Original subtitles

Oh! Joe, you didn't have to make me breakfast

just 'cause it's my birthday.

Oh, no, I'm not falling for that.

My ears are still ringing from when I got you

that Hoover vacuum back in '92.

Honey, what is that?

An omelette.

Ooh, I was way off.

Besides, baby, you've done enough

getting me these beautiful pearls.

You know, I started to order them off the TV

but then I thought my Flo is worth

me putting on my pants and making a trip to the mall.

Oh!

Daddy, you're using up all my glitter on grandma's present.

You're a boy.

You got no business with glitter in the first place.

Besides, you know grandma took us in

and she's always supported my career.

And she's the reason that grandpa and I

haven't killed each other.

Yet.

Why didn't you spend any money on her?

Tuga, it's not about spending money.

It's about giving a gift from the heart.

And if I put enough glitter on it, it won't look too cheap.

What is it?

It's a certificate that entitles Flo Anderson

to a picnic in the park with her very special boy.

But I don't want to go on a picnic.

You know, you were a lot cuter before you could talk.

You are going to love what I'm giving your mom

for her birthday. I'm taking her

for a picnic under the stars

at the Hollywood Bowl. Ray Charles is playing

and afterwards we're going backstage

so Mrs. A can get his autograph. isn't it great?

You're gonna need a lot more glitter.

? They say the apple don't fall too far from the tree ?

? Whoever came up with that one must have not heard about me ?

? Papa used to say he couldn't understand ?

? Mama must have been spending time with the milkman ?

? But in one... ?

? They've rubbed off the other ?

? Just step by step, day by day ?

? They can't stop the brother ??

Oh! What a great day this is.

I can't wait to show Ray Charles my new pearls.

Uh, mama, Mr. Charles is gonna have to hear

about your new pearls.

Well, let's see now, baby, I got you the pearls.

Lydia's taking you to the Hollywood Bowl.

Tuga made you a real cute card.

Who's missing?

Me? What me?

Come on, pops, I ain't forgot my mama's birthday.

Man, give me some credit

Banks don't, why should I?

Because the bank didn't pull mom off here

when she was choking you with that Hoover cord.

So, what did you get her then? An invisible car.

An invisible yacht, an imaginary meat coat?

Mama, I got you a great gift.

I'm gonna have to give it to you later.

Because it's so special.

Don't tell me the imaginary UPS truck got delayed.

Guess what I'm imagining now, pops.

Don't, guess.

[instrumental music]

? Happy birthday to me ?

? I love my birthday ?

Oh, yeah! I still got it!

Now, let me show you what I got for my birthday.

I got the pearls from Joe.

[whooping]

And look what Lydia gave me.

And look what my Tuga booger made for me.

And look what Anthony got her.

In case you all ever wondered what cricket sounded like

that's it, in stereo.

Baby, don't you pay your father no mind.

Moving back home is the best gift a mother could have.

For my birthday, you can get me the opposite.

So you just assume you're gonna make it that far, huh?

Oh, look at the time it's almost noon.

I wonder what I'm doing for lunch.

Birthday lunch, Mrs. A.

We're taking you out for a birthday lunch.

Oh, you don't have to do that, baby.

Oh, if we know what's good for us, we do, so..

How about we go to Denny's?

Already made reservations at The Grill.

Oh, this is such a surprise!

(Flo) 'Come on.'

Too bad.

I was gonna ask Flo if she wanted to go to the track

for a birthday lunch, but..

...oh well, I guess it's just me.

Tuga, come help daddy.

You know, I gotta find something for grandma's birthday.

You know, maybe I could buy her clippers.

You're gonna give grandma clippers for her birthday?

Bad idea?

Just don't give them to her

when I'm in the room.

You look through that and tell me what you find.

Oh, hey, son, you think grandma would

recognize this if I wrapped it up?

Isn't that what you gave her for christmas?

Yeah, but this time I think I'll sign it.

Who's this?

