Original subtitles

Make it fast.

Don't want the boys to get wise.

Jees!

Ain't the old bastard a riot when he starts that bull about "turnin' over a new leaf"?

"Not a damn drink on the house," he tells me,

"and all these bums have gotta pay up their room rent beginning tomorrow," he says.

I'm glad to pay up...

tomorrow.

And I know my fellow inmates will promise the same.

They've all a touching credulity concerning tomorrows.

It'll be a great day for them tomorrow, The Feast of All Fools.

And their ships will come in loaded to the gunwales,

with cancelled regrets and promises fulfilled, and clean slates and new leases.

Yeah, and a ton of hope!

Don't mock their faith.

You no respect for religion, you unregenerate Wop?

What does it matter if the truth is that their favoring breeze

will have the stink of nickel whiskey on its breath?

And their sea will be a growler of lager and ale?

And their ships will long since be looted and scuttled, and sunk on the bottom?

The hell with the truth.

The history of the world proves that truth has no bearing on anything.

It's the lie of the pipe dream that gives life to the whole misbegotten mad lot of us,

drunk or sober.

The old Foolosopher, like Hickey calls you.

I suppose you don't fall for no pipe dreams.

No, I don't.

Mine are dead and buried behind me.

What's before me is the fact that death is a fine long sleep.

I'm damn tired, and it can't come too soon for me.

Yeah, just hangin' around, hopin' you croak, ain't you?

Well, I'm bettin' you have a good long wait.

Jees, somebody'd have to take an ax to croak you!

Yeah, it's my bad luck to be cursed with an iron constitution

that even Harry's booze can't corrode.

The old Anarchist wise guy that knows all the answers.

Forget the anarchist part of it.

I'm through with the Movement long since.

I saw that, if men wanted to be safe from themselves,

that would mean they'd have to give up greed.

I wouldn't pay that price for liberty.

So I said to the world, "God bless all here "and may the best man win...

and die of gluttony."

I took a seat in the grand stand of philosophical detachment.

Fall asleep observing the cannibals do their death dance.

Grab another ball, Larry.

You'd never think all these bums had a bed upstairs to go to.

Scared if they hit the hay they wouldn't be here when Hickey showed up,

and they'd miss a couple of drinks.

Me, it's not so much the hope of booze, but I've got the blues.

And Hickey's a great one to make a joke of everything and cheer you up.

Yes, some kidder!

Remember how he works up that gag about his wife when he's cockeyed?

Crying over a picture and then spilling in on you all of a sudden

that he left her in the hay with the iceman?

Yeah, I wonder what's happenin'.

You could set your watch by his periodicals before this.

We always got here a couple of days before Harry's birthday party,

and now he's only got 'till tonight to make it.

Willie sure is on the bottom.

I ain't never seen no one so bad except Hickey on end of a couple of his bats.

It's a great game, the pursuit of happiness.

I don't even know what to do about him.

He called up his old lady's lawyer, like he always does when Willie gets licked.

You remember, they used to send down a private dick to give him the rush to a cure.

But the lawyer tells Harry nix.

The old lady is off of Willie for keeps this time, and he can go to hell.

There's a consolation he hasn't got far to go.

Ahhhh!

It's a goddamned lie!

Nix, nix! Oh, papa!

Hey, you, nix!

Cut out the noise! Oh, Jesus, papa!

Who's that yelling?

Willie, boss, the Brooklyn boys is after him.

Then why don't you give the poor fella a drink and keep him quiet?

Bejees, can't I get a wink of sleep in my own back room?

Listen to the blind-eyed old bastard, would you?

He give me strict orders not to let Willie hang up no more drinks, no matter what...

What's that?

I can't hear ya.

You're a cockeyed liar.

Never refused a drink to anyone needed bad in my life.

Told you to use your judgment!

You're too busy thinkin' up ways to cheat me.

Oh, sure boss, swell chance of foolin' you.

No one never played Harry Hope for a sucker.

No one but everybody.

The least you could do is keep things quiet.

Give me a drink, Rocky.

Harry said it was all right.

God, I need a drink. Then grab it, it's right under your nose.

Thank you.

When!

I didn't say "Take a bath!"

Jees, look!

He's killed a half pint or more!

Leave him be, the poor devil.

A half pint of that dynamite in one swig will fix him for a while, if it doesn't kill him.

All right by me, it ain't my booze.

Who-whose booze?

Give me some!

Where's Hickey?

What time is it, Rocky?

Getting near time to open up.

Time you begun to sweep up in the bar.

Never mind the time.

If Hickey ain't come, it's time Joe went to sleep again.

Hey...

I got a idea!

Say, Larry, what about that young guy, Parritt?

Come look you up last night and rented a room.

He's upstairs asleep.

No hope there, Joe, he's broke.

Me and Rocky know different.

He had a roll when he paid you his room rent.

Didn't he, Rocky?

Yeah, he flashed it like he forgot and then tried to hide it quick.

He did, did he? Yeah.

I figured he don't belong, but he said he was a friend of yours.

He's a liar!

Ah, it's true, his...

his mother and I were friends a few years ago on the coast.

Did you read in the papers about that bombing on the coast where a few people were killed?

Well, the one woman they pinched, Rosa Parritt, is his mother.

They'll be coming up for trial soon, they haven't got a chance.

She'll get life.

I'm telling you all this so you'll know why, if Don acts a bit queer and not jump on him.

He's her only kid.

Why ain't he out there stickin' by her?

Must be a good reason. I get it.

Then what kind of a sap is he to hang on to his right name?

I'm telling you, I don't know.

And I don't want to know!

The hell with the Movement and everybody connected with it.

If there's one thing more than another I can't stand it's the sucker game

you and Hugo calls "Movement."

Reminds me of a damn full argument me and Mose Porter had the other night.

He's drunk and I'm drunker, and he says,

"Socialists and anarchists, we ought to shoot 'em dead."

"Hold on, hold on."

"You talk as if the socialists" "and anarchists was the same thing."

"Anarchist..."

"never works."

"He drinks, he never buys," and if you do ever get a nickel, "he blows it on bombs,

"but he wouldn't give you nothin'.

"So you can go ahead and shoot him.

"But, uh, socialists...

"sometimes he gets a job.

"If he gives 10 bucks, "he's bound by his religion "to split it with ya 50-50.

"So you don't shoot no socialist "while I'm around.

"Of course, if they broke, then they're no-good, bastards, too."

Be God, Joe!

You've got all the beauty of human nature and the practical wisdom of the world

in that little parable.

Sure.

Larry ain't the only wise guy in this dump. Eh, Joe?

Here's your guy.

Hello, Larry.

Hello.

What's up? Thought you'd be asleep.

I couldn't make it, I, uh, thought I might see if you were around.

Well...

sit down and join the bums then.

The rules of the house are that drinks may be served at all hours.

Oh, I get you but, uh, hell, I'm just about broke.

Oh, I know, you guys saw...

You think I have a roll, don't you?

Well, I'll show you you're wrong.

You see? They're all one's.

See, I've got to live on this 'till I get a job.

So you think I made up a phony, don't you?

Well, why the hell would I do that?

Where would I get a roll anyway?

You don't get rich doin' what I've been doin', ask Larry.

You're lucky in the Movement, you get enough to eat.

What's the song and dance about?

We ain't said nothin'.

Oh... Oh, I was just tryin' to put you right.

Hey, I don't want you to think I'm a tightwad.

I'll buy you a drink if you want one.

"If?"

Man, if I don't want a drink, you call the morgue and you tell them.

"Come take Joe's body away, 'cause he sure look dead."

Now gimme the bottle, quick, Rocky, before he changes his mind.

I'll take a cigar when I go in the bar.

What are you havin'?

Oh, nothin', I'm on the wagon.

What's the damage?

15 cents.

That must be some booze.

It's cyanide cut with carbolic acid, to give it a mellow flavor.

Here's luck.

I guess I'll get back in the bar and catch a couple of winks before opening up time.

One-drink guy.

No hope till Harry's birthday party, unless Hickey shows up.

If Hickey do come later, you wake me up if you have to bat me with a chair.

Who's Hickey?

A hardware drummer.

He's an old friend of Harry Hope's and all the gang.

He's a grand guy.

Comes here twice a year regularly on a periodical drunk, and blows in all his dough.

He doesn't run into anyone he knows in his business here.

Oh, yes, that's what I want, too, Larry.

But like I told you last night, I gotta stay undercover.

You did a lot of hinting, but you didn't tell me anything.

Oh, now you're thinking, "This guy has a hell of a nerve.

I haven't seen him since he was a kid."

Well, I've never forgotten you, Larry.

You're the one friend of mother's who ever paid any attention to me.

I remember you used to ask me questions, you took what I said seriously?

I guess I got the feeling in the years you lived with us,

you'd sort-of, you know, taken the place of my old man.

I don't suppose you remember it. Ah, I remember it very well.

You were a lonely, serious little shaver then.

Why didn't they pick you up when they got your mother and the rest?

Oh, I wasn't around.

And, as soon as I heard the news, I went under cover.

You've noticed my glad rags here, well, I will stake to them as a disguise,

and then I, you know, hung around gambling joints and pool halls, and hooker shops.

Places where they wouldn't look for a Wobblie.

By pretending I was a...

a sport.

Anyway, they picked up everybody who was,

you know, really important, so I guess they didn't think about me till afterwards.

Like you say, the cops got them.

The Burns dicks knew every move before hand.

Somebody in the movement must have sold out and tipped them off.

Yeah, it hasn't come out who it was yet, it may never come out.

I guess who it was must've made a bargain with the Burns men to keep him out of it.

Be God...

I hate to believe it'd be any of that crowd.

All I know, they were damned fools!

As stupidly greedy for power as any capitalist they attacked,

but I'd have sworn there wasn't a yellow stool pigeon among 'em.

Yeah, they'd sworn that, too, Larry.

I hope his soul rots in hell, whoever it is.

Yes, so do I.

Well, then what made you leave the Movement, Larry? Was it on mother's account?

You asked me why I quit the Movement.

I had a lot of good reasons.

One was myself, another was my comrades.

And the last was that breed of swine called "men in general."

As for myself...

I'd become convinced after 30 years of devotion to the cause

that I wasn't made for it.

I was born condemned to see both sides of a question.

And when you're damned that way...

the questions multiply until the end, they're all questions and no answers.

As history proves, to be a worldly success at anything especially revolution,

you've got to wear blinders like a horse and only see what's straight ahead of you.

As for my comrades in the great cause,

I've thought about them as Horace Walpole did about England when he said he could love it,

if it wasn't for the people in it.

Well, that's why I quit the cause.

You see, it had nothing to do with your mother.

Well, but I bet mother always thought it was on her account.

I mean, you know her, Larry, to hear her go on sometimes

you'd think she was the Movement.

That's a hell of a thing to say after what happened to her.

Oh, no, it wasn't sneering.

I said the same thing to her lots of times, you know, to kid her.

I know I shouldn't now, but I keep forgetting she's jail, she...

seemed so real to me, she's always been so free.

I don't want to even wanna think about it.

So what have you been doing all these years since you le...

ah, you know, left the coast, Larry?

I've been a philosophical drunken bum, and proud of it.

I hope you've deduced why I answer a lot of impertinent questions from a total stranger.

For that's all you are to me.

I have a hunch you came to get something from me.

Well, I have no answers, no, not even for myself.

Unless you can call what Heine wrote in his poem to Morphine an answer.

"Lo, sleep is good, "better is death.

"In sooth, the best of all, were never to be born."

That's a hell of an answer.

"The days grow hot, O Babylon!

"It's cool beneath thy willow trees!"

Goddamned stool pigeon!

What, what do you mean?

You can't call me that!

Hello, little Don!

I didn't recognize you!

You've grown, big boy!

How's your mother?

Don't be a fool!

Loan me a dollar.

Buy me a drink!

Sure, I'll buy you a drink, Hugo.

I'm sorry, got, uh, I got sore at you there.

I ought to remember that when you're sauced, you call everyone "stool pigeon," ah?

It's just no damn joke right at this time.

Oh, gee, he passed out again.

What are you giving me the hard look for, Larry?

You thought I was gonna to hit him?

What do you think I am?

I always stood up for him when everybody in the Movement panned him for an old drunken has-been!

He had the guts to serve 10 years in the can in his own country,

got his eyes ruined in solitary.

I'd like to see some of 'em here stick that.

Well, they're gonna get their chance now tha...

Hey, Larry, tell me more about this dump.

Who are all these, uh, these tanks in here?

Who's that guy over there trying to catch pneumonia?

That's Captain Lewis, one time hero in The British Army.

He strips to display that scar, which he got from a native spear,

whenever he's completely plastered.

The bewhiskered bloke next to him is General Wetjoen, who led a commando in the war.

They met up when they worked in The Boer War Spectacle in the St. Louis Fair,

and they've been bosom friends ever since.

They dream away the hours and happy dispute over the brave days in South Africa,

when they were trying to murder each other.

He was in it, too.

Correspondent for some English paper.

His nickname here is Jimmy Tomorrow.

But what do they do for a living?

As little as possible.

Once in a while one of them makes a successful touch somewhere,

and some of them get a few dollars a month from connections at home,

who pay it on the condition that they never come back.

