Original subtitles

[Announcer] Last hour, on Magnum...

I don't know how you hot shots

operate in California.

While Rick and A.J. matched wits with Thomas,

- Thomas... - Wax that, hot shot.

A beautiful con artist...

I sometimes get very lonely.

- Don't you. - Sometimes.

Escaped with $350,000.

You sent her to the bank?

Hold that plane.

Well, how about L.A.,

'cause this baby just left?

I am going with you!

Magnum, that woman used me, stripped me of my dignity.

Okay, Higgins, go get her.

We'll take care of him.

Oh, Higgins can take care of himself.

You just take care of Catherine.

- And now, continuing - [bang]

on tonight's Simon & Simon...

I do believe I am beginning to smell the rich,

dark aroma of a con.

I smell a lot of money being made here.

A lot of money, am I right?

I'm not at all sure this plan will work.

The woman is nobody's fool, you know?

So trust us.

Oh, that's a hot one. You gotta be kidding.

Hang on and duck.

[tires squealing]

♪♪ [theme]

[cork pops]

You know there's something really nice

about champagne well-chilled at 30,000 feet,

being served to you by this absolutely gorgeous

- flight attendant. - How are you, Sylvia?

Thank you.

What more could you ask for?

Well, well, let's...

Let's not count the bubbles until the cork is popped, okay?

Oh, come one. Lighten up, little brother.

Now, Catherine's airplane oughta be touching down

in LAX any minute now, the F.B.I. there to greet her,

and Higgins on the next flight.

- Hmm. - [popping sound]

Time to party.

[pouring champagne]

- To my brother. - Nope.

- To my brother. - No, to my brother.

Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking.

We'll have you on the ground in Los Angeles in just a minute.

There is going to be a slight delay getting into the terminal

because of a press conference of some kind.

We're sorry for the inconvenience.

Hope you had a nice flight.

Looking forward to having you fly with us again.

Aha, you see? The media's already in on it.

Ah, isn't that too bad?

In fact, I bet they're waiting for us when we land.

Tell you what, I'll flip you for the mini-cams.

- Oh, no, you handle those. - Thank you very much.

I'll take care of all the papers and the wire services.

- Well, you've always been better at that. - Mm-hmm.

- On the other hand... - Yes?

If it's the network, then we sing a duet.

Ah, Simon and Simon, details at 11.

Certainly like the sound of that.

Oh, boy.

What network do you supposed they're with?

Everybody must be at the wrong gate.

Except us, of course.

We seem to be at the right gate.

Yes, we certainly are.

[Rick sighs]

Guess the F.B.I. just didn't want all that publicity.

Yeah.

What do you mean, a small problem?

Catherine Hailey was on flight number 23

from Honolulu.

And Higgins' plane was supposed to land

ten minutes afterwards...

Look, didn't any of this happen?

Well, not exactly.

What do you mean, not exactly?

What did happen, exactly?

- There! That's her. - You got her.

That's not her.

You don't have her.

Thanks for telling us we've let a woman

who embezzled $350,000

slip through our fingers.

And without a doubt,

the underpinnings of her ultimate chicanery

were predicated from the very beginning

on the swindle of money from a charity auction,

to benefit a group of needy orphans.

Are we all together on this?

We've been over it before.

This tends to remind me of 28 days

of unrelenting misery,

which I spent in a Changi tiger cage.

All right, you can go now.

Aha! Progress!

You've managed to apprehend the two blaggards

who broke into the estate.

Wrong, Higgins.

We're on the same side.

We are?

Yes.

Well, Magnum did mention something about...

Higgins, they have said that you can go

and that we'll straighten all this out later.

After you.

And then you two came along

and added even more confusion

to already foul stew.

Clearly, a recipe for disaster.

I'll call Magnum.

Call collect.

[dog growling]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hello, Magnum?

What took you so bloody long?

- Higgins. - Where are you?

Well, I'm in the kitchen feeding the lads.

That's very commendable, but even they will have to wait.

We've got a major crisis on our hands.

I know, Higgins. The police called.

We've been victimized by an incredible ruse.

Higgins!

I'm at a total loss at to how she...

