Original subtitles

TANNOY JINGLES

'Anyone waiting to sign up for shore excursions...'

CAMERA CLICKS

COLIN: Eve Fontaine, ladies and gentlemen,

the voice of the ship.

Big Christmas smiles, everyone. Ho, ho, ho!

One on our own. Oh, yeah.

Just you and the talent. That would be amazing.

We all need some stardust, my darling.

Oh, that one's perfect, Donna.

It's gonna look great on the socials.

I've been a fan since I was nine years old.

Mm. That's going back a bit.

She was probably the headline act on the Ark.

Thank you so much.

Well, I'm sure you've been through it since your diagnosis.

Primary biliary cholangitis. I know, it's a mouthful.

Her liver doesn't work any more. Right.

Everyone's been so kind - crowdfunded cruise, upgraded cabin.

Dinner at the captain's table.

And front-row seats to Eve's headline show later.

Thank you.

We really ought to be... Yes.

Can I...? Group hug?

Oh. Right. CAMERA CLICKS

Hey, you do look exhausted. A lie-down's gonna do you good.

Honestly, Bernie, stop fussing. You still haven't taken your pills.

Yeah, and listen, we need you on top form later

because it's the Christmas panto,

and yours truly here is playing Buttons.

THEY CHUCKLE

I suppose an hour wouldn't hurt. Yeah.

Catch you later for mulled wine and mince pies?

You will. Bye.

See you. Colin. A word.

Eve. The flowers in my dressing room have brought on my allergies.

I specifically requested no lilies.

All right. I must have missed that on the rider.

I'll speak to Hospitality for you. Yeah, and I'll need a massage

and a facial before this afternoon's soundcheck.

Already booked in with Ruchira. And no more fan meets.

These cruise ship plebs will be the death of me.

If she carries on like this, I swear, she's going overboard.

Let's wait until Christmas is over, shall we?

Oh, bring back Jack Grayling. All is forgiven. Mm.

I'm going on an adventure And I got a feeling

The sun's gonna shine Shine

The sun's gonna shine

I'm in love with the ocean

And I got a feeling I'm sailing tonight

Tonight, I'm sailing tonight

It's because of you

That I'll always remember

I'm going on an adventure With you on my mind

I'm going on an adventure

With you on my mind.

Alicante Port Authority have given us permission to start our approach.

We've got the wind with the tide,

so with any luck, we should be on schedule.

You've been out of sorts since we left Southampton.

Coming to work with lead in the shoes.

Christmas was always Jack's favourite time of year, so...

Since he left the ship, no-one's heard a peep from him.

Well, maybe that's for the best.

There is an excursion this afternoon to Santa Domenica -

the Christmas pilgrimage.

We're both due a little shore leave.

Could go together. I still have the logs to complete.

Perhaps a little festive downtime would do you the world of good.

TANNOY JINGLES

'Feliz Navidad, amigos.

'This is Colin, your cruise director,

'informing all guests that the ship has now arrived in sunny Alicante -

'perfect for some last-minute festive shopping.

'So why not grab a sombrero, crack open the cava?

'Because the countdown to Christmas starts here.'

TANNOY JINGLES

'We'd like to inform all guests of today's shopping mall deal -

'a 25% discount on all perfumes...'

That Eve Fontaine post has gone viral.

JAMIL: I hear the podcast has got quite a following.

Yeah. When Donna first found out she needed special treatment,

we set up a crowdfunding appeal for stem cell surgery out in Arizona.

Bernie's always been there for me, every step of the way.

What are best friends for, eh?

Here you are, Jamil. Fill that one up, will you?

And whatever these ladies want.

We're fine. I wouldn't mind a pineapple juice.

He's been all over her since the start of the cruise.

Didn't fancy dressing up as Santa, then?

Well, you know, I like to stand out from the crowd, don't I?

You're hardly gonna pull wearing that.

I'm young, free and single. Why doesn't that surprise me (?)

Hang on. I got you a little Christmas present.

You didn't have to do that. It's all right.

Hold that, will you?

Let's see what it looks like on you, shall we?

Thank you. It's lovely.

Beautiful. Listen, erm,

the lads are gonna go into town later for a few drinks.

