Original subtitles

Are you two friends or something?

No, no.

I just seem to be around when he's in trouble.

We found the knife.

That Charlie's long gone.

You gonna want to file charges on him?

Oh, you people all seem to think that he's cute!

I hate to tell you this Sheriff,

but he was trying to kill... You're damned right

I want to file charges on him. Attempted murder.

- Whatever you say. - Fine.

I'll put out a warrant on him,

but I can't guarantee we're gonna catch him.

Stand up, please.

Wait a minute, what do you talkin' about

you don't think you're gonna catch him?

He lives right here in Blackwater Key.

Everybody in this town knows him.

Well, he lives out in the swamps.

Charlie's a little touched in the head.

He always has been.

But he knows that scrub like his own backyard.

And if he don't want us to catch him,

we won't.

- Oh, great. - Drop your trousers.

Just how much damage did he do to me, Doc?

I'm gonna give you a tetanus shot.

If it gives you any more trouble,

come back again tomorrow.

Now Doc, I don't think he's gonna be around tomorrow.

[groans]

Just what did you mean by that?

Sit down, son.

I believe I'll stand.

Now look, boy, Charlie's got it in for you

on account of that little cocktail waitress.

I ain't never seen him like this before.

Sooner or later, we gonna catch him.

If I was you, I wouldn't hang around town

waiting for it to happen.

I mean... he could come after you again.

[clears throat] Excuse me, Sheriff.

Maybe it's none of my business,

but I'm a visitor here, just like...

this gentlemen.

Now, are you saying

that you can't offer us protection in this town?

I am just telling you what I'd do

if Charlie was after me.

You go on and do what you want.

Uh, Doc,

I hadn't been sleeping too well around here.

I was just wondering if maybe you had something

around the office here, like a sleeping pill,

or something like that.

I'm sorry.

I don't think I can help you, Mr. Simon.

Oh, well, I... Oh, no. That's all right.

Never mind.

[phone ringing]

Yeah? Hello.

- [Janet] A.J.? - No. What's wrong?

Isn't he there?

Janet, what's wrong?

I'm being followed.

- Followed? - Yes.

Well, where are you?

I'm in Miami.

All right, you listen to me.

You drive to a police station and park the car.

I'm at a police station. I'm in a phone booth.

Look, I'm scared to go home, A.J. I don't know what to do.

No, don't go home. I want you to go to Rick's house.

- Can you see who it is? - Well, not really.

But I think he's Cuban.

Cuban.

Means he's following the car, not her.

How long would it take us to get to your place?

Twenty minutes if we had a car, but we don't.

We'll get one.

Kitty?

I need the keys to your car.

Here's 20 bucks. Take a taxi.

- I'll be back later. - A... A... A...

- [door slams] - A.J.!

[loud thud, glass shattering]

[horn blaring]

[groaning]

Wait a minute! Wait!

What's your name? What's your name?

Fernando! Fernando Valecia.

- You got a gun? - Yes.

Please, don't kill me.

Not here.

Let's take him to the dock. We can sink him in the water.

What are you always in such a hurry for?

I want to talk to him first.

Come on, get up on your feet.

- No, please, no! - Move!

I don't know where the money is.

- You'll have to kill me. - Get over there!

[whispers] Money?

We think you do know where it is.

I don't know where it is.

Armando was the only one who knew.

- Armando's dead! - I know he's dead!

But he was supposed to meet us afterwards.

He was the one who hid the money.

He was gonna tell us where he hid it.

We split up after the job.

And he took everything with him.

I don't know where he took it!

I swear to you!

I thought you were looking for it

when you went to see Armando's wife.

The kid on the motorcycle. And you thought I was paranoid?

Well, even paranoids can have enemies.

All right, Fernando.

Get up. We're not gonna kill you.

We don't know where the money is, either.

Come on. Get up, get up!

Can I have a glass of water, please?

- [gun cocks] - Okay, okay.

It was in a boat, it was a big boat,

down in Blackwater Key.

A lot of rich people there. A lot of money.

I've never seen so much money in my life.

Jewelry, watches...

At least a half a million dollars in there.

Half a million dollars on a boat?

No. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whose money was this?

You don't know?

It was a poker game.

Cash on the table.

Was this part of it?

I don't know. Maybe, yeah.

Maybe it belonged to one of the women. We took it all.

Why didn't you split it up, right then and there?

Because it was an inside job, that's why!

You see, we were just hired to do the job.

Armando was the one who got us in to it

and then he goes and gets in that stupid accident of his,

and he dies on us.

I couldn't believe it.

