Original subtitles

0 Oh, fuck off.

Lu! Come on.

Emre.

What was it our Müslüm baba always said?

'We're intense people, who feel things deeply.'

Yeah...

- Care for a Gilette? - I'm okay.

I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but it is not your fault.

Women are just untrustworthy dickheads.

But with a cunt. Dickhead cunts.

You were right.

I was naive.

Emre. Remember?

Aslan la vista, baby.

Ferhat, 'Aslan la vista' doesn't mean anything.

It's just bullshit.

Emre, don't cry.

If you start, I'll cry too.

Allah, I'm going to cry.

Wow.

That was quick.

Am I missing something?

Not at all.

There's absolutely nothing wrong.

Should there be?

Emre, why don't you just tell me what's the matter?

- Where have you been? - My work.

Your work.

Always your work.

You've been very busy with work recently, haven't you?

Germany. London.

- Barcelona. - Yeah.

So?

So I'm increasingly wondering...

where you are.

Funny. I keep wondering the same thing about you.

Excuse me?

Where's the Emre I fell in love with?

The Emre from the library.

The Emre who'd always be the first on the dancefloor: 'Fuck it.'

Where are you?

- Is that why you have someone else? - What?

That's not... You're not serious, are you?

Is there someone else?

It certainly looks like it.

I'm pregnant.

- I should be very happy, really. But... - Pregnant?

By me?

God, you're such a dick.

No. Luna.

I kept tripping myself up

time and again

my most sensitive chord had snapped

so I went looking for help in all the wrong places

now here I stand, with a smile that is real

I've come a long way

from close to rock bottom

I made so many mistakes

- how did I ever - Hey, Mum.

let things get this bad?

I'll find my way up

it's not too late yet

Why don't you go play inside?

- Was that necessary? - I was being nice.

Let's go.

Mum...

No, I'm... I'm not sick.

I was just busy, that's all.

Luna?

No, she's working.

No, no need to stop by. Everything's...

No, don't stop by.

Don't stop by, I said.

Okay, nice.

Really nice.

Thanks, Niels.

All set and ready to go.

Clear shot. Stand by.

I'm going in.

Can we talk about this later?

Yeah, but...

You're almost here already?

Right. See you in a bit.

Fuck.

Bloody mess.

Hello, Clark Kent.

Accident on the N231. We'll take route B, past the station.

W1 to W2, do you copy?

- W2 to W1, copy that, over. - Luna!

- You're not supposed to be here. - What are you doing?

Oh, Luna. Luna. You came to meet me here.

And I've sent some of my boys down to yours.

What have you done?

I sincerely hope there's no one home.

The other day, at my house, I was sure.

You and I...

- We belong together. - But... I... I never...

- Is that your wife? - No, I...

- This is the voicemail of Imre... - Fuck.

Niels? Do we still have officers watching my place?

Niels?

That's her. That's her, isn't it?

- That's my mother. - I feel no shame anymore.

- You're right. - Yeah?

I'll send my mother home.

And then we can do our thing in peace.

But first...

- Oh, Emre. Naughty boy. - Wait here.

Don't come out, okay? I'll be right back.

So I know you'll be back.

I've long thought about what I'd do to that husband of yours.

I told my boys: Turn him into Adana kebab.

Burn him to a crisp.

Oh, shit.

Cooperate now, Lu.

What's this bad timing' shit?

You won't answer your phone and now you want to send me packing?

Hello?

Second target in the house.

Did you guys argue?

No, mum. It's a little bit complicated.

What do you mean, complicated?

Let me clean this up for you.

- Where's your vacuum cleaner? - No, no, no.

- Actually... - What?

You make us some tea. I'll get the vacuum cleaner.

And bin that. Go on.

- Mum. - Tea.

I thought you'd never...

be back.

- Wait, wait. - I'll be right back.

Wat are you doing here?

So cute.

So cute. Yeah, you're so cute.

You're so cute I could eat you up. Just look at you.

You sit down there, why don't you?

Fuck you, you son of a bitch.

Who do we have here? Luna.

Look at that ass.

Juicy little behind.

Auntie Derim?

Auntie Derim.

Behind you. I'm coming. Hang on.

Okay, tie her up.

All this time, you never realised this rat was working for me?

Luna, out.

Luna. Out.

Mum, it's not what it seems. Mum...

Mum...

Mum.

Geez, what is it now? Here, you take this down. Go on.

My god.

What the heck?

Did you think you were rid of me so easily?

