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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,250 --> 00:00:05,870 And now, a holiday message from the President of the United States. 2 00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:14,790 Ho, ho, ho, ho, yes, we've added a fourth ho. 3 00:00:15,610 --> 00:00:19,450 Biden only had three, we added a fourth. Hi, it's me, your favorite president, 4 00:00:19,530 --> 00:00:24,050 back again this week, coming to you live from a part of the White House that 5 00:00:24,050 --> 00:00:26,890 Melania's Christmas decorations haven't gotten to yet. 6 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:32,860 That's why we still have fireplace and garland and not spooky twigs and black 7 00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:33,860 vase. 8 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:38,580 But we have to be vigilant this Christmas as Americans. As you know, 9 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:42,580 immigrants are coming in through our chimneys and stealing our milk and 10 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,400 I think that's where North Pole is, Arctic. We'll be looking into that. 11 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,680 going to look into that. But we love Christmas, right? We love Christmas. 12 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:51,680 the tree. 13 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,280 I know I'm not supposed to say that out loud, but it helps me, okay? 14 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,440 Oh, we love tree. 15 00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:00,480 Remember when I did this with flag? 16 00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:04,900 Did you like that? I'm hugging tree now. It's very sharp. 17 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,340 I hug flag and tree, just never person. Return to podium. 18 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:14,800 But Christmas is great. We love it. In fact, I'm doing my own version of 19 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:20,720 nativity now, where kings from the Middle East bring gifts for me, like 20 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,980 airplane and casino deal in Dubai. 21 00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:27,170 But unlike nativity, they're not showing up on camel. 22 00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:31,190 And I know camel. I know it very well. I know it from my mandatory daily 23 00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:32,250 cognitive test. 24 00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:36,290 I always point right to camel. I always get camel right. 25 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,510 It's bumpy horse. That's how I know. 26 00:01:39,590 --> 00:01:44,550 Camel bumpy horse. I say it a lot. But I wanted to ramble to you tonight about 27 00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:49,190 the incredible things this administration is doing. We're doing 28 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,750 We are renaming the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. 29 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:58,780 which will now be called the Trump Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, 30 00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,880 Oklahoma. 31 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:06,940 I'm actually going to be renaming a number of our other monuments as well. 32 00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:09,580 Trump Washington Monument. 33 00:02:11,780 --> 00:02:13,180 Trump Lincoln Memorial. 34 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,580 And, of course, Big Elphaba. 35 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,260 That one's just for fun. The third one's always the funny one. 36 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,980 You know, people are saying, sir, why are you putting your name on so many 37 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,980 buildings? And I say, it's because we had to take it off of so many files. 38 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,100 Epsi. 39 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:34,780 Redacted. 40 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:38,160 We had so many drums in there, we had to put them somewhere. You know what I'm 41 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,420 saying? We like to say redacted. 42 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:43,600 It's my second favorite R word, redacted. I love it. 43 00:02:44,820 --> 00:02:46,220 Shut up. We love it. 44 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:51,860 And it's been a great year for foreign policy. I am invading Venezuela by 45 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:53,740 myself, Metal Gear Solid style. 46 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,860 That's exciting. Did that hit with some of the losers in the crowd? Maybe it 47 00:02:57,860 --> 00:03:02,360 did. And you know what? The economy is fine, all right? The economy is fine. 48 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,340 It's getting closer to fine. Indigo Girls. 49 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:10,940 They were one of my favorite lesbian folk rock duos. I believe that was 50 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,760 Etheridge and I want to say Elton John. I thought they were great. 51 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,320 Two of my favorites. 52 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,980 Oh, and this is very important. I almost forgot. 53 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,700 I'm inventing my own Hunger Games. 54 00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:25,020 That's right. The White House will be hosting the Patriot Games for high 55 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:26,140 athletes to compete. 56 00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:30,640 Because I thought, what's the best way to distract from the Epstein files? 57 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:34,360 I know, invite a bunch of teenagers to my house. 58 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,400 That'll help. 59 00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:40,120 I'll take things a pedophile might do for a thousand, Alex. 60 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,440 But you can't say Alex anymore, right? You gotta say Ken. 61 00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:48,830 You gotta say Ken. You can't say Alex. It was Mayim Bialik for a second. I like 62 00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:49,830 Ken. 63 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:56,310 They're saying, sir, you're doing Hunger Games and you know how that book ends. 64 00:03:56,390 --> 00:03:58,010 And of course I don't because book! 65 00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:03,310 I don't like to read and frankly might not be able to anymore. We'll be looking 66 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,310 into that very shortly. 