Original subtitles

KIDs FROM sHAoLIN

- Congratulations, master! - Thank you.

Oh, Pao...

Mum's given birth again!

Mum's given birth again!

- What's she given birth to this time? - Sister, mum's...

Hey, is it a boy or a girl?

- Let's find out. - Okay.

Sister, mum's given birth again!

- What did she have? - What did she have?

- Mum... Mum. . . - Stop gasping.

- Tell me, is it a boy or a girl? - It's another phoenix.

- She can play with us!! - Mum's had a girl!

It's another phoenix!

Your mum's failed again. My dad ...

It has nothing to do with your dad!

San Feng, stop! You've gone too far!

Dad said we should have nothing to do with Shaolin boys.

If you want to complain, speak to him.

- You act just Iike a dragon. - Tomboy!

Shaolin dragons can't lose to a Wu Tang phoenix!

- Come on, your master isn't afraid. - You call yourself our master?!

Too bad you don't have our Iittle thing...

- Dad said never to argue with girls. - We mustn't Iose face to Wu Tang.

- Come on, brothers! - Beat them, sister!

Look, Brother Sun Lung has arrived.

Let's help Sun Lung!

- What's that fighting style called? - "Shaolin makes fun of Wu Tang...

Sister... be careful!

- Hey, impressive! - Don't try to flatter me.

Hurry up and help!

We said it was "Shaolin makes fun of Wu Tang".

No, it's "Monkey falling out of a tree".

Playing happily

Freely dancing in the sky

lt looks like a dragon

But it's never been one

What is it?

It's a phoenix

A phoenix

lt's standing by the river, alone

And Grying

And Grying

Crying day and night

- Are they singing about you? - Don't Iisten!

So Iaughable A weakling

Why a weakling?

- I'm sure they're singing about you. .. - No singing!

Take this ginseng to Mrs. Pao tomorrow to pay our respects.

- She gives birth to a girl and we. . . - She still needs her strength.

We need ten cows for one of Pao Seng Fang's girls.

Ten years and we've only saved enough for three cows.

It's impossible!

If we work hard, we'II succeed eventually.

Look, in six months we've saved enough for a Ieg.

Even when we have ten cows...

how Iong will l wait before we get another ten?

- Don't worry, you'II marry Yee Feng! - How... how do l do that?

Stupid! That's not a cow.

- What's this? - lt has four Iegs.

What do you know?

- Let's see... - You've got a funny bottom!

- You've got no sympathy for me. - A cow has four Iegs!

- There, it's alright. - And a tail too!

Practise your kung fu!

"Student of the goddess of mercy."

"Buddhas on poles."

"Hovering on clouds."

"Flying over heaven."

"Beauty and the mirror."

Stop!

- What's that? - "Beauty and the mirror."

What kind of mirror is that?

You never Iearn!

"By the riverside, a poor Iittle phoenix cries"...

What's wrong with girls? A phoenix is what our family needs.

I need a dragon to carry on our line, but mother has failed again.

Always a phoenix. .. always girls!

- You can't blame mum for that! - And why not?

Dad, I'm as good as a dragon in Wu Tang sword style.

Listen, child. Eighteen years ago, when you were inside your mother...

- I gave you a boy's name, but. . . - But what, dad?

You're just another girl. Very soon you will fly from the nest.

No way, l'm a dragon. I won't fly from the nest.

Half dragon and half phoenix.. . Who'd want you?

- You... - You can fly wherever you want.

But never to the Lung family!

They want marriage so they can steal my Wu Tang style.

Shaolin kung fu is bullshit!

I say Wu Tang sword is unique!

Practise your sword skills. Shaolin kung fu is forbidden!

Carry on!

No food for the lazy!

- L'd rather not have anything to eat! - Carry on!

- He's a bastard! - Who are you swearing at?

- I saw you cursing too! - Don't deny it!

- I don't deny anything. - That's good!

A real man says what he thinks.

- What, here? - No...

One, two, three... Dad's a bastard!

Okay, one more time.

One, two, three... Dad's a bastard!

Dad's coming!

You must be very tired... SIeep now.

Dad!

- What's wr0ng now? - Dad, we're sorry.

- We were cursing you. - Cursing me?

What did you say about me?

