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1
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:19,539
(Breathing heavily)
2
00:00:29,258 --> 00:00:31,530
(Grunting)
3
00:00:40,848 --> 00:00:43,119
(Groaning)
4
00:01:01,723 --> 00:01:03,761
(Exhales)
5
00:01:10,975 --> 00:01:12,845
Oh, God.
6
00:01:17,723 --> 00:01:20,193
(Sighs)
7
00:01:27,989 --> 00:01:30,493
What the fuck?
8
00:01:35,368 --> 00:01:37,572
(Grunting)
9
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,164
(Groaning)
10
00:02:07,677 --> 00:02:08,862
(Yelps)
11
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:12,018
(Grunting)
12
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,724
(I a bored breathing)
13
00:02:21,336 --> 00:02:24,525
(Muffled):
Help! Help!
14
00:02:24,609 --> 00:02:28,500
Help!
Help!
15
00:02:28,584 --> 00:02:32,040
Help! Help!
16
00:02:32,124 --> 00:02:33,243
Help!
17
00:02:33,514 --> 00:02:35,784
(Groaning)
18
00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:38,905
[♪ ♪]
19
00:02:41,276 --> 00:02:43,547
(panting)
20
00:02:48,524 --> 00:02:50,794
(Exhaling)
21
00:03:05,324 --> 00:03:06,760
Okay.
22
00:03:08,163 --> 00:03:10,234
Okay.
23
00:03:11,703 --> 00:03:14,208
(Breathes deeply)
24
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,550
[♪ ♪]
25
00:03:35,017 --> 00:03:36,804
(beep)
26
00:03:36,888 --> 00:03:38,473
GENE:
Hello, Dr. Strauss.
27
00:03:38,557 --> 00:03:40,850
Uh, my name is Gene Bollinger.
28
00:03:40,935 --> 00:03:42,923
I was hoping
to get started in a course
29
00:03:43,007 --> 00:03:44,392
of psychotherapy.
30
00:03:44,476 --> 00:03:46,396
I thought you might be able
to help me
31
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,915
with some of my problems.
32
00:03:48,618 --> 00:03:50,170
So, uh, yeah.
33
00:03:50,254 --> 00:03:52,641
I guess I'll call you back,
uh, if that's okay.
34
00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:54,195
I'm a little hard to reach.
35
00:03:54,929 --> 00:03:57,368
Yeah, okay, thanks.
36
00:04:00,842 --> 00:04:03,113
(Machine beeps)
37
00:04:04,516 --> 00:04:05,902
(Phone beeps, dials)
38
00:04:05,986 --> 00:04:07,505
(line rings)
39
00:04:07,589 --> 00:04:10,344
SHOSHANA: Hi, it's Shoshana.
Leave a message.
40
00:04:10,428 --> 00:04:12,548
- (Beep)
- Hey, honey. It's Dad.
41
00:04:12,632 --> 00:04:13,717
Just checking in.
42
00:04:13,801 --> 00:04:15,721
I'm in sessions until 8:00.
43
00:04:15,805 --> 00:04:17,475
Bye-bye.
44
00:04:24,022 --> 00:04:26,159
What can I help you with, Gene?
45
00:04:28,864 --> 00:04:31,336
My dad beat the shit out of me.
46
00:04:32,452 --> 00:04:35,191
A lot, uh, when I was a kid.
47
00:04:36,813 --> 00:04:39,553
And I think it fucked me up.
48
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,358
That's a tough thing
to go through.
49
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,414
You said it fucked you up.
50
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,284
In what ways?
51
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:48,997
All ways.
52
00:04:49,082 --> 00:04:50,190
(Pants softly)
53
00:04:50,827 --> 00:04:52,417
Like I'm not content.
54
00:04:52,903 --> 00:04:54,934
I don't have a good social life.
55
00:04:55,118 --> 00:04:57,355
I get angry.
56
00:05:00,261 --> 00:05:03,534
That's the sort of thing
you help people with, right?
57
00:05:04,252 --> 00:05:06,122
Yes.
58
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,583
So, I read your book.
59
00:05:08,844 --> 00:05:10,231
Oh.
60
00:05:10,315 --> 00:05:12,401
- What'd you think?
- It was good.