The rest live on free lunch and their old friend Harry Hope,

who doesn't give a damn what a man does or doesn't do, as long as he likes 'em.

That must be a tough life.

Don't waste your pity.

They manage to stay drunk and keep their pipe dreams, and that's all they ask out of life.

It isn't often that men attain the true goal of their heart's desire.

And that applies to Harry himself.

He's so satisfied with life that he hasn't set foot out of this place

since his wife died 20 years ago.

He has no need of the outside world.

Place does a fine trade from the market across the street and the dock workers.

So in spite of Harry's thirst and his generous heart, he comes out even.

He never worries about hard times, as long as there's friends from the old days

when he was a jitney Tammany politician and the friendly brewery that tied him over.

Pat McGloin, his pal sitting beside him,

was a police lieutenant in the lush times of graft, when everything went,

but he got too greedy.

And when the usual reform investigation came along, he was caught red handed

and thrown off the force.

Joe there ran a colored gambling house, and, was a hell of a sport.

Well, that completes our family circle of inmates,

except for the two barkeeps and their girls,

three ladies of the pavement that room on the third floor.

I never wanna see a whore again.

I mean, they always get you in dutch.

Why omit me from your.

"Who's Who in Dipsomania," Larry?

It's an unpardonable slight...

that's generous, stranger.

I trust you're generous.

I was born in the purple, the son... hmm,

but unfortunately not the heir of the late world-famous.

Bill Oban, king of the bucket shops.

A revolution deposed him, he was sent into exile.

The fact, not to mince matters, they locked him in the can and threw away the key.

Alas, his was an adventurous spirit that pined in confinement...

and so he died!

That's tough luck.

Even in Harvard I discovered my father was...

well known by reputation.

Although that was sometime before the district attorney gave him

so much unwelcomed publicity.

Even as a freshman, I was notorious.

I was accepted socially, with all the warm cordiality that, uh,

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, who could've shown a drunken Negress

dancing the can can at high noon on Brattle Street.

Harvard was my father's idea.

But I did make myself a brilliant student!

A dirty trick on my classmates...

inspired by revenge, I fear.

And I, I, I was a brilliant student in Law School, too!

And my father wanted a lawyer in the family.

Oh, a thorough knowledge of the law close at hand in the house,

to help him find fresh ways to evade it.

But I discovered a loophole in whiskey.

And so, escaped his jurisdiction.

Speaking of whiskey, sir, reminds me, and I hope reminds you,

that when greeting a prince, the customary salutation is "What'll you have?"

Nix! All you guys think I'm made of dough!

Broke?

You haven't the thirsty look of the impecunious.

I'd judge you to be a plutocrat, your pocket's stuffed with ill-gotten gains.

Two or three dollars at least.

Don't think we question how you got it.

What do you mean "How I got it"?

That's a laugh, isn't it, Larry?

Him thinking me a plutocrat?

When I've been in the Movement all my life?

Ah, one of those, eh?

Why don't you go away and blow yourself up?

That's a good lad. Hugo...

Hugo is the only licensed preacher of that gospel here.

Oh, dangerous terrorist Hugo!

He'd as soon blow the collar off a schooner of beer as look at you.

Let us ignore this useless youth, Larry, And let us join in prayer

that Hickey, the great salesman, will soon arrive bringing

the blessed bourgeoisie long green.

Would that Hickey or Death would come, uh?

Meanwhile, I will sing a song.

A beautiful old New England folk ballad,

which I'd picked at Harvard amid de debris of education.

* Oh * Jack oh Jack was a sailor lad * * And he went to a tavern for gin *

* And he rapped and he rapped with a * * But * Never a soul seemed in *

The origin of this beautiful ditty is veiled in mystery, Larry.

There was a legend bruited about in Cambridge lavatories that Waldo Emerson composed it

during his uninformative period as a minister while he was trying to write a sermon.

But my own view is that it goes back much further,

and Jonathan Edwards is the author of both words and the music.

* Oh he rapped and rapped * * And he tapped and tapped * * Enough to wake the dead

* 'Till he heard a damsel * * On a window * Right over his head * Rocky!

Bejees, can't you keep that crazy bastard quiet?

And now the influence of a good woman enters our mariner's lifeline.

Well, perhaps "good" isn't the word, but very, very kind.

* "Oh * Come up" she cried "my sailor lad" * * And you and I'll agree *

* And I'll show you the prettiest * * That ever you ever did see * You see, Larry?

The lewd puritan touch, obviously, and it grows more marked as we go on.

* Oh, he puts his arms * Around her waist * And gazed in her bright * blue eyes * Piano?

What do you think this dump is, a dump?

Give him a bum's rush upstairs. Lock him in his room.

Come on.

No, please, Rocky, I'll go crazy up in that room alone! It's haunted!

Please, Larry, please! Let me stay here, I'll be quiet!

What the hell you doin' to him, Rocky?

Leave him alone...

as long as he's quiet.

Thanks, Harry, you're a good scout.

Yeah, can't trust nobody.

Leave it to that Dago to keep order and it's like bedlam in a cathouse!

Singin' and everything.

And you, a big barfly, you're a hell of a help to me.

There ain't gonna be no more drinks on the house 'till hell freezes over.

Good God.

Have I been drinking at the same table with a bloody Kaffir?

Hello, captain, you comin' up for air?

A "Kaffir," who's he?

"Kaffir," that's a nigger, Joe.

That's joke on him, Joe, he don't know you.

He's still blind drunk.

A great mistake, I missed him at The Battle of Modder River.

With mine rifle I shoot damn fool Limey officers by the dozen, but him I miss.

Hey, wake up, Cecil, you bloody fool.

Don't you know your old friend Joe?

He's white, Joe is!

Oh, profound apologies, Joseph, old chum.

Eyesight's a trifle blurry, I'm afraid.

Whitest colored man I ever knew.

Proud to call you my friend.

Oh, I know it's mistake, captain.

You here is a regular, even if you is a Limey.

But I don't stand for "nigger" from nobody.

In the old days, somebody calls me a "nigger" he ends up in the hospital.

Me, in old days in Transvaal, I was so tough!

And strong!

I, I grab axle of ox wagon, with full load, and lift like feather.

As for you, my balmy Boer that walks like a man, I say it again,

It was a grave error in our foreign policy ever to set you free.

Well, now, Cecil, Piet!

We must forget the war.

Boer and Britain, each fought fairly and played the game until the better man won,

and then we shook hands.

We are all brothers within The Empire, united beneath the flag on which the sun never sets.

* Ship me somewhere * East of Suez * Where the best * Is like the worst *

* Where there ain't * No Ten Commandments * And a man can raise * A thirst

* On the road * To Mandalay * Where the flyin' fishes * Play

* And the dawn * Comes up like thunder *

* Outer China * 'Crost the Bay *

Well thanks, Harry, old chum.

I will have a drink, now you mention it, seeing it's so near your birthday.

I sorry, can't hear you.

No, I was afraid you wouldn't.

I don't have to hear you, bejees.

Booze is the only thing you ever talk about.

True, true.

Yet there was a time when my conversation was more comprehensive.

You can't joke with me.

How much room rent do you owe me? Tell me that!

I'm sorry.

Adding always baffled me, subtraction's my forte.

Oh, think you're funny.

Captain, bejees, showin' off your wounds.

Put on your clothes, for Chrissake!

This ain't no Turkish bath!

Lousy Limey army.

Took 'em years to lick a gang of Dutch hayseeds.

That's right, Harry, give him hell!

I give you my word of honor, as an officer and a gentleman, you shall be paid tomorrow.

We swear it, Harry, tomorrow without fail!

There you are, Harry.

Sure, what could be fairer?

A promise is a promise, as I've often discovered.

Naming you, too...

old grafting flatfoot.

Fine company for me, bejees!

Been livin' in my flat since Christ knows when, and you ain't even got the decency

to get me upstairs, where I got a good bed!

Kept me down here waitin' for Hickey to show up, hopin' I'd blow you to more drinks!

I did my damnedest to get you up.

But you said you couldn't bear the flat because it was one of those nights

when memory brought poor old Bessie back to you.

Ah, yes...

I remember now.

I could almost see her in every room just as she used to be...

and it's 20 years since I...

Isn't a pipe dream of yesterday a touching thing?

By all accounts, 20 years... Bessie nagged the hell out of him.

And I've never set foot out of this house since the day I buried her.

Once she's gone, I didn't give a damn for anything.

The boys was gonna nominate me for Alderman.

Mm, Bessie wanted it, and she was so proud.

But when she was taken, I told 'em, "No, boys, I can't do it.

I'm through."

I know, Lord, why Bessie would appreciate my grief.

She wouldn't want it to keep me cooped up in here all my life.

So I've made up my mind to go out soon.

Take a walk around the ward, see all the friends I used to know.

Get together with the boys.

My birthday, tomorrow!

That'd be the right time to turn over a new leaf!

60, that ain't too old.

The prime of life, Harry.

Time I took hold of myself.

Tomorrow I must get my things from the laundry.

Clean collar and shirt.

If I wash the ones I've got on anymore, they'll fall apart.

I must make a good appearance.

I've heard rumors management were at their wits' end and would be only too willing

to have me run the publicity department for them again.

All I have to do is get fixed up with a decent front tomorrow,

and it's as good as done.

Poor Jimmy's off on his pipe dream again.

I'll make my stake and get my new gamblin' house open before you boys leave.

You gotta come to the openin'.

Bejees, Jimmy's started them off smoking the same hop.

This bughouse will drive me stark, raving loony yet!

What, what'd you say?

Nothing, Harry.

I had a crazy thought in my head.

Crazy is right, the old wise guy.

Damned old fool Anarchist.

I-Won't-Worker!

You'll pay up tomorrow, or I'll, I'll start a Harry Hope Revolution!

I'll tie a dispossess bomb to your tails that'll blow you out in the street!

I'll, I'll make your Movement move!

Sure it's hot, parching work

sittin' here laughin' at your jokes so early in the morning...

What the hell you thinks happened to Hickey?

I hope he turns up.

You remember that gag he always pulls about his wife and the iceman?

Opening time, boss.

Why don't you go to bed, Boss?

Hickey'd never turn up this time of the mornin'.

Someone's comin' now!

Oh, that's only my two pigs, it's about time they showed.

You keep them dumb broads quiet!

I'm gonna catch a couple more winks here,

and I don't want no damn fool laughin' and screechin'.

Hey.

Never thought I'd see the day when Harry Hope's would have tarts living in.

What would Bessie think, hmm?

But he don't let 'em use my rooms for business.

Pay their rent, too, which is more than I can say for...

Bejees, Mac, I, I'll bet Bessie's doin' somersaults in her grave!

Hello.

Jees, Pearl.

This place is a morgue with all these stiffs on deck.

Hey, you Old Wise Guy, ain't you died yet?

Not yet, Margie.

But I'm waiting impatiently for the end.

Yeah.

Hey, who's the new guy? Friend of yours?

Hey, kid!

You wanna have a good time, huh?

Hey, hell with him!

You dumb broads!

Cut the loud talk!

Sit down before I knock you down!

Ohh, you!

What, what, what, what?

Well, how do you tramps do?

Ah, pretty good, uh, Pearl?

Sure, we nailed a couple of all-night guys.

On Sixth Avenue, boobs from the sticks.

Stinko, the both of 'em!

Jees, I never heard such gabby guys!

So... here we are.

Yeah, I see you, but I don't see no dough yet.

Right on the job, ain't he, Margie?

Yeah, our little business man, that's him.

Come on, dig!

What, you're scared we're holdin' out on you?

Way he grabs, you'd think it was him done the work.

Here you are, grafter!

I hope it chokes you!

Hey, you dumb baby dolls give me a pain.

What would you do with money if I wasn't around?

Give it all to some pimp. Jees, what's the difference?

Oh, didn't mean that, Rocky.

A lot of difference, get me?

Hey, come on, Rocky! Pearl was only kiddin'.

We know you don't live off us, you got a regular job.

That's why we like you, you're a bartender.

Sure, I'm a bartender, and I treat you girls right, don't I?

Yeah.

Jees, I'm wise you hold out on me, but I know it ain't much.

So what the hell, I let you get away with it.

Hey, you know ought not kid him about that stuff.

Serves you right if he beats you up.

Jees, I'd bet he'd give you an awful beatin' once he started.

Ginnies got awful tempers.

Anyways, we wouldn't keep no pimp like we were regular old whores.

We ain't that bad.

Oh, no, we're tarts, but that's all.

Hey, Rocky.

Cora got back around 3:00 o'clock.

She woke up Chuck and dragged him outta the hay to go to for a chop suey joint.

Imagine him standin' for that stuff!

I bet they been sittin' around kiddin' themselves

with that old pipe dream about gettin' married and settlin' down on a farm.

Jees, when Chuck's on the wagon, they never lay off that dope.

Hello, bums!

Jees...

the morgue on a rainy Sunday night.

Hello, Old Wise Guy, ain't you croaked yet?

Not yet, Cora.

Damned tiring this waiting for the end.

Aw, go on, you'll never die.

You'll have to hire someone to croak you with an axe.

Hey, you dumb hooker, cut the loud talk.

This ain't a cathouse.

Hey, Cora, how you doin'?

Hey, Chuck, what's happening?