We'll tell you, but only if you don't get mad.

Go ahead, nice and Ioud.

- Count us in. - One, tw0, three...

- Dad's a bastard! - Louder...

Dad's a bastard!

- Dad, you promised not to get mad. - That's right...

- But... I'm not your real father. - You are our real father!

No. But if your fathers had known kung fu...

...your families wouldn't have perished.

Ten years ago, bandits attacked our village.

My brother, Yee Lung, and I were heading home.

We immediately tried to help.

Madam!

- Brother, what now? - It's alright! Get in!

Kill them!

We must save the children!

Yee Lung, come on!

- Are you okay? - Kill them!

I wounded him in one eye and got away safely... Those bastards.

I've had to bring you up alone for ten years. lt hasn't been easy.

- Should we call you master or dad? - Dad, of course!

Dad, of course!

Father, please sit down.

Our father, please accept our humble respect.

You brought us up. You're our real father in our eyes.

You also taught us kung fu. You are a great. . . great...

- A great father. - PIease accept our gratitude.

Good boys, my very good sons.

And you're the naughty one!

I'm the naughty one, so punish me!

- Does it hurt? - No, I'm used to it.

Dad's too clumsy for delicate jobs.

What you really need is a mother.

When can l take revenge for my ruined eye?

With our strength, we can easily handle the Shaolin brats.

Phoenix village is a tasty piece of meat waiting to be licked clean.

Boss, Pao Seng Feng's daughters have slim waists and wide hips!

I'm not blind! But can we handle both Shaolin and Wu Tang?

- Boss. - Speak now.

Yes, tell us your plan, schemer.

They've been rivals for centuries, so we get them t0 kill each other.

- That way you get your revenge. - Right! Go on.

Then we overcome Pao and celebrate with his women!

L, Pao Seng Feng, have always helped the needy.

I'm not asking a lot, just a son of my own.

Though I have nine daughters, I give you this offering.

PIease bless the Pao family with a son.

I beseech you in the name of my ancestors.

Put your faith in Buddha.

Master, do l Iook Iike a man who is unable to have a son?

For you not to have a son, there must be something wrong with your feng shui.

What must l do?

- Pao claims Wu Tang style is best. - He's never proved it.

Shaolin teaches everything - sabre, spear, rod and staff.

- Uncle. . . - Chief!

- Why uncle and not father-in-law? - Which phoenix are you after?

Can he be an uncle, if he can't have a son?

- We have business to attend to. - Of course, this way.

A happy Iand for happy men . . . a fertile place.

Masculinity flourishes here.

- You should've had many sons. - PIease, go on.

- What a pity! - What's wrong?

- Who are those people? - Brother Sun Lung!

- Turtle! - Egg!

You're calling Sun Lung a turtle egg?

- No! He can eat this turtle. - My bird's egg, too!

I d0n't have much of an appetite, even f0r turtle meat.

- What do you want? - I want a phoenix.

The masculinity of the ten dragons on the other side of the river...

is a barrier, blocking the free flow of Ying and Yang.

That's why you find yourself unable to have any sons.

Master, I'm prepared to do anything to be blessed with a son.

The problem is the Shaolin.

If you really want a son, you must get rid of them.

If Tai Feng were our mother -

- dad would be happy and we'd Iearn Wu Tang style.

- Right! - No way!

Dad has three cows. Pao Seng Feng wants ten!

The tomboy is Pao's favourite. Maybe she'd put in a good word for us.

But we offended her the other day.

- It's all your fault! - Me? You were there too!

- I'll go and apologise. - Just Iike that?

- You'II cause another fight. - You must act Iike a gentleman.

Right... I'll dress up. Let's get dad's wedding ouffit.

- Why's it so Iarge? - He must've been happy, to be so fat!

Careful! Dad will kill you if you tear it.

There's room for a couple of people!

This is dad's most beautiful outfit.

It Iooks awful on you.

Do you really think you'II impress her, Iooking like that?

Don't worry. I'Il Iook really elegant.

- Miss, how are you? - I'm fine.

No, that's no good. She hates being called miss!

- How about Sister Ph0enix? - No!

- Brother Dragon? - She's not a dragon.

- How about Brother Phoenix? - That's it! Call her Brother Phoenix!