Uh, Magnum, Rick Simon. Listen.

Somebody doubled Catherine and flew in her place.

I know. That's what I've been trying to tell Higgins.

She bribed a woman in the ladies' room here.

At least we know where she went.

Panagua, Costa Nueva.

Oh.

Yeah, that's the good news.

That's the good news?

What's the bad news?

Costa Nueva doesn't have

an extradition treaty

with the United States. Now, I'll be there

as soon as I can grab a flight.

Magnum? A.J.

Look, she never saw me or Rick face to face, right?

I don't think so. Why?

Because if you go after her and she runs again,

you can spend the best part of your life

playing cat and mouse in South America.

However, if we go after her,

- she won't have her guard up, - Pst, A.J.!

- Hey, A.J.! No, no. - She won't...

Just a second. She won't know

that she's been made, and we can catch her.

Come on, I don't even know you guys.

So trust us.

That's a hot one. You gotta be kidding.

All right, so don't trust us.

We'll keep in touch.

Let me talk to Higgins.

Yes?

- What? What's the problem? - I understand completely.

Of course.

Have you ever been to Costa Nueva?

No. Why, have you?

Buenos días, señorita.

Oh, Catherine.

What a delightful sight.

My goodness.

You certainly have gotten more physical

since my last visit.

In Costa Nueva, one who runs for office

must also be prepared to run from it.

Here today, Miami tomorrow.

[speaking Spanish]

I understand.

Your latest swindle was a big success.

Now, tell me,

who was your happy victim this time?

Sam Pineapple Baron?

No, better than that.

An orphanage.

An orphanage?

Marvelous.

Daddy's mining orphans?

$200,000 in cash,

and another 150,000 in cashier's checks.

Do you think I'll have any problem cashing them?

Of course not, Katerina.

We'll just issue the new million-percent note.

With my picture. My picture looks quite impressive.

Ramón, the only presidents I bank with

are Washington and Lincoln.

I understand, Catherine.

But, uh, perhaps

I can guide you into an investment, hmm?

This money goes right into a safe deposit box,

and that is exactly where it's going to stay.

Till I need it.

I worked very hard for this,

and no one is gonna take it away from me.

Not even you.

[laughing]

At least, allow me to ensure its safety.

I will give you Raúl.

Take him with you wherever you go.

He will be your personal bodyguard.

He will not allow anybody to get near you.

Anybody.

Except me, of course, hmm?

Of course, Ramón.

[Rick] Benson. Henry Benson.

No, I'm not a member of the family.

He's an old friend of mine.

No, no, no, not Henson.

Operator, ¡por favor!

Benson!

Ben-son!

Sí, Enrique.

- Hey, señor. - Gracias.

You wanna buy a lottery ticket?

- Shh. - You win a million.

A million what?

A million pesetas.

It's about 100 bucks. Hello?

You can buy a lot with 100 dollars in Costa Nueva.

- Cameras, radios, TVs - Hello? Damn.

Hey, you guys like animals?

Not that much we don't.

Cut me off. Wonderful country.

We oughta be sending them telephones

instead of M16s. What...

Higgins, don't turn around.

Just keep on going.

Catherine's in the lobby, and she's coming this way.

Tell me when the coast is clear,

- and I'll repair to my room. - Okay.

Go, now.

[Kid] I got it, señor.

I got a special deal for both of you.

Walk west til your hat floats, kid.

- Get outta here. - Shares in a gold mine.

Mucho oro.

What gold mine?

Beat it, will ya?

Hello, Ramón.

Oh, Catherine.

You lovely this morning.

[giggling]

Well, she sure didn't waste any time

getting to know the right people, did she?

That is definitely somebody

with a lot of coffee beans.

Coal mines.

What's wrong with you?

I do believe I'm beginning to smell

the rich, dark aroma of a con.

Hey, kid! [whistles]

Yo, kid!

Whoa. Look it, uh...

I don't like gold mines too much.

What other kind of mines you got in this country?

Are you pulling my chain, man?

No. What kind of mines you got? - We got it all.

We got silver, we got, uh, copper, borax, emeralds.

Emeralds, emeralds. I like the sound of that.

