All language subtitles for All in the Family - S03E04 - Gloria and the Riddle

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,737 --> 00:00:07,516 ♪ Boy, the way Glenn Miller played ♪ 2 00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:11,152 ♪ Songs that made The Hit Parade ♪ 3 00:00:11,176 --> 00:00:14,756 ♪ Guys like us We had it made ♪ 4 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:18,126 ♪ Those were the days ♪ 5 00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:21,196 ♪ And you knew where You were then ♪ 6 00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:25,501 ♪ Girls were girls And men were men ♪ 7 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:32,040 ♪ Mister, we could use a man Like Herbert Hoover again ♪ 8 00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:35,043 ♪ Didn't need No welfare state ♪ 9 00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:38,446 ♪ Everybody pulled His weight ♪ 10 00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:42,918 ♪ Gee, our old LaSalle Ran great ♪ 11 00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:47,912 ♪ Those were the days ♪♪ 12 00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:58,767 Hi, Ma. I just love rainy days, don't you? 13 00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:01,737 Yeah. It was raining on our honeymoon. 14 00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:03,739 Oh, that's romantic... 15 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:06,408 You and Daddy in your cozy hotel room 16 00:01:06,432 --> 00:01:08,343 in Atlantic City in the rain. 17 00:01:08,367 --> 00:01:10,679 Oh, it wasn't so romantic. 18 00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:12,180 Archie was so mad. 19 00:01:12,204 --> 00:01:13,181 He kept saying, 20 00:01:13,205 --> 00:01:15,483 "Here we are, stuck in this hotel room 21 00:01:15,507 --> 00:01:17,385 for the whole honeymoon." 22 00:01:17,409 --> 00:01:20,622 Oh, Ma... no. 23 00:01:20,646 --> 00:01:23,425 Hey, did I tell you that riddle Tammy told me 24 00:01:23,449 --> 00:01:25,493 about the surgeon who couldn't operate? 25 00:01:25,517 --> 00:01:26,517 No. You didn't. 26 00:01:27,519 --> 00:01:29,431 Oh, excuse me, Gloria. 27 00:01:29,455 --> 00:01:30,832 The sweet rolls are ready, 28 00:01:30,856 --> 00:01:33,523 and Archie hates it when the sugar drips. 29 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,571 Gloria... 30 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,039 Good morning, Michael, dear. 31 00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:38,406 Never mind the "good morning." 32 00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:40,676 Look at this. See that? 33 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,477 I'm sick and tired of putting on this shirt 34 00:01:42,501 --> 00:01:44,079 every time you wash it, Gloria, 35 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,547 and finding there's no button there. 36 00:01:45,571 --> 00:01:47,683 Look at that. All right, Michael. 37 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,918 Gloria, didn't I tell you to fix it? Didn't I? 38 00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:51,519 All right, Michael. I'm busy now. 39 00:01:51,543 --> 00:01:52,955 I'll do it later. 40 00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:55,057 Gloria, this has been going on for three weeks! 41 00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:56,081 Sew it on now! 42 00:01:57,382 --> 00:01:58,460 Sew it on yourself! 43 00:01:58,484 --> 00:01:59,883 What? 44 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,065 Where's it written down 45 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,366 that a woman has to do all the sewing? 46 00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:07,268 Gloria, you're my wife! 47 00:02:07,292 --> 00:02:08,870 What's that got to do with it? 48 00:02:08,894 --> 00:02:10,305 You sew it on! 49 00:02:10,329 --> 00:02:11,306 Well, I can't. 50 00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:12,330 Why not? 51 00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:15,499 You got the sewing kit! 52 00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,546 Well, I'll go get it for you right now. 53 00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:19,982 No. No. No. Wait a second. 54 00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:22,684 Gloria, I mean, uh, you do it better than me. 55 00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:24,119 You always do it. 56 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:27,122 That's because I want to, not because you order me to. 57 00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:28,146 Okay, forget it! 58 00:02:29,481 --> 00:02:32,327 Ma, could you sew a button on for me? 59 00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,328 Sure, Mike. 60 00:02:33,352 --> 00:02:34,630 No, you don't, Ma. 61 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,464 He's gonna do it himself. 62 00:02:36,488 --> 00:02:39,968 Oh, I didn't know you liked sewing, Mike. 63 00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:41,637 I don't! I hate it! 64 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,404 Forget it! I'll do it! 65 00:02:43,428 --> 00:02:44,539 I'll do it! 66 00:02:44,563 --> 00:02:45,540 Whatever you're gonna do, Meathead, 67 00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:46,842 do it in quiet, huh. 68 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:49,244 Okay! 69 00:02:49,268 --> 00:02:50,879 What's the matter with him? 70 00:02:50,903 --> 00:02:52,614 Can't a person get a cheerful "good morning" 71 00:02:52,638 --> 00:02:54,049 around here no more? 72 00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,773 Good morning! 73 00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:04,126 Not from you, Edith. 74 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:07,129 We already seen each other upstairs. 75 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:10,353 Yeah, but that was lying down. 76 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,703 Remember, Archie? 