --> 00:49:46,276 - Cheryl. - Cheryl. Right. 1246 00:49:46,359 --> 00:49:48,004 I can't believe you don't remember my name. 1247 00:49:48,028 --> 00:49:50,614 What are you talking about? It's Cheryl. 1248 00:49:50,697 --> 00:49:54,367 I just--I just said. Cheryl, right? 1249 00:49:54,451 --> 00:49:56,828 So, uh, how--how are things? 1250 00:49:56,912 --> 00:49:59,080 You said you were going out of town for New Year's Eve. 1251 00:49:59,164 --> 00:50:02,667 Really? I said that. That's, uh, that's fun-- 1252 00:50:02,751 --> 00:50:04,628 It's funny. I don't remember saying that. 1253 00:50:04,669 --> 00:50:06,629 You said you'd be gone all week. 1254 00:50:06,630 --> 00:50:07,631 Oh, I did say that. 1255 00:50:07,714 --> 00:50:09,716 Uh, and, uh, you know what happened? 1256 00:50:09,799 --> 00:50:11,301 My ski trip. Ahem. 1257 00:50:11,384 --> 00:50:12,403 I was supposed to go on a ski trip 1258 00:50:12,427 --> 00:50:13,595 and it got canceled. 1259 00:50:13,637 --> 00:50:14,917 You said you were flying to L.A. 1260 00:50:14,971 --> 00:50:16,639 to audition for a sitcom. 1261 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,641 I did? 1262 00:50:18,642 --> 00:50:19,660 I can't believe I was stupid enough 1263 00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:20,685 to care about you, Jack. 1264 00:50:20,769 --> 00:50:23,396 Uh, look. 1265 00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:24,523 Uh, Cheryl-- 1266 00:50:24,606 --> 00:50:26,024 Just do me a favor. 1267 00:50:26,107 --> 00:50:27,943 Don't call me again. 1268 00:50:28,026 --> 00:50:29,528 OK? 1269 00:50:31,196 --> 00:50:32,405 Jerk. 1270 00:50:32,489 --> 00:50:33,823 Good to see you, too, Cheryl. 1271 00:50:35,909 --> 00:50:39,621 Hap--Hap-- Happy New Year. Hi. 1272 00:50:40,705 --> 00:50:42,666 She's my friend. 1273 00:50:51,091 --> 00:50:53,676 Hey, pal, did you see, uh-- 1274 00:50:53,677 --> 00:50:56,555 Right. Cindy, uh, you OK in there? 1275 00:50:56,638 --> 00:50:59,599 I'm just fine. 1276 00:50:59,683 --> 00:51:00,809 Great, Jack. 1277 00:51:04,646 --> 00:51:07,732 OK, it's, uh, how you doing? 1278 00:51:07,816 --> 00:51:09,109 Uh, Cindy, please, 1279 00:51:09,192 --> 00:51:10,277 we're making a scene. 1280 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,695 Could you come out of there now? 1281 00:51:11,736 --> 00:51:14,781 Um... yeah. 1282 00:51:18,535 --> 00:51:19,702 Uh, you about ready to go? 1283 00:51:19,703 --> 00:51:20,930 Because I think I'd really like to get out of here. 1284 00:51:20,954 --> 00:51:21,997 Like right now. 1285 00:51:23,957 --> 00:51:24,957 Cindy! 1286 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:26,000 I'm coming. 1287 00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:29,462 Please. Please, Cindy. 1288 00:51:29,546 --> 00:51:31,548 Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you. 1289 00:51:31,631 --> 00:51:34,050 For reasons I can't explain right now, 1290 00:51:34,134 --> 00:51:36,845 I need you to come out of the bathroom. 1291 00:51:36,928 --> 00:51:37,971 Come out. 1292 00:51:41,141 --> 00:51:42,350 Oh, my God. 1293 00:51:42,434 --> 00:51:44,728 You look like you're about to throw up or something. 1294 00:51:45,979 --> 00:51:48,732 I know. I look terrible. 1295 00:51:48,857 --> 00:51:50,042 No, no, that's not what I meant. 1296 00:51:50,066 --> 00:51:51,610 I mean, look, so what, you ate a chili. 1297 00:51:51,693 --> 00:51:53,028 It's no big deal. 1298 00:51:53,111 --> 00:51:54,404 Yeah, sure, you say that now, 1299 00:51:54,487 --> 00:51:57,532 but tomorrow, it's going to be another story. 1300 00:51:57,616 --> 00:51:59,367 You know, tomorrow, it's going to be, 1301 00:51:59,451 --> 00:52:00,952 "Oh, no, there's that chili girl 1302 00:52:01,036 --> 00:52:02,203 calling me again. 1303 00:52:02,287 --> 00:52:04,372 Come on. You don't know that's going to happen. 1304 00:52:08,668 --> 00:52:10,420 Eww. 1305 00:52:10,503 --> 00:52:13,672 I just wanted everything to be perfect. 1306 00:52:13,673 --> 00:52:16,801 Because, Jack, I really think you're the most... 1307 00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:22,681 I just think you're so... 1308 00:52:22,682 --> 00:52:25,684 What? What? 1309 00:52:25,685 --> 00:52:29,397 I just think you're a really nice person, Jack. 1310 00:52:29,481 --> 00:52:31,191 You think I'm nice? 1311 00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:33,068 You are nice. 1312 00:52:33,151 --> 00:52:34,194 Remember last night 1313 00:52:34,277 --> 00:52:37,697 when I got the nosebleed at the party? 1314 00:52:37,781 --> 00:52:40,075 You know, most guys wouldn't even look at me 1315 00:52:40,158 --> 00:52:42,827 after something like that. 1316 00:52:42,911 --> 00:52:44,663 Most guys. 1317 00:52:44,746 --> 00:52:46,641 Uh, why don't we-- why don't we take this outside? 1318 00:52:46,665 --> 00:52:47,624 What? 1319 00:52:47,666 --> 00:52:49,000 Let's just talk, but outside. 1320 00:52:49,084 --> 00:52:50,377 Oh, OK. 1321 00:52:50,460 --> 00:52:52,504 Not in--no, here, wait a minute. 1322 00:52:53,922 --> 00:52:54,839 No, no, no, no, this way. 1323 00:52:54,923 --> 00:52:55,924 I paid the check already. 1324 00:52:56,007 --> 00:52:57,842 I got your coat, your gloves. 1325 00:52:59,010 --> 00:53:00,679 Ow! 1326 00:53:00,762 --> 00:53:03,681 She's got Bette Davis eyes 1327 00:53:03,682 --> 00:53:07,227 She'll take a tumble on you 1328 00:53:07,310 --> 00:53:10,689 Throw you like you were dice 1329 00:53:10,772 --> 00:53:12,691 Hey, guys. 1330 00:53:15,860 --> 00:53:17,862 Here we go. Whoop... 1331 00:53:17,946 --> 00:53:19,489 This is yours. 1332 00:53:19,572 --> 00:53:20,865 Can you tell I'm a professional? 1333 00:53:20,949 --> 00:53:21,866 Cheers. 1334 00:53:21,950 --> 00:53:23,493 Bartender: Happy New Year. 1335 00:53:23,576 --> 00:53:25,537 '82, rock on. 1336 00:53:27,122 --> 00:53:29,290 Ah, that's really good. 1337 00:53:29,374 --> 00:53:33,253 So, no. The answer to the unspoken question. 1338 00:53:33,336 --> 00:53:35,463 I won't be serving Mai Tais my whole life. 1339 00:53:35,547 --> 00:53:38,258 Tell me about it. I'm a secretary. 1340 00:53:38,341 --> 00:53:40,719 That's nothing. I'm a waitress. 1341 00:53:40,802 --> 00:53:41,720 That's great. 1342 00:53:41,803 --> 00:53:43,721 What would you rather be doing? 1343 00:53:43,722 --> 00:53:47,517 Um... well, I'm in my third year of law school. 1344 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,060 Law school? 1345 00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:51,520 You're kidding. 1346 00:53:51,563 --> 00:53:53,148 Bridget: You mean you're not an artist? 1347 00:53:53,189 --> 00:53:54,690 No. As a matter of fact, I'm not kidding. 1348 00:53:54,691 --> 00:53:57,152 My dad's a lawyer, and turns out 1349 00:53:57,235 --> 00:53:59,404 I picked up a little bit of a knack for the thing 1350 00:53:59,487 --> 00:54:00,696 off the old man, and-- 1351 00:54:00,697 --> 00:54:03,116 I mean, that's only what I wanna do short term 1352 00:54:03,199 --> 00:54:05,410 before I get out and play the market full-time. 1353 00:54:05,493 --> 00:54:08,163 That and buying and selling converted co-op properties. 1354 00:54:08,246 --> 00:54:10,248 Condos is something that I'm gonna get into. 1355 00:54:10,331 --> 00:54:11,600 You know, you gotta ride this wave. 1356 00:54:11,624 --> 00:54:12,708 This is Reaganomics. 1357 00:54:12,709 --> 00:54:14,836 This is the time to invest, prime the pump. 1358 00:54:14,919 --> 00:54:16,629 I'm kind of nervous. Can you tell? 1359 00:54:16,713 --> 00:54:17,713 It's the first time 1360 00:54:17,714 --> 00:54:19,066 I've ever been on a date with girls. 1361 00:54:19,090 --> 00:54:20,008 It's kind of cool. 1362 00:54:20,091 --> 00:54:21,217 Do you guys like to dance, 1363 00:54:21,301 --> 00:54:22,421 or do you like Devo or what? 1364 00:54:22,469 --> 00:54:24,220 You know what? I mean, those outfits 1365 00:54:24,304 --> 00:54:25,679 really feature you guys well. 1366 00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:26,680 They're really sexy. 1367 00:54:26,681 --> 00:54:28,224 My clothes and those clothes 1368 00:54:28,308 --> 00:54:29,428 would look good on my floor. 1369 00:54:29,476 --> 00:54:31,186 Seriously. 1370 00:54:31,269 --> 00:54:32,270 By the way, 1371 00:54:32,353 --> 00:54:33,581 how do you like your eggs in the morning? 1372 00:54:33,605 --> 00:54:34,688 Scrambled or fertilized? 1373 00:54:34,689 --> 00:54:35,899 No. I'm kidding. That's a joke. 1374 00:54:38,109 --> 00:54:39,527 I can't believe I'm letting you 1375 00:54:39,611 --> 00:54:41,696 drag me back into this skank pit. 1376 00:54:41,738 --> 00:54:43,698 I'm gonna go find Tony. 1377 00:54:43,740 --> 00:54:44,908 Yeah, OK. 1378 00:54:53,041 --> 00:54:54,041 All right. 1379 00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:57,711 I can't believe you let him French you. 1380 00:54:57,712 --> 00:54:59,714 Will you grow up already? 1381 00:55:14,646 --> 00:55:15,729 Hey! Hey! 1382 00:55:15,730 --> 00:55:18,274 I thought you were giving that package to your friend. 1383 00:55:18,358 --> 00:55:20,276 Yeah. He went to a party on Avenue "D." 1384 00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:22,278 We have to go meet him there. 1385 00:55:22,362 --> 00:55:23,279 - What? - Cool. 1386 00:55:23,363 --> 00:55:24,280 Wanna dance? 1387 00:55:24,364 --> 00:55:25,281 Yeah. Sure. 1388 00:55:25,365 --> 00:55:27,742 Did you say "D," "D" like dog? 1389 00:55:38,211 --> 00:55:39,211 Whoo! 1390 00:55:42,674 --> 00:55:44,050 I'm getting out of here. 1391 00:55:44,133 --> 00:55:45,343 Val! Val! 1392 00:55:45,426 --> 00:55:46,760 Find romance 1393 00:55:46,761 --> 00:55:47,804 Val! 1394 00:55:47,887 --> 00:55:51,474 Start the dance 1395 00:55:51,558 --> 00:55:54,227 Find romance 1396 00:55:54,310 --> 00:55:55,311 Val! 1397 00:55:55,436 --> 00:55:58,022 Val! 1398 00:56:15,039 --> 00:56:18,501 In boogie wonderland 1399 00:56:18,585 --> 00:56:20,753 Boogie wonderland 1400 00:56:22,005 --> 00:56:24,048 You say your prayers 1401 00:56:24,132 --> 00:56:26,885 And don't, you don't care 1402 00:56:26,968 --> 00:56:30,762 You dance and shake your hands 1403 00:56:30,763 --> 00:56:33,600 In boogie wonderland 1404 00:56:33,683 --> 00:56:36,769 Boogie wonderland 1405 00:56:39,522 --> 00:56:44,402 I mean, we're not talking physical oddity here, right? 