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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
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00:00:07,306 --> 00:00:10,941
♪ songs that made
the hit parade ♪
3
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:14,612
♪ guys like us we had it made ♪
4
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,915
♪ those were the days ♪
5
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:21,118
♪ and you knew
where you were then ♪
6
00:00:21,186 --> 00:00:25,155
♪ girls were girls
and men were men ♪
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00:00:25,224 --> 00:00:27,658
♪ mister, we could use a man ♪
8
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:31,461
♪ like Herbert hoover again ♪
9
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:34,865
♪ didn't need no welfare state ♪
10
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:38,168
♪ everybody pulled his weight ♪
11
00:00:38,237 --> 00:00:42,072
♪ gee, our old
lasalle ran great ♪
12
00:00:42,141 --> 00:00:46,577
♪ those were the days ♪♪
13
00:00:54,153 --> 00:00:55,826
Gloria, will you hurry
it up? Your father's
14
00:00:55,850 --> 00:00:57,666
got me in another one
of his stupid arguments.
15
00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:00,323
That's 'cause when you're
arguing about something stupid...
16
00:01:00,392 --> 00:01:04,494
With somebody who's also stupid,
the argument is bound to be stupid.
17
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,431
Right, stupid?
18
00:01:07,499 --> 00:01:09,433
Come on, Gloria! We're
gonna miss the bus!
19
00:01:09,501 --> 00:01:14,371
Oh, she missed the bus the
day she said "I do" to you.
20
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,373
Will you lay off, arch?
21
00:01:16,442 --> 00:01:20,611
Here, Mike. I made you something to
eat in case you get hungry on the trip.
22
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:25,115
On the trip? He's gonna woof
that down walking to the subway.
23
00:01:25,184 --> 00:01:28,452
Daddy, will you lay off Michael?
We're gonna be gone for eight days.
24
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,454
Do we have to leave
on an angry note?
25
00:01:30,522 --> 00:01:33,523
With him, is there any other way?
Come on. Let me help you with your pack.
26
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,993
Oh, help her with her
pack. Look at this here.
27
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:38,495
He's loading her
up like she's a mule.
28
00:01:38,564 --> 00:01:41,932
All so they can go away and
live with a bunch of commie slobs.
29
00:01:43,335 --> 00:01:45,469
Daddy, they're not
communists, and you know it.
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00:01:45,537 --> 00:01:47,571
They're members of
a farming commune.
31
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,174
People who live in
communes are comm-u-nists.
32
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,481
You're wrong, daddy. Why are
you putting down a group of kids...
33
00:01:57,549 --> 00:02:00,818
Who are trying to build a
life based on love and sharing?
34
00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:02,953
I know all about
that kind of sharing.
35
00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:05,022
First, it's "pass the bread."
36
00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:07,925
Next, it's "kindly
pass your wife."
37
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,927
Come on, Michael.
We're gonna be late.
38
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:13,263
No, wait a second. All week you've
been treating us like criminals...
39
00:02:13,332 --> 00:02:15,343
Just because we're gonna spend
a few days with some people...
40
00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:18,002
Who are sick and tired of
your dog-eat-dog world.
41
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:20,739
If everybody run off and
lived in them communes,
42
00:02:20,763 --> 00:02:23,007
what do you think
are gonna happen, huh?
43
00:02:23,075 --> 00:02:24,923
Who'd run the machinery
of this world? Who'd
44
00:02:24,947 --> 00:02:26,777
drive the subways?
How would I get to work?
45
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:30,014
But, arch, not everyone is
gonna run off to a commune.
46
00:02:30,082 --> 00:02:32,983
Don't you see? It's a question
of each man doing his own thing.
47
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:34,917
Your thing just happens
to be grubbing for a
48
00:02:34,941 --> 00:02:36,787
living in this polluted,
grime-ridden city.
49
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:40,090
And your thing is
spongin' off of my thing.
50
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:43,260
- Good-bye.
- And good "ribbance."
51
00:02:43,328 --> 00:02:46,030
You can stay in that
commune for life for all I care.
52
00:02:46,098 --> 00:02:48,231
I just might stay,
arch. And if I do, that
53
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,668
means your daughter's
staying with me. Come on.