67 00:04:04,970 --> 00:04:09,230 but with regard to files we're being very transparent because jeffrey epstein 68 00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:14,070 was a terrible man and i didn't know him and i liked him a lot so we released 69 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:19,450 all the files and i come out looking frankly very good we had to redact a few 70 00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:21,930 sensitive things but you'll get the gist here look at this 71 00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:28,270 check it out trump 72 00:04:28,270 --> 00:04:35,100 didn't do nothing bad trump does smash but not like Wrong kind. 73 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:36,620 The end. 74 00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:39,560 See, it's all there. Can you believe it? 75 00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:47,040 So in conclusion, it's been a great second first year. I want to wish 76 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,040 Merry Christmas. 77 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,860 Or if you're Jewish, happy honky -donk. 78 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,940 And live from New York. 79 00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:06,550 Michael Che. 80 00:05:12,350 --> 00:05:13,710 Mikey Gay. 81 00:05:19,510 --> 00:05:21,510 Andrew Dinkmute. 82 00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:30,910 Chloe Fineman. 83 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:48,080 Fernando Fernandez James Austin Johnson 84 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:56,640 Colin 85 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:03,220 Jost Parrish Sherman 86 00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:09,120 Keenan Thompson 87 00:06:18,990 --> 00:06:19,990 Featuring... 88 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:14,260 Ladies and gentlemen, Ariana Grande! 89 00:07:42,540 --> 00:07:45,360 to be here tonight hosting the Christmas episode of SNL. 90 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:52,200 Last time I hosted was a year ago, and so many people have been asking me if 91 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,500 I'll revisit any of my sketches from last time, like, you know, Domingo. 92 00:07:57,700 --> 00:08:02,240 But I told them, I don't think so. When something is perfect, it doesn't need a 93 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,240 sequel. 94 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:05,880 What? 95 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,380 That's why I just finished filming Meet the Parents 4. 96 00:08:11,510 --> 00:08:14,410 December is my favorite time of year in New York. I love the decorations. 97 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:16,110 I love the snow on the ground. 98 00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:20,950 I love shopping for all of my loved ones. But I have to admit, I get a 99 00:08:20,950 --> 00:08:24,930 stressed shopping for certain other people in my life. You know what I mean? 100 00:08:25,310 --> 00:08:26,310 Maybe you can relate. 101 00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:28,310 Oh, thank you. 102 00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:53,620 I'm sorry, Steve. 103 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,760 But I'm serious. All I want for Christmas is to know what to get for the 104 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:58,760 that I don't know that well. 105 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,700 All suggestions are welcome. 106 00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:01,980 I can help you, Ari. 107 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:08,660 Can 108 00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:19,000 I 109 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,860 just say how much I loved your line in Wicked? 110 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,360 Thank you. You're welcome. No, no, that was my line in the movie. Thank you. 111 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,140 Well, that was really good. 112 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,760 What about a bath massage coupon? 113 00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:39,680 That would probably freak him out. How about a cameo from Matthew Morrison? 114 00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:02,290 Taller than I thought. 115 00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:05,330 Something else, something else, Sam. 116 00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:09,430 My cousin broke up with Keith. 117 00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:55,010 Watch children all day to see if they're nice or mean. 118 00:12:55,390 --> 00:13:00,350 At night, they fly like Santa's sleigh and tell Santa what they've seen. 119 00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:05,950 But the job isn't always jolly. Each winter, it can cause their bright 120 00:13:05,950 --> 00:13:11,870 to droop. So at the North Pole Rec Center meets the Elf on the Shelf 121 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:12,870 Group. 122 00:13:14,450 --> 00:13:17,790 Okay. Okay. Looks like this is everyone. 123 00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:20,010 For our newcomers. 124 00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:30,530 psychotherapy from peppermint i put this group together to help us work through 125 00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:37,070 our trauma so has anyone had a particularly rough week yes look what 126 00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:43,670 me my house found out that they put it to my head that's hard 127 00:13:43,670 --> 00:13:45,870 yeah that's why we have this group 128 00:14:04,639 --> 00:14:10,400 I'm Giggleboob. And three weeks ago, I fell in between the cushion of the 129 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,100 and nobody's found me. 130 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:19,400 And I'm going freaking crazy, man. Like, I'm talking to AAA batteries like 131 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:23,880 they're my friends, man. Like, when are they going to find me? Hey. Like, when 132 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,100 are they going to find me? Hey, hey, hey, hey. 133 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,240 It's not your fault. 134 00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:30,420 It's not your fault. 135 00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:33,540 Twinkle Butter, would you like to share? 136 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,410 workshop. You're allowed to cry here. 137 00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:28,210 And actually, elves can die. 138 00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:31,530 If they think a naughty thought, they explode into confetti. 139 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:35,350 It's hard for me not to think naughty thoughts. 140 00:15:36,350 --> 00:15:43,150 I'm on a shelf in a frat house at Arizona State University, and they 141 00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:46,570 pose me in ways that aren't very jolly. 142 00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:51,210 They take pictures like this one. 143 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:41,680 Do you want to share now? 144 00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:44,100 No, man. Miss me with it. 145 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:49,300 Okay. Okay. You know, Pickle Thickle, I'm surprised to see you here. I thought 146 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,840 your home was warm and jolly. 147 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,160 Is everything okay? 148 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,740 We now return to the heartwarming ending of a Christmas classic. 