- What do you think? - I think you're crazy.

Well, I know that, but what do you think

- about an emerald mine? - I don't...

[Together] Oh, hi, guys.

- Uh, you probably want us... - Let's take it easy here.

I mean, hey, there's a curb back here.

A.J.?

You okay?

A.J.?

You okay?

Hey!

Up you go. Atta boy.

- Oh. - You're okay, now, huh?

- Yeah. - You're sure?

Oh, God.

We've gotta call the American ambassador.

Good idea.

Little bit late, though.

The American ambassador left, 1958.

- What? - Yeah, but I figured out why we're in here.

Remember you wrote down that license number?

President's car. They think we're terrorists.

Oh, no.

Aw, don't worry about it. We're in Fat City here.

- Fat City? - Mm-hmm.

If you're idea of Fat City

is sitting here watching these walls sweat

for the next 20 years, then you are right.

We are in Fat City right up to our necks.

Not if we use our heads.

Now, Henry's gonna get us out of here.

In the meantime, we haven't blown our cover,

and while you were asleep,

I figured out a way of nailing Catherine.

- You did? - Yeah, you're gonna love it.

- I doubt it. - No, you will. Listen to this.

Now, Catherine's beautiful.

I mean, you gotta admit,

she is an attractive woman, right?

Probably a very good conversationalist,

lonely, hungry for love.

- No. Oh no. - Yeah. Oh yeah.

Look, I don't know what you're thinking, but the answer is no.

Aw, come on, A.J.

No, forget... What am I worried about?

We're gonna be here til we're 50?

- You can't find Henry. - Yes, I can.

Wait a minute. Wasn't Henry the guy

that used to send you little packages

that arrived already opened?

Yeah, but he got out of the import/export business.

I understand now that he's down here

and he's a legitimate journalist.

Oh, great. That's just great.

You're never gonna find him.

You can't even remember what he looks like.

No, no, no.

Guy like Henry, you don't forget.

Man, he's a...

Well, he looks a lot like that guy right over there.

He is that guy right over there.

[Rick] Hey, Henry!

Rick?

Yo, haggis!

Ricky?

- Rick... Ricky! - Hey!

How you doing!

- Ricky! - Good to see you, buddy!

Gee, what are you doing here, man?

I'm looking for you. What are you doing in jail?

- I'm in here all the time. - Yeah?

I keep getting caught by the government.

- Aww. - See, I've been researching

this giant piece on the revolution

for Rolling Stone.

I've been with the guerrillas for...

For a year now, in the mountains.

- You know, like Plimpton did with the Lions? - Yeah.

And let me tell you,

Super Sunday is coming real soon.

Ah, glad to hear it.

[Henry] Is that your brother?

- Yeah. - No, don't get up, man.

Good to see you again, huh?

Uh, Henry... How can we get out of here?

Hey, man, getting out is no problem.

See? What'd I tell ya, huh?

It just takes a lot of money.

[A.J.] How much money?

Half a million, at least.

[A.J.] Oh, no.

Pesetas?

- Ooh, no. - Sure, man. What else?

A.J... - Oh... - A.J.

- Oh. - About 50 bucks.

Oh.

Henry, you've been down here too long.

[A.J.] What, hello? Hello? Operator?

What? Hello? Hello? What?

No, I do not want to talk to Santiago in Chile.

I am trying to get through to San Diego

in California, in the U.S.A.

I'm not at all sure this plan will work.

The woman is nobody's fool, you know?

Well, she doesn't have to be.

She's greedy, and she's larcenist,

and A.J. over there is gonna be charming

and even more larcenist.

Right, A.J.?

No, no, no. It's up here, right there.

There aren't any emerald mines in that part of the country.

There aren't any guerillas in that part of the country, either.

What? Hello?

[Janet] Hello?

- Janet? - Hi. How are you?

- Hi, yeah it's me. - I know, how are you?

- Fine. - Good, how's Rick?

Yeah, he's fine, too.

How's it going? It's good to hear your voice.

Terrific, yes. It's good to hear your voice.

[static]

- Uh, Janet? - Yes.

How would you like a vacation?

- What? - Vacation.