But, I mean, I could swerve it, and me and you could maybe...

hang out for the afternoon.

She's busy today. HE SIGHS

The pilgrimage to Santa Domenica.

Bernie's still holding out for a Christmas miracle.

All right, well... if you change your mind...

All I wanted on this cruise was a bit of fun,

after everything I've been through.

You've only just met him, and he's already buying you fancy presents.

I'm just looking out for you. We'll be late for the tour.

BERNIE SIGHS Donna! Sorry.

BELLS TOLL

"The Sanctuary of Los Peregrinos was recently founded

"after a local girl, Thomasina Fernandez,

"was visited by the Blessed Virgin in one of the orange groves.

"She was entrusted to build a shrine

"where the sick and the injured might come to be healed."

Well, they're certainly packing in the faithful.

Laudetur Jesus Christus. CONGREGATION: Semper laudetur.

In saecula saeculorum.

BERNIE: Said a prayer for you this morning.

Miracles don't happen to people like me.

Nah. You gotta have faith, Don.

Oi-oi.

What happened to the pub crawl? The lads will cope without me.

I thought you could do with some moral support anyway.

Domine, miserere nobis.

Christe, miserere nobis.

Domine, miserere nobis.

Christe, audi nos.

KATE AND CONGREGATION: Ave, ave, ave Maria.

WHISPERS: It's been a while since we spent any time together.

There's no reason we can't still be friends.

As we celebrate Christmas with communion and prayer,

I would like to invite the sick and indisposed to step forward

for a blessing at the Shrine of Our Lady.

Mater Christi, ora pro nobis.

Mater divinae gratiae, ora pro nobis.

CONGREGATION: Ave, ave.

Santa Maria, ruega por nosotros.

Santa madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros.

Thank you, Father. It was lovely.

It was a beautiful service. Thank you.

Perhaps a small donation?

For the upkeep of the church. Yes.

BERNIE: When are you gonna realise she isn't interested?

Donna tell you that, did she? I know a chancer when I see one.

Let's get it right. Donna setting herself up

with a decent-looking fella has put your nose right out of joint.

You really think she'd settle for a loser like you?

She's out of your league, Jason. Is everything all right?

Doctors think she's gonna need a transplant.

Vomiting, jaundice, swollen ankles.

You really fancy taking all that on, yeah?

Thought not.

WHISPERS: Idiot.

You all right? Yeah.

Frankie! You haven't seen a couple of small shepherds, have you?

Robes, sandals... I know what they look like, Colin.

Oh, it's absolute carnage in Bethlehem.

All the kids are high on sugar.

You wanted to see me? Oh, yeah.

I just wanted to run through some changes to your setlist.

There's been a couple of festive additions.

I can't cope with these last-minute changes, Colin.

It's highly unprofessional.

Eve, there you are. Richard.

I was just checking that you're still on for lunch.

Un Chicharito, where the paella is to die for.

Well, she'll be busy rehearsing.

Lunch would be perfect, if you're sure you can spare the time.

Five hours' shore leave and the pleasure of your delightful company.

You spoil me, you know that? I know. Shall we?

Let's remember who's top of the bill, eh?

Not... a word.

BELL TOLLS, KATE MUTTERS

You OK?

Just needed to sit down. Must've been overdoing things.

All right, well, let's get you back to the ship, shall we?

Erm, I'm fine.

I think I'd rather the doctor check you over, if that's all right.

We'd better get a move on, or we'll miss this bus.

Where is Bernie?

She said she wanted to see the Ignatius Chapel.

I can wait with Donna.

All right, well, erm, we'll see if we can find her, yeah?

You all right, Don? Yeah.

Sure? Yeah.

SOFT CLATTERING

HUSHED VOICES

Quien esta alli?

BELL TOLLS

Excuse me! Wait!

Kate.

Oh, my God. Madre de Dios.

CAMERA CLICKS

KATE: I saw a nun in the cloister just before we found the body.

She was running off towards the abbey.

The sisters often frequent the cloisters

as they go about their daily business.

Well, I just think, the sooner we talk to her...

Thomasina has taken a vow of silence.

No-one outside the convent is permitted to speak to her.