1406 00:56:44,485 --> 00:56:47,405 I mean, the dimensions that we're speaking of, 1407 00:56:47,488 --> 00:56:50,283 they're well within the standard range 1408 00:56:50,366 --> 00:56:52,577 of normal human proportions. 1409 00:56:52,660 --> 00:56:53,912 It's not that. 1410 00:56:53,995 --> 00:56:56,539 Oh, the time I fell asleep. 1411 00:56:56,623 --> 00:56:58,749 Woman, I was tired. 1412 00:56:58,750 --> 00:57:00,793 I mean, I'm only human, for Christ's sake. 1413 00:57:00,835 --> 00:57:02,711 It wasn't that either, OK? 1414 00:57:02,712 --> 00:57:04,839 Well, what then? 1415 00:57:04,923 --> 00:57:09,010 What was so horrible that you never even gave me a chance? 1416 00:57:09,093 --> 00:57:12,013 I mean, a person can make progress, you know. 1417 00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,722 I mean, there's techniques you can learn 1418 00:57:13,723 --> 00:57:15,308 and books you can buy. 1419 00:57:15,391 --> 00:57:17,268 No. I don't think that would've helped. 1420 00:57:17,352 --> 00:57:21,064 So I'm hopeless? That's it. I'm hopeless. 1421 00:57:21,147 --> 00:57:22,731 You still have your work. 1422 00:57:22,732 --> 00:57:26,486 Oh! My work! My work! 1423 00:57:26,569 --> 00:57:28,237 Of course. Thank you. 1424 00:57:28,321 --> 00:57:31,741 Thank you. I feel fantastic now. 1425 00:57:31,824 --> 00:57:36,913 Eric, look, some things just can't be helped, you know? 1426 00:57:36,996 --> 00:57:38,790 Yep. I understand. 1427 00:57:38,873 --> 00:57:41,376 You bring me over here, and you tell me 1428 00:57:41,459 --> 00:57:43,002 I'm the worst lover you ever had. 1429 00:57:43,086 --> 00:57:45,296 And now you tell me it can't be helped. 1430 00:57:45,380 --> 00:57:49,217 Look, I'm sorry that what's-her-face dumped you. 1431 00:57:49,300 --> 00:57:50,969 OK? And I'm sorry 1432 00:57:51,052 --> 00:57:53,221 that you're so bad in bed. I really am. 1433 00:57:53,304 --> 00:57:54,763 But most of all, I'm sorry 1434 00:57:54,764 --> 00:57:57,183 that I decided to throw this atrocity, 1435 00:57:57,266 --> 00:58:00,269 this nightmarish ordeal of a New Year's party 1436 00:58:00,353 --> 00:58:01,770 because this is breaking me, Eric. 1437 00:58:01,771 --> 00:58:04,440 Do you understand me? This party is breaking me. 1438 00:58:04,565 --> 00:58:05,733 Nnhh! 1439 00:58:08,361 --> 00:58:10,029 You don't have to get so emotional. 1440 00:58:10,113 --> 00:58:12,281 I mean, it's not that bad. 1441 00:58:12,365 --> 00:58:13,741 It's not that bad? 1442 00:58:15,576 --> 00:58:17,745 It's not that bad? 1443 00:58:17,787 --> 00:58:22,291 Eric, we are standing here with one hostess 1444 00:58:22,375 --> 00:58:25,378 who's on the verge of hysteria 1445 00:58:25,461 --> 00:58:30,383 and one guest--one guest-- who spent the entire evening 1446 00:58:30,466 --> 00:58:32,719 coming to terms with his sexual problems, OK? 1447 00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:34,761 That's it! That's my party! 1448 00:58:34,762 --> 00:58:36,889 Happy fucking New Year! 1449 00:58:39,767 --> 00:58:40,685 How could I have been so stupid? 1450 00:58:40,768 --> 00:58:41,728 Wait up. 1451 00:58:41,769 --> 00:58:42,769 Of course Ellie's gonna show up tonight, 1452 00:58:42,770 --> 00:58:43,730 given that it's the worst possible thing 1453 00:58:43,771 --> 00:58:45,440 that could happen. 1454 00:58:45,523 --> 00:58:46,792 I'm never gonna forgive you for this, Lucy. 1455 00:58:46,816 --> 00:58:48,335 It's not my fault your girlfriend caught us 1456 00:58:48,359 --> 00:58:49,736 making out in a bathroom stall. 1457 00:58:49,777 --> 00:58:50,796 You know, I didn't hear any complaints 1458 00:58:50,820 --> 00:58:52,006 when your hands were up my dress! 1459 00:58:52,030 --> 00:58:53,215 You know, this is a big joke to you, 1460 00:58:53,239 --> 00:58:55,324 but this is my life. You don't understand. 1461 00:58:55,408 --> 00:58:56,802 You should be thanking me for helping you 1462 00:58:56,826 --> 00:58:58,786 sever a totally unhealthy relationship. 1463 00:58:58,870 --> 00:58:59,871 Thanking you? My life 1464 00:58:59,954 --> 00:59:01,515 is totally screwed up now because of you. 1465 00:59:01,539 --> 00:59:04,417 Your life has been totally dark, evil, and nihilistic 1466 00:59:04,542 --> 00:59:05,710 since the day I met you! 1467 00:59:05,752 --> 00:59:06,711 It never gets any better. 1468 00:59:06,753 --> 00:59:07,813 You're so depressed, Kevin. 1469 00:59:07,837 --> 00:59:09,481 The only reason I keep you around as my friend 1470 00:59:09,505 --> 00:59:10,858 is because you make my life look great 1471 00:59:10,882 --> 00:59:11,799 by comparison. 1472 00:59:11,883 --> 00:59:13,593 Oh, thank you. What a humanitarian! 1473 00:59:13,676 --> 00:59:14,760 Your life's a rose! 1474 00:59:14,761 --> 00:59:16,137 Maybe I should leave. 1475 00:59:17,764 --> 00:59:20,099 Maybe you should! 1476 00:59:21,309 --> 00:59:23,519 Where you going? 1477 00:59:23,603 --> 00:59:26,064 To find that bartender. 1478 00:59:26,147 --> 00:59:27,773 The bartender? Well, that's just perfect. 1479 00:59:27,774 --> 00:59:28,691 Give him my regards. 1480 00:59:28,775 --> 00:59:30,651 I will. Fuck you! 1481 00:59:30,735 --> 00:59:32,320 Fuck you! 1482 00:59:32,403 --> 00:59:33,529 Just remember, I was the one 1483 00:59:33,613 --> 00:59:36,657 that wanted to stay home tonight, Lucy. 1484 00:59:52,673 --> 00:59:53,591 Oh! 1485 00:59:53,674 --> 00:59:54,967 Jack, what are you doing? 1486 00:59:55,051 --> 00:59:56,552 Nothing. I just, uh... 1487 00:59:57,637 --> 00:59:58,721 Mm... 1488 01:00:05,812 --> 01:00:07,271 Mm. 1489 01:00:15,822 --> 01:00:17,781 Hey, you OK over there? 1490 01:00:17,782 --> 01:00:19,783 Wow... 1491 01:00:19,784 --> 01:00:21,119 OK, let's go now. 1492 01:00:21,202 --> 01:00:22,036 Oh. 1493 01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:24,747 I guess I was wrong about tonight 1494 01:00:24,789 --> 01:00:26,415 turning out to be so terrible. 1495 01:00:26,499 --> 01:00:28,709 Yeah. Maybe. But let's just go to the party, OK? 1496 01:00:28,793 --> 01:00:30,086 No. Jack, I mean, 1497 01:00:30,169 --> 01:00:32,713 I think I'm falling in love with you. 1498 01:00:32,797 --> 01:00:33,797 What? 1499 01:00:33,798 --> 01:00:37,468 I mean, I... I think I'm in love with you. 1500 01:00:37,552 --> 01:00:39,803 Oh... not again. 1501 01:00:39,804 --> 01:00:41,139 What do you mean "not again"? 1502 01:00:41,222 --> 01:00:42,942 Look, don't do this, OK? Just don't do this. 1503 01:00:43,015 --> 01:00:44,350 You don't even know me. 1504 01:00:44,433 --> 01:00:47,811 But I like you, and I thought you liked me. 1505 01:00:47,812 --> 01:00:49,772 Yeah. I do like you. I like you a lot. 1506 01:00:49,814 --> 01:00:52,150 But I like a lot of people. See? 1507 01:00:54,235 --> 01:00:55,611 Yeah, I see. 1508 01:00:55,695 --> 01:00:57,381 Oh, come on, don't be like that. Look, Cheryl... 1509 01:00:57,405 --> 01:00:58,906 Cindy! 1510 01:00:58,990 --> 01:01:02,243 My name is Cindy! 1511 01:01:02,326 --> 01:01:03,536 Right. I know. I'm sorry. 1512 01:01:03,619 --> 01:01:04,828 Who's Cheryl? 1513 01:01:04,829 --> 01:01:07,206 She's--wh--Th-- it doesn't matter. 1514 01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:08,916 You're in love with this Cheryl person? 1515 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,918 No! No. I'm not in love with anybody. 1516 01:01:11,002 --> 01:01:13,921 That's the point. The whole topic makes me uncomfortable. 1517 01:01:14,005 --> 01:01:15,548 Look, let's just forget everything, 1518 01:01:15,631 --> 01:01:17,550 and we'll go to the party. OK? Come on. 1519 01:01:17,633 --> 01:01:18,800 Go to the party with me. 1520 01:01:18,801 --> 01:01:19,801 Be careful on the ice. 1521 01:01:19,802 --> 01:01:21,554 I wouldn't go to that party with you 1522 01:01:21,637 --> 01:01:23,472 if you were the last man on Earth. 1523 01:01:23,556 --> 01:01:24,765 Come on, don't do this, Cindy. 1524 01:01:24,807 --> 01:01:26,267 Oh, go to hell! Aah! 1525 01:01:26,350 --> 01:01:29,478 Aah, aah, oh, God. 1526 01:01:29,562 --> 01:01:31,230 Oh, my God! 1527 01:01:31,314 --> 01:01:33,733 Oh... God! 1528 01:01:33,774 --> 01:01:34,774 You all right? 1529 01:01:34,775 --> 01:01:38,778 No! I think I landed in a big pile of dog shit! 1530 01:01:38,779 --> 01:01:39,989 Eww! 1531 01:01:40,072 --> 01:01:41,115 Eww! 1532 01:01:43,784 --> 01:01:45,785 Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed. 1533 01:01:45,786 --> 01:01:47,288 It's not that bad. Really. 1534 01:01:47,371 --> 01:01:49,040 It's not that bad. 1535 01:01:49,123 --> 01:01:51,751 Oh, leave me alone! 1536 01:01:51,792 --> 01:01:53,793 Jesus, I hate you. 1537 01:01:53,794 --> 01:01:55,795 You're just such a big phony! 1538 01:01:55,796 --> 01:01:58,299 It's like you're not nice at all! 1539 01:01:58,382 --> 01:01:59,759 I never said I was nice. 1540 01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:00,800 You're the one who kept going on all night 1541 01:02:00,801 --> 01:02:01,928 about how nice I was. 1542 01:02:02,011 --> 01:02:04,430 Oh, you're so conceited! 1543 01:02:04,513 --> 01:02:05,765 What are you talking about? 1544 01:02:05,806 --> 01:02:07,642 You think I haven't noticed? 1545 01:02:07,725 --> 01:02:11,145 I mean, ever since you found out I was a virgin 1546 01:02:11,229 --> 01:02:12,688 before last night, 1547 01:02:12,772 --> 01:02:15,149 you've been hounding me for a reason why. 1548 01:02:15,233 --> 01:02:16,776 Why did I choose you? 1549 01:02:16,859 --> 01:02:18,778 What was it about you? You, you, you! 1550 01:02:18,861 --> 01:02:20,363 That's all you care about! 1551 01:02:20,446 --> 01:02:21,781 I was curious. 