- Hell, hello. - Gracias.

- Hi, how are ya? - How are ya?

Hi. You know, I was a little worried

when I saw the plane and then this airport.

I was thinking, "Uh-huh, some vacation.

"What have the guys got me roped into this time?"

But, I do like the car.

The car is nice.

Uh, well, actually...

I'm really just here to say hello.

Uh, Rick has got other transportation for you.

Here he comes right now.

Rick's gonna explain everything, okay?

I got a date with a red convertible.

I'll see you soon.

[honks]

[honks again]

- [tires screech] - Oh, mo!

Sorry about that.

Didn't mean to cause any damage there.

Uh, hey... Let's take it easy, now.

It's just a little fender bender.

Hold it, Raúl.

Thank you.

I think you just saved my life.

Temporarily.

He can kill you as soon as I get your address and phone number

and the name of your insurance company.

Oh, hey, come on.

There's no need to report this to the policía.

I have a friend who does great body work.

You don't do your own body work.

Not on cars.

But I'll get yours fixed.

24 hours, as good as new.

Is there some reason you don't want me

to report this to the policía?

No, you know. Just red tape, that's all.

If I agree to this,

and that car is not as good as new,

you're in big trouble.

It'll be better than new.

Tell you what, let's meet at the Playa Real

at 11:00, and work out all the details, okay?

At 11.

You have just picked a very expensive way to get acquainted.

Drive carefully.

Guess what, A.J. I got through to Daddy in Texas,

and I told him to come on down here, it's so beautiful.

- I told him about that beautiful stretch of beach... - Um.

What's a matter, darlin'?

Well, now, I know I told you we'd go into town.

But I've got a little business I have to take care of first.

- Business? - Just a little bitty business.

Now, you go on by yourself.

All alone?

Just for a few little bitty minutes.

Little bitty minutes?

Little bitty minutes.

Better be bitty. Okay.

[kissing]

[Janet] Love ya.

Yes.

Hi.

Sorry I'm late.

Can I get you a fresh drink?

Oh, no. I wouldn't want you to mix business with pleasure,

now would I?

Or keep Debbie from Dallas waiting.

It's Janet from Houston.

What's the matter?

Nothing, I just had the wrong idea, apparently.

I'm sorry.

About the car... I'm sorry about that, too.

Give me the keys. I'll get it fixed.

I'll bring it back to you tomorrow.

Hey, that car is worth $50,000 down here.

Now, what on earth makes you think

I'm going to believe you, a perfect stranger,

I want some protection.

What do you mean by protection?

I mean collateral.

Either that, or I call the policía.

Oh, come on. I don't go around with $50,000 on me, you know.

That's not my problem, is it?

Well, what would be acceptable to you as collateral?

Anything I can turn into instant cash,

just in case you drive off with my car

and I never see you again.

You're causing me a lot of trouble.

You should have thought about that

out on the highway, shouldn't you?

Mm-hmm.

All right. Wait here. I'll be right back.

Is that real?

Of course it's real.

What do you think I am?

If you'd allow me.

Genuine.

It's working.

She's falling for it.

- Got the emerald for me? - Just now.

Wow.

All right.

You've got me in a bind.

So, I'm gonna trust you with something

that's worth about three times

what your car costs.

What is it?

Well, first you have to promise me something.

You have to promise that you will not

show this to anyone. Not even your friend, over there.

You promise?

Maybe.

It's beautiful.

Where did you get this?

Ugh, I'm not gonna tell you that.

You have to promise you won't show it to anyone.

You swear?

You can count on me.

You were right.

She took it to the jewelry store

and gave it to the jeweler.

And she said we could trust her.

Eh, we can... to be greedy and larcenist.

I'm beginning to have more faith in this scheme.

Now, timing is critical from this point on.

It's imperative she contact you again, and quickly.

- She will. - When she does, we must have pinpoint coordination.

Rather like a military campaign, actually.

Reminds me of the Dutch-African business.

Must be the climate.

Cheers.

[All] Cheers.

Well, I got your message you wanted to see me.

Why here?

I thought it would be a nice place for us

to have a nice, quiet, private little talk.

Okay.

