Original subtitles

World famous surgeon, Tuga Anderson

is about to perform his most difficult-

Dad, please.

The doctor needs quiet.

Haha! My son got the skills to pay the bill. Right on.

Come on, I mean the bread basket is easy, okay.

The real challenge is the funny bone.

Hmm. Okay

Now stand back and observe the master.

Mm-hmm.

[buzzer buzzing]

Are you sure you're going to medical school?

Ow!

Nice bedside manner.

Come on. What you got?

- Let me try again. - Hm-mm.

Oh, no, that's a do-over.

Do over? Yeah, I hear that a lot in the hospitals

right between whoops and next of kin.

- Ooh! Ow! - You're making me nervous.

How am I making you nervous?

He's the one that's getting operated on.

[buzzer buzzing]

Ah! Ooh! Ooh!

Come on, that's it. Lydia, it's just a game.

- It's just a game, baby. - No, it's not just a game.

- This is my future! - Come on, just let it go!

Let the man go peacefully!

Look into the light.

Look into the light, Caroline!

? They say the apple don't fall too far from the tree ?

? Whoever came up with that one must have not heard about me ?

? Papa used to say he couldn't understand ?

? Mama must have been spending time with the milkman ?

? But in one... ?

? They've rubbed off the other ?

? Just step by step, day by day ?

? They can't stop the brother ??

[instrumental music]

Hurry up, baby.

"Wheel of Fortune" is coming on

and it's military week.

Careful, pops, with your high blood pressure

you're sure you can handle excitement like that?

Have you got something against the brave men and women

of our armed forces, battling for fabulous cash and prizes?

- Joe? - Huh?

Why don't we do something different today?

What are you talking about, baby?

This is what we do.

Wheel of fortune, dinner, bed.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

But a new customer told me about a wine tasting

at the community center on Tuesdays.

- Wine tasting? - Yeah.

Who I look like to you, Frasier?

Pops, you should go, man.

It'd broaden your horizons.

Broaden yours anymore, you ain't gonna be able

to get through the door.

Pops, please, man. I'm trying to teach my son

not to pick on other people's shortcomings.

You don't hear me going around here calling you

chrome dome or cue ball or a body line.

- Oh! Count Baldula. - Alright, that's it.

Okay, Anthony, Anthony.

What? I got six more I could have used.

Anthony!

Now Joe, honey, we never go out.

Flo, that is not true.

I just took you to that Indian restaurant

you wanted to go to.

That was two years ago.

Man, I'm still carrying around that gas.

Oh, Billy D, don't sweet-talk me now.

Oh, baby, we can talk about it later.

Look, it's getting ready to start.

Hey, mama. You know what?

I think that wine tasting thing might be fun.

I hear talking while wheel is on.

Now look at him, baby, he's getting ready to buy a vowel.

That's a waste of money.

Just sound it out, marine.

Lord, I hope he's not on the front line.

- Commercial, baby. - Okay, I'll get the chips.

- Already. Hm-mm. - Hey!

[music on TV]

Mama, why did you let pops off the hook like that?

Look, if you wanted to go to this wine tasting thing

you should have fought him for it.

Baby and all our years together I have learned

that there's only two ways

to get your father to change his mind.

- And what are they? - It doesn't matter.

Neither what I want.

Come on, mama, just because he doesn't want to do something

that means you can't do it either? That's crazy.

No, baby. That's marriage.

With your father, It's a process.

if I want to go to the sizzler

I ask him, "Can we go?" he says "Hell no."

Three months later, I ask him again.

He says, "Are we still talking about that?"

And then, six months later, on my birthday

mama's having all-you-can-eat steak and shrimp.

It's all in the planning, baby.

Mama, that's pathetic.

With all the stuff you do around here

you deserve a night away from the Crypt Keeper.

Come on, mama, you need to go

to this thing tonight by yourself.

I don't want to go by myself.

I don't know anybody down there.

So what are you gonna do mama, huh?

Wait 40 years until he dies

to go out and have a good time?

Look, you're going to this thing tonight.

I'm not taking no for an answer.

What was that for?

For telling me I got 40 years left.

Bless you, baby.

Flo, you're not gonna believe this.