149 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,300 Kevin, I missed you so much. 150 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,640 But where's everyone else? 151 00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:11,000 Oh, they couldn't make it, sweetie. I'm sorry. They wanted to, but... 152 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,600 Kevin! 153 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,440 Kevin, my boy! You're all right! 154 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:20,920 Hey, Barknut. 155 00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:23,800 Pretty cool you didn't burn the place down. 156 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,120 Thanks, Buzz. 157 00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:30,780 Wait a minute. How did you all get home? We took the morning flight. Remember? 158 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:32,200 The one you didn't want to wait for? 159 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,600 I've been awake for 72 hours. 160 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,620 So, what did you do the whole time you were alone, Kev? Oh, just hung around. 161 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,180 I've been awake so long I'm legally insane. 162 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,359 All right. 163 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:49,700 Well, now we have plenty of time to hear about Kevin's little adventures. 164 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,040 Now, let's all put our coats away. Wait, Dad! 165 00:21:18,380 --> 00:21:21,040 I've just been awake for a very long time. 166 00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:22,460 Merry Christmas, Mom. 167 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,240 Merry Christmas, Kevin. 168 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,360 And a Happy New Year. 169 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,140 Yeah, I hear these instructors are, like, amazing. 170 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,440 Amazing? More like pretty good. 171 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,640 That's worse! 172 00:21:57,660 --> 00:21:59,500 Welcome, everyone, to Dance 101. 173 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,900 Let's get started. We don't have a lot of time. 174 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,360 Oh, I thought the class was three hours. 175 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,020 No, it starts at three, and it's hours. 176 00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:11,359 It's there. 177 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,680 Try listening, you old girl. 178 00:22:13,420 --> 00:22:15,340 Thank you, Denniston. 179 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:16,880 Okay. 180 00:22:20,490 --> 00:22:22,310 It's fast, fast, fast, slow. 181 00:22:22,870 --> 00:22:24,930 I'm sorry, what does that mean? 182 00:22:25,730 --> 00:22:27,910 Every pop star uses this dance technique. 183 00:22:28,170 --> 00:22:30,030 It starts out fast, and then you get slow. 184 00:22:30,230 --> 00:22:31,230 Watch us. 185 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,930 Fast, fast, fast, slow. 186 00:22:34,490 --> 00:22:36,230 Fast, fast, fast, slow. 187 00:22:36,530 --> 00:22:37,650 We put it down. 188 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,050 We put it down for you. 189 00:22:39,290 --> 00:22:40,290 Did you like that? 190 00:22:41,750 --> 00:22:43,270 Did that answer your question? 191 00:22:44,490 --> 00:22:45,510 Not really. 192 00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:47,350 What? It's so easy. 193 00:22:47,610 --> 00:22:49,170 It's fast, fast, fast, slow. 194 00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:51,300 It's cocaine, then red wine. 195 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:52,500 Like this. 196 00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:54,460 Cocaine, cocaine, cocaine. 197 00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:56,580 Red wine, red wine. 198 00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:03,300 Exactly, Denison. 199 00:23:03,460 --> 00:23:05,180 Now you get a kiss on the forehead. 200 00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:07,780 Thank you. 201 00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:10,340 Um, I'm sorry. 202 00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:13,200 I thought we were going to be learning, like, actual dance moves. 203 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:19,460 Oh, I'm sorry. Who's the expert here? You with zero dance experience? Or us? 204 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,560 with some. 205 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:26,200 We are the people who choreographed the dances in three Jardians commercials. 206 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,320 Yes, bitch. 207 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,780 We made diabetes look like something you want. 208 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,500 Is that a good thing? 209 00:23:34,140 --> 00:23:35,140 Listen, people. 210 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,299 Okay? Listen. 211 00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:38,320 Listen to us, people. Okay? 212 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:43,060 Anything you want to say, you can say it with your body. Dance is the universal 213 00:23:43,060 --> 00:23:44,420 language. Watch me. 214 00:23:45,260 --> 00:23:48,960 I am hungry. I said, I am hungry. 215 00:23:49,740 --> 00:23:50,740 Do you like that? 216 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:51,880 Yes. Or this. 217 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,320 I'm not vaccinated. 218 00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,240 I'm sorry. 219 00:23:58,380 --> 00:24:00,000 Are you not vaccinated? 220 00:24:00,420 --> 00:24:03,120 Excuse me, you can't actually ask me that in RFKs America. 221 00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:07,560 They still don't get it. Let me give you one more. 222 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,080 Watch me, class. 223 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:15,840 I met a girl, and she had a baby, so I... 224 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,820 My favorite part of pooping is to wipe. 225 00:24:34,220 --> 00:24:35,260 That's excellent. 226 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,460 Excellent. It's actually my third favorite part. 227 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,040 Next, you, please. 228 00:24:41,820 --> 00:24:48,000 Me? I hadn't really thought about it, but my ex -wife dropped the charges. Now 229 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,940 that bitch is behind me. 230 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:56,900 That is wonderful, and you are low -key hauling a wagon back there. Wow. 231 00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,519 Tremendous. Very nice. 232 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:04,420 Now, remember, class, dancing is something that's revealing. For example, 233 00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,359 is hers. 234 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:06,360 Oh, yes. 235 00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:07,380 Thank you. 236 00:25:08,980 --> 00:25:13,100 Thank you. You're welcome. I've always said that you can tell how someone has 237 00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:15,200 sex by simply watching them dance. Yes. 238 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,020 Yeah, I highly doubt that. 239 00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:20,180 Okay, then show us how you dance. 