54
00:02:50,736 --> 00:02:54,437
Don't be too sure there! Blood is thicker
than water! Don't you never forget that!
55
00:02:54,506 --> 00:02:57,607
Gloria, Mike, you will
come back, won't you?
56
00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,644
Gloria?
57
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,913
Well, have a good time.
58
00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:09,386
Did you hear that? He said
he might never come back.
59
00:03:09,454 --> 00:03:14,224
Aw, baloney. We ain't gonna lose
him till we sell the refrigerator.
60
00:03:19,464 --> 00:03:24,501
Archie, do you realize
this is the first time...
61
00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:28,405
We've been alone for years?
62
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,743
We got eight whole
days ahead of us.
63
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,713
Oh, my.
64
00:03:35,781 --> 00:03:40,751
I feel like I did on our
honeymoon... all goose pimply.
65
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:43,386
I remember.
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00:03:43,455 --> 00:03:46,556
Could hardly find you
behind all them bumps.
67
00:03:50,429 --> 00:03:53,097
Archie,
68
00:03:53,165 --> 00:03:55,999
do you like being alone with me?
69
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:59,502
Certainly I like being
alone with you, Edith.
70
00:03:59,571 --> 00:04:02,005
Turn on the TV.
71
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:05,743
Oh, let's not watch TV.
72
00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:08,245
We don't talk enough.
73
00:04:08,313 --> 00:04:10,513
You talk enough, Edith.
74
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,352
Archie? Yeah?
75
00:04:16,722 --> 00:04:18,655
I miss the kids.
76
00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:23,560
They just left, Edith.
I don't miss them.
77
00:04:23,629 --> 00:04:26,463
We're gonna have a beautiful,
peaceful week here without them.
78
00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:29,166
They're doin' what they wanna
do. We can do what we wanna do.
79
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:31,250
Got a lot of privacy
now. We can do a lot of
80
00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:33,637
things we couldn't do
with the kids hangin' around.
81
00:04:33,705 --> 00:04:36,140
Yeah.
82
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,776
Like what?
83
00:04:38,844 --> 00:04:43,947
Edith, like, uh... like
anything you wanna name.
84
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:48,618
Like, for instance, we can get
into the "toirlet" whenever we want.
85
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:53,157
Oh, Archie.
86
00:04:53,225 --> 00:04:55,259
I know.
87
00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:58,428
Let's put on a record and dance.
88
00:04:58,497 --> 00:05:00,497
What? Yeah.
89
00:05:00,565 --> 00:05:06,403
The other day I found our old copy
of Glenn Miller's "moonlight serenade."
90
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:10,707
Aw, geez. Remember how
we used to dance to that?
91
00:05:10,776 --> 00:05:13,610
Oh, Edith, come on, huh?
92
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:18,148
Remember how you used
to hold me in your arms,
93
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:21,151
and I used to snuggle
up against your cheek?
94
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,386
♪♪Oh, come on.
95
00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:26,256
Look out, Edith. You're
tearing the paper here. Come on.
96
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:30,560
Come on, will ya? Act your age.
97
00:05:30,629 --> 00:05:35,065
Even Fred Astaire and ginger
Rogers don't dance together no more.
98
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:38,535
And turn that thing off.
99
00:05:38,603 --> 00:05:41,138
Turn it off, Edith.
100
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,781
Come on. Sit down over
here and be nice and quiet.
101
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,951
You want part of the paper?
102
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:56,353
Archie, I'm scared.
103
00:05:56,421 --> 00:05:58,355
You're scared of what?
104
00:05:58,423 --> 00:06:01,491
Of what if the kids
do leave permanent?
105
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:05,562
Because that's when
marriages fall apart.
106
00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:09,132
The husband and
wife are left alone,
107
00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:13,103
and all of a sudden, they
don't know each other no more.
108
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,105
They kind of drifted apart.
109
00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:17,274
They got nothin' in common.
110
00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:22,712
Edith, where do you
get all this crapola?
111
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:28,385
Well, I heard it on television
from Dr. Joyce brothers.
