Original subtitles

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Yeah?

Hello, this is Per Hansen's secretary.

I'd like to speak to Sören Kristiansen, please.

- Speak... - Is this Sören?

I hope so...

- Mr. Hansen was wondering ...

... if you could come to the office at 11:00, instead of 11:30?

He had forgotten about a lunch meeting.

- What time is it? - 10:30

Is it Monday?

Monday? I guess so. It was Sunday yesterday.

- Oh, Dear God...

- Shall I tell Mr. Hansen you'll be here?

- Yeah... - Can you make it at 11:00?

- Yeah... - Fine, we'll expect you then.

Okay, I'll be there.

Oh, shit...

KEYHOLE

- Breakfast?

What?

I said, is that your breakfast?

Ah.

- Hello, Sören. - Good morning.

Come in, please.

Jens and I have been doing a lot of thinking about your proposal, and we've come to a decision.

- Hello, sorry I'm late. - Hello, Jens.

I've been telling Sören how much we've been thinking about his proposal.

This is what we've decided, Sören.

We'll go ahead with the film, which you'll write and direct.

But we don't want to make an ordinary porno film.

We have something more unusual in mind.

- Unusual? - Yes ...

We'd like to produce the first believable porno film.

A realistic film, depicting real life.

The way real people live and love.

It should be something the audience can identify with, as well as enjoy.

"Believable" is the key word, Sören. Real life...

- What do you think? - Yeah, why not?

I think it's a good idea. Real life in a porno film.

- Why not? - Fine!

I'd better get back to my office. I have a lot to do.

Oh, excuse me.

Yeah, er...

I think the best way to work together ...

... is for you to write a rough script, and submit it for our approval.

Naturally, we'll also have final approval on the shooting script.

But we're easy to get along with, so that should be no problem.

Okay then, goodbye. And thanks again.

- Oh, excuse me! - Excuse me...

Hi, dad. Hi, Lone. Who was that?

Just a young filmmaker who's doing some work for us.

- He's cute! - Cute? Hi, Mette.

Yes... cute! Hi, Jens...

So what brings you by today?

I was going shopping. I thought you might take me out to lunch first.

Why not? You're the sweetest daughter I've got.

And I'm the only daughter you've got!

Let me get my cigarettes. I'll be with you in a minute!

What about you, Jens? Are you coming?

Yes, just a minute.

Lone...

If my mother calls you,

just tell her

I'm having lunch with Daddy. - Okay.

- If my wife calls you... -Yes, I know. You're having lunch.

Ready?

- Ready. - Let's go, then.

Wake up, darling. Wake up, Per.

It's late, I'm going to bed.

- Where's Mette? - She's sleeping already.

Come on.

Are you coming?

I'm just checking on Mette.

Be quiet! I'm coming.

Hurry up! I'm freezing.

Okay, okay. I'll warm you up! Be quiet now!

Sören?

Sören?

Sören!

- You jerk! - Come on, let's go!

Come on, Sören!

Why are you so impatient tonight? Can't you wait a little bit?

- Cheers - Skol

Get over here now, Sören.

I didn't come over just to drink some cheap wine.

Are you sure about that?

Look out! I'm spilling my wine.

No way.

Here you are.

Come here, lover boy!

Ah ha... what have we here, young man?

The great mystery unfolds before our very eyes.

Goodnight, Sören! I think I'll get a little sleep now.

Are you sure about that?

I never get tired of that!

- What happened today? - When?

Today... in my father's office?

Oh... that?

God! What a shock! I thought you'd be gone.

- I don't think it showed. - What?

- That we knew each other. - Of course not. Am I an actress, or not?

- I was just casually aware you'd been there. - And I was just a filmmaker for rent.

- We made a deal. - What kind of a deal?

Just what we figured it would be. He wants me to make a porn film.

Great! When do we start?

We?

Of course we! Why not?

I can be very inspiring.

So I've noticed.

You want some more?

Have you ever known me not to want more?

- Wine, you idiot. - Yeah. What else?

Actually, it's a pretty good idea.

- Oh, thanks - They want me to make a film that's believable.

Real life, that's what your father said.

Real life?

- What are you going to do? - Don't know yet.

But I'll find something. I'm sure of that.

I have it! Let's write about us!

- Us? - Yeah, sort of perverted "Love Story"...

... with you as an over-sexed Ryan O'Neil, and me as your lover, ...

... who dies because of too much sex!

Brilliant! Actually, I had something else in mind.

I think a story about two ordinary people would be better.

The problem is, a movie about ordinary people ...

... would probably be a little boring in the sex department.

What do you mean by "ordinary people"?

You know, just people. Everyday people. People with jobs, homes, kids and so on...

You parents, for example. I never met your mother, ...

... but I think your father could be called ordinary.

Maybe more successful than most, and smarter. But ordinary.

- Ordinary? You chose a poor example. - What do you mean by that?

Well, I take that back. I guess they're ordinary enough.

But you're mistaken in thinking their sex lives must be boring!

Oh come on, Mette... what are you talking about?

I just don't think their sex lives are boring. That's all.

How do know about that? Have you been watching mommy and daddy doing it?

No, Sören... not exactly.

But, I'll tell you one thing...

- No, maybe I shouldn't. - Mette!

Okay... I'll bet you anything that my fine, respectable mother has a lover.

- What makes you think that? - I don't have any proof.

It's just little things, like the way she wants to know exactly when I'll be home from school, ...

... and other things she says and does. It's just a feeling... that's all!

Really? Doesn't you father suspect anything?

I don't know. But knowing him, he's not far behind in that department.

Why do you think he surrounds himself with all those pretty secretaries?

No, I don't agree with you about those so-called "ordinary people."

I think they're just like us!

Everybody likes to get laid!

Yeah... that may be.

That may be!

I have a great idea! We can make a film about them!

My father and mother. Real, ordinary people... with lots of money!

Mette... you have to be kidding!

No, I'm serious! Why not?

Well, in the first place, isn't it just a little too close to home?

And besides, we don't know enough about them.

It may be close to home, but they won't know about it!

They have no idea that I know you.

And as far as us not having enough information about them, we can find that out.

- Find out? - Yes!

We'd become spies. We'd find out all about them!

- Oh no, Mette. Give it up. - But why?

It would be so interresting. Following them, looking how they do it.

And watching my father's reaction when he realises you're telling his own story.

He wants something realistic? Well, that's what he'll get.

Let's play detectives. Let's write about them.

As much as I hate to admit it, it's a pretty good idea!

- And funny, too! - Shall we do it?

Okay, you're on. But we'll only try it for one week.

- If nothing turns up, that's it. - I'm sure it will!

- Now, let's get down to business! - What could you possibly have in mind, sir?

Something quick! Per could walk in here at any minute.

- So? - If you think I don't know ...

... what's going on between the two of you, you're mistaken!

I know... I just don't care. That's all...

Come on Lone, let's get to it!

That's good...

That's good...

Use the sofa...

- Oh, my God... - Is anybody here?

... oh, not now!

Is anybody here?

- Hello, Mette! - Hi, Lone, where's my father?

He just went out for lunch.

You mean...He left you all alone? Just the two of you?

Excuse me a moment...

Lone, would you please take care of this letter? It's very important.

Jens, could you possibly help a lonely little girl?

- With a little money? - What?

I want to go shopping. Could loan me some money until my father gets back?

Sure, that's no problem, Mette.

- How much do you need? - 500 should be enough, if that's okay.

- Sure... - Thanks, Jens, you're like a big brother.

- Goodbye! - Goodbye...

Stay out of trouble.

- What do think happened in there? - What do you think... it's a massage parlor.

I know that... but what kind is it? I've read that there are all kinds out there.

American massage, French massage, Swedish massage... all kinds of massage!

- Which one is it? - How should I know?

Don't we know enough already? How are we going to find out more?

That's easy enough! I can find out what's going on in there.

I'll get a job there, as a masseuse.

That's a dumb idea... are you crazy?

But Sören, it's the only way to solve the mystery.

I need to get a job in there.

Alright then, you do that. But in the mean time, do me a favor, and shut up!

Let's get out of here, and go to the studio.

You might have a future as a model when your career as a masseuse is over.

Okay, but I mean it. I'm going to get a job as a masseuse.

Hello, what can I do for you?

- I'd like to speak to the manager. - That's me.

- What would you like? - A job.

That was delicious, as always. What's your secret ?

- No secret at all ! - Who'd like a Cognac now?

- Wonderful. - I'd like one, too.

- Once you've cleared the table, youg lady. - Okay.

So, I have to clear the table... and to serve the Cognac.

- Cognac is served. - What a lovely maid.

I wonder... where I could find such a lovely maid.

Really? What could a confirmed bachelor do with such an unexperienced maid?

- I guess you don't expect me to answer. - I'd like to have an anwer.

- But I'm not giving you one. - Come on, Jens. I'd like to know.

-Tell her. I'm sure she'll run away. - Per!

- I know. First of all, he'd let her sit on his lap.

Am I right ?

- Mette, please behave yourself! - Yes, please behave yourself.

- Don't you like me, sir? - Mette!

Okay. I'll take my Cognac and leave.

I'll call my secret lover.

You'll never know what you miss.

Goodnight everybody.

She can be really ennoying.

She's just pulling our leg.

Yeah! That's good...

Now get a little closer...

Yeah... like that!

One more time! Okay...

Yeah, turn your shoulder...

That's sweet!

Now hold it...

Beautiful, beautiful... I love it!

Come in, the door's open!

Hi, Peter! Sit down and relax. We're in the middle of a session.

- Have a beer, if you want. - Yeah, thanks...

Okay, girls, a new pose...

Yeah, that's good...

Again...

Now look here... Thanks!

Fucking telephone!

Yes! That's it... hold it!

Okay, okay... I'm coming! Take a break, girls.

Yes? This is Sören...

Hi, Mette!

Did you have any luck today?

Following my mother, of course!

Really?

What do you mean, "see for yourself"? Tell me about it!

Oh, no... you'll have to see for yourself!

I said no! You wouldn't believe me anyway...

Yeah?

Did you really?

When do you start?

I start tomorrow.

Giving intimate massage.

I'm starting to wonder about you, Mette.

Is it raining? Stop that!

- What was that? - Nothing...

Honest, Mette... it was nothing!

It's just a couple of models I'm supposed to be doing a job with.

A photography job! You do know I'm a photographer?

Well, you asked!

I'm going to hang up now, Sören. I certainly wouldn't want to interrupt your work.

Don't be stupid! Why should I?

Okay, Sören... see you tomorrow! Good night, sweetheart.

Sören... respectable? Ha!

We have a room for you now.

You'll get to meet our new girl, Pia.

Yes, Pia's a really sweet girl, but she'll only be watching today.

You go to room 1. We'll be there in a minute.

Pia? Pia?

Okay, I've arranged for you see how we give a massage.

How should we do this? Won't it be awkward for you to give a massage while I'm watching?

No, not for me.

I just told my customer that we have a new girl who enjoys watching.

- Come on, you have to be kidding! - No, he got all excited about it.

He thinks he's getting something special.

You just stand off to the side and you'll see how it's done. Okay?

This is Pia, the new girl I told you about.

- Hello... - Hi!

- Well, where should we start today? - Let's just do my... front.

Okay, that's what we'll do.

It'll be a while before I'm finished, but it's coming along fine.

You are keeping our particular interests in mind?

Regarding the realism.

Oh, that's no problem. One thing I can promise, it's realistic. Guaranteed realistic!

I'm glad to hear that, Sören. We're looking forward to reading it as soon as possible.

- That's right... as soon as possible. - It'll be ready in a week or two.

I really think you'll like it!

Well, I have to go now. I have an important appointment. Stay in touch, Sören.

Yeah, I'll do that.

- It just seems weird to me. - There's nothing weird about it.

Just some men looking for a bit of pleasure in the middle of their day.

Don't they have wives and families at home?

Some do, and some don't. Anyway, that isn't the point.

There aren't any problems. No promises are made, and there are no commitments to keep.

It's just in and out. It's easy.

There's another one. I'll be back in a moment.

Hey, wait a minute! Maybe you can try giving your first massage?

Sure! Why not?

Okay, I'll go get him.

- Hello, Per. - Hi

- How are you? - Fine, thanks.

- Are you alone, today? - Yes, and you?

Actually, no. I have a new girl.

- Would you like to be her first client? - That sounds exciting.

You'll like her. She's very young. Really cute.

I'm looking forward... but I'll go to the sauna first.

Pia?

Pia?

Why are you hiding here?

This is one of my father's friends. I don't want him to see me.

Oh, I understand. And I've promised him the new girl!

Okay, go. I'll take care of him.

Your father has a really nice friend. The guy comes over two or three times a week.

- Sometimes he comes with a girlfriend - Are you kidding ? Why would he?

- Promise me not to tell anybody. - Of course. Who could I tell? My father?

No, of course not.

First, she gives me a hand for the massage.

Then, he pays me to watch them fuck.

- He pays you to watch him? - Yes.

- That's incredible. - You better go, now. Come back in an hour.

- Bye! - See you later.

The scene with your father is ready. But it's not very credible.

I can't help that. That's what happened.

And Jens with Lone. Also incredible.

And now, what about my mother?

I promise you a big surprise.

Oh, please, tell me. Don't let me wait.

Oh no, it's much more exciting like that.

You know, I'm feeling a little bit tired of all this.

I don't get it. It was your idea.

No, I'm speaking about us.

Us? What dou you mean? We're fine together.

Yes, but sometimes it feels like an old habit.

When do we tell them about us? That we are together?

Really? You're serious about that?

Well... We'll tell them as soon as I'm finished whith the script.

Okay. As soon as we're finished. Is it a deal ?

Deal!

I love the way it excites you, watching me undress.

Somehow, it always makes it so... obscene!