Dum-dum bullet hit me, then the hunter ate me...

Ronnie? Can you hear me?

Ronnie?

She's coming with us.

- Guys, that wasn't the plan. - Plans change, Niels. As you well know.

- I trusted you. - Luna, I'm sorry. I didn't...

Niels!

A rat can't be trusted, Luna.

In particular one with gambling debts.

'Baris, help me. How will I pay it all back?'

You should shut the fuck up.

- Your shift has ended. - Niels!

Niels!

- Come on, you. - Niels!

Emre?

Motherfucker!

- Who are you? Kimsin? - What?

There we are. All cleaned up.

All spic and span.

So tell me, son. What is going on?

Luna and I... We're struggling a bit.

So what? We'll find you a much prettier woman.

Mum, please.

Dear son, don't you think I see how things are between you?

This woman has swallowed you whole. You're not happy together.

Your happiness means everything to me, son.

There are plenty more women out there.

I can easily find you a new one, fresh from Turkey.

Mum, will you please shut up about this?

Mum.

Luna is pregnant.

We argued and now I don't know where she is.

Unbelievable, you son of a donkey.

What am I supposed to do with you?

Luna's pregnant and you sit here doing nothing?

- Loser. - What else can I do?

Be a man. Be the pillar of your family.

- Go find your wife. - Okay.

Save your marriage.

Fight for your marriage.

Look at me. Do this for my beautiful bride.

Okay, I will.

- Do it for my grandson. - Grandson?

Of course. A real man begets a son.

Show some balls.

Come on, sugar. Show some balls.

You have big balls. Show 'em.

I'm a man.

A big-balled man.

Why are you still here?

- You fool. Get a move on. - I'm going.

I swear, I'll kill you.

What am I going to do with you, you idiot?

Keep your mitts of my wife.

Keep your mitts...

No.

Your claws.

Your claws?

- Ferhat, I can't talk right now, okay? - Emre...

- Emre, don't hang up. - No.

Did Tamara send you? When did you talk to her?

Who is...? Who the fuck is Tamara?

- Who is Tamara? - No, stop, stop. Okay? Stop.

Is that her? Is that Tamara?

Your wife?

- My ex-wife. - Oh, man.

I also have one.

You won't ever be rid of them.

- Do you have kids? - Two girls.

God doesn't wait to punish.

- You? - I have three boys.

I'm not allowed to see them.

I'm good enough to pay, but I'm not allowed to see them.

Those women. All of them. Fucking dickheads.

- My words exactly. - Yeah?

- They're all fucking dickheads. - Dickheads.

- Man, I'm sorry. - No worries, mate.

201...

Of course.

You can fucking do this.

Will you look at that?

What is going on here?

Shush, shush.

So this is what you do in hotels?

Spreading your legs like that.

For the benefit of this bunch of Freddy Krugers?

You're wearing a mask because you're too ugly?

- Who? Me? - No, my dog.

So what do they call this?

Kinky hip?

That's beyond me, of course. Emre's naive as fuck.

Is he one of us?

No, man. Don't know him.

You all take me for a fool, don't you?

Guess what? I've got internet at home too.

And with a pregnant woman to boot.

My pregnant wife.

And in the presidential suite to boot.

Which one of you is the president here?

Come on then, if you dare. Bunch of cowards.

- What is he saying? - Goddamn cowards.

Who's got the guts to take me on?

Who's got the guts to take me on?

Who's got the guts to take me on?

Sorry. Wrong room.

We found one who's still alive.

I had a feeling that you'd mess up. With that wonderful hobby of yours.

What did they do with her?

Do you have a light?

Where the fuck is Luna? Where is she?

I can't make out what you're saying.

- What are you doing here? - I'm sorry.

Rather be abducted by yourself?

- Emre, calm down. - Calm down? We're about to die.

We're not going to die.

Well, we might very well die.

No...

Sorry. I apologise for dragging you into this.

No. I'm sorry. It's my fault too.

I have to tell you something.

- I have to tell you something too. - No, Emre. Seriously.

I really have to tell you something.

No, seriously. I also really have to tell you something. I'll go first.

I never got that promotion.

- What? - Yeah.

I fucked it up and I didn't want you to think of me as a loser.

So I lied about it.

Then I thought you were cheating on me, so I followed you.

Then, the Teddy cam. And then Harriet.

She is utterly and totally insane.

And now she's at our house. In the closet.

I'm so sorry.

Wait, what?

And she was on our bed for a few seconds. On your side.