240 00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:21,680 Oh, okay. 241 00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:37,430 No particular reason. I have to go. 242 00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:47,790 And no dance is complete without a grand finale. 243 00:25:48,410 --> 00:25:53,750 And nothing is grander than two people that made the dance look much harder 244 00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:54,409 it was. 245 00:25:54,410 --> 00:25:56,710 Out of breath and about to kiss. 246 00:25:57,030 --> 00:25:58,790 Five, six, seven, eight. 247 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:22,900 Every year, new generations discover the 1977 clip of David Bowie and Bing 248 00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:26,920 Crosby singing Little Drummer Boy, an unlikely pair producing an iconic 249 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,900 Christmas moment. So we here at Peacock Talk, let's just do that with the big 250 00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:31,779 names of today. 251 00:26:31,780 --> 00:26:36,020 Presenting Peacock's Random Duet Christmas Spectacular, featuring other 252 00:26:36,020 --> 00:26:38,200 duos like Bob Dylan and Katy Perry. 253 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:44,540 Baby, you're a Christmas tree. It's a Christmas tree. What do I say? 254 00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:57,710 I love the classic Christmas carol Deck the Halls, performed by Bruce 255 00:26:57,710 --> 00:26:59,690 Springsteen and Bad Bunny. Hey, Stevie! 256 00:27:00,050 --> 00:27:01,710 How many halls do you deck, man? 257 00:27:01,990 --> 00:27:03,150 You deck them all yet? 258 00:27:03,690 --> 00:27:07,490 You know, my father was an elf. He'd be working all day up in the North Pole 259 00:27:07,490 --> 00:27:08,490 building toys. 260 00:27:08,530 --> 00:27:12,110 But of course, like all my stories, that's not true. 261 00:27:12,790 --> 00:27:14,870 Deck the halls with Bad Bunny! 262 00:27:15,810 --> 00:27:20,990 Oh, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo. Me gusta mucho el dashing, dancing, dancing, 263 00:27:21,290 --> 00:27:22,290 dancing. 264 00:27:22,610 --> 00:27:27,420 What? Silent Night by Kate Bush and Yoko Ono. Silent night. 265 00:27:27,740 --> 00:27:31,140 It's white and it's night and it's silent. 266 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,460 Silent night. 267 00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:41,120 Next up, a very special duet. 268 00:27:41,580 --> 00:27:43,480 Merry Super Christmas. 269 00:27:43,820 --> 00:27:45,900 With the legendary Stevie Wonder. 270 00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:48,200 I'm dancing all the house. 271 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,980 And rising star Benson Boo. 272 00:27:51,340 --> 00:27:52,340 Merry Super. 273 00:27:57,100 --> 00:27:58,940 to my piano wearing a blue secret suit. 274 00:27:59,420 --> 00:28:02,100 I mean, I didn't see nothing. 275 00:28:03,740 --> 00:28:06,700 An O 'Holy Night by Bjork and Post Malone. 276 00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:09,440 O 'Holy Night, let's try to celebrate. 277 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,420 Look into the stars, it's a very beautiful night. 278 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,100 The trees are crying, the seals are tears. 279 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:23,620 And an original Christmas song by Little John and SNL's Jane Whitline. Christmas 280 00:28:23,620 --> 00:28:24,640 should be on... 281 00:28:32,940 --> 00:28:35,440 Home for Christmas, it's Cameron Winter from Geekly. 282 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:42,540 I'll be home, I'll be home for Christmas with my family. 283 00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:44,440 And once again, Benson Boone. 284 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:51,180 And to close things out, a stirring Hanukkah duet between Andrea Bocelli and 285 00:28:51,180 --> 00:28:52,180 Celine Dion. 286 00:29:47,649 --> 00:29:50,910 December 33rd? What? That can't be right. 287 00:29:57,190 --> 00:30:02,410 Ladies and gentlemen of the court, the preponderance of evidence clearly shows 288 00:30:02,410 --> 00:30:08,990 that this deranged man, Lamont Brown, is guilty on all charges 289 00:30:08,990 --> 00:30:15,310 of burglary. We have security footage showing Mr. Brown breaking into several 290 00:30:15,310 --> 00:30:16,570 homes in the area. 291 00:30:16,990 --> 00:30:22,470 and fleeing with thousands of dollars worth of merchandise in a large bag. 292 00:30:22,830 --> 00:30:29,110 This man is clearly unstable, and the prosecution recommends he remains in 293 00:30:29,110 --> 00:30:33,870 custody and receives a thorough psychiatric evaluation. 294 00:30:34,590 --> 00:30:39,030 Thank you. Thank you. Mr. Brown, I've seen a lot of cases, and I tend to agree 295 00:30:39,030 --> 00:30:40,030 with the prosecution. 296 00:30:40,110 --> 00:30:44,050 You've chosen to represent yourself, which, as the saying goes, implies that 297 00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:45,190 have a fool for a client. 298 00:30:46,510 --> 00:30:47,510 Thank you. 299 00:30:48,590 --> 00:30:51,630 Is there anything you'd like to say before the jury delivers the verdict? 300 00:30:52,290 --> 00:30:58,210 Well, if it's okay, Your Honor, girl, I would like to make one last plea in the 301 00:30:58,210 --> 00:30:59,910 form of a classic Christmas song. 302 00:31:00,410 --> 00:31:01,950 A classic Christmas song? 303 00:31:05,350 --> 00:31:08,630 Unconventional, but you know what? It's your time, Mr. Brown. Use it how you see 304 00:31:08,630 --> 00:31:09,630 fit. 305 00:31:15,530 --> 00:31:22,250 No matter how hard I try, you won't believe my alibi. 306 00:31:22,370 --> 00:31:24,710 And I can't break through. 307 00:31:26,030 --> 00:31:28,530 There's no talking to you. 308 00:31:29,990 --> 00:31:33,590 It's so sad I'm arrested. 309 00:31:33,990 --> 00:31:37,570 All the toys I've invested. 310 00:31:39,390 --> 00:31:42,150 But after all is said and done. 311 00:31:43,690 --> 00:31:46,210 You're going to be the naughty one. 312 00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:23,080 crime that you're being charged with. 313 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:28,540 But now that you've explained yourself, I guess you're free to go. 314 00:32:29,500 --> 00:32:30,500 Sorry, 315 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:36,700 free to go? Your Honor, you don't actually believe this nut job, do you? 316 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,700 Watch your mouth, Counselor. 317 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,960 That's Santa Claus. He can hear you. He's sitting right there. 318 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,980 This man is definitely not Santa. 319 00:32:47,740 --> 00:32:50,660 Now, why can't I be Santa? Because I'm black? 320 00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:53,900 No. 321 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:59,160 Okay? Because we have you on camera stealing from people's homes. 322 00:33:00,180 --> 00:33:01,180 So what that mean? 323 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,400 It means you're not Santa. 324 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:05,940 You're a burglar. 325 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:07,880 Why can't I be both? 326 00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:10,540 What? 327 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,340 Don't you see, young man? 328 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,000 Santa can be anything that you want him to be. 329 00:33:15,340 --> 00:33:17,680 White, black, burglar. 