If I'd known this dump was a hooker hangout, I'd never come in.

You seem down on the ladies.

I hate every bitch that ever lived.

Me and this overgrown tramp's been scrappin' about the farm.

He says Jersey's the best place, and I said Long Island on account it will be near Coney.

And then I tells him, "How do I know you're off of periodicals for life?"

And I tells her "I'm off the stuff for life."

Then she beefs we won't be married a month

before I'll throw it in her face she was a tart.

"Jees, baby,"I tells her, "Why should I? "What the hell you think I think I'm marryin', a virgin?

Can you tie it?

I'll buy a drink, I'll do anything.

No, this round's on me!

I run into luck.

That's why I dragged Chuck outta bed to celebrate.

It was a sailor, I rolled him.

Listen, it was a scream.

My dogs was givin' out when I seen this guy holdin' up a lamp post,

so I hurry to get him before a cop did.

I says, "Hello, handsome, wanna have a good time?"

Jees, he was paralyzed!

One of them polite jags.

He tries to bow to me, imagine, and I had to prop him up or he'd fell on his nose.

"Quit ticklin' me," he says, while I was friskin' him for his roll!

I near died!

Ain't Uncle Sam the sap to trust guys like that with dough?

Well, I picked 12 bucks off of him.

So come on, Rocky, set 'em up.

Oh, say, Chuck's kiddin' about the iceman a minute ago

reminds me, where the hell's Hickey?

That's what we're all wonderin'.

Well, he oughta be here!

Me and Chuck seen him.

You've seen Hickey?Yeah. Hey, boss!

Boss, boss, come to.

Cora's seen Hickey.

Where'd you see him, Cora?

Right on the next corner, he was standin' there.

We said, "Welcome to our city!

"The gang's expectin' ya with their tongues hangin' out a yard long."

And I kidded him, "How's the iceman, Hickey?

How's he doin' at your house?"

And he laughs and says, "Fine."

And then he says, "Tell the gang I'll be along in a minute.

"I'm just finishin' figurin' out the best way to save 'em and bring 'em peace."

Bejees, he's thought up a new gag!

It's a wonder he didn't borrow a Salvation Army uniform and show up in that!

Go out and get him, Rocky.

Tell him we're waitin' to be saved!

Yeah, Harry, he was only kiddin' but he was funny, too, somehow;

he was different or somethin'.

Sure, he was sober, baby, that's what made him different.

Sure!

Gee, ain't I dumb?

Dumbest broad I ever seen.

Sober?

That's funny.

He's always lapped up a good starter on his way here.

Well, bejees, he won't be sober long!

He'll be good and ripe for my birthday party tonight at 12:00.

Listen, he's fixed some new gag to pull on us.

We'll pretend to let him kid us, see?

And we'll kid the pants off him!

Here's the old son of a bitch!

Hello, gang!

* Oh dear old pals * We're jolly old pals * In all kinds of weather *

* We always stick together * Like we're always game * Whenever the same soul

* Give me for friendship * * My jolly old pals * And another little drink

* Won't do us any harm *

Do your duty, Brother Rocky, bring on the rat poison!

How goes it, Governor?

Bejees, Hickey, you old bastard, it's good to see you!

Hello, Mac.

Welcome, "boyo!"

Willie!

Hey, Hickey!

How you've got... Hello, Joe.

All right, Hickey, how you doin'?

Hello, Hickey, old timer. Oh, Captain Lewis!

General Wetjoen!

I said!

Hello, Hugo!

How goes it?

Wow, wow!

Too much wine underneath the willow trees, eh?

Hello, Jimmy.

It's grand to see ya. How's the old scout?

You look great.

Sit down, Hickey, sit down.

Well, I, I... Jimmy!

Bejees, it seems natural to see your ugly, grinning map.

This dumb broad was tryin' to tell us you'd changed, but you ain't a damned bit!

Tell us about yourself.

Bejees, Hickey, you look like a million dollars!

Here's your key, Hickey,same old room. Oh, thanks, Rocky.

I'll be goin' up in a little while and grab a snooze.

I haven't been able to sleep lately, I'm tired as hell.

A couple of hours of good kip will fix me.

First time I ever heard you worry about sleep.

Bejees, you never would go to bed.

Get a couple of slugs under your belt, you'll forget sleeping.

Here's mud in your eye, Hickey.

Drink hearty, boys and girls.

Bejees, is that a new stunt?

Drinking your chaser first?

No, I forgot to tell Rocky.

You'll have to excuse me, boys and girls, but I'm off the stuff, for keeps.

What the hell?

Sure, sure!

Joined the Salvation Army, ain't you?

Been elected President of the W.C.T.U.?

Take the bottle away from him, Rocky.

We don't want to tempt him into sin.

Eh, I know it's hard to believe, but, uh, Cora was right, Harry, I have changed.

I mean about the booze, I don't need it anymore.

Bejees, Cora says you was comin' here to save us.

Well, go on, get this joke off your chest.

Start the service!

Sing a Goddamned hymn if you like.

We'll all join in the chorus.

"No drunkard can enter this beautiful home."

You don't think I'd come around here peddlin' any brand of temperance bunk, do you?

Just 'cause I quit the stuff don't mean I'm going Prohibition.

I'm not that ungrateful, it's given me too many good times.

So if anybody wants to get drunk, if that's the only way they can be happy,

and feel at peace with themselves, why the hell shouldn't they?

Hell, I know that game from soup to nuts.

I wrote the book.

The only reason I quit is...

well, I finally had the guts to face myself

and throw overboard that damned lying pipe dream that'd make me miserable,

and do what I had to do for the happiness of all concerned.

Then all at once, I was at peace with myself and I didn't need the booze anymore.

Well, what the hell?

Don't let me be a wet blanket.

Set 'em up again, Rocky.

Here, keep the balls coming until last kill, then I'll ask for more.

Jees, a roll that'd choke a hippopotamus.

Fill up, you guys!

That sounds more like you, Hickey.

All that water-wagon bull!

Cut the act and have a drink, for Chrissake.

It's no act, Governor, but that don't mean

I'm a teetotal grouch and can't be in the party.

Why else do you think I'm here except to have a party,

like I've always done, and help celebrate your birthday tonight?

You've all been good pals to me, best friends I've ever had.

And I've been thinking about you ever since I left the house,

all the time I was walking over here.

"Walkin'?"

Bejees, you mean to say you walked?

I sure as hell did.

All the way from the wilds of darkest Astoria.

I seemed to get here before I knew it.

And that ought to encourage you, Governor, show you a little walk around the ward

is nothin' to be so scared about.

It was goin' on 12:00 when I went into the bedroom

to tell Evelyn I was leaving, six hours, say.

No, less than that, 'cause I'd been standin' on the street corner

some time before Chuck and Cora came along, thinkin' about all of you.

Of course, I was only kidding Cora with that stuff about saving you.

But no, I wasn't either, but I didn't mean booze.

I meant save you from pipe dreams.

Because I know now, from my experience, that they're the things

that can really poison and ruin a guy's life and keep him from finding any peace.

If you knew how free and contented I feel now.

Why, I'm like a new man, and the cure for them is so damned simple

once you got the nerve.

Just stop lying to yourself and kidding yourself about tomorrows.

Hell, this begins to sound like a damned sermon on the way to lead the good life!

It's in my blood, I guess.

My old man used to whale salvation into my heinie with a birch rod.

He was a preacher in the sticks of Indiana, like I've told you,

got my knack of sales gab from him, too.

He was the boy that could sell those Hoosier hayseeds

building lots along the Golden Street!

Now don't look at me like that, boys and girls.

I'm not tryin' to sell you a goldbrick.

Nothin' up my sleeves, honest.

Let's take an example, any one of you, eh?

Take you, Governor.

That walk around the ward you never take.

What about it?

Well, you know as well as I do, Harry, everything about it.

Well, Bejees, I'm going to take it!

Of course you are, because I'm gonna help you.

I know it's the thing that you've got to do before you know what real peace means.

Same thing with you, Jimmy.

You're goin' have to try and get your old job back, and no tomorrows about it.

Ahh, I...

No, don't tell me, I know all about tomorrows.

I wrote the book.

I, I don't understand you, Hickey.

I admit I've foolishly delayed, but as it happens, I'd just made up my mind

that as soon as I could get straightened out...

Fine, fine, that's the spirit, and I'm gonna help you, Jimmy.

'Cause you've always been damned kind to me, and I wanna prove how grateful I am to you.

When it's all over, you don't have to nag yourself any more.

You'll be grateful to me, too.

And all the rest of you, the ladies included, are in the same boat, one way or another.

Be God, you've hit the nail on my head, Hickey.

This dump is the Palace of Pipe Dreams!

Well, well, the Old Grandstand Foolosopher speaks, ah?

And you think you're the big exception, eh?

Life doesn't mean a damn to you any more.

You're retired from the circus, you're impatiently waiting for the end

in the good old Long Sleep.

Well, I think a lot of you, Larry, you old bastard,

and I'll try and make an honest man out of you, too.

What the devil are you hintin' at?

Well, you don't have to ask me, do you, wise old guy like you?

Just ask yourself, I'll bet you know.

He's got your number all right, Larry.

That's the stuff, Hickey.

He's got no right to sneak out of everything.

Well, hello! A stranger in our midst.

I didn't notice you before, brother.

My name's, uh, Parritt, I'm an old friend of Larry's.

What are you staring at?

Oh, no offense, brother, I was just trying to figure.

Haven't we met before... some place?

No, it's the first time I've been East.

No, you're right, I know that's not it.

You see, in my game, to be a shark at it, you teach yourself

never to forget a name or a face.

But still I know damned well there's...

something that I recognize about you.

We're members of the same lodge...

in some way.

What are you talkin' about?

You're nuts.

Don't kid me, little boy.

I'm a good salesman, so damned good the firm was glad to take me back after every drunk.

And what made me good was I could size up anyone.

But still, I don't...

Well, never mind.

I can tell you're havin' trouble with yourself,

and I'll be glad to do anything I can to help a friend of Larry's.

Mind your own business, Hickey. He's nothing to you, or to me.

You're keeping us all in suspense.

Tell us more about how you're going to save us.

Well, hell, don't get sore, Larry.

We're old pals, I've always liked you a lot, you know that.

Forget it, Hickey.

Fine, fine...

Well, that's the spirit.

What's the matter,everybody? Come on, drink up! A little action!

Have another...

Hell, this is a celebration!

Oh, forget it if anything I said sounded too serious.

You think I'm talkin' out of turn, just tell me to go chase myself.

No, boys and girls, I'm not trying to put anything over on you.

It's just that I know now, from experience, what a lying pipe dream can do to you.

And how damned relieved and contented with yourself you'll feel when you're rid of it.

Oh, my God... I'm sleepy all of a sudden.

That long walk must be gettin' to me.

I better go upstairs.

Hell of a trick to go dead on you like this.

And no, boys and girls, I've...

never known what real peace was until now.

It's a grand feeling.

Like when you're sick and suffering like hell and then...

doc gives you a shot in the arm.

The pain goes and...

you drift off.

You let yourself go at last.

You sink down to the bottom of the sea.

Rest in peace.

There's no further you have to go.

Not one single hope or dream left to nag you.

But you'll all know what I mean.

Excuse me, I'll just grab 40 winks.

Drink up, everybody...

on me.

Don't let me be a wet blanket.

All I want is to see you happy.

THE SAME DAY TOWARD MIDNIGHT

Hickey ain't overlookin' no bets.

Tell it to Old Wise Guy Larry, who's still pretendin' he's the one exception

who don't do no pipe dreamin'!

I...

All right.

Take it out on me, if it makes you more content.

Sure, I love every hair of your heads, my great big beautiful baby dolls,

and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you.

The old Irish bunk, huh?

We ain't big and we ain't your baby dolls!

But we admit we're beautiful, huh, Margie? Yeah, sure thing.

But what would he do with beautiful dolls even if he had the price, the old goat?

Ahh!

Larry, you're okay even though you are full of bull.

Sure, you're aces with us; we're nervous, that's all.

It's Hickey, that lousy drummer!

Why can't he be like he's always been?

I ain't never seen a guy change so.

What do you think happened to him, Larry?

I don't know.

With all his gab I noticed he's kept that to himself so far.

Maybe he's saving the great revelation for Harry's party.

Let him mind his own business and I'll mind mine.

Yeah, that's what I say.

I told him, "I'll take a lot from you, Hickey," "like everyone else in this dump,"

"because you always been a grand guy."

"But there's things I don't take from you nor nobody, see?"

"Remember that," or you'll wake up in a hospital, "or maybe worse,

"with your wife and the iceman walkin' slow behind ya."

I stood tellin' people this dump is closed for the night all I'm gonna!

Let Harry hire a doorman, pay him wages, if he wants one.

Yeah?

Harry's pretty damned good to ya.

Sure he is, I don't mean that.

Anyways, it's all right.

I told Schwartz, the cop, we closed for the party.

He'll keep folks away.

I wants me a big drink, that's what.

Who's stoppin' yuh?

You can have all you want on Hickey.

All right, I earned all the drinks on him I could drink in a year

for listenin' to his crazy bull.

And here's hopin' he gets the lockjaw.

I drinks on him, but I don't drink with him.

No, sir, never no more!