Thomasina? The child that saw the visions?

The abbey has offered her sanctuary -

a life devoted to the service of Christ.

I've given the police a statement. They know how to find us.

Did this woman have any family on the boat?

She was travelling with her best friend, yeah.

Then, please, pass on my sincere condolences.

CAMERA CLICKS

I'm going to give you a thorough check-up,

bearing in mind your condition.

I'm feeling much better already.

Well, you've had one hell of a shock.

We are gonna run a few tests just to be on the safe side, hm?

I still can't believe Bernie's dead.

Can you think of anyone that she's fallen out with?

Anyone that might be holding a grudge?

Well, she might have rubbed a few people up the wrong way,

but Bernie had a good heart.

Perhaps this isn't the time.

Yeah, sure. I should get back to work.

Thank you. I don't mind staying.

I'd rather be on my own.

All right?

She'd been gone 20 minutes,

and somebody attacked her and left her for dead.

It doesn't make any sense.

There's always a motive for murder. You just need to look for it.

That's what Jack always said.

Yeah, well, in case you hadn't noticed, Jack isn't here, so...

Uh... What if I told you I knew where to find him?

Just here.

So, you're telling me he's been here in Alicante the whole time?

Jack swore me to secrecy.

Oh, that's just typical of Jack Grayling, isn't it?

Running away, as per usual. Here.

Are you sure this is the right place?

INSIDE: I got a feeling...

I'd recognise that voice anywhere. Come on.

I'm in love with you

And then I got a feeling I'm sailing tonight

It's because of you

That I'll always remember

I'm going on an adventure With you on my mind.

Thank you so much, everybody. WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Have a wonderful Christmas.

Jamil! Jack!

Mate, I have missed you so much.

What about me, Jack?

Did you miss me?

OK. I thought you might have been dead, Jack.

Instead, you've been hiding away here on some pirate-ship theme bar.

I've been working my backside off just trying to make ends meet.

Will you both put a sock in it?

A passenger was murdered this morning, Jack.

We need your help to solve it.

Oh, so, that's why the pair of you were here?

Well, I haven't come to kiss and make up.

OK, look, let's take a second, yes?

We can fill you in on what we know.

The victim's name was Bernadette Campbell.

She was on a crowdfunding cruise with her best friend,

Donna Branning.

They'd gone to visit the shrine at Santa Domenica.

Piers and I were there when we found the body.

With Piers.

Look, let's just stick to the case, yeah?

Any suspects?

One of the nuns from the convent.

I saw her running from the cloister shortly after the murder.

You're seriously suggesting a nun might have killed her?

All right, I know it sounds far-fetched.

But we need to rule her out.

We?

Yes. First thing tomorrow,

we go to the village and see if she'll talk to us.

All right, fine. But this is strictly business.

SHE EXHALES, SNIFFS

TANNOY JINGLES

'This is Colin, your cruise director,

'AKA Santa's Little Helper.

'And what a packed Christmas Eve stocking

'we've got lined up for you today.'

Oh. What?

Jason doesn't seem himself today.

Well, that might be something to do with

the argument he had with Bernie.

You think he might have taken out the competition?

I don't know.

Look, why don't you speak to some of his friends today,

see what you can find out?

Yeah? Yeah.

Good luck with Jack today.

Uh, at-at the convent, I mean. Yeah.

DONNA: 'So, an update from sunny Arizona.

'And the bad news is my stem cell treatment hasn't worked.

'Graft failure.

'Right now, I feel angry, scared... disappointed.

'But we keep going. We keep the faith.'

Wasn't sure you'd come.

Well, there's still a murder to solve.

Well, just as long as you don't go hitting me again.

I've been reading up on Bernie's best friend, Donna.

That treatment she's been having in Arizona must have cost a fair bit.

Well, I think she raised all the money on crowdfunding.

Look, you've got every right to be mad at me.

It was six months, Jack. Not a word.

You didn't even reply to my messages.

Let me explain.

I think we should get to the convent.

BELL RINGS

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH, DOOR OPENS

Buenos dias, senora. Nos gustaria hablar con la Hermana Thomasina.

No!

Great (!) Any more bright ideas?