Look at these new panties I bought to wear just for you!

And these black stockings, because you like them so much.

Something about you brings out the whore in me!

Do you like that?

You want to see me touch myself again, don't you?

Does it excite you to see me do this?

Or touching myself here?

Or here?

Or like this?

That's enough of that for today.

Sometimes, when you're here with me, ...

... I think about my husband walking in.

How it would feel... to be caught.

I mean,... it's so pornographic.

A woman like me, and a man like you!

A gardener... just like the cheapest porno.

I love it!

And the way I can talk to you.

Say anything... do anything.

Be anything!

Come fuck me.

Fuck me until I can't stand it anymore!

Come, Per, fuck me!

Fuck me!

Sören, you rotten bastard! Why didn't you tell me?

It isn't long enough. I'm going to need another scene.

What?

It doesn't matter how I write this, it isn't going to be long enough!

- But why? - It's just isn't long enough... that's all.

It doesn't hang together the way it should.

- Something else has to happen. - Like what, for example?

If I knew that, I wouldn't have a problem, would I?

Can you make the scene with my mother a little longer?

Impossible...

- You're sure? - Yes...

Quite sure.

It's going to be a long time, my dear, before I forgive you for that little joke you played on me!

That wasn't a joke. I just thought you might like a surprise.

Surprise? You can keep your surprises!

That's it! A surprise! What the script needs is a surprise.

A surprise that would wrap it all up in a neat little package.

Alright, if you want a surprise, that's what you'll get!

- You have an idea for another scene? - Yes, I just figured out a surprise scene.

- Well, what is it? - Wouldn't you like to know!

Come on, Mette, don't fool around.

But Sören, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?

I understand, it's a little risky for you to work here with your father's friend coming in so often.

Yeah... but it was fun while it lasted!

You'd better get going, Pia. He's always on time for his appointment.

Well thanks for the job, even if it only lasted two days.

- Goodbye! - Goodbye!

Hey, Pia... why don't drop by some time for a sauna?

- Maybe! Goodbye... - Bye...

I'll only be a minute. I just have to get the key.

Hello! To what do I owe this unexpected visit?

What can I do for you, Mette?

Your father isn't here.

I know that.

Do you want to borrow some more money?

No...

Well, for Christ's sake, what do you want?

I want some of what Lone's getting.

Lone? What the hell are you talking about?

I know what you two get up to. I've seen you!

And I want some, too!

Are you insane?

- I'm your father's... - I'm not insane... just horny!

Mette!

Your father? I can't...

Mette...

Come on, Jens... do it to me!

But I told you, Mette, I can't!

I say you can, and what's more, you will!

If you don't, I'll tell everyone that you did!

But... that's blackmail!

By the way, Jens, what I really came in for is the key to the summer house.

Mom said I could go out there for a while and do some writing.

For school...

Yes, Jens? The key... where is it?

We can't let your father find out about this... ever!

About the key?

Oh, don't be silly, Jens. Where's the key?

Top drawer... You'll find it in the top drawer.

I found it! Thanks, Jens... for everything!

Now relax... no one will find out. Ciao!

You did what?

Sure! You said you needed a surprise... sweetie!

You're unbelievable!

Sören...

Sören!

Sören!!

Sören...

- It's finished... - Fantastic!

- Can I read it? - Yes, but not until we're back home.

You get things organized, and I'll call your father for an appointment.

Okay...

What are you going to do whille I'm at the office?

Should I drive you home?

- No! I'd rather wait for the end of your meeting. - But where?

- Well... - Make up your mind.

Okay. Just drop me downtown. Anywhere.

I'll meet you at your place. At nine.

Okay. Let's go.

This oil is fantastic, isn't it?

The perfect thing to follow a sauna.

So completely relaxing.

I really enjoy giving a massage when I don't have to.

It's different doing it for a friend, rather than a customer.

Does it feel good?

Just relax and enjoy it.

It's too bad you had to quit.

I thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to.

You know what I mean. Sometimes you get tired of taking care of men all day.

You have a beautiful skin.

Beautiful...

Let me...

Damn it... I can't imagine what you had in mind!

I thought we'd agreed on something that would be believable.

Realistic!

- What the hell were you thinking? - I agree, this is nothing like we talked about.

What can I say? It's certainly porn!

But not the kind we're interested in doing. I thought I made that clear.

You have a vivid imagination, but goddammit, no one lives like this!

If you don't like it, then you don't like it.

It's not that I don't like it. It's great! It's just that it isn't realistic!

Okay, I'll try again. That's all. No problem... I'll try again.

It's not possible that they didn't recognize themselves!

I don't know. If they did, they sure didn't show it!

They're great actors, for Christ's sake! I ought to use them in my films.