112
00:06:28,453 --> 00:06:31,321
Aw, geez!
113
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:34,657
She calls it the
"marriage vacuum."
114
00:06:34,726 --> 00:06:38,996
When a husband and wife don't
do nothin' together no more.
115
00:06:39,064 --> 00:06:41,598
All right, Edith. You wanna
do somethin' together?
116
00:06:41,666 --> 00:06:43,767
I'll tell ya what we'll do.
117
00:06:43,835 --> 00:06:45,947
First, you go out in the
kitchen and get me some beer.
118
00:06:45,971 --> 00:06:48,638
Yeah? And then I'll drink it.
119
00:06:54,179 --> 00:06:56,746
Come on, Edith.
Don't fall apart.
120
00:06:56,815 --> 00:07:01,051
I was only kiddin' ya. Hey, you
wanna play some cards? Yeah.
121
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,186
You go out in the
kitchen, you get the beer.
122
00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:05,255
I'll get the cards. We'll
play a couple of hands.
123
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,624
Good. That'll be fun.
124
00:07:09,561 --> 00:07:11,494
Geez.
125
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,067
There's one thing
true about marriage.
126
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,836
It keeps you from
readin' the paper.
127
00:07:19,905 --> 00:07:22,372
What kind of cards you
wanna play there, Edith?
128
00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:25,809
Gin rummy, Archie dear. Okay.
129
00:07:25,877 --> 00:07:27,811
Anything you want.
130
00:07:27,879 --> 00:07:30,547
Don't make no difference
to me what game I beat ya at.
131
00:07:30,615 --> 00:07:32,549
Yeah.
132
00:07:32,617 --> 00:07:35,518
I guess we're out of beer. Huh?
133
00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:38,588
I'm sorry. I guess
I forgot to buy it.
134
00:07:38,657 --> 00:07:41,491
Aw, geez, Edith. I don't
ask for much around here.
135
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,428
Is it too much to ask you to
keep some beer in the house?
136
00:07:44,496 --> 00:07:46,930
I said I was sorry.
137
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:51,201
Aw, geez. How you gonna play a
game of rummy without no beer?
138
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:56,073
A man's got a right to expect a
few little things from his wife.
139
00:07:56,141 --> 00:08:00,944
Well, a wife's got a right to expect
a few little things from her husband.
140
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:03,213
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
141
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:07,417
And what few little
things do you expect?
142
00:08:08,587 --> 00:08:12,255
I expect you to say
you're sorry sometimes.
143
00:08:12,324 --> 00:08:15,058
Why should I say I'm sorry?
I didn't forget the beer.
144
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,194
You done that. You
say you're sorry.
145
00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:23,433
Aw, geez. Here we go again.
146
00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:27,270
I know that look. That's
your family's trademark.
147
00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:29,873
Whenever they got somethin'
festering up inside 'em,
148
00:08:29,941 --> 00:08:33,810
they always go
skinny in the nose.
149
00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:37,481
And they get that little frozen
look around the mouth there.
150
00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:39,316
Yeah, that's it.
151
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:43,720
That's just the way your relatives
was looking at me the day you married me.
152
00:08:43,788 --> 00:08:46,123
Well, come on. Get it
over with. What is it?
153
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:49,459
Well, I've been thinkin'.
154
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:51,461
In all the years
we been married,
155
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:54,031
you never once
said you was sorry.
156
00:08:54,099 --> 00:08:59,002
Edith, I'll gladly say i'm
sorry if I am ever wrong.
157
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,108
Come on. We're out
here to have a little fun.
158
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,210
Here, pick up your
cards, get them together.
159
00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:10,080
Let's play a little cards,
huh? All right, Archie.
160
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:13,517
Let's see what I got
myself here. Hey. Ooh.
161
00:09:13,585 --> 00:09:15,519
Hey. Ooh, ooh. Ooh!
162
00:09:15,587 --> 00:09:19,222
It's not so bad at all. All
right. Let's go. Play the game.
163
00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:21,858
You don't want the four of
diamonds. Pick from the deck.
164
00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:25,095
Let's go. That's the way. This
card, now. Come on. Hey! Hey!