1552 01:02:21,822 --> 01:02:25,952 Listen, you think there was something special about you? 1553 01:02:26,035 --> 01:02:29,788 Well, guess what? It could've been anybody. 1554 01:02:29,789 --> 01:02:31,165 Yeah, that's right. 1555 01:02:31,249 --> 01:02:32,667 You were just there. 1556 01:02:32,750 --> 01:02:34,794 I would have gone home with anybody last night. 1557 01:02:34,835 --> 01:02:37,380 I just wanted to get it over with. 1558 01:02:37,463 --> 01:02:38,798 It could've been anybody! 1559 01:02:38,839 --> 01:02:40,675 OK, date's over. Look, why don't we 1560 01:02:40,758 --> 01:02:42,110 just end this date right here, OK? 1561 01:02:42,134 --> 01:02:43,134 That's fine with me. 1562 01:02:43,177 --> 01:02:44,238 We'll both go home, and if we're lucky, 1563 01:02:44,262 --> 01:02:45,447 we'll never have to see each other again. 1564 01:02:45,471 --> 01:02:46,389 Sounds perfect. 1565 01:02:46,472 --> 01:02:47,682 Great. Wanna share a cab? 1566 01:02:47,765 --> 01:02:48,683 Fine! 1567 01:02:48,766 --> 01:02:49,766 Fine. 1568 01:02:52,144 --> 01:02:54,689 I bet that Cheryl person hates you, too. 1569 01:02:54,772 --> 01:02:56,691 Yeah. Her and every other woman in New York. 1570 01:02:56,774 --> 01:02:58,276 Taxi! 1571 01:02:58,526 --> 01:03:02,154 So common, so typical, so similar! 1572 01:03:02,238 --> 01:03:04,824 You men are so similar in your mediocrity. 1573 01:03:04,907 --> 01:03:06,909 You're like a pack of Philistines! 1574 01:03:06,993 --> 01:03:09,829 These matches are disappointing me! 1575 01:03:09,870 --> 01:03:11,414 Here you go, baby. 1576 01:03:11,497 --> 01:03:14,417 I can't be babied, but thank you. 1577 01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:15,418 You see what I did? 1578 01:03:15,501 --> 01:03:16,835 I said thank you. That's courtesy. 1579 01:03:16,836 --> 01:03:19,547 And courtesy and manners are what women know. 1580 01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:21,173 Men, you get into a relationship, 1581 01:03:21,257 --> 01:03:22,841 and the woman is so willing 1582 01:03:22,842 --> 01:03:25,803 to sublimate her needs to guide her man 1583 01:03:25,845 --> 01:03:28,931 through the important signposts of life, lovingly. 1584 01:03:29,015 --> 01:03:30,558 Very lovingly. 1585 01:03:30,641 --> 01:03:33,477 And then you turn your back for 24 hours 1586 01:03:33,561 --> 01:03:35,479 and you go into a public restroom, 1587 01:03:35,563 --> 01:03:38,607 and there he is, making out with another woman! 1588 01:03:38,691 --> 01:03:40,276 Do you see what I'm saying? 1589 01:03:40,359 --> 01:03:41,527 Oh, I feel you. 1590 01:03:41,610 --> 01:03:44,697 And who do I have to blame? I have myself to blame 1591 01:03:44,780 --> 01:03:47,074 because I've dated enough narcissistically neurotic men 1592 01:03:47,158 --> 01:03:51,120 to know that you are all just a pack of roaming babies 1593 01:03:51,203 --> 01:03:52,830 in search of a giant teat 1594 01:03:52,872 --> 01:03:55,791 from which to suck the life blood out of me 1595 01:03:55,833 --> 01:03:57,668 until I'm a hollow shell. 1596 01:03:59,420 --> 01:04:00,338 What? 1597 01:04:00,421 --> 01:04:02,173 Well, baby, all this talk about teats 1598 01:04:02,256 --> 01:04:03,896 just made me think I should say something. 1599 01:04:03,924 --> 01:04:05,843 Uh, I'm sensing a lot of hostility 1600 01:04:05,926 --> 01:04:07,178 coming from the back seat. 1601 01:04:07,261 --> 01:04:09,472 Oh, really? That's very astute. 1602 01:04:09,555 --> 01:04:10,824 Well, that's not good for me, man. 1603 01:04:10,848 --> 01:04:12,141 That kind of energy 1604 01:04:12,224 --> 01:04:14,185 damages the plush interior of my cab, right? 1605 01:04:14,268 --> 01:04:16,854 And you're blowing a $5.00 high, mama. 1606 01:04:16,937 --> 01:04:18,522 You need to find yourself a man 1607 01:04:18,606 --> 01:04:20,733 who's secure enough to appreciate you 1608 01:04:20,816 --> 01:04:23,277 for the superior woman that you are. 1609 01:04:23,361 --> 01:04:24,779 I like a strong woman. 1610 01:04:24,820 --> 01:04:26,447 Oh... yeah. Mm-hmm. 1611 01:04:26,530 --> 01:04:28,366 And you are a strong woman. 1612 01:04:28,449 --> 01:04:30,785 If I was you, I would pull over with me 1613 01:04:30,826 --> 01:04:32,220 and celebrate our strength together. 1614 01:04:32,244 --> 01:04:34,622 What do you think about that, baby? 1615 01:04:34,705 --> 01:04:35,998 This corner's great. 1616 01:04:36,082 --> 01:04:38,501 This corner's fantastic for me. 1617 01:04:38,584 --> 01:04:39,895 Well, let's do that. I didn't know you wanted 1618 01:04:39,919 --> 01:04:41,836 to pull over so soon, but I'll tell you what, 1619 01:04:41,837 --> 01:04:43,547 do you wanna make slow, passionate love, 1620 01:04:43,631 --> 01:04:44,900 or should I leave the meter running? 1621 01:04:44,924 --> 01:04:46,550 Baby? Baby? 1622 01:04:47,802 --> 01:04:49,637 Baby actually left. 1623 01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:52,056 Mm, mm, mm. 1624 01:04:52,139 --> 01:04:54,850 Now, let me see. Did I smile? 1625 01:04:56,102 --> 01:04:57,978 I must not have smiled. That's what it was. 1626 01:04:58,062 --> 01:05:00,189 Bridget: That was a total waste of time. 1627 01:05:00,272 --> 01:05:03,192 Really, law school. That is so yuppie. 1628 01:05:03,275 --> 01:05:04,402 Do you believe him going on 1629 01:05:04,485 --> 01:05:05,611 about real estate all night? 1630 01:05:05,694 --> 01:05:06,861 What is it with guys 1631 01:05:06,862 --> 01:05:08,256 where they think you give a shit about their stuff? 1632 01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:09,323 Oh! There he is. 1633 01:05:10,825 --> 01:05:13,744 Bridget: You think this is too mean ditching him this way? 1634 01:05:16,414 --> 01:05:19,874 Caitlyn: Please, the law school thing is bad enough, 1635 01:05:19,875 --> 01:05:22,877 but what's with the cowboy shirt and the gladiator hair? 1636 01:05:22,878 --> 01:05:24,255 Bridget: Really. 1637 01:05:24,338 --> 01:05:26,881 Oh, and you might want to try a new approach. 1638 01:05:26,882 --> 01:05:28,342 This whole thing with the matchbooks 1639 01:05:28,426 --> 01:05:29,427 is so predictable. 1640 01:05:29,510 --> 01:05:31,387 What do you expect? I'm under a deadline. 1641 01:05:31,470 --> 01:05:33,180 What time is it anyway? 1642 01:05:34,265 --> 01:05:35,808 Oh, my God. 1643 01:05:35,850 --> 01:05:36,809 - What? - We've got an hour. 1644 01:05:36,851 --> 01:05:38,185 An hour? Are you serious? 1645 01:05:38,269 --> 01:05:39,186 Come on! 1646 01:05:39,270 --> 01:05:40,270 Wait a minute. 1647 01:05:43,232 --> 01:05:44,775 The last thing-- 1648 01:05:44,859 --> 01:05:46,193 The last day of 81. 1649 01:05:46,277 --> 01:05:48,112 I don't care 1650 01:05:50,322 --> 01:05:51,323 I don't care 1651 01:05:51,407 --> 01:05:53,451 We don't care 1652 01:05:53,534 --> 01:05:54,952 I don't care 1653 01:05:55,035 --> 01:05:56,912 About this world 1654 01:05:56,996 --> 01:05:58,330 I don't care 1655 01:05:58,414 --> 01:06:00,874 About that girl 1656 01:06:00,875 --> 01:06:02,626 I don't care 1657 01:06:22,271 --> 01:06:25,483 Eric: Oh, yeah. that's good. 1658 01:06:25,566 --> 01:06:27,193 Oh, that's so good. 1659 01:06:28,819 --> 01:06:30,779 You see, it's all in the technique. 1660 01:06:30,821 --> 01:06:34,575 Most people, they underestimate the importance 1661 01:06:34,658 --> 01:06:36,160 of the rotational thrust. 1662 01:06:37,828 --> 01:06:39,413 Eric, you're hurting my skin. 1663 01:06:39,497 --> 01:06:41,081 Well, that's just great! 1664 01:06:41,165 --> 01:06:42,082 Ow! 1665 01:06:42,166 --> 01:06:43,709 You know, I don't think I'm the one 1666 01:06:43,792 --> 01:06:44,834 with the problem here, Monica. 1667 01:06:44,835 --> 01:06:45,920 I think it's you. 1668 01:06:46,003 --> 01:06:47,837 I think you're blaming me for being bad in bed 1669 01:06:47,838 --> 01:06:50,716 because you're clearly stunted in some way physically. 1670 01:06:50,799 --> 01:06:53,177 It's not my fault you're an emotional cripple. 1671 01:06:53,260 --> 01:06:56,055 Well, that's so typical of a woman. 1672 01:06:56,138 --> 01:06:59,225 It's all about emotions and intimacy... 1673 01:06:59,308 --> 01:07:02,811 and feelings and all that vague ambiguous bullshit! 1674 01:07:02,853 --> 01:07:05,064 It's sex. That's it! 1675 01:07:05,147 --> 01:07:07,857 Two people in a bed getting off! 1676 01:07:07,858 --> 01:07:11,861 Not some ethereal thing out there to embrace humanity. 1677 01:07:11,862 --> 01:07:14,907 Look, you wanted to know why you were bad in bed, 1678 01:07:14,990 --> 01:07:16,158 and I told you. 1679 01:07:16,242 --> 01:07:17,867 You don't have to bite my head off 1680 01:07:17,868 --> 01:07:19,245 just because you're inadequate. 1681 01:07:19,328 --> 01:07:21,622 Oh, now I'm inadequate. 1682 01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:22,623 Mm-hmm. 1683 01:07:22,706 --> 01:07:23,958 You think I'm inadequate? 1684 01:07:24,041 --> 01:07:25,125 Yeah. 1685 01:07:25,209 --> 01:07:28,629 Well, you just take that god-awful dress off, 1686 01:07:28,712 --> 01:07:30,381 and I'll show you who's adequate, honey. 1687 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,051 What are you doing? 1688 01:07:34,134 --> 01:07:36,886 1 I'm gonna prove you wrong. That's right. 1689 01:07:36,887 --> 01:07:40,140 I'm gonna have you on your hands and knees 1690 01:07:40,224 --> 01:07:43,185 begging for mercy. 1691 01:07:44,603 --> 01:07:46,021 Oh, my God! 1692 01:07:46,105 --> 01:07:48,649 Are you insane? 1693 01:07:51,902 --> 01:07:55,155 Jesus, there's nobody here yet? 1694 01:07:55,239 --> 01:07:57,241 Uh, Eric's here. 1695 01:07:57,324 --> 01:08:00,369 Eric, right. Hi. 1696 01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:01,911 Hi, I'm Hillary. 1697 01:08:01,912 --> 01:08:05,249 I just love your flowers. 1698 01:08:05,332 --> 01:08:06,250 My what? 1699 01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:08,919 Your, you know, your flowers. 1700 01:08:12,923 --> 01:08:15,718 Jesus, you scared me half to death. 