330 00:33:22,030 --> 00:33:23,030 Do I what? 331 00:33:24,150 --> 00:33:27,570 Do you believe I'm Black Bear McCloud? 332 00:33:29,050 --> 00:33:30,050 No. 333 00:33:30,770 --> 00:33:31,770 Objection, Your Honor. 334 00:33:31,810 --> 00:33:34,850 Sustained. Watch it, Counselor. You are on thin ice. 335 00:33:35,850 --> 00:33:40,310 I'm sorry, Your Honor, but what about all the people who had their valuables 336 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:42,530 stolen by this man? 337 00:33:43,410 --> 00:33:45,010 Oh, come on. That's just toys. 338 00:33:45,330 --> 00:33:47,790 No. No, it's not just toys. 339 00:33:52,270 --> 00:33:54,730 Bunch of women's shoes, yoga pants. 340 00:33:57,670 --> 00:33:58,890 So what that mean? 341 00:34:00,230 --> 00:34:03,770 It means you're not Santa, you're a pervert. 342 00:34:04,410 --> 00:34:05,690 Why can't I be both? 343 00:34:07,790 --> 00:34:08,790 Both what? 344 00:34:09,070 --> 00:34:10,449 Don't you see, young man? 345 00:34:11,969 --> 00:34:13,909 Toys can be anything that you want. 346 00:34:14,389 --> 00:34:20,010 They can be toys or bras or dirty panties. 347 00:34:26,630 --> 00:34:27,630 No. 348 00:34:29,190 --> 00:34:31,870 Objection. The same. That was your last straw. 349 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:33,909 I'm holding you in contempt of court, counselor. 350 00:34:34,270 --> 00:34:35,969 Wait, me? For what? 351 00:34:36,190 --> 00:34:39,530 Because you don't believe in black Santa Claus. 352 00:34:39,790 --> 00:34:43,170 Get this fool out of my courtroom. 353 00:34:44,389 --> 00:34:47,429 Thank you. And black Santa. 354 00:34:49,190 --> 00:34:50,270 Merry Christmas. 355 00:34:51,050 --> 00:34:52,190 Merry Christmas, girl. 356 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:24,400 Sure. 357 00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:18,380 Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che. 358 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:29,240 Good evening, everyone. 359 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,880 Welcome to Weekend Update. I'm Michael Che. I'm Colin Jost. 360 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,220 Well, it's that time of year when everybody is talking about the man who 361 00:39:39,220 --> 00:39:42,940 through the air to visit children all over the world, Jeffrey Epstein. 362 00:39:44,290 --> 00:39:47,710 Yesterday, the Department of Justice released another batch of Epstein 363 00:39:47,710 --> 00:39:52,270 which critics pointed out deliberately omitted references to Donald Trump in a 364 00:39:52,270 --> 00:39:53,770 totally non -suspicious way. 365 00:39:54,030 --> 00:39:55,590 And honestly, it's not fair. 366 00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:59,070 You know, Donald Trump was my favorite character in the Epstein file. 367 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:03,870 It's like when House of Cards suddenly stopped starring Kevin Spacey. 368 00:40:04,130 --> 00:40:07,850 Probably because he had booked a recurring role in the Epstein file. 369 00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:13,980 The Justice Department announced... that it would not be able to release all of 370 00:40:13,980 --> 00:40:16,140 the Jeffrey Epstein files by yesterday's deadline. 371 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,500 I guess they kept running out of black ink. 372 00:40:20,260 --> 00:40:24,520 Those files were so boring. The only interesting thing I saw was this picture 373 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,060 Bill Clinton hugged up on Melania. 374 00:40:31,700 --> 00:40:34,240 Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. 375 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,420 seen here describing how close he is to blackface. 376 00:40:42,250 --> 00:40:45,990 that the federal government will pull funding from hospitals that offer gender 377 00:40:45,990 --> 00:40:50,830 -affirming care to transgender minors. And yet, RFK is allowed to slowly 378 00:40:50,830 --> 00:40:52,790 transition into Wilson the volleyball. 379 00:40:56,430 --> 00:41:01,110 President Trump claimed in his speech that for the past seven months, there 380 00:41:01,110 --> 00:41:04,230 been zero illegal aliens allowed into the country. 381 00:41:04,490 --> 00:41:07,630 Zero? I just got a lap dance from two last night. 382 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:16,420 During a White House event, an Iowa farmer said that his son told him, 383 00:41:16,540 --> 00:41:20,280 Daddy, I don't want Santa Claus to come to our house for Christmas. I want 384 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:21,280 President Trump. 385 00:41:21,380 --> 00:41:26,040 And Trump's actually been practicing being Santa by sliding down this 386 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,040 chimney. 387 00:41:29,340 --> 00:41:34,660 A statue has been unveiled at the U .S. Capitol of Barbara Rose Johns, a black 388 00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:37,140 teenager who led a protest against school segregation. 389 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,260 And right behind it is a statue of Thomas Jefferson going. 390 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:51,260 Marjorie Taylor Greene announced that she is engaged to Brian Glenn, a pro 391 00:41:51,260 --> 00:41:53,720 -Trump pundit for Real America's Voice. 392 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,740 And I just want to see the size of the rock that that guy must be smoking. 393 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:07,780 White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, seen here having a staring contest with 394 00:42:07,780 --> 00:42:13,640 Kash Patel, said in a new interview that President Trump has an alcoholic's 395 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:14,640 personality. 396 00:42:14,940 --> 00:42:18,420 Hey, don't you dare compare him to my friend Michael Che. 397 00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:27,060 That wasn't very nice. While many Americans feel less holiday cheer as we 398 00:42:27,060 --> 00:42:30,060 older, it's important to make this time special for the children. 399 00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:34,640 Here to tell us what he wants for Christmas is my 12 -year -old nephew, 400 00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:36,020 Oh. 401 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,760 Merry Christmas, Uncle Che. 402 00:42:42,020 --> 00:42:43,020 Yay! 403 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,440 A little big for yay, but okay. 404 00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:51,500 Now, you told me you wanted to share your Christmas wish list. I sure do, but 405 00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:56,100 Uncle Teddy, do you think Santa's watching SNL? I mean, I think Santa's 406 00:42:56,100 --> 00:42:58,620 watching. He's over 100 and white, so probably. 407 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:04,920 Wow, that's so cool. Can I say something to him directly? 408 00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,320 Sure, go ahead. Just look in that camera and say what you want. 409 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:09,080 Hi, Santa. 410 00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:10,500 It's me, Tyson. 