All that money, still down there somewhere

and nobody knows where!

It's obvious they planned to find the missing money and keep it for themselves.

That's exactly what we planned to do.

What would you have done?

- Any luck? - Yeah. Found him.

[sighs]

All right, look, the money was up for grabs.

But that's not the important part.

The important part is that we were trying

to get our client's car back to her

and see what we could do about the fact that

she was getting ripped off!

But I believe your client terminated your services

that evening, did she not?

And then subsequently filed a complaint against you

that you'd stolen her car?

Well, she didn't have any choice in either case.

I mean, I'm sure she filed that complaint under duress.

She didn't look like in no duress to me.

[laughs]

Well, she was.

Look, by the time we got back to Blackwater Key

things were heating up down there.

I mean, we didn't realize it at the time, of course,

but we were being followed.

Check Point, this is Watch Dog 3.

[over radio] The one you're looking for just went by me.

Roger 3, I got 'em. Over.

You can let me out here. I'll walk.

You go give Kitty her car back.

Real friendly dog you got out there.

What the hell you doin' on my boat?

Inventory of contents prior to impound.

My name's David Stallings.

I'm the city attorney for Blackwater Key.

This boat belongs to us.

You got a piece of paper that says so?

Um-hmm.

[rip]

Now it belongs to me again.

Either you get off of my boat,

or you're gonna go swimming.

Sheriff?

You're under arrest.

Arrest? For what?

Um, burglary. Auto.

Oh, come on. I borrowed that car!

No, you didn't.

Let's go.

Hey.

[dog barking]

Hi.

Would you tell him to feed Marlowe?

You tell him yourself.

Hey!

- [car starts] - Hey!

Feed the dog!

What have they got you like that for?

That's just for their own protection.

You boys have been keeping me up

past my bedtime.

Now, that's an inconvenience

I don't need at my age.

The fact is,

it seems that since you've been down here,

you've caused nothing but trouble.

I want to finish this business.

Now, you have something

that belongs to a very dear friend of mine.

Give it to me.

They, uh, asked me to hold it for 'em, Judge.

Oh, well, thank you, Earl.

Thank you. Yes. Yes.

Uh, Miss Kitty?

I've been talking to Senator Gershenson,

and in the light of your honesty,

and the trouble ya'll took to return his wife's property,

he wants to give you a reward.

Reward?

$2,500.

$2,500?

I hope that's satisfactory.

Now, you just put this whole business

out of your mind and you go on home there

and I don't think anything is going to happen

to your two friends.

Of course, that's up to them.

- [door opens] - And, uh, Miss Kitty,

I intend to open up, personally,

a new investigation on Lester's death.

And, if for any reason,

we believe that there was no suicide,

you'll get your insurance money.

Every penny of it,

without having to pay any commission

to anybody.

Good night, Miss Kitty.

Good night.

Bring 'em.

I don't like city boys coming into my county

looking to take money from nice people.

We look after our own down here.

Son, am I getting through to you?

Men that shoot animals for the hell of it

don't impress me.

Oh, let's take it easy, Rick. Come on.

Your brother's smarter than you are.

Well, I never was very smart.

But I can tell a man with a problem when I see one.

And you've got a problem.

You're just lucky you got us here

to help you out with it.

Now, maybe Kitty told you

that we recover things people have lost.

Things like money. It's our business.

Son, please.

Don't you try to hustle me.

Aw, now, Judge. Don't be so hasty.

Your little poker game

got knocked off for quite a bundle.

And it just might be, that with our help,

you could get that money back.

Less our commission, of course.

Poker game?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you remember the one on your boat?

About 3:00 in the morning, four guys came in

and just cleaned you out.

We know who they were.

Well, I suggest you tell me.

Oh, no, that wouldn't do any good

if I did tell ya.

I don't have the money.

Nah, see, they were hired by somebody

that was in the game to do the job.

And I'd just be willing to bet you

that that somebody

is standing right here in this room

right now.

Five players?

Six.

Senator Gershenson.

Business in Washington, otherwise he'd be here.

Anybody else on the boat?

The wives.

Uh, David.

Uh... Gus tended bar.

Tommy Luna drove the boat.

What were your stakes?

Son, I can smell a bluff clear across six counties,

and you're beginning to stink.

Yeah, well I'm not getting any fonder of you, either.

But I never let personal feelings interfere with business.

Now, when we do recover your money,

our cut of it is 50%.

Agreed? Shake on it?

Your sense of humor is beginning to wear thin.

I've a mind to make life miserable for you

just on general principles.

Well then, why don't you just shoot us

and hang us up there on the wall?

