Original subtitles

(Breathing heavily)

(Grunting)

(Groaning)

(Exhales)

Oh, God.

(Sighs)

What the fuck?

(Grunting)

(Groaning)

(Yelps)

(Grunting)

(I a bored breathing)

(Muffled): Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help!

(Groaning)

[♪ ♪]

(panting)

(Exhaling)

Okay.

Okay.

(Breathes deeply)

[♪ ♪]

(beep)

GENE: Hello, Dr. Strauss.

Uh, my name is Gene Bollinger.

I was hoping to get started in a course

of psychotherapy.

I thought you might be able to help me

with some of my problems.

So, uh, yeah.

I guess I'll call you back, uh, if that's okay.

I'm a little hard to reach.

Yeah, okay, thanks.

(Machine beeps)

(Phone beeps, dials)

(line rings)

SHOSHANA: Hi, it's Shoshana. Leave a message.

- (Beep) - Hey, honey. It's Dad.

Just checking in.

I'm in sessions until 8:00.

Bye-bye.

What can I help you with, Gene?

My dad beat the shit out of me.

A lot, uh, when I was a kid.

And I think it fucked me up.

That's a tough thing to go through.

You said it fucked you up.

In what ways?

All ways.

(Pants softly)

Like I'm not content.

I don't have a good social life.

I get angry.

That's the sort of thing you help people with, right?

Yes.

So, I read your book.

Oh.

- What'd you think? - It was good.

I thought, you know, this guy is a real expert.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I've been doing it a long time.

(Chuckles softly)

[♪ ♪]

COLLEEN: I'm sorry for your loss.

That's what normal people say, right?

ALAN: How does it feel for you to say it?

COLLEEN: It just, um...

...just seems like what I hear people say.

But I mean it.

Well, that is the important part.

Gene, I wanted to ask you

about your sunglasses.

I think it might be a good idea for you

to take them off, so we can see each other better.

I have eye problems.

ALAN: Oh, what's wrong?

GENE: Light hurts them.

They're oversensitive.

You've seen a doctor about it?

Two doctors.

[♪ ♪]

(water running)

Well, we're out of time.

Isn't that my line?

(Water running)

I'm trying to take care of your needs again, aren't I?

I think so.

[♪ ♪]

He hit me.

All the time.

When you say "all the time,"

could you be any more specific about it?

Pretty much all the time.

(Baby fussing)

[♪ ♪]

- Thank you. - Thank you very much.

- Alan, welcome. - ALAN: Chaim, how are you?

Baruch Hashem.

- You? - I'm well, thanks.

- I'll be in the back. - EZRA: Oh.

Okay.

- Hi, Ezra. - Hi, Dad.

It's Mom's guitar?

Mm-hmm.

I figured you should have it.

You're the only one in the family who plays, so...

I don't play anymore.

GENE: That's it, 'cause you'd expect anybody to save their own ass,

but he'd rather die than use her as his excuse,

- like, uh, disgrace her. - ALAN: I think

I have actually heard that one before.

Right, it's a classic.

(Chuckles)

(Sighs deeply)

You know, Gene, I've been thinking.

It's been a while

since we started talking together.

And I've noticed that...

...you're not really opening yourself up to me.

Whenever I ask for stories or details,

you have a tendency to get kind of vague

or you start telling me

about country music songs that you like.

And I've noticed that I myself am feeling

a little frustrated by this process.

And I'm wondering if you're feeling that as well.

Usually when one person feels that way, it's kind of mutual.

I don't know.

I guess it's not working the way it did in your book.

ALAN: Gene, in order for this process to work,

you have to be able to tell me things

that are not easy to tell.

To be open and truthful.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this.

'Cause I'm... I'm trying.

I really... I'm trying.

In my experience...

...anyone who has come this far,

who has made the choice to come to therapy

and keep hammering away at the hard things...

...they can be helped.

(Kettle whistling)

Sportscaster speaking indistinctly on TV...

