Original subtitles

Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?

Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

Before midnight is done, their plan will be unfurled. By the dawning of the sun,

they'll take over the world.

There's Pinky and the Brain, there's Pinky and the Brain. Their twilight

campaign is easy to explain.

To prove their mouthy worth, they'll overthrow the earth.

There's Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,

1805. Napoleon is at the height of his powers. All of France awaits his

victorious return from Austria.

You want the full treatment, madame?

Oui. I must look fantastic for Napoleon's return.

Will it hurt?

Very much.

Napoleon, Napoleon.

I do not cheer Napoleon, Pinky. I scorn him. He is a lucky amateur.

Who's about to take over the world before you do?

Please, Pinky, spare me.

Three months from now, he'll be sweeping the sewers with a bunch of sticks while

we will control the world.

Oh, right. Forgot. Sorry.

Should not wash your hair for three months.

Oh, so soon?

Gone at last, obsequious buffoons.

Right outside.

No.

Obsequious.

Pinky, do you have any idea what obsequious means?

No, but it sounds squishy.

Oh, I love squishy.

Careful, Pinky. Someone might mistake you for a career rodeo clown.

When Napoleon returns to Paris, all of France will celebrate with rich, heavy

meals topped off with the country's most popular dessert, crepe suzette. And as

part of tonight's plan, Pinky, I have altered the recipe for crepe suzette to

make it highly explosive by adding one more ingredient. Do you know what that

is? Um, little bits of granite?

Oh, yeah. Little bits of granite. Mmm, nummy.

No, Pinky. The secret ingredient is nutmeg.

It will turn the flaming dessert into a wildly explosive device.

Then, as crepes are lit all over the country, the resultant fiery chaos will

provide us with ample time to seize control.

Pinky?

Brain, have you ever noticed when you poke your finger way down into your

button, it makes your ears pop?

Zod!

The good news for you, Pinky, is that I depend on your help.

What's the bad news, Brain?

I depend on your help.

Now start running.

I'm inside the crepe.

The nutmeg, Pinky.

Right.

Don't add the nutmeg.

Don't?

Furthermore, in preparation for Napoleon's return...

The streets must be cleared of all undesirables. Rebel rouses,

In fact, anybody that looks really weird.

Except you.

Bah! Off the streets.

And we need a new banner for the palace entrance.

Welcome home, Shottie.

That will never do.

But he is a tiny little man.

Never say that. He hates that.

That was brilliant.

Oh, no, no.

How are we going to make enough of these for the whole country?

First things first.

There.

I am renewed.

Pinky, give a man a fish and he'll eat a meal.

Teach him to fish and he'll eat for life.

Oh, Pinky, teaching.

We will teach the recipe to others at the cooking school, and then they will

us in conquering the world.

All right.

Then fish in.

Oh, I am so bored with slamming dessert class.

Bourgeois.

Slamming desserts never change.

Bourgeois class.

I am Monsieur Jean -Jacques Jean -Jean -Jean. I will be your substitute teacher

for the evening. Today, students, we shall cook crepe Suzette. However, in

of Napoleon's return, we shall change the recipe.

Change the recipe?

Finally, something new.

It's perfect.

Oh, thank you, monsieur.

Like them.

At the feast of Napoleon's return, my students, remember this.

Nutmeg shall cover this crepe suzette as Napoleon's rule shall cover the earth.

And once having said this... Add the nutmeg!

No, no, not...

Brain?

Brain?

Oh, God, Brain. Are you all right?

Once my bones have healed, Pinky, remind me to hurt you.

Right.

Oh,

cheer up, Brain.

It could be worse.

How, Pinky? Well, we could be two cantaloupes that nobody bought and be

rotten and smelly in the back of the market.

Funny how that doesn't cheer me up.

No, Pinky, I'm afraid we've lost our students and with it our chance at world

domination. Monsieur, monsieur.

Oh, we are your eternal disciples, monsieur.

You're all right.

More than all right. You have restored our faith in cooking as an expression of

anarchy. Tonight, we will spread your culinary breakthrough to all of France.

Au revoir, master.

The orders are, clear the streets of Rebel Rousers, Revolutionaries, and

that looks really weird, except him.

We

must

be off, Pinky, for our disciples are with us. Nothing can stop us now.

Two really weird -looking little people to prison.

How terribly ironic.

Booty dungeon.

They've ruined my hat.

Ooh, real wood.

Look at him, the pack. Palace of the Loon.

God, Blaine, I just had a great idea.

They should build a huge glass pyramid right in front of that big old building.