61
00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:16,489
I thought, you know,
this guy is a real expert.
62
00:05:16,594 --> 00:05:17,712
Mm-hmm.
63
00:05:17,796 --> 00:05:19,449
Well, I've been doing it
a long time.
64
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,457
(Chuckles softly)
65
00:05:23,166 --> 00:05:25,403
[♪ ♪]
66
00:05:30,145 --> 00:05:32,292
COLLEEN:
I'm sorry for your loss.
67
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,059
That's what
normal people say, right?
68
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,818
ALAN: How does it feel
for you to say it?
69
00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,373
COLLEEN:
It just, um...
70
00:05:40,017 --> 00:05:42,538
...just seems like
what I hear people say.
71
00:05:43,012 --> 00:05:44,198
But I mean it.
72
00:05:44,508 --> 00:05:46,965
Well, that is
the important part.
73
00:05:49,659 --> 00:05:50,912
Gene, I wanted to ask you
74
00:05:50,996 --> 00:05:52,575
about your sunglasses.
75
00:05:52,942 --> 00:05:54,719
I think it might be
a good idea for you
76
00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:56,778
to take them off, so we can see
each other better.
77
00:05:56,863 --> 00:05:57,863
I have eye problems.
78
00:05:57,977 --> 00:05:59,696
ALAN:
Oh, what's wrong?
79
00:05:59,781 --> 00:06:01,217
GENE:
Light hurts them.
80
00:06:01,933 --> 00:06:03,552
They're oversensitive.
81
00:06:04,028 --> 00:06:05,708
You've seen a doctor about it?
82
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,678
Two doctors.
83
00:06:07,887 --> 00:06:10,292
[♪ ♪]
84
00:06:15,011 --> 00:06:16,998
(water running)
85
00:06:17,575 --> 00:06:19,002
Well, we're out of time.
86
00:06:19,497 --> 00:06:20,972
Isn't that my line?
87
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,809
(Water running)
88
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:25,648
I'm trying to take care
of your needs again, aren't I?
89
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:27,685
I think so.
90
00:06:27,769 --> 00:06:30,074
[♪ ♪]
91
00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:34,771
He hit me.
92
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:37,439
All the time.
93
00:06:37,524 --> 00:06:39,311
When you say "all the time,"
94
00:06:39,559 --> 00:06:42,794
could you be any more
specific about it?
95
00:06:42,879 --> 00:06:44,815
Pretty much all the time.
96
00:07:10,488 --> 00:07:12,291
(Baby fussing)
97
00:07:40,715 --> 00:07:42,752
[♪ ♪]
98
00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:08,319
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much.
99
00:08:08,403 --> 00:08:10,658
- Alan, welcome.
- ALAN: Chaim, how are you?
100
00:08:10,742 --> 00:08:11,759
Baruch Hashem.
101
00:08:11,843 --> 00:08:14,182
- You?
- I'm well, thanks.
102
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,504
- I'll be in the back.
- EZRA: Oh.
103
00:08:17,588 --> 00:08:19,141
Okay.
104
00:08:19,225 --> 00:08:21,730
- Hi, Ezra.
- Hi, Dad.
105
00:08:22,866 --> 00:08:24,786
It's Mom's guitar?
106
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:25,989
Mm-hmm.
107
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,792
I figured you should have it.
108
00:08:27,876 --> 00:08:30,648
You're the only one
in the family who plays, so...
109
00:08:34,155 --> 00:08:36,593
I don't play anymore.
110
00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:42,934
GENE: That's it, 'cause you'd expect
anybody to save their own ass,
111
00:08:43,019 --> 00:08:46,782
but he'd rather die
than use her as his excuse,
112
00:08:46,867 --> 00:08:49,101
- like, uh, disgrace her.
- ALAN: I think
113
00:08:49,186 --> 00:08:50,770
I have actually heard
that one before.
114
00:08:50,854 --> 00:08:52,908
Right, it's a classic.
115
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:54,913
(Chuckles)
116
00:08:55,144 --> 00:08:57,999
(Sighs deeply)
117
00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:01,918
You know, Gene,
I've been thinking.
118
00:09:02,223 --> 00:09:03,278
It's been a while
119
00:09:03,363 --> 00:09:05,257
since we started
talking together.