411 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,900 The little boy who's been good all year. 412 00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:14,098 Remember me? 413 00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:17,980 I asked for a bike last year, but I didn't get one. And that kind of hurt my 414 00:43:17,980 --> 00:43:20,760 feelings. But this year, I'm getting everything I want. 415 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,300 Because on Christmas Day, I'm coming to your house. 416 00:43:24,740 --> 00:43:26,920 I'm going to beat your ass, and I'm going to get what's mine. 417 00:43:27,460 --> 00:43:28,460 Oh, whoa. 418 00:43:28,820 --> 00:43:29,880 Tyson, what are you doing? 419 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:34,920 What? I'm just a little kid who really wants a bicycle more than anything in 420 00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,560 world. Well, that sounds more like a threat. 421 00:43:38,180 --> 00:43:39,180 I'm sorry. 422 00:43:39,300 --> 00:43:41,680 Can I keep talking to Santa if I promise to be nice? 423 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,100 All right, Tyson, but show a little respect. I work here, kind of. 424 00:43:47,780 --> 00:43:48,780 Listen, bitch. 425 00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,780 Here's how it's going to go. I'm going to sneak in your house like John Wick. 426 00:43:53,940 --> 00:43:57,460 I'm going to slide down your chimney quiet as hell, and I'm going to step on 427 00:43:57,460 --> 00:43:58,520 elves in my way. 428 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,200 And I'm not coming alone, either. I'm bringing that little drummer boy with 429 00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:06,720 Yes, Uncle Che? 430 00:44:07,740 --> 00:44:10,760 Uncle? Look, you're talking about a home invasion against Santa. 431 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,400 I don't know what that is, Uncle Che. 432 00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:14,980 I'm only this many. 433 00:44:17,060 --> 00:44:19,520 Man, once you need three hands, you got to stop doing that. 434 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,520 But I'm only in the third grade. 435 00:44:22,940 --> 00:44:23,940 Again? 436 00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:29,860 Look, maybe I came off a little aggressive, but I promise it's going to 437 00:44:29,860 --> 00:44:33,580 sweet. All right, I'm going to let you finish since it's Christmas, and I'm not 438 00:44:33,580 --> 00:44:34,580 getting you anything. 439 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:36,600 Okay, Uncle T. 440 00:44:36,620 --> 00:44:37,940 You've got to stop doing that. 441 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:40,740 Now, listen up, fat man. 442 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,640 I'm not coming for a bike anymore. 443 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:45,280 I'm coming for Mrs. Claus. 444 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:47,419 Yeah, that's right. 445 00:44:47,420 --> 00:44:48,660 She's going to my DMs. 446 00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,280 They don't know what's going on. I'm going to run a Polo Express on that hoe. 447 00:44:53,860 --> 00:44:56,700 And she's not going to be doing rap or anything, neither. I'm going to be bunk 448 00:44:56,700 --> 00:44:57,700 naked. 449 00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,320 Wait, you're going to be naked? 450 00:45:00,020 --> 00:45:02,400 Yeah, just a puffer jacket and an Ugg boots for traction. 451 00:45:03,610 --> 00:45:04,610 That's a good call. 452 00:45:04,710 --> 00:45:09,210 Yeah. And after I snooch on your bitch, I'm going to go into your kitchen and 453 00:45:09,210 --> 00:45:10,210 make some dino nuggets. 454 00:45:10,570 --> 00:45:12,330 After all, I am only 12. 455 00:45:12,650 --> 00:45:13,348 Oh, man. 456 00:45:13,350 --> 00:45:16,950 I'm worried about this kid. My nephew Tyson, everybody. I'm this mini. 457 00:45:18,110 --> 00:45:19,110 Merry Christmas. 458 00:45:21,010 --> 00:45:25,690 Well, tonight is our Christmas show, and we have a tradition where me and Colin 459 00:45:25,690 --> 00:45:29,750 give each other jokes to read that neither of us has ever seen. 460 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:41,200 that's interesting because you you specifically said that we were not doing 461 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:47,940 this year oh did i yes yes and you know 462 00:45:47,940 --> 00:45:54,580 that i did i did not write any jokes for you oh well i guess you'll just have to 463 00:45:54,580 --> 00:45:55,580 read mine 464 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:13,040 coins from the U .S. Mint celebrating great moments in the country's history 465 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:18,220 ignores civil rights. But what about the coin that celebrates where black people 466 00:46:18,220 --> 00:46:19,600 actually come from? 467 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,620 Ships. Oh, 468 00:46:21,620 --> 00:46:28,260 my God. 469 00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,800 Wow, Colin, that's really bold to say on Christmas. 470 00:46:34,460 --> 00:46:37,340 The Archdiocese of New York. 471 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:44,540 announced that it will set up a $300 million fund for victims of church 472 00:46:44,540 --> 00:46:50,240 abuse. And yet I get nothing for keeping my mouth shut and taking it like a 473 00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:51,240 champ? 474 00:46:56,500 --> 00:46:58,880 You should have wrote some jokes for me to tell. 475 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,880 Looks like you got more. Oh, good. 476 00:47:05,870 --> 00:47:10,990 New research shows that millions of women leave the workforce due to 477 00:47:11,110 --> 00:47:15,410 which means there's only a couple years left on my gravy train. 478 00:47:16,750 --> 00:47:23,610 My girl already be like, Colin, 479 00:47:23,730 --> 00:47:24,730 I'm warm. 480 00:47:24,790 --> 00:47:28,290 Colin, I'm sweating. Bitch, you having a hot sweat. 481 00:47:31,950 --> 00:47:37,870 But don't worry about me. I got a backup. They don't call Wednesday hump 482 00:47:37,870 --> 00:47:38,870 nothing. 483 00:47:43,190 --> 00:47:45,490 Wow, Colin, I wouldn't have done that one. 484 00:47:49,370 --> 00:47:50,370 Wednesday? 485 00:47:51,370 --> 00:47:56,410 It's almost the end of the year, which means that people online are going to be 486 00:47:56,410 --> 00:47:57,410 totally okay. 487 00:47:59,050 --> 00:48:02,950 It's almost the end of the year, which means people online are going to be 488 00:48:02,950 --> 00:48:09,210 posting what will be in and out for 2026. Here to give us the definitive 489 00:48:09,210 --> 00:48:11,490 are two trend forecasters. 490 00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:28,580 Well, how you guys been? 491 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,280 Where have you been? 492 00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:35,740 Well, Michael, are you okay? You need to shake off what you just did, I think. 493 00:48:36,420 --> 00:48:39,040 Well, Michael, we've been gathering the trends. 494 00:48:39,300 --> 00:48:43,600 We get them from a very huge, sweaty, rock -hard computer. 495 00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:46,060 Oh, wow. Does it use AI? 496 00:48:46,300 --> 00:48:48,840 More like a little bit of I guess. 497 00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:50,660 Yes, AI. It does use AI. 498 00:48:50,860 --> 00:48:53,040 And that's how we got the report. 499 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,400 First up is holiday trends. 500 00:48:56,720 --> 00:49:00,440 In fighting with your family. Grandma, no, let me go. 501 00:49:01,020 --> 00:49:02,940 In bambas. 502 00:49:04,020 --> 00:49:06,580 Everybody's getting sucked from bambas. 503 00:49:07,540 --> 00:49:10,120 In making the yuletide bisexual. 504 00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:17,520 And out mistletoe. A plant that makes you kiss. There's already one of 505 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:18,920 those and it's called marijuana. 506 00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:23,260 Ain't gonna let a leaf tell me who to love. 507 00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:29,540 And I'll kiss when I get the urge. And uh -oh, boy, I'm feeling it right now. 508 00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,600 Mistletoe! Bad bitch! 509 00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,160 Wow, you guys are that mad at Mistletoe? 510 00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:40,360 Yes! 511 00:49:40,500 --> 00:49:42,840 It's a horny pervert like you, Michael. 512 00:49:43,060 --> 00:49:44,060 Whoa! 513 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,620 Girls, girls, seriously. 514 00:49:47,140 --> 00:49:48,560 It's time for the next trend. 515 00:49:49,210 --> 00:49:50,210 Singing trends. 516 00:49:50,410 --> 00:49:51,790 In. In. 517 00:49:53,590 --> 00:49:57,110 Four married guys singing in harmony. 518 00:49:58,090 --> 00:49:59,090 In. 519 00:49:59,510 --> 00:50:02,650 And out. 520 00:50:03,470 --> 00:50:04,910 One, two, three, four. 521 00:50:05,170 --> 00:50:07,970 Just start the damn song, you bastard. 522 00:50:08,570 --> 00:50:11,970 You need to count in. Do it in your head. You're behaving like a drum. 523 00:50:12,190 --> 00:50:16,990 And you're not a drum. You're a man. So eat a steak and act like it. 524 00:50:17,190 --> 00:50:18,190 One, two. 525 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:28,160 You guys are clapping, but I still don't understand who you guys are or what you 526 00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:33,200 do. Clear a path, clear a path. It's time for Chinese Trends. Uh -oh. 527 00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:35,160 In dim sum. 528 00:50:35,720 --> 00:50:38,160 In really long dragon. 529 00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,460 In rush hour four. 530 00:50:40,700 --> 00:50:41,700 Thanks, Trump. 531 00:50:42,220 --> 00:50:43,220 And out. 532 00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:45,040 Orange chicken. 533 00:50:45,300 --> 00:50:47,240 Why did orange chicken become Chinese? 534 00:50:47,500 --> 00:50:50,840 I mean, yeah, it tastes pretty good, but we didn't invent that. Don't you agree? 535 00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:52,320 Do you want me to? 536 00:50:53,460 --> 00:50:57,360 Yes. Then yes. Thank you. Thank you. Orange chicken. 537 00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:58,760 Bitch. 538 00:51:02,420 --> 00:51:04,360 Will that go to that bitch in Mandarin? 539 00:51:04,580 --> 00:51:07,680 Yes. Learn to speak it like I did, or shut up. 540 00:51:09,260 --> 00:51:11,620 Is anything else out for 2026? 541 00:51:12,330 --> 00:51:17,330 Yes, Michael, the computer has permanently deleted three trends. 542 00:51:17,750 --> 00:51:20,530 Out, big waving pride flag. 543 00:51:20,930 --> 00:51:23,310 Out, Marge Simpson hair. 544 00:51:23,610 --> 00:51:27,030 And out, oh no, Michael Che! 545 00:51:59,150 --> 00:52:02,350 Love is Blind reunion, where we try to answer the question, is love really 546 00:52:02,350 --> 00:52:06,470 blind? Even though nine seasons of this show have proven, no, it's definitely 547 00:52:06,470 --> 00:52:11,230 not. And that was really on display with this next couple, who were fan 548 00:52:11,230 --> 00:52:16,150 favorites all season until their first look went, well, see for yourself. 549 00:52:16,830 --> 00:52:21,210 This has been such a wild ride. I mean, even though we met through a wall and I 550 00:52:21,210 --> 00:52:25,710 don't know what he looks like, I genuinely feel like he's my soulmate. 551 00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:30,940 Janelle is everything I've been looking for in a wife. Our new life starts 552 00:52:30,940 --> 00:52:31,940 today. 553 00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:58,500 Wow. You're beautiful. 554 00:52:59,020 --> 00:53:00,020 Wow. 555 00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:05,840 Oh, my God. What the... I can tell you're in shock. 556 00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:07,380 I am, too. 557 00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:09,680 Come here, you. 558 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:10,880 Okay. 559 00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:13,040 Oh, 560 00:53:15,660 --> 00:53:18,340 my God. I've been waiting 11 days to do that. 561 00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,880 What is... Sorry. How do I say this? 562 00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:24,680 Are you the literal Grinch? 563 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,240 Oh, what? You didn't know? 564 00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:31,200 Oh, yeah, I guess it never came up. 565 00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:34,160 Oh, I almost forgot. 566 00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:41,780 Oh. Will you make me the happiest this in the world? 567 00:53:42,460 --> 00:53:45,460 This? I'm sorry, are you even a human being? 568 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,060 Wait, Janelle, what? 569 00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:49,120 No, I'm serious. Like, are you even a guy? 570 00:53:49,620 --> 00:53:54,060 I can't believe I have to ask you this, but do you have a penis? 571 00:53:56,750 --> 00:53:58,130 What? No? 572 00:54:01,210 --> 00:54:03,010 I don't know what to say. 573 00:54:03,670 --> 00:54:07,970 Janelle, chill. What I do have is big. 574 00:54:08,210 --> 00:54:15,050 Just happens to be a corkscrew, and it's in my butt, and it hurts the 575 00:54:15,050 --> 00:54:16,290 woman and me. 576 00:54:16,790 --> 00:54:20,150 I can't do this, you guys. I can't. 577 00:54:24,110 --> 00:54:25,910 What an incredibly relatable situation. 578 00:54:27,050 --> 00:54:30,830 Janelle chose not to go to Mexico, but instead returned to her home in 579 00:54:31,110 --> 00:54:34,110 And the Grinch returned to his home on the outskirts of Whoville. 580 00:54:34,890 --> 00:54:38,530 It's been four months since the pods. Let's see how they're doing now. 581 00:54:38,970 --> 00:54:41,690 Please welcome Janelle and the Grinch. 582 00:54:56,070 --> 00:54:58,390 Welcome. So how did it feel watching that back? 583 00:54:59,150 --> 00:55:04,190 Well, the way it went down was kind of a worst -case scenario, but she 584 00:55:04,190 --> 00:55:05,910 overreacted a little. 585 00:55:06,170 --> 00:55:09,330 I know, yeah. But she since apologized. 586 00:55:09,670 --> 00:55:14,630 Yeah, I was being crazy because I literally never even asked if he was the 587 00:55:14,630 --> 00:55:16,370 Grinch. And that's on me. 588 00:55:17,230 --> 00:55:20,270 But now we're stronger than ever, right? 589 00:55:20,510 --> 00:55:22,270 Oh, my God, you're so fine! 590 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:29,300 Beautiful. Well, we want to open it up to the rest of the pod squad. 591 00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:31,580 Yeah, I'll chime in. 592 00:55:31,780 --> 00:55:34,860 Are we going to just skip over the part where he said he didn't have a penis? 