Oh, bull.

Hickey's all right, what's he done to you?

That's my business.

Sure, you would think he's all right.

He's a white man, ain't he?

Now listen to me, you white boys!

Now don't you get it in your head that I was pretendin' to be what I ain't,

or that I ain't proud to be what I am you gettin' me?

Or you and me is goin' to have trouble.

What nerve!

Just because you act nice to him, he gets a swelled nut...

if that ain't a coon all over.

He talkin' fight talk, huh? I'll murder the nigger.

Listen, listen, boys, I, I'm sorry.

You been good friends to me.

It's that Hickey, he gets my head all mixed up with craziness.

Oh, that's all right, Joe.

The boys wasn't takin' you serious.

Jees, what did I say?

Hickey ain't overlookin' no bets.

And you gotta admit he's got the right dope.

I mean, on some of the bums here.

He's certainly got one guy I know sized up right.

Ain't he, Pearl? He certainly has.

Cut it out, I told ya!

It's nothing to me what happened to him.

But I have a feeling he's dying to tell us inside him, and yet he's afraid.

Like that damned kid.

Strange the queer way he seemed to recognize him.

If he's afraid, that explains why he's off booze.

Afraid if he got drunk, he might tell...

Well, well, well!

Here I am in the nick of time.

Well, come on, somebody, give me a hand with these packages.

Jees, Hickey, you scared me outta a year's growth, sneakin' in like that.

"Sneakin'?"

You were all so busy drinking in words of wisdom from Old Wise Guy here,

you couldn't hear anything else.

And from what I heard, Larry, you're not so good when you start playing Sherlock Holmes.

You've got me all wrong.

I'm not afraid of anything now, not even myself.

You better stick to the part of Old Cemetery, the Barker for the Big Sleep.

That is, if you can still let yourself get away with it.

"Old Cemetery!"

That's him, Hickey. We'll have to call him that.

Beginning to do a lot of puzzling about me, aren't you, Larry?

But that won't help you.

You've got to think of yourself, I couldn't give you my peace.

You've got to find your own, all I can do is to help you, and the rest of the gang,

by showing you the way to find it.

Oh, hire a church!

All right, boys and girls, don't get sore.

I guess that did sound too much like a lousy preacher.

Well, let's forget it and get on with the party.

Is those bundles grub, Hickey? You bought enough already to feed an army.

I want this to be the biggest birthday Harry's ever had.

Now you and Rocky go out in the hall and bring in the big surprise!

My arms are busted lugging it.

Jees, you got us all head up!

What is it, Hickey? Wait and see!

I thought to myself,

"I'll bet this is what would please those whores more than anything."

Then I said to myself, "I don't care "how much money it costs, they're worth it,

"they're the best little scouts in the world,

"and they've always been damned kind to me when I was down and out."

And I meant every word of that.

Well, what's the matter?

Ehh... Oh, I see.

Now look, you know I didn't say that to offend you.

So don't be silly now.

All right, all right. Oh, look, here it comes!

Hickey, what...

What'd you get? Unveil it, boys!

Oh, it's champagne!

Oh, jees, Hickey, if you ain't a sport!

I never been soused on champagne!

Hey, let's get stinko! Oh, you betcha my life!

You sure is hittin' the high spots, Hickey.

When I runs my gamblin' house, I drink that old bubbly water in steins.

And I'm gonna drink that way again, too, as soon's I make my stake.

And that ain't no pipe dream, neither.

What'll we drink it outta, Hickey?

There ain't no wine glasses.

Well, Joe's got the right idea, steins!

That's the spirit for Harry's party.

We will drink wine beneath the willow trees!

That's the spirit, brother, and let the lousy slaves drink vinegar.

Got damned liar!

Leave Hugo be!

He rotted 10 years in prison for his faith.

He earned his dream!

Have you no decency or pity?

Hello, what's this?

I thought you were in the grandstand.

Listen, Larry, you're gettin' me all wrong.

Hell, you ought to know me better.

Of course I have pity, but now that I've seen the light, it's not my old kind of pity,

the kind yours is.

The kind that lets itself off by encouraging some poor guy to go on kidding himself with a lie.

The kind that leaves the poor slob worse off because he feels guiltier than ever.

Oh, I know how you resent the way I have to show you up to yourself,

but you'll be grateful to me when all at once you're able to admit,

without feeling ashamed, that all the grandstand foolosopher bunk

and the waiting for the Big Sleep stuff is a pipe dream.

You'll be able to say to yourself, "I'm just an old man who is scared of life,

"but even more scared of dying.

"So I'm keeping drunk and hanging on to life at any price, and what of it?"

Be God, if I'm not beginning to think you've gone mad.

You're a liar!

Now, listen, that's no way to talk to an old pal who's trying to help you.

Hell, if you really wanted to die, you'd just take a hop off the fire escape, wouldn't you?

And if you really were in the grandstand, you wouldn't be pitying everyone.

As for my being bughouse, you can't crawl out of it that way.

I'm too damned sane.

I can size up guys and turn 'em inside out better than I ever could,

even where they're strangers like that Parritt kid.

He's licked, Larry.

For the love of God, mind your own business.

How'd you know about him?

He's hardly spoken to you.

No, that's right, but I do know a lot about him just the same.

I've had hell inside of me, I can spot it in others.

Maybe that's what gives me the feeling there's something familiar about him,

something between us.

No, it's more than that.

Tell me about him, for example, I don't imagine he's married, is he?

No.

Hasn't he been mixed up with some woman? Oh, I don't mean trollops.

I mean the old real love stuff that crucifies you.

Maybe you're right, I wouldn't be surprised.

I see.

You think I'm on the wrong track and you're glad I am.

Because then I won't suspect whatever it is he did about the Great Cause.

That's another lie you keep telling yourself, Larry,

that the good old cause means nothing to you any more.

What the hell...

But you're wrong about Parritt.

That's not what's got him stopped, it's what's behind that.

And it's a woman, I recognize the symptoms.

And you're the boy who's never wrong.

His trouble is he was brought up a devout believer

in the Movement, and now he's lost his faith!

It's a shock...

but he's young, and he'll soon find another dream just as good or as bad.

All right, I'll let it go at that, Larry.

He's nothing to me, except that I'm glad he's here

'cause he'll help me make you wake up to yourself.

I don't even like the guy, or the feeling there's anything between us.

But you'll find out that I'm right just the same,

when you get to the final showdown with him.

There'll be no showdown! I don't give a tinker's...

Sticking to the grandstand, eh?

I always knew that you'd be the toughest of all the gang to convince, Larry.

And along with Harry and Jimmy Tomorrow.

It was you I wanted to help the most.

I've always liked you a lot, you old bastard.

Hey, not much time before 12:00!

Well, come on, gang, let's get going.

Come on, boys and girls, let's get busy.

Let's see, cake's all set.

And my gifts and yours, girls.

It's a tie, tie and a handkerchief.

Chuck and Rocky, hmm? What's this for, Hickey?

Harry certainly will be very touched by your thoughts of him.

Now Margie and Pearl, get back in the bar and get ready to bring the grub right in.

There'll be some drinking first and some toasts.

My idea was to use the wine for that, so get that all set.

Now I'll go upstairs and root everybody up, Harry the last.

When you hear us coming, somebody light the candles

and start playing his favorite tune on the piano.

Well, come on, Cora, everybody, let's hustle!

We want this to come off in style, uh?

But Jees,I gotta practice. I ain't laid my mitts on a box in God knows when.

Hey, Joe!

* Oh, Jees, I've forgotten this has-been tune.

Come on, Joe, hum it so I can follow.

Be God!

It's the second feast of Belshazzar, with Hickey to do the writing on the wall!

Aw, shut up, Old Cemetery!

Well, if it ain't Prince Willie.

Gee, kid, you look sick.

Get a couple of shots in ya.

No, thanks, not now, I'm-I'm-I'm tapering off.

It's been hell up in that damned room, Larry.

The-the-the things I've imagined!

But...

I've-I've got it beat now.

By-by tomorrow morning I'll...

I'll be on the wagon.

And I'll, uh...

I'll get back my clothes first thing.

Hickey's loaning me the money.

And I'm goin' to do what I always said.

I'm-I'm-I'm gonna go to the D.A.'s office, because he knows that I...

I-I really was a brilliant student.

Oh, I know I can make good.

I-I owe a lot to Hickey.

He's...made me wake up to myself and see what a fool...

It wasn't nice to face but...

It's not what he says.

It's what you feel behind what he hints!

Christ, you'd think all I really wanted to do with my life was sit here and stay drunk!

I'll show him!

You want my advice...

you'll put your mouth on this bottle and keep it there

until you don't give a damn about Hickey.

That's fine advice.

I thought you were my friend!

Gee, I'm glad you're here, Larry.

That damned fool Hickey knocked on my door.

I opened up because I thought it must be you.

He came bustin' in and made me come downstairs here.

I don't know what for, I don't belong at this birthday celebration, I don't know this gang,

and I don't wanna be mixed up with them.

All I came here for was to find you! I've warned you that...

Can't you make Hickey mind his own business?

Just now he pats me on the shoulder, like he's sympathizing with me.

He says, "I know how it is, son, "but you can't hide from yourself,

"not even here on the bottom of the sea.

"You've gotta face the truth and then do what must be done

"for your own peace and for the happiness of all concerned."

Now, what'd he mean by that, Larry? How the hell would I know?

Then he grins at me and says, "Oh, never mind, "Larry's getting wise to himself.

"I think you can rely on his help in the end.

"He's gonna have to choose between living and dying, "and he'll never choose to die

while there's a breath left in the old bastard!"

Then he laughs like it's a joke on you.

Well, what do you say to that, Larry?

I've got nothing to say.

Except you're a bigger fool than he is to listen to him.

Oh, is that so? Well, he's no fool where you're concerned.

He's got your number, all right.

Well, hello, "Tightwad Kid."

Hey, did you come to join the party?

Oh, wow, boy, don't he act bashful, Pearl?

Hey, Rocky, fighting in the hall!

Don't touch me!

Can you beat it?

I heard you's two call each other every name you can think of but I never seen...

A swell time to stage your first bout, on Harry's birthday party!

What started the scrap?

Nothing, old chap.

Our business, you know, but that bloody ass, Hickey, made some insinuation about me,

and the boorish Boer had the impertinence to agree with him!

That's a lie!

Hickey made joke about me, and this Limey said yes, it was true!

Well, sit down the both of you!

And cut out this rough stuff!

Here's the star boarder.

It's serious this time.

I'm tellin' all of you, that bastard Hickey's got Harry on the hip.

And it ain't gonna do us no good if he gets Harry to take that walk tomorrow.

He's sure to call on Bessie's relations and have a little cry over poor old Bessie.

And you know what that bitch and all her family thought of me!

Once Bessie's relations get their hooks into him, it'll be as tough for us

as if she wasn't even gone.

Everything all set?

Ah, fine.

Half-a-minute to go, Harry's starting down with Jimmy now.

I had a hard time getting him to move.

Harry don't even want to remember it's his birthday now!

Oh, here they come! Come on, everybody, light the candles!

Cora, get ready to play, stand up, everybody, eh?

Chuck, Rocky, the wine!

Let's see, 12:00 o'clock on the dot.

Come on, everybody, with a "Happy Birthday, Harry!"

Happy Birthday, Harry!

Hey!

Cut out the glad hand, Hickey!

You think I'm a sucker?

Bejees, I know you, you sneaking, lying drummer!

And all you bums, what the hell you trying to do, yelling and raising the roof?

You want the cops to close the joint, and take my license away?

Hey, you dumb tart, quit banging that box.

Jees, Harry, I...

Bejees, the least you could do is learn a tune.

You two hookers, screaming at the top of your lungs!

What do you think this is, a dollar cathouse?

Bejees, that's where you belong!

Jees, Harry, I never thought you'd say it like you meant it.

Now, Harry, you don't want to get sore at the gang

just 'cause you're upset about yourself, hmm?

Look, anyway, I promised you it'd come through all right, haven't I?

So quit worrying. Ahh...

You don't wanna blow out the old gang

just when they're congratulating you on your birthday, do you?

Bejees, they ain't as dumb as you.

They know I was only kiddin' 'em.

They know I appreciate their congratulations.

Don't you, fellas, huh?

Yeah, sure Harry.

Bejees, I like you broads.

You know I was only kiddin'.

Sure, we know,Harry. Sure!

It's that lousy drummer riding me that's got my goat.

I know, Harry, I know.

Hey, come on, look at your cake, you haven't even noticed it yet!

Ain't it grand?

Yeah, say, that's pretty.

I ain't have had a cake since Bessie...

And six candles, eh?

Each for 10 years, eh?

You got it.

That was thoughtful of him.

He means well, I guess...

The hell with this cake! Oh, oh, wait, Harry!

You ain't seen the presents from me and Margie and Cora, and Chuck and Rocky.

And there's a watch all engraved with your name and the date from Hickey.

Ah, the hell with it!

Bejees, he can keep it!

Jees, he ain't even goin' to look at our presents!

Hey, hey, come on everybody, this is all wrong!

If someone don't put some life in this party I'm gonna go nuts!

Hey, Cora, come on!

Why don't you bang on that box?

Eh...ohh, play somethin' for Harry, uh?