It's okay, hon.

I'm a secret agent.

Today, we were extraditing a master criminal: Baris Yilmaz.

And that's landed us here.

- So you're not cheating? - No, of course not.

- So there is no one else? - Emre, I love you.

Why on earth would I cheat on you?

Well, I... You're right.

So that means I am the father...?

- Jesus, Emre. Yes, you're the father. - No, yeah. Right. Thank god.

- What are you doing? - Trying to wrench those tie ribs loose.

Oh, I still have your boyfriend's lighter.

- I mean, your ex. Or... - All right. I get it.

So give it to me.

One, two...

Selamün aleyküm, Emre.

Aleyküm se...?

Is that Baris?

This is the end of the road for you, baby.

- Baby? You're calling me baby? - Shut up.

- You know what you are? - Quiet!

Bro, out in ten minutes. Bring 'em both, okay?

Move it.

No worries, my love. I have an idea. Follow my lead.

I have a plan.

No, love.

Run when I say 'go'.

Run!

You all right?

Wait here.

Go get the car. Who's going to pop them?

Pop us? Oh no, no.

My god, no. Don't pop me. Let my life be free of popping.

Calm down.

But I don't want us to die. Or our baby.

You still have that lighter?

- Give it to me. I'll melt our tie ribs. - Good thinking.

- Okay. Do me first. - Okay.

I'll do you first.

- This feels really good. - Hurry up.

Watch out, he's coming.

Oops.

Honey.

- Honey, are you all right? - Yeah, I'm all right.

- Are you okay, hon? - Yeah, I'm good.

Emre, leave it. Be a good boy now.

Luna.

Baris, we can solve this differently.

You know what you can do?

You can shut the fuck up or I'll waste that bitch of yours.

My bitch? You keep your mitts off my claws.

What?

I mean, hands off my wife. Off my wife and my child.

Seriously? Was he the best you could find? He's not a real man.

He's the best man I could wish for.

- You're half an ass. - I'm an ass? Look who's talking.

- I'll shove this thing right up yours. - Whoa, have you no shame?

You know what? Let's do this man to man.

What do you mean? You'll need two men for that.

Who do you think you are? Man to man.

Come on, then.

Get your ass over here and pay attention.

Watch me mess up that bitch of yours. Enjoy this.

Aslan la vista, baby.

So much for your career as a pianist.

Oh, my god. This was so sexy.

I love you.

I love you too.

Fuck you.

Oh, I still have this.

Not that you need it. You're perfectly capable of looking after yourself.

Agent Aslan.

Sorry, but why is he still here?

That's Chico. He's my mate.

I mean, how many darts does he have?

- And where do we know him from? - Anonymousletterstomyex.com

- I also had a Tamara. - Except his Tamara is called Jessica.

Bloody Jessica. Bloody Tamara.

That's me. Yes.

- Still wearing that ugly llama belt? - Hey, show some respect.

It has a special meaning for us.

- Not you, Dylan. I'm talking about... - You and Luna?

- I just thought... Oops, silly me. - Anyhow. Duty calls.

- Later. - Later, mate.

My ex was also called Jessica.

What ex, man? You've never seen pussy.

Right, I'll be there at eight. Thanks.

- Where are you going? - Berlin.

Some art dealer's got 4 million worth of cocaine hidden in his paintings.

So tonight I am Jeanne, interested in buying art.

- Go get 'em before all hell breaks loose. - You know me.

Hon. Aren't you forgetting something? Here, catch.

No, don't throw it. My love.

Bye, Mr. Aslan.

Bye, Mrs. Aslan.

Bye, my lovely. My little lion.

Tamara, dearest wife of mine

why did you have to leave me behind?

Tamara, I miss you so

I miss you

but you've pledged your cunt to another

I even asked your daddy for your hand

your blessing, Dad

I'd die for you, Tamara

you were only in it for the money

you screwed me over, Tamara

Tamara, oh, Tamara

you cheated on me

and now I'm feeling down

Tamara, oh, Tamara

you cheated on me

spreading for a Caribbean guy

Tamara, oh, Tamara you cheated on me

and now I'm feeling down

Tamara, oh, Tamara you cheated on me

you gave it up for a Moroccan

oh Tamara, you broke my heart

I thought I'd finally found a Dutch girl who could cook

I wanted to show you my love

but you just wanted it up the ass

Tamara, oh, Tamara you cheated on me

and now I'm feeling down

Tamara, oh, Tamara you cheated on me

spreading for a Caribbean guy