Corporal Bioval is actually winning.

Here's your chips, honey, don't wait up.

What? Where you going?

- To the wine tasting. - What?

Well, I've been thinking just because you don't want to go

don't mean I don't want to go.

So I decided that it's time for me

to be a little more independent.

And just where did you get an idea like that?

Wow, that's a pretty weak-ass spin by Colonel.

Why you off being more independent?

Who's gonna take care of the house?

Who's gonna fix my dinner?

Who's gonna fulfill your wifely duties?

You keep talking like that, no one.

Mama, make a break for it.

I'll take care of the warden's cooking and cleaning.

- You? - Hm-mm.

You're gonna take care of all the work

that your mother does tonight?

That's right.

Go ahead, baby. Have a good time.

[instrumental music]

It's seven fifteen, where's dinner?

It's in the oven. At Pizza Hut.

Pizza?

So you said you were gonna fill in for your mama.

She makes everything herself from scratch.

Fine, pops. I'll get dinner started then.

Uh.

Where does mama keep the saucepans?

I don't know. I'm a man.

Come on, pops.

Where does mommy keep the can opener?

Did you not hear me? I am a man.

I have an excuse. I haven't lived here in ten years.

How is it that you don't know where anything is?

I know where the table is 'cause that's where I eat.

After I finish eating

the kitchen needs mopping

the living room needs dusting.

and Charlie, down at the barbershop

was promised a homemade birthday cake.

Mama promised to bake Charlie a cake?

I did. But she does it.

See? That's what kind of a good woman you are.

Oh, I get it.

You've just taken it out on me 'cause mama's gone.

Oh! Hm-mm. Bring it on, old man.

It's cool. It's all worth it

if mama gets one night to enjoy herself.

Boy, you really don't know nothing

about your mother, do you?

There's no way in the world that woman

can enjoy herself without me.

Ooh! This is tasty!

You know, Flo, you're not supposed to swallow the wine

just switch it around and then spit it out.

To hell with that.

This ain't mouthwash, girl.

[instrumental music]

What?

Your mom always uses a wooden spoon.

What difference does that make?

I don't know, but it's an Anderson tradition.

Your mama uses a wooden spoon.

My mama use the wooden spoon.

- My mama's mama use the wood- - Okay. Okay.

Okay, okay, I get it.

Well, give me a wooden spoon then.

I don't know where it is.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Hey, Lydia, am I glad to see you.

Could you help me with the dishes?

Oh, sure. Ask the Puerto Rican chick to do the dishes.

I wish I could but I have to go visit

my boyfriend Chico in prison

and feed my seven babies before I get

into a knife fight at the bodega.

Hey, hey, hey, Lydia! I'm black.

You can't pull the race card on me.

I believe I just did. Buenos noches.

Well, I'm going to the living room and watch TV.

When you're finished come on in there

'cause I need you to crack my toes.

Oh, Mama, am I glad you're home.

Baby, I had the best time!

You didn't spit out the wine, did you?

I felt so.. What's the word I'm looking for?

Hammered?

- Liberated. - Yeah.

Try telling that to the LAPD.

No, officer. I haven't been drinking.

Um, I was just liberated!

I'm not drunk, baby.

I'm just high off the good time I had.

I joined this new group called the Southland Adventures Club.

That's not one of those wife swapping clubs. Is it, mama?

I mean, 'cause whoever get stuck with pops

they're gonna want a refund.

No, baby. They host all kind of wonderful activities.

Like tomorrow night, I'm going to their monthly dance party.

Wait a minute, mama. You're not going out again tomorrow.

Uh-huh. And Friday is casino night.

I am havin' a time of my life

and I have you to thank for it.

Thank you, sweetheart.

(Joe) 'Come on, now. These toes'

'ain't gonna crack themselves.'

Lord, I am in no mood to touch that man's dogs tonight.

Mama's not home yet.

Oh! And use the wooden spoon.

[instrumental music]

? Happy birthday, dear Charlie ?

? Happy birthday to you ??

Oh, yeah, Charlie!

Happy birthday!

- Flo? - Huh?

Did I do something to make you mad?

Of course not, Charlie. Anthony baked that cake.

- I was out last night. - Till 11:43.

It gets later every time he tells it.

- Hey, Charlie. - Mm-hmm.

Word on the street is you got

a problem with the cake.

Well, it just makes me sad.

Looks like it was baked by a two-year-old.

Man, this cake was baked with love.

Now put your teeth in and eat some.

- Tuga, you want a slice? - Uh-uh!

I was there when it fell on the floor.

Hey, Mr. A, what's with the pink smocks?

Ask the genius who did the wash last night.

Boy, can't even tell how to separate the whites from colors.

That's segregation, pops.

If the whites don't mix with the colors

we wouldn't have Halle Berry.

I kind of like them. They're festive.

Thank you, Charlie.

But your cake still sucks.

I gotta run to the bank. Come on, Tuga.

I'm gonna show you what money looks like

since your daddy's never gonna.

Hey, son, now remember what we do

when grandpa starts talking crazy.

- Smile and nod. - Oh, my son.

Lydia, I got a big problem.

My mama's talking about going out again tonight.

- Oh, good for her. - No, no, no!

Good for her was last night.

I'm talking about me!

I don't think I can take another night

of being my daddy's wife.

I'm not gonna do this again, Lydia. I'm not gonna do it.

I ain't gonna have that man do me like that again.

- I'm not gonna do it - Oh, Anthony.

Relax.

Just, um, get your folks to go out together.

Have you met my dad?

The last time he took my mama out

our neighborhood was all white.

You want to spend another night cracking your daddy's toes?

- He told you about that? - Told everybody about that.

That's it. This man is gonna get out the house tonight.

You know, his toes so long they can make a fist?

Anthony, what kind of dance are the kids doing today?

Can you teach me how to do the Compton Shake?

Oh, mama, mama, mama, mama. Hm-mm.

First off, is called the Harlem Shake.

And secondly, I never want to see you do that again.

Okay, now, baby. I gotta learn my groove for tonight.

You know who could help you with that?

- Who? - Pops.

Nobody grooves like he does.

Look, take him to the dance tonight.

The only groove your father knows

is the one he left in the couch.

Come on, mommy, you always talk about

you want him to go places with you.

I do, baby, but not to the Adventures Club.

- He just wouldn't fit in. - Why not?

Well, just because he just wouldn't, that's all, baby.

Come on, mama. What seems to be the problem?

Why can't you take pops to this club?

Because in order to be in the Adventures Club

I have to be a widow.

- What? - Yeah.

Everybody in the Adventures Club

is either a widow or a widower.

Okay, so when I joined

I told 'em your father died peacefully

in his sleep three months ago.

- Really? - Hm-mm.

I never pictured it that way and I pictured it a lot of ways.

Anthony.

I mean, usually it's in a fiery crash.

I mean he jumps out the airplane

with no parachute and just splat!

Anthony! You have got to promise

not to say a word to your father.

- Okay? - Okay.

And baby, we got to get you in therapy.

Well, what's with you?

Just thinking about the different ways

my daddy might die.

You know one time, I pictured him laying

at my feet with a pair of scissors stuck in his neck.

That's just between you and me.

[instrumental music]

Hey, pops, you know, I've been thinking, man.

I think it would be a great surprise

if you take mom out to dinner tonight.

Why? She was just out last night.

It ought to be at least a few months before

she starts bugging me about going to the sizzler again.

Yeah, but you know the two of you

should go out together, man.

Look, my treat.

Here's 40 bucks.

Where'd you get 40 dollars?

What difference does it make, man?

Look the point is you need to take-

You've been in my sock drawer?

No, what's in your sock drawer?

Nothing.

I was just thinking you and mama should go out and-

You've been in that coffee can on top of the refrigerator?

- No, what's in the coffee can? - Nothing.

- Oh, hey, mama. - Hey, baby.

- Oh, baby, you look beautiful. - Thank you.

Why are you all dressed up? Wheel was coming on?

I'm not watching Wheel tonight, Joe.

I'm going to the dance at the Community Center.

What?

You haven't said nothing to me about it all day long

and now you're gonna tell me as you about to walk out the door?

Well, I knew you weren't gonna like it.

I figured a five minute fight

is better than a five hour fight any day.

Anthony, give me and your mother a little privacy.

Okay. Uh, can I have my 40 bucks back?

What 40 bucks?

That's cold, pops.

Now listen to me, woman.

You are not going out two nights in a row.

As man of this house, I forbid it.

Joe, who do you think you're talking to, your second wife?

Now if you don't want me to go

then you just ask me in a nice way.

Baby, I sure would appreciate if you wouldn't go out tonight.

Too bad, I'm going.

This queen bee has left her hive

and I owe it all to Anthony.

Ow!

So, that's it, huh? That's it.

You're just gonna leave and what about me?

Joe, honey, I would love for just

the two of us to go out dancing

but I am not going to wait around

40 years for you to ask me.

You think we got 40 years left?

Well, I didn't pace myself right.

So, are you gonna take me dancing

or am I going to the Community Center?

Baby, you know, I hate dancing.

What does he get you moving around

in little circles, going nowhere?

Well, I guess I have my answer. Have a nice night, honey.

[door opens]

[door shuts]

What are you doing?

I knew it was a mistake allowing you to move back in here.

All you've done since you've been back is to stir up trouble.

What are you yelling at me for, pops?

You need to be thinking about your marriage.

Mama just walked out the front door.

She was perfectly happy until you started

filling up her head with all these..

...stupid ideas.

Man, you don't know the first thing

about making mama happy.

She does everything for you.

Like she laughs at your dumb jokes.

She listens to your crazy stories.

She even cracks your fist-making toes.

And all she ever wanted was for you

to take her out once in a while.

But could you do that? No.

Because Joe's too pig-headed to see that.

Oh, you don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know what I'm talking about?

Mama's so desperate for a change

that she joined the widow's club

and told everybody you were dead.

And now I've said too much.

Yeah, you always say too much.

And now you're making me miss "Wheel of Fortune."

[cheering on TV]

[laughing]

Hi!

Anthony, what are you doing here?

Before I tell you this, remember I love you.

Will you look at that?

Her husband's not even cold yet

and she's moving on with this

little tender right here.

More power to you, girl.

Ladies, this is my son, Anthony.

- Oh! - Oh!

Well, in that case, I could use a little help moving on.

[chuckles]

That's nice.

Mama, I was talking to pops.

He likes to go down to the graveyard

and talk to his dead father.

I kind of told him about your little secret.

What is wrong with you, boy?

Can't I trust your big mouth with anything?

Flo, don't be so hard on the boy.

Can't you see he just lost his dad?

Yeah, mama, you know I'm still grieving.

You know, I still cry myself to sleep at night.

I'll give you something to cry about?

[Joe chuckles]

Good evening, ladies.

Well, hello!

I've never seen you here before.

and believe me, I would have noticed.

- Yeah, I'm Joe. - Hi, Joe.

I'm Etta.

Uh, that's Maxine.

This is Flo and uh Flo's son, Anthony.

Well, it's nice to meet all of you. I have a son, too.

You know, I bet he's a great guy.

Most of the time he's a jackass.

But every once in a while, he makes a good point.

In fact it was he that convinced me to come down here tonight.

And why did you come down here?

I'm not sure maybe..

...because just like you, I know what it's like to lose a spouse.

Oh.

Yeah, I looked over my wife one day

and she was gone.

And I realized I never got a chance

to tell her a lot of things I wanted to.

- Like what? - Like, um..

Uh.

Maybe the fact that I didn't

always understand her needs and um

maybe sometimes I-I took her for granted.

But I was always crazy about her.

I'd do anything to get her back.

Your wife sounds like a lucky woman.

No, actually I'm the one that's lucky.

[soft music]

Would you care to

move around in little circles

with me and go my way?

I'd love to.

[music continues]

Why her?

What does she have that I don't have?

Him.

You have to admit, they do look good together.

They sure do.

Hi, my name is Alicia.

Oh, hi. I'm Anthony.

You're rather young to be a widow.

How did he go?

Smiling.

Well, a long life is overrated.

And I ain't smiled in a long time.

Wanna dance?

- This is my mama's song. - Is it? Alright.

Hm-mm.

Woo!

Woo!

Hey, you alright? Alright.

[instrumental music]

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