Hey, Rick, uh,

that's no way to talk to a client.

[clears throat] Your Honor,

maybe we ought to arrange a stay in a county jail

for these boys.

No. What would be the point?

Either they got information we need,

or they haven't.

And I'm betting they haven't.

Well then, you're just not as good a poker player

as you thought you were, Judge.

You got a murderer runnin' around here somewhere.

And just as soon as you find out

who it was that killed Les Kramer,

that's when you're gonna find out who set up this job.

Now, notice that I didn't say you were gonna find the money.

Why didn't you say that?

Well, because the only man

who knew where that money was hidden

was killed in a hit-and-run auto crash.

That money's lost.

Aha.

So you couldn't recover it even if we wanted you to.

Could you?

Talked yourself into a hole, didn't you?

- Earl? - Yes, sir.

I want the two boys out of here on the boat in the morning.

And boys, if you're wise, you won't mention this.

We've been playing poker together for a long time.

If one of us turned crooked,

we don't want to report it.

We want to deal with it ourselves.

Matter of pride, not money.

Who you tryin' to kid, Judge?

It's a matter of taxes, isn't it?

Now, you couldn't report that robbery,

'cause if you did

the IRS would get mighty interested

in why none of your winners ever paid any.

Is that correct, Senator?

The robbery was not reported for tax purposes?

Well, I really couldn't say, Mr. Minnow.

The decision not to report the robbery

was made without my consultation.

And of course, I always report winnings

at gambling to the IRS.

I'm sure.

Go on.

Ah, so the good Sheriff

locked us up for the night

and while we were in jail,

somebody sneaked on board my boat.

[growling, barking]

Morning.

I hope it wasn't too bad for you fellas last night.

Listen, look this over,

sign it, and you'll get your boat back.

Is it all here?

You boys leaving, are ya?

Well, now, I figured we might do a little fishin'.

Uh, you know any good spots?

Well, depends on what you want to catch.

Well, where did you take the judge's boat

the night of the poker game?

Tommy.

Ain't you got no work to do?

Then do it.

Uh, Tommy, wait up a minute.

Uh, what do you say we hire you for a few hours

and you run us out there?

I'll give you 50 bucks.

Now, you two are leaving town.

Now, there's no harm in us doing a little fishing

on the way out, is there?

Don't worry, Sheriff.

You're never going to see us again.

Is there any way I can stop them, legal?

And keep Tommy from making money?

Sheriff, it's a free country.

Thought you two was going fishing.

- We are fishing. - Yeah, for what?

What's out there, Tommy?

Mangrove swamp.

Any roads through it?

Trails.

Ain't nothing worth getting to.

All right now, you're Armando.

Where do you hide the money?

I'd head for shore. I'd hide the boat.

Dig a hole, bury the money.

And then you just...

And then I just walk right on out of there.

I'd get in my car and I'd drive away.

If I was stopped, that'd be clean as a whistle.

[sighs]

Anytime you feel like coming back,

you come back and get your money.

Well, let's go take a look.

Maybe we'll get lucky.

[high-pitched beep]

- [barking] - Come on!

[laughter]

[Sheriff] That sure is a mess.

What happened to it?

[A.J.] What happened to it?

What do you think happened to it?

It blew up!

Somebody put a bomb on it.

Now, take it easy, boy.

Who'd want to put a bomb on your boat?

Well, I can think of at least half a dozen people for starters.

Keep your voice down.

You're not as smart as you look.

Sheriff!

In my experience, boats just don't blow up!

Something makes it happen!

Something!

That somebody

put on board my boat last night

when you had us in the slammer!

Shut your mouth.

I seen boats worse than that after a gasoline fire.

By the way,

how come you two boys weren't on that boat?

- Judge. - Wha...

Are you actually disappointed

that only one man got killed?

What the hell are you doin' over here?

Gonna rent you a car.

- [Man] Hello, Your Honor. - [Woman] Hello, Your Honor.

Get 'em the hell away from these people.

Ah, boys,

if you expect any insurance money

on your boat,

uh, keep your mouth shut about any bomb.

I don't want any state police or federal agents

snooping around down here.

Is that the only thing you care about?

Keeping your lousy poker game a secret?

That and getting my money back, yes.

You know, boys,

I have a file on you in my office,

charging you with possession of stolen goods,

extortion, obstruction of justice,

assault and battery, insurance fraud,

suspicion of burglary, suspicion of murder,

and Lord knows what else.

Get 'em away from here!

They're gettin'. Let's go.

Hey. You mind?

Damn.

Too bad about your boat.

Too bad about Tommy.