Talk.

I got your emerald appraised.

Wh... what?

You swore!

You swore to me, the one thing I asked you not to do...

I told you you could count on me, and you can.

I didn't tell the jeweler where I got it.

Did he ask?

Of course he asked. He was very curious.

As a matter of fact, he informed me

that emerald mining is controlled in this country.

And he didn't think that stone looked like

it came from a government mine.

Uh, you stupid woman.

You have ruined everything.

I haven't ruined anything.

I told him I got it in New York,

and he believed me.

I can be very convincing.

Now, all I have to do is just convince you

to tell me where you really got it.

A.J., maybe I haven't mentioned it yet,

but I'm a very good businesswoman.

And I smell a lot of money to be made here.

A lot of money.

Am I right?

I think you're on to an emerald mine.

And for some reason, you don't want the government

to know where it is.

Not 'til I own it.

Maybe I could help.

[sighs]

I wish you could.

Some other time, some other place, maybe... But not now.

Why not?

'Cause I'm buying it, with Janet's money.

Well, Janet's Daddy's money.

Janet and I are engaged to be married.

Do you love her?

All right.

How much money are we talking about?

$400,000 in cash.

But when I sell it to the government,

it'll be worth $2 million.

I want in on this.

But you can't.

Don't you understand? If Janet gets jealous,

she'll go home to Daddy, and then the whole deal's off.

Well, the way I see it, you don't have a whole lot of choice.

As a matter of fact, the way I see it,

I'm already kind of a partner in this.

Because if I say anything to El Presidente about you,

your deal is off.

Now, I don't intend to say anything to him,

but I think I should get

something in return.

What?

Why don't we talk about it later?

I can't be seen with you.

You'll arrange something.

You seem to be very good at putting

Debbie from Dallas on hold All right.

I'll buy you dinner, in my room.

But it has to be early, say, 6:00.

What's the matter? Something's gone wrong.

No, nothing's happened. Everything's fine.

She's having dinner in my room at 6.

I just don't like this, very much.

I'm starting to enjoy her... conversation.

Look, uh, if I could, I'd take over for ya.

Buck up. Almost over. There's the boy.

Now, dinner at 6.

How long do you think it'll take you

to make her sufficiently, shall we say,

compromised for Janet to burst into the room?

Well, I don't really have much of an appetite,

so I think 6:30 would be just fine.

Excellent, 6:30.

You'll be on the balcony outside the bedroom.

When your brother signals with his glass,

you relay the signal to Janet,

who will then enter the room,

see her fiancé in the arms of another woman,

promptly pack her bags and flee back home to Daddy in Texas.

Thereby, leaving the field clear for Catherine Haley

to finance the purchase of the mine.

I suggest we get started.

We have less than an hour.

Synchronize please.

Time?

Um, 5:10.

On the mark.

I gotta go get ready.

[knock at door]

[Man speaking Spanish]

All right.

Janet Fowler?

Yes, I'm Janet Fowler? What is it?

[speaks Spanish] Under arrest.

Wait, wait.

What are you talking about, arrest?

I am an American citizen. You can't do this.

[cork pops]

To the right time and place.

Mmn. That's delicious.

Vintage champagne is good for the soul.

[Woman] So is this.

Good news.

[laughter]

[speaks Spanish]

When my men informed you you were under arrest,

I hope they mentioned it was merely house arrest.

My house.

Come with me, Señorita. Please come.

Light on the palette with just a touch of impertinence.

- Here's to impertinence. - Hmm.

[glass breaks]

[Catherine] A.J.

[whistles] Manuel.

[tires screech]

Ah, um... To even more impertinence.

[laughs]

[glass breaks]

Delicious, I'm stuffed. Wonderful.

I'm glad you liked it.

It was wonderful.

Service is wonderful.

Political prisoners.

Tell me, señorita,

was the dessert to your taste?

Yes, it was fine, thank you.

I can hardly wait to taste mine.

One moment, please.

So I can slip into something more comfortable.

One moment.

Well, whatever makes you happy.

Oh, I hope so.

Finger bowl, Señorita?

No, thank you... Oh.

Manuel, what are you doing here?