A pair ofparakeets...

Are happily flying in the sky

Even the fish are in pairs,

Swimming in the stream

Above the lovers,

The sun is shining

- Look! - It's uncle.

- If Pao sees this, we're finished . - l thought he scared you?

AIways that silly grin... Can you never find something to say?

For you. . . for your mother.

- Oh, no. It's the witch! - You can't say that anymore.

Sister. .. Have you forgotten what father said? Go home!

Don't come any closer!

Can't you scum read?!

NO SHAOLIN BEYOND THIS POINT

- You. . . You. . . - Can't speak either?

That ugly face of yours really scares me. . . Come on!

Uncle, dad wants you!

She's not worth it. Come home.

- Sun Lung, it's your turn. - Okay.

Brother Phoenix...

- Brother Phoenix, how are you? - What's the monkey up to now?

My parents died when l was very young.

I don't even know my father's name.

- AII I know is, you're crazy! - Wait, I just...

- What do you want? - Well, brother...

We live by the same river. We should've intermarried Iong ago.

We've offended you, so we want t0 apologise.

Stop! Go home!

My father says the Shaolin are nothing but trouble!

Brother Phoenix, don't get me wrong...

What. ...? Leave n0w or I'II take action!

Brother Phoenix...

Brother Phoenix... PIease don't get mad. I'II explain...

Stay back or l'II kill you.

PIease, let's talk...

Brother, don't tear your clothes.

Bad if you do.

Sun Lung, show her some Shaolin kung fu.

Gotcha!

Come on!

This is bullshit!

Excellent!

Sister!

Help! My sister can't swim!

She's not breathing. . . What will we do?

- Give her the kiss of Iife. - What?

- Give her some air. - How?

BIow into her mouth.

Sister, you mustn't die.

L'm out of breath. You take over.

- Hurry, blow! - Give me back my sister!

- Your sword. - Sister!!

- She's crying. - Women are made from water!

That Wu Tang sword is really something!

If she'd cut a little higher...

...you'd have lost your manhood.

So, she has human feelings?

- And a nice mouth. . . - And strong Iegs!

If we Iearn Wu Tang sword and combine it with Shaolin kung fu...

- We'd be invincible! - Uncle's back!

- We have to fix them. - We haven't time!

You were told not to fight with women!

If you Iove fighting, you can fight each other!

But we're brothers. We respect each other.

Fight!

If you don't hit harder, I'Il tell father what you've done!

Monkey boy, you asked for it!

Whoever Ioses will have to go and see dad!

Uncle, tell them to stop.

- Fight! - Fight who?

- Me! - You must be kidding.

Come on!

- Now I'm serious. - Uncle, don't...

- Grab that pole! - Very well!

Stop pretending. Get up! Sun Lung. . .?

- Sun Lung, are you alright? - Well, he's dead.

Uncle, you're inhuman!

What. . . what shall we do?

He's not breathing. Give him some air.

- How? - BIow into his mouth.

Kid, you're dead!

- We did it to help you and dad! - We did it for you!

We've got no chance now, have we?

Uncle, you mustn't give up now.

We'll get wives for you two and the sword sfyle for us all!

The fifth daughter Iikes kung fu. We'll give her lessons.

We'II impress Pao and then suggest fatherPs marriage.

Great!

The martial arts contest between Shaolin and Wu Tang will begin.

- The loser calls the winner "master". - Let's see who's the best!

- Who challenges me? - What stance is that?

- Water-snake. Use the eel . - No! You need the duck.

Come on!

You've Iost. Call me master!

Idiot! It was a poisonous snake, not a water snake.

They're arguing!!

Don't crow too soon. You're a snake but I'm a cat!

You're so skinny, just Iike a sick cat!

Scared! Then bow and call me master.

Why are you scared? Squeeze him to death!

Show them your moves.

She's about to wet herself!

- What now? - My stomach hurts...

Useless!

I win!

You play dirty!

I just play to win.

- Bow and call him master! - I haven't lost yet.

Stop!

- What's going on? - Mind your own business! Come on.

What's all this? Go and find out.

- What are they doing? - What a ridiculous way to pee.

- Have you finished yet? - Soon.

- Have you finished? - Nearly.

Hey, I'm here to apologise, not to fight.