165
00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:27,097
Look at that. Ten of hearts.
166
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:30,167
It goes right in there
like it had a pair of eyes.
167
00:09:30,235 --> 00:09:34,671
I give you a little deuce
there, but this card goes.
168
00:09:34,739 --> 00:09:36,673
There we are.
169
00:09:36,741 --> 00:09:40,343
Ten of spades! Look at that!
Edith, what are you doing here?
170
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:43,680
What's the name of
this game? Gin rummy.
171
00:09:43,748 --> 00:09:46,816
You gave it to me on a
silver platter there, Edith.
172
00:09:46,885 --> 00:09:48,818
How many points you got?
173
00:09:48,887 --> 00:09:51,521
Oh, look at this. You're
loaded there. You got...
174
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,957
Wait a minute. What are
you doing? Don't you see?
175
00:09:54,025 --> 00:09:56,593
You broke up your
own run here, Edith.
176
00:09:56,661 --> 00:10:00,063
You got the nine Jack, the queen of
spades. You gave me the ten of spades.
177
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:04,201
- Is it my deal?
- No, wait a minute. Forget the deal.
178
00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:07,437
You don't play that bad.
179
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:09,439
You gave me this ten
of spades on purpose.
180
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:12,375
- I did?
- Yeah, you did. Why'd you do that?
181
00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:16,513
Well, Archie,
182
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:20,383
I thought it would make you
feel better if I let you win.
183
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:22,385
What?
184
00:10:25,857 --> 00:10:29,292
That will be the day... when I
gotta win by you letting me win.
185
00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:31,628
I was winning here
before you let me win.
186
00:10:31,696 --> 00:10:34,998
You know what you done now? You spoiled
the game. I don't wanna play no more.
187
00:10:35,066 --> 00:10:37,934
You wanna do something together,
do something together by yourself.
188
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,304
Archie, I'm sorry.
189
00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:43,373
I thought I was
doing a good thing.
190
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:46,510
Oh, sure. A good thing.
That's you all over.
191
00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:48,745
You're always doing
good. Edith the good.
192
00:10:48,813 --> 00:10:51,348
You never get mad at nobody.
You never holler at nobody.
193
00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:53,350
You never swear. No nothing.
194
00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:56,520
You're like a Saint. You think
it's fun living with a Saint?
195
00:10:56,588 --> 00:10:58,988
It ain't. It ain't at all.
196
00:10:59,057 --> 00:11:01,491
Look at this... you
don't even cheat to win.
197
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,493
You cheat to lose!
198
00:11:05,397 --> 00:11:07,430
I mean, Edith, you ain't human!
199
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,933
That's a terrible thing to say.
200
00:11:11,002 --> 00:11:13,136
I'm just as human as you are.
201
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:16,606
Prove you're just as human
as me. Do something rotten.
202
00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:22,546
All right. I will.
203
00:11:22,614 --> 00:11:26,916
You're a... you're...
You're a... oh!
204
00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:36,693
I can't. I know you can't.
205
00:11:36,761 --> 00:11:40,397
You can't do nothing that
ain't good. You ain't human.
206
00:11:40,465 --> 00:11:42,465
I am so human!
207
00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:46,836
How can you say that I'm not
after 23 years of marriage?
208
00:11:46,905 --> 00:11:49,706
How can you stand
there and say I'm not hu...
209
00:11:49,774 --> 00:11:53,009
Aw, geez, now you're gonna
cry on me. I can't help it.
210
00:11:53,078 --> 00:11:55,545
That was a terrible
thing to say.
211
00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:58,092
I can't stand here and fight
with you if you're gonna cry.
212
00:11:58,116 --> 00:12:00,450
I can't help it. I'm sorry.
213
00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:04,221
You say you're sorry,
and I'll stop crying.
214
00:12:04,289 --> 00:12:07,357
Stop that! Stop that!
215
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:11,328
Archie, things will never
be the same between us...
216
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:13,330
If you don't say you're sorry!
217
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:16,032
Are you gonna
stop crying? I can't!
218
00:12:16,101 --> 00:12:18,768
Then that's it! Archie,
where are you going?