That's preposterous, Pinky. They might as well send a London bridge to America.

Monsieur Talleyrand, all is prepared for Napoleon's return.

Everything? Did you put the little mint on his pillow?

Oui, Monsieur Talleyrand.

Bon!

Remember, everyone.

Humor the emperor.

Laugh at his bad jokes.

What, uh... What are you doing that, right? You're right, Pinky. It does make

your ears pop.

To the dungeon.

To the dungeon.

The Emperor.

His Imperial Highness Napoleon has arrived.

Mon Emperor.

He really is tiny.

Hey,

that's a nice dungeon.

Yes. I think I've been underestimating the French.

Bravo, Napoleon!

Bravo, Napoleon!

Bravo! Bravo!

Bravo, Napoleon!

Bravo! Bravo, Napoleon!

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Well, I think so, Blaine. But first you'd have to take that whole bridge

wouldn't you? No, Pinky. They think I'm Napoleon.

Well, that's wrong then, isn't it? No. Um...

Excuse me, slight mistake.

Pinky, no.

Napoleon, are you all right?

Oh, he's all right, but he's not... Excuse that.

Let me explain, Pinky. We want them to think I'm Napoleon, a most fortuitous

shortcut. Oh, but Blaine, do you think you can fool them?

Hmm, it will be difficult.

They're expecting a tiny little megalomaniac who's bent on ruling the

Instead, they have me.

Gentlemen, ladies, thank you for your most kind welcome. I'm happy to be

Napoleon here.

And if you need Napoleon for anything, ask me, for I am him.

And how did you find Austria, my emperor?

Austria? Of course, I...

I... How did I find Austria?

I... Turn left at Switzerland.

Turn left at Switzerland.

Oh, Emperor.

Yeah. Emperor. Emperor Brain.

Who, Pinky? I don't know. Someone who has faith.

Must you be so bizarre?

Well, what do you expect, Brian? We're in France. We aren't just in France,

Pinky. As of today, we are France. And soon, we are the world.

Um, are we the children?

Are you telling me that there is no one in the royal

palace of France... Who knows how to make French toast?

Must I conquer England to get some decent food?

Oh! Ah!

Eh! God, Emperor Brain! That was quite the imperial tantrum, I'm telling you.

Just like the real Napoleon... What

happens when the real Napoleon shows up, Emperor Brain?

A bit louder, Pinky. There's a truffle hunter outside Limoges who didn't quite

hear you.

You mean Armand?

Fear not, Pinky. This is not a detail I've missed.

Behold. This is a list of imperial decrees which I presented this morning.

Buried among them is a decree banishing anyone over the height of eight inches

from entering the country. By the time Napoleon arrives at the border, he won't

be able to get in.

Banished!

Genius, Emperor O 'Brien!

There are times, Pinky, that I question our friendship.

Gentlemen.

I have sad news.

The Emperor is insane.

Oui, but I wanted to say it.

These decrees are outrageous.

Everyone has to be taxed according to height.

Clothes must be washed.

And all cats to be banned from France.

But what will we feed the Taurians?

Gentlemen, I say the Emperor must be permanently dethroned.

Okay with you?

Bon, we will do it at tonight's great celebration.

Everyone who is anyone is here.

Yes, and you as well.

His Majesty, the Emperor Napoleon.

Nice to see you. Glad you could make it.

Hey, Ronnie, how about those Huguenots?

Turn around!

You may not enter!

You're all too tall to enter France!

I think not.

You're my bag.

Oh, what a mailbag, Emperor.

Yeah, thank you. Get used to it.

Before dessert, the Emperor will make a toast.

That is your cue.

Mon Emperor, the guests, in fact, the entire country, await some word from

Madame et Monsieur, I thank you for the celebration of my victorious return to

France and tell you now I plan to conquer the world.

But first, dessert.

Now. Death to all tyrants, sir. Death to all tyrants, sir. He got it, Sir Brian.

I think he means you.

In honor of this august occasion, we present to our emperor a really, really

crepe suzette.

In the words of our teacher, nutmeg shall cover this crepe suzette as

rule shall cover the earth.

Is this a good thing, Emperor Brain? Just call me Brain, Pinky. I believe the

emperor routine nears completion.

What is all this?

We've got a thing down here called the Napoleonic Code, and it says you don't

start the party without me.

Someone's head's going to roll for this, Charlie.

Josephine!

They? A customer?

Not now, Pinky. I'm making plans for tomorrow night.

Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

Tell Pinky, tell Pinky and the brand, brand, brand, brand, brand.