The Wu Tang sfyle is unique.

If you hadn't spared me, I'd be a eunuch now.

Do you want to steal the Wu Tang style?

Don't say "steal". I want to Iearn it.

You defeated me on the bridge.

- This time I'II win. - You think so?

Maybe not! Our styles have their own virtues.

They also have weak points. lf we combine them, we can improve them.

Your mumbling actually makes sense.

- L'II show y0u my style first. - Okay, go ahead.

Watch this!

- What do you think? - It's nothing special. Go home!

- But... - l could've kicked you into the river.

Now get off our Iand!

- You... - If I see you again, l'II kill you!

Sun Lung, you've been tricked .

L've been tricked, but she's hooked. I can tell she's interested in kung fu.

- Maybe she Iikes you. - There's still hope for dad's marriage.

- Fantastic! - Who's there? Come out!

Why aren't you at home?

So we can't learn kung fu, but you can in secret?

- Come on! Let's go and tell dad. - Hold it!

Wait. . . So you Iike to play with that M0nkey Boy?

- No, I Iike Big Head! - I Iike Tong.

- I Iike Monkey Boy. - l like Shaolin staff style.

- Well, you can play with them. - Sister, you're so kind.

Are you going to tell father?

No! Let's go and have some fun with the boys!

Don't you understand? I need a s0n to inherit my Wu Tang style.

I've done my best! My womb never has a chance to rest.

Ten cows for a daughter. You don't even have a cow shed!

- Wife, I know you've tried hard. . . - Don't touch me!

You should think of your daughter.

What's wrong with Tin Lung as a son-in-Iaw?

But he's Shaolin and I'm Wu Tang! The Pao family needs a successor.

You've tried nine times. How about a Iast attempt?

You should be ashamed at your age!

Never mind! I call it a sign of health and happiness.

If I agree, will you agree to the marriage of Tai Feng?

Of course... But it has to be a dragon.

- Pao, feel... - ls it three months now?

Only three months and so big! May Buddha bless us...

Buddha, bless the Pao family with a dragon.

A dragon for them and a phoenix for us.

- We'II have a mum then! - Yeah, finally.

Buddha, bless us.

Congratulations, madam, it's a baby girl!

Mum's given birth again!

Mum's given birth again!

Is it boy or girl?

- I said, is it a boy or a girl? - It's the same as usual.

No, it's not the same! This time it's different.

What does she mean?

- Different in what way? - I'm not sure...

- Does it have a "Iittle bird", Iike us? - Yes, that's it!

- At Iast, a dragon! - Come on, let's tell dad the good news!

- It's a boy! - But I saw dad's unhappy face.

No, after you Ieft, I saw dad's face do this.

Finally, l've got a baby boy!

- Pao, give the baby girl a wash to0. - What? You'd better do it.

I will dress you up beautifully, to give thanks to the gods.

You see, I interrupted the spirit of the dragons, and you have a son.

Sister, Iook!

Mum, Iook who's here.

- They're really happy for us. - So it seems.

Don't trust them. They're after something.

- Great! - What's great?

- Are you okay? - I can't make it!

Hold on! We mustn't Iose again!

San Feng!

- Get up! - I can't!

- Sister, I really can't make it. - You're making me really mad!

Get away!

Behave yourself. Let's team up and give them a good show.

- He's molesting her. - Avert your eyes.

Mr. Pao, how dare they do this!

We must stop this immoral display at once!

Don't be afraid.

FENG'S A PIG...

...A PIG-TAILED FATHER

...OF A GLORIOUS B0Y

They're such nice boys.

- Congratulations. - This is for you.

Thank you, auntie. Dad sends his regards.

Thank you.. . Look how considerate they are.

Dizzy?

Sister, l'm okay now.

It's some silk fowl pills!

- It's Yee Lung's own recipe. - lt's so big! How do you swallow it?

Silly girl, a bigger dose has a bigger effect.

Tin Lung said that after childbirth, you must build up your strength.

He's really a good and kind man, unlike that father of yours.

Mum... Yee Lung said they have four cows now.

- Ask him to speak to father. - But dad...

- Dad wants ten cows! - When can they get married?

Your dad will agree, now he has a son. Tell Yee Lung to visit.

Uncle!