I just wanted to apologise.

I was out of order, what I said to Bernie yesterday.

I can't do this right now, Jason. No, I didn't mean what I said.

You can't talk to people like that.

Let me make it up to you. No strings attached.

You can't be on your own for Christmas

after everything that's happened.

Well, I could do with a date for the show tonight.

I didn't think you'd still be going.

Eve promised to dedicate a song to Bernie.

Right, well, I'll knock for you around seven.

BELLS TOLL

Kate...

..when I left the ship, I lost everything.

The job I loved, the girl I fell for.

We could have made it work, Jack. People do.

No, I know, but I couldn't just sit around

and count down the days till I saw you next,

then watch you sail off again.

It would have broken me.

Jack...

Thomasina... METALLIC CLATTERING

Te acuerdas de mi? They warned me not to talk to you.

So much for the vow of silence.

The woman that was killed yesterday, her name was Bernadette.

I don't know anything about that.

Then why did you run when I saw you in the cloister?

I wanted to watch the Mass of Supplication.

I'm not supposed to leave the convent.

They keep me locked up here ever since the apparition.

A martyr for Christ. Did you see anybody else

in the cloister? DOOR OPENS

For this is the blood of the covenant that was poured out

for many for the forgiveness of sins. Thomasina!

Llevala dentro. Tienes que enviar ayuda.

A su habitacion. Sujetadla. Wait!

Please don't let them hurt me! Ayudame!

This child belongs to Christ now.

JACK: Thomasina told us that she was being held here against her will.

Nonsense. She can leave at any time.

You gave instructions to restrain her.

Recently, she has become... volatile -

the pressure of her new-found elevation.

But the convent is the safest place for her.

Locked up, out of harm's way.

I have taken on the role of her protector.

These visions that Thomasina claims to have seen...

..you must have had your doubts.

The Pope himself has pronounced it a genuine miracle,

and His Holiness is infallible.

Where were you at the time of the murder?

If you don't mind me asking, Father.

Disrobing in the sacristy.

I have an imminent meeting at the ayuntamiento,

in view of recent unfortunate events.

I'm sure you can find your own way out.

Thomasina's miracle.

Her accounts of the visions were questioned by people in the village.

They claimed she was subject to religious delusions.

She spent some time in a clinic for bipolar disorder.

Does it make her a killer? No, I know that.

Rodriguez is all set to become a monsignor

for services to the Church.

If these visions were exposed as a scam...

He'd have an awful lot to lose, yeah.

Still doesn't explain why Bernie was murdered, though.

Maybe she stumbled across something that he was desperate to hide.

PHONE BUZZES, RINGS

Jamil. JAMIL: 'Hey.'

So, how's it going with Kate?

Yeah, she's here with me now on speakerphone.

Oh. Yes, uh...

So, uh, I have spoken to the lads,

and I thought you both might want a update on Jason Agnew.

The passenger that had an argument with Bernie.

Oh. 'Yes.'

Well, he's very much married, but estranged from his wife.

He's behind with his maintenance payments.

His window-cleaning business went bust during COVID.

And he is up to his eyeballs in debt.

OK, well, thank you very much for the update,

and we'll check in with you later.

Yes. OK.

Bye, guys. Bye.

HE SIGHS

How much money has Donna's charity raised?

The Giving For Wishes page? Yes.

Way over a hundred grand in donations.

Maybe Jason was after more than a Christmas fling.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Oh, no. I am not stepping foot on that ship.

Jack, you never even said goodbye.

Marlowe didn't even give me a choice,

and if you seriously think he'd ever let me back on board...

Not in a million years.

With all due respect, Captain, if Jack can help us solve this,

it would literally only mean a few hours on board.

It was crime-solving

that got him thrown off the ship in the first place.

We should leave this to the Spanish police.

I knew this was a bad idea.

Look, Donna Branning has half a million followers on social media.

When they find out that her best friend was murdered...

On a crowdfunded Christmas cruise.

I think that head office would want this resolving as soon as possible.

And how will they feel

about allowing a disgraced entertainer back on board?

Thank you, Mr de Vreese. I am aware of the ramifications.

