Original subtitles

[SINGING]

♪ It's all right

♪ For tonight To break out And take it

♪ Feeling high

♪ Feeling wild

♪ Running hot

♪ Yeah, feeling high

♪ Feeling wild Running hot ♪

-Well... -Yeah, yeah.

-Boy, I'm bagged. -Long night.

-I could go for pizza for breakfast. -Sure.

Woo-hoo!

Woo-hoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Hey!

You up there! Did you see that?

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Eight... Seven...

Three...

Two...

One...

Green.

[LAUGHING]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

-Hey! -Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

MAN: Go, skids!

[HONKING] Hey, skids!

Hey, P.C.! Oh, shit!

[CRASHING]

[LAUGHING] MAN: Skids!

[ELEVATOR DING]

Miss Dodge, you are in the company of a legend.

Do you have any idea what I did this morning?

Finished the verbatim tender?

The verbatim tender? Miss Dodge, we're talking miracles.

We're talking three-sixties. That's what I did, a three-sixty.

A circle! Very impressive. Let me know when you've mastered the square and the triangle.

-Miss Dodge, you lack vision. -I also lack the verbatim tender.

Ta-da!

That was fast.

-Kiss. -Don't be ridiculous, Mr. Simpson.

No, no, Miss Dodge. K-I-S-S. Keep it sweet and simple.

It's my motto.

I shall have it chiseled in granite.

Stewart, this is Kate Lawrence. She's a new addition.

Hi, Kate. The name is P.C.

-Welcome. -Thank you.

Kate, shoes are the curse of twentieth-century man.

-Give us a hand, P.C. -Howard!

-It's operational. -Great. Let's see what the little beauty can do.

HOWARD: A-ha! Let me show you.

Oh, Howard... New person. Kate, Howard.

Oh, hello.

Would you plug that in please?

It's a laser corrector.

P.C. came up with the idea, I perfected it.

Here's how it works.

If you should happen to make a mistake,

you just press the button... [MACHINE BEEPING]

And zap! It bleaches it off the page.

Presto! Hmm.

Now, don't hold the button down too long.

And I don't know if you're technically minded...

-Kate. -But don't fiddle with the resistance.

It's critically set. Apart from that, it drives itself.

-Fool proof. -It'd solve all my problems.

MISS DODGE: Kate!

HOWARD: I'm not so sure of that.

With a projected easing from 9.5 percent this year,

to 7.5 percent by the end of '86.

The new flexible pricing system may be inflationing.

-We have reorganized... -[WHISPERING] Howard, have a look at this.

to enable three shifts to be worked instead of the current two.

[WHISPERING] See? There are three patterns in the sail.

This is an optional pattern.

Yes, I see... Yes.

-These measures will increase production by approximately... -P.C.: Carbon fiber...

Still leaves a two percent gap in next year's projections calendar.

-Thank you. -P.C.: We've got to have the bottom made out of...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Stewart, perhaps you have some contribution on next quarter's speculative.

Surf-o-rama.

Pardon?

Surf-o-rama... It's an idea I've been working on.

-I thought you were working... -No, this is better.

It's an indoor...

all weather surf stadium.

The Japanese will go bananas over it.

-Stewart... -Yes, sir...

You're about to ask, "What about the problem of the volume of water

"and energy needed to create an artificial wave?" Ah...

That's where my idea is different.

We build it... in the mountains...

below a hydroelectric dam.

Now, we contour the bottom with artificial reefs

to create perfect, consistent waves,

which is the one thing which prevents surfing from becoming a really big money sport

-like tennis or golf. -Stewart...

Economics? Right...

My design will produce two artificial waves per minute.

In a ten-hour day, that's...

1,200 waves.

At five customers per wave, I'd say...

at four dollars a head, that's...

24,000 dollars a day.

Not bad. Should take care of your two-percent projection gap.

Well?

What do you reckon?

Meeting adjourned.

Unless there's any other serious business?

Good luck.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

WOMAN ON PHONE: Simpson Engineering, good morning. Can I help you?

You wanna see me, right, Dad?

MR. SIMPSON: [FROM INSIDE THE OTHER ROOM] Stewart...

On the other hand...

performance isn't everything.

Attitude counts a great deal when you're the boss.

And when you are... [MUFFLED SPEAKING]

Responsibility is even greater...

than in any other situation.

And when I say, "Boss' son,"

Kate.

MR. SIMPSON: And by boss' son, of course I don't just mean the boss' son.

[MUFFLED SPEECH]

LURCH: Negative mineral balance is the curse of modern man.

Eats up vital phosphorus and magnesium.

I'm telling you guys, if you want to compete in the pros, you better be in peak meat.

These Hawaiians nowadays, they're into yoga, vitamin supplements,

the whole kit and caboodle.

Now, with massive daily intakes of vitamin B12,

Haven't you heard, mate? B12 turns your piss Technicolor.

You're kidding me.

Take it or leave it, that's the way it goes.

[LAUGHTER AND CHATTER]

Hey!

Hey!

-Hey! -Hey, P.C.!

I did it. A three-sixty with a perfect landing.

You? Fish piss.

A three-fifty, then bust both ankles on landing maybe.

But a three-sixty loop?

It was a full three-sixty loop and I came out of it clean.

[SCOFFING] Come on, man.

Right, yeah sure, mate.

Have I ever lied to you guys?

-Yeah... -Plenty of times, P.C.

I didn't even plan it. That was the beauty. It just happened spontaneously.

Yeah, like this. Watch!

Now, wait...

If a guy's in the middle of the woods and he does a three-sixty,

and nobody sees him do it,

-who pays for the beer? -He does!