- What are you doing here? - So good to see you.

- We have the cows. - Skinny ones...

Never mind, come in. Tai Feng, Yee Feng, serve the tea.

You must talk with your future father-in-Iaw.

Uncle.

Uncle, it's about the marriage of your two daughters...

F0ur skinny cows for my daughters! The deal isn't fair at all.

What? You promised that if I gave you a dragon...

- I'm not selling them cheap. - You...

Mr. Pao!

- Mr. Mau, so good to see you. - I'm here on business. Ah Au!

- Father-in-Iaw! - Wait! You're not my son-in-law.

Oh, he soon will be. I have a gift of ten strong cows waiting outside.

Well. .. please be seated.

Mr. Mau, lt's true. Tai Feng and your son make a good couple.

Tai Feng is my future mother. H0w dare you!

I don't dare! Dad, it's not her I want!

Ah Au will be 20 this August and Tai Feng...

How about Yee Feng? Yee Feng isn't 20 yet.

- How dare you steal my girl! - I wouldn't dare!

- Father-in-Iaw, I want to marry her. - So it's me you want?

First you must ask my friend's permission.

- Mr. Pao, that. . . - Surely he would fight for her hand?

- If you Iose, you marry him. - I agree.

If I must fight a mere girl, I can at Ieast allow you to go first.

- A hungry dog eats shit. - I slipped.

- What should I do? - He can't even help himself.

Thanks for the tip.

Ah Au!

Again Wu Tang is superior to Shaolin. Ah Au uses the wrong style.

- L'm just not good enough. - Then go practise for a decade.

- By then, you'll be too old. - She's no good as a wife.

- Y0u want a nice, gentle girl. Come! - Give me the staff.

- What do you want? - I want her.

- Not you, I want her! - Yee Lung, don't!

You want her hand? Okay!

But we have rules. Ten cows for Tai Feng.

Good fighting skills for San Feng. And Yee Feng...

- Anything! - Can you sing?

- Sing. . .? - She's a s0ng bird.

Her husband must sing better than she can.

- You... You. .. - He can't even talk!

- You want to put us off? - What if I do?

I'll take her hand in marriage!

- Come on! - Sun Lung, that's enough!

- Let's go! - Tin Lung, Yee Lung!

- Master? - Those boys are with your girls.

I'm over here!

"By the riverside there Iived a goat, an elephant and a monkey."

It's a monkey!

Make sure it's tight - and no peeking!

"A blind man and his wife fell into the water..."

Fat Feng is right behind you.

You have to guess!

- It's Wu Feng. - Wrong! l'm here.

Got you! Little bastard...

I'II kill you if you cross the river again.

You get stomach ache if you have to practise Wu Tang...

but you Iet them touch you!

Bottoms in the air! Quickly now!

In all these years, l've never had to punish you properly.

It's shameful! You cheap Iittle punks never learn.

- Does it hurt much? - No.

Dad hasn't a Iot of strength.

- Don't worry, you won't feel a thing. - Higher!

Tell them, how's it feel?

Sore... burning... painful!

Do you deserve it?

- No! - So, excuses now!

Dad, they were trying to help! They want you to marry Tai Feng.

I know, but you can't force things like that.

Even without a mother, we've managed well for 1 0 years.

AII the Shaolin masters went without women.

We'II also give them up.

Praise be to Buddha!

No meat or wine for this Buddhist.

A bald head glows in the dark!

No need to wash or comb, so easy to care for!

Monkey head, monkey brains, just like a baby's bottom!

He's a bald-headed thief!

"A monk must renounce the world of desire."

Do you still have desires?

I won't shave my head! I won't become a monk.

- Yee Lung! - l will marry Yee Feng!

You're stupid as a pig!

Pao won't allow it, so why get angry?

- Give it up. - I refuse!

- I won't betray my woman, Iike you! - How. . . how dare you?!

- Don't talk to dad Iike that. - We'II beat you!

Don't call me uncle again!

Dad, uncle, he...

He always Ioses his temper and runs away, but only as far as the cave.

Uncle!

Monks have no relatives. So don't call me uncle!

He's so headstrong! No wonder Yee Iikes him.

Why be headstrong, when you don't know what to do?

- Meaning what? - Uncle, Iook!