77 00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:17,139 We both woke up together, 78 00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:18,874 and we looked at each other, 79 00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:21,043 and I said, "Good morning, Archie," 80 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,666 and you rolled over. 81 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,052 Edith, where's my regular prune juice? 82 00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:31,853 This ain't Sunsweet. 83 00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:33,421 Oh, I'm sorry, Archie. 84 00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:35,557 Ferguson's market was sold out, 85 00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:37,693 but Sybil Gooley at the checkout stand 86 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,796 said this kind tasted just the same. 87 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,097 Well, tell Sybil Gooley 88 00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,755 I don't drink prune juice for the taste. 89 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,807 I know. 90 00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:52,974 And look at this here. 91 00:03:52,998 --> 00:03:55,543 The eggs ain't runny enough, Edith. 92 00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:58,479 How am I going to dip my toast into a hard yolk? 93 00:03:58,503 --> 00:04:00,749 Complaints, complaints... 94 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:02,884 First Michael, now you, Daddy. 95 00:04:02,908 --> 00:04:05,253 You men treat us like unpaid servants. 96 00:04:05,277 --> 00:04:07,122 That's what we are to you... servants. 97 00:04:07,146 --> 00:04:08,757 "Cook this, clean that, sew this." 98 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:10,861 Come on. Will you let me eat? 99 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:15,052 Mike, what did you do to your finger? 100 00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:18,133 Nothing, Ma. 101 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:19,400 Did you cut yourself, Michael? 102 00:04:19,424 --> 00:04:22,170 Yeah. I'm just acting silly over that stupid button. 103 00:04:22,194 --> 00:04:23,538 I'm sorry. 104 00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:26,163 No. You were right. I was wrong. 105 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:28,977 Oh, Edith, 106 00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:30,645 do they have to be slobbering that way 107 00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:31,949 on a Sunday morning here? 108 00:04:33,372 --> 00:04:34,649 How did you do it, Michael? 109 00:04:34,673 --> 00:04:37,585 I stuck my finger trying to sew the button on. 110 00:04:37,609 --> 00:04:39,988 Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 111 00:04:40,012 --> 00:04:42,090 You, the husband, were sewing something? 112 00:04:42,114 --> 00:04:43,491 Yeah. What's wrong with that? 113 00:04:43,515 --> 00:04:46,549 Well, if you don't know, I ain't gonna tell you. 114 00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:51,199 Well, tell me, because I don't know either. 115 00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:52,500 He's the husband. 116 00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:53,902 He ain't supposed to be doing that. 117 00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,036 That's the wife's job. 118 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,773 That is nothing but a male chauvinist attitude! 119 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,908 Will you tell me something? 120 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:03,311 What is this "male chauvinist" you keep throwing up at me? 121 00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:05,713 It's not a "what," it's a who. 122 00:05:05,737 --> 00:05:07,082 You see, there was this Frenchman, 123 00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:08,784 and his name was Chauvin, 124 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,752 and he was the original chauvinist. 125 00:05:10,776 --> 00:05:14,011 And he was a beautiful piano player too. 126 00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:19,627 What? 127 00:05:19,651 --> 00:05:21,129 Yeah, Chauvin. 128 00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:25,600 Cornel Wilde took his part in the picture... 129 00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:28,536 and he wrote some lovely songs: 130 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,539 ♪ I'm always Chasing rain... ♪ 131 00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:34,276 All right! All right. Put a lid on it, huh. 132 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,178 Ma, that's Chopin. 133 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,813 Chauvin was an officer with Napoleon. 134 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,715 Well, what has a dead frog soldier 135 00:05:40,739 --> 00:05:41,850 got to do with me? 136 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,351 Everything. 137 00:05:43,375 --> 00:05:45,887 You see, Chauvin was a stupid nationalist 138 00:05:45,911 --> 00:05:48,056 who believed that everything French was best, 139 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,291 and that women were no good. 140 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,458 Well, who cares? 141 00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:51,592 All I'm saying is 142 00:05:51,616 --> 00:05:53,494 no self-respecting American husband 143 00:05:53,518 --> 00:05:55,596 would do his own sewing. 144 00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:58,599 Oh, what about Dr. Nelson, the surgeon? 145 00:05:58,623 --> 00:06:01,536 He does a lot of sewing. 146 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,306 On people, Edith... He sews on people. 147 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,774 Well, he must have practiced on something 148 00:06:06,798 --> 00:06:08,165 before he started on people. 149 00:06:11,303 --> 00:06:12,914 That reminds me, Gloria... 