120
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:08,936
And I've noticed that...
121
00:09:09,659 --> 00:09:13,663
...you're not really
opening yourself up to me.
122
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,952
Whenever I ask
for stories or details,
123
00:09:17,068 --> 00:09:20,202
you have a tendency
to get kind of vague
124
00:09:20,441 --> 00:09:21,859
or you start telling me
125
00:09:21,944 --> 00:09:24,957
about country music songs
that you like.
126
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:29,548
And I've noticed
that I myself am feeling
127
00:09:29,632 --> 00:09:32,239
a little frustrated
by this process.
128
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,542
And I'm wondering
if you're feeling that as well.
129
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:40,154
Usually when one person feels
that way, it's kind of mutual.
130
00:09:42,485 --> 00:09:43,620
I don't know.
131
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:48,194
I guess it's not working
the way it did in your book.
132
00:09:48,537 --> 00:09:51,526
ALAN: Gene, in order
for this process to work,
133
00:09:51,921 --> 00:09:54,198
you have to be able
to tell me things
134
00:09:54,282 --> 00:09:56,820
that are not easy to tell.
135
00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:01,245
To be open and truthful.
136
00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,203
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
137
00:10:08,243 --> 00:10:11,217
'Cause I'm... I'm trying.
138
00:10:12,251 --> 00:10:14,163
I really... I'm trying.
139
00:10:16,493 --> 00:10:18,463
In my experience...
140
00:10:19,499 --> 00:10:21,350
...anyone who has come this far,
141
00:10:21,585 --> 00:10:24,850
who has made the choice
to come to therapy
142
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,991
and keep hammering away
at the hard things...
143
00:10:29,734 --> 00:10:31,370
...they can be helped.
144
00:10:37,042 --> 00:10:38,961
(Kettle whistling)
145
00:10:39,217 --> 00:10:41,850
Sportscaster speaking
indistinctly on TV...
146
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:56,156
(Wind whistling)
147
00:10:56,738 --> 00:10:59,242
(Clattering)
148
00:11:02,351 --> 00:11:04,305
(Dogs barking in distance)
149
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,377
(Clattering)
150
00:11:09,399 --> 00:11:12,271
(Dogs continue barking)
151
00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:17,461
(Rustling)
152
00:11:32,153 --> 00:11:34,925
(Rattling)
153
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,326
(Gasps)
154
00:12:01,615 --> 00:12:03,885
(Crows cawing in distance)
155
00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:15,358
[♪ ♪]
156
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,981
(clattering)
157
00:12:22,112 --> 00:12:24,749
(Urinating nearby)
158
00:12:37,108 --> 00:12:39,378
(Toilet flushing)
159
00:12:49,929 --> 00:12:52,651
I'm so sorry. I know this sucks.
160
00:12:52,782 --> 00:12:54,317
I'll be right back.
161
00:13:00,835 --> 00:13:03,105
(Door closes)
162
00:13:05,098 --> 00:13:07,771
(Door opens)
163
00:13:07,856 --> 00:13:08,941
(Door closes)
164
00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:11,626
Gene, what the hell's going on?
165
00:13:12,654 --> 00:13:14,271
I mean, what the fuck?!
166
00:13:14,404 --> 00:13:16,769
Let me out, let me out,
let me out of here.
167
00:13:16,853 --> 00:13:19,074
Let me out of here
right now, Gene!
168
00:13:19,474 --> 00:13:21,696
- Gene!
- You take it easy.
169
00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:25,516
Last night you were screaming.
170
00:13:26,037 --> 00:13:28,513
We're in the woods out here.
Nobody's around.
171
00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:34,804
I know how upset you are.
172
00:13:35,123 --> 00:13:37,109
Of course. Anybody would be.
173
00:13:37,194 --> 00:13:39,365
This isn't as bad as it seems.
174
00:13:41,236 --> 00:13:45,093
It's bad, I know it's bad, but
I just, I just need your help.
175
00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:46,246
Look...
176
00:13:47,248 --> 00:13:49,857
I don't know what you think
you're doing, but this...
177
00:13:49,942 --> 00:13:51,327
this...
(sighs)
178
00:13:51,412 --> 00:13:53,154
Unlock this goddamn chain.