- What is it? - You tell me.

It's a circle and a girl.

- What's she doing? - Dancing.

It's the moon and the fairy. Don't you get it, stupid?

You really are the dumbest person I've ever met!

- So I'm stupid. - Yee Ioves you being so dumb!

What next?

- Who is it? - It's me.

- Who are you? - Your new maid.

When l practise, no-one may enter. Go!

Yes, master.

- Who is it? - The maid.

You're...

Uncle wants to elope. Hurry up, before it's too Iate!

Sister, where are you going so late?

Sister, I beg you, please Iet me go.

No! You're going to elope. It's forbidden!

Pao has ruined one sister's life. Will you do the same?

Will you obey him and marry someone you don't love?!

Get going, both of you!

Thank you, sister.

The sinners are escaping. Don't let them get away!

Hurry up and go!

You used to have a mean look...

but tonight you Iook very Iovely.

- Don't flatter me. - There are two of them!

- Go now! - What?

We both Iove our families. We'II share the same fate.

You and me together? No way!

- Go now! You got me in trouble. - I'II repay you one day.

- You. . . Look what you've done! - We must punish her.

Brother Sun Lung!

- She isn't a woman made of water. - What is she made of?

- Spirit. - That's true... righteous spirit.

PAO FAMILY TEMPLE

PAO FAMILY TEMPLE On your knees!

On your knees!

You're the village Ieader and your daughter has broken village Iaw.

You must punish her according to custom.

I am a righteous man. I'll submit to village Iaw.

She Iet the couple escape by water.

The punishment is death by drowning.

San Feng, my daughter!

Give me back my daughter! Please don't kill my child.

It's the Iaw. If she's alive after the incense has burned down...

she'll be released. Proceed!

- Begin! - Sir, it's time!

Pao Sen Feng's not human! He has no feelings!

FREE SAN FENG

San Feng is innocent!

Pao is a ghost!

- Kid, do you really want to die?! - Let her go! l'm responsible.

Because of you, Yee Feng Ieft and San Feng is Iying here!

- Why did you come? - I said we'd share the same fate.

Your wish is about to come true.

Master, we're ready.

- I'II see you in the Sea Palace. - Sun Lung!

Wait!

Come help!

- Pao Seng Feng isn't human. - San Feng is innocent!

San Feng.. . Give back my child!

Save my child, do it!

- Dad's here... - Dad.

Chicken soup with ginseng is a tonic for women.

You don't mind that I saved San Feng?

Remember, you must not drink this - it's too strong for men.

Yes, dad.

Chicken soup with ginseng. Drink it while it's still hot.

You try some.

Dad says it's good for women, but too strong for men.

- Thank you for saving my life. - I said we'd share the same fate.

I believed my father when he said you were bad people.

- I was prejudiced against y0u . - But not now?

In fact, you don't Iook Iike such a bad guy at all.

- Anyway, l cheated over the kung fu. - I planned to teach you.

But I teased you and threw you in the river.

I slashed your trousers.

- Y0u want to Iearn Wu Tang sword? - Show me now.

So you planned this too...

San Feng is still alive! Sun Lung has hidden her in a cave.

San Feng... San Feng!

- You've seduced my daughter. - I just wanted to save her Iife!

- San Feng, come with me! - I can't Iet him harm you.

Nonsense, she's my daughter! This is none of your business.

- A monster doesn't deserve children. - Damn you!

- Who taught you that style? - It was me.

Y0u've given away the family treasure. You're shameless!

Here l come!

- Don't go, he'II kill you! - You're first on my list!

Dad, watch out!

Sun Lung, take care!

- I'll teach you. . . - Hold it!

Don't move!

- Dad. . . - Unhand me!

- Beg forgiveness now! - l don't think l could give it. Come!

No!

- Sun Lung! - San Feng will be killed!

Sun Lung, this is between me and my family. Dad, I'II go with you.

You taught us to be righteous. San Feng will die and you...

- Have you finished? - You Iet Pao walk over you!

Because you're weak. You're pathetic...

Tai Feng has waited ten years because you have no guts. Now, San Feng...

Come on... Let's go home.

I love Tai Feng, but l Iove you more.

- Dad can't sleep. - He has no company at night.

- So sad. - So sad.