Pelican Rents.

Been a pleasure.

[Rick] See you around, Judge.

Marlowe, lie down. Down.

Down!

Good dog.

All right, why don't you take a look in the mirror

and check out this car that's behind us?

You ever seen it before?

Yeah, it was in the hotel parking lot.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

I think it's following us.

Sure it is. You're getting paranoid again.

Pull in up there.

Why?

Well, I'm starting to get mad.

We've been shoved around and threatened

and run out of town and damn near killed.

I lost my client, you lost your boat.

- My girl. - And the money.

And we got as much right to that as any of those vultures.

[Rick] Excuse me. Hi, there.

We want to trade this thing in

for something with some guts.

No, she said something about that Armando's death wasn't an accident.

What if the inside man on this thing

is too greedy?

He didn't want to share it with Armando.

He didn't want to share it with Les Kramer.

- No, no, no. - What?

- It doesn't make any sense. - How come?

Because the inside man was on board the boat.

Now there's no way in the world

that he could have killed Arman...

Unless there was a third man.

That's right. A third man.

Somebody who was supposed to meet Armando

and take him to some pre-designated hiding place

out here in this swamp.

Well, he did that

but then he followed him out again.

That money's not lost.

They know exactly where it is,

and they're gonna take us to it.

Who's gonna take us to it?

We still don't know who the inside man was.

Will you use your head for something besides a hat rack!

We don't have to know who the inside man was,

we know somebody who knows who the inside man was.

Oh, we do do we! Who?

Ahh!

Les Kramer died of an overdose of alcohol

and sleeping pills, right?

- Right. - Where do you get alcohol?

- Liquor store. - Where do you get sleeping pills?

Oh, hi.

Uh, Doc, I was wondering

if you could take a look at this arm of mine.

I'm sorry. I have guests.

Ohh.

Well, it is beginning to bother me,

and you told me that I ought to come by and see you

if it troubled me.

I really hate to put you out,

but you're the only doctor in town.

Come in.

I'm surprised it's bothering you, Mr. Simon.

I could redress it, but if it's really serious...

Well, I'll tell you the truth, Doc,

something else all together's been bothering me.

I really don't have time for something else.

Uh, about Les Kramer.

And the barbiturates you injected into his stomach

after he was dead.

Get out of my house.

Immediately.

I'm calling the sheriff.

Now, why don't we talk first?

You threatening me?

Ahh. Well, yeah.

You boys are already in a lot of trouble.

Well, geez, so are you, Doc.

I mean, Les Kramer didn't kill himself,

and your autopsy said he did.

The autopsy was performed by the county medical examiner.

Really?

Well, how did you get the barbiturates into him?

I don't have to stand for this.

I don't think that gun of yours means anything.

Not here.

Witnesses in the backyard.

How much was your share of the money gonna be?

I hope it was a lot

'cause you're flat gonna need it.

I'm walking out of this room.

We know where the money is,

and we're gonna get it, but that's not good enough.

We're gonna get you, and we're gonna get your partner.

Ridiculous.

I thought he'd never leave.

[chuckles]

"We know where the money is."

[chatter, laughter]

[Rick] Now we knew the general area in the swamp

where the money had to be hidden.

Only problem was we had to get out there

and find a place to hide and wait.

And then when the inside man showed up,

we'd just let him lead us to the money.

'Course, with A.J. drivin',

didn't quite work out that way.

Ah, it's just a little mud puddle.

It can't be all that deep. Hit it.

Hit it!

All right.

Great drivin'.

Just terrific.

[engine revving]

[engine stalls]

[sighs]

Don't get your gun wet.

- [dog whines] - Stay in there, Marlowe.

Just get in.

No use in all of us gettin' wet.

Oh, boy.

Whoa.

[whistles]

Hey, while you're out there,

could you get the windshield for me?

- Okay, try it one time. - [engine starts]

[engine revving]

Shut it off!

Somebody's coming. Let's get out of here.

[grunting]

All right, now just take it easy

and don't get too close.

Get the shovel, Charlie, and come with me.

Okay.

Hurry it up! What all's in there?

This guy lives here.

He's got food in there

and a case of rifle shells and a detonator.

[Rick] You see who's in the jeep?

[A.J.] Not from here.

Nice guy. Doesn't even help.

Got to be our money.

[gunshot]

Oh, my God!

Stay down. I'm drawing fire.

Watch it!

A.J., pull up. Let me check this guy.

How is he?

Damn.

Go, go, go, go!

Don't let him get back to the beach.

You wanna drive?

Look, there's a case of rifle shells in that shack!