1701 01:08:17,344 --> 01:08:18,928 Wanna beer? 1702 01:08:18,929 --> 01:08:21,890 What are you still doing with that package? 1703 01:08:21,932 --> 01:08:24,268 I thought we were getting out of here already. 1704 01:08:24,351 --> 01:08:25,894 Yeah, well, Tony's not here yet, 1705 01:08:25,936 --> 01:08:28,897 so we'll just stick around and see if he shows up. 1706 01:08:28,939 --> 01:08:29,898 Great. 1707 01:08:29,940 --> 01:08:32,860 Man, that's a cool party, huh? 1708 01:08:32,901 --> 01:08:34,987 It's retarded. I wanna leave. 1709 01:08:35,070 --> 01:08:37,864 Oh, yeah? Well, where do you want to go? 1710 01:08:37,865 --> 01:08:39,867 Ronkonkoma. 1711 01:08:39,950 --> 01:08:41,118 What? 1712 01:08:41,243 --> 01:08:42,911 You know, Ronkonkoma. 1713 01:08:42,995 --> 01:08:45,539 Yeah, well, it's on Long Island. 1714 01:08:45,623 --> 01:08:46,915 Long Island, huh? 1715 01:08:46,999 --> 01:08:49,501 I'm from Jersey. 1716 01:08:49,585 --> 01:08:51,462 Congratulations. 1717 01:08:51,545 --> 01:08:52,545 Yeah. 1718 01:08:54,298 --> 01:08:56,842 So, uh, can I ask you a question? 1719 01:08:56,884 --> 01:08:58,218 It's a free country. 1720 01:08:58,302 --> 01:08:59,886 Well, did Val say something to you about me? 1721 01:08:59,887 --> 01:09:01,888 Because I thought we were really hitting if off there 1722 01:09:01,889 --> 01:09:02,889 for a while. 1723 01:09:02,890 --> 01:09:04,891 I mean, it felt like she really liked me, 1724 01:09:04,892 --> 01:09:09,104 you know, and, now she's in there making out with Dave, 1725 01:09:09,188 --> 01:09:11,315 and I'm just wondering, I mean, 1726 01:09:11,398 --> 01:09:13,901 did I do something to offend her? 1727 01:09:15,194 --> 01:09:16,737 You know how it is. 1728 01:09:19,073 --> 01:09:20,324 Yeah. 1729 01:09:20,407 --> 01:09:22,327 It's like when I first met Val, though, you know, 1730 01:09:22,409 --> 01:09:24,495 I was like--whoa! This is the one! 1731 01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:26,913 This is the one. Because the thing with Val is, 1732 01:09:26,914 --> 01:09:28,082 you know, she's different. 1733 01:09:28,165 --> 01:09:31,126 I mean, she's just like this little girl, 1734 01:09:31,168 --> 01:09:32,252 and I, you know, 1735 01:09:32,336 --> 01:09:33,855 I wanted to, like, I wanted to get near her, 1736 01:09:33,879 --> 01:09:34,981 and I wanted to be with her, 1737 01:09:35,005 --> 01:09:37,966 you know, her big eyes, her big, round head, you know. 1738 01:09:38,050 --> 01:09:41,220 I just thought maybe, you know, I was falling in... 1739 01:09:41,303 --> 01:09:43,222 I mean, you know, maybe this is... 1740 01:09:44,473 --> 01:09:46,850 I don't know. I mean... 1741 01:09:46,892 --> 01:09:49,436 All right, you probably think it's really jerky, huh? 1742 01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:53,440 Sayin' somethin' 'cause I just met her. 1743 01:09:53,524 --> 01:09:55,275 Look, can I tell you something here? 1744 01:09:55,359 --> 01:09:58,821 Because this is like the worst night of my life, OK? 1745 01:09:58,904 --> 01:10:01,240 I mean, I'm standing here in a basement 1746 01:10:01,323 --> 01:10:02,574 on fucking Avenue "D," 1747 01:10:02,658 --> 01:10:04,243 so I'm sorry if you're having troubles 1748 01:10:04,326 --> 01:10:06,370 finding the right girl and everything. 1749 01:10:06,453 --> 01:10:08,247 But I'm just trying to get the fuck home 1750 01:10:08,330 --> 01:10:10,082 before somebody kills me, all right? 1751 01:10:10,165 --> 01:10:12,917 All right. 1752 01:10:12,918 --> 01:10:14,920 Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. 1753 01:10:18,799 --> 01:10:20,509 Please 1754 01:10:20,592 --> 01:10:23,762 Don't let this feeling end 1755 01:10:23,846 --> 01:10:27,057 It may not come again 1756 01:10:27,141 --> 01:10:32,896 And I want to remember 1757 01:10:32,938 --> 01:10:39,445 How it feels to touch you 1758 01:10:39,486 --> 01:10:44,491 How I feel so much 1759 01:10:44,575 --> 01:10:51,582 Since I found you 1760 01:10:51,665 --> 01:10:58,380 Looking through the eyes of love 1761 01:11:13,896 --> 01:11:15,939 I got you some flowers. 1762 01:11:20,903 --> 01:11:22,780 Uh, mind if I sit down? 1763 01:11:22,863 --> 01:11:24,072 I'm with someone. 1764 01:11:24,156 --> 01:11:25,616 Wh-- 1765 01:11:25,699 --> 01:11:26,700 You're with someone? 1766 01:11:26,784 --> 01:11:28,619 You understand. 1767 01:11:28,702 --> 01:11:29,828 What, the bartender? 1768 01:11:29,912 --> 01:11:30,912 He's in the bathroom. 1769 01:11:30,913 --> 01:11:32,164 He's going to be right back. 1770 01:11:32,247 --> 01:11:34,291 You know what? You should just go home. 1771 01:11:34,374 --> 01:11:35,292 That's what you wanted to do. 1772 01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:36,668 Just go home 1773 01:11:36,752 --> 01:11:38,462 and don't worry about me, 1774 01:11:38,545 --> 01:11:41,840 'cause I'm set for the night. 1775 01:11:41,924 --> 01:11:43,925 Look, you just met this guy. 1776 01:11:43,926 --> 01:11:44,926 So? 1777 01:11:44,927 --> 01:11:45,927 So don't you think 1778 01:11:45,928 --> 01:11:46,928 it seems a little sudden 1779 01:11:46,929 --> 01:11:47,929 or something to be-- 1780 01:11:47,930 --> 01:11:49,181 You are much 1781 01:11:49,264 --> 01:11:51,141 more judgmental between girlfriends. 1782 01:11:51,225 --> 01:11:53,435 - Have you ever noticed that, Kevin? - Fine. All right. 1783 01:11:53,519 --> 01:11:55,663 You want to throw yourself at some guy you just met, it's your business. 1784 01:11:55,687 --> 01:11:57,564 I'm going home. 1785 01:11:57,648 --> 01:11:58,899 Oh. 1786 01:11:59,942 --> 01:12:00,942 There. 1787 01:12:00,943 --> 01:12:02,110 Thanks. 1788 01:12:02,194 --> 01:12:03,403 OK. Look-- 1789 01:12:03,487 --> 01:12:04,404 What? 1790 01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:05,405 The thing is-- What I-- 1791 01:12:05,489 --> 01:12:06,657 what I want to say, 1792 01:12:06,740 --> 01:12:08,659 what I'm-- 1793 01:12:09,743 --> 01:12:10,953 Yes? 1794 01:12:12,204 --> 01:12:14,706 Yes, Kevin? 1795 01:12:14,790 --> 01:12:15,957 Let's do it. 1796 01:12:15,958 --> 01:12:16,958 What? 1797 01:12:16,959 --> 01:12:18,043 I think we should do it. 1798 01:12:18,126 --> 01:12:20,212 You've got to be kidding. 1799 01:12:20,295 --> 01:12:21,481 I'm serious. I think we should 1800 01:12:21,505 --> 01:12:22,548 go back to the coffee shop 1801 01:12:22,631 --> 01:12:25,467 and... just... do it. 1802 01:12:25,551 --> 01:12:26,871 What do you say? Come on. You in? 1803 01:12:26,927 --> 01:12:29,971 You know what? I can't just leave the bartender. 1804 01:12:29,972 --> 01:12:30,972 It's my birthday. 1805 01:12:30,973 --> 01:12:32,367 We're practically obligated to do it. 1806 01:12:32,391 --> 01:12:33,809 You said so yourself. 1807 01:12:33,892 --> 01:12:36,061 Come on. 1808 01:12:36,144 --> 01:12:38,313 I dare you. 1809 01:12:38,397 --> 01:12:41,191 I dare you to fuck me. 1810 01:13:06,383 --> 01:13:07,968 Ain't no big thing 1811 01:13:08,010 --> 01:13:09,261 Cabbie: Mmm, mmm, mmm. 1812 01:13:09,344 --> 01:13:12,556 To wait for the bell to ring 1813 01:13:12,639 --> 01:13:15,976 Deep thing. Tain't no big thing 1814 01:13:16,018 --> 01:13:18,395 The toll of the bell 1815 01:13:18,478 --> 01:13:19,622 Hillary: Do you mean to tell me 1816 01:13:19,646 --> 01:13:20,939 she actually broke up with you 1817 01:13:20,981 --> 01:13:21,981 on New Year's Eve? 1818 01:13:21,982 --> 01:13:23,734 Eric: I--I was flabbergasted. 1819 01:13:23,817 --> 01:13:24,961 Well, obviously she was threatened 1820 01:13:24,985 --> 01:13:26,320 by your creativity. 1821 01:13:26,445 --> 01:13:27,863 Your work, it's so brilliant, 1822 01:13:27,905 --> 01:13:29,072 so powerful. 1823 01:13:29,156 --> 01:13:30,073 You think so? 1824 01:13:30,157 --> 01:13:31,283 Oh, absolutely. 1825 01:13:31,366 --> 01:13:33,952 What other reason could there be? 1826 01:13:34,036 --> 01:13:35,579 See, I--I've always been fascinated 1827 01:13:35,662 --> 01:13:37,080 by the female form. 1828 01:13:37,164 --> 01:13:38,081 Oh. 1829 01:13:38,165 --> 01:13:39,166 Take you, Hillary. 1830 01:13:39,249 --> 01:13:40,685 You would make a wonderful artist's model. 1831 01:13:40,709 --> 01:13:42,586 You have an almost perfect symmetry. 1832 01:13:42,628 --> 01:13:43,587 I've been working out. 1833 01:13:43,629 --> 01:13:44,880 Ohh, I can see that. 1834 01:13:45,923 --> 01:13:48,842 You really seem to understand my thrust. 1835 01:13:48,926 --> 01:13:50,844 I guess I do. 1836 01:13:50,928 --> 01:13:52,929 I can't believe I almost went home earlier. 1837 01:13:52,930 --> 01:13:54,765 I feel exactly the same way. 1838 01:13:54,848 --> 01:13:56,600 Can I get you another drink? 1839 01:13:56,683 --> 01:13:58,727 Hillary, you should come down to the studio 1840 01:13:58,810 --> 01:13:59,895 and take a look at my work 1841 01:13:59,937 --> 01:14:00,938 before my next show. 1842 01:14:01,021 --> 01:14:04,941 Really? I mean, of course. 1843 01:14:04,942 --> 01:14:05,942 Great. 1844 01:14:10,197 --> 01:14:11,406 Taxi! 1845 01:14:11,490 --> 01:14:12,908 Oh, great. Just drive right past me 1846 01:14:12,950 --> 01:14:14,660 like I'm not even here. 1847 01:14:14,743 --> 01:14:15,845 Look, can I just say something? 1848 01:14:15,869 --> 01:14:17,079 I'm not speaking to you, Jack. 1849 01:14:17,162 --> 01:14:18,562 I think you'll feel a little better 1850 01:14:18,622 --> 01:14:21,750 if you hear me out. 1851 01:14:21,833 --> 01:14:23,811 Look, what happened between us last night is, like, 1852 01:14:23,835 --> 01:14:24,961 this ongoing problem with me. 1853 01:14:24,962 --> 01:14:26,129 It--It happens all the time. 1854 01:14:26,213 --> 01:14:27,964 I meet someone, we go home together, 1855 01:14:27,965 --> 01:14:29,883 but then the next day, it's... 1856 01:14:29,967 --> 01:14:31,134 What? Next day what? 1857 01:14:31,218 --> 01:14:32,219 Well, they tell me that 1858 01:14:32,302 --> 01:14:33,342 suddenly they've developed 1859 01:14:33,387 --> 01:14:35,222 these feelings for me. 1860 01:14:35,305 --> 01:14:36,640 W-What are you saying? 