Oh, hey, that's a picture of your grandma from the '70s.

Is she singing?

Yep, she was in a band. Three gents and a lady.

She was the lady, at least on stage.

Was she good?

Oh, man, your grandma was great.

Hey, she could have been a big star too.

She traveled the world.

Made the top 40.

Only to fall out of favor during the disco era.

But, but rediscovered when one of her records was used

in one of those movies where white people

try to recapture their youth.

As you can see, I had a lot of time thinking about that one.

Why'd she quit?

Well, it's a little story I like to call 'Joe the dream killer.'

You know, grandpa didn't want grandma to tour.

So he made her choose between him and the band. She chose him.

The band got a new singer and she got an old buzzard.

[laughing]

I would have chosen grandpa, too

Oh, remember that when you're 17

and he ask your prom date if she lost a bet.

Hey, I know exactly what I'm gonna get

your grandma for her birthday

Get her an invisible watch.

You've been spending way too much time with your granddad.

[instrumental music]

Wait, you want to reunite your mom with her old singing group?

Yep.

Anthony, that is a great idea.

Yeah, wouldn't that be a great birthday gift?

I mean, one last night on stage in the spotlight.

Yeah, it'll be just like getting the Beatles back together.

Only with people no one's ever heard of.

What are you doing?

Oh, you're messing up

your mama's old pictures for her birthday.

How thoughtful.

No, Anthony's trying to reunite Mrs. A

with her old group "The Gents" as a present.

What you doing that for?

Because it's nice.

You know what? Let me put it in terms that you can understand.

You know that rush you get when you yell

at the neighborhood kids to stop

playing on your lawn?

Yeah.

That's how normal people feel when they do something nice.

No, that's not it, Anthony. You don't have any money.

So you come up with this cockamamie scheme

to make yourself look good.

Son, why don't I just loan you a few bucks

so you can go out and buy your mother a real gift.

Hey, man, mama loves singing

and reuniting her with her old band is a real gift.

No, Anthony, the pearls I bought her. That's a real gift.

Oh, yeah, those are some great pearls, Mr. A.

Hey, what did I tell you about taking his side?

Hey, the girl can take anybody's side she wants.

Hey, the girl doesn't know what she's talking about.

Okay. First of all, the girl is a woman.

And the woman is going upstairs.

I see that loud and louder are just getting warmed up.

You're loud.

All I'm saying is your mama don't need

all that nonsense dredged up.

So leave it alone.

Oh, I see what this is.

You don't want your wife to be reminded

how you killed her dream.

I did not kill anybody's dream.

Now, Anthony, for once listen to your father and let it go.

Man, what are you talking about?

All I ever do is listen to you.

every audition I go on every time

I come close to getting something

whose voice do you think I hear in my head

telling me it's not going to happen?

Okay, sometimes it's mush mouth from Fat Albert

but most of the time it's you.

Mostly, it's right.

See that's what I'm talking about, pops!

Mom is an artist like me.

We're like wildflowers

blooming in the field and you're like King Kong

stomping us down on your way to get a beer.

I don't know why I'm arguing with you.

You're never gonna find the members of her old group.

Why, you can't even find your shoes in the morning.

I don't know if that's a fat joke or not, man.

But it's definitely a challenge

and I rise, old man.

I rise. And you know what?

I'm gonna find the members of that group

and I'm gonna give mama the best night ever

and we're gonna have so much fun even you're gonna smile.

You're gonna smile so much, it's gonna put you in a coma.

and when you wake up, you're gonna say, 'Huh, you did it!'

[chuckles]

I'm sorry. Did you say something?

I must have fallen asleep while you were talking.

Well, let me give you the highlights.

Gift, smile, coma

and my mama loves me more than she loves you.

[instrumental music]

Oh, uh, I'm sorry to hear that. Bye.

Well, Clarence, the drummer's dead.

Alright. Well, what about Tyrone?

Oh, Tyrone's in jail for killing Clarence.

Well, we still have this bald guy left.