179
00:13:53,239 --> 00:13:55,377
Right now. I mean it, Gene.
180
00:13:56,395 --> 00:13:58,231
Gene, listen,
you have to listen to me.
181
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:01,107
I realize that there's
something inside of you
182
00:14:01,255 --> 00:14:02,794
that's telling you
that this is a good idea...
183
00:14:02,878 --> 00:14:05,300
I know, it's-it's not exactly
that it's a good idea,
184
00:14:05,384 --> 00:14:06,170
I do realize that.
185
00:14:06,255 --> 00:14:08,572
But, you know,
I'm out of options,
186
00:14:08,657 --> 00:14:10,744
and I really think
if we can just talk,
187
00:14:10,828 --> 00:14:12,916
this will, this will be okay.
188
00:14:13,388 --> 00:14:14,986
- Okay-ish.
- I have to help you see
189
00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,806
that this is wrong.
190
00:14:17,842 --> 00:14:19,462
Scaring me like this is wrong.
191
00:14:19,546 --> 00:14:21,335
You have to see that.
I know you can see that.
192
00:14:21,419 --> 00:14:22,839
I do, I do, I know,
193
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:27,444
but... I wasn't getting
anywhere in therapy.
194
00:14:27,528 --> 00:14:29,613
You said so yourself, right?
195
00:14:29,698 --> 00:14:31,051
And I think that I know why.
196
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:32,687
You see, I-I couldn't...
197
00:14:32,771 --> 00:14:35,427
I couldn't really tell you
the truth in your office.
198
00:14:35,511 --> 00:14:37,231
But here, here... I can.
199
00:14:37,315 --> 00:14:38,560
No, no, no, no, no.
200
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,920
This-this-this isn't good
for either of us, Gene.
201
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,312
We have to go back to my office
and work through this together
202
00:14:44,396 --> 00:14:45,915
before this gets
more out of hand.
203
00:14:45,999 --> 00:14:49,321
These are leftovers from Maruti,
which is one of my favorites.
204
00:14:49,405 --> 00:14:51,125
It's surprisingly good
for breakfast.
205
00:14:51,209 --> 00:14:52,695
This is Chana palak.
206
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,225
Put some of this on it.
207
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,568
This is sabzi.
It's good with this one.
208
00:14:56,652 --> 00:14:58,287
For God's sake, Gene, Gene!
209
00:14:58,372 --> 00:14:59,640
My name's...
210
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,471
My name's actually Sam.
211
00:15:07,564 --> 00:15:08,734
Sorry.
212
00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:14,455
It's important to eat.
213
00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:16,699
I'm not gonna eat.
214
00:15:16,948 --> 00:15:18,683
Gene... Sam.
215
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:22,804
You have to listen to me.
216
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:23,941
I am listening.
217
00:15:24,175 --> 00:15:26,552
I am listening.
I know how to listen.
218
00:15:26,691 --> 00:15:28,427
I understand...
219
00:15:28,688 --> 00:15:30,775
...this is upsetting for you.
220
00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:32,240
I get that.
221
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:33,545
It's a little scary,
222
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:36,369
but this is the only way
that I could... I...
223
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,795
I need help. I want help.
224
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:43,249
I'm asking you for, for help.
225
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:45,295
You said therapy can't work
if I'm not truthful.
226
00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:46,569
I know that you're right, so...
227
00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:48,406
Mm-mm. No.
No, you don't understand.
228
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:51,011
I don't, I don't think you know
what you're doing to me.
229
00:15:51,095 --> 00:15:52,881
I realize it might take you
a little time
230
00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:54,242
to get used
to what's happening here.
231
00:15:54,326 --> 00:15:55,653
Whatever is troubling you,
232
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:58,026
we can address it, but not here.
233
00:15:58,110 --> 00:16:00,230
- Not like this.
- Dr. Strauss, I have much bigger problems
234
00:16:00,314 --> 00:16:01,816
than your other patients.
235
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,123
I have a compulsion...
236
00:16:07,765 --> 00:16:09,534
...to kill people.
237
00:16:14,485 --> 00:16:16,037
A compulsion?
238
00:16:18,591 --> 00:16:20,060
Yeah, I do it.
239
00:16:26,066 --> 00:16:28,334
- Sam...