Look, Jack was dismissed as a member of the crew.

There's nothing to stop him embarking as a passenger.

Look, as soon as the ship sails, I'm gone.

We sail at eight o'clock sharp.

Which only leaves you five hours to find Bernie Campbell's killer.

The captain's asked me to look into Bernie's murder.

Jack used to be a police officer.

Well, I'm not sure there's anything else I can tell you.

How long have you known Jason Agnew?

Couple of weeks.

We met at the start of the cruise.

Oh! Well, he's a fast mover, then.

Well, he was already following me on social media.

I feel like I've known him forever.

I got the feeling that you and Jason were at odds yesterday.

Bernie had warned him off.

She could get a bit jealous sometimes.

Did he ever ask you about the crowdfunding money?

Well, he was worried that Bernie might try and take advantage,

but I told him she'd never do that.

Jason wasn't with you when we found you outside the church yesterday.

You any idea where he went?

Well, he was angry at Bernie. Said she'd humiliated him.

I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn't listen.

Stormed off into the village.

TANNOY JINGLES

'A reminder to any passengers wishing to take advantage

'of this afternoon's introductory special offer...'

Bit of me-time away from the kids.

These Christmas cruises can take it out of you.

Sorry, do I know you?

Er, sorry. I'm Jack Grayling. I just came aboard.

My kids are at home with their mum for Christmas, and...

Oh. When were you planning on telling Donna?

Well, just cos I haven't told Donna about my ex-missus...

I mean, my marriage has been done for months.

And you needed to keep the maintenance payments up.

The money that Donna raised for her treatment,

that must have been quite an attractive proposition.

Are you trying to say that I'm using Donna as some sort of meal ticket?

Well, Bernie had you down as a bit of a chancer.

Maybe she had every right to be concerned.

And what's that supposed to mean?

You weren't with Donna yesterday when we found her.

You want to tell us where you were?

Well, I went for a walk to clear my head.

Did you walk anywhere near the Ignatius Chapel? No!

Look... I've made some really big mistakes in my life, all right?

I lost my business, my wife, my kids.

Why am I telling you anyway? You wouldn't understand.

You'd be surprised.

Look, I like Donna, OK?

I wanna do right by her. But with Bernie out of the picture.

Bernie warned me off, I walked away.

That's the last time I saw her, all right?

CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS

Whoa! No! Stop! Stop! MUSIC STOPS

Dance Yourself Dizzy has always been my encore.

Well, it's a Christmas Eve concert,

which is why Frosty The Snowman will be sending them home.

I know my audience, Colin.

Yes, and it's my job to keep them happy.

With that tired old shtick you call a warm-up act? Do me a favour.

Just because you got your claws into Marlowe...

The captain recognises talent when he sees it.

HE SCOFFS

He's the only one who doesn't think you're past it.

You do know I was offered the Blackpool Grand?

Oh, come off it, Eve.

It was this or it was panto in Huddersfield -

the Wicked Queen.

Well, it takes one to know one, Colin.

So why don't you "schtick" to your Christmas karaoke?

Leave the real entertainment to the pros.

Pros? You're a washed-up two-bit cabaret act.

When you're ready to apologise, I shall be in my dressing room.

KNOCKS ON DOOR Come in.

DOOR OPENS

How's my favourite cruise ship doctor? Jack!

HE CHUCKLES

Jamil told me you're back. Little query we need help with.

What can you tell us about chlorpromazine?

Uh, it's prescribed as an anti-psychotic,

works by suppressing the dopamine levels.

You said Thomasina had been treated for bipolar disorder. Yeah.

I'm not sure where all of this is going, Jack.

Well, she told us that she couldn't remember anything.

Well, clearly, she was lying.

Memory wipeout - a common symptom of a psychotic episode.

We need to get back to the village. Thank you.

Thank you.

CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS

KNOCKS ON DOOR

Thought you might like some herbal tea.

Oh! Good for calming the constitution.

Why does everyone on this ship seem to hate me, Jamil?

No, I'm sure that's not true.

You know what they say about cruise ships.

You're either on your way up, or you're on your way down.

Two hours of show tunes in high heels and spandex,

performing to a crowd wearing leisurewear.