1861 01:14:36,723 --> 01:14:38,350 That every woman you go home with 1862 01:14:38,433 --> 01:14:39,873 falls in love with you or something? 1863 01:14:39,935 --> 01:14:40,769 Yes. 1864 01:14:40,852 --> 01:14:42,604 It's like a curse. It never ends. 1865 01:14:42,688 --> 01:14:43,980 A woman falls in love with you 1866 01:14:43,981 --> 01:14:45,148 and you think that's a curse? 1867 01:14:45,232 --> 01:14:46,233 You have no idea. 1868 01:14:46,316 --> 01:14:48,235 No. I don't, 1869 01:14:48,276 --> 01:14:49,944 because I think you're lucky. 1870 01:14:49,945 --> 01:14:50,945 I mean, there are some people 1871 01:14:50,946 --> 01:14:51,946 who wait their entire lives 1872 01:14:51,947 --> 01:14:53,031 for somebody to tell them 1873 01:14:53,115 --> 01:14:54,449 they feel that way about them, 1874 01:14:54,533 --> 01:14:56,368 and you, you just throw it away 1875 01:14:56,451 --> 01:14:57,452 like it's nothing, 1876 01:14:57,536 --> 01:14:59,705 like it's a minor inconvenience. 1877 01:14:59,788 --> 01:15:02,833 Well, let me tell you something, Jack. 1878 01:15:02,916 --> 01:15:04,501 You are cursed, 1879 01:15:04,584 --> 01:15:06,503 just not the way you think you are. 1880 01:15:07,963 --> 01:15:09,965 Well, then how? 1881 01:15:11,967 --> 01:15:13,802 Good-bye, Jack. 1882 01:15:17,014 --> 01:15:18,015 Where you going? 1883 01:15:20,100 --> 01:15:22,227 Taxi. 1884 01:15:22,310 --> 01:15:23,895 Cindy, wait. 1885 01:15:23,979 --> 01:15:24,896 You can't leave. 1886 01:15:24,980 --> 01:15:26,982 You got dog shit on your back. 1887 01:15:28,150 --> 01:15:30,068 Your dress. 1888 01:15:34,364 --> 01:15:36,616 Fuck me. 1889 01:15:41,121 --> 01:15:42,748 Will you hurry up? 1890 01:15:42,831 --> 01:15:44,350 There's got to be a cab around here somewhere. 1891 01:15:44,374 --> 01:15:45,834 I can't. I can't go on. 1892 01:15:45,917 --> 01:15:48,211 No, listen to me. Listen to me. 1893 01:15:48,253 --> 01:15:49,337 I'm getting to that party. 1894 01:15:49,463 --> 01:15:50,797 Do you understand me? 1895 01:15:50,922 --> 01:15:53,133 It's my only hope, thanks to you. 1896 01:15:53,216 --> 01:15:54,384 Excuse me? 1897 01:15:54,468 --> 01:15:55,468 I know it's not much, 1898 01:15:55,510 --> 01:15:57,220 but at least Eric will be there. 1899 01:15:57,304 --> 01:15:58,304 Eric? 1900 01:15:58,346 --> 01:16:00,891 Oh, you want Eric? Fine. I'll take 1901 01:16:00,974 --> 01:16:02,809 the bartender/lawyer/real estate guy. 1902 01:16:02,893 --> 01:16:04,311 Taxi. 1903 01:16:04,394 --> 01:16:05,312 Lady. 1904 01:16:05,395 --> 01:16:06,688 He's all yours. 1905 01:16:06,772 --> 01:16:09,733 Get away from that cab. 1906 01:16:09,816 --> 01:16:11,860 We have an emergency. 1907 01:16:12,986 --> 01:16:15,697 Great Jones Street. 1908 01:16:15,781 --> 01:16:16,823 Oh, you know, baby, 1909 01:16:16,907 --> 01:16:18,384 you better tell me that when we get moving. 1910 01:16:18,408 --> 01:16:19,493 I'm a little intoxicated. 1911 01:16:19,576 --> 01:16:21,661 It's New Year's Eve. Ha ha. 1912 01:16:21,745 --> 01:16:22,995 I can't believe that you are so hard up 1913 01:16:22,996 --> 01:16:24,247 that you'd go for that lawyer. 1914 01:16:24,331 --> 01:16:25,371 I suppose now you want him 1915 01:16:25,415 --> 01:16:26,833 for yourself, huh? 1916 01:16:26,917 --> 01:16:28,585 You are so paranoid. 1917 01:16:28,668 --> 01:16:30,170 Or maybe you want Eric and the lawyer. 1918 01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:31,922 Is that it? 1919 01:16:32,005 --> 01:16:33,006 Hey, hey. 1920 01:16:33,048 --> 01:16:35,008 Please--Please don't touch me. 1921 01:16:35,050 --> 01:16:36,218 Too much hostility. 1922 01:16:36,301 --> 01:16:38,010 Can you just get the car to move? 1923 01:16:38,011 --> 01:16:39,322 You know, baby, in life, sometimes 1924 01:16:39,346 --> 01:16:42,265 you got to stay still to move forward. 1925 01:16:42,349 --> 01:16:44,017 What? 1926 01:16:44,059 --> 01:16:45,894 Would you like a cigarette? 1927 01:16:45,977 --> 01:16:46,978 Yeah. 1928 01:16:47,020 --> 01:16:48,021 Yeah, come on. 1929 01:16:48,105 --> 01:16:49,105 Here you go. 1930 01:16:51,024 --> 01:16:52,067 You know, this song 1931 01:16:52,150 --> 01:16:53,735 always reminds me 1932 01:16:53,819 --> 01:16:56,321 of me and my buddy Twain. 1933 01:16:56,404 --> 01:16:58,990 Twain was my best friend a few years back, 1934 01:16:59,116 --> 01:17:01,284 till we fell in love with the same girl. 1935 01:17:01,368 --> 01:17:04,079 Mmm. Pretty girl. Foxy. 1936 01:17:04,162 --> 01:17:06,665 Anyway, Twain was the smooth one. 1937 01:17:06,748 --> 01:17:08,142 You know, I was a shy little knuckle-head kid. 1938 01:17:08,166 --> 01:17:09,668 I had no Afro back then, 1939 01:17:09,751 --> 01:17:10,669 so, you know, I wasn't-- 1940 01:17:10,752 --> 01:17:12,003 wasn't smooth. 1941 01:17:12,045 --> 01:17:15,382 Anyway, one night I went to a restaurant, 1942 01:17:15,465 --> 01:17:17,843 bump into Twain and the girl of my dreams 1943 01:17:17,926 --> 01:17:19,344 eating dinner. 1944 01:17:19,427 --> 01:17:20,446 I sat in the back of the restaurant 1945 01:17:20,470 --> 01:17:21,388 and watched them eat dinner 1946 01:17:21,471 --> 01:17:22,848 all goddamn night. 1947 01:17:22,931 --> 01:17:25,015 First they had a little finger food, 1948 01:17:25,016 --> 01:17:27,310 wine, cheese, the whole thing, 1949 01:17:27,394 --> 01:17:28,704 and the whole time I'm sitting over there, 1950 01:17:28,728 --> 01:17:31,731 I said, I wish that that was me. 1951 01:17:31,815 --> 01:17:33,567 Next thing I know, 1952 01:17:33,650 --> 01:17:34,818 Twain bite into a string bean 1953 01:17:34,901 --> 01:17:35,944 and choked to death 1954 01:17:36,027 --> 01:17:37,027 right in the middle 1955 01:17:37,028 --> 01:17:39,029 of the goddamn restaurant. 1956 01:17:39,030 --> 01:17:40,532 Mmm. Hmm. 1957 01:17:40,615 --> 01:17:41,843 I always thought, it could've been me. 1958 01:17:41,867 --> 01:17:43,952 It should've been me. 1959 01:17:44,035 --> 01:17:45,745 This song always make me think about that. 1960 01:17:45,829 --> 01:17:47,037 Mmm. 1961 01:17:47,038 --> 01:17:49,124 Silky ho. I'll never forget her. 1962 01:17:49,207 --> 01:17:51,877 So what are you saying, love kills? 1963 01:17:52,961 --> 01:17:54,379 No. 1964 01:17:55,422 --> 01:17:56,440 He's saying we shouldn't fight 1965 01:17:56,464 --> 01:17:57,924 about these guys, 1966 01:17:58,008 --> 01:18:00,218 and personally, I think he's right. 1967 01:18:00,302 --> 01:18:01,469 Oh, I know I'm right, baby. 1968 01:18:01,553 --> 01:18:02,470 What if, for the sake 1969 01:18:02,554 --> 01:18:03,471 of our friendship, we just decided 1970 01:18:03,555 --> 01:18:05,724 to leave the party alone tonight? 1971 01:18:08,018 --> 01:18:09,019 You-- 1972 01:18:09,102 --> 01:18:10,978 you mean no guys at all? 1973 01:18:10,979 --> 01:18:12,731 That sounds much better, doesn't it? 1974 01:18:12,814 --> 01:18:14,399 Uh-huh. 1975 01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:15,692 You mean, we go home alone, 1976 01:18:15,775 --> 01:18:16,775 no guys at all, 1977 01:18:16,818 --> 01:18:17,837 even if it means we get jinxed 1978 01:18:17,861 --> 01:18:19,988 for the whole year? 1979 01:18:20,989 --> 01:18:22,008 That's the kind of sacrifice 1980 01:18:22,032 --> 01:18:25,160 I'm willing to make for our friendship. 1981 01:18:29,998 --> 01:18:30,999 Well, 1982 01:18:31,041 --> 01:18:32,083 OK. 1983 01:18:32,167 --> 01:18:33,167 OK. 1984 01:18:33,210 --> 01:18:34,211 OK. 1985 01:18:34,294 --> 01:18:36,588 What's happening in this cab right now 1986 01:18:36,671 --> 01:18:37,964 is beautiful. 1987 01:18:38,006 --> 01:18:39,049 It's beautiful. 1988 01:18:40,467 --> 01:18:41,927 Is there any way that you can 1989 01:18:42,010 --> 01:18:44,137 get this car to just move? 1990 01:18:44,221 --> 01:18:45,531 Is there any way you can get out the car 1991 01:18:45,555 --> 01:18:48,016 and, uh, move that truck for me? 1992 01:18:55,482 --> 01:18:56,775 Lucy: Kevin, don't. Don't. 1993 01:18:56,858 --> 01:18:58,401 Just stop it. 1994 01:18:58,526 --> 01:19:00,445 Stop it. 1995 01:19:01,529 --> 01:19:02,822 What? What? What? 1996 01:19:02,948 --> 01:19:05,283 What--What did I do? What's wrong? 1997 01:19:05,367 --> 01:19:07,953 I don't know. 1998 01:19:07,994 --> 01:19:10,163 I just-- I opened my eyes, and I-- 1999 01:19:10,247 --> 01:19:11,831 and I saw your face, 2000 01:19:11,915 --> 01:19:13,500 and I realized 2001 01:19:13,583 --> 01:19:15,043 I can't do this. 2002 01:19:15,126 --> 01:19:16,044 What? 2003 01:19:16,127 --> 01:19:17,504 You just saw my face 2004 01:19:17,587 --> 01:19:19,506 and realized you can't have sex with me? 2005 01:19:19,589 --> 01:19:20,632 I can't go on forever 2006 01:19:20,715 --> 01:19:22,425 having sex with people 2007 01:19:22,509 --> 01:19:24,094 who don't care about me. 2008 01:19:24,177 --> 01:19:26,346 And you just r-- 2009 01:19:26,429 --> 01:19:28,598 You just realized this now? 2010 01:19:28,682 --> 01:19:30,558 Yeah, 2011 01:19:30,642 --> 01:19:32,394 I did. 2012 01:19:41,194 --> 01:19:42,654 So all the years of empty, 2013 01:19:42,737 --> 01:19:43,905 meaningless sex 2014 01:19:43,989 --> 01:19:45,615 with countless strangers and bartenders, 2015 01:19:45,699 --> 01:19:47,032 that's great, that's fine, 2016 01:19:47,033 --> 01:19:48,201 but here, 2017 01:19:48,285 --> 01:19:50,035 now, 2018 01:19:50,036 --> 01:19:51,036 with me, 2019 01:19:51,037 --> 01:19:52,080 and bam, 2020 01:19:52,163 --> 01:19:53,349 you have an epiphany and you realize 2021 01:19:53,373 --> 01:19:55,000 you can't do it anymore? 2022 01:19:55,041 --> 01:19:56,376 Don't yell at me, Kevin. 