- I don't mean just once or twice.
240
00:16:30,103 --> 00:16:32,307
Every once in a while I just...
241
00:16:33,355 --> 00:16:34,791
...do it.
242
00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:39,104
And this has gone on ever since,
243
00:16:39,423 --> 00:16:42,195
uh, for a long time.
244
00:16:42,763 --> 00:16:45,420
And I know I'm fucked up.
245
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,060
I've read all the books,
246
00:16:47,145 --> 00:16:50,357
almost everything about,
uh, people like me,
247
00:16:50,605 --> 00:16:53,068
people who do this stuff,
and I can't...
248
00:16:55,878 --> 00:16:57,331
I want to stop.
249
00:16:57,552 --> 00:17:00,162
And I'm trying so hard.
250
00:17:00,259 --> 00:17:01,778
I'm trying so hard right now,
251
00:17:01,863 --> 00:17:03,483
but there's this guy,
there's this one guy,
252
00:17:03,567 --> 00:17:04,953
and I just want to...
253
00:17:05,222 --> 00:17:07,287
for months now...
254
00:17:08,302 --> 00:17:09,804
Uh, but I've not done it.
255
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:11,996
'Cause I...
256
00:17:13,827 --> 00:17:15,052
Uh, because I can't.
257
00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:16,181
Now, you, I wish you knew
258
00:17:16,266 --> 00:17:17,817
what it was like
to live like this.
259
00:17:17,901 --> 00:17:19,588
It's not like what they say.
260
00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:21,244
Right? Where he's like a...
261
00:17:22,011 --> 00:17:23,965
Have you seen
Silence of the Lambs?
262
00:17:24,049 --> 00:17:26,602
Where he's like a robot.
(clears throat)
263
00:17:26,686 --> 00:17:28,123
It's not like that.
264
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:31,081
Gene.
265
00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:34,138
- Sam.
- Sam.
266
00:17:35,269 --> 00:17:36,822
Unlock this chain.
267
00:17:36,907 --> 00:17:39,394
I'm going to walk out of here
and go back to my office.
268
00:17:39,479 --> 00:17:41,616
No, we already tried that.
269
00:17:41,701 --> 00:17:43,135
It didn't work without me
telling you the truth.
270
00:17:43,219 --> 00:17:45,552
It will be different
now that I know the truth.
271
00:17:45,802 --> 00:17:48,412
You will come to my office
two, three days a week.
272
00:17:48,496 --> 00:17:50,483
I cannot help you like this.
273
00:17:50,567 --> 00:17:52,337
This is just going
to make it worse.
274
00:17:52,974 --> 00:17:53,925
Let me go.
275
00:17:54,010 --> 00:17:55,362
I know you'd have to turn me in.
276
00:17:55,447 --> 00:17:58,686
No, no, no, no, no.
I would not have to turn you in.
277
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,132
Legally, ethically,
278
00:18:01,389 --> 00:18:03,834
unless you told me you were
going to commit another crime,
279
00:18:03,919 --> 00:18:05,437
I can work with you.
280
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:07,920
Everything you've told me
so far is confidential.
281
00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:10,009
I am gonna commit another crime.
282
00:18:10,816 --> 00:18:12,886
(Exhaling)
283
00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:19,008
I know I'm not normal.
284
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,135
But I don't feel crazy.
285
00:18:21,994 --> 00:18:23,246
I'm not...
286
00:18:23,581 --> 00:18:25,301
(sighs)
287
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,925
I know this has to end, right?
This has to stop.
288
00:18:28,009 --> 00:18:30,947
I just, I don't know how.
289
00:18:34,088 --> 00:18:35,556
This is not the way.
290
00:18:36,296 --> 00:18:37,666
Well...
291
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,321
I'm sorry.
292
00:18:44,484 --> 00:18:46,204
Really, you're the best.
293
00:18:46,766 --> 00:18:49,785
I met with three different
Jewish therapists.
294
00:18:50,633 --> 00:18:52,286
I chose you.
295
00:18:52,636 --> 00:18:54,883
Uh-huh.
296
00:19:01,442 --> 00:19:03,713
[♪ ♪]
297
00:21:06,325 --> 00:21:08,763
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Media Access Group at WGBH
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