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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,719 --> 00:00:12,260 Hey, yeah, are you busy? 2 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,100 Can you talk? 3 00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:17,360 I just 4 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:23,360 got back from the doctor 5 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:30,080 Okay Um, you know, I just 6 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:34,960 haven't been feeling well lately just really tired and I thought it was just 7 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,520 stress from school and work. 8 00:00:38,860 --> 00:00:40,300 Sure, sure, sure. 9 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:47,100 Well, I had some tests done and I didn't... I don't know how to say this, 10 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,820 I'm fucking dying. 11 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,980 What, have you got AIDS or something? 12 00:00:54,580 --> 00:00:55,660 I wish. 13 00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:03,740 No, I'm serious. I'm dying. Like, I have three to six months tops and there's 14 00:01:03,740 --> 00:01:05,060 nothing I can do. There's no... 15 00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:09,660 Surgical options, there's no real treatment option. At this point, I'm 16 00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:10,660 utterly fucked. 17 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,660 Are you being serious right now? 18 00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:17,740 I have a fucking heart attack, man. You're like my best friend. 19 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:22,200 You're the only person I could even imagine asking what to do right now. 20 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,240 Well, did you tell Mom and Dad? 21 00:01:25,780 --> 00:01:26,780 Fuck no. 22 00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:29,120 I can't tell Mom and Dad. Well, you can't tell Mom and Dad. 23 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:34,120 With everything that's going on right now, no, they're already too fucking 24 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,120 stressed out. 25 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,760 No, please don't. Let's just keep this between us right now, okay? 26 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:41,660 Well, what should I do? 27 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:49,760 Well, I know this might sound even crazier than me 28 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,120 telling you that I drank that down. 29 00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:52,540 I guess. 30 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:58,060 You know that I'm really bad with girls. 31 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,080 Okay. 32 00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:04,480 I don't want to die a fucking virgin. 33 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:09,780 I don't... I can set you up with one of my friends. I know they would... Oh, 34 00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:10,780 God, that means... Sure. 35 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:16,920 Thank you, but let's be real. Like, your friends are idiots. And, no offense, 36 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,740 they're also not, like, they're not even half as pretty as you are. 37 00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:23,460 You're gorgeous. 38 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,960 Well, thanks. 39 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,280 And that's kind of what's sort of, like, leading me... 40 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:40,710 I know this sounds absolutely insane, but I trust you, and I've known you my 41 00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:41,710 whole life. 42 00:02:42,690 --> 00:02:47,550 Is there any way that maybe you could, um, 43 00:02:47,610 --> 00:02:50,450 take my virginity? 44 00:02:50,650 --> 00:02:52,070 You... Wow. 45 00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:58,150 Um... Nobody has to know anything. 46 00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:02,570 And just think, you know, I'll be dead in a few months. 47 00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:08,130 So it's kind of like, I'll be taking it to my grave, and now, right now, I'm 48 00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:13,730 still at least healthy enough to be able to do it. Who knows, in a month from 49 00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:19,290 now, I could be in a hospice care or something, and my dick will never work 50 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:20,290 again. 51 00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:28,830 And there's nothing else that... Well, I'm too old for Make -A -Wish, okay? 52 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,940 It's not like I'm going to be able to get Batman to come and fucking hang out 53 00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:36,180 with me and take me for a ride in the Batmobile, you know? I can't do that. 54 00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:38,220 Snoop Dogg is always too busy to return my calls. 55 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,100 You know, this is like... He's a busy man. 56 00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:43,360 I know. He's sipping on gin and juice. 57 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:49,280 It's... I guess that's a good point, but... Please. 58 00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:52,000 It's kind of considered like a last request. 59 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:56,620 And you are pretty much, like, perfect. 60 00:03:57,260 --> 00:03:58,420 I can't even imagine. 61 00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:03,290 Another girl that would be, like, half as hot as you. You're, like, the hottest 62 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:04,410 little sister in the world. 63 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,370 Oh, my gosh. 64 00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:07,450 I know. 65 00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:11,070 They told me that this could also be a possible side effect. 66 00:04:11,470 --> 00:04:17,230 I might be a little crazy right now, but this really could help. Please, please. 67 00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:21,810 And you'd have to... Thank you so much. Thank you. 68 00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:25,670 Okay, so, like, what should I do then? 69 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,340 Should we take off our clothes? 70 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,860 Right? I told you, I'm really bad with girls. 71 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,720 I pretty much only watch porn, and none of that's realistic. 72 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,000 At least that's what they tell me on Dr. Phil. 73 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,060 I guess. 74 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:52,080 Okay. Take your pants off, maybe? 