593 00:55:36,100 --> 00:55:39,540 That what he has in his butt and it's a damn quirk shoe? Like, girl, why? 594 00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:44,280 You know what, Nadia? I love you, but out of respect for Neil, I don't want to 595 00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:45,280 get into our sex life. 596 00:55:45,500 --> 00:55:46,500 Yeah. 597 00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:47,880 Wait, sorry. Who is Neil? 598 00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:49,600 The Grinch? 599 00:55:50,940 --> 00:55:54,120 Actually, Amy, being called the Grinch. 600 00:55:54,560 --> 00:56:01,520 is uh thank you baby it's really triggering for me uh that's a name i was 601 00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:07,680 given by a town that terrorized me so uh i should go by neil now 602 00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:12,900 yeah i actually relate to neil you know it's hard when you meet the real person 603 00:56:12,900 --> 00:56:16,060 and they don't look awesome but you grow to love them 604 00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:24,540 note, Janelle and Neil, the producers have let us know that you have some big 605 00:56:24,540 --> 00:56:25,479 news to share. 606 00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,200 Yes, yes, we are expecting! 607 00:56:29,580 --> 00:56:34,680 Yes, yes, I'm showing a little bit right here. 608 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,420 My cravings have been crazy. 609 00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:40,740 Wait a minute, you're having a baby? 610 00:56:41,460 --> 00:56:44,040 And I hear you also brought a sonogram picture? 611 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:46,360 Ew! 612 00:56:46,700 --> 00:56:49,140 Oh my God. Why is he standing up? 613 00:56:51,379 --> 00:56:52,800 Wow, that's really wild. 614 00:56:53,300 --> 00:56:54,500 I'm Vanessa Lachey. 615 00:56:54,740 --> 00:56:58,200 And I'm Nick Lachey. And just so you know, 98 Degrees is touring again. 616 00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:02,040 We got turned down by the sphere, so we're playing a venue in Cincinnati 617 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,040 The Cube. 618 00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,720 It's just a regular building. But they got nachos, y 'all. 619 00:57:06,740 --> 00:57:07,740 We'll be right back. 620 00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:20,440 Oh God. 621 01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:51,340 Welcome to the JFK Delta One Lounge, the most random place to take a shower in 622 01:00:51,340 --> 01:00:54,860 for holidays. So we've got free eggnog for our guests. 623 01:00:55,140 --> 01:00:56,720 Eggnog gets your eggnog. 624 01:00:57,100 --> 01:00:59,000 Whoa, is that an industrial eggnog machine? 625 01:00:59,220 --> 01:01:01,240 Sure is. Have a glass. Oh, sorry. 626 01:01:01,660 --> 01:01:04,980 My machine's kind of breaking down, so I'm closing my station. 627 01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:06,880 This is my last shift. 628 01:01:08,020 --> 01:01:10,020 Oh, no, really? 629 01:01:10,300 --> 01:01:11,620 Yeah, it's sad. 630 01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:14,080 I'm going to miss everything about this place. 631 01:01:14,900 --> 01:01:16,060 The way it smells. 632 01:01:16,780 --> 01:01:18,320 the celebrities that would come through. 633 01:01:18,580 --> 01:01:20,980 You know, just last week, Josh O 'Connor was here. 634 01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:26,240 In the lounge? Oh, cool. Well, thanks for everything, and good luck. 635 01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:27,600 Thank you. 636 01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:31,180 Hello, Rhonda? Can you hear me? 637 01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:33,480 Ed, is that you? 638 01:01:34,020 --> 01:01:37,460 Are you still at the airport, Ed? It's Christmas Eve. 639 01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:41,300 That's when people want eggnog at the airport the most, honey. 640 01:01:42,020 --> 01:01:43,120 Oh, I know. 641 01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:45,060 I wish you were home. 642 01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:47,160 But I'm so proud of you. 643 01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:49,960 All the eggnog you've made over the years. 644 01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:52,700 Some of it was great. 645 01:01:53,180 --> 01:01:54,640 Some of it was rotten. 646 01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,380 And a lot of it got cut. 647 01:01:58,940 --> 01:02:01,860 But, you know, I also think eggnog's kind of like me. 648 01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:06,180 Not for everyone, but the people who like it are my kind of people. 649 01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:16,960 You're way more fun with bourbon. 650 01:02:18,180 --> 01:02:19,840 Oh, I miss you, Ed. 651 01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:21,820 Please, come home. 652 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:23,720 I'll be there soon, sweetie. 653 01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:31,320 Bells will be ringing It's sad, sad news 654 01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:37,560 Oh, what a Christmas To have 655 01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:41,800 booze My baby's gone 656 01:02:48,300 --> 01:02:52,580 with me greeting once again. 657 01:03:29,129 --> 01:03:31,250 son finally found me, so the jig is up. 658 01:03:33,170 --> 01:03:34,410 Yeah, I'm going to go meet him. 659 01:03:34,710 --> 01:03:37,230 That's lovely. Can I interest you in some eggnog? Sorry. 660 01:03:38,070 --> 01:03:39,290 Sure. Thank you. 661 01:03:40,190 --> 01:03:41,250 And good luck. 662 01:03:41,510 --> 01:03:42,510 I'm going to miss you. 663 01:03:42,730 --> 01:03:44,610 I'll miss you too, Kenan Thompson. 664 01:03:45,910 --> 01:03:46,910 Thank you. 665 01:03:47,390 --> 01:03:48,590 Friends and relations. 666 01:04:06,540 --> 01:04:07,720 My dear, 667 01:04:08,620 --> 01:04:10,860 come up here. 668 01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:14,600 Be with the one you love. 669 01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:20,380 Roger, you made it. Of course I wouldn't miss your last shift for the world. 670 01:04:22,380 --> 01:04:24,240 I can't believe you're retiring. 671 01:04:24,820 --> 01:04:26,480 I just wanted to go out on top. 672 01:04:26,820 --> 01:04:29,160 Oh, everyone knows you're a bottom, honey. 673 01:04:45,100 --> 01:04:50,800 There'll be no more sorrow, no grief and pain. 674 01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:58,000 And I'll be happy, happy once again. 675 01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:02,020 Oh, Rhonda, I should have come home earlier. 676 01:05:02,680 --> 01:05:06,240 I just feel so lucky that I ever got to work here. 677 01:05:06,780 --> 01:05:09,800 And I just wanted to enjoy it for a little bit longer. 678 01:05:17,610 --> 01:05:19,050 for me, especially my boss. 679 01:05:19,450 --> 01:05:20,670 Oh, your boss. 680 01:05:21,790 --> 01:05:22,810 There she is. 681 01:05:27,390 --> 01:05:30,430 It's the CEO of Ednog at Delta. 682 01:05:30,790 --> 01:05:31,970 Ma 'am, what an honor. 683 01:05:32,270 --> 01:05:37,430 Ma 'am, I just wanted to say it's been an honor working for you, and any 684 01:05:37,430 --> 01:05:39,730 I have after this will be thanks to this place. 685 01:05:40,210 --> 01:05:42,790 Before I go, do you have any feedback for me? 686 01:05:43,390 --> 01:05:44,390 Well, 687 01:05:45,290 --> 01:05:47,050 thought you were a little bit too gay. 688 01:05:48,950 --> 01:05:49,990 But you know what? 689 01:05:50,710 --> 01:05:52,050 You're perfect for me. 690 01:08:35,529 --> 01:08:36,529 Thank you. 52322

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