- No one sleeps with me either. - Don't be an idiot.

Yeah... idiot.

In two days, it's his birthday. We'll have a surprise party for him!

What shall we do?

A man of his age needs nourishing food.

AIready his hair has fallen out.

- It's because of us. - It's true.

We'II have a real feast, with snake, wild cat and chicken!

- L'II catch the wild cats. - We'II get the wild chicken!

- And me? - Snakes, of course.

I hate snakes!

I can't wait any Ionger! When do we take action?

If I don't have a woman soon, l'II explode!

- We must be patient. - We can't stand it!

Boss, I know Pao very well now.

If we abduct Pao's baby.. . the Shaolin kids will all die!

Fish!

Snake!

- It bit me - I'm dying. - Stop crying.

- Come on. - I can't.

- Five more steps and I'm dead! - Come on!

- You moved ten paces. - I'm still alive!

It's just a water-snake, silly. Its fangs carry no poison.

You're so clever!

He Iooks so strange.

- Who is he? - He's an Indian snake-charmer.

Why's he going to the cave?

There must be snakes inside!

It's moving...

Pao's kid?

You're dead!

Sun Lung, come on, quickly!

Brother!

Yee Lung, come quickly!

I say to Iook after your brother and you go to the toilet!

- Do I need a timetable to pee? - Why you...

- I couldn't wait. - I should strangle you!

- What've we done to deserve this? - Leave me be!

No! Rewrite it. Not just ten cows.

Offer my land and daughters for my son's return.

Master, why does Buddha punish me Iike this?

Sir, it's your son's fate to be menaced by evil people.

- Who would dare such a thing? - Young master is home!

My baby boy!

Why have you got my son?

- The kidnapper was in the cave. - We saved the baby.

How fortunate. .. Tell me what you want as a reward!

To help the needy is the duty of Shaolin monks.

- So, you don't want anything? - Yes, we do!

- Here's our chance. - "A reward of cows, gold and girls. . ."

- Dad's been so Ionely. - And Uncle Yee...

As you insist... Keep the cows and gold, but we want Tai Feng and Yee Feng.

- And... - And? Just tell me what you want!

- The Wu Tang sword skills! - You're dreaming!

Just as I suspected. . . there is more dirty tricks.

You dare trick me?!

Sir, you Iet them stay on your land and they repay you with evil .

So, it's you, is it?

Get back!

If you don't kick them out, Buddha will be mad.

Tell your father to Ieave my Iand. I never want to see any of you again!

We'II Ieave and never return.

Happy journey.

Cross-eyes, don't think you're smart.

- Sister, they're Ieaving. - And Yee Feng's already gone.

Let's have fun with Pao's daughters!

Then we'll handle the Shaolin kids!

Back into the house!

Once we've killed the old man, all this is ours. Kill him!

Pao, help Sai Feng!

Dad!

Pao, be careful!

Get out now!

Pao, take care!

- Chain-mail armour.. . - A surprise for you!

- H0w do you know Wu Tang sword? - Don't you recognise me?

So it's you!

Wu Tang sword is mighty, but you're too old.

What are you doing back here?

Shaolin and Wu Tang work best together against scum!

Pretty! You'II be my concubine.

- You! - I hoped you'd changed...

But it seems you're still up to evil.

Take care of sister. This bastard's mine!

- He's got an iron neck! - Never mind that. Watch this!

We've got him!

"Moon in the sea".

Throw him in! One, two, three...

Sun Lung, we. . . We've won the battle!

Tin Lung, you saved my family. How can I ever repay you? l ...

- Uncle... Let my dad marry Tai Feng. - Don't forget uncle!

Oh, well, just give me those four cows...

Hurray! Dad has a wife and we have a mother!

Your adopted sons will make wonderful husbands one day!

Auntie, we don't have any more cows...

- How about an egg for each girl? - It's a deal!

Husband and wife, bow to each other.

SHAOLIN AND WU TANG ARE ONE FAMILY Husband and wife, bow to each other.

SHAOLIN AND WU TANG ARE ONE FAMILY

Bow to mother and father.

Father, mother, accept your sons' respect.

First bow.

Second bow.

- Third bow. - Good, good...

- Today's a happy day. Let them Iaugh. - Go ahead.