You don't have to stop just 'cause he kidded you.

Yeah, now you was playing it fine, Cora.

It was Bessie's favorite tune.

She was always singing it.

It brings her back, I wish...

Yes, we've all heard you tell us that you thought the world of her, Governor.

So I did, bejees...

everyone knows I did.

And bejees, if you say I didn't...

Now, Governor, I didn't say anything.

You're the only one that knows the truth about that.

Marjorie's favorite song was "Loch Lomond."

She was beautiful, she had a beautiful voice, and she played the piano beautifully.

You were lucky, Harry, Bessie died.

But there are more bitter sorrows than losing the woman one loves by the hand of death.

Now, you needn't go on, Jimmy.

We've all heard the story about how you came back to Cape Town

and found her in the hay with a staff officer.

We all know that you'd like to believe that that's what started you on the booze

and ruined your life.

I... I'm talking to Harry.

Will you kindly keep out of...

My life is not ruined!

But I'll bet when you admit the truth to yourself,

you'll confess it, you were pretty sick of her hating you for getting drunk.

And I'll bet you were really damned relieved when she gave you such a good excuse.

I know how it is, Jimmy, you see, I... Ha!

So that's what happened, is it?

Your iceman joke finally came home to roost, did it?

Maybe you should've remembered there's truth in the old superstition

that you'd better look out what you call, because in the end it comes to you.

Was that a fact, Larry?

Well, well.

Then you'd better be careful how you keep calling for the old Big Sleep.

Chair.

Well, what are we waiting for, boys and girls? Let's get this party rolling!

Chuck, Rocky, bring on the big surprise!

Oh, Governor, you sit over here at the head of the table.

Come on.

Well, sit down, girls, sit down.

And I'll sit here at the foot.

Real champagne, bums, cheer up!

What is this, a funeral?

Mixin' champagne with Harry's redeye will knock you paralyzed!

Ain't you never satisfied?

Order, order, Ladies and gents!

Oh, yes, I am going to drink with you this time, Larry.

To prove that I'm not teetotal because the booze'll make me spill my secrets, as you think.

I don't need the booze anymore, or anything else.

I just want to be sociable and propose a toast in honor of our old friend, Harry,

and drink it with you.

Wake up our demon bomb-tosser, Rocky.

We don't want any corpses at this feast.

Hey, Hugo, come up for air!

Don't you see the champagne?

Hah.

We will eat birthday cake and drink champagne beneath the willow trees!

This wine is unfit to drink!

It has not properly been iced!

Always a high-toned swell at heart, eh, Hugo?

Well, God help us poor bums if you'd ever got to telling us where to get off.

You'd have been drinking our blood beneath those willow trees!

But here's the toast, Ladies and gents.

Here's to Harry Hope, who's been a friend in need to every one of us.

And here's to the old Governor, the best sport and the kindest,

biggest-hearted guy in the world.

Come on, everybody, to Harry!

Bottoms up.

To Harry! To you, boss. Happy Birthday!

Thanks, all of you.

Hickey, you old son of a bitch, that's white of you.

I know you meant it, too.

Of course I meant it, Harry, old friend.

And I mean it when I say that I hope that this will be the biggest day in your life,

and in the lives of everyone here, and the beginning of a new life

of peace and contentment.

And here's to that, Harry.

Oh, forget that bughouse line of bull for a minute, can't you?

You're right, Rocky, I am talking too much.

It's Harry we want to hear from.

Speech, speech, speech!

Bejees, I'm...

I'm no good at speeches.

All I can say is thanks to everybody again for remembering me on my birthday.

Only don't think because I'm 60, I'll be a bigger damned fool easy mark than ever!

Like Hickey says, it's gonna be a new day!

This dump has got to be run like other dumps,

so I can make some money and not just split even.

I'm sick of bein' played for a sucker.

I know you're all laughin' at me now behind my back, thinking to yourselves,

"The old, lying' pipe-dreaming faker, "we've heard his bull

"about takin' a walk around the ward for years, "he'll never make it!

"He's scared, he's yellow, "he ain't got the guts!

He's scared he'll find out... ".

But I'll show you, bejees!

And I'll show you, too, you son of a bitch of a frying-pan-peddling bastard!

Hu, hu, hu, that's the stuff, Harry!

Of course you'll try to show me, that's what I want you to do.

Bejees...

all of you, forgive me.

I lost my temper.

I ain't feeling well.

I got a hell of a grouch on.

You're as welcome as the flowers in May!

Oh, sure, boss, you're always aces with us, see?

Listen, everybody.

I know you're sick of my gabbing, but, uh,

I think I owe it to you to do a little explaining

and apologize for some of the rough stuff I've had to pull on you.

I had to make you help each other with me, eh?

I saw that I couldn't do what I had to do alone.

Not in the time at my disposal.

I knew when I came here I wouldn't be able to stay long.

I'm slated to leave on a trip.

Now I know every one of you, inside and out, by heart.

I may have been drunk when I've been here before,

but old Hickey could never be so drunk he couldn't have to see through everybody.

Everybody, that is, except himself.

And finally, he had to see through himself, too.

Now I swear I would've never acted this way

if I didn't absolutely believe it'd be worthwhile to you in the end.

When you're rid of the damned guilt that makes you lie to yourselves

that you're something you're not, and the remorse that nags at you

and makes you hide behind lousy pipe dreams, you won't give a damn what you are anymore.

I wouldn't say this unless I knew, brothers and sisters.

This peace is real, it is a fact.

I know, because I've got it, here, now, right in front of you.

Well, you can see the difference in me.

You remember how I used to be.

Even when I had two quarts of rotgut under my belt, and joked and sang "Sweet Adeline,"

I still felt like a guilty skunk.

But you can see that I don't give a damn about anything anymore.

And I promise you, by the time this day is over,

I'll have every one of you feeling the same way.

I guess that's about all from me for the present, boys and girls.

So, let's get on with the party. Wait!

I think it would help us, poor pipe-dreaming sinners along the sawdust trail to salvation,

if you told us now what it was happened that converted you

to this great peace you've found.

I noticed you didn't say anything when I asked you about the iceman.

Did this great revelation of the evil habit of dreaming about tomorrow

come to you after you found out your wife was sick of you?

Bejees, you've hit it, Larry.

I've noticed he hasn't shown her picture around this time.

He hasn't got it! The iceman took it away from him!

Jees, look at him! Who could blame her?

She must be hard up to fall for an iceman!

Imagine a sap like him advisin' me and Chuck to get married.

Yeah, he done so good with it.

At least I can say that Marjorie chose an officer and a gentleman.

Come to look at you, Hickey, old chap, you've sprouting horns like a bloody antelope!

Bigger, by God, like a water buffalo's!

* "Oh come up" she cried, * * "My iceman lad * "And you and I'll agree *

* "And I'll show you the prettiest * * "That ever you did see" *

Well, I'm glad to see you get in good spirits for Harry's party, even if the joke is on me.

Well, I'll admit I always asked for it in the old days

by pulling that iceman gag, so, uh, laugh all you like.

Well, I guess this forces my hand, by brining up the subject of Evelyn.

I had wanted to wait until the party was over, But, uh,

you're getting the wrong idea about poor Evelyn, and I've got to stop that.

I'm sorry to tell you that my dearly beloved wife is dead.

Be God...

I felt he had the touch of death on him.

Forgive me, Hickey...

I'd like to cut my dirty tongue out.

Now, look everybody, you mustn't let this be a wet blanket on Harry's birthday party.

You're still getting me all wrong.

There's no reason...

You see, I don't feel any grief.

I've got to feel glad, for her sake, because she's at peace; she's rid of me at last.

And you can imagine what I was like being married to a no-good drunken cheater like me.

And there was no way out of it for her, because she loved me.

But now she is at peace, like she always longed to be.

So why should I feel sad?

She wouldn't want me to feel sad.

Why, all that Evelyn ever wanted out of life was to make me happy.

THE MIDDLE OF THE MORNING

Eh, nothin' now 'till the noon rush from the market.

If I ain't a sap to let Chuck kid me into workin' his time

so he can take the morning off.

But I got sick of arguing.

"All right, get married! What's it to me?"

Some party last night, eh?

It was jinxed from the start, but his tellin' about his wife croakin' put de K.O. on it.

It was the birthday feast that turned out to be a wake.

Him promisin' he'd cut out that bughouse bull about peace.

And then he went on talkin' and talkin' like he couldn't stop.

And the gang, sneakin' upstairs, leavin' free booze and eats like they was poison.

He's been hoppin' from room to room, all night.

He's got his Reform Wave goin' strong this mornin'.

Did you notice him drag Jimmy out the first thing

to get his laundry and his clothes pressed so he wouldn't have no excuse?

And he give Willie the dough to buy his stuff back from Solly's.

And all the rest have been brushin' and shavin' themselves with the shakes.

He didn't come to my room.

Afraid I might ask him a few questions.

Yeah? I'd say you was scared of him.

You'd lie then. Don't let him kid you, Rocky.

He had his door locked, I couldn't get in, either.

Yeah, who do you think you're kiddin', Larry?

Like he says, if you was so anxious to croak,

why wouldn't you hop off your fire escape long ago?

Because it'd be a coward's quitting, that's why.

He's all quitter, Rocky.

He's a yellow old faker.

You lying punk! Yeah, keep out of this, you!

Shall I give him the bum's rush, Larry?

You don't want him around, nobody else don't.

No, let him stay,I don't mind. He's nothing to me.

You're right.

I have nowhere I can go now, you're the only one in the world I can turn to.

Eh, you're a soft old sap, Larry.

He's a no-good louse like Hickey.

He don't belong!

I'm all in, not a wink of sleep.

Larry, I'm sorry for ridin' you.

But you get my goat when you act as if you didn't care a damn what happened to me.

And you keep your door locked so I can't talk to you.

But that was to keep Hickey out, wasn't it?

I don't blame you, I'm getting more and more to hate him.

More and more scared of him.

Especially since he told us about his wife being dead.

It's that queer feeling he gives me that I'm mixed up with him in some way.

I don't know why, but it started me thinking about mother.

As if she was dead.

I suppose she might as well be.

It must kill her when she thinks of me.

I know she doesn't want to, but... she can't help it.

After all, I'm her only kid.

You know, Larry...

I once had a sneaking suspicion that, if the truth were known, you were my father.

You damned fool!

Who put that insane idea in your head?

Anyone in the coast crowd could tell I never laid eyes

on your mother 'till after you were born.

Well, I'd hardly ask them, would I?

I know you're right, though, because I asked her.

She brought me up to be frank and ask her anything.

I was talking about how she must feel now about me.

My getting through with the Movement.

Oh, she'll never forgive me for that.

That must be the final knockout, if she knows that I was the one who sold out...

Shut up, damn you! Shut up.

It'll kill her! But Larry...

I never thought that they would have caught her!

Shut up!What the hell is it to me?

What's comin' off here? Nothing.

This young punk is talking my ear off.

He's a worse pest than Hickey.

Oh, yeah, Hickey.

Say, listen, what do you mean about him being scared

you'd ask him questions? What questions?

What questions? Well, you noticed he didn't tell us what his wife died of.

Oh, lay off of that, the poor guy!

What are you gettin' at, anyway?

You don't think it's just a gag of his? No, no I don't.

I'm damned sure he brought death here with him,

I can smell the cold touch of it upon him. Oh, bunk.

You got croakin' on the brain, Old Cemetery.

Say, do you mean you think she committed suicide

on account of his cheatin' or something?

It wouldn't surprise me. But that's crazy.

Jees, if she'd done that, he wouldn't tell us he was glad about it, would he?

You know her better than that, Larry. You know she'd never commit suicide.

She's like you, she'll hang on to life even when there's nothing... And what about you?

Be God, if you had any guts or decency!

I'd take that hop off the fire escape you're too yellow to take, I suppose, ah? No!

I'm done with... Yeah, I suppose you'd like that!

What the hell's all this about?

What do you know about Hickey's wife?

How do you know she didn't...? He doesn't!

Hickey's addled the little brains he's got.

Shove him back to his table, Rocky. I'm sick of him.

You heard Larry! So move, quick.

Gee, Larry... that's a hell of a way to treat me

after I've trusted you, and I need your help.

Jees... if she committed suicide, you gotta feel sorry for Hickey, huh?

You can understand how he'd go bughouse, and not be

responsible for all the crazy stunts he's stagin' here.

But how can you be sorry for him when he says he's glad she croaked? Oh, nuts!

I don't get nowhere tryin' to figure his game.

He better lay off of me and my stable.

Hey, Rocky, Cora wants a sherry flip, for her nerves.

"Sherry flip?"

Christ, she don't need nothin' for her nerve.

What's she think this is, the Waldorf? Yeah, I told her.

"What would we use for sherry?"

And there wasn't no egg unless she laid one.

She says, "Is there a law you can't go out" "and buy the makings, you big tramp?"

Ah, the hell with her! She'll drink booze or nothin'. Oh, jees!

A guy oughta give his bride anything she wants on her weddin' day, I should think.

Pipe the bridegroom, Larry! All dolled up for the killin'. Aw, shut up.

One week on that farm in Jersey, that's what I'll give you.

And you'll come runnin' in here some night yellin'

for a shot of booze because the crickets is after you.