150 00:06:12,938 --> 00:06:15,383 You were gonna tell me something about a surgeon 151 00:06:15,407 --> 00:06:16,651 and you never finished. 152 00:06:16,675 --> 00:06:17,853 Well, yeah. That was the riddle 153 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,120 that Tammy Robinson told me. 154 00:06:19,144 --> 00:06:20,655 I bet you'll never guess it. 155 00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:21,857 Who's Tammy Robinson? 156 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,091 Oh, she's the girl 157 00:06:23,115 --> 00:06:24,692 that's running the female fair exhibition 158 00:06:24,716 --> 00:06:25,961 down at the store. 159 00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,162 She's coming over here this morning 160 00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:28,496 so we can work on it. 161 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,265 Oh, what's she coming over here for? 162 00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:33,468 Can't we have a Sunday in this house with no visitors? 163 00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:35,003 What a day this is gonna be. 164 00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:36,804 And look at that rain out there, Edith! 165 00:06:36,828 --> 00:06:38,773 I'm sorry, Archie. 166 00:06:38,797 --> 00:06:42,677 Daddy, you've got her saying she's sorry 167 00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:44,579 like it's her fault it's raining. 168 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:46,336 Well, it ain't my fault. 169 00:06:47,472 --> 00:06:50,485 Well, tell us about the riddle. 170 00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:54,356 Okay. Now, you see, there's this father and his son, 171 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,391 and they're driving along in a car, 172 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:59,527 and the car crashes, and the father is killed. 173 00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:01,296 Oh, that's so sad. 174 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,299 Oh, jeez, it's only a story, Edith. 175 00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:06,401 Anyway, the father is killed, 176 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,270 and the little boy is badly injured, 177 00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:09,737 so they rush him to a hospital, 178 00:07:09,761 --> 00:07:11,539 take him into the operating room. 179 00:07:11,563 --> 00:07:15,176 The surgeon walks in and says, "I can't operate on this boy. 180 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,711 He's my son." 181 00:07:16,735 --> 00:07:18,546 How come? 182 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:19,781 Well, that's easy. 183 00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:21,149 The surgeon was his father. 184 00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:23,418 Well, he ain't supposed to operate on his own family. 185 00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:25,220 Daddy, I just said the father was killed. 186 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:28,123 Oh, then it was the stepfather was killed 187 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:29,424 and the surgeon's the real father. 188 00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,592 No. 189 00:07:31,616 --> 00:07:33,128 I know! 190 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:36,197 The surgeon was a Christian Scientist. 191 00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:37,421 They never operate. 192 00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:47,708 How could the surgeon be a Christian Scientist, Edith? 193 00:07:47,732 --> 00:07:50,400 Them dumbbells don't even allow sickness. 194 00:07:52,871 --> 00:07:54,916 If the father was dead, what's the difference 195 00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:56,684 what kind of a religious nut he was? 196 00:07:56,708 --> 00:08:00,255 Hey... the father was a priest, right? 197 00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:01,556 Like a Catholic father. 198 00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:04,125 No, it was a real father and his real son. 199 00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:05,994 Hmm... Let me get this straight: 200 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:08,296 A father and a son were in a car crash. 201 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,397 The father is killed, 202 00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:11,032 and the son is rushed to the hospital. 203 00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:12,533 They bring him to surgery. 204 00:08:12,557 --> 00:08:14,836 Surgeon walks in, says, "I can't operate on that boy. 205 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:15,837 He's my son." 206 00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:17,305 That's right. 207 00:08:17,329 --> 00:08:20,141 All right. Is it a case of mistaken identity? 208 00:08:20,165 --> 00:08:21,142 That's wrong. 209 00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:22,777 Of course it's wrong. 210 00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:24,545 Well, how can you be so sure? 211 00:08:24,569 --> 00:08:25,813 You don't know the answer. 212 00:08:25,837 --> 00:08:27,849 Well, I know that it ain't the answer. 213 00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:30,452 Well, maybe the answer has something to do 214 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:33,855 with people that come back from the hereafter, 215 00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:36,046 like that milk company. 216 00:08:37,582 --> 00:08:38,559 Oh, reincarnation? 217 00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:39,863 Yeah! 218 00:08:46,791 --> 00:08:49,437 No. No, that's not the answer, Ma. 219 00:08:49,461 --> 00:08:50,671 You give up, Michael? 220 00:08:50,695 --> 00:08:52,874 Yeah. Yeah. Michael gives up. 221 00:08:52,898 --> 00:08:53,875 What's the answer? 222 00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:55,110 No. No. I don't give up. 223 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,711 I bet I get it before you do. 224 00:08:56,735 --> 00:08:57,745 What are you talking about? 225 00:08:57,769 --> 00:08:58,746 A quarter you don't. 226 00:08:58,770 --> 00:08:59,747 Yeah. You're on. 227 00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:00,982 You want to make a bet? 228 00:09:01,006 --> 00:09:02,150 Okay. Sure. 229 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,019 Gloria, don't be telling him the answer. 230 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,353 No cheating here. 231 00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:06,587 Go on, Edith. 232 00:09:06,611 --> 00:09:08,589 Get my coffee and bring it over here, will you? 233 00:09:08,613 --> 00:09:12,760 Tammy is so smart to think up a hard riddle like that. 234 00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:14,562 She didn't think it up. 235 00:09:14,586 --> 00:09:15,830 How do you know she didn't? 236 00:09:15,854 --> 00:09:18,233 Because riddles ain't thought up. 237 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:22,137 They come out of newspapers and magazines. 238 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,139 Well, Tammy could have thought it up. 239 00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:26,074 She's a very clever girl. 240 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:28,410 You know, the whole female fair was all her idea. 241 00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:30,778 "Female fair"? What's that? 242 00:09:30,802 --> 00:09:33,181 Oh, it's Tammy's idea for an exhibition 243 00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:35,016 on the women's liberation movement. 244 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,652 Ah, good night, nurse. Another one of them. 245 00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:39,454 You letting your wife get mixed up in that? 246 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:40,488 Why not? 247 00:09:40,512 --> 00:09:42,590 Why not... Because I got a feeling 248 00:09:42,614 --> 00:09:47,217 that female fairs is run by female fairies. 249 00:09:48,787 --> 00:09:50,698 That's a horrible thing to say 250 00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:52,133 about my friend Tammy. 251 00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:56,671 I know a female fairy, and she ain't horrible. 252 00:09:56,695 --> 00:09:58,873 What female fairy do you know? 253 00:09:58,897 --> 00:10:01,198 Tinkerbell in Peter Pan. 254 00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:07,515 Yeah... I remember when I was a freshman in high school, 255 00:10:07,539 --> 00:10:10,585 the senior class put on Peter Pan. 256 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:13,988 Oh, it was so beautiful, I cried. 257 00:10:14,012 --> 00:10:15,957 I'll never forget how Peter Pan 258 00:10:15,981 --> 00:10:18,326 talked to the audience. 259 00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,995 Peter was played by Spunky Finch, 260 00:10:21,019 --> 00:10:24,265 and she had new braces on her teeth, 261 00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:28,536 and as soon as the spotlight hit all that silver wire, 262 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,440 oh, it just gave you goosebumps. 263 00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:38,346 Well, anyway, Peter said, "Do you believe in fairies? 264 00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:40,515 "Say it quick if you believe. 265 00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,939 If you believe, clap your hands!" 266 00:10:46,478 --> 00:10:49,257 And then everybody clapped their hands, 267 00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:53,483 and Peter said, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" 268 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:58,299 "And now to rescue Wendy!" 269 00:10:58,323 --> 00:11:01,324 Oh, oh, oh! I just love theater. 270 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:05,173 Is the curtain down? 271 00:11:05,197 --> 00:11:06,941 Yeah. 272 00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,243 Good, because I got the answer 273 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:09,777 to that there riddle over there. 274 00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:12,335 The kid on the operating table was his own double. 275 00:11:15,874 --> 00:11:16,851 What? 276 00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:17,952 Double. Double. 277 00:11:17,976 --> 00:11:19,154 You know what a double is. 278 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,156 They got them in all their stories there, 279 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:25,527 like in that picture, The Prince and the Porpoise. 280 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:27,795 No, Daddy. That's not the answer. 281 00:11:27,819 --> 00:11:28,929 Wrong. 282 00:11:28,953 --> 00:11:30,965 Well, any jerk can sit there saying, "Wrong." 283 00:11:30,989 --> 00:11:32,567 I don't hear you coming up with nothing! 284 00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:34,769 Hey, we got a bet that I come up with it 285 00:11:34,793 --> 00:11:35,803 before you, that's all. 286 00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:37,672 Aw. I'd better clear the table. 287 00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:38,773 Oh, I'll help you, Ma. 288 00:11:38,797 --> 00:11:39,774 I'll help you too. 289 00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:41,309 Wait a minute! 290 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,744 I don't want all of yous going in the kitchen together there. 291 00:11:43,768 --> 00:11:45,547 She'll be giving him the answer behind my back. 292 00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:47,348 Gloria, don't you say nothing to him in there! 293 00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:48,349 I won't say anything, Daddy. 294 00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:49,350 You keep an eye 295 00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:50,552 on them two out there, Edith! 296 00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:54,422 I don't want no answers being given to nobody 297 00:11:54,446 --> 00:11:56,224 before they get them the right way. 298 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:59,894 See, I don't want no cheating here! 299 00:11:59,918 --> 00:12:01,196 Are you Tammy? Yes. 300 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:05,266 Quick, what's the answer to the surgeon's riddle? 301 00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:07,357 Daddy! Shh. 302 00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,474 Admit it, you cheated. What do you know about it? 303 00:12:13,498 --> 00:12:14,875 You was out there in the kitchen. 304 00:12:14,899 --> 00:12:16,510 Gloria told me you asked her the answer. 305 00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:18,079 I'll put an end to this thing. 306 00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:19,981 Hey, Tammy, there, did you tell me anything? 307 00:12:20,005 --> 00:12:21,215 No, I didn't. 308 00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:22,216 There. But you asked her. 309 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,617 Case closed. Come on. 310 00:12:23,641 --> 00:12:25,186 Case closed. 311 00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,820 Uh, Gloria, I think we should tell them. 312 00:12:26,844 --> 00:12:28,022 Nobody ever gets it anyway. 313 00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:29,423 No, I'm not going to tell them. 314 00:12:29,447 --> 00:12:31,025 They're always saying men are smarter than women, 315 00:12:31,049 --> 00:12:32,926 so let them figure it out for themselves. 316 00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:34,962 Tammy, I made you some coffee. 317 00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:36,430 Oh, thank you. 318 00:12:36,454 --> 00:12:38,565 You know, it's really not a riddle at all. 319 00:12:38,589 --> 00:12:40,301 There's a very simple answer. 320 00:12:40,325 --> 00:12:43,504 Well, maybe that's the trouble. Maybe it's too simple. 321 00:12:43,528 --> 00:12:46,773 I mean, you're looking at an old riddle guy here. 322 00:12:46,797 --> 00:12:48,942 But I'm used to handling real toughies, you know? 323 00:12:48,966 --> 00:12:50,411 Like what? 324 00:12:50,435 --> 00:12:54,870 Toughies, like, for instance, knock-knock, who's there? 325 00:12:58,309 --> 00:12:59,786 A bandleader's initials. 326 00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:01,722 Oh, I know that game. 327 00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:04,591 You think up the name of a famous bandleader, 328 00:13:04,615 --> 00:13:06,793 but you just give the initials, 329 00:13:06,817 --> 00:13:08,795 and then the others have to guess who it is. 330 00:13:08,819 --> 00:13:09,796 Yeah. 331 00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:11,932 But you have to have lived a lot 332 00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:14,135 to play a game like that. 333 00:13:14,159 --> 00:13:15,202 Oh, you said it. 334 00:13:15,226 --> 00:13:16,470 Because all them big band guys, 335 00:13:16,494 --> 00:13:18,939 they was before your time, all yous kids. 336 00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:21,642 That sounds like fun. May I try? 337 00:13:21,666 --> 00:13:22,943 You want to try it, Tammy? 338 00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:24,311 Yeah. Yeah, all right. 339 00:13:24,335 --> 00:13:25,913 Wait a minute, and I'll give you one. 340 00:13:25,937 --> 00:13:27,714 Let me think of a good one for you. 341 00:13:27,738 --> 00:13:29,716 Uh... P.W. 342 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:30,717 Paul Whiteman. 343 00:13:30,741 --> 00:13:32,019 Hey! Look at Tammy! 344 00:13:32,043 --> 00:13:33,220 She got it right away here. 345 00:13:33,244 --> 00:13:35,056 That's very good. 346 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,146 I would've said Patty Waghorn. 347 00:13:40,051 --> 00:13:42,563 Who the hell is Patty Waghorn? 348 00:13:42,587 --> 00:13:47,468 He led the harmonica hijinks at our high-school hops. 349 00:13:47,492 --> 00:13:49,770 Oh, cut it out, will you? 350 00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:51,505 Oh, he was so good. 351 00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:54,708 He could play "Over the Waves" on his harmonica 352 00:13:54,732 --> 00:13:57,644 without using his mouth, just his nostrils. 353 00:13:57,668 --> 00:13:59,435 Oh... 354 00:14:00,705 --> 00:14:03,917 I got a bandleader's initials: T.D. 355 00:14:03,941 --> 00:14:05,152 Tommy Dorsey. Tommy Dorsey. 356 00:14:05,176 --> 00:14:06,153 Right. 357 00:14:06,177 --> 00:14:07,354 Hey, Tammy, you're good at this. 358 00:14:07,378 --> 00:14:08,355 You're terrific. 359 00:14:08,379 --> 00:14:10,458 What about me? I got it too. 360 00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:12,126 You're terrific too, Daddy. 361 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:14,761 Hey, hey. Thought of a good one. 362 00:14:14,785 --> 00:14:17,431 You two go over there. Sit down. 363 00:14:17,455 --> 00:14:22,536 Now... I got one for all of yous: E.C. 364 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:23,704 "E.C." 365 00:14:24,729 --> 00:14:25,839 Eddie Condon. 366 00:14:25,863 --> 00:14:27,108 Well, Eddie Condon's E.C. 367 00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:28,709 but ain't the E.C. I'm thinking about. 368 00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:29,710 Eddie Cochran? 369 00:14:29,734 --> 00:14:31,912 I never heard of him. 370 00:14:31,936 --> 00:14:33,013 So? 371 00:14:33,037 --> 00:14:34,415 Well, if I never heard of him 372 00:14:34,439 --> 00:14:36,617 he ain't the right E.C. 373 00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:38,219 All right. We give up. Who is it? 374 00:14:38,243 --> 00:14:39,220 Yous all give up? 375 00:14:39,244 --> 00:14:40,244 Yeah. 376 00:14:41,246 --> 00:14:42,411 Xavier Cugat. 377 00:14:44,015 --> 00:14:45,493 What? 378 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,627 What? 379 00:14:46,651 --> 00:14:48,462 Xavier Cugat! That's wonderful! 380 00:14:48,486 --> 00:14:49,696 That's pretty good, huh, Tammy? 381 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,065 Archie, that's not E.C. That's X.C. 382 00:14:52,089 --> 00:14:53,289 Xavier begins with an X. 383 00:14:55,059 --> 00:14:56,837 Get outta here. 384 00:14:56,861 --> 00:14:59,573 Sure! 385 00:14:59,597 --> 00:15:04,178 No human being begins his name with an "X". 386 00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:07,047 I heard it a million times... Xavier Cugat. 387 00:15:07,071 --> 00:15:10,284 E-G-Z-avier Cugat. Look it up. 388 00:15:10,308 --> 00:15:13,220 Come on, Tammy. We'd better get to work. 389 00:15:13,244 --> 00:15:14,221 Okay. Oh, Mr. Bunker, 390 00:15:14,245 --> 00:15:15,623 may I have one of your cigars? 391 00:15:15,647 --> 00:15:18,091 You're gonna smoke a cigar? 392 00:15:18,115 --> 00:15:19,693 Oh, no, no. I'm not gonna smoke it. 393 00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:21,728 I'd like to borrow it for the display board. 394 00:15:21,752 --> 00:15:23,497 Oh. All right. Go ahead. There. 395 00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:24,931 Oh, thank you. 396 00:15:24,955 --> 00:15:27,134 It helps to point up some of the more negative aspects 397 00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:28,669 of the male stereotype. 398 00:15:28,693 --> 00:15:31,104 I'm for that. 399 00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:34,408 I love the smell of a good cigar. 400 00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:37,578 Nobody is listening to you, Edith. 401 00:15:37,602 --> 00:15:39,880 You know, Tammy, what I got against 402 00:15:39,904 --> 00:15:43,484 yous women libertines there, 403 00:15:43,508 --> 00:15:44,951 if you forgive my saying it, 404 00:15:44,975 --> 00:15:46,353 is that yous don't want to do 405 00:15:46,377 --> 00:15:48,822 the jobs you was meant to do, which is housewives. 406 00:15:48,846 --> 00:15:51,292 And mothballs. 407 00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:53,126 What? 408 00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:56,863 I love the smell of mothballs. 409 00:15:56,887 --> 00:16:00,767 I used to hide in closets when I was a little girl 410 00:16:00,791 --> 00:16:02,491 just to get a whiff of them. 411 00:16:04,829 --> 00:16:06,407 Why don't you go up to the closet 412 00:16:06,431 --> 00:16:08,712 in the attic and enjoy yourself? 413 00:16:10,768 --> 00:16:12,179 If you don't want to do that, 414 00:16:12,203 --> 00:16:14,248 then do your job... Finish sewing. 415 00:16:14,272 --> 00:16:15,382 Oh, Mr. Bunker, 416 00:16:15,406 --> 00:16:17,251 why does our society take it for granted 417 00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:19,420 that women can do no other job? 418 00:16:19,444 --> 00:16:20,887 Women can do anything. 419 00:16:20,911 --> 00:16:22,889 Anything left over. 420 00:16:22,913 --> 00:16:25,492 No, no, no, wait a second, Arch. 421 00:16:25,516 --> 00:16:26,893 Women make some of the finest leaders 422 00:16:26,917 --> 00:16:27,894 in the world. 423 00:16:27,918 --> 00:16:28,895 Oh, that's the dumbest thing 424 00:16:28,919 --> 00:16:29,963 you ever said. Like who? 425 00:16:29,987 --> 00:16:30,997 Well, like Golda Meir. 426 00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:32,799 Bad example, Meathead. 427 00:16:32,823 --> 00:16:34,201 Of course, them Hebes has been ruled 428 00:16:34,225 --> 00:16:36,592 by Jewish mothers since time began. 429 00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:42,109 Well, what about, uh... Mrs. Gandhi? 430 00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:45,701 I didn't know Mrs. Gandhi was Jewish. 431 00:16:48,773 --> 00:16:50,451 Archie, what about Mrs. Gandhi? 432 00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:52,119 I mean, she's the prime minister of India. 433 00:16:52,143 --> 00:16:53,954 Who cares about India? 434 00:16:53,978 --> 00:16:55,456 Any country that would worship a cow 435 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,292 would put anybody in charge. 436 00:16:58,316 --> 00:16:59,526 You see? 437 00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:01,629 He's the result of centuries of conditioning. 438 00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:03,797 You gotta listen to what Tammy found in the Bible. 439 00:17:03,821 --> 00:17:05,666 The Bible! Listen to this: 440 00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:08,902 "For man is the image and glory of God, 441 00:17:08,926 --> 00:17:10,971 but the woman is the glory of man." 442 00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:13,574 St. Paul, First Corinthians, 11, verse seven. 443 00:17:13,598 --> 00:17:14,675 That's terrible. 444 00:17:14,699 --> 00:17:16,577 That's beautiful. It's the Bible. 445 00:17:16,601 --> 00:17:17,878 Wait a minute. 446 00:17:17,902 --> 00:17:19,079 You've gotta hear this one too. 447 00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:20,681 You wanna hear what the orthodox Jew says 448 00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:22,316 every morning in his prayers? 449 00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:23,872 I can live without it. 450 00:17:27,812 --> 00:17:30,524 "Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, 451 00:17:30,548 --> 00:17:32,993 that I was not born a woman." 452 00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:34,961 Well, like I always say, 453 00:17:34,985 --> 00:17:36,952 there's some good in all religions. 454 00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:40,066 What about this from the Koran: 455 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:42,369 "Men are superior to women 456 00:17:42,393 --> 00:17:44,971 because God has given them pre-eminence." 457 00:17:44,995 --> 00:17:46,307 That's really awful. 458 00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:47,808 When I hear things like that, 459 00:17:47,832 --> 00:17:50,232 I thank God I'm an atheist. 460 00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:00,287 Listen, Tammy, there, 461 00:18:00,311 --> 00:18:02,923 I hope, on top of everything else, 462 00:18:02,947 --> 00:18:04,491 you ain't one of them unbelievers, 463 00:18:04,515 --> 00:18:05,892 like that Meathead over here. 464 00:18:05,916 --> 00:18:07,994 Oh, no, I go to church, Mr. Bunker, 465 00:18:08,018 --> 00:18:10,197 but I don't have to agree with everything in The Bible. 466 00:18:10,221 --> 00:18:12,232 I don't think that men have the right 467 00:18:12,256 --> 00:18:13,934 to control women's lives. 468 00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:15,703 Yeah, like abortion laws. 469 00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:17,604 Abortion! On Sunday! 470 00:18:17,628 --> 00:18:19,573 Hey, Arch, she's right. 471 00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:21,375 I mean, why should a man have the right 472 00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:23,577 to tell a woman what she can do with her body? 473 00:18:23,601 --> 00:18:25,601 Get off the woman's body on a Sunday! 474 00:18:27,271 --> 00:18:29,583 Talking about things like that in this house... 475 00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:31,352 Abortions and all of that. 476 00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:33,153 Even the president of the U.S. of A. 477 00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:34,955 Took time out to say that that was wrong. 478 00:18:34,979 --> 00:18:37,680 Nixon would soon change his mind if he got pregnant. 479 00:18:40,217 --> 00:18:41,595 I ain't gonna stay here and listen 480 00:18:41,619 --> 00:18:43,397 to no more of this here garbage. 481 00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:45,198 I'm gonna go and wash the taste of it 482 00:18:45,222 --> 00:18:46,199 right out of my mouth. 483 00:18:46,223 --> 00:18:47,267 Where are you going, Archie? 484 00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:49,370 Down to Kelsey's Bar, Edith, 485 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:52,561 where people still have a little respect for the Sabbath. 486 00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:58,144 And then this guy puts a gun to his head, 487 00:18:58,168 --> 00:18:59,312 and says to his wife, 488 00:18:59,336 --> 00:19:01,047 "Don't laugh, baby, you're next." 489 00:19:02,139 --> 00:19:03,950 Hey, that's the funniest one... 490 00:19:03,974 --> 00:19:05,352 Hey, Tommy, give me a beer, huh? 491 00:19:05,376 --> 00:19:06,920 Hey, Arch. Archie. 492 00:19:06,944 --> 00:19:08,154 Hey, how are you? 493 00:19:08,178 --> 00:19:09,757 Hey, do you know any Polish jokes? 494 00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:10,891 Are you kidding? 495 00:19:10,915 --> 00:19:12,915 I got one living in the house with me. 496 00:19:17,154 --> 00:19:18,131 Tell you what, though... 497 00:19:18,155 --> 00:19:19,132 What? 498 00:19:19,156 --> 00:19:21,134 I got a great riddle for you. 499 00:19:21,158 --> 00:19:22,436 Anybody here good at riddles? 500 00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:24,638 A riddle? Ol' Barney here is an expert on them things. 501 00:19:24,662 --> 00:19:26,239 Well, to be honest with you, Arch, 502 00:19:26,263 --> 00:19:28,275 the riddle ain't been born that I can't figure out. 503 00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:29,476 That's right. 504 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,011 Well, that's good, because here it is, 505 00:19:31,035 --> 00:19:32,513 and it's a toughie. 506 00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,449 Now, father and son go out for a drive in the car. 507 00:19:35,473 --> 00:19:36,550 All right, there's a crash. 508 00:19:36,574 --> 00:19:37,551 Yeah. 509 00:19:37,575 --> 00:19:39,219 The father's killed. 510 00:19:39,243 --> 00:19:40,821 Now, they rush the kid to the hospital 511 00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:42,923 for emergency operation. 512 00:19:42,947 --> 00:19:44,391 The surgeon comes in, 513 00:19:44,415 --> 00:19:45,992 takes one look at the kid and says, 514 00:19:46,016 --> 00:19:52,633 "Hold it, hold it. I cannot operate on my own son." 515 00:19:52,657 --> 00:19:54,568 Now explain that. 516 00:19:54,592 --> 00:19:57,738 Boy, that kid was lucky. 517 00:19:57,762 --> 00:20:00,082 Did I ever tell you about the nut that operated on me? 518 00:20:02,266 --> 00:20:03,243 He left three sponges 519 00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,712 inside of me... three. 520 00:20:05,736 --> 00:20:06,914 Even without the gallstones, 521 00:20:06,938 --> 00:20:08,582 I was heavier leaving the hospital 522 00:20:08,606 --> 00:20:10,038 than when I went in. 523 00:20:11,909 --> 00:20:14,287 Get back to the riddle, huh? 524 00:20:14,311 --> 00:20:16,356 Why couldn't the surgeon operate on the kid? 525 00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:18,224 A pushover. 526 00:20:18,248 --> 00:20:20,461 Because the son was a son-in-law. 527 00:20:21,486 --> 00:20:23,063 Aw, that ain't it. No. 528 00:20:23,087 --> 00:20:25,131 No? 529 00:20:25,155 --> 00:20:26,667 No. 530 00:20:26,691 --> 00:20:29,336 Well, uh. Oh, then it was his adopted son. 531 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,971 Yeah. No. 532 00:20:30,995 --> 00:20:33,574 Ahh. 533 00:20:33,598 --> 00:20:35,976 Ah-hah! I got it. I got it. 534 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,911 Like in them weirdo movies, 535 00:20:37,935 --> 00:20:41,748 the dead guy transports himself out of his own corpse. 536 00:20:41,772 --> 00:20:43,650 Hey, Barney, you're slipping. 537 00:20:43,674 --> 00:20:45,185 Wait, wait, wait. 538 00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:47,855 Ah! I got it! This time, I got it. 539 00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,222 The kid was illegitimate. 540 00:20:49,246 --> 00:20:50,290 No, no, no. 541 00:20:50,314 --> 00:20:51,492 Is there a trick to it? 542 00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:53,660 There ain't no trick to this. 543 00:20:53,684 --> 00:20:55,562 Well, then, I give up. 544 00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:56,563 I don't know. 545 00:20:56,587 --> 00:20:59,232 Well, what do you mean, Barney? 546 00:20:59,256 --> 00:21:00,901 You can't figure it out? 547 00:21:00,925 --> 00:21:03,236 Well, there's gotta be a first time, Arch. 548 00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:05,271 This is a tough one. What's the answer? 549 00:21:05,295 --> 00:21:07,830 Well, jeez, Barney, I thought you was going to tell me. 550 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,320 You mean you don't know the answer? 551 00:21:12,403 --> 00:21:13,614 Yeah, I know the answer. 552 00:21:13,638 --> 00:21:15,315 Well, then what's the answer? 553 00:21:15,339 --> 00:21:16,316 The answer... 554 00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:17,518 Well, give us the answer then. 555 00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:19,720 You knocked the answer right out of my head. 556 00:21:19,744 --> 00:21:21,622 Hey, how do you like a bum like that? 557 00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:25,526 I'll tell you one thing. 558 00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:26,927 What? 559 00:21:26,951 --> 00:21:29,129 Maybe I forgot the answer here, but when I re-remember it... 560 00:21:29,153 --> 00:21:30,130 And I will... 561 00:21:30,154 --> 00:21:31,532 I ain't gonna tell none of yous. 562 00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:32,556 Hey, hey! 563 00:21:33,591 --> 00:21:35,836 Give us the answer to that one. 564 00:21:35,860 --> 00:21:37,838 You know what we should do, Gloria? 565 00:21:37,862 --> 00:21:39,439 We should hit some of those TV commercials 566 00:21:39,463 --> 00:21:40,440 as well. 567 00:21:40,464 --> 00:21:41,441 Good idea. 568 00:21:41,465 --> 00:21:42,843 You know that one where that jerk 569 00:21:42,867 --> 00:21:45,311 is always criticizing his wife's coffee? 570 00:21:45,335 --> 00:21:46,914 Just once, I'd like to see her pour 571 00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:48,114 the whole pot over his head. 572 00:21:48,138 --> 00:21:49,258 Right. 573 00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:52,218 Oh, hey, Tammy. 574 00:21:52,242 --> 00:21:53,787 I'm glad you're still here. 575 00:21:53,811 --> 00:21:55,789 I want to talk to you before you get away. 576 00:21:55,813 --> 00:21:56,790 What's the answer 577 00:21:56,814 --> 00:21:58,258 to that there surgeon riddle? 578 00:21:58,282 --> 00:21:59,359 Should we tell him, Gloria? 579 00:21:59,383 --> 00:22:00,994 Oh, no, no, wait a second. 580 00:22:01,018 --> 00:22:02,596 Hey, we still got that bet, right? 581 00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:04,998 I got a bigger and a more important bet 582 00:22:05,022 --> 00:22:07,000 with some real men down in Kelsey's Bar. 583 00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,936 Tammy, Gloria! 584 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,737 Archie, I'm glad you're back. 585 00:22:10,761 --> 00:22:13,106 I think I have the answer to the riddle! 586 00:22:13,130 --> 00:22:14,675 Really? Yeah. 587 00:22:14,699 --> 00:22:19,279 The surgeon couldn't operate on his own son, right? 588 00:22:19,303 --> 00:22:20,647 Right. Yeah. 589 00:22:20,671 --> 00:22:25,485 But not because the surgeon was the boy's father... 590 00:22:25,509 --> 00:22:28,956 The surgeon was the boy's mother! 591 00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,591 You're right! 592 00:22:30,615 --> 00:22:33,393 Oh, good for you, Mrs. Bunker! 593 00:22:33,417 --> 00:22:35,095 Why didn't I think of that?! 594 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,898 That's wrong! What's the real answer? 595 00:22:37,922 --> 00:22:40,133 That's it. Mrs. Bunker is right. 596 00:22:40,157 --> 00:22:42,435 Gee, you know, that never entered my head, 597 00:22:42,459 --> 00:22:43,837 that a woman could be a surgeon. 598 00:22:43,861 --> 00:22:45,739 Look at the way I've been trained to think. 599 00:22:45,763 --> 00:22:46,873 Like a chauvinist. Right. 600 00:22:46,897 --> 00:22:48,475 Well, if that's the answer, 601 00:22:48,499 --> 00:22:50,499 that's the dumbest riddle I ever heard. 602 00:22:51,535 --> 00:22:53,446 I'll tell you what's dumb, Mr. Bunker... 603 00:22:53,470 --> 00:22:55,115 That we have all been conditioned to believe 604 00:22:55,139 --> 00:22:56,750 that only men can be surgeons. 605 00:22:56,774 --> 00:22:58,551 Aw, what are you talking about? 606 00:22:58,575 --> 00:23:00,353 With all the millions of doctors in the world, 607 00:23:00,377 --> 00:23:02,155 who the hell ever heard of a woman surgeon? 608 00:23:02,179 --> 00:23:04,858 Daddy, there are thousands of women surgeons in the world. 609 00:23:04,882 --> 00:23:06,860 Oh, well, not around here. 610 00:23:06,884 --> 00:23:08,394 Maybe in your oriental countries, 611 00:23:08,418 --> 00:23:12,254 where they got that there chinky-puncture or something. 612 00:23:15,559 --> 00:23:17,904 Ma, you were very smart to have thought of that. 613 00:23:17,928 --> 00:23:20,573 Oh, thank you, Mike. 614 00:23:20,597 --> 00:23:22,709 But I'm sorry I thought of it 615 00:23:22,733 --> 00:23:24,344 before you did, Archie. 616 00:23:24,368 --> 00:23:26,713 Aw, who cares, Edith? It was a dumb riddle. 617 00:23:26,737 --> 00:23:28,115 It was made up by a woman, 618 00:23:28,139 --> 00:23:31,151 it's got a make-believe woman doctor in it there, 619 00:23:31,175 --> 00:23:32,753 and I ain't surprised that you got it, 620 00:23:32,777 --> 00:23:34,788 because it's a woman's riddle. 621 00:23:34,812 --> 00:23:36,623 I don't want to hear no more about it. 622 00:23:36,647 --> 00:23:39,087 And give me back my cigar. 623 00:23:48,325 --> 00:23:50,470 Oh, my, that was a clever riddle 624 00:23:50,494 --> 00:23:52,139 Tammy gave us. 625 00:23:52,163 --> 00:23:54,741 Clever riddle... 626 00:23:54,765 --> 00:23:56,810 I got a clever riddle for yous. 627 00:23:56,834 --> 00:23:58,600 Oh, good! 628 00:23:59,937 --> 00:24:02,415 How long does it take one dingbat 629 00:24:02,439 --> 00:24:04,707 to go 20 feet for one beer? 630 00:24:13,617 --> 00:24:16,797 How long does it take... 631 00:24:16,821 --> 00:24:17,898 Oh, never mind! 632 00:24:17,922 --> 00:24:19,365 Just go out to the kitchen 633 00:24:19,389 --> 00:24:21,001 and bring me back a can of beer. 634 00:24:21,025 --> 00:24:23,070 Oh. Right away, Archie. 635 00:24:23,094 --> 00:24:25,227 How long does it take one dingbat... 636 00:24:41,245 --> 00:24:43,256 All In The Family was recorded on tape 637 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,180 before a live audience. 44718

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