His name is Roscoe Deeks.

Oh! Well, let's hope Roscoe's a free man

and he ain't got on Tyrone's bad side.

[instrumental music]

Oh, oh, oh! Before I forget, Mr. A

here's my rent check.

I added on a little extra because I feel so guilty

about all the meals that you and Mrs. A

have been letting me eat here lately.

Well, first of all, God bless you.

And second of all, would you mind repeating

that when Minnie The Moochie gets here?

Anthony, get out here!

Hey, pops, you're out of roast beef, man

you might want to get on that.

Lydia has something to tell you.

Uh, he wants me to tell you

that I gave him my rent check.

Oh, cool. That means

you can pick up some cheese too.

Well, let's see now, we've had the birthday cake

we've sang the songs and done the dishes.

But we're running out of time

for your big birthday surprise.

Or is it so special that we have to wait

another whole year for you to give it?

Thanks for the introduction, old buzzard.

I'll handle it from here.

I just happen to have a gift in my hand

Mama, remember that special surprise I promised you?

- Yes, darling. - There you are.

Yours truly is taking you this Saturday night

to the exotic, fabulous Tiki room.

[laughing]

That dump, there by the airport, next to the strip joint?

How do you know about that, Joe?

- What? - Talk down at the shop.

[Anthony laughing]

Well, thank you, baby, I think the Tiki room

would be just lovely.

Taking your mother to dinner, huh?

I knew that other thing whatever the hell it was

wasn't gonna work out.

What do you want me to say, pops? What?

That you were right?

You don't have to say it.

I know it.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

[soft music]

Wow!

It's every bit as beautiful as I imagined it to be.

Oh, come on, Joe. This could be fun.

Look, they got drinks with little umbrellas.

Ooh, there's a fire show too.

I'm not sure that's on purpose.

Come on, everybody. Let's sit down.

- Right here, mama. - Alright, baby.

- There you go. - Thank you.

Why are you smiling?

- I have a surprise, mama. - What?

I didn't bring you down here to have dinner.

Damn, Anthony. How cheap are you?

Mama, I brought you down here to reunite you

with your old band mate, Roscoe Deeks.

What?

- What? - Happy birthday, mama?

Oh, isn't it great?

Hey, Roscoe was playing piano here tonight

and he would love nothing more

than for you to join him on stage.

You mean, I get to sing?

That's right, mama.

Oh, my God. I get to go back on stage!

Oh, Anthony. Thank you.

I can't believe I get to go on stage again.

Why didn't you tell me now? I got to get ready.

But baby, thank you.

This is the best gift ever

except for the pearls, Joe.

Oh, I got a powder my nose, Lydia.

Honey, if you got as much blush in your purse

as you got on your face, you can hook me right up.

Alright, but if you use my makeup, Mrs. A

someone is paying for my dinner.

Come on.

Lydia, I have to powder my nose, too.

[laughing]

So what do you think about that, old man?

Well, congratulations, Anthony.

You just flushed 30 years of hard work down the drain.

Uh-huh. Wait a minute. Hold up.

What are you talking about, pops?

You are about to reunite your mother

with the man who fired her 30 years ago.

Fired her? What do you mean?

- You made her quit. - No, I didn't.

I stopped by the club to pick your mother up

after gig one night and Roscoe told me

they were gonna have to let her go.

I knew she'd be devastated.

So I told Roscoe I'll handle it.

I'd break the news to her.

Only you didn't.

I'm telling this story.

Only I didn't.

I gave her an ultimatum.

I told if she went on the road

she'd lose me.

I knew she'd pick this.

After all, I am Joe Anderson.

I know.

And that still didn't stop her.

Don't you understand? I lied to your mother

to let her keep her dignity.

She always believed that

giving up her singing career was a choice she made.

Now wasn't gonna take that away from her.

Now when she and Roscoe start talking

about old times, the truth is gonna come out.

It's gonna kill her.

- It'll be all your fault. - Hey, hey, wait a minute, man.