I will shout from the back of the theatre.

And you must know my voice is shot.

The doctor found some nodules.

He's recommended surgery.

I've been trying to hide it for weeks now.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I'm planning on jumping ship.

Did you tell Colin about this?

He's been out to undermine me since I started this gig.

Oh, no. I'm sure if you talk to him, you both can call a truce.

It's a bit late for that, love.

Show's over.

KATE: You never told us that Thomasina was sectioned as a child.

It was none of your concern.

The miracle she witnessed -

an episode brought on by her schizophrenia.

A secret the Church has tried to cover up.

And if it ever came to light that you were party to a hoax...

Schizophrenia is a terrible affliction.

A troubled soul possessed by demons.

I was telling you the truth

when I told you that I was trying to protect her.

Then tell us what really happened.

I found her in the chapel.

SHE PRAYS ALOUD

'Her eyes were focused on a vision, one that she alone could see.'

Thomasina... SHE GASPS

'I should never have reached out to her.'

Thomasina, donde vas?

DOOR OPENS, SHUTS

'I followed her outside...

'..and saw her running away, towards the convent.'

Thomasina?

So, in her confused mental state, Thomasina attacked Bernie?

Thomasina had never been violent...

..even when she is lost to us.

So why have you been lying to us?

She came to me that evening...

..to offer up a confession.

I swear before Christ, she was already dead when I found her.

'She was lying in the cloister, bleeding from a wound to her head,

'the crucifix on the ground beside her.

'It was then I saw the necklace.

'I picked it up. I don't know why.

'I knelt down beside her.

'There was blood everywhere.'

I'm not sure how I got back to my room,

but when I came to,

I was sitting on the bed,

and this was in my pocket.

I found it lying on the ground beside the body.

So, either the necklace was Bernie's,

someone ripped it off in a struggle...

Or the killer was a woman. Which rules out Jason Agnew.

Jack!

Jack. Just give us a moment, please.

There's something you need to know. What is it?

How did you find this?

It was left behind at the murder scene.

Jamil?

I think I know who killed Bernie.

Donna posted this video blog two months ago. Here. Mm-hm.

'So, they've called me in for my pre-op tests.

'Let's hope I get through this one without any complications.'

Mm, the placement of the NG nose tube is too far in.

No medical professional would have inserted it that way.

Oh.

When I checked Donna over yesterday,

she seemed a little reluctant to have any tests,

so I did a bit of investigating of my own.

Her blood test results came back this afternoon.

The numbers made surprising reading.

No indicators of any disease.

I looked up her condition.

People with BPC don't just get better.

Spontaneous remission.

There have been some recorded cases, but... it's unlikely.

Unless she was never ill at all.

I still need some more tests, just to be sure, but...

We should be celebrating. It's like a Christmas miracle.

Well, Champagne on the house.

Thank you. Thank you.

This might not be the right timing, but, erm...

I just wonder, when we get back, if you, er...

might wanna make a go of things.

I'd like that, Jason. OK.

Really, I would.

Well, Bernie was right. Keep the faith.

Shame she's not here to enjoy the moment,

after everything she's done for you.

I'm sure all your crowdfunders will be keen to hear an update,

after all that money you've scammed out of them.

Sorry? You've... You've lost me.

The evidence that ties you to Bernie's murder.

We just couldn't figure out why.

Then Dr Tan filled me in on those blood test results,

and things started to make more sense.

I called that clinic in Arizona.

They had no record of you ever being a patient there.

Donna?

You lied... about everything.

I swear I was ill.

I really thought it was something serious,

and my GP referred me to a specialist.

Bernie being Bernie, she said she'd come with me.

Like any good friend would.

Well, they gave me the all-clear,

and when I saw her waiting outside, I...

I told her they were starting me on a course of treatments.

Why did you lie, Donna?

It made me feel special.

Hang on a minute. What, you made all this up for a bit of attention?

And those lies just got bigger, didn't they?

Your blog, your podcast, your followers online.

How could I tell them the truth?

Those hospital visits must have taken some planning.

There's a meds room at work.

It's easy to buy all that stuff online.

And Bernie didn't suspect a thing.

She wanted to believe it as much as I did.