2023 01:19:58,044 --> 01:19:59,146 You're fucked up, you know that? 2024 01:19:59,170 --> 01:20:01,046 I'm fucked up? I mean, 2025 01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:02,047 what are you? I mean, 2026 01:20:02,048 --> 01:20:03,133 w-what do you call somebody 2027 01:20:03,216 --> 01:20:04,134 who throws himself 2028 01:20:04,217 --> 01:20:05,337 into one doomed relationship 2029 01:20:05,385 --> 01:20:08,305 after the next when he could be with... 2030 01:20:08,388 --> 01:20:10,974 What? What? When I could be with what? 2031 01:20:14,894 --> 01:20:16,646 Thank you. 2032 01:20:19,065 --> 01:20:20,692 See you. 2033 01:20:33,830 --> 01:20:34,706 I can't go on. 2034 01:20:34,831 --> 01:20:36,040 This guy weighs a fucking ton. 2035 01:20:36,041 --> 01:20:38,042 I knew we should've left him behind. 2036 01:20:38,043 --> 01:20:39,586 Hold on. We're almost there. 2037 01:20:39,669 --> 01:20:40,980 Are you kidding? We're not almost there. 2038 01:20:42,005 --> 01:20:43,882 Did you guys hear those gunshots? 2039 01:20:43,965 --> 01:20:45,383 Just get him into a cab. 2040 01:20:45,467 --> 01:20:46,527 We can't just put him in a cab. 2041 01:20:46,551 --> 01:20:48,178 He ain't conscious. 2042 01:20:48,261 --> 01:20:49,637 Oh, aren't we concerned? 2043 01:20:49,721 --> 01:20:50,740 Look, he'll be all right, OK? 2044 01:20:50,764 --> 01:20:51,806 W-We'll pay the driver 2045 01:20:51,890 --> 01:20:52,807 and give him the address. 2046 01:20:52,891 --> 01:20:53,808 Does he got any money on him? 2047 01:20:53,892 --> 01:20:55,727 Yeah. In his wallet. 2048 01:20:57,062 --> 01:20:59,356 I'm not finding a wallet here. 2049 01:20:59,439 --> 01:21:00,732 Wait a minute. 2050 01:21:00,815 --> 01:21:02,400 Here it is. 2051 01:21:03,526 --> 01:21:04,819 Hey, there's no money in here. 2052 01:21:04,944 --> 01:21:06,321 Oh, well, that's just great. 2053 01:21:06,363 --> 01:21:07,923 I told you we should've left him behind. 2054 01:21:08,031 --> 01:21:10,032 God, Stephie, please. 2055 01:21:10,033 --> 01:21:11,409 I can't take it anymore. 2056 01:21:11,493 --> 01:21:13,161 All you do is complain. 2057 01:21:13,244 --> 01:21:14,579 I mean, Stephie, 2058 01:21:14,662 --> 01:21:15,765 have you ever thought to look 2059 01:21:15,789 --> 01:21:17,457 on the bright side of things, huh? 2060 01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:18,541 Did you ever think 2061 01:21:18,625 --> 01:21:20,105 that maybe you could have a good time 2062 01:21:20,168 --> 01:21:24,339 if you just shut your freakin' mouth for five seconds? 2063 01:21:24,422 --> 01:21:26,508 I mean, nothing's good enough for you. 2064 01:21:26,591 --> 01:21:27,634 God. 2065 01:21:27,717 --> 01:21:29,051 Oh, my God. 2066 01:21:29,052 --> 01:21:30,178 What? 2067 01:21:30,261 --> 01:21:32,013 This is the address I wrote down 2068 01:21:32,055 --> 01:21:33,055 for my cousin's party. 2069 01:21:33,056 --> 01:21:34,056 You're shitting me. 2070 01:21:34,057 --> 01:21:35,183 No way. This is totally 2071 01:21:35,266 --> 01:21:36,351 the right address. 2072 01:21:36,434 --> 01:21:37,434 Yes. We're saved. 2073 01:21:37,477 --> 01:21:38,478 Thank you, God. 2074 01:21:38,561 --> 01:21:40,313 We're going to the party. Come on. 2075 01:21:40,397 --> 01:21:41,314 Come on. 2076 01:21:41,398 --> 01:21:43,065 Dave, I'll catch up with you later. 2077 01:21:43,066 --> 01:21:44,818 Stephie: Come on, let's go to the party. 2078 01:21:57,956 --> 01:22:00,667 Elvis Costello: As I walk through 2079 01:22:00,750 --> 01:22:04,462 This wicked world 2080 01:22:04,546 --> 01:22:06,840 Searching for light 2081 01:22:06,965 --> 01:22:11,136 In the darkness of insanity 2082 01:22:11,219 --> 01:22:14,722 ask myself 2083 01:22:14,806 --> 01:22:17,892 Is all hope lost 2084 01:22:17,976 --> 01:22:19,519 Is there only 2085 01:22:19,602 --> 01:22:22,062 Pain and hatred 2086 01:22:22,063 --> 01:22:25,442 And misery 2087 01:22:25,525 --> 01:22:29,028 And each time I feel like this inside 2088 01:22:29,070 --> 01:22:33,073 There's one thing I want to know 2089 01:22:33,074 --> 01:22:34,284 What's so funny about 2090 01:22:34,367 --> 01:22:37,954 Peace, love and understanding 2091 01:22:38,037 --> 01:22:39,581 Oh 2092 01:22:39,664 --> 01:22:41,040 What's so funny about 2093 01:22:41,082 --> 01:22:45,336 Peace, love and understanding 2094 01:22:49,632 --> 01:22:52,093 Hush your mouth, baby. 2095 01:22:58,641 --> 01:23:01,478 And as I walk on 2096 01:23:01,603 --> 01:23:05,315 Through troubled times 2097 01:23:05,398 --> 01:23:09,152 My spirit gets so downhearted 2098 01:23:09,235 --> 01:23:12,322 Sometimes 2099 01:23:12,405 --> 01:23:15,783 So where are the strong 2100 01:23:15,867 --> 01:23:18,953 Who I've trusted 2101 01:23:19,037 --> 01:23:24,250 And where is that harmony 2102 01:23:24,334 --> 01:23:26,127 Sweet harmony 2103 01:23:26,211 --> 01:23:27,879 'Cause each time 2104 01:23:27,962 --> 01:23:30,173 I feel it slipping away 2105 01:23:30,256 --> 01:23:33,301 It just makes me want to cry 2106 01:23:33,384 --> 01:23:35,595 What's so funny-- 2107 01:23:35,678 --> 01:23:37,597 Hi. This must be it, huh? 2108 01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:39,432 Happy New Year. 2109 01:23:42,519 --> 01:23:44,479 All: Five... four... 2110 01:23:44,562 --> 01:23:47,899 three... two... one. 2111 01:23:48,107 --> 01:23:51,236 Happy New Year! 2112 01:24:06,751 --> 01:24:10,088 Ohh. 2113 01:24:10,171 --> 01:24:13,049 Oh, God. 2114 01:24:17,095 --> 01:24:19,305 Ow. Ow. 2115 01:24:27,897 --> 01:24:30,400 Jesus. 2116 01:24:30,483 --> 01:24:32,777 Hi. Hi, puppy. 2117 01:24:32,860 --> 01:24:34,320 Good dog. 2118 01:24:34,404 --> 01:24:36,114 Good dog. 2119 01:24:55,466 --> 01:24:56,466 Hey. 2120 01:24:58,136 --> 01:24:59,095 Wake up. 2121 01:24:59,137 --> 01:25:00,138 Huh? 2122 01:25:02,265 --> 01:25:04,141 Who the fuck are you? 2123 01:25:04,142 --> 01:25:05,142 I live here. 2124 01:25:05,143 --> 01:25:06,644 Who the fuck are you? 2125 01:25:06,728 --> 01:25:08,145 Oh, you're Monica. 2126 01:25:08,146 --> 01:25:09,522 Hi. I'm Stephie. 2127 01:25:09,606 --> 01:25:11,524 I'm a friend of your cousin Val's. 2128 01:25:11,608 --> 01:25:13,860 My cousin Val? From Ronkonkoma? 2129 01:25:13,943 --> 01:25:16,696 Yeah, yeah. She brought me here last night. 2130 01:25:16,779 --> 01:25:19,156 Oh, God. I'm so hung over. 2131 01:25:19,157 --> 01:25:21,451 I can't believe it. 2132 01:25:23,077 --> 01:25:25,288 M-My cousin Val from Ronkonkoma 2133 01:25:25,371 --> 01:25:27,080 was here last night? 2134 01:25:27,081 --> 01:25:28,081 Uh, yeah. 2135 01:25:28,082 --> 01:25:30,293 Her and about a million other people. 2136 01:25:31,628 --> 01:25:34,088 Well, that's great. 2137 01:25:35,089 --> 01:25:37,090 That's just great. 2138 01:25:37,091 --> 01:25:39,802 Everybody came and I missed it. 2139 01:25:40,970 --> 01:25:42,805 This is so cool. 2140 01:25:42,889 --> 01:25:44,097 Oh, and I called my parents, 2141 01:25:44,098 --> 01:25:45,098 and they want you to come over 2142 01:25:45,099 --> 01:25:46,099 for dinner tonight. 2143 01:25:46,100 --> 01:25:47,100 What? 2144 01:25:47,101 --> 01:25:48,203 No, it's cool, 'cause I told them 2145 01:25:48,227 --> 01:25:49,354 I slept on the sofa, 2146 01:25:49,437 --> 01:25:51,037 so you won't get in trouble for anything. 2147 01:25:51,105 --> 01:25:52,774 Trouble? How old are you exactly? 2148 01:25:52,857 --> 01:25:53,775 You know, 'cause you looked 2149 01:25:53,858 --> 01:25:54,859 a lot older last night. 2150 01:25:54,942 --> 01:25:56,694 Oh, will you relax? 2151 01:25:56,778 --> 01:25:58,446 I'm not telling no one. 2152 01:25:58,529 --> 01:26:00,281 It'll be our little secret, 2153 01:26:00,365 --> 01:26:01,783 like Romeo and Juliet. 2154 01:26:01,866 --> 01:26:03,034 Oh, my God. 2155 01:26:03,117 --> 01:26:04,117 You know, there's a reason 2156 01:26:04,118 --> 01:26:06,412 why I don't mind lying to my parents. 2157 01:26:06,496 --> 01:26:07,616 You want to know what it is? 2158 01:26:07,664 --> 01:26:08,998 I bet I know. 2159 01:26:09,082 --> 01:26:11,417 I bet you don't. 2160 01:26:11,501 --> 01:26:12,752 I love you. 2161 01:26:12,835 --> 01:26:13,836 Yeah. 2162 01:26:13,920 --> 01:26:15,380 Ohh. 2163 01:26:15,421 --> 01:26:16,923 Oh, and it's really cool, too, 2164 01:26:16,964 --> 01:26:19,509 because we can spend every weekend together, 2165 01:26:19,592 --> 01:26:20,927 and then in June, 2166 01:26:20,968 --> 01:26:23,095 you can come to my prom. 2167 01:26:23,096 --> 01:26:24,847 Shit, my friends 2168 01:26:24,931 --> 01:26:27,725 are going to be so jealous. 2169 01:26:28,810 --> 01:26:30,645 is gonna be, like, 2170 01:26:30,728 --> 01:26:32,980 the coolest year ever. 2171 01:26:36,109 --> 01:26:37,443 Eric: Oh, oh, oh, oh. 2172 01:26:37,527 --> 01:26:39,070 Oh, God. 2173 01:26:39,112 --> 01:26:41,113 Yes. Aah! 2174 01:26:41,114 --> 01:26:42,740 Oh, you love that. 2175 01:26:52,792 --> 01:26:53,710 So? 2176 01:26:53,793 --> 01:26:55,211 What? 2177 01:26:55,294 --> 01:26:56,504 You know, 2178 01:26:56,587 --> 01:26:58,798 was it... you know? 2179 01:26:58,881 --> 01:27:00,842 Oh, yeah. It was great. 2180 01:27:00,925 --> 01:27:01,843 Ha ha. I know. 2181 01:27:01,926 --> 01:27:04,137 Oh, jeez. Will you look at the time? 2182 01:27:07,265 --> 01:27:09,100 So do you want to get together later? 2183 01:27:09,142 --> 01:27:10,601 Oh, yeah, sure, 2184 01:27:10,685 --> 01:27:12,395 if I have time. 2185 01:27:12,478 --> 01:27:13,396 If you have time? 2186 01:27:13,479 --> 01:27:14,480 Well, you know, 2187 01:27:14,564 --> 01:27:15,564 I just started working 2188 01:27:15,606 --> 01:27:16,750 at this gallery and it's kind of 2189 01:27:16,774 --> 01:27:18,150 all-consuming right now, 2190 01:27:18,151 --> 01:27:20,486 but, if I have time, you know. 2191 01:27:20,570 --> 01:27:21,738 Well, uh, 2192 01:27:21,779 --> 01:27:23,257 to be perfectly honest with you, Hillary, 2193 01:27:23,281 --> 01:27:26,284 no, I don't know. 2194 01:27:26,367 --> 01:27:27,493 The band? What band? 2195 01:27:27,577 --> 01:27:29,704 There were--There were actual musicians here? 2196 01:27:29,787 --> 01:27:31,706 At my house? Playing at my party? 2197 01:27:31,789 --> 01:27:33,123 Here? At--At my party? 2198 01:27:33,124 --> 01:27:34,792 Yeah, yeah. 2199 01:27:34,876 --> 01:27:35,978 You know, I never heard of them, 2200 01:27:36,002 --> 01:27:37,127 but that don't mean much. 2201 01:27:37,128 --> 01:27:39,129 This guy with funny glasses, 2202 01:27:39,130 --> 01:27:41,799 Elvis something? 2203 01:27:41,883 --> 01:27:43,133 Elvis Costello? 2204 01:27:43,134 --> 01:27:44,594 Yeah, yeah. That's who it was. 2205 01:27:44,677 --> 01:27:47,013 Yeah, I heard he had a record out. 2206 01:27:48,097 --> 01:27:49,807 Elvis Costello... 2207 01:27:49,891 --> 01:27:51,642 the love of my life... 2208 01:27:51,726 --> 01:27:52,935 was here... 2209 01:27:53,019 --> 01:27:54,228 at my house... 2210 01:27:54,312 --> 01:27:55,688 singing at my party? 2211 01:27:55,772 --> 01:27:56,981 Yeah, yeah. 2212 01:27:57,064 --> 01:27:58,107 He was going on and on 2213 01:27:58,149 --> 01:27:59,192 about the crab dip, 2214 01:27:59,275 --> 01:28:01,027 asking around for the recipe. 2215 01:28:01,110 --> 01:28:03,111 Nobody had it. 2216 01:28:03,112 --> 01:28:05,114 It was off the box. 2217 01:28:06,199 --> 01:28:08,451 I could've told him that. 2218 01:28:08,534 --> 01:28:09,994 Look, 2219 01:28:10,077 --> 01:28:11,579 just tell me one thing. 2220 01:28:11,662 --> 01:28:14,373 I'm not a vain person. 2221 01:28:14,457 --> 01:28:17,543 Was the sex any good at all? 2222 01:28:17,627 --> 01:28:20,129 No. I'm sorry. It was bad. 2223 01:28:32,099 --> 01:28:33,099 Bridget: Hello. 2224 01:28:33,142 --> 01:28:35,061 Hey. So are you totally hung over? 2225 01:28:35,144 --> 01:28:37,438 No. I think I'm still drunk. 2226 01:28:37,522 --> 01:28:40,066 Oh, that's the worst. 2227 01:28:42,151 --> 01:28:43,151 So what'd you think about that party 2228 01:28:43,152 --> 01:28:44,152 last night? 2229 01:28:44,153 --> 01:28:46,154 Mmm. Do you believe 2230 01:28:46,155 --> 01:28:48,825 that lawyer-bartender guy showed up? 2231 01:28:48,908 --> 01:28:49,992 He wasn't so bad. 2232 01:28:50,076 --> 01:28:51,094 I mean, he was really nice 2233 01:28:51,118 --> 01:28:52,262 about us ditching him and all that. 2234 01:28:52,286 --> 01:28:53,579 Are you crazy? 2235 01:28:53,663 --> 01:28:55,248 What a disappointing party. 2236 01:28:55,331 --> 01:28:57,375 Those guys were such total posers. 2237 01:28:57,458 --> 01:28:59,168 I'm so glad we decided to go home alone. 2238 01:28:59,293 --> 01:29:00,711 Oh. 2239 01:29:00,795 --> 01:29:02,170 Want to go for breakfast? 2240 01:29:02,171 --> 01:29:04,715 Um... 2241 01:29:04,799 --> 01:29:07,260 No. Maybe lunch? 2242 01:29:07,343 --> 01:29:08,427 Oh. 2243 01:29:08,511 --> 01:29:10,012 I got to go. 2244 01:29:10,096 --> 01:29:12,181 Give it to me, baby 2245 01:29:14,183 --> 01:29:16,602 Hey. 2246 01:29:16,686 --> 01:29:18,521 Guess who reloaded, baby. 2247 01:29:18,604 --> 01:29:21,899 Give it to me Give it to me 2248 01:29:21,983 --> 01:29:23,401 Give me your stuff that sweet-- 2249 01:29:23,484 --> 01:29:25,069 I mean, 2250 01:29:25,152 --> 01:29:26,194 at least they showed up, 2251 01:29:26,195 --> 01:29:27,697 right? I mean, 2252 01:29:27,822 --> 01:29:29,031 at least I don't have to spend 2253 01:29:29,115 --> 01:29:30,032 the rest of my life 2254 01:29:30,116 --> 01:29:31,157 thinking I have no friends 2255 01:29:31,158 --> 01:29:32,869 and everybody hates me. 2256 01:29:32,952 --> 01:29:35,161 Right? That's something, right? 2257 01:29:35,162 --> 01:29:37,081 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2258 01:29:37,164 --> 01:29:38,433 Listen, do you got any Alka-Seltzer? 2259 01:29:38,457 --> 01:29:39,750 I got to meet this guy Tony 2260 01:29:39,834 --> 01:29:41,167 for breakfast. 2261 01:29:41,168 --> 01:29:42,879 It's in the bathroom. 2262 01:29:42,962 --> 01:29:44,380 Thanks. 2263 01:29:58,185 --> 01:29:59,562 Ohh. 2264 01:30:00,938 --> 01:30:03,608 Ohh. 2265 01:30:03,691 --> 01:30:06,193 Mmm. 2266 01:30:19,165 --> 01:30:21,292 Oh, God. 2267 01:30:23,294 --> 01:30:25,588 Where are my fucking glasses? 2268 01:30:25,671 --> 01:30:28,841 Oh, no. Not again. 2269 01:30:28,966 --> 01:30:29,842 Elvis? 2270 01:30:46,025 --> 01:30:48,152 All right. 2271 01:30:51,989 --> 01:30:55,159 So, uh, can I call you later? 2272 01:30:55,201 --> 01:30:58,161 You mean, like, later today? 2273 01:30:58,162 --> 01:30:59,162 Uh, yeah, unless-- 2274 01:30:59,163 --> 01:31:00,390 unless you think that's too jerky. 2275 01:31:00,414 --> 01:31:01,654 Is that too jerky or something? 2276 01:31:01,707 --> 01:31:02,750 No. No, 2277 01:31:02,833 --> 01:31:04,001 I don't think it's too jerky. 2278 01:31:04,085 --> 01:31:05,378 You don't? 2279 01:31:05,461 --> 01:31:08,047 Uh-uh. 2280 01:31:08,130 --> 01:31:11,425 OK, good. You know, uh, 2281 01:31:11,509 --> 01:31:13,135 because, 2282 01:31:13,177 --> 01:31:15,554 you know, I--I really like you a lot, 2283 01:31:15,638 --> 01:31:16,555 you know, as, 2284 01:31:16,639 --> 01:31:19,225 like, I like you a lot. 2285 01:31:19,308 --> 01:31:20,226 You do? 2286 01:31:20,309 --> 01:31:21,309 Yeah. 2287 01:31:22,937 --> 01:31:24,039 I mean, I don't think that you need 2288 01:31:24,063 --> 01:31:25,540 a lot of time to know something like that. 2289 01:31:25,564 --> 01:31:27,024 You know, you just-- 2290 01:31:27,108 --> 01:31:28,191 You know, when you know it, 2291 01:31:28,192 --> 01:31:30,611 you know, when it happens, you know it, 2292 01:31:30,695 --> 01:31:32,321 and I know it. 2293 01:31:32,405 --> 01:31:33,322 You know what I mean? 2294 01:31:33,406 --> 01:31:34,406 Yeah. 2295 01:31:34,448 --> 01:31:36,367 Yeah. So do I. 2296 01:31:42,540 --> 01:31:44,165 So... 2297 01:31:44,166 --> 01:31:46,167 we should go to dinner tonight? 2298 01:31:46,168 --> 01:31:47,420 You want to? 2299 01:31:47,503 --> 01:31:49,171 OK. 2300 01:32:04,979 --> 01:32:07,815 You're going to think this is crazy, but... 2301 01:32:09,191 --> 01:32:11,192 I think I'm falling in love with you. 2302 01:32:14,030 --> 01:32:15,197 I-- 2303 01:32:15,281 --> 01:32:18,034 No, I don't think you're crazy. 2304 01:32:34,967 --> 01:32:36,969 Hey, man, you smell dog shit? 2305 01:32:43,350 --> 01:32:44,852 Did you know that cigarettes 2306 01:32:44,935 --> 01:32:46,729 are a shield against meaningful interaction 2307 01:32:46,812 --> 01:32:48,814 with other people? 2308 01:32:51,150 --> 01:32:53,360 It's true. I read it. 2309 01:32:54,862 --> 01:32:57,281 People protect themselves emotionally 2310 01:32:57,364 --> 01:32:58,908 by relating to their cigarettes 2311 01:32:58,991 --> 01:33:00,826 instead of each other. 2312 01:33:05,206 --> 01:33:06,349 That's what struck me last night 2313 01:33:06,373 --> 01:33:07,291 watching all those people 2314 01:33:07,374 --> 01:33:08,918 standing around with their cigarettes. 2315 01:33:09,001 --> 01:33:10,211 Why is everyone so afraid? 2316 01:33:10,252 --> 01:33:12,212 Why are people so scared of each other? 2317 01:33:12,213 --> 01:33:13,213 Like us? 2318 01:33:13,214 --> 01:33:14,590 No. We've never been anything 2319 01:33:14,673 --> 01:33:16,801 but totally honest with each other. 2320 01:33:16,884 --> 01:33:18,219 Them. 2321 01:33:19,220 --> 01:33:22,473 More than this 2322 01:33:22,556 --> 01:33:26,644 You know there's nothing 2323 01:33:26,727 --> 01:33:29,605 More than this 2324 01:33:29,688 --> 01:33:32,232 Anyway, I think it's time to quit smoking. 2325 01:33:32,233 --> 01:33:33,984 Mm-hmmm. 2326 01:33:34,068 --> 01:33:35,778 More than this 2327 01:33:35,861 --> 01:33:37,237 Lucy: So then you'll get grumpy 2328 01:33:37,238 --> 01:33:38,405 and cranky and fat, 2329 01:33:38,447 --> 01:33:40,198 and you'll whine, and you'll bitch, 2330 01:33:40,199 --> 01:33:42,200 and you'll lose all your inspiration, 2331 01:33:42,201 --> 01:33:43,869 and you're gonna blame me. 2332 01:33:44,203 --> 01:33:44,954 Cabbie: Although I went 2333 01:33:45,037 --> 01:33:46,580 to a crazy New Year's Eve party, 2334 01:33:46,664 --> 01:33:48,290 after I put the cab up, I mean. 2335 01:33:48,374 --> 01:33:49,834 I got pictures. Look here. 2336 01:33:49,917 --> 01:33:51,669 Now these two girls in this picture, 2337 01:33:51,752 --> 01:33:53,563 oh, I couldn't understand a damn thing they said, 2338 01:33:53,587 --> 01:33:56,214 a-and where in the hell is Ronkokomano? 2339 01:33:56,215 --> 01:33:57,215 Now this guy here, 2340 01:33:57,216 --> 01:33:58,259 he's a famous necrophiliac 2341 01:33:58,342 --> 01:33:59,385 with a album. 2342 01:33:59,468 --> 01:34:00,570 He kept dragging a dead girl 2343 01:34:00,594 --> 01:34:02,220 around the party. It was real weird. 2344 01:34:02,221 --> 01:34:03,365 Look at his eyes, man. He crazy. 2345 01:34:03,389 --> 01:34:05,223 Look at her. Dead, dead, dead. 2346 01:34:05,224 --> 01:34:06,392 This dude right here I call, 2347 01:34:06,475 --> 01:34:07,893 "vagina puppet man," 2348 01:34:07,977 --> 01:34:09,227 'cause he kept making vagina puppets 2349 01:34:09,228 --> 01:34:10,228 with his hands, 2350 01:34:10,229 --> 01:34:11,414 but he's a real talented fella. 2351 01:34:11,438 --> 01:34:13,231 I mean, I see big things in his future, 2352 01:34:13,232 --> 01:34:15,317 'cause there's a market for vaginas. 2353 01:34:15,401 --> 01:34:16,485 Oh, this girl right here 2354 01:34:16,569 --> 01:34:18,154 keeps feeding people little weenies, 2355 01:34:18,237 --> 01:34:19,738 but I think she want a weenie herself, 2356 01:34:19,822 --> 01:34:21,073 if you know what I'm saying. 2357 01:34:21,157 --> 01:34:22,366 Uh, now this little girl here, 2358 01:34:22,449 --> 01:34:23,677 I picked her up earlier that night, too. 2359 01:34:23,701 --> 01:34:25,243 It's a small city, ain't it? 2360 01:34:25,244 --> 01:34:26,871 That must be the guy she was telling me 2361 01:34:26,954 --> 01:34:28,455 she was so nervous about being with. 2362 01:34:28,539 --> 01:34:30,016 Just when he started making a little headway, 2363 01:34:30,040 --> 01:34:30,958 wouldn't you know, 2364 01:34:31,041 --> 01:34:32,081 one of the ugliest bitches 2365 01:34:32,126 --> 01:34:34,003 I've ever seen in my life rolled up, 2366 01:34:34,086 --> 01:34:35,546 and I'm not one to call women ugly, 2367 01:34:35,629 --> 01:34:36,797 but I think this woman was, 2368 01:34:36,881 --> 01:34:39,133 because she had a penis. 