75 00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:55,600 I'm wearing shorts, but I'll take them off for you. 76 00:04:57,740 --> 00:04:59,300 Are you going to get naked too? 77 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,280 I guess. 78 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:06,600 I owe you so much. This is so great. 79 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,020 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 80 00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:12,400 I'm going to leave you everything I have in my will. 81 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,640 For some reason, that's not helping right now. 82 00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:22,980 Well, just tell me what I need to do to just, you know, pretend I'm... 83 00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:27,070 I don't know, pretend I'm, like, somebody else, okay? Just pretend I'm 84 00:05:27,070 --> 00:05:28,070 else. 85 00:05:33,050 --> 00:05:37,750 Uh... Sit down, maybe? 86 00:05:38,490 --> 00:05:39,490 Okay, okay. 87 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:47,270 Um, so do you want me to, like, lie down, or... I can... I don't know, 88 00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:48,450 like, what you... 89 00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:52,490 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 90 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:56,430 I know it's weird, but you can... Wow. 91 00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:04,930 That's what it feels like to have a girl touch my dick. Wow. This is 92 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:09,710 really... That shirt is really making me want to get hard. 93 00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:15,230 It's cool. It's good. I like it. Don't bring my shirt into this right now. I'm 94 00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:16,630 sorry. I like it. 95 00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:19,830 It's good work. It'll make me fuck you. 96 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,660 And you're going to make fun of my shirt? No, I like it. I just, I want to 97 00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:26,820 where I can buy one. It's my favorite shirt. I like it. So, okay. 98 00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,180 Oh. 99 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,320 Oh, God. 100 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:36,620 Oh. 101 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,480 Oh, fuck. 102 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:43,540 Oh, God, I can't believe you're doing that. 103 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,600 Don't talk about it. Jeez. 104 00:06:48,270 --> 00:06:50,710 I'm sorry. I just feel so good. 105 00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:53,950 I've only ever done that to myself. 106 00:06:54,970 --> 00:06:55,970 Oh. 107 00:06:58,470 --> 00:06:59,470 Oh, God. 108 00:07:00,950 --> 00:07:01,950 Yeah. 109 00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:12,150 Do you think maybe? 110 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,240 I guess if it gets this over any faster. 111 00:08:38,669 --> 00:08:39,990 I can't believe you're doing that. 112 00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,140 Fuck. 113 00:09:36,650 --> 00:09:37,650 Better than Batman. 114 00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:44,030 Oh God Why are you hard and thinking about Batman? 115 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,250 I like superheroes. 116 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:51,770 Oh Oh Oh 117 00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:59,470 Fuck 118 00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:04,190 oh my god. Oh 119 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,900 Oh, Jesus Christ. 120 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:42,120 Oh, I had no idea. 121 00:11:34,199 --> 00:11:41,180 Shit. Do you think that I could 122 00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:42,360 fuck you now? 123 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,480 I guess. 124 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,120 Okay. 125 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,320 Under that? 126 00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:15,400 Oh, my God. 127 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,160 Oh, is this really happening? 128 00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:21,480 Holy shit. Not if you keep talking about it. 129 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,160 Sorry. 130 00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:26,820 Okay. 131 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,520 Okay. 132 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:32,680 Oh, shit. 133 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,000 Oh, Julian. 134 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,900 Julian. Oh, God. 135 00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:43,659 I'm fucking you. 136 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:44,660 Holy shit. 137 00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:48,360 Oh, that feels so good. 138 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:50,420 Oh. 139 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,220 Oh, it's fucking time. The train's going. 140 00:15:18,380 --> 00:15:19,380 Am I doing this right? 141 00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:21,040 Yeah. Yeah. 142 00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:25,800 I want to be good on my first time. 143 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,040 Yeah. 144 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:49,870 this might be, like, a lot to ask, but I do watch a lot of porn, so do you think 145 00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:51,610 it'd be okay if I fucked you doggy style? 146 00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:58,130 I mean, 147 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,470 I don't want to press my luck or anything, but I feel like I'm doing a 148 00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:07,630 good job, so maybe I could fuck you that way? 149 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:37,590 I'm definitely leaving you my guitar. 150 00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:41,590 Fuck. 151 00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:48,010 Oh, God. 152 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:50,430 Oh, shit. 153 00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:55,590 Oh, shit. 154 00:17:56,650 --> 00:17:58,250 That feels so fucking good. 155 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:03,470 You're not going to tell anybody about this, are you? 156 00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:05,910 Why the fuck? Fuck would I do that? 157 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:07,810 Okay, just double checking. 158 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,560 Did that really just happen? 159 00:25:01,940 --> 00:25:08,680 You look beautiful still. You really do. But I have to 160 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:09,680 tell you something. 161 00:25:09,980 --> 00:25:13,400 I have to confess. I'm not really a virgin. 162 00:25:14,100 --> 00:25:18,920 And I'm not really dying. But thank you for fucking me. What the fuck? Oh my 163 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:19,920 god! 11257