What did you say to Jason? What?

He's the first guy who's shown any interest,

but suddenly, I'm in the way?

You smother me, Bernie!

Because your own life is sad and empty.

I've spent the past six months looking after you.

And this is the thanks I get?

All those trips to the hospital, the late-night phone calls.

I made it all up.

The diagnosis, the illness - it's all lies.

This is fraud, Donna.

We could both go to prison.

All those people that we've lied to!

Which is why we keep this between us.

No-one else needs to know.

And you say that MY life is empty?

You think you can just walk away?

Yeah, I do, because we are done.

This is done.

You'd be nothing without me. You know that.

By the time I'm finished,

everyone is gonna know what you've done.

DONNA GRUNTS, THUDS

'I couldn't let her ruin everything.'

Surely you can see that.

We can wait for the police in your cabin.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

OK, so, I might have said a few things in the heat of the moment.

"Washed-up two-bit cabaret act".

Well, I'm sure we can get past it.

Does that mean I get an apology?

This ship isn't big enough for the both of us, Colin.

Well, you're looking at a blatant breach of contract.

Then sue me, twinkle toes. SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY

Ugh.

DOOR OPENS

JAMIL: Oh. I was hoping to catch Jack.

He's gone back to his bar. Said he had a show to do.

But it's not long until the ship sails.

Yeah, and I still have these manifests to complete.

You're supposed to be together... more then any two people I know.

That's an admirable sentiment, Jamil.

But Jack's quite right. The ship will survive without him.

We are missing our headline singer.

Go and get him.

TAPPING ON MICROPHONE, FEEDBACK WHINES

That day you left the ship, I could have come with you.

Give up the dream of your own command?

I never would have asked you to do that, Kate.

You think you've got me all figured out, don't you?

I know you better than anyone.

Look, our headline act for tonight has gone AWOL,

Colin is in the middle of a breakdown,

and we don't have a singer for tonight's Christmas show.

And you thought I might fit the bill?

Piers has already cleared it with Marlowe.

Not that he had much of a choice.

And what about you, Kate?

Do you forgive me?

Well, that depends.

On what?

It depends on if you're planning on sticking around.

There's no more second chances, Jack.

The ship sails in less than an hour.

What makes you think I'll be on it?

Because I'm not leaving without you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

COLIN: Oh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

There are only four hours till Christmas.

Are we all excited? CHEERING

Good, good. Well, listen, I hate to be the Christmas Grinch,

but unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances,

Eve Fontaine will not be performing for us tonight.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

I know, but fear not, because we have got

a star turn replacement for you, back where he belongs.

He's the voice of the ship.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one, the only,

Mr Jack Grayling. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Baby, if you've got to go away

Don't think I could take the pain Stay now, stay now

Won't you stay another day? Stay now, stay now

Oh, don't leave me alone like this

Don't you say it's the final kiss Stay now, stay now

Won't you stay another day? Stay now, stay now

Don't you know We've come too far now

Just to go and try To throw it all away

Thought I heard you say You love me

And that your love

Was gonna be here to stay

Stay now Baby, if you've got to go away

Don't think I could take the pain

Won't you stay another day?

Stay now Oh, don't leave me alone like this

Don't you say it's the final kiss

Won't you stay another day?

Thought I might find you here. Mm.

Just counting down the minutes to Christmas Day.

It's good to have you home. It's good to be home.

Good times we had Return to haunt me

Though it's for you All that I do seems to be wrong...

JAMIL CHUCKLES

Stay now Baby, if you've got to go away

Don't think I could take the pain

Won't you stay another day?

Stay now Oh, don't leave me alone like this

Don't you say it's the final kiss

Won't you stay another day?

Stay now. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

HORN BLARES

The game's afoot, Jamil.

KATE: We just need to narrow it down. Who had a motive?

Their alibi is a sham.

Fancy playing detectives? Now you're talking.

I said stop!

The next mistake, it could endanger the passengers.

Can't you two go anywhere without someone getting murdered?

You thought you'd run away now

From the troubles in your life

And watch a new horizon In the sky

Now the truth's caught up With you forever

It's waiting for you

In the deep blue.

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