(Wind whistling)

(Clattering)

(Dogs barking in distance)

(Clattering)

(Dogs continue barking)

(Rustling)

(Rattling)

(Gasps)

(Crows cawing in distance)

[♪ ♪]

(clattering)

(Urinating nearby)

(Toilet flushing)

I'm so sorry. I know this sucks.

I'll be right back.

(Door closes)

(Door opens)

(Door closes)

Gene, what the hell's going on?

I mean, what the fuck?!

Let me out, let me out, let me out of here.

Let me out of here right now, Gene!

- Gene! - You take it easy.

Last night you were screaming.

We're in the woods out here. Nobody's around.

I know how upset you are.

Of course. Anybody would be.

This isn't as bad as it seems.

It's bad, I know it's bad, but I just, I just need your help.

Look...

I don't know what you think you're doing, but this...

this... (sighs)

Unlock this goddamn chain.

Right now. I mean it, Gene.

Gene, listen, you have to listen to me.

I realize that there's something inside of you

that's telling you that this is a good idea...

I know, it's-it's not exactly that it's a good idea,

I do realize that.

But, you know, I'm out of options,

and I really think if we can just talk,

this will, this will be okay.

- Okay-ish. - I have to help you see

that this is wrong.

Scaring me like this is wrong.

You have to see that. I know you can see that.

I do, I do, I know,

but... I wasn't getting anywhere in therapy.

You said so yourself, right?

And I think that I know why.

You see, I-I couldn't...

I couldn't really tell you the truth in your office.

But here, here... I can.

No, no, no, no, no.

This-this-this isn't good for either of us, Gene.

We have to go back to my office and work through this together

before this gets more out of hand.

These are leftovers from Maruti, which is one of my favorites.

It's surprisingly good for breakfast.

This is Chana palak.

Put some of this on it.

This is sabzi. It's good with this one.

For God's sake, Gene, Gene!

My name's...

My name's actually Sam.

Sorry.

It's important to eat.

I'm not gonna eat.

Gene... Sam.

You have to listen to me.

I am listening.

I am listening. I know how to listen.

I understand...

...this is upsetting for you.

I get that.

It's a little scary,

but this is the only way that I could... I...

I need help. I want help.

I'm asking you for, for help.

You said therapy can't work if I'm not truthful.

I know that you're right, so...

Mm-mm. No. No, you don't understand.

I don't, I don't think you know what you're doing to me.

I realize it might take you a little time

to get used to what's happening here.

Whatever is troubling you,

we can address it, but not here.

- Not like this. - Dr. Strauss, I have much bigger problems

than your other patients.

I have a compulsion...

...to kill people.

A compulsion?

Yeah, I do it.

- Sam... - I don't mean just once or twice.

Every once in a while I just...

...do it.

And this has gone on ever since,

uh, for a long time.

And I know I'm fucked up.

I've read all the books,

almost everything about, uh, people like me,

people who do this stuff, and I can't...

I want to stop.

And I'm trying so hard.

I'm trying so hard right now,

but there's this guy, there's this one guy,

and I just want to...

for months now...

Uh, but I've not done it.

'Cause I...

Uh, because I can't.

Now, you, I wish you knew

what it was like to live like this.

It's not like what they say.

Right? Where he's like a...

Have you seen Silence of the Lambs?

Where he's like a robot. (clears throat)

It's not like that.

Gene.

- Sam. - Sam.

Unlock this chain.

I'm going to walk out of here and go back to my office.

No, we already tried that.

It didn't work without me telling you the truth.

It will be different now that I know the truth.

You will come to my office two, three days a week.

I cannot help you like this.

This is just going to make it worse.

Let me go.

I know you'd have to turn me in.

No, no, no, no, no. I would not have to turn you in.

Legally, ethically,

unless you told me you were going to commit another crime,

I can work with you.

Everything you've told me so far is confidential.

I am gonna commit another crime.

(Exhaling)

I know I'm not normal.

But I don't feel crazy.

I'm not...

(sighs)

I know this has to end, right? This has to stop.

I just, I don't know how.

This is not the way.

Well...

I'm sorry.

Really, you're the best.

I met with three different Jewish therapists.

I chose you.

Uh-huh.

[♪ ♪]

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH