Original subtitles

[ Up-tempo music plays, indistinct shouting ]

[ People screaming ]

ANNOUNCER: Masoods Supercars,

once again, proud sponsor of the Ackley Bridge Mela.

[ Both screaming ]

MISSY: If I scream louder,

will you make it go faster next time, Pete?

You can scream all you want. Don't actually go any faster.

It's mounted on an undulating, rotating platform.

Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty, Pete.

[ Carousel music playing ]

[ People screaming ]

Nas.

[ Nas grunts ]

Can you remember if I got off with Pete last night?

[ Gasps ]

I obviously made a good impression on you, then.

[ Gasps ] No. Shut up.

It's alright.

Yeah, we have all got our clothes on.

Whew.

God, you two should be so lucky.

-[ Laughs ] -[ Footsteps approaching ]

Nasreen! Nasreen!

The letter's come!

From Oxford! It's come!

-Who is that? -[ Gasps ]

This is Pete.

NASREEN: We're all fully clothed.

-Open it! Open it! -I can't, not now.

-Open it! Go on. -Go on, open it.

Okay. [ Laughs ]

They've given me a bloody interview.

[ All screaming ]

It's just -- It's just an interview.

It's not an offer.

For Oxford, Nas. Oxford!

-[ Screaming ] -Yeah!

-[ Screaming ] -[ Laughs ]

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

[ Horn honking ]

[ Indistinct talking ]

ZAIN: You like my whip? Nought to 90 in 2 seconds, bro.

Lambo 'n' that. Proper Lambo.

Roll in it. Roll in it.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

WAQAR: What are you saying, dude?

Ooh, his cousin's hired it for the mela.

My cousin ownsone.

Right, anyone order takeaway?

MISSY: Do you drive that, sir?

-What else would I do with it? -Push it?

-Oh. -[ Missy and Nasreen laugh ]

Miss Keane had a well-posher car than that, sir.

-Did she? -MISSY: She had everything

going for her, she did, didn't she, Nas?

-Well-liked. -Good-looking.

Well-dressed.

And a natural and uncanny ability

to communicate with her students.

Really?

MISSY: Yeah.

Oi, Sam!

-Guess what. -What?

I got an interview.

Yeah?

A bit more enthusiasm wouldn't go amiss.

That's great, Nas.

I am telling you, brain of Britain, me.

Thank you very much.

MISSY: Yeah!

Well, no pressure, but the whole of Ackley Bridge

are relying on you to get in.

[ School bell rings ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Two more managed moves. No papers.

Can't speak a word of English.

Practically a migrant camp.

They'll be sending actors in to give us drama workshops next.

[ Mandy clears throat ]

Hello.

What school have you come from?

Nazyvam siePawel Nowicki.

Polish, I think.

"My name is Pawel Nowicki."

Right.

Do you know him?

He's my cousin from Bradford, innit?

Oh, right, no, what I meant was,

have you both come from the same school?

Yeah, right, Krakow Grammar.

Do you know who I am?

God, don't anyone know who anyone is in this school, bro?

Miss Carter, Weaver the Weasel from the Trust, office.

Oh, right.

We'll be back.

-KEN: Hey, guys! -Oh.

Just thought I'd pop in, see how you're progressing.

Unofficially, of course.

Yeah.

Good, um, 'cause the thing is, Mr. Weaver --

Ken.

The thing is, Ken, um,

that I have got two new managed move students in the reception,

to add to the other 20 that you placed with me

at the beginning of term.

So I'm feeling a little bit overstretched,

seeing as half my staff have been moved on,

which I know I agreed to, but --

Well, that's why you got Mr. Evershed

and Mrs. -- Sue here, both highly experienced

and respected employees of the Valley Trust.

Thank you for that vote of confidence, Ken.

I think we're all prepared to give 110%.

Rebranding's always difficult in the early stages, Mandy.

It's not just a change of name,

it's a commitment to the franchise.

SUE: I agree, Ken.

I've had my say.

Thank you, Sue.

Hey, and thank you, too, Mandy, for being so transparent.

What are you doing?

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Don't be daft.

What do you call these efforts?

Uh, rock cakes?

Rock-hard cakes, more like.

[ Banging ]

You could stone someone to death with them.

-GIRL: You what? -No offense, love.

GIRL: 21st century, Miss.

I suggest the only buns you put in the oven in future

are the ones that are ready in nine months.

[ Laughter ]

You're no Nadiya Hussain, are you?

[ Laughter ]

Missy's biscuits.

You can bake a file in yours

for your mum to break out the jail with.

Aw, at least she hasn't turned Muslim like your mum.

Better food bank at the mosque.

HAYLEY: What you saying about my mum, you skank?

-Yeah, what you saying? -ZAIN: It's true, Missy.

Your mum's hijabed up. The lot.

She was at the mosque with Zoomy Zaff the smackhead.

[ Students jeering, laughter ]

SUE: Alright. Back to your stations.

I am stud-- studying -- studying at Oxford.

I am studying.

How now, brown...lesbian.

Brown lesbian.

[ Footsteps approach ]

[ Humming ]

Oh, my God, Mum!

Don't say nothing. Just say you like them.

Oh, these must have cost a fortune!

Mm, they did, but, you know, these colors, they suit you.

Make you stand out in Oxford.

Aww. Aw, that's so sweet.

Thank you.

[ Footsteps depart ]

Does this say Oxford?

More like Oxfam.

Missy, I-I can't have anything too showy.

It's got to be plain, you know, classic.

Not a classic slapper. What is that?

Our birthday party, then?

Gotta look available on your 18th.

It's gonna be so --

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

What have I told you? Come here.

Oh, my God, it's true.

Missy, your mum's wearing hijab.

Your mum wears Nike Air with shalwar kameez.

Yeah.

Who are those kids?

MISSY: Don't know.

What you gonna do?

Nothing.

MAN: No-smoking station.

Please extinguish your cigarettes.

They say you use this for the ticket.

Oh.

-Yoo-hoo! -[ Gasps, chuckles ]

What you bloody done to your fingers?

MISSY: St. Matthias College crest.

Go, St. Matthias!

Where the hell did you get them done?

Brittany's Got Talons.

Hey, do you mind, love?

Only I've just had me nails encapsulated.

-DRIVER: No problem. -Ta.

You didn't think I was gonna let you have all the fun, did you?

Come on.

Oxford, then, hmm?

Okay.

Bye.

Did your mum make kebabs?

[ Snickers ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Oh, my God, Missy, I c-- I can't believe it.

I'm actually here. Look at it.

Oxford.

Looks like Harrogate without the walking dead.

[ Choir singing ]

Good morning, everyone. I'm Thomas Padgett.

I'm going to be your guide for the next three days.

If there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.

Now, we're about to enter the chapel,

which is a place of worship.

Forgive me, Father, for I'm about to sin.

He is gorge.

Cold kebab, Tommy?

[ Singing continues ]

LUCY: What do you think they ask us?

MARIS: My friend said they asked him to identify

and name all the cells in a picture.

LUCY: Oh, I've got that covered.

You think I should get black tips on the bottom of me hair?

Um, what?

Dip dying? What you think?

Erythrocyte, megakaryocyte, monocyte.

Definitely these.

At least you've got medical experience.

My mother's a cardiothoracic surgeon.

She gave me the opportunity to witness a heart transplant.

BOY: No way.

Mm. No.

No.

MARIS: Well, my father's a consultant.

LUCY: Oh, cool.

[ Groans ]

Missy, I don't know if I can do this.

What?

Did you not hear her in there?

I-I can't -- I can't sound like that.

Yeah, you can. She's all gob.

No, sh-she's not all gob. That is a private education.

You need practice.

-I'll interview you. -You're gonna interview me?

-Yeah. -Right.

Take a seat.

[ Posh voice ] Hello, Nasreen.

I see you're a Pakistani.

I'm Dr. Missy.

With a medical complaint of the foot,

would you recommend using a nail file and a pumice stone

or an over-the-counter tube of Bazuka that verruca?

Missy!

[ Normal voice ] It's a medical question.

Not here it won't be.

They're all gonna know more than me.

And I just feel like I'm gonna walk into that interview

and just look like a right idiot.

You're gonna look a bigger bloody fool when you show up

for Ackley Bridge without even trying.

I think I made a mistake.

I don't want to be here.

I don't like how it's making me feel.

I am embarrassed.

You know, the way I look and the way I speak, it's --

[ Piano playing ]

WOMAN: The next bus to... will depart in eight minutes.

Please keep all your belongings with you at all times.

-What you playin' at? -Oh, shut up, Missy.

No, you shut up for a change!

I've had nowt but you whining on at me for years

about how you were gonna be different,

gonna get out of Ackley Bridge and do something with your life.

And now you're here in this place and you've bottled it.

And why?

Oh, 'cause you don't talk posh enough.

Your skin's too brown.

You don't know enough.

Well, I've got news for you, Nasreen Paracha.

Your skin'll always be brown. You will never know enough.

And if someone's bleeding to death,

they're not gonna give a toss if you don't sound like

Camilla Parker bleedin' Bowles!

Right?

So chin up.

Let's get back out there.

♪ 'Cause you're beautiful, Nasreen Paracha ♪

Gonna rule the world. Yeah?

Come on, we can still make your interview.

So, the human reproductive system, yes?

Really, bro? This time of the morning?

I've just had me breakfast, innit?

If you turn to page 498 in your textbooks,

you will see a diagram of the penis.

TOGETHER: Penis!

Yes, the penis. It is a penis. Calm down.

Oh, my God. Why ain't it circumcised?

That's racist, that is.

It's just a textbook, Miss Ibrahim.

It's a "sext" book, bro, and no one asked my permission

to expose this lula near my face.

-[ Laughter ] -I am shocked, bro.

Shocked! I need the nurse, innit?

I feel faint.

Aah! See?

Now you made me put that dirty foreskinned lula

-near my face, bro. -[ Laughter ]

Right, that's enough.

Report to Miss Carp, please.

TOGETHER: Ooh!

Don't worry. I'm going.

'Cause I swear down, you turned this whole classroom

bare haram with that dirty book.

RASHID: Hey, come on.

What's wrong with you? Your mum marry her cousin?

[ Students shouting ]

RASHID: Alright, alright, alright.

[ Knocking on door ]

What do you want?

To come in.

SUE: Why?

Punishment, innit.

What for?

Not drawing a lula.

What's wrong with rulers?

Miss, I'm supposed to report to you.

You are forgiven.

Now go.

Draw a ruler and write, "I must use my ruler at all times."

I've got no paper, miss.

Oh, use your imagination.

[ Indistinct talking ]

Do you like it?

Have you seen this one?

Absolute masterpiece. Couldn't get any better.

What you bloody doing?

[ Students shouting ]

What would your mother say, huh?

[ Laughter ]

Go back to your classroom, all of you.

Go. You come with me.

Hey, who do you think you're touching?

What is that?

I'd like you to look at this electron micrograph of a cell.

Do you think you could identify any parts of the cell?

DR. CONWAY: Did you hear the question?

I saw you in the common room.

I know all about Ackley Bridge and your school.

And I can assure you that the criterion here at Oxford

is intelligence.

We think you have something to offer.

You wouldn't be interviewing if you didn't.

Okay.

So, Miss Paracha.

The micrograph, if you please?

"C" is a mitochondrion.

"B" is some kind of secretory vesicles.

"D" is a dense black resin,

which suggests the cell is a melanocyte.

DR. BROWN: Good.

Is there an area of medicine

that you're particularly interested in?

Um...[ Chuckles ]

Yeah. Let's see. Um...

That verruca gel over there.

Yes?

NASREEN: I did a study in school

about the alarming number of South Asian women

who now turn to the Internet for self-diagnosis

as opposed to, like,

actually seeking out help from a female doctor.

And also a return to home remedies for simple ailments.

So they seemed dead excited.

Well, not excited, but, like, um, interested

in the study I did for Rashid.

Anyway, so then we got onto the subject of tropical diseases,

which made me think, do you know,

thank God me mum got malaria

because otherwise, I would know nothing.

[ Chuckles ]

I'm dead pleased it went well. I knew it would.

-TOM: Nasreen. -[ Bicycle bell rings ]

NASREEN: Oh.

I heard you did brilliantly.

Jump on for the great Oxford tour.

Yeah, come on.

You coming?

Oh, go on. I'm getting an early night.

Are you sure?

Okay.

TOM: Climb aboard.

-[ Chuckles ] -NASREEN: Whoo. I am on.

TOM: Ready?

Yeah.

-See you later! -Bye.

[ Nasreen screams ]

-[ Popping ] -Happy birthday, Missy and Nas!

[ Cheering ]

So the first five terms are for the First BM,

and that's like the basic foundation of medicine.

God, just listening to you, I can feel me acne being cured.

Start thinking of what field you might like to specialize in?

Yeah. Yeah. I will.

God, it was just an interview. She hasn't got in yet.

KANEEZ: Did this proper and write it down.

Now I can't -- Oh, no, no.

Here it is! Here it is!

Oh, speech time, speech time.

You know, only seem like yesterday

that these two girl sitting on my back step,

eating sugar puff.

[ Light laughter ]

I don't remember a time when they weren't together.

Born same day, same hospital, same ward,

delivery room next to each other.

I hear Missy's cry, eh na?

Same time I hear my first swear words from your mother.

But you don't want to know what she say.

I don't worry for Nasreen

because I know that if I can't help her,

she always got you, Missy.

Huh?

And now she going to Oxford.

[ Chuckles ] To become a doctor.

My little girl.

I always knew you would do something special,

something to make us proud.

I'm dead proud of you, Nasreen.

You work so hard.

You deserve all the success you get.

And, Missy,

Nasreen, she couldn't be who she is without you.

So I want to say thank you for being there for her.

I don't know what she bloody gonna do

when she leave you behind here.

Oi! Oi!

Where you going?

Look, I'm sorry for going on about Oxford in there, Missy.

But it's literally just because I'm excited, that's all.

Yeah. Tommy thought you nailed it.

So turned out alright in the end, eh?

Come inside. Come inside. It's cold.

It's funny listening to your mam.

Hearing it all like that about us,

how long we've been together.

You'd never think --

Something's wrong, Missy.

I know you.

It's just...

Just me mam, all this conversion stuff.

I should probably go and see her.

You know what me mam's like. She just acts without thinking.

-Bit like me. -Missy.

No, just go on in. I'm alright.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sobbing ]

[ Carousel music playing ]

Do you think I'm going somewhere?

'Round and 'round at the moment.

Depends what you want.

That's not what I asked.

Honestly?

The answer's no.

[ Scoffs ] Wow.

Look, it's not to say that you can't.

It's just you've got to know what it is that you're after.

I don't know anymore.

I know I want something, anything.

Just not this.

So run away with the fair.

[ Laughs ] Do you know how mad that sounds, Pete?

Hey, nothing is mad here.

You can be whoever you want to be.

Or no one at all.

Hey, our fortune teller's retiring.

You should take over.

You'd be good at it.

Mystic Missy.

Mystic Missy.

Fate is in her hands.

[ Chuckles ]

-[ Bell ringing ] -See you in a bit.

No, you won't.

Nadine Murgatroyd. I've come for me kids.

Are you the named parental contact?

-Ohh. -LORRAINE: Hey!

You can't go through there!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

-[ Dramatic music playing] -RAZIA: Not being funny, sir,

but how has this got anything to do with our English class?

MARTIN: Written in 1230.

Bawdy, irreverent, and satirical.

It was an indictment of the medieval world,

of church and state, the human condition, fate and fortune.

Now, I want you all

to start writing your own "Carmina Buranas."

I want your thoughts.

Anything that comes into your head

when listening to the music, write it down.

I want to know what your --

[ Students groaning ]

[ Music stops ]

SAM: Aw, Mum, please.

Come on, you two.

I'm sorry. Uh, can I help?

I'm Sam Murgatroyd's mum and Candice's legal guardian.

-And I'm taking 'em out. -Right.

Can I just stop you right there?

Girls, go and sit back down, please.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Can we talk about this outside?

I'm not afraid of you, mate.

Alright, there's nothing to be afraid of.

I'd just like to talk to you outside

and not actually in the classroom.

I want my kids.

-I said move! -[ Students shout ]

I really don't think you should do that.

Watch it, mate, yeah,

'cause you don't know who you're dealing with.

Nadine Melanie Murgatroyd, mother of Samantha Murgatroyd

and auntie of Candice Murgatroyd.

I know exactly who you are and where you've been.

[ Students shout ]

Come on, now, for the girls' sake.

Get out of my way!

I can't do that. It's against the law.

And you don't need that right now, do you?

Think about it.

Right, thank you.

Shall we talk about this outside?

Everyone get on with your work, please.

[ Indistinct talking ]

Come on, get back on with your work.

This way, please, Miss Murgatroyd.

[ Talking continues ]

Come on, everyone.

Look, why don't you step into this classroom here?

I'll get the headmistress,

and you can sort something out with her.

I can't have you disrupting my class.

It upsets the kids.

Alright?

Be back in a second.

[ Lock clicks ]

-NADINE: Hey! -[ Sighs ]

[ Banging on door ]

NADINE: Let me out!

Sir, can I write this in my "Carmina Burana"?

-Shut up! -Um, Mr. Evershed.

All under control.

Have you seen Mrs. Murgatroyd?

Open this frigging door now!

-Oi! Open the door! -Dulcet tones?

Release Mrs. Murgatroyd, please, Mr. Evershed.

Yeah, I will, the minute she calms down.

Now, please, Mr. Evershed.

[ Banging continues, stops ]

[ Keys jingling, lock clicks ]

You think you're funny, don't you, eh?

Well, it depends which side of the door you're on.

Are you in charge here?

Did you just see what he did to me?

I suggest you calm down right now.

I want my girls out of here!

They'll leave when I give them permission to leave

and not before.

Don't push it, mate, yeah? I am warning you.

-Don't push it! -Alright.

You can take the girls out of school

just as soon as you fill out the relevant forms

-down at reception. -MARTIN: Hang on a minute.

I would go before I change my mind.

Come on. Come on.

Right, okay. She started it.

She pushed me twice.

You can return to class.

MARTIN: Whose side are you on?

I was neutralizing a situation that was out of hand.

And I was implementing school policy.

MANDY: Really?

I don't remember false imprisonment

being part of our mission statement.

I know how to deal with

the Nadine Murgatroyds of this world.

-I grew up with them. -So did I.

SUE: Fools rush in, Martin.

I'd have thought you'd have learned that lesson by now.

-Get stuffed, Sue. -MANDY: Well, you can talk.

You've just allowed a girl to paint penises all over my quad.

You're supposed to be my "A" team,

the best the Trust have on offer.

-SUE: Not quite true. -You what?

-We're Valley Trust rejects. -Speak for yourself.

Oh, I do.

And Mr. Gartside, Mr. Robinson, Mr. Shah,

Mrs. Cunningham, and Bimalinder Singh.

What you going on about?

They can't sack us,

so they moved us here in the hope that we'll pack it in.

I beg your pardon?

And the managed move kids? Rejects.

That might apply to you,

but they made me deputy head to pull this place together.

They might not approve of my methods,

but they trust my results, Sue.

Oh, do yourself a favor, Martin, for God's sake.

You're hardly the blue-eyed poster boy of the Valley Trust.

You're a pain in their nether regions.

You can dress it up all you want, love.

They got rid of you.

Deputy head? Of this place?

Tandoori High.

-Tandoori -- What? -No offense.

It's just what some of the Trust people call it.

I'd hate to see what you think a demotion is, Martin.

[ Sighs ]

[ Engine revs ]

-I'd love a car like that. -You can't even drive.

Neither can he.

[ Clears throat ] Oh.

Oh, my God.

God, your mum looks better in a hijab than I did.

That's not difficult.

What are we doing here?

MISSY: She's still our mum.

SIMONE: Do it again.

-She looks happy enough. -You came.

-Missy, my baby. -You alright, Mum?

Hayley.

Nasreen.

My babies.

I've changed.

I really have.

[ Clattering, banging ]

Is there something I can do for you?

Yes.

You can tell your teachers to pull their bloody fingers out.

[ Clattering ]

I work in that kitchen, and I serve in the staff room.

I see everything that's going on.

And this school is not the same.

It's just -- It's -- It's a change of staff.

You know, different teachers have different methods.

Different m-- Who you kidding, love?

Huh? They don't care.

Of course they care.

They don't even know the kids' names.

And they leave early.

They don't care, and you know it.

Admit it.

It --

Of course I bloody know it.

Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

'Cause I signed away this school to save it.

And I was wrong.

Didn't work.

I really thought they understood what we were trying to do here.

[ Sighs ] And I was wrong.

Pff! Big-time!

That's all I got to say.

Well, yeah.

[ Door closes ]

[ Laughter ]

-MARTIN: Okay. -GAYNOR: Okay, okay.

Go again. Go again.

ALL: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Whoa! Four scissors!

[ Explosion ]

[ Door opens ]

Keep the kids inside.

Come on, inside.

Come on, inside.

Hello.

Hayley thinks Zaffar's grooming you.

[ Scoffs ]

If that means being loved and keeping me clean,

I suppose he is.

He saved me.

That knock on the door you always dreaded coming...

...he stopped it.

Bit dramatic and that, but it's true.

Don't ask owt or expect it.

[ Indistinct talking ]

Are you happy, Mum?

Are you?

You don't come looking for me if nowt's wrong, Missy.

Did you ever just want to just run away from here?

I did.

Every time I stuck a needle in me vein.

Maybe if I'd had time to think...

Had nowt to do with you and Hayley.

But way back...

...I lost...

Don't know what you'd call it.

Don't know if people like us are supposed to have it.

But...

I know I turned 'round one day, and...

...something weren't there.

I were too late.

[ Whispering indistinctly ]

I know that, love.

Missy?

Missy!

Oi!

What'd your mum say?

She's, uh, gonna be stopping at the house a bit more.

Right, and how do you feel about that?

I'm not gonna be there.

What do you mean?

I'm packing school in.

Gonna get a job on the fair, for a while, anyway.

[ Laughing ]

What's so funny?

Come on, Missy, you're being ridiculous.

Oh, so it's alright for you to go off to Oxford,

and everyone's like, "Oh, Oxford!

Nas, wow, you're amazing!"

I say I'm getting a job on the fair, and I'm being ridiculous.

Excuse me. Missy.

I stood by you in Oxford when you bottled it.

You weren't Little Miss Perfect then, were you?

What?

Didn't tell anybody that bit, did you?

No, 'course you didn't.

Missy Booth talking sense and saving your neck?

No, that's not how our story goes, is it, Nas?

Missy, what's actually wrong?

Us. We --

Nas, me mum offered more support than you.

Since when have you ever listened to her?

Look what she's done with her life.

Do you really, like --

What, do I want to end up like her?

Is that what you were gonna say?

That how you see my life, is it?

I'll tell you what, Nas.

For all that she's done...

she didn't laugh in me face.

Coming through.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Very funny.

Coming through.

Watch your backs.

Morning.

Morning.

I heard about your car.

Ahh. News travels fast.

-Yeah, that's Lorraine. -Ah.

Listen, uh, have you spoken to the police

about the incident with Mrs. Murgatroyd?

She did threaten you.

I mean, I can make a statement for you if you want.

You know what?

I never thought of myself as a Lycra man,

but this morning, I am loving the Lycra.

It makes me feel alive.

-Yeah? -You know?

I think you should get inside quick

before you end up all over Snapchat.

Not that you don't look great.

Thank you very much.

At least they know I've arrived, eh?

-BOY: They torched his car. -GIRL: Oh, my God, you're lying.

Have you got a video?

[ Indistinct talking ]

No, listen. No names, man.

No names. No names.

[ Door opens ]

Right, can we sit down, please?

WAQAR: Sorry to hear about your car, sir.

The road users of Ackley Bridge breathed a sigh of relief, sir.

-[ Laughter ] -Could be worse, sir.

It might still be drivable.

You could hire a supercar from the mela, sir.

Right, so, let me put everyone straight right from the off.

According to the fire brigade...

MISSY: It should have been burnt long ago.

[ Laughter ]

...it was an accident.

Plain and simple.

An electrical fault.

Luckily for me, I was insured and no one was in it.

However, unluckily for you lot, your homework was.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Though I will mark you all...level 7.

Hooray.

Now, Sam, Candice,

would you care to join the rest of the class up here, please,

so I don't have to shout.

Thank you very much.

Right, where were we?

Ah, yes. Wilfred Owen.

[ School bell rings ]

Certi, sir, certi.

Yes.

Loving the tie.

See you later. Thank you. Thank you.

-See you tomorrow, sir. -See you all tomorrow.

-We'll do it all again. -Bye, sir!

Bye-bye.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Everything alright at home?

-See you tomorrow, sir. -See you later, now. Bye-bye.

You said all you need to say.

Well, you didn't give me a chance.

Something about being stuck here and a smackhead like me mam.

Missy --

I just think that you are giving up any chance

of doing something good if you don't finish school.

Well, why don't you send me a postcard from Oxford

saying, "I told you so!"

[ Scoffs ]

I-Is that what this is about? Oxford?

-That's not even definite. -Oh, come on, Nas.

When have you ever not got something you set your mind to?

Oh, oh. Sorry. Sorry, Missy.

-Is that really such a crime? -[ School bell rings ]

Why is it whenever I try and think about life

beyond this place, you really freak out?

'Cause you think you're the only one who does?

No, I'm the only one doing something about it.

You're just chucking it away again.

Ow! [ Gasps ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Clears throat ] Right.

Um, I don't want to take up too much of your time.

I just wanted to say, um --

What --

Th--

I just wanted to say that I think, um --

Nothing. Do you know what?

Go home. Sorry.

Is that it?

Is that what, Sue?

I thought you were gonna give us a rallying pep talk.

Would it have worked?

SUE: Probably not.

Just I put a slow stew on this morning,

thinking we had a meeting like.

Yeah, 'cause 50 Roman candles shoved up your backside

wouldn't pep you up, would it, Sue?

-[ Laughter ] -Or anyone else for that matter.

Oh, it's funny. It's funny, is it?

Well, I tell you what's not funny.

You lot, you bunch of bloody losers.

[ Exhales sharply ] Oh, God. [ Chuckles ]

Oh, felt quite good to say that, actually.

'Cause -- [ Sighs ]

Do you know what?

I really thought I was gonna come here tonight

and, like, attempt to enthuse you all.

And then I stood here just now and I thought,

"What is the point?"

You're like the walking dead.

Your lessons are boring. You're lazy.

Those kids -- Those kids

are laughing at you behind your backs.

And the Trust, well, they just think you're a bunch of rejects.

And I don't blame them, actually.

Get rid, that's what I'd do. I'd bin the bloody lot of you.

You can't say that.

Yes, she can, because she's right, Sue.

If you think that this is a good place to tread water

till you retire, think again.

Because if you don't start pulling your weight 'round here,

I will make sure that this place is such a living hell for you

that you will be begging to be sacked.

So there, consider yourself pepped!

[ Knock on door ]

[ Door opens ]

Well, uh, that was very inspiring.

[ Laughs ]

Yeah. Oh.

-What you gonna do? -MARTIN: Oh.

This job [Sighs] it's changed.

It's not what I got into it for.

Why did you?

Didn't we all think we could make a difference?

I still do.

Which is why I would like to keep you as my deputy head.

Oh.

That's very kind of you. Thank you.

You are alright, though?

Yeah.

I mean, I feel a lot better now I've -- blah.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow.

Try not to punch anyone on the way home.

[ Door opens, closes ]

You should eat.

Why is it, Mum, you think all my problems

can be solved with a plate of food?

Go and talk to her.

And say what? What do I say?

She can't stand the fact

that I'm about to do something with my life,

and as usual, she wants everyone to feel sorry for her.

No, I don't think it's like that at all.

You got it all wrong, beti, you know.

-I remember when I was -- -Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No, please, Mum, I'm not in the mood

for one of your village anecdotes right now.

Not today.

How rude.

You know, you're right bloody selfish sometimes.

I could wring your neck sometimes.

What have I done?

Nothing! That's what you bloody done!

It's always about you and the university.

"Oh, I don't know what to do.

Should I go? Should I stay?" Bloody go!

Oh, great, thanks. Now you, as well?

It's good that your life has changed, huh?

But maybe Missy want her life to change, as well.

What? Running off with the fair?

Maybe that's what she need right now, huh?

You want the time to stand still while you go to the university.

You know what the problem is?

You want your life to change but no one else's.

We have to stay the same.

No, no, no, no, no. See, now you're being ridiculous.

You need to let her go, puttari.

You need to let her feel it's alright to go.

If you don't, she will hate you for it.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Engine revs ]

Well, you're not out for milk, so what is it?

I shouldn't have said what I said.

Is that it?

Okay, you're right. You're right, Missy.

There's no excuse. I was just --

I was angry at you because I wanted Oxford

but I didn't want anything to change.

So I wanted to just go away and do my own thing

and know that you would still be here.

And I know how selfish that sounds.

I was just -- [ Groans ]

I understand now, Missy. I do.

Honest.

Come here.

You should go with Pete, Missy.

You should.

You should go with Pete, and -- and it's not ridiculous.

It's big and it's really brave and it's exactly

what you have been telling me to do my whole life.

I'm just so frightened 'cause everything seems to be changing

and I want everything to stay the same.

It can't.

We've changed already.

We've both got to go.

It's the only way now.

So...

here's for Missy Booth's plan of action.

[ Chuckles ]

You are gonna go to Oxford and you're gonna study hard

and you're get whatever it is you get

for being a swotty Pakistani lesbian sex goddess.

-Missy. -[ Laughs ]

And I'm gonna be doing --

Well, God knows what, but as long as it's not hot dogs,

candy floss, or something that'll break me nails.

But that's not going to happen. not yet.

Okay.

'Cause I'll wait.

I'll wait, and when we go, Nasreen Paracha,

we go the same way we came in.

-Alright? -Okay.

Do you hear that, Ackley Bridge?

Same month! Same day! Same time!

-MAN: Shut up! -Same bloody place!

[ Man shouts indistinctly ]

But until then, let's have some fun.

Okay.

Yeah?

And because I love you so much,

let's go and get your school uniform on.

Come on. Come on!

Has your mam got any cold kebabs?

Do you think about anything but your stomach, ever?

Uh, making life-changing decisions is making me hungry!

[ Laughs ]

Hang on. Mystic Missy better tell Pete his future.

Yeah, you should.

"Dear Pete.

Sorry I won't make it this year.

I've read me tea leaves, and a short, dark lesbian needs me.

-Love --" -Missy!

[ Tires screech ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

ANWAR: I'll get help.

Somebody help!

[ Up-tempo music plays ]