2369 01:34:39,216 --> 01:34:40,258 Oh, there's Dutch boy 2370 01:34:40,259 --> 01:34:42,218 with, uh, the girl from, Rankakomano. 2371 01:34:42,219 --> 01:34:43,238 I ain't going to call her young, 2372 01:34:43,262 --> 01:34:44,322 but I'm going to tell you this, 2373 01:34:44,346 --> 01:34:45,574 I bet you she write a couple love letters 2374 01:34:45,598 --> 01:34:47,099 in crayons here and there. 2375 01:34:47,183 --> 01:34:48,559 There I go. There I go. 2376 01:34:48,642 --> 01:34:49,560 I'm having fun right here. 2377 01:34:49,643 --> 01:34:50,561 Almost having fun, 2378 01:34:50,644 --> 01:34:51,979 and here go my man right here. 2379 01:34:52,062 --> 01:34:53,229 Remember him? This guy would not 2380 01:34:53,230 --> 01:34:54,230 listen to me, man. 2381 01:34:54,231 --> 01:34:55,191 He got two girls, 2382 01:34:55,232 --> 01:34:56,751 don't know what to do with either of them. 2383 01:34:56,775 --> 01:34:57,693 You see, big girl right here 2384 01:34:57,776 --> 01:34:58,694 wasn't having that. 2385 01:34:58,777 --> 01:34:59,838 She got into it with little girl 2386 01:34:59,862 --> 01:35:00,779 right there, 2387 01:35:00,863 --> 01:35:02,114 and next thing I know, 2388 01:35:02,198 --> 01:35:04,199 he's rolling with big girl, 2389 01:35:04,200 --> 01:35:05,200 but dig this, right? 2390 01:35:05,201 --> 01:35:06,869 Little girl scored with the necrophiliac. 2391 01:35:06,952 --> 01:35:08,454 Thank God he brought a live one home, 2392 01:35:08,537 --> 01:35:09,914 if you know what I'm saying. 2393 01:35:09,997 --> 01:35:12,875 Now this guy is hungry for love or something, 2394 01:35:12,958 --> 01:35:14,209 and then who walks over 2395 01:35:14,210 --> 01:35:16,212 but my little girl pretty in pink, 2396 01:35:16,253 --> 01:35:17,856 and it looks like he found what he wanted, 2397 01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:20,215 that is until her nose started bleeding. 2398 01:35:20,216 --> 01:35:21,217 Then they was hugging, 2399 01:35:21,300 --> 01:35:22,885 then they was smiling, 2400 01:35:22,968 --> 01:35:24,094 then they was kissing. 2401 01:35:24,178 --> 01:35:26,221 Now I think I'm more pages away from ecstasy, 2402 01:35:26,222 --> 01:35:27,348 if you know what I'm saying. 2403 01:35:27,431 --> 01:35:28,641 Oh, the guy in the middle, 2404 01:35:28,724 --> 01:35:30,225 that's the guy from Happy Days. 2405 01:35:30,226 --> 01:35:31,518 I met him, got his autograph 2406 01:35:31,602 --> 01:35:33,646 and everything. Uh, Potsy. 2407 01:35:33,729 --> 01:35:34,897 The people was dancing, 2408 01:35:34,980 --> 01:35:35,898 they was laughing, 2409 01:35:35,981 --> 01:35:37,358 if that party got any crazier, 2410 01:35:37,441 --> 01:35:39,151 I bet you Rick James would've walked 2411 01:35:39,235 --> 01:35:40,503 right through the door. Look at this party. 2412 01:35:40,527 --> 01:35:42,237 These pictures here, I'm keeping forever. 2413 01:35:42,238 --> 01:35:44,114 They make me happy, 'cause they remind me, 2414 01:35:44,198 --> 01:35:45,198 if you relax, 2415 01:35:45,199 --> 01:35:47,117 you can have a good time, baby, 2416 01:35:47,201 --> 01:35:49,495 even if you smell like dog shit. 2417 01:35:49,578 --> 01:35:50,704 See, in the end, 2418 01:35:50,788 --> 01:35:52,790 everybody got what they was looking for, 2419 01:35:52,873 --> 01:35:54,500 a little love, 2420 01:35:54,583 --> 01:35:56,209 and I got what I was looking for, 2421 01:35:56,210 --> 01:35:57,253 a little booty. 2422 01:35:57,336 --> 01:35:59,004 You can see it in my eyes. 2423 01:35:59,088 --> 01:36:01,215 That's my booty look right there. 2424 01:36:23,487 --> 01:36:27,199 ♪ Wall to wall 2425 01:36:27,241 --> 01:36:31,245 People hypnotized 2426 01:36:31,287 --> 01:36:34,373 And they're stepping 2427 01:36:34,456 --> 01:36:36,792 Lightly 2428 01:36:36,875 --> 01:36:40,129 Hang each night 2429 01:36:40,212 --> 01:36:46,135 In rapture 2430 01:36:49,805 --> 01:36:52,266 She moves like she don't care 2431 01:36:52,349 --> 01:36:55,269 Smooth as silk, cool as air 2432 01:36:55,352 --> 01:36:59,940 oh, it makes you want to cry 2433 01:37:01,317 --> 01:37:04,236 She doesn't know your name 2434 01:37:04,278 --> 01:37:07,614 And your heart beats like a subway train 2435 01:37:07,698 --> 01:37:12,119 oh, it makes you want to die 2436 01:37:13,704 --> 01:37:17,291 oh, don't you wanna take her 2437 01:37:20,502 --> 01:37:24,089 Wanna make her all your own 2438 01:37:25,341 --> 01:37:27,593 Maria 2439 01:37:27,676 --> 01:37:30,095 You've gotta see her 2440 01:37:31,305 --> 01:37:37,227 Go insane and out of your mind 2441 01:37:37,269 --> 01:37:39,605 Regina 2442 01:37:39,688 --> 01:37:42,149 Ave Maria 2443 01:37:43,359 --> 01:37:48,155 A million and one candlelights 2444 01:37:48,238 --> 01:37:50,908 There's no sin in this 2445 01:37:50,991 --> 01:37:52,241 Gettin' dressed to kill 2446 01:37:52,242 --> 01:37:54,703 Laughin' down the sun like a jackal will 2447 01:37:54,787 --> 01:37:57,498 With his eyes ablaze and his lips apart 2448 01:37:57,581 --> 01:38:00,249 He's gonna fill his cup with the love in your heart 2449 01:38:00,250 --> 01:38:03,379 And drink it up till the morning starts 2450 01:38:03,462 --> 01:38:05,005 Circulate the red light vistas 2451 01:38:05,089 --> 01:38:06,255 Get the girls then get their sisters 2452 01:38:06,256 --> 01:38:07,800 Pinch 'em up and give 'em blisters 2453 01:38:07,883 --> 01:38:10,219 Kiss 'em fierce with all his might forever 2454 01:38:10,260 --> 01:38:11,595 Ever, ever 2455 01:38:11,678 --> 01:38:14,390 Standing on the verge on the edge of the ledge 2456 01:38:14,473 --> 01:38:16,225 Waitin' for me to fall 2457 01:38:16,266 --> 01:38:17,601 Then I gotta call that said 2458 01:38:17,684 --> 01:38:19,603 Wait, homed-up homie you must be trippin' 2459 01:38:19,686 --> 01:38:21,605 You can be puttin' that sippin' and whippin' 2460 01:38:21,688 --> 01:38:23,816 Up in your bippin' you better stand tall 2461 01:38:23,899 --> 01:38:25,609 Fool, you was born to ball 2462 01:38:25,692 --> 01:38:28,612 Took a little fall and now you want to end it all 2463 01:38:33,700 --> 01:38:36,285 Yo, rock this and slam dance to this 2464 01:38:36,286 --> 01:38:39,288 Move back when you see us in the mosh pits 2465 01:38:39,289 --> 01:38:41,290 Smash some, we might have female rap stompin' 2466 01:38:41,291 --> 01:38:43,836 Crack more heads over them backs 2467 01:38:43,919 --> 01:38:46,046 You and your man floated Tales from the Crypt 2468 01:38:46,130 --> 01:38:47,524 Rocky Horror couldn't pitch it away 2469 01:38:47,548 --> 01:38:48,632 Come on 2470 01:38:48,715 --> 01:38:50,175 Get your goosebumps tinglin' 2471 01:38:50,217 --> 01:38:52,177 Out of the darkness spark this 2472 01:38:52,219 --> 01:38:54,471 Total chaos marked skin the hardest 2473 01:38:54,513 --> 01:38:57,224 Nothing could save us all that is sacred 2474 01:38:57,266 --> 01:39:00,227 Dearly departed Brave heart slave contained 2475 01:39:00,269 --> 01:39:02,479 Something courageous The road rats explode 2476 01:39:02,563 --> 01:39:04,106 New rigors that devour 2477 01:39:04,189 --> 01:39:06,483 Don't cry for me I'm proud, drunk off the power 2478 01:39:06,567 --> 01:39:07,985 The power, the power 2479 01:39:08,068 --> 01:39:11,280 Who's gonna cry 2480 01:39:11,363 --> 01:39:12,948 For ya 2481 01:39:13,031 --> 01:39:16,410 Who's gonna cry 2482 01:39:16,493 --> 01:39:17,953 Over you 2483 01:39:18,036 --> 01:39:20,497 You think you're infamous Mark remains untamed 2484 01:39:20,581 --> 01:39:23,167 And you out for the cash like you out for the fame 2485 01:39:23,250 --> 01:39:25,377 Lay back on the stack down the Kodiak 2486 01:39:25,461 --> 01:39:27,713 Right in my rap's head Hold that 2487 01:39:27,796 --> 01:39:29,590 Look out We saw the sound blast 2488 01:39:29,673 --> 01:39:31,550 But none heard the sound of the blast 2489 01:39:31,633 --> 01:39:33,093 The man's out of control 2490 01:39:33,177 --> 01:39:34,302 The system bounced back 2491 01:39:34,303 --> 01:39:35,929 But he cracked up Verbal assault 2492 01:39:36,013 --> 01:39:37,305 Quick to lash out 2493 01:39:37,306 --> 01:39:38,849 You're stunned momentarily dropped 2494 01:39:38,932 --> 01:39:40,267 Seconds after 2495 01:39:40,309 --> 01:39:42,644 Then when you least expect it 2496 01:39:42,686 --> 01:39:44,813 You understand there is no exit 2497 01:39:44,897 --> 01:39:46,231 Hey, yo 2498 01:39:46,273 --> 01:39:49,610 Who's gonna cry 2499 01:39:49,693 --> 01:39:51,487 For ya 2500 01:39:51,570 --> 01:39:54,238 Who's gonna cry 2501 01:40:02,247 --> 01:40:06,210 Two dozen other dirty lovers 2502 01:40:06,251 --> 01:40:09,588 Must be a sucker for it 2503 01:40:09,671 --> 01:40:13,217 Cracked up but I don't need my mother 2504 01:40:13,258 --> 01:40:16,220 Just hold my hand while I come 2505 01:40:16,261 --> 01:40:18,597 To a decision on it 2506 01:40:20,682 --> 01:40:22,226 Sooner or later 2507 01:40:22,267 --> 01:40:24,228 Your legs give way you hit the ground 2508 01:40:24,269 --> 01:40:25,729 Save it for later 2509 01:40:25,812 --> 01:40:27,940 Don't run away and let me down 2510 01:40:28,023 --> 01:40:29,316 Sooner or later 2511 01:40:29,399 --> 01:40:31,610 You hit the deck you get found out 2512 01:40:31,693 --> 01:40:33,070 Save it for later 2513 01:40:33,153 --> 01:40:34,613 Don't run away, run away 2514 01:40:34,696 --> 01:40:36,823 And let me down 2515 01:40:36,907 --> 01:40:40,284 Don't run away, run away and let me down 2516 01:40:40,285 --> 01:40:42,162 Don't run away, run away 2517 01:40:42,246 --> 01:40:44,164 Run away, run away 2518 01:40:44,248 --> 01:40:47,543 Run away, run away, run away 2519 01:40:53,632 --> 01:40:54,817 Disco Cab Driver: If you remember anything 2520 01:40:54,841 --> 01:40:57,970 that I tell you, remember this: 2521 01:40:58,053 --> 01:41:01,431 James Brown is the baddest motherfucker in show business. 157719

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