219
00:12:18,837 --> 00:12:22,405
I'm gonna go out!
Please say you're sorry!
220
00:12:22,474 --> 00:12:24,574
I'll give you one more
chance to stop crying!
221
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,576
You gonna stop? I can't!
222
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:29,879
Then that's it! You
pushed me too far, Edith!
223
00:12:29,948 --> 00:12:33,116
Too far! Too far!
224
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:45,061
No, maude. It's been
a whole week now,
225
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:48,265
and Archie ain't
said he's sorry.
226
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:52,602
Sure, we talk. Every night he
says to me, "I'll see you later.
227
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:55,272
I'm going down to kelcy's bar."
228
00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:58,141
No, I ain't forgiving
him until he says...
229
00:12:58,209 --> 00:13:00,143
Jimmy, I'll see you
tomorrow. There's Archie.
230
00:13:00,211 --> 00:13:02,845
I'd better hang up. Good night.
231
00:13:02,914 --> 00:13:06,082
♪ Oh, you can easily
see she's not my mother ♪
232
00:13:06,151 --> 00:13:10,052
♪ because my mother's
49 ba, ba, ba, boo ♪
233
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:15,759
♪ and you can easily
see she's not my sister ♪
234
00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:20,029
♪ 'cause I wouldn't give my
sister such a hell of a good time ♪
235
00:13:20,098 --> 00:13:24,668
♪ and you can easily
see she's not my sweetie ♪
236
00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:28,204
♪ 'cause my
sweetie's so refined ♪
237
00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:32,475
♪ she's just a fun-loving kid ♪
238
00:13:32,544 --> 00:13:33,755
♪ she didn't know what she did ♪
239
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:36,913
♪ she's just a personal
friend of mine ♪♪
240
00:13:38,082 --> 00:13:40,016
Good evening, Archie.
241
00:13:41,853 --> 00:13:44,220
Hey, Edith. Hey, Edith.
Look at me. Look at me.
242
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:46,690
You know what I am? You know
what you're looking at here?
243
00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:49,592
The electric shuffleboard
champion of kelcy's bar and grill.
244
00:13:49,661 --> 00:13:51,628
Oh, Edith, you should've
been down there.
245
00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:54,096
Nobody could stop me.
I was beating them all.
246
00:13:54,165 --> 00:13:56,700
Zip, bam. Zip, bam. Zip,
bam, bam, bam! Bam!
247
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:59,480
Crowd gathering all around me. You
know what they was calling themselves?
248
00:13:59,504 --> 00:14:02,238
"Archie's army."
249
00:14:02,307 --> 00:14:05,608
I didn't disappoint nobody.
I retired undefeated.
250
00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:08,611
I'll get you some coffee.
251
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,814
Don't you put yourself
to no trouble there, Edith.
252
00:14:10,882 --> 00:14:13,616
It's no trouble. It's my job.
253
00:14:15,987 --> 00:14:18,120
Thank you. Thank you, Edith.
254
00:14:18,189 --> 00:14:20,122
You're welcome, Archie.
255
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:26,796
Hey, uh... hey, Edith dear,
256
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:30,066
did you enjoy yourself
around here this evening?
257
00:14:30,134 --> 00:14:33,370
I mean, did anything
nice happen, or... huh?
258
00:14:33,438 --> 00:14:35,739
Well, we got a
telegram from the kids.
259
00:14:35,807 --> 00:14:37,741
They're fine. They're
coming home tonight.
260
00:14:37,809 --> 00:14:40,176
Oh, hey, that's swell, Edith.
261
00:14:40,245 --> 00:14:42,311
Maybe we'll get back to
normal around here, huh?
262
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,414
Not exactly, Archie.
263
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,783
Here's your coffee. I'm
going to bed. Good night.
264
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,586
Wait a minute. Wait.
265
00:14:49,654 --> 00:14:52,722
Wait a minute there,
Edith. Come on, will you?
266
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:56,325
It's the shank of the evening.
You don't have to go up there now.
267
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,762
Just let me finish my
coffee, and I'll go with you.
268
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:02,732
Just sit down here, huh?
Just for a minute or two.