That's right, set them up, come on.

-Skeptics... -A million thanks.

[LAUGHING]

How's a guy supposed to soar like and eagle when he's surrounded by turkeys?

[LAUGHING AND GOBBLING]

[CROWING]

[GOBBLING]

Drinks on the house, my man.

ALL: [CHANTING] Scull, scull, scull, scull, scull, scull...

[CHEERING]

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

[SINGING]

♪ Fevering high

♪ Got no time To think of tomorrow ♪

Hey, whoa!

She saw me. She saw me do it.

MAN: Yeah, sure she did, P.C.

MAN: Shift it back. I have money riding on that match.

-Come on. -Here, catch!

Hey, grab it! Here!

-Here, grab it! -You're gonna miss it!

Over here!

[LAUGHING]

MAN: Hey, where you going?

Get off the bloody bar.

Hey, get off the bar!

I'm telling you guys, she saw me do it.

Sure, P.C.

-Oh, yeah. Really! -What a dog!

[LAUGHING AND BARKING]

[LAUGHING]

P.C.'s type all right.

[LAUGHING]

MR. SIMPSON: [ON THE PHONE] And I won't have you and Howard using up the company's

valuable computer time with your pet project.

There's one more thing to consider and that is this...

-You've only got four days left to get that finished...-[CLEARS THROAT]

-and off to the printer's. -God bless you.

Do you read me or shall I spell it out?

Yes, sir. Four days. Ten-four.

You trying to be smart?

No, sir. Definitely not.

By the way...

I'd copyright that surf-o-rama idea if I were you.

Not bad.

Yes, sir.

Right away, sir.

The reports you requested yesterday.

What about the weather and tide reports?

-It's all a matter of priorities, Miss Dodge. -Precisely.

Voltaire said, "The tide tarrieth for no man."

Voltaire was a drunk. John Hayward said it.

You're fast, too.

I guess that's why I find you so...

gosh darn compelling.

Touch me and I'll rupture your spleen, Mr. Simpson.

[IN DAD'S VOICE] Attitude, Miss Dodge.

Attitude is very important when you're the boss' son's secretary.

Miss Dodge, can you get on to our media rep at channel 7?

I'd like a dub of last night's rock video please.

A video about rocks...

Quick as a flash.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Feeling hot

♪ Got no time To think of tomorrow

♪ It's all right

♪ For tonight to break out and take it

♪ Feeling hot

♪ Feeling wild

♪ Running hot

♪ Shake it down

♪ Messing around

♪ Running hot

♪ Want it all

♪ Shake the walls

♪ Shout in a new day

♪ Won't be shy

♪ Make the night

♪ Awake and surrender

♪ Feeling hot

♪ Feeling wild

♪ Running hot

♪ Shake it down

♪ Messing around

♪ Running hot

♪ Got a fever Gonna let it grow

♪ Running hot

♪ Gonna feel it Gonna let go

♪ Running hot

♪ Hot

[GUITAR SOLO]

♪ Fevering high

♪ Got no time...

What can I offer you, Gov?

Oh... [HESITATING]

Yeah, mate... I'm a friend of Jade's.

Oh, yeah? And who are you then?

Stewart P. Simpson, Gov.

Hi, P.C.

-P.C.? -Yeah, it's a nickname. Short for police car.

-Cute. -I'm very fast.

I can see that.

Why don't you show me how fast you are and piss off?

No, you don't understand. I'm a talent agent from London.

And I came down in the last rain. Now, bloody off it.

Look, I'm a very important person.

How'd you like me to build a block up on the end of your nose then, handsome?

Hey, P.C.!

Marco!

What are you doing to him?

-Do you know this geezer? -That's no geezer. That's P.C. Simpson.

Oh, he's kosher then?

-Yes, get back to the door. -Yeah, get back to the door.

Ta!

I'm sorry about that, P.C.

He's new here. He's a good bouncer.

Bad thinker.

The singer... What's her real name?

Kelly... Jade Kelly.

Jade...

I love you. I've always loved you and I always will.

-Do I know you? -You might have seen me in the latest issue of Sail and Wind.

My copy must have got lost in the mail.

-I was on the cover, hanging upside-down, after... -Figures.

You've hurt me, you know?

No, really, I'm hurt.

You and I spend an intimate morning alone together and you don't even remember.

Okay, so what's your angle?

-My angle? -Yeah.

Well...

Nobody believes you saw me do that three-sixty.

My reputation is in tatters.

Flotsam and Jetsam on the stormy sea of skepticism.

What are you talking about?

The other day on the beach...

You on the sand, me in the surf...

Oh... Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I remember. That was sensational when you flipped in a circle like that.

Then you did see me. I was starting to think you were a ghost or a...

Like Meryl Streep in The French Lieutenant's Woman .

-Do you always talk so much? -Only when I'm awake.

You know, you're voice has a certain...

Joplin-esque ballsiness,

tempered with a hint of Diana Ross vulnerability.

Are you for real?

Wanna feel?

-Hi, I'm P.C. -P.C., huh?

What's that stand for, pure crap?

persistently charming,

potential champion, maybe.

No, It's police car, actually.

Because you're always on the prowl.

Because I chase sirens.

Hmm...

I made quite an effort to find you, you know.

You just disappeared the other day.

I was supposed to stay?

I wish you had.

Yeah, well I was tired. I work at night.

What about tonight?

-You ready, Jade? -Yeah, I'll meet you there.

-You sure? -Yep.

Yeah... Well, get your skates on. The meter is running.

-Who's the yuppie? -Where are we going?

I don't know where you're going, but we're recording...

till dawn.

-You work all night? -Uh-huh.

It's cheaper that way.

-That's some life. -Yep.

What about the daytime? Sun shining...

birds singing... flowers blooming...

Sunflowers bloom at night.

Cute car.

So...

When are we gonna get down to a deeply meaningful relationship?

When pigs fly and dogs tap dance.

-A casual dalliance? -Less likely.

I guess a quickie in the back seat is right out of the question.

Goodnight, parrot chatter.

Bye.

See you soon.

Hmm...

P.C.: Look, mine's longer.

HOWARD: Well, mine's still harder.

P.C.: Mine goes higher.

HOWARD: Well, I don't think you can compare them.

Mine stays up a lot longer.

Gee, these things are really sensitive.

Well, don't yank it about.

She's up to 2,000.

Not bad, not bad at all.

That's means theoretically speaking, she could take hurricane-force winds

before she starts breaking up on you.

You know, I recon if we shed another six mill into the entry concave,

and coated it with unpolished epoxy, we could reduce some skin friction.

You might be right, you might be wrong.

Anyway, it's immaterial. I've got deadlines to meet.

I can't do it.

Your father wants those platform-stabilized designs.

-Hello? -MAN: P.C.?

-Speaking. -You ordered a galah?

That's right, I want it delivered immediately.

Howard, you can do anything. I'll sort things out with the old man.

You just concentrate on the board.

When I win the World Classic, you'll be famous.

You'll be the Ben Nixon of wind surfing.

-It's on its way. -Yep.

That's fine, thank you.

Let's wind it up a bit.

-She might not take it. -Let's see.

COMPUTER VOICE: Wipe out, wipe out. Game over.

You got another 20 cents?

[PARROT SCREECHING]

[PARROT GIGGLING]

-Marco! -PARROT: For tonight... Feeling right.

[PARROT TALKING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

So, that's why they call you Lurch.

[IN LURCH'S VOICE] Yes, Me Lord.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[HORN HONKING]

Hey, up yours!

Hey, Lurch, check the car!

Hey, P.C., where you off to? Your own funeral?

[LAUGHING]

Hey, what do you got under the hood, mate?

-Come on, you wanna drag? -Rise above it, Lurch.

This is a company car, remember?

MANGLES: You chicken or something?

[BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey! Stop!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

RATSO: Shit!

Move on, Lurch.

-Bugger. -Oh, geez.

Up yours, P.C.

Prick.

[HORN HONKING]

Oh, no!

Thanks, pal.

[HORN HONKING]

RATSO: Asshole.

-Jerk. -Me? You were bloody driving the thing.

Don't forget to open the doors for us.

[SINGING] ♪ Feeling high...

♪ Feeling wild...

♪ Running hot

[FARTING SOUND]

[FARTING SOUNDS] [LAUGHING]

[FARTING]

[BARKING SOUNDS]

[BARKING SOUNDS]

[LAUGHING]

Hey, let me try that.

[BURPING] Okay, let's go, guys.

We've got a lot of work to get through.

And they call Barbara Streisand tough.

So, what's wrong with 100 percent?

That reminds me, I've got some.

-Some what? -100 percent.

-Wanna get wasted? -Sorry, I can't afford the brain cells.

Suit yourself.

Ready?

[EXHALING]

What do you want?

Dinner. With you.

Said the spider to the fly.

Does that mean yes?

Look, I've already eaten and I'm in no mood for games, okay?

Drinks then.

I'm working.

SYNTHESIZER: Working, working, working...

Well, you're only booked till midnight tonight. I checked.

You don't give up, do you?

Go on, how about it?

ENGINEER: Time marches on.

Look, if you will just excuse us please... Out.

[EXHALING] Okay.

All right.

Would you like these?

If that's the way you want it...

Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?

Guys!

-Put me down! -Why didn't we think of that?

Put me down!

I said put me down!

Who do you think you are?

I'm not...

How dare you?

Okay, you asked for it.

[HITTING] [GROANING]

[GROANING]

-Home, Me Lord? -Yes.

MAN ON TV: Come on Liz, I'm innocent.

Hi, P.C. [GASPS]

-What happened to your eye? -Shh... Kate.

You may not believe this, but yesterday, I tested my new rig in a cyclone.

I didn't know there was a cyclone yesterday.

Electronics are a wonderful thing, Kate. Nowadays...

a microchip could reduce a camel to digits and pass it through the eye of a needle.

Why would anyone want to do that?

Forget it.

Miss Dodge wants to see you.

Thanks.

-MAN: Good day, P.C. -Good day.

[BEEP] [SINGING] Ground control to Major Dodge.

Hello. You wanted to see me?

Stewart Senior is waiting to see you.

So, what else is new?

Something arrived for Stewart Junior, which accidentally went to Stewart Senior.

What?

I find it rather hard to explain.

Howard finished the prototype.

God, the man is a wizard.

-[PARROT SCREECHING] -You wanted to see me, right Dad?

[PARROT TALKING]

Stewart, does anything normal ever happen to you?

Not much, sir, no.

I got a report on the billings takeover.

That bad, was it?

It was fine... Ingenuous...

until the bird ate pages four...

nine...

and...

twenty-two B.

I suppose you're wondering why I was sent a galah.

No, I'm only wondering how quickly you can get rid of it.

-Quickly. -Do it.

Done.

[HUMMING]

[SIGHING]

Dirty buggers.

[SIGHING]

[SCREECHING] [GLASS BREAKING]

[CLATTERING]

MUSICIAN 1: I'll bet she's booked another session.

MUSICIAN 2: Impossible. No one can work twenty hours straight.

See you back here tonight, guys.

-ALL: Tonight? -Pain is gain.

MUSICIAN 3: Ruthless shrew!

MUSICIAN 1: I told you. MUSICIAN 2: I don't believe it. Doesn't she ever sleep?

MUSICIAN1: No, she's not human.

[SQUEALING]

Hey!

Hey, what's going on?

What are you doing, mate?

What the... Guys!

Hey! Put her down!

She's ours!

Stop! I said stop!

Anyone for pizza?

JADE: You've got the wrong car!

This is ridiculous!

Absolutely bloody ridiculous!

[HONKING HORN] Pull over! We'll sort it out, okay?

-Hey Lurch, coming? -Be with you in a minute.

Meditation concentrates the energies.

What Cornflakes package you get that off?

You'll see.

Om.

What the hell do you think you're doing, you bloody prick?

-Charming. -Charming, my ass.

I'm gonna get you for unlawful disrespect of private property.

You're gone, mate.

Our lawyers can talk about it over lunch.

You arrogant, self-centered son of a bitch.

Om.

Okay, I'm watching!

-Do it! -Whoo!

[CHEERING]

-MAN: P.C.'s hot today! -Coyote will be furious!

WOMAN: Yeah, he's gonna kill him in the World Classic.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[SIREN]

MAN: [ON MEGAPHONE] There is a wind capping alarm in this area!

Get out of the water immediately!

Get the flags!

Clear the water out!

Now!

Clear the water!

Clear the water immediately!

[YELLING ON MEGAPHONE]

Coming through!

Yes! Now!

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

-Clear the water! -What's going on, mate?

[PEOPLE ARGUING] I'll tell you...

-You're in trouble. -I'm in trouble?

Get the board and you move it, Charlie.

You move it fast, you hear me? [ARGUING]

[ARGUING]

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

[YELLING ON MEGAPHONE]

Whoo-hoo!

[GRUNTING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

What the fuck?

[SQUEAKING]

[SIGHING]

You scared the shit out of me.

You little bastard.

Come here.

[SIGHING]

Come on, let's go for a swim.

MAN: Oh, here he goes.

Oh, you're off, are you?

[GRUNTING]

Come on, go chase a fish or something.

Oh!

Oh, my God.

Where is he?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Oh, Jesus.

He's in trouble.

GUARD: All right, move it!

-Good on you, Coyote. -He's gonna get hurt.

MAN: Go, Coyote!

[SHOUTING]

He's frozen.

He's got him!

Get a load of that!

Go!

-WOMAN: Is he okay? -MAN: Give him some room.

-What happened? -Is he all right?

[CHATTER]

-WOMAN: P.C., are you okay? -Yeah... Yeah, I'm all right!

Just leave me.

MAN: Did he hit his head?

Coyote...

Thanks.

[GRUNTING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[RHYTHMIC KNOCK ON THE DOOR]

P.C.?

Oh...

Come in.

Hi.

Hi.

I...just came around to see how you are.

I'm fine.

Fine, why?

Well, I saw what happened today.

Oh.

Nice place.

Aren't you gonna offer me a drink?

Sorry.

Do you wanna get it?

Sure.

Bloody sharks... I hate them.

They ought to net the beaches like in Queensland.

Well, it is the ocean. It's where they live.

The bastards don't deserve to live anywhere.

Why don't you come and sit down?

Here.

Thanks.

You see, the thing is...

I've never come that close before.

Well, they say that a brush with death can help you get over your fears.

Who says I'm afraid?

Everyone's afraid of something.

Not our hero, Coyote.

Yeah, he is a hero. He saved your life.

Yeah, I know.

That was a stupid thing to say.

Coyote, huh?

Where did he get a name like Coyote?

You know, coyote ugly.

Whatever he may be, he's not exactly ugly.

No, no...

They reckon he woke up one morning, with a girl asleep on his arm

and...

Well, she was so ugly, that he decided to chew his arm off

rather than risk waking her up.

That's disgusting.

That's Coyote.

That's better.

What?

You did it just then. It almost looked like a smile.

Some shiner I gave you, huh?

Mmm.

I guess I don't know my own strength.

You want another one for balance?

Okay.

Why are you here?

I was abducted, remember?

Oh yeah... Sorry.

I wanted to make sure you'd be there.

Mmm... Well, you could have asked.

You'd have said no.

Oh, so when does P.C. Simpson take no for an answer?

Never.

Will you stay the night with me?

No.

MUSICIAN 1: So, where is she?

Kidnapped?

Shanghai, maybe.

Well, I reckon if she ain't gonna show, we got the evening to ourselves, right?

-Right. -Yeah.

-So, let's head out. -Right.

Right.

[MUSIC ON HEADPHONES]

Chip, anyone?

Yeah.

[HUMMING IN THE SHOWER]

[VOCALIZING A TUNE]

Hello... Coffee.

[GIGGLING] Thanks.

-I'll put it here, eh? -Yeah.

[SIGHING] Good morning.

What do you feel like doing today?

Teach me to windsurf.

Wind's not right. Some other time.

Oh, come on. Please?

Besides, I spend too much time windsurfing.

-Who says? -Dodge.

Who or what is a Dodge?

An older woman.

How intriguing.

Don't worry. Miss Dodge brushes her teeth with a chainsaw.

[GIGGLING]

So, what are we gonna do?