Señor Rick is outside.

He asked if you, uh, remember his friend Marlowe?

Marlowe is his dog, yes. Why?

He says when it gets hot out, the bugs start to bite.

Marlowe can't sleep.

Señor Rick, he gives them these.

See, Marlowe's a very big dog.

Almost as big as El Presidente.

You slip him a couple of these,

give him a few hours to sleep,

then we come and get you out.

- No. - No?

El Presidente said if I really wanted to leave,

I could.

Now that I have these as protection, why should I want to?

I kind of like it here.

I tell you what, you tell Señor Rick

that if he needs me, he can call me, okay?

Okay.

Manuel, thanks anyway.

Catherine?

Yeah, uh, yes... Sí.

Señorita Fowler.

Reminds me of an assault we once made up the Khyber.

Bloody fighters, those Africans.

Get their teeth in ya and never let go.

Good dogs, too.

Janet Fowler.

Sí, gracias.

Do you mind explaining to me what happened to you last night?

Huh?

I gave you the signal.

I kept giving you the signal

until I ran out of glasses.

Catherine gave a few signals of her own, I'm afraid.

El Presidente had Janet arrested.

What?

Don't... Don't worry about it.

She's okay... Yeah?

Getting a massage?

Who, Janet?

All right, then let me speak to El Presidente.

Still asleep, is he?

That's nice.

All right, thanks a lot.

You told Janet she was coming down here for a vacation?

She's having one.

And did you have a fun time last night.

You weren't out there all night, were you?

Rick.

No, the only spectator sport I enjoy is football.

And I nearly busted my neck getting off of that balcony last night.

- It wasn't exactly a picnic for me, either. - Aw, jeez.

Gentlemen, this is hardly the time for petty sibling bickering.

By arranging Janet's arrest,

Catherine has actually done most of our work for us.

We're precisely at the point of this game where we want to be.

And after last night's, shall we say,

um, skillful establishment of the beach head,

I believe the hound is ready to corner the fox.

You're really something, you know that?

I just found out that Janet is no longer a guest at this hotel.

Well, you're not only cute. You're smart.

Thanks to you, I'm also probably dead.

Listen, Catherine,

I didn't tell you why I've been keeping this mine

a secret from the government.

I am buying the mine from the guerillas.

They need cash for weapons.

That is why I am getting such a good price.

- From the guerillas? - Yes.

One of them is coming into town this morning

at 10:00. He wants to see the cash.

Now, you have got to get Janet out of the palace.

Immediately.

Enrique is risking his life coming to this meeting.

If I don't have the money, he will blow my head off.

Can you delay this meeting till 10:30?

Sure, sure.

He'll be glad to torture me for an extra half hour,

then blow my head off.

Honey, the banks don't open until 10:00.

That's why I need till 10:30.

You have the money.

I mean, American dollars?

Why do you think I wanted to be your partner?

You see, you don't need Debbie from Dallas anymore.

Partner.

[knocking at door]

Is that you?

[Catherine] Yes.

Hey, whoa, no. Don't... Don't.

Nobody's gonna shoot.

Raúl come on.

Tell them I want to see the deed and the uncut stones.

[A.J.] Sí.

It's all right. I speak imperialist.

Okay, we go after the mine.

No.

First, I take the money back to the bank.

Then we go out to the mine.

Okay.

This afternoon.

After lunch.

Gentlemen.

What was all that about?

Nothing, I, uh, just changed my mind.

Why don't you get in?

I slept like a tree last night.

Good.

And you, my dear?

Like a tree.

By the way,

did we enjoy ourselves last night?

Now, are you gonna tell me that you don't remember that?

Yes, but not clearly.

It was wonderful.

Really?

Good.

What are you doing with a map?

Oh, I was looking up here at the northern section of the country.

You know, I think that might be a good place to go for a picnic.

- A picnic? - Mn-hmm.

Very funny.

- Funny? - Mn-hmm.

Of course, you haven't heard the latest news

about the guerillas.

My aid just woke me up to tell me all about it.

Traitors.

Traitors, moved into the north, last night.

They have taken control of all the territory here.

They control all the territory next to Anador's border.