269
00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:05,668
There. Ain't that nice?
270
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:08,805
Just the way you want it
now... the two of us together.
271
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:19,315
Oh, boy, that's great coffee,
Edith. I'll say one thing for you.
272
00:15:19,384 --> 00:15:22,552
- You always made great coffee.
- Thank you.
273
00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:26,823
Oh, yeah, I know what
I want to tell you.
274
00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:29,191
- You remember cliff hogan?
- No.
275
00:15:30,261 --> 00:15:33,195
Oh, well, it's just
as well anyhow.
276
00:15:33,264 --> 00:15:36,098
He was arrested tonight
in kelcy's bar. No kidding.
277
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:39,101
The cops come in there, they
dragged him out from under his beer.
278
00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:43,606
You know why? He
was beating his wife.
279
00:15:44,676 --> 00:15:46,810
I think a lot of
guys do that, Edith.
280
00:15:49,981 --> 00:15:53,983
That's why so many dames
shoot their husbands.
281
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:59,823
- Did you ever think about
taking a shot at me?
- No.
282
00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:02,826
That's good.
283
00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:06,496
I never thought about
shooting you neither.
284
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,001
It's nice when two people
get along together, huh?
285
00:16:14,105 --> 00:16:16,940
- Right, Edith?
- Have you finished your coffee?
286
00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:19,275
Wait a minute. Where
are you running away to?
287
00:16:19,344 --> 00:16:23,079
Can't you just sit down
here for a little while? Huh?
288
00:16:23,147 --> 00:16:26,382
I mean, don't you see what i'm
trying to do? I'm trying to be nice.
289
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:29,385
I'm trying to make you
happy. Now, be happy! Will you?
290
00:16:32,323 --> 00:16:34,858
You know what
would make me happy.
291
00:16:34,926 --> 00:16:37,527
I'm waiting to hear
you say your sorry.
292
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:40,897
And nothing will be right
between us until I hear you say it.
293
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,933
You are selfish, Edith!
That's what you are... selfish!
294
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:45,935
You're always thinking
about yourself.
295
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:49,171
What would happen to this little
family here if I'd done that, huh?
296
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,408
I've got a lot of things
on my mind too, you know.
297
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:56,278
What things? Oh,
listen, plenty of things.
298
00:16:56,347 --> 00:16:58,447
Some of them are important.
299
00:17:02,186 --> 00:17:04,888
Well, tell me. What are they?
300
00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:08,090
Well, I mean...
Like for instance...
301
00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:11,661
All right. Remember that time
three years ago, down at work?
302
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:15,097
I was supposed to move
upstairs to the office there.
303
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:19,602
- You know why I never did?
- No. Why?
304
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,604
Well, because...
305
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:24,084
If I tell you this, you gotta
promise you'll never tell a soul,
306
00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:26,509
living or dead.
307
00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:31,213
- I promise.
- All right.
308
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:34,050
I didn't get that promotion...
309
00:17:34,118 --> 00:17:36,385
Because I didn't
finish high school.
310
00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:41,357
Oh, Archie, I never knew that.
311
00:17:41,426 --> 00:17:45,294
Well, I didn't want you to be
ashamed of me... you and Gloria.
312
00:17:45,363 --> 00:17:48,064
And I didn't think that
the meathead knew...
313
00:17:48,132 --> 00:17:50,266
Don't you ever blab
this to the meathead.
314
00:17:53,271 --> 00:17:57,239
If he finds out about this, he'll go
around thinking he's smarter than me.
315
00:17:57,308 --> 00:18:01,844
- I won't tell.
- Anyway, I nearly finished.
316
00:18:01,913 --> 00:18:06,015
I had to quit my last term, get a
job. You know, help out at home.
317
00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:08,117
Oh, Archie.
318
00:18:08,186 --> 00:18:11,420
Oh, Edith, things were tough
around them times, I tell you.
319
00:18:11,489 --> 00:18:13,590
Boy, I was lucky
to get the job...
320
00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:17,326
Pushing a hand truck full of ladies'
ready-to-wear up and down 7th Avenue.
321
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,363
Yeah. They used to
call me the "goisha" kid.
322
00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:26,569
That's 'cause I was the only gentile, I
guess, in the whole garment district.
323
00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:31,040
You know, except for
a sprinkle of the dagos.
324
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:34,577
Which they might as
well be Jews anyhow.
325
00:18:40,284 --> 00:18:43,352
I'm sorry about
your not graduating.
326
00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:45,888
I'll tell you
something else too.
327
00:18:45,957 --> 00:18:49,358
If I had stood in high
school there and graduated,
328
00:18:49,427 --> 00:18:52,461
I might have been a pitcher
in the major leagues.
329
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:55,098
You wanted to be
a baseball player?
330
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:57,600
That's right, Edith. I'll
tell you something else.
331
00:18:57,669 --> 00:19:00,637
When I was on that high school
team, I was very, very good.
332
00:19:00,705 --> 00:19:03,539
I had a hell of an arm
when I was a kid then.
333
00:19:03,608 --> 00:19:07,910
That was my one big dream...
Pitch for the New York Yankees.
334
00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:12,414
Let me warm up your coffee.
No, no, no, it's fine. It's fine.
335
00:19:12,483 --> 00:19:16,452
Yeah, I guess most people
wanna be something else.
336
00:19:16,521 --> 00:19:21,124
What did you ever
wanna be, Edith? Anything?
337
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,605
No. No.
338
00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:41,744
No, I didn't, but my mother did.
339
00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:44,580
Oh, your mother,
huh? What'd she want?
340
00:19:44,649 --> 00:19:49,485
She wanted to be the
mother of a tap dancer.
341
00:19:49,554 --> 00:19:51,187
Huh? yeah.
342
00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:56,525
She got the idea from those old
Shirley temple movies. You know.
343
00:19:56,594 --> 00:19:59,128
♪ On the good ship lollipop ♪
344
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:02,531
♪ it's a nice trip from
the candy shop ♪♪
345
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:07,170
♪♪ yeah, I remember. I
remember. I remember! I remember.
346
00:20:08,973 --> 00:20:13,710
She used to say to me, "Edith..."
That's what she always called me.
347
00:20:18,783 --> 00:20:22,551
"If Shirley temple
can do it, so can you.
348
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:26,288
You're much prettier than she is,
and you got just as much talent."
349
00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:35,832
You know how mothers
are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
350
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:40,603
I remember she bought me a pair
of black patent leather tap shoes,
351
00:20:40,671 --> 00:20:44,006
and she took me to miss
Jeanette's school of the dance.
352
00:20:44,075 --> 00:20:46,008
A dollar an hour.
353
00:20:46,077 --> 00:20:50,847
But miss Jeanette gave my mother
her money back after the second lesson.
354
00:20:53,551 --> 00:20:58,087
- You wanna know why?
- Yeah, I'm waiting to hear.
355
00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:01,457
Whenever I tried to tap,
356
00:21:01,525 --> 00:21:04,593
my foot kept missin' the floor.
357
00:21:07,298 --> 00:21:10,133
All right. I guess you
had to give it up then.
358
00:21:10,201 --> 00:21:13,169
I mean, if your foot
never hit the floor.
359
00:21:15,606 --> 00:21:19,275
That's just as well. You could never
have competed with the coloreds.
360
00:21:19,343 --> 00:21:22,178
They were always the
best for tap dancing.
361
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:26,182
I mean, Shirley temple was
never as good as bojangles.
362
00:21:30,421 --> 00:21:33,055
You was always a great
ballroom dancer, Edith.
363
00:21:33,124 --> 00:21:35,057
I can remember that about you.
364
00:21:35,126 --> 00:21:37,493
And I'm gonna prove
that to you right now.
365
00:21:37,561 --> 00:21:39,628
Let me get this on.
366
00:21:39,697 --> 00:21:41,630
There.
367
00:21:44,635 --> 00:21:47,103
Yeah? Come on.
Let's give it a whirl.
368
00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:50,406
Archie, are you
asking me to dance?
369
00:21:50,474 --> 00:21:52,775
Certainly. You wanted to
dance last week, didn't you?
370
00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:56,345
Oh, well, I don't
know. It's been so long.
371
00:21:56,414 --> 00:22:00,616
So what? You never
forget dancing. Get up here.
372
00:22:00,685 --> 00:22:03,920
It's like riding a bike. Once
you got it, you got it for life.
373
00:22:07,792 --> 00:22:09,725
Yeah.
374
00:22:09,794 --> 00:22:11,727
Ain't that nice? Oh, yeah.
375
00:22:11,796 --> 00:22:13,762
Yeah. Look out for this one now.
376
00:22:14,999 --> 00:22:18,701
Oh! Oh!
377
00:22:18,769 --> 00:22:21,670
Yeah. That make you happy?
378
00:22:21,739 --> 00:22:23,873
Yeah.
379
00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:26,909
Yeah. What was I doing?
380
00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:30,346
Next time you get a bee in your
belfry, I won't waste my time arguin'.
381
00:22:30,414 --> 00:22:32,348
I'll just grab you for a dance.
382
00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:36,085
What?
383
00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:39,188
What are you doing?
384
00:22:39,257 --> 00:22:42,325
Don't turn the music...
It's getting late, Archie.
385
00:22:42,393 --> 00:22:44,827
What are you talking
about? It ain't late at all.
386
00:22:44,896 --> 00:22:46,829
We ain't finished the dance yet.
387
00:22:46,898 --> 00:22:49,498
I don't know what I
just said, but I'm sor...
388
00:22:49,567 --> 00:22:51,567
Listen. Listen. Come on.
389
00:22:51,635 --> 00:22:54,036
We... we... we can't
leave the floor...
390
00:22:54,105 --> 00:22:56,772
Until the first prize is
given out to the best couple.
391
00:22:56,841 --> 00:23:00,642
And here it is right now to the
best couple on the floor. There.
392
00:23:00,711 --> 00:23:03,612
Archie, a present for me?
393
00:23:03,681 --> 00:23:06,949
Certainly. Open it up. Oh!
394
00:23:07,018 --> 00:23:08,951
First prize.
395
00:23:10,855 --> 00:23:13,822
Oh, Archie!
396
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:17,493
A lady gilette!
397
00:23:24,535 --> 00:23:27,904
Well, the drugstore was the
only joint open this time of night.
398
00:23:29,207 --> 00:23:32,241
Thank you. You like it?
399
00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:34,610
Who wouldn't?
400
00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:38,480
Yeah, swell.
401
00:23:38,549 --> 00:23:41,150
And, Edith,
402
00:23:41,219 --> 00:23:43,953
about this little spat we've
been having around here all week.
403
00:23:44,022 --> 00:23:46,022
Yeah, Archie? Well, you know,
404
00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:49,658
all them names I was calling
you, like Saint and Edith the good...
405
00:23:49,727 --> 00:23:51,928
And saying you
wasn't human and all,
406
00:23:51,996 --> 00:23:54,730
I just want to say that,
407
00:23:54,799 --> 00:23:56,832
you know...
408
00:23:56,901 --> 00:23:58,500
You're sorry.
409
00:24:03,741 --> 00:24:05,674
Yeah.
410
00:24:11,382 --> 00:24:14,450
I'm glad you said it, Archie.
411
00:24:17,221 --> 00:24:19,388
Well, you know...
412
00:24:36,441 --> 00:24:39,008
Aw, geez, they're at it again.
413
00:24:48,652 --> 00:24:50,853
Mom, daddy, we'll see you later.
414
00:24:50,921 --> 00:24:54,656
Are youse goin' out again tonight?
You just got home last night.
415
00:24:54,725 --> 00:24:56,446
We're going to the
movies. We figured you
416
00:24:56,470 --> 00:24:58,427
kids would like to have
the house to yourself.
417
00:24:59,497 --> 00:25:01,430
Get out of here!
418
00:25:01,499 --> 00:25:03,466
See you later. Good night.
419
00:25:03,534 --> 00:25:08,237
Good night.
420
00:25:10,708 --> 00:25:12,641
What?
421
00:25:30,928 --> 00:25:34,997
All in the family was recorded
on tape before a live audience.
34049
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