I'm not gonna take the blame for this.

Look if you had only given me a reason

why you were huffing and puffing

I would have let this go.

I'm your father. I told you.

That should have been enough.

Anthony, you always making me out to be the villain.

Well, I ain't.

Well, I guess you did do something nice for mama.

I guess she kind of likes you.

Well, thanks.

Look, man, you don't have to worry about her finding out.

I got a plan.

What?

I'm gonna go backstage and I'm gonna ask Roscoe

to keep his mouth shut.

Wow, that's a little complex.

I better get a pencil and paper

and write that down.

[instrumental music]

Mr. Deeks?

(Roscoe) 'Look, I told you people'

'you don't start paying me till eight o'clock'

'I ain't coming out till eight o'clock.'

Where's my shrimp cocktail?

Hey, man, I don't work here.

Um, I'm Anthony Anderson.

We spoke on the phone earlier.

- Oh, you're Flo and Joe's boy. - Yes.

Is your mama here because I'd like to

talk to her about old times.

Oh, hey about that talk.

Um, can that not happen?

Why not?

Well, see my mother, she never knew

that you were gonna fire her from the group.

What? I thought your father

took care of that long time ago.

Well, he didn't.

And it would really hurt her if she found out now.

Oh, good old Joe.

The only thing he was ever afraid of was Flo.

Ain't nothing changed.

Well, you know what?

I'll go ahead and keep your little secret.

Oh, hey, thank you. Mr. Deeks.

You know what, you have a great show tonight.

- Okay. - Alright. Thank you.

But uh...

You know, that's a little something

I'd like for you to do for me

Oh, what? You need some money, man?

I mean, you know, I got seven dollars, man.

I mean, that's probably good

for McGrib and a bottle of Thunderbird

but that's about all I can do, brother.

Well, as much as I enjoy processed pork

I want you to make my bass player, Bradley jealous.

How can I do that man? I don't even know his lady.

What'd she look like?

You're looking at her.

Oh, hey, hey, hey!

[laughing]

Boy, you know, as flattered as I am

you know, I'm not your gay, guy.

It's okay you do what you want

but poor old Flo is really gonna be heartbroken

when she finds out the truth.

Hey, come on, brother.

I mean, you don't want that McGrib, man?

I mean, you know, come with the dipping sauce

a little crispy onions on top.

Here comes Bradley.

What you're gonna do?

Step off, Bradley.

He's mine now.

And this kitten got claws.

[screeching]

And that's why people who need people are the luckiest people.

Alright, thank you.

I have a very special treat for you tonight.

Uh, no, I'm not going to do

my Tina Turner medley.

Oh, I just love it when you do Tina Turner.

Roll me down the river. baby.

[indistinct chattering]

Alright, calm down, baby. Calm down.

Anthony, is there anything you want to tell me?

I love my mama.

You got a problem with that?

And now, coming to the stage for the first time

in many, many, many years.

(Flo) 'Not that many!'

The lady among gents, Miss Flo Anderson.

Thank you, thank you. Thank you, everyone.

Oh, my God, I can't believe I'm really here.

It's been such a long time.

But before I sing

I have to say thank you to my two men.

Anthony, my son for giving me this wonderful gift

and Joe, my husband for giving me my wonderful son.

It's great to get to perform again

but I must admit that

I have never regretted

my decision to give up show business.

I believe in this life that you get the dreams

that you're meant to get

and Anthony, Joe

and my little Tuga.

You are my dream.

? When I think of home, I think of a place ?

? Where there's ?

? Love overflowing ?

? I wish I was home ?

? I wish I was back there ?

? With the things ?

? I've been knowing ?

? And I know ?

? If we look inside our hearts ?

? We'll find ?

? A world full of love ?

? Like yours like mine ?

? Like mine ??

[crowd cheering]

She's my mama!

- Happy birthday, mama! - Happy birthday, baby!

Thank you, baby!

[instrumental music]

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