Hit your lights. Blind him!

Hold it! Hold it right there!

I said hold it!

Right there! Get out of the jeep.

Put your hands on your head!

[gun clicks]

[gunfire]

Just stay down! Stay low! Stay low!

[gunshot]

Who was that? What happened?

[Man over speaker] Are you two all right down there?

[Rick yelling] Who are those guys?

[A.J. yelling] Hey!

Who are you guys?

Name's Brewster, Internal Revenue Service!

You're the IRS?

- Yes. - He's the IRS!

He's that guy that was following us!

Like to think you'd be glad I was!

Stallings very nearly killed you.

Hey, what are you talking about?

We had him right where we wanted him!

Right?

Are you crazy?

Hey!

What's gonna happen to the money?

It's been confiscated by Uncle Sam.

Hey! Hey!

Uh, there's not any chance

of a reward on this or anything?

Well, technically,

you never had possession of the money!

Well, yeah, but see, we...

And I'm not so sure if you'd had had it,

you'd have given it back to us!

Well, yeah, but see, you probably, uh...

You're probably right about that.

Look, if you ever have any problems

with your income tax, gimme a call.

I'll see if I can help you.

I don't have any income to tax!

Hey! Can we get a ride?

Not this trip! But thanks for the help!

If it hadn't been for you guys,

we wouldn't have cracked this case!

What?

Don't go away!

We'll be back for ya!

Wouldn't dream of it!

He said "Don't go away."

Oh, I wouldn't dream of it!

- [dog barking] - Marlowe!

I talked to the insurance agent again.

And he said it might take a month or two

to get the claim processed and the check written.

And that's if Dr. Percy pleads guilty in court.

Which he won't.

I might have to wait until the trial's over

and they find him guilty.

If they do.

I might not ever get this money.

You'll see it.

I'll send you the check when I do.

- I promise. - I believe you.

Guess I'll see you later.

Well, hello, Judge.

Come on in. Sit down. Have a beer.

Um-hmm.

How you doin', Earl?

Make yourself at home.

If you two boys ever set foot

in my county again,

I will personally assure you

a stay in the county jail,

a trial by a jury of your peers,

and a long stretch in the state penitentiary.

Whoo!

Uh, I don't suppose we'd have to

break a law or anything like that...

Absolutely not.

No, no. We will provide all the particulars.

You boys don't know me.

I'm a vengeful man,

and you cost me a great deal of money,

and I don't intend to forget it.

- Sheriff! - Oh, no, Earl.

Don't trouble yourself.

We can find our own way out of town by now.

Judge, I just want you to know,

that seeing you come out on the short end of the stick

has made it all worthwhile.

What are you doin'?

I'm thirsty.

Ahh.

[sighs]

[groans]

Hey!

- Hi. - Hi.

Kitty called and said you were stranded.

- Uh, yeah. - Yeah?

You gonna let us in, or what?

Janet!

Well, are you going back to work?

- A.J.! - All right!

All right. I'll go back to work for Peerless Detectives!

What about him?

Just fishin' trips, okay?

- Okay. - No, you're lying to me again.

- Am I lying to her? - No, absolutely not.

Just fishin' trips. [gasping]

All right. See?

Okay. Are you gonna run all the way to Miami?

[A.J.] It wasn't long after that Myron was transferred

to the Peerless Detectives office in San Diego.

And just a few months later,

he called and offered me a job,

and I decided to move back to California.

Janet and I...

eventually decided that marriage

was not in the cards for us.

Then when I got my private investigator's license

in California, Rick moved back also,

and we went into business together.

And I don't think you'll find any criminal charges

against us in the State of California.

While I was gone from the hearing, Mr. Minnow,

I made contact with Special Agent Brewster

from the Internal Revenue Service in Washington.

He gave me a statement over the telephone,

which I've transcribed for you.

I think you'll see he, uh,

corroborates everything my clients have said.

[gavel pounding]

It's the finding of the board

that the allegations against you

on the books of the county of Blackwater Key,

State of Florida,

are without merit in California.

Senator, the board has considered the matter

of the damages to the car

you were driving here in San Diego.

And it's our finding that Richard and Andrew Simon

acted improperly in commandeering the vehicle

for a high speed chase and consequently damaging it.

The board has elected to impose

a fine on the firm of Simon & Simon Investigations

in the amount of... $100.

Which, in light of the inconvenience

they've suffered as a result of this hearing,

the board feels is adequate.

Have a nice flight, Sheriff.

Congratulations.

You're back in business.

- Thanks a lot. - Thank you very much.

- [sighs] - Well.

Ahh.