[phone rings]

- Yeah? - Rick?

Ah, gee, Janet. Nice of you to take the time to call.

Never mind that. I gotta talk to you.

[Janet breaks up]

Janet?

Janet, I can barely hear you.

Real guerillas, hello?

Janet, I can't hear a word you're saying.

Listen, I'll talk to you later, sweetheart.

Okay, I gotta go. Bye-bye.

[whispering] Hello?

Rick, did you hear what I said?

Buenas tardes, señorita.

Straight out.

- Enrique? - Stop the Jeep.

¡Venga aquí!

Oh, boy. We got problems.

Well, those are government troops. Aren't you forgetting something?

I'm very good friends with El Presidente.

Catherine, Enrique is a guerilla leader.

He's known throughout the country. They will shoot him on sight.

They will probably shoot us on sight, too.

[speaking Spanish]

- Oh, boy. - What are we going to do?

There's only one thing we can do, and that's make a run for it.

Hang on and duck.

Watch out!

[gunfire]

Come on, man! Let's go! We're losing them!

Now, take it easy. Don't forget. Raúl's firing real bullets.

[gunfire]

[gunfire continues]

Oh, man!

- I said it was live ammo. - Don't get so close.

Are we over the border yet?

I don't know. It isn't marked. I can't be sure.

We got to be sure. Let's keep going.

All right.

[gunfire]

[speaks Spanish]

[men shouting in Spanish]

Oh, no!

- Who are those guys? - Those are the real guerillas.

[Man speaks Spanish]

I think we lost them.

Any idea where we are?

Yeah, we know where we are.

Uh, don't do that, Raúl.

[speaks Spanish]

No, no, no, no, no. No, Catherine.

Come on.

I don't want you to do anything that we both might regret later.

Like killing me.

They're right on time.

A.J., what's going on?

I'm sorry. This time you've been set up.

Oh, you really are good.

There's no mine, is there?

And Debbie from Dallas?

Janet, San Diego.

You know, you've forgotten one little thing, though.

All they're going to do is just give me a ride

right back to the president's house.

I've got a "Get Out of Jail Free" card here.

We are still in Costa Nueva, remember?

No.

Uh, well, it's not marked,

but we crossed the border quite a ways back.

Welcome to Anador.

And they do have an extradition treaty here with the United States.

[sirens wailing]

Wait a minute. Rick should've been here by now.

- I'll go look. - No.

[mutters]

[Rick shouts in Spanish]

[men whooping, whistling]

- Mmm! - [gunshot]

- [men whooping] - Yee-haw!

You son of a... A.J.!

How did it go, huh?

- It went fine. - All right. Hey, Enrique!

These are some friends of yours over here.

Don't be on the ground, man. Come here.

Yee-haw!

[men cheering]

[laughing]

Oh!

Hey!

Gracias.

Mmm!

[coughs]

Gotcha!

Higgins.

You're back.

Why didn't you call me? I could've picked you up at the airport.

We arrived quite early this morning,

and I felt it wiser to let sleeping dogs lie,

as it were.

[sighs]

I heard everything went all right.

Yes. Catherine's arraignment is this afternoon.

- Good. - Rick and A.J. Simon will also be there.

- Perhaps you could give them... - They're here?

Of course. The prosecutor subpoena'd them as witnesses.

Nice chaps, actually.

Higgins, I just changed the linens yesterday.

Yes, I'm sure you did.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

The state provides accommodation for its witnesses.

But a one-star hotel is hardly adequate recompense for such stellar witnesses.

Especially when they're the ones who saved your little stars.

- Hey, Magnum. How you doing? - Hi.

- Hi, guys. - Hello, Magnum. How's the shoulder?

Oh, it's fine.

Spare keys so you can come and go freely.

- Terrific. - Thank you.

Need any additional linens, Magnum knows where everything is.

Oh, listen, I did take the liberty of rearranging the stuff in your closet.

- We needed some more room. - You never know how long these court cases are gonna drag on.

That's true. Hey, remember that embezzlement case in Fresno?

Ooh, boy. We were stuck there for three months.

- Uh-huh. - Can you imagine?

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA