Original subtitles

PROGRAMMED FOR PLEASURE

Written and directed by FREDERIC LANSAC

I don't know how to start such an extraordinary story...

although I have imagined so many amazing tales...

But this time...

This time it's for real.

It really happened to me.

I'm 32 years old... and what you might call a normal man.

Well... almost.

I have a tremendous sex drive.

Oh, that's lovely.

That's just what I was going to say.

And you haven't seen anything yet.

When I was 14 years old

we had to change the maid every three days.

They didn't have enough time to do the work...

or enough strength.

Well, what do you know!

I've done a lot of traveling.

I've explored just about every whorehouse in the world.

They all got tired of my... "appetite."

Then one day, I met Sabine.

At long last, I had met the ideal lover.

The one I had searched for for so long.

She accepted all my whims... and all my fantasies...

Even the kinkiest ones.

Oh, Sabine...

- Two Vittel waters, please. - Yes, sir.

- Listen... - Yes?

Over there.

- On the right. - OK, thank you.

Come darling, I have to make a telephone call.

Oh, yes... Come!

I'll check what's going on there.

Yes, it's good...

Oh, it's good!

Yes... More!

Yes, harder!

Yes, go on...

Sadly, women are as wavering as the wind, as the saying goes.

Sabine, my dear Sabine,

was starting to get fed up with my gargantuan appetite.

She wasn't the same woman.

She wasn't as willing as she used to be.

Not again!

Oh, no!

Can't I be left alone for 5 minutes?

This guy's going to kill me!

You're beautiful...

Lucky me!

Here we go again!

What about the dishes?

It's just not possible.

Is he ever going to stop?

He's never going to stop!

Enough!

What a bore!

I was a lost man.

No more ideas. No more projects.

I had only one thing on my mind:

How to get her back?

Perhaps with tenderness?

That's how desperate I was!

Tenderness!

Let's try tenderness, then...

I rushed into it blindly.

Sabine?

Sabine?

Come on, Sabine. Don't be childish.

Open the door.

Open the door!

Sabine?

I won't touch you, I swear.

Come on, let me in.

Lost. I was completely lost.

I spent all my time looking for a lay.

Then suddenly...

I had an idea.

Mixing business with pleasure.

I decided to hire myself a secretary.

I interviewed two or three girls before choosing Lucille...

who seemed to have all the qualities required.

FRAMO Temporary Secretarial Agency

If you carry on like this, I won't finish chapter 6 tonight.

- No! - Yes!

- Oh, no! - Oh, yes!

Listen... What about chapter 6?

I'll never finish it.

- Stop! - You're so pretty!

No... Listen... My work...

There...

"FRAMO Temporary Job Agency. At your service, 24 hours a day"

At last, an advertisement that told the truth.

I appreciated that. I appreciated it immensely.

Lucille just decided to stick it out, whenever I felt like sticking it in.

Don't stop on my account...

Well, if she says she doesn't mind...

I hope you have good insurance.

Oh, yes... Oh, Nicolas!

"Good insurance"...

I was having as much fun with her as with Sabine when our affair began.

You're hurting me!

That was nice... Good job!

Lucille was very sexually frustrated.

Before she met me, she only made love once a day.

Once a day?

With me it was once an hour!

More...

Right!

Chapter 5: The City of Wizards.

It was the end of the world...

Some survivors...

Wizards!

I mean... a new kind of wizards.

Computers...

Robots that were programmed... for pleasure.

Pleasure was the last refuge for the survivors.

They used it...

Overused it.

They pretended they were the image of a dying race...

But...

Who was to succeed this dying race?

Mutants?

Regenerated people?

In a completely darkened sky...

shone the star of Lansac.

I can't write!

But how long was it going to last?

How long?

Is it OK?

- It's impossible... - Did you take it all?

I can't write any more... I can't move!

Have you finished yet?

Not so fast!

I like that!

Wake up!

Are you sleeping or what?

I'm tired...

I can't take it anymore!

She was sleeping...

Sleeping while I was fully aroused.

They're all alike.

Weaklings!

Lucille?

Lucille? Where are you?

Lucille?

Goodbye. I want to live for a few more months. Lucille.

Get back to your impotent man, you dumb bitch!

I had sunk to the bottom.

No secretary. No mistress.

No desire to work.

I needed some kind of sex god to give me a helping hand.

He did... and so did I.

Byron, a young film director

wanted to shoot a film based on one of my books:

The Insane Planet.