Something completely different.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

♪ Thought I had it all Worked out

♪ Where I'd be Ten years from now

♪ And who'd be there with me

♪ Ain't it funny How it seems to come Out of the blue

♪ Ain't it funny How you think you know But you never do

♪ Ain't it funny How it always seems

♪ Love is never like

♪ Your dreams

♪ Love is never like

♪ Your dreams

♪ So many faces in my life

♪ Filling empty spaces In the night

♪ But I could never see

♪ Running blindly Through the dark

♪ Building walls Around my aching heart

♪ And I found you here with me

♪ Ain't it funny How it seems to come Out of the blue

♪ Ain't it funny How you think you know But you never do

♪ Love is never like Your Dreams

♪ Love is never like Your dreams

♪ Love is never like

♪ Your dreams

[JADE LAUGHING] You just caught him?

He's barely alive!

-MAN: He's just resting. -JADE: He's dead. Give him to me for half the price.

-Buy the cooked ones. -They're not as fresh.

You said he was dead.

Fresh dead, not boiled dead.

[MUTTERING TO SELF]

Get a kilo of prawns. Green ones, okay?

-Fresh dead they are. -Thank you.

FISHERMAN: Four bucks.

-JADE: Four? -MAN: Four fifty.

[JADE LAUGHING] Get lost.

Here you go.

Hold it.

FISHERMAN: How's that?

Jesus.

Watch out!

Got away from us.

[FISHERMAN BICKERING]

JADE: Hey!

Where are my prawns?

Yeah... I'll get them.

Okay, give us a look at your flounder.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, Lurch, how's the yoga working?

Didn't you hear? Yoga's out. Tai Chi's the game.

Right, Lurch?

It's time and motion.

-Watch this. -Check this out, Lurch.

[SHOUTS]

Hey, where've you been?

-Around. -You haven't been down to the beach for ages, mate.

Well, as you grow up, you develop a different set of priorities.

This is P.C. Simpson talking?

Who had to repeat a year of school because there was a top surf running

on the day of his exams.

Well, the surf's been shithouse.

It's been great.

Yeah, sure.

-I was the last to know. -He needs Tai Chi.

Relaxes the nerves and puts things into perspective.

Shut up, Lurch.

-What'll you have? -No, I won't have a drink.

I told you, I've got to go soon.

Stay with me just for a little while?

Why? The band will kill me if I'm late.

I want you to be with me.

I don't wanna know about...

Please?

All right. One drink.

Scotch?

WOMAN: I'll tell you what, he's lost his nerve.

You got a second, P.C.?

Sure, Howard. Have a mango.

I think I've got it, P.C.

You were right about the viscosity.

That's great, Howard.

Don't fall off your chair or anything.

You want to see it? I modified the nose rocker.

It made all the difference.

-Well? -Good.

What's wrong, P.C.? Where's all the old enthusiasm?

I don't know, Howard. It just doesn't seem important anymore.

Maybe I'm tired of playing games or something.

That doesn't sound like you, P.C. That sounds like an excuse.

Oh really? Thanks for your opinion, Howard.

Oh... Well...

If you want to discuss the plan...

You know where to find me.

Yeah, okay.

WOMAN: Hello, Mr. Howard.

[JADE STRUGGLING]

Whoa!

[MOANING]

[FRUSTRATED GRUNTS]

Shit!

You're doing it all wrong!

What would you know?

You're on the wrong sort of board to learn on for a start.

Why does it look so easy when you do it?

It takes time and practice.

[FRUSTRATED GROWLING]

Bloody shit thing!

But, you're fighting it!

You can't fight the wind or you'll lose every time.

You've got to try to go with it.

Yeah, well why don't you go with it?

I'm not exactly dressed for it.

Oh, come on, Mr. Three-sixty. Why don't you put your board where your mouth is?

Come on!

Right.

It's all yours.

Okay.

-I'll show you beach start. -Beach start.

Now...

-You hold the sail like this. -Right.

When you jump on,

try to keep the mast and your weight forward,

pulling with your back hand.

And you start to move.

Like this.

-See? -Oh yeah, I see.

How do you get it to go faster?

Lean your weight out

and keep shedding in till the sail is set at the maximized height

of the wind direction.

Hi!

Whoo-hoo!

ANNOUNCER: Now the twentieth round of the third competition on Trigg Beach.

The top 25 competitors will qualify for the World Classic.

P.C., you gotta sign up, mate.

Don't forget, it's just the semis, so save yourself for the World Classic.

-You seen Jade? -Jade? Forget Jade.

The only one you gotta watch is Coyote.

Yeah, P.C. Kill the bastard.

Take it easy The guy saved my ass.

I'm only saying you could kill him in the World Classic.

ANNOUNCER: Good performance by Bullard...

Look, you got nothing to worry about.

Coyote's just not that good, mate.

ANNOUNCER: Here's Coyote Philips, with the sail.

He's been performing really well the past couple of days.

He's certainly proves his recent trip to Hawaii.

Coyote has won the last three competitions on the east coast.

He's a true professional and leaves nothing to chance.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

ANNOUNCER: What a performance by Coyote.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING] [ANNOUNCER SPEAKING]

ANNOUNCER: The judges have seated him in league three.

A convincing win by Coyote Philips.

[CHEERING] [ANNOUNCER SPEAKING]

ANNOUNCER: Better luck next time...

With that brilliant performance,

Coyote is in the top seat in the World Classic.

Next up, the hot global favorite, P.C. Simpson.

-Hey! -That's us, mate.

-Go, P.C. -ANNOUNCER: He's got a strong following.

However, he's been absent lately.

[WHISPERING] Hey, put this tape on.

[INDISTINCT]

ANNOUNCER: Looks like Coyote has really got him worried.

Given his past performances, I think he can take him down.

[ JAWSMUSIC]

[ JAWSMUSIC]

[LAUGHING]

-Don't let them get to you. -Meat heads.

[ JAWSMUSIC]

-Okay, you're up. -Strut your stuff, mate.

-Give them heaps. -[CHEERING ON]

LURCH: Concentrate your energies.

ANNOUNCER: One of our top windsurfers...

Go for it!

[CHEERING]

[CROWD CHANTING] P.C., P.C...

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING]

[CROWD CHATTERING]

[DOOR OPENING]

Hi.

Mmm... Nice evening.

It won't last. There's a big low coming.

Great, so we'll stay home and get drunk.

What's that for?

The semis.

I lost.

I know.

Where were you?

-Working. -Oh, of course.

So, why are we celebrating?

Who the hell says only winners can celebrate?

You think I'm a loser now, right?

What do you think?

I know I could thrash Coyote in the right wind.

Oh...

The wind was wrong.

He was cheating, you know.

Blind Freddy could have seen it. He dropped in on me three times.

Well, I guess it's a tough sport.

Yeah, all right.

So I've had a little turn of luck or something.

Superstitious crap.

Crap, is it?

You know, it seems kind of strange to me...

Everything is going just great till you come along,

all of the sudden, I'm surfing like a bloody clown.

Okay, would you kindly punch me in the face and then let up?

If Howard had just had the board finished, I might have had an edge, but...

Howard?

You mean the poor guy who stays up all night, designing toys for you?

Neglecting his job so that P.C. Simpson will look hot on the day.

You're blaming Howard now?

I was saying, if Howard had the board finished.

Okay, yeah... If, if, if...

If it isn't the wind to blame, it's the surf.

If it isn't the surf to blame, it's the sharks.

-Or the board or Coyote or me... -Go ahead...

It never even occurs to you that whenever something goes wrong in P.C.'s life,

there's only one person who's always there.

[EXHALING]

Look, P.C...

I like you a lot.

You've got everything in the world going for you.

But I just don't like this side of you.

I want a relationship with a man, not...

Not a little brat who's gonna throw his dummy in the dirt

when everything doesn't go exactly his way.

Fine.

Fine.

Then fuck off.

Okay.

[DOOR CLOSING]

[SMASHING]

[CAR DRIVING AWAY]

[BEEPING]

ALARM CLOCK: It's now six o'clock.

[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING LUIGI BOCCHERINI'S MINUETTO]

Oh, God.

[DISTORTED BUZZING SOUNDS]

DISTORTED VOICE: Six... Six...

Shit.

MESSAGE MACHINE: Hi, this is Jade.

Jade, hi. I'm glad I called you.

If you'd like to leave a message after the beep,

[BEEPING]

[BEEPING]

[GRUMBLING]

Eight...

Seven... Six...

Five...

Four...

[GASPS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

-The bird called Kathy... -It's cute.

Grab it.

-Don't worry, lady. -Come on.

Good boy, come on.

-Here you go. -Come on, birdie.

MAN: Come on, come one...

WOMAN: Don't be silly.

Hi hate to trouble you, Stewart, but Stewart Senior is on the war path about...

The production report.

He wants you to refine it.

Hell...

That's three reports I've got to get through today.

Yeah, okay. Leave it with me.

You've got it. You've had it for a week.

[PARROT SCREECHING]

Right... Any idea what I might have done with it?

[PARROT SCREECHING]

The annual report. It has to be proofed today.

Not today... Thanks... No way.

Today... Mr. Simpson's orders.

Look...

I'll be back in a little while, okay?

-What about those reports? -They'll keep.

Yes, but will your father?

[PARROT SCREECHING]

♪ Ain't it funny How it seems to come Out of the blue

♪ Ain't it funny How you think you know But you never do

♪ Ain't it funny How it always seems

♪ Love is never like

♪ Your dreams

♪ Love is never like

♪ Your dreams

♪ Love is never like

♪ Your dreams

-Thanks for working late. -Don't mention it.

[KNOCK AT THE DOOR]

-Working back? -Yeah.

How are you going on that production report?

It'll be on your desk tomorrow, okay?

It's a week overdue. That's not really...

Look, I'm sorry.

When is this World Classic?

What's that got to do with it?

You're good when you've got people supporting you...

Your fast, efficient...

You're unconventional sometimes, but capable.

Always capable.

Until now.

What's going on?

Nothing's going on.

If you're getting behind...

Dad, will you get off my back?

Geez, everybody is hassling me.

Wanna talk about it?

[PAPER CRUMPLING]

Whether you want to talk or not, I think it's about time we had a quiet word.

Crikey, I slipped behind one lousy report.

Five lousy reports, not to mention the billings takeover.

Ease up, will you, Miss Dodge?

Outside office hours, you can play whatever game you please

but Simpson Engineering is your father's game

and here, you play by his rules.

His rules?

All he ever thinks about is Simpson bloody Engineering.

When's he ever taken an interest in my life?

How would you know if he did?

He just asked you when the contest was and you assumed he was hassling you.

Why else would he mention it?

Maybe he's interested in you.

Oh, please.

You don't know shit from shoe polish, do you?

Do you remember the Bells Beach Competition in '83?

You just took off and left me to cover for you?

That's okay, that's fine. That's what I do... Cover for people.

Do you know where your father was that weekend?

How would I know? I was at the Bells.

So was he and if you'd been interested in anybody but yourself

you might have noticed him there.

Well, he never told me that.

It's not his way.

You should know, you're both the same.

He was asking about the competition because he wants you to do your best

and he was worried that you had too much work.

-That's not how I took it. -You can take it from me, that's how it was meant.

No wonder you're having trouble with your love life.

That's got nothing to do with this.

It's got everything to do with this.

How can you expect to come to terms with a woman

and have a stable relationship, when you...

you can't even communicate with your own father?

What do you mean?

When was the last time you asked him how things were going?

I don't know.

You see?

You don't consider other people. You don't give a stuff about their needs.

You're focused on P.C. and to hell with everyone else.

Stewart...

Yes?

Stewart...

You've got something eating away inside of you.

Whatever it is, it's unfinished, isn't it?

Well, finish it.

Once and for all.

Do you read me or shall I spell it out?

I read you.

Good.

[PARROT SQUEAKING]

[PARROT TALKING]

G'day.

I see you ended up with the bird.

Yeah.

Fine pets, galahs.

Very affectionate.

And intelligent.

So, how's the old clanker coming along?

It's looking really good.

I remember when you used to let me sit behind the wheel.

Yeah.

You know, I spent two years just tracking down this windscreen surround.

Now...

Well...

Nearly finished.

What'll you do then?

To tell you the truth, I don't know.

So, how'd you finally solve that problem you had with the supercharger?

[SIGHING]

It's kind of a long story.

I've got time, Dad.

Hmm?

Come have a beer.

Well...

First of all, I thought it was...

A bearing of some sort...

Then... [EXPLAINING CAR PROBLEM]

[CHUCKLING]

Hi, guys.

is Jade around?

Don't think so.

Any idea where I can find her?

No.

Hey, I know you. I've seen you on the cover of... You're...

P.C. Simpson.

-Yeah... Right. -Listen, will you tell Jade I was looking for her?

-Sure. -Thanks.

Tell me something, P.C.

What's that?

Where are we?

Shelter Records, man.

Thank God for that.

Tell Jade I stopped by, okay?

Sure thing, P.C.

Sure thing.

Who's P.C. Simpson?

Racecar driver.

Oh.

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

It's not good enough, Howard.

Well, hell. What are you gonna do with it, P.C.?

-I'm not sure we can do any better. -You can do it better.

I knew you'd say that.

He's right, Howard.

Why don't we construct the mast in carbon fiber?

-Really beef up the strings. -Yep.

Of course I've thought of carbon fiber, but it's too expensive.

There's no sense in doing something half-assed.

Besides, I'm beginning to think there's a market for these things.

Of course, if we're using carbon fiber, there's no problem.

No problem.

Hey, be careful with that. That's high-potency stuff.

You give your board a hot coat of that the night before the contest.

-All right? -Yep.

It's like superglue. We had a slight embarrassment with it yesterday.

Coming... [GRUNTING]

HOWARD: That's right...

[DISCUSSING SAIL CONSTRUCTION]

[DISCUSSING SAIL CONSTRUCTION] Get maximum lift...

-Right. -Right.

[DISCUSSING SAIL CONSTRUCTION]

That's great!

[DISCUSSING SAIL CONSTRUCTION]

-All right! -How's it going?

This is a rough beach, P.C.

That's why we're here!

Check out those rocks!

Look, P.C., we know it's strong. You know how to do this.

Today we test, tomorrow we win.

Hey, that's P.C.

All right, if there's any trouble at all,

just give the signal and we'll pluck you out with the chopper.

-Got it. -Stand by.

Watch out for the fish.

Howard, those bloody fish better watch out for me.

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

ANSWERING MACHINE: Hi, this is Jade.

-Hi. -I'm not here at the moment,

but if you'd like to leave a message after the beep,

I'll try and get straight back to you.

[BEEP]

Jade, it's P.C.

I got your album. It's a winner. Congratulations.

Listen...

I'm really sorry about what happened between us.

I...

Well, I don't know what else to say except...

I miss you.

And I've thrown my dummy away.

So, if you're not too busy getting famous, maybe you'd like to get together soon...

[BEEP]

Bugger it.

Good, good.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Five to ten on Peel.

Five?

You are what you eat.

Raw fruit and vegetables, nothing else.

Yeah, you're pretty raw, Lurch.

The real deal.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

MAN: What's she doing here?

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

I'd like to place a hundred dollars on P.C. Simpson.

P.C...

It's your money, lady.

Hey!

Coyote says he's got something in his pocket he wants to show you.

It's not polite to turn down a gentleman.

Oh, he's tough. He can handle it.

And what'll I tell Coyote?

Just tell him to chew his arm.

[LAUGHTER]

You know, Rabbit, she knows something.

She said it... "Three-sixty."

P.C.'s not that bad.

I always reckoned he could give Coyote a run for his money.

Hmm...

P.C.'s hot...

Yeah, but how hot?

A hundred bucks at a hundred to one?

Shit!

MAN: A hundred to one P.C., A hundred to one P.C.

Mate, twenty bucks on P.C.

I have five on P.C.!

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

MAN: Eighteen bucks on P.C.

-[WHISPERING] There it is. -What a ripper...

Shh!

-RATSO: This way. -[CLATTERING, CAT MEOWING]

[PHONE RINGING]

-Hello. -Can I speak with P.C. Simpson?

Speaking.

WOMAN: I'm ringing from the judge's committee.

The venue for the World Classic has been changed to Mangera.

Mangera? What about Trigg?

It was a toss up.

The caravans and news crews were already positioned at Mangera,

-so that fixed it. -Mangera... Right. Thanks for ringing.

-Sure thing. -Thanks.

ANNOUNCER: Advise all parents to keep children well back from the water's edge...

Keep your children away from the water.

MANGLES: [MOUTH FULL] P.C.!

What the hell are you doing?

Yeah... P.C.

Listen, we got quite a little problem here.

-We're stuck. -Put that down right now, you bastards.

That's the problem, you see. We can't.

Help us out, will you, mate? Mangles has to take a piss.

[MOUTH FULL] Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

I'd like to help you out, guys, but I gotta go.

Stick with it, eh?

-P.C.! -[MOUTH FULL] Wait!

-[MUFFLED SPEECH] -Shut up, Mangles.

RATSO: P.C., do us a favor, mate!

ANNOUNCER: We have a beautiful day. Conditions couldn't be better.

The first event is the course racing.

The waves are starting to build, so we should see some exciting rides

in the wave performance section.

This course racing event has attracted some of the largest seals we've seen in some time.

There's a big variation in equipment out there.

Some production boards, but the majority are custom.

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING]

Camera three, zoom in on the bunnies.

Closer, closer... That's it.

Camera three!

Come on, fellas. He's over here. Let's get him.

Excuse me, excuse me...

I'm standing here with Coyote Philips, leading contender for the world title.

Coyote, we've just been talking to Tom Gilbert,

who reckons this P.C. Simpson is a real threat.

-What do you think? -[CHUCKLES]

I take that to mean you disagree then.

You reckon you got this one all set up then do you mate?

Well, there he goes, ladies and gentlemen.

Give me some beach cover.

Some beach cover someone.

[ANNOUNCER LISTING COMPETITORS]

-Hi, Jade. -Hi, have you seen P.C.?

Not yet, but plenty of time. His heat is not for another twenty minutes.

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING]

ANNOUNCER: They're off! Down to their boards and out to the first mark.

It's the orange one, you can see slightly to the right about 300 meters out.

It's the start to a remarkable course.

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING]

It's a pretty high leap and some have been having trouble getting up through the break.

Oh, what a shame.

It looks like a broken mast...

It looks like Peter Ride is in the lead and Bob Simmons a close second.

-What you looking at? -P.C. It's his championships.

ANNOUNCER: Local Jimmy Barnes, only thirteen...

Young for this sort of competition.

Hey, give us a look.

Robbie Nash was only fourteen when he won his first world championship.

Where's P.C.?

[RADIO PLAYING]

RADIO: 32 degrees, remaining fine. We've got some strong breezes.

And just to fill you in on what's happening, we're doing a live

coverage of the action at Trigg Beach.

Trigg?

Competitors around the world are battling it out for the World Classic.

Will the contestants for heat four please assemble behind the judges' dais?

In heat four, the riders are not very evenly matched.

It should be a runaway win for McTavish.

The wind direction has changed slightly, but the angle is still very good.

-Hi. -Oh, hi.

Got any idea where he is?

We've seen some terrific performances and the best is yet to come.

[SHEEP BLEATING]

[SHEEP BLEATING]

[DOG BARKING]

Whoa!

-Where's P.C.? -He must be coming soon.

ANNOUNCER: It's almost impossible to get through the shore break.

I hope he's all right.

I'd...

I'd like to see you all in the boardroom.

ANNOUNCER: Watson's out of his league here...

He lacks the form and style that McTavish...

Wow, what a great start off.

He's certainly surprising us with his flare.

NICK: "Gimme, gimme, gimme...

"All your love.

"Tell it, tell it, tell it to the stars above."

Beautiful. Shakes me up, Nick.

-I got a verse. -Yeah, right.

"Nights that's cool...

"and days that's muggy..."

Good, good...

"Make, make, make, make, make me feel...

"huggy."

Huggy?

All right, smart ass.

You got a better rhyme for muggy?

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Buggy.

-Yeah. -Good one.

Buggy, that's great.

ANNOUNCER: Competitors are preparing their boards for the next competition.

How's he doing? Has he had his first heat yet?

Well, sir, he...

That's right, he...

He what? He what?

He hasn't exactly shown up yet.

Hasn't shown up?

Why not?

[HORNS HONKING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[HORNS HONKING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Whoa!

[CHEERING]

Yeah, but I'm sure he's on his way.

Well, he better get a move on. He's about to miss his elimination heat.

Repeat... Last call for all competitors in heat seven.

Well, can't you just move him to a later heat or something?

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

Sorry? What do you mean, sorry?

-He's the all time favorite! -P.C. Simpson has failed to show

and has been automatically disqualified.

[CHEERING]

P.C. Simpson disqualified.

-A lot of disappointed people here today. -Disqualified?

P.C.'s got a very big following.

RABBIT: Oh, come on!

Give him a break! Just another three minutes.

What's it to you?

[SCOFFING] Gee.

-Cut to camera four. -You sure? Three is back.

Cut to camera four.

REPORTER: Good evening, Steve.

It appears that Coyote Philips is performing superbly out there.

And I think he has this ride...

Without P.C. Simpson running, looks like Philips will take the crown.

He's gotta be around here somewhere.

It looks like we have a winner by default.

What do you reckon has happened, Rabbit?

It has just been brought to my attention that a rider has come into the field

who is not in the competition.

He is not supposed to be in the performer's area...

Wait, that's him!

It's him!

Camera...

Two.

Hey, who's that?

-Where? -There, on camera one.

Camera four, pan in on the new guy.

-Who is that? -I don't know.

He's not here.

I don't know what he's doing out there but it sure looks great.

Look! Look, it's P.C.!

Where?

Let the judges be reminded he's not in the running.

He failed to show at the start...

He's clearly putting in a better performance, disqualified or not.

Hey, Coyote, you bastard!

Move over!

See that?

You've lost your form, mate!

Give me a wide shot on camera four.

Go.

[CHEERING]

Coming for a loop, and...

He's down... Completely caught up by the wave.

get a load of that.

Did you see that?

He's fine!

And...look! He does a three-sixty with a perfect landing!

[CHEERING]

-A perfect, complete, landing.-He did it, mate!

He did it!

[APPLAUDING]

[CHEERING]

[ECSTATIC CHEERING]