Original subtitles

playing all across the land

are here for you, you, you

Andy and the Band

Morning.

Morning. Morning.

Morning. Did you guys see that outside?

Yeah, who are all those people?

Did I miss a scheduled meeting of some sort?

I got asked for an autograph.

Good morning, Odd Socks.

Morning. Andy, what's going on?

Oh, didn't you get Mum's memo?

Oh! There you are, my little crumpets.

I hope you haven't forgotten that today's our big open day, have you?

Of course not, Mum. No, not forgotten at all. Definitely not.

Good, because I've invited a journalist

from the local newspaper

to come and write about our amazing Rock Star School.

It'll be wonderful.

Excuse me, my dears.

Andy! Yes, Blu? What's an open day?

Open day? You know. It's when we show off the school

and let the kids and parents look around.

Thank you, Lewis.

Yes, and if they like it, hopefully they'll want to join.

Yeah.

And that's today?

Er, actually, in ten minutes.

Ten minutes? Ten minutes? Oh!

Don't panic.

I've got a plan.

I'll help Mum with the tour.

You guys can run the lessons and show how brilliant our school is.

I've even got...walkie-talkies.

We love walkie-talkies!

Blu, Rio, no-one does music like The Odd Socks.

Give them a music lesson to remember.

Mac, Moxy!

Handy inventions and science. You never fail to impress.

Roger that!

Guys, this day is super important.

We need more students to sign up to help save the school.

So, as long as we stick to the plan, we'll have a day to remember.

Stick to the plan.

Stick to the plan.

How's that, Mrs Flowerpot?

Knock, knock!

Oh, Andy dear.

I'm so excited.

I've prepared the perfect speech for the perfect day.

So long as nobody brings in any animals,

experiments on the children or plays super loud music.

I'll tell all that to The Odd Socks.

Just the perfect day.

Oh, it'll be perfect all right!

Perfectly terrible!

HE LAUGHS LOUDLY

Aaagh!

Ohh!

Now...for my next disguise.

No animals, experimenting on children,

playing extra loud music... Aagh!

No!

We need a "do not" list.

Eh? Er...

Ah!

"Bring animals into school." What?

"Experiment on children.

"Play extra loud music.

"Do not..."

Oh! Pen's run out!

Oh!

"Not." There we go. Eh?

Now nothing can go wrong.

Oh, oh! Who put that there?

Whiff, give this to The Odd Socks.

OK? Make sure they follow the instructions.

It's all part of the plan. Well, can't you give it to them?

No, the parents and kids will arrive any second.

Oh! Plus, I need to change my soggy sock.

Oh, and you'll need this. What for? There we go.

Quick! Run! What? Oh...

Well, I'm not wasting these Cheesy Puffs!

Right, here's the instructions from Andy.

All part of his plan, apparently.

"Do bring animals into school?

"Do experiment on the children?

"Do play extra loud music"?

Whiff, this can't be right.

Well, them's the instructions Andy gave me.

Right, I've done my bit. I'm off for a sit-down and relax.

Oh, there you are, Whiffy.

I need you to be on car park duty immediately.

Chop-chop! Oh...

I mean, what...?

These instructions are weird, even for Andy.

I don't see the problem. We love playing extra loud music.

Andy did say, "Stick to the plan."

Even if the plan doesn't make any sense.

We'd best get busy, then, guys.

Too late.

Oh, er, er, sorry, folks.

No, the open day is cancelled.

There is a, er...gorilla on the loose in the local area.

I know, yeah, shame. Sorry about that.

All right...

Now it's time to have some fun

and make sure no new kids sign up to this terrible school.

HORNS BLARE All right, OK.

All right, calm down. Just calm down.

I'll sort this out.

Oh, why me?

WHIFF GRUNTS AND GROANS

HORNS CONTINUE BLARING

Sorry I'm late. Mix-up at the office, but I'm here now.

The newspaper sent me. I'm the photographer.

I usually take my own photos.

Oh, well, today's your lucky day.

ANDY'S MUM CLEARS THROAT

Hello, my little pumpkin seeds.

Don't you all look wonderful?

Welcome to Andy And The Band's Rock Star School.

Where is everyone?

I was expecting a lot more people.

Now, this is no ordinary school. Oh, no.

As our teachers are a famously talented rock band.

Ooh!

I give you Mr Andy, Mr Mac,

Miss Moxy, Mr Blu and Mr Rio.

APPLAUSE

Aren't they such a lovely bunch of sweeties?

MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES

JINGLE PLAYS

Oh! Terribly sorry.

Excuse me one teeny moment.

Hello? Hello.

I was just wondering when we should expect you

for the grand meeting of supreme headteachers

that started ten minutes ago.

I'll be there in a jiffy.

Oh-oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, oh! Mum!

Hmm? You can't leave.

Oh, but I must, Andy. Duty calls.

You'll be fine running the open day, my little cherub.

The school will be perfectly safe in your hands.

Er... Good luck!

Right, why don't we start with a song?

everybody gather round

to the funky sound

Splendiferous School

see why it's cool

unique, that's us

coming alive

and find your feet

to a non-stop beat

there's no mistaking

in the making

that's the name of the game

and we'll do the same

and it's one for all

just having a ball

get ready to shine

we'll have the best time

and find your feet

to a non-stop beat

and find your feet

APPLAUSE

Right, let's get this show on the road.

CHEERING

Yeah!

Ohh!

Whiff! Oh!

Go and check Rio and Blu's music lesson is ready.

First impressions are everything.

Oh, God.

WALKIE-TALKIE CRACKLES Yeah, coming,

Totally Awesome Guitar Solo and Too Cool For School.

Er, Curly Beanpole is incoming!

Who's this? Over.

This is Rock Star Roadie.

Who? Over.

Whiff.

Oh, right, roger that. Can you come and give us a hand, Whiff?

Over and out.

WHIFF SIGHS

At this school,

we want our children's musical talents to flourish,

so who better to teach music than The Odd Socks?

Let's begin by taking a look at one of our music lessons,

a place for focused creativity in a harmonious environment.

BLEATING Whiff, clean up all the poo.

Hey, how are you?

BLEATING

Andy's not going to be happy about this.

ANDY CLEARS THROAT Oh, too late.

Hello, everyone. Let me introduce you to our class pets.

Bunny, Goaty

and Tony the Pony.

Today, they're going to help us practise our vocal ranges.

Yeah, who doesn't love animal noises?

Right, kids? One, two, three, hit it!

Baa! Baa!

Baa! Baa! Baa!

Baa! Baa! Baa!

Baa! Baa!

Guys, I said, "Do not bring animals into the school."

Huh!

NEIGHING, SQUAWKING

This school is really unique.

Yeah, we try all sorts of creative things.

Oh...

WOMAN SCREAMS

BLEATING

Why don't we head over to science class next?

Yeah? NEIGHING

Aagh! Oh!

Aaagh! Yuck!

Sorry. I missed a bit.

Come on, everyone. On with the tour.

Whiff! Huh? Go and get Mac and Moxy ready.

We can't have another disastrous lesson.

Oh...

Disaster?

Is it really safe to let children play with animals at school?

Er, yes, because here at Rock Star School,

we have everything under...control.

We encourage all types of teaching methods.

To be a performer, you must be prepared for anything.

Follow me.

Glitter. Oh!

Chalk.

Thank you, Whiff.

Totally Awesome Guitar Solo

to Teeny McBeany and Noisy Crash Bang.

Curly Beanpole is on his way. Over.

Affirmative, Totally Awesome Guitar Solo. Over.

Er, what exactly are we making?

An advanced fairy dust formula.

Just a little experiment to make the children sparkle even more.

Let's see what happens if we switch fairy dust...

..for hairy dust.

Oh, one last ingredient.

Whiff, the fairy dust. Oh!

Alongside our performing arts classes,

we also teach core subjects such as science,

led by our ingenious head of handy inventions.

Get ready to be impressed.

GROWLING

I told you not to experiment on the children!

GROWLING

Welcome to our science lab

where no experiment is a bad experiment.

LOUD GROWLING

Today, we are experimenting with the body

as percussion.

Join in, everyone.

Right.

GROWLING

Very good.

Er, what an experience, huh?

One, I'm sure, you'll never forget

and we will never do again.

Oh, I smell lunch.

Who's hungry? Me!

GROWLING

Who likes peas?

There's some really lovely food in the canteen.

Oh, right.

Don't sit down! What?

You're on lunch duty, Whiff!

Whiff, they're on their way. Don't forget to smile.

CAMERA CLICKS

Lunch is cancelled.

Just tell the others we're on our way.

But I've cooked all the... Andy!

Music performance next.

Oh...

BAND MEMBERS MUTTERING

Andy's on his way.

Please, just get it right, so I can sit down.

Hold up. Are we sure Andy wants us to play extra loud music?

He hasn't been happy with anything else we've done so far.

It's almost as if we're doing the opposite of what he wants us to do.

That's it.

What if the "do" list was actually a "do not" list?

Well, don't look at me. I'm exhausted.

I haven't sat down all day.

All in agreement? No loud music?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, all right.

The Odd Socks have been a disaster today.

I can't take any chances.

Good. Speakers off.

OK, everyone, this way. That's it.

Come on through. Thank you, yes. In we come.

EXTREMELY LOUD HEAVY ROCK MUSIC

LAUGHTER

This has been the worst open day in the history of all open days.

None of the lessons made sense.

I lost an eyebrow, and health and safety went out the window.

WOMAN SOBS I am so sorry.

Our school isn't normally like this.

It's always like this.

SHE SOBS LOUDLY

"I think it's fair to say that in my professional opinion,

"this is the worst school ever

"and should not be attended by anyone."

It's all my fault.

I was so focused on what I didn't want you to do

that you weren't able to show off all the great things you can do.

And not one single kid wanted to join.

ANDY SIGHS

Can I join? Huh?

This school is awesome.

The animal singing, the cave kids

and especially the super loud music.

Well, then, I guess this is the school for you.

We just need to find more kids who love it too.

WHIFF SNORES

Gorilla on the loose. I can't believe they fell for that!

HE LAUGHS

Aaagh! Aaagh!

Aaagh! Aagh!

Huh?

for you, you, you