It wasn't all that interesting...

But on the other hand, his collaborator interested me greatly.

Well?

Well what?

Do you like my adaptation or not?

Oh yeah... it's perfect.

Absolutely perfect.

I knew it.

Right!

I'm off. I have an appointment with the producer.

Olga will show you the set designs.

See you later.

Now, this...

This is the capital of the planet Omega.

That's where they launch the rocket... toward...

This setting...

...is the island of the Leopard Woman.

You see, I have respected your... Well, if you want...

What are you doing?

Olga never returned after that. She sent her designs in by mail.

I began to stare at the postman.

That's how frustrated I'd become.

Then, an idea.

The idea of all time struck me.

The hero of my first novel, The Ideal Servant

constructed a robot.

Why not me?

It was obvious that someone like me

would put the robot to a somewhat different use.

The main thing was to start work.

It took a long time.

Very long.

It was difficult.

Very difficult.

After months of solitude,

many experiments and disappointments,

at last I reached my goal.

Was science-fiction going to turn into real science?

My problems were over.

A female object.

My female object.

I can't describe the joy that overwhelmed me.

I decided to name her Kim.

After an old movie heart-throb.

God created woman. I created Kim.

We were even.

Not having known Eve,

I couldn't compare her with Kim.

Eve bit into the apple.

But I had bigger plans for Kim.

Suddenly...

there was a doubt.

Had I programmed her correctly?

Then my doubts vanished. She was programmed just right.

One thing was certain.

She was better than an inflatable doll.

I decided to let her get acquainted with her erogenous zones.

Perfect.

She was absolutely perfect...

and she also possessed a sense unknown to Man.

And for good reason!

Thanks to Kim, I'd found my will to work again.

I started preparing Byron's film.

Every now and then, I'd take a break.

Kim was always ready to please.

As for me...

I was always ready to play with my new toy.

I wonder if Dr. Frankenstein had the same rapport with his creature...

I felt the need to go even further.

I decided to test the reactions of an outsider.

Byron, my film director, presented an opportunity.

He came by to talk about the script which was supposed to surprise me.

Who would be more surprised?

The rocket fades and, in the distance, the planet explodes.

So?

What?

Well... Aren't you bothered by the fact that I changed the ending?

Oh no.

Not at all.

So?

Well...

Yes... You're very pretty but... Listen...

Well...

Yes... I'm OK if...

Oh no... No... Not the...

Well...

- Why, you're quite a host. - She's a real gem, isn't she?

No doubt, Byron didn't know he was making love to a robot.

Naturally.

She was more feminine than any woman I'd ever met.

Yes, go on...

Congratulations, my dear...

Thanks to Kim's talents,

Byron asked me to write his next film.

He insisted that Kim play the lead.

Of course, I remained vague.

Kim, an actress?

Although an actress who can't talk is a dream for any lazy screenwriter.

Anyway, everything was going well.

Very well.

Too well.

She's charming... but very quiet.

Indeed... She doesn't talk.

- A deaf-mute? - No, she only speaks Norwegian.

- She's Norwegian. - I see.

I came to take a few of my things.

I'll leave room for your little Norwegian.

Although... her wardrobe seems limited.

You needn't bother. I know the way.

You don't have to worry.

It's all finished between us.

Ok, you're nice but leave me alone now.

What are you doing?

What...

What are you doing?

That's lovely.

Leave us alone. You're not wanted here.

- But... - Get lost.

Let me come in peace. It never happened to me in this house before.

Go play with your thing in the garden.

You're really annoying us.

For the first time, she had disobeyed me.

Maybe it was time for a check-up.

Same as a car after 5000 miles.

Whore!

Oh, yes...

Pygmalion must have had the same problems.

But mine had no end in sight.

They were just beginning.

Here... Here's the mail.

I was just... bringing the... uh... mail.

What... What are you doing?

What do you want?

No, no, it's just the...

The mail...

No! I only brought the mail.

What are you... No, stop!

But... What...

Stop it now!

Stop it!

What could I do? Destroy my creation?

Possible but... I couldn't bring myself to do It.

Whore...

Whore!

Whore!

I'd nearly found perfection.

Now, I was going to reach perfection. True perfection.

This time... I was truly happy.

And fully reassured.

And then...

something went wrong.

Well, my good man.

What have they done to us?

What have they done to me?

What have I become?

I had no will of my own anymore.

I accepted every one of their whims.

A male object.

I had become... a male object.

A robot.

THE END