Oh, jees, Chuck, that louse Hickey's certainly

made a prize couple of suckers outta you.

I'd like to get a quart of that redeye under my belt!

Well, why the hell don't you?

Sure, you'd like that, wouldn'tyou? I'm wise to you.

You don't wanna see me get married and settle down, like a regular guy.

You'd like me to stay paralyzed all the time, so I'd be like you, a lousy pimp!

Listen! I don't take that even from you, see?

Yeah? You wanna make somethin' of it? Don't make me laugh!

I can lick ten of you with one mitt!

Not with lead in your belly, you won't!

Hey you, Rocky and Chuck, cut it out!

Don't let that Hickey make you crazy.

Keep out of our business, you black bastard. Stay where you belong, you dirty nigger!

You white sons of bitches! I'll rip your guts out!

That's it! Murder each other, you damned loons!

With Hickey's blessing!

Didn't I tell you he brought death with him?

All right, you... let go of that shiv, and I'll put this gun away.

Hello, little people! Never mind.

Soon you will eat hot dogs beneath the willow trees, and drink free wine!

The champagne was not properly iced.

Goddamned liar, Hickey!

Does that prove I want to be aristocrat?

I love only the proletariat!

I will lead them! I will be like a God to them!

They will be my slaves!

I'm very drunk, no, Larry?

I talk foolishness.

I am so drunk, Larry, old friend, am I not?

I don't know what I say.

I've never seen you so paralyzed.

Now lay your head on the table and sleep it off.

Yeah, I should sleep... I'm too crazy drunk.

The bread's cut, and I have finished my job.

Now, do I get the drink I earned?

Here's the key to my room.

I ain't comin' back!

I'm goin' to my own folks where I belong.

I'm sick and tired of messin' around with white men.

What the hell?

I'm only savin' you the trouble, white boy!

Now you don't have to break it as soon's my back's turned,

so there's no white man can kick about drinkin' from the same glass!

I'm tired of loafin' around with a lot of bums.

I'm a gamblin' man.

I'm gonna get in a big crap game and win me a big bankroll.

And then I'll get the okay to open up my old gamblin' house for colored men.

And then maybe I comes back here sometimes to see the bums.

And maybe I throws a $20 bill down on the bar and says: "Drink it up," and listen when

they all pat me on the back and say: "Joe, you sure is white," but I'll say:

"No, I'm black and my dough is black man's dough!"

"And you's proud to drink with me or you don't get no drink!"

"You can all go to hell!"

"I don't lower myself drinkin' with no white trash."

And that ain't no pipe dream.

I'll get the money for my stake today, somewhere, somehow.

If I have to borrow a gun and stick up some white man, I gets it!

You wait and see.

Can you beat the nerve of that "dinge."

Jees, if I wasn't dressed up I'd go out and mop up the street with him. Oh, let him go.

The poor old dope, him and his gamblin' house.

He'll be back tonight askin' Harry for his room and bummin' me for a ball.

Then I'll be the one to smash the glass.

I'll loin him his place.

Another guy all dolled up.

Got your clothes from Solly's, huh, Willie?

Now you can sell it back to him again tomorrow.

No, I-I'm through with that stuff.

You look sick, Willie; here, take a ball, will pick you up.

Eh, no thanks, the only way to stop is to stop.

I'd have no chance if I went to the D.A.'s office

smelling of booze. You're really goin' there?

I said I was, didn't I?

I just came back here to rest for a few minutes.

I'll show that cheap drummer!

I don't need to have to have any Dutch courage.

But he's, he's been very kind and generous staking me.

You know, my, my legs are a bit shaky.

I better sit down a while.

Here's another one.

Hey, good morning, gentlemen all.

And a jolly good morning it is, too.

An eye-opener? I think not, Rocky, old chum... not required, you know?

Feel extremely fit, as a matter of fact.

Can't say that I slept much, though, thanks to that interfering ass, Hickey,

and that stupid bounder of a Boer.

I've had about all I can take from that fellow.

Oh, well, it's my own fault, I suppose, for allowing

a brute of a Dutch farmer to become familiar.

Well, it's come to a parting of the ways.

And jolly good riddance.

Oh, that reminds me... here's my key.

I shan't be coming back.

Sorry to be leaving good old Harry and the rest of you,

of course, but I simply cannot continue to live under the same roof with that fellow.

So Hickey's kidded the pants off of you, too?

You think you're leavin' here, huh?

Ja! That's what he kids himself.

Yes, I'm leaving, Rocky.

Not that that ass, Hickey, has anything to do with it.

But been thinking this over, you know?

Time I turned over a new leaf.

He's gonna get a job, that's what he says.

What at, for Christ's sake?

Oh, anything... not manual labor, of course.

Anything that calls for a bit of brains and education.

I'll see a pal of mine at the Consulate.

He promised me whenever I felt an energetic fit he'd get me a post with the Cunard.

Clark, in the office, something of that kind.

Ja! At Limey Consulate they promise anything to get rid of him when he comes there drunk.

They're scared to call the police and have him pinched,

because it would scandal in the papers make about a Limey officer and gentleman.

I only need the post temporarily, Rocky.

Means to an end, you know.

Save enough for a passage...

a first-class passage home, that's the bright idea.

He's sailing back to home, sweet home!

That's biggest pipe dream of all!

What little brain the poor Limey has left

that isn't in whiskey pickled, Hickey has made crazy!

Hickey ain't made no sucker out of you, eh?

That longshoreman boss, Dan, he tell me any time I like, he'd take me on.

And Benny, from de Market, he promise me same!

You remember, Rocky, it was one of those rare occasions

when the Boer that walks like a man, spelled with a double "O", by the way,

was buying drinks when Dan and Benny were stony.

They'd have promised him the bloody moon!

Yeah, yuh big boob.

Them birds was only kiddin' you.

That's lie! You will see, this morning I get job.

I'll show that... bloody Limey gentleman, and that liar, Hickey!

And I need work only little while to save money for my passage home.

I need not much money because I am not ashamed to travel steerage.

I don't put on first-cabin airs!

And I can go home to my country!

When I get there, they will let me in! Heh!

There was a rumor in South Africa that a certain Boer officer, if you can call

the leaders of a rabble of Dutch farmers officers,

he kept advising Cronje to retreat, and to not stand and fight.

And I was right! I was right!

He got surrounded at Poardeberg!

He had to surrender.

Good strategy, no doubt, but a suspicion grew afterwards into a conviction among the Boers

that the officer's caution was prompted by a desire for his personal escape.

His countrymen were extremely savage about it, and his family disowned him.

So I imagine there won't be any welcoming committee waiting on the dock...

nor any delighted relatives

making the "veldt" ring with their happy cries of "Welcome home, Gen. Wet..."

All lies! You Goddamned Limey!

I also have heard rumors of a Limey officer who after the war lost all his money

gambling when he was drunk.

But they found out it was regiment money, too, he lost!

Ah, you bloody Dutch scum!

Cut it out! Let him come!

I saw them come before! Modder River, Magersfontein,

Spion Kopje, waving their silly swords, so afraid they couldn't show how brave they was!

And I kill them with my rifle so easy!

Listen to me, you Cecil!

Often when I'm drunk and kidding you I say I'm sorry

I missed you, but now, by God, I am sober!

- And I don't joke, and I say it! - Be God!

You can't say Hickey hasn't got the miraculous touch to raise

the dead, when he can start the Boer War raging again!

Well... it's time I was on my merry way.

The early bird catches the job, what?

Good-bye and good luck, Rocky, and the rest of you.

By God, if that Limey can go... I can go.

Well, why don't you beat it?

Eh? Oh... just been thinking.

Hardly the decent thing to push off without saying good-bye to old Harry.

One of the best, old Harry, and good old Jimmy.

They ought to be down very soon.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I seem to be blocking your way out.

No... I will wait to say good-bye to Harry, too.

Jees, can you beat them simps!

Oh, hell, I forgot Cora! She'll be throwin' a fit!

That's right, wait on her and spoil her, you poor sap!

Psst! Look here, Parritt.

I'd like to have a talk with you.

About what? About the trouble you're in.

Oh, I know, I know, you don't admit it.

And you're quite right, that's my advice.

Deny everything, Say, what the hell are you accusing me of?

Make no statements whatever without consulting your attorney, keep your mouth shut.

Look, you can trust me, I'm a lawyer.

And it's occurred to me that you and I ought to co-operate.

You're crazy, what do I want with a lawyer?

Yeah, that's right, don't admit anything.

But you can trust me, so let's not beat about the bush.

You got in trouble out on the coast, eh?

Now you're in hiding, any fool can spot that.

You... feel safe here, and maybe you are for a while.

But remember, they get you in the end.

I know, from my father's experience.

Nobody could have felt safer than he did.

When anybody mentioned the law to him, he nearly died laughing.

But... You crazy mutt!

You hear that, Larry?

This damned fool here thinks the cops are after me!

I wish to God they were.

And so should you, if you had the honor of a louse!

Oh, and you're the guy who kids himself he's through

with the Movement; you're still in love with it!

You mean you're not in trouble, Parritt? I was hoping...Eh, never mind.

No, no offense meant... Parritt.

That's all right, Willie... I'm not sore at you.

It's that damned yellow faker that gets in my goat.

I think I understand, Larry.

It's really mother that you still love... isn't it?

In spite of that dirty deal she gave you.

But what the hell did you expect?

She was never true to anyone but herself and the Movement.

But Larry, I can, I can understand how you still can't help feeling.

See, because I still love her too.

So you see, I couldn't have expected that they'd catch her, Larry.

You gotta believe me that I only sold them out just to get

a few lousy dollars to blow in on a whore.

Now there's no other reason, honest!

For the love of Christ, will you leave me in peace!

If you don't keep still, you'll be saying something soon

that will make you vomit your own soul like a drink of nickel rotgut that won't stay down!

Larry, don't go! You've got to help me!

Set 'em up, Rocky! I swore I'd have no more drinks

on Hickey, if I died of drought, but I've changed my mind!

Be God, he owed it to me!

I'd be blind to the world now, if it was the Iceman of Death himself treating.

What made me say that, I wonder.

Oh, my God, it fits, for Death was the iceman that Hickey called to his home.

Oh, forget the iceman gag!

Come and sit here, Mac.

You're just the man I wanna see.

If I'm to take your case, we ought to have a talk before we leave. There'll be no talk.

You damned fool, do you think I'd have your father's son for my lawyer?

They'd take one look at you and bounce us both out on our necks.

Hmm! I don't need a lawyer, anyway.

Hell with the law!

All I've got to do is see the right ones, get them to pass the word.

They will, too, they know I was framed.

And once the word is passed, it's as good as done, law or no law!

Here's my key, Rocky.

I'd rather sleep in the gutter than spend

another night under the same roof as that drummer.

Son of a drummer! Well, you birds give me a pain.

Well, here we are, we got this far at least.

Good work, Jimmy.

I told you you weren't half as sick as you're pretending to be.

No excuse whatever for postponing now.

Kindly keep your hands to yourself.

I merely mentioned I would feel more fit tomorrow.

But... it might as well be today, I suppose.

Finish it now so it'll be dead forever, and you'll be free.

Well, cheer up, Harry.

You noticed your rheumatism didn't bother you coming down the stairs, didn't you?

You're the damnedest one for alibis, Governor.

I can't hear you... You're a liar!

I've had rheumatism on and off for 20 years.

Ever since Bessie died. Yes, we all know it's the kind of rheumatism you turn on and off.

We're on to you, you old faker!

Bejees, what are all you bums hanging round staring at me for?

Why don't you get the hell out of here

and 'tend to your own business, like Hickey's told you?

Yes, Harry, I certainly thought they would have

had the guts to have been gone by this time.

Or maybe I did have my doubts.

Because I know exactly what you're up against, boys.

I know you'll turn into such a coward that you'll grab

at any lousy excuse not to kill your pipe dreams.

And yet, as I've said over and over again,

it's exactly those damned lying tomorrow dreams

that keep you from making peace with yourself.

So you've got to kill them, like I did mine.

Well, come on, boys, get moving!

Who's going to start the ball rolling?

Well you, captain, and you, general.

You're nearest to the door.

And besides, you're old war heroes. You ought to lead this forlorn hope.

Well, come on, now!

And show us a little of that old Battle of The Modder River spirit we've heard so much about.

You can't hang around here all day looking like you were scared the street outside would bite you.

By God, if that Limey can, I can.

Well, next?

Come on, Mac.

It's a fine summer's day.

That's the stuff, Mac.

Good-bye, Harry, thanks for all your kindness.

That's the way, Willie.

Oh, the D.A.'s a busy man, Willie.

You can't keep him waiting all day, you know.

Good luck, Willie.

Now it's your turn, Jimmy, old pal.

Jimmy.

You can't do that to yourself, Jimmy, old pal!

One drink on top of your hangover on an empty stomach, you'll be oreyeyed.

Tomorrow... I'll be in good shape tomorrow!

All right, I'm going.

Take your hands off me!

Dirty swine!

All set for an alcohol rub!

I... no hard feelings, I know how he feels.

I wrote the book! I've seen the day if...

anybody forced me to face the truth about my pipe dreams, I'd have shot them dead!

Well, Governor... Jimmy made the grade.

Now it's your turn.

Leave Harry alone, damn you!

I'd make up my mind about myself if I were you, Larry, and not bother over Harry.

He doesn't need anyone's bum pity, do you, Governor?

No, bejees! Keep your nose out of this, Larry.

I've always been going to take this walk, ain't I?

You bums want to keep me locked up in here as if I was in jail!

I've stood it long enough.

I'll do as I damned please, bejees.

You keep your nose out too, Hickey.

Bejees, you'd think you was the boss of this dump, not me.

What the hell's to be scared of?

Sure I'm all right! Just taking a stroll around my own ward.

What's the weather like outside, Rocky? Fine day, boss.

Sorry I can't hear you.

Don't look fine to me.

Looks if it'd pour down cats and dogs any minute.

My rheumati... No, no, must be my eyes.

Half blind, bejees.

Makes things look black; I see now it's a fine day.

Too damned hot for a walk, though, if you ask me, eh?

Well, do me good to sweat the booze out of me.

But I'll have to watch out for the damned automobiles.

Wasn't none of them around the last time.

From what I've seen through the window, they'd run over you as soon as look at you.

Well, so long.

Bejees, where are you, Hickey? It's time we got started.

No, no, Harry, can't be done.

You got to keep a date with yourself alone.

Hell of a guy you are.

I thought you'd be willing to help me across the street,

seeing I'm half blind! Half "deef," too.

I can't hear those damned automobiles!

Oh, the hell with you!

I've never, never needed no one's help and I don't now.

I'll take a good long walk now I've started.

See all my old friends.

Bejees, they must have given me up for dead.

But they know it was grief over Bessie's death that made me...

Well, the sooner I get started...

You know, Hickey, that's what gets me.

I can't help thinking the last time I went out, was to Bessie's funeral.

After she'd gone, I didn't feel life was worth living.

I can't feel it's right for me to go, even now, Hickey.

It's like I was doing wrong to her memory.

Now, Governor, you can't let yourself get away with that one any more.

What's that? I can't hear you.

Bejees, I remember... clear as day, the last time before she...

It was a fine Sunday morning.

We went out to church together.

It's a great act, Governor, but I know better and so do you.

You never did want to go to church or any place else with her.

She was always on your neck, wanting you to have ambition

and go out and do things, when all you wanted to do was to get drunk in peace.

Can't hear a word you're saying.

He's a God damned liar, anyway!

Bejees, you son of a bitch! If there was a mad dog out there

I'd go and shake hands with it rather than stay here with you!

Jees, he made it!

I'd give you 50 to 1 he'd never...

Oh, he stopped.

I'll bet you he's comin' back. Of course he's coming back.

By tonight they'll all be here again, you dumbbell, that's the whole point.

No, he ain't neither! He's gone to the curb.

He's lookin' up and down, scared stiff of automobiles.

They ain't more than two an hour comes down this street, the old boob!

Bejees, give me a drink, quick!

Scared me out of a year's growth!

Bejees, that guy ought to be pinched!

Bejees, it ain't safe to walk in the streets!

Give me that bottle.

You seen it, didn't you, Rocky? Seen what?

That automobile, you dumb Wop!

Fella driving it must be drunk or crazy.

He'd run right over me if I hadn't jumped!

Larry, have a drink.

Come on, everybody, have a drink.

Have a cigar, Rocky, I know you hardly touch it.

This is one time I do touch it!

And I'm goin' to get stinko, see?

Well, jees, Harry! I thought you had some guts!

I was bettin' you'd make it and show that four-flusher up.

Automobile, hell! Who do you think you're kiddin'?

There was no automobile! You just quit cold!

I guess I ought to know! Bejees, it almost killed me!

Now, now, Governor, don't be foolish.

You've faced the test and you've come through,

and you're rid of that nagging dream stuff now. You know you can't believe it any more.

You saw it, didn't you, Larry?

Have a drink, have another! Have all you want!

We'll, we'll go, go on a grand old souse together.

You saw that automobile, didn't you?

Sure, I saw it, Harry, you had a narrow escape.

Be God, I thought you were a goner.

What the hell are you doing, Larry?

Remember what I told you about the wrong kind of pity, now leave him alone!

You'd think I was trying to harm him, the fool way you act.

Why, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for Harry, and he knows it.

All I wanted was to fix it so he'd finally be at peace with himself.

And if you'll just wait until the final returns are in,

that's exactly what I've accomplished.

Come on, Governor, what's the use of being stubborn, now when it's over and dead?

Give up that ghost automobile.

Yeah, what's the use now?

It's all a lie... no automobile.

Bejees, something ran over me.

Must have been myself, I guess.

I guess I'll sit down.

Feel all in.

Like a corpse, bejees.

Hello, Hugo, coming up for air?

You stay passed out, that's the right dope.

There ain't any cool willow trees, except you grow your own in a bottle.

Hello, Harry.

Stupid proletarian monkey-face!

Here... have a drink, Hugo.

Eh, no, thank you.

I'm too crazy drunk... I hear myself say crazy things.

Do not listen, please!

Larry will tell you, I've never been so crazy drunk.

I must sleep it off.

What's the matter, Harry? You look funny.

You look dead!

What's happened? I don't know you!

Listen... I feel I'm dying, too.

Because I'm so crazy drunk.

It's very necessary that I sleep!

I can't sleep here with you!

You look dead!

Another one who's begun to enjoy your peace.

Oh, I know it's rough on him right now, same as it is on Harry.

That's just the first shock.

I promise you they'll both be all right. And you believe that?

I'm afraid to live, am I?

And even more afraid to die!

So I sit here with my pride drowned on the bottom of a bottle,

keeping drunk so I won't see myself shaking in my britches with fright,

or hear myself whining and praying:

"Beloved Christ, let me live a little longer at any price.

"If it's only for a few days more, or a few hours even,

"have mercy, Almighty God, and let me still clutch greedily

"to my yellow heart, this sweet treasure,

"this jewel beyond price,this dirty, stinking bit of withered old flesh which

is my beautiful little life!"

You think you'll make me admit that to myself?

But you just did admit it, didn't you?

That's the stuff, Hickey.

Show that old yellow faker up.

He can't play dead on me like this.

Yes, you're gonna have to settle with him, Larry.

I'm leaving you entirely in his hands.

And he'll do as good a job as I could at making you give up the old grandstand bluff.

How's it coming, Governor?

Beginning to feel free, aren't you?

Relieved and not guilty any more?

Hmm, bejees! You must have been monkeying with the booze too, you interfering bastard!

There's no life in it now.

I wanna get drunk and pass out.

I'll admit I didn't think it'd hit him so hard.

He's always been a happy-go-lucky slob, like I was.

Well, it hit me hard, too, but only for a minute.

And then I felt as if a ton of guilt had been lifted off my mind.

I saw what had happened was the only possible way for the peace of all concerned.

What was it happened? Tell us that.

And don't try to get out of it, I want a straight answer!

I think it's something you drove someone else to do.

"Someone else?"

What did your wife die of?

You've kept that a deep secret.

That's not very considerate of you, Larry.

But if you insist on knowing now, there's no reason you shouldn't.

It was a bullet through the head that killed poor Evelyn.

Who, who the hell cares?

The hell with her and that nagging old hag, Bessie!

Christ! You had the right dope, Larry.

You drove your poor wife to suicide, I knew it.

Be God, I don't blame her! I'd almost do the same thing myself to get rid of you.

It's what you'd like to drive us all to...

I'm sorry, Hickey, I'm sorry.

I'm a rotten louse to throw that in your face.

Oh, that's all right, Larry.

But don't jump to conclusions.

I didn't say poor Evelyn committed suicide.

That's the last thing she'd have done, while I was

still alive so she could take care of me and forgive me.

No, if you'd known her at all, you'd never have such a crazy suspicion.

No, I'm sorry to tell you that my poor wife was killed.

She was murdered?

You're a liar, Larry!

You must be crazy to say that to me.

You know damn well she's still alive.

"Murdered?" Who done it?

Shut up, you dumb Wop! It's none of our damned business!

Leave him alone.

Still the old grandstand bluff?

Or just some more bum pity?

The police don't know who killed her yet, Rocky.

But I expect they will before very long.

How's it coming, Governor?

Getting over the first shock?

Beginning to feel free of guilt and lying hopes, and at peace with yourself?

Somebody croaked your Evelyn, eh?

Bejees, my bets are on the iceman!

But who the hell cares?

Let's get drunk and pass out.

Bejees, what did you do to the booze, Hickey?

There's no damned life left in it.

Larry, don't look like that.

You've got to believe what I told you! It had nothing to do with her!

It was for a few lousy dollars, honest!

You're beginning to worry me, Governor.

Something is holding you up somewhere, but I don't see why.

You've faced the truth about yourself.

You've done what you had to do to kill your nagging pipe dreams.

Oh, I know it knocks you cold.

But only for a minute.

Then you'll see it was the only possible way to peace.

And you'll feel happy, like I did.

That's what worries me about you, Governor.

It's time you began to feel happy.

1,30 A M-THE FOLLOWING MORNING

Come on, you damned nigger!

Beat it in the back room, it's after hours.

Oh, the hell with it! Let the dump get pinched.

I'm through with this lousy job, anyway.

Been scrappin', huh?

Started off on your periodical, ain't you? Yeah, ain't you glad?

That I'm out on my feet holdin' down your job?

You said if I'd take your day, you'd relieve me at 6:00.

And here it's 1/2 past 1:00 A.M.!

Well, you're takin' over now, get me?

No matter how plastered you are! Ah, "plastered?" Hell, I wish I was!

I've lapped up a gallon, but it don't hit me right.

And the hell with the job! I'm goin' to tell Harry I'm quittin'!

Yeah? Well, I'm quittin' too.

I've played sucker for that crummy blonde long enough,

lettin' her kid me into workin'; from now on I take it easy.

I'm glad you're gettin' some sense.

Yeah, I hope you're gettin' some.

By the way, the prize sap you've been,

tendin' bar when you got two good hustlers in your stable.

Yeah, but I ain't no sap now.

I'll loin them, when they get back from Coney.

Jees, that Cora sure played you for a dope.

Feedin' you that marriage-on-a-farm hop!

Yeah, Hickey got it right, a lousy pipe dream.

My pig's in the back room, ain't she?

I wanna collect the dough I wouldn't take this mornin',

like a sucker, before she blows it.

I'm comin', too, I'm through workin'.

I ain't no lousy bartender.

I'm waitin', baby, dig! Yeah.

I been expectin' you, I got it all ready here.

Jees, imagine me kiddin' myself I wanted to marry a drunken pimp. That's nothin', baby.

Imagine what a sap I'd have been when I can get your dough just as easy without it.

Hello, Old Cemetery.

Hello, Tightwad, you still around?

Ask Larry.

He knows I'm here, all right, although he's pretending not to.

He'd like to forget I'm alive!

He's trying to kid himself with that grandstand philosopher stuff.

I guess he got looking at the fire escape.

Thinking how handy it was, if he was really sick of life and only had the nerve to die!

And he's been thinking about me too, Rocky.

He's trying to figure a way to get out of helping me.

He loved her too, so he thinks I ought to take a hop off the fire escape.

For God's sake! Can't you say something?!

Larry!

Larry... I think what Hickey must have done

has got me so I don't know any more what I did or why.

I can't go on like this!

I've got to do what I got to do!

God damn you! Are you trying to make me your executioner?

Execution?

Then you, you think I...

I don't think anything.

Hickey's right about him, isn't he, Rocky?

An old no-good drunken tramp, as dumb as he is, ought to take a hop off the fire escape.

Sure, why don't he? Or you, or me?

Oh, what the hell's the difference? Who cares?

What am I doin' here with "youse" two?

I remember I had somethin' on my mind to tell you, what?

Oh, I got it now.

I was thinkin' how you was both regular guys.

I thinks "Ain't two guys like them saps to be hangin'"

"around like a couple of stew bums and wastin' themselves?"

What do you think, Parritt? You ain't a bad-lookin' guy.

You could easy make some gal who's a good hustler, and start a stable.

And I'll help you and wise you up to the inside dope on the game.

Well, what about it?

What if they do call you a pimp?

I don't want anything to do with whores!

I wish they were all in jail or dead!

All right, stay a bum!

Well, how about you, Larry? You ain't dumb.

Sure, you're old, but that don't matter.

All the girls think you're aces.

They fall for you like you were their uncle or old man, or somethin'.

They like takin' care of you.

And the cops around here, they like you too.

You wouldn't have to worry where the next drink's comin' from, or wear dirty clothes.

Well... don't it look good to you?

No, it doesn't look good, Rocky.

I mean, the peace Hickey's brought you.

It isn't contented enough, if you have to make a pimp of everyone else.

I'm a sap to waste my time on you.

A stew bum is a stew bum.

Like I was sayin' to Chuck, if anyone asks you,

you don't know nothin' about Hickey, get me?

You never even heard he had a wife.

Jees, we all ought to get drunk and stage a celebration

when that bastard goes to the chair.

Be God, I'll celebrate with you.

Drink to his long, long life in hell.

The poor devil!

No, that's pity, the wrong kind.

He'll welcome the chair.

Yes, what are you so damned scared about death for?

I don't want your lousy pity.

I hope he don't come back, Larry.

We don't know nothin' now.

We're only guessin', see?

But if that bastard keeps on talkin'...

He'll come back and he'll keep on talking.

He's lost his confidence that the peace he's sold us

is the real McCoy, and it's made him uneasy about his own.

He'll have to prove to us... That's a damned lie, Larry.

I haven't lost confidence.

By God, when I made up my mind to sell someone something

I thought they ought to want, I've sold 'em.

I mean, I don't think is very kind of you to make that kind

of a crack when I've been doing my best to help.

Keep away from me, will you?

I don't know nothin' about you, see?

Well, how is it coming, everybody?

I'm sorry I had to leave you for a little while,

but there was something I had to get finally settled.

It's all fixed now.

When are you going to do somethin' about this booze, Hickey? We can't pass out,

and you promised us peace!

Yes, yes! I wonder why that is.

For God's sake, Harry! You're still harping on that same damn nonsense?

You've kept it up all afternoon and night,

and you got everybody else singing the same crazy tune!

I've had about all I can stand, that's why I phoned.

Excuse me, boys and girls, I-I don't mean that.

It's just that I worry about you when you play dead on me like this.

I was hoping by the time I got back you'd be like you ought to be.

I thought you were deliberately holding back on me before

when I was here, because you didn't want to give me

the satisfaction of showing me that I had the right dope!

And I did have, I know from my own experience.

But I've explained that a million times.

Now you've all done what you needed to do.

By rights you should be contented with yourself, and

free from the lying hopes and nagging dreams that torment you.

But here you are, sitting around like a lot of stiffs cheating the undertaker!

I can't figure it...

unless it's just your damned stubborn pigheadedness.

Oh, hell... don't act like this with me, gang!

You're my old pals, the only friends I've got!

You know, the one thing that I want is to see you happy before I go.

And there's damned little time left now.

I've made a date for 2:00 o'clock.

So, we've got to get busy right away and find out what's wrong!

Can't you appreciate what you've got, for God's sake?

Don't you see you're free to be yourselves now, without feeling remorse or guilt,

or having to lie to yourselves about reforming tomorrow?

Don't you see? There is no tomorrow now!

You're rid of it forever, you've killed it!

You don't have to care a damn about anything any more!

You've finally got the game of life licked, don't you see that?

Then why the hell don't you get drunk and sing "Sweet Adeline"?

Why don't you laugh and celebrate, and get pie-eyed?

The only reason I can think of is you're putting on

this rotten half-dead act just to get back at me, because you hate my guts.

God, don't do that, gang!

It makes me feel like hell to think that you hate me.

Makes me feel that you suspected that I hated you.

But that is a lie!

Oh, I know I used to hate everybody in the world

that wasn't as rotten a bastard as I was, but that's when I was still living in hell!

Before I faced the truth.

And saw the one possible way to free poor Evelyn,

and give her the peace that she'd always dreamed about.

Oh, put a bag over it! To hell with Evelyn.

What if she was cheatin'?

And who cares what you did to her? That's your funeral.

We don't give a damn, see?

All we want outta you is keep the hell away from us and give us a rest!

The one possible way to make up to her for all that I made her go through,

and get her rid of me so that I couldn't make her suffer any more,

and she wouldn't have to forgive me again.

I saw I couldn't do it by killing myself, like I wanted to for a long time.

That would have been the last straw for her.

She'd have died of a broken heart to think that I could do that to her.

She'd have blamed herself, too.

Or I just couldn't run away from her.

She'd have died of grief and humiliation if I'd done that to her.

She'd have thought I stopped loving her.

You see... Evelyn loved me, and I loved her.

That was the trouble.

Oh, it would have been easy to find a way out if she hadn't loved me so much.

Or if I hadn't loved her.

But as it was, there was only one possible way.

I had to kill her.

Mad fool! Can't you keep your mouth shut?

We may hate you for what you've done this time,

but we remember the old times, when you brought laughter

and kindness here instead of death!

We don't want to know things that will make us help send you to the chair!

Oh, shut up!

You yellow faker! Can't you face anything?

Wouldn't I deserve the chair too if I...

It's, it's worse if you kill someone and they have to go on living.

I'd be glad of the chair.

It'd wipe it out and square me with myself.

I wish you'd get rid of that bastard, Larry.

I can't have him pretending there's something in common between him and me.

It's what's in your heart that counts.

And there was love in my heart, not hate.

You're a liar!

I don't hate her! I couldn't!

And anyway, it had nothing to do with her! You ask Larry!

God damn you, stop shoving your rotten soul in my lap!

Don't worry about the chair, Larry.

I know you're still terrified by death.

But when you've made peace with yourself, like I have, you won't give a damn.

Listen, everybody.

I've made up my mind, the only way I can clear this up for you,

so you'll realize how contented and carefree you ought to feel,

now that I've made you get rid of your pipe dreams,

is to show you what a pipe dream did to me and Evelyn.

And I'm certain, if I tell you about it from the beginning,

you'll appreciate what I've done for you and why I did it.

And how damned grateful you ought to be, instead of hating me.

You see, even as kids, Evelyn and me...

All we want is to pass out and get drunk, and a little peace!

All right, if that's the way you feel!

I don't want to cram it down your throats!

I don't need to tell anyone, I don't feel guilty.

I'm only worried about you.

In the back room if you wanna drink.

A guy named Hickman in the back room?

Think I know the names... Listen, you! This is murder.

It was Hickman himself who phoned in and said we'd find him here around 2:00.

So that's who he phoned to.

Yeah, he's in there, and if you want a confession all you got to do is listen.

You can't stop the bastard talkin'.

You see, even as a kid I was always restless.

I had to keep on the go.

You've heard the old saying that "Ministers' sons are sons of guns?"

Well, that was me and then some.

Home was like a jail.

Listening to my old man whooping up hell fire and scaring

those Hoosier suckers into shelling out their dough

only handed me a laugh! Although I gotta to hand it to him,

the way he sold them nothing for something.

I guess I take after him, and that's what made me a good salesman;

well, like I said, home was like jail, and so was school, and so was that damned hick town.

The only places I liked were the pool halls, where I could smoke Sweet Caporals

and mop up a couple of beers, eh?

Thinking I was a hell-on-wheels sport.

We had one hooker shop in town.

Of course I liked that, too.

Not that I hardly ever had the entrance money.

My old man was a tight old bastard.

But I liked to sit around in the parlor and joke with the girls.

And they liked me too, because I kid 'em along and make 'em laugh.

And you know how a small town is.

Everybody got wise to me.

They said I was a no-good tramp, but I didn't give a damn what they said.

I hated everybody in the place.

That is, except Evelyn.

And I loved Evelyn, even as a kid.

And Evelyn loved me.

Larry, I loved mother! No matter what she did!

I still do! Yes, sir, as far back as I can remember, Evelyn and I loved each other.

She always stood out for me.

She wouldn't believe the gossip, or she pretended she wouldn't.

No one could convince her that I was no good.

Evelyn was stubborn as hell once she made up her mind.

You know, even when I'd admit things and ask her forgiveness,

she'd make excuses for me and defend me against myself.

And she'd kiss me, she'd say that she knew

that I wouldn't do it again and I said that I wouldn't.

And I'd promise, I'd have to promise.

She was so damn sweet and good.

Yet I knew darned well...

No, sir, you couldn't stop Evelyn!

Nothing on Earth could shake her faith in me!

Even I couldn't!

She was a sucker for a pipe dream.

Well, naturally, her family forbid her seeing me.

They were one of the town's best, rich for that hick burg.

They owned the trolley line and the lumber company.

Strict Methodists, too; oh, did they hate my guts!

Even they couldn't stop Evelyn.

And she'd sneak notes to me and we'd meet me on the side.

But I was getting more restless.

The town was getting more like a jail.

I made up my mind to beat it.

I knew exactly what I wanted to be by that time.

I met a lot of drummers around the hotel, and I liked 'em.

They were always telling jokes, eh?

They were sports, always on the move, I liked their life.

And I knew I could kid people and sell things.

The hitch was, how to get the railroad fare to the Big Town?

Hell, I... I told Mollie Arlington my trouble.

She was the Madame of the cathouse.

She liked me.

"Hell, I'll stake you, kid.

"I'll bet on you, with that grin of yours and that line of bull

you ought to be able to sell skunks for good ratters."

Yeah, Mollie was all right.

She made me feel confident in myself.

Well, I paid her back too, first money I earned.

I remember sending her a kidding letter saying

that I was peddling baby carriages, and she

and the girls had better get in on our bargain offer!

That's getting ahead of my story.

That last night before I left town...

I had a date with Evelyn.

I got all worked up.

She was so pretty and sweet and good.

I told her straight.

"You better forget me, Evelyn, for your own sake."

"I'm no good and I never will be."

And I broke down and cried.

And she just said, looking white and scared: "Why, Teddy, don't you still love me?"

"Love you?

"God, Evelyn, I love you more than anything in the world.

And I always will."

She said:"Nothing matters, Teddy."

"Because nothing but death could stop my loving you.

"So when you're ready you send for me, and we'll be married.

"And I know I can make you happy, Teddy.

"And when you're happy, you won't want to do

any of those bad things you've done any more."

"Of course I won't, Evelyn."

And I meant it, I believed it.

I loved her so much she could make me believe anything.

You married her, you caught her cheating with the iceman,

and you croaked her, and all we want is to pass out in peace, bejees!

So I beat it to the Big Town!

I got a job easy, it was a cinch for me to make good, I had the knack.

It was like a game, sizing people up quick, spotting what their pet pipe dreams were,

and then kidding 'em along that line.

Pretending you believed what they wanted to believe about themselves.

Then they liked you, they trusted you.

They want to buy something to show their gratitude.

It was fun!

But still, all the while I felt guilty, as though

I shouldn't be having such a good time away from Evelyn.

In each of my letters I'd tell her how I missed her,

but I'd warn her, too; I'd tell her about my faults.

How I liked my booze every now and then, and so on.

But you couldn't shake Evelyn's belief in me, or her dreams about the future.

And then after each one of her letters, I'd be as full of faith as she was.

So when I got enough saved to start us off, I sent for her and we got married.

Christ, wasn't I happy for a while!

And wasn't she happy.

I don't care what anybody says, I'll bet there were never

two people who loved each other more than me and Evelyn.

Not only then, but ever afterwards.

In spite of everything I did.

Well, it's all there at the start, everything that happened afterwards.

Though I never could learn to handle temptation.

I'd want to reform and mean it.

Then I'd promise her, and I'd promise myself, and I'd believe it.

"It's the last time, Evelyn."

"I know it's the last time, Teddy."

"You'll never do it again."

And that's what made it so hard!

That's what made me feel such a rotten skunk!

Her always forgiving me.

My playing around with women, for instance.

It was just a harmless good time to me.

It didn't mean anything, but I'd know what it meant to her!

So I'd swear to myself "Never again."

But you know how it is, traveling around, those damned hotel rooms.

You get to seeing things in the wall paper.

I'd get so damn bored, so lonely and homesick.

But at the same time, sick of home.

I'd feel free, I'd want to celebrate a little.

Well, I never drank on the job so it had to be dames, any tart.

What I'd want was some tramp that I could be myself with, without being ashamed.

Someone I could tell a dirty joke to and she'd laugh!

Jees... all the lousy jokes I've had to listen to and pretend was funny.

Sometimes I'd try a joke that I thought was a real corker on Evelyn!

And she'd always make herself laugh.

But I could tell she thought it was dirty and not funny.

And she always knew about the tarts that I'd been with when I came home from a trip.

She'd kiss me and look in my eyes, and she'd know.

And I could see in her eyes her not wanting to know.

"Even if it is true, he can't help it."

"They tempt him, he's lonely, he hasn't got me.

"It's only his body, he doesn't love them.

"I'm the only one he loves," and she was right, too!

I never loved anyone else! Couldn't if I wanted to.

She forgave me even when it all had to come out in the open.

You know how it is when you keep taking chances.

You may be lucky for a long time, but you'll get nicked in the end.

I picked up a nail from some tart in Altoona.

Yeah, and she picked it up from some guy.

It's all in the game.

I had to do a lot of lying and stalling when I got home, but it didn't do any good.

The quack I went to got all my dough, and he told me I was cured, and I believed him.

But I wasn't... and poor Evelyn.

But she did her best to make me believe that she fell for my lie

about how... traveling men get things from drinking cups on... on trains.

Anyway, she forgave me.

The same way she forgave me every time I'd show up after a periodical drunk!

And you all knew what I'd look like after one of those, you saw me!

Like something lying in the gutter that no alley cat would lower himself to drag in!

Something they threw out of the D.T. ward at Bellevue!

Along with the garbage, something that should be dead!

But isn't.

Evelyn wouldn't have heard from me in a month or more.

She'd been waiting there alone.

The neighbors feeling sorry for her out loud and shaking their heads.

That was until she got me to move to the outskirts,

where there weren't any next-door neighbors.

Then the door would open... and I'd stumble...

looking like what I've just said.

Into her home, that she always kept so... spotless and clean.

And I'd sworn it would never happen again!

And now I'd have to start swearing again that this was the last time!

I could see disgust having a battle in her eyes with love, but love always won!

She'd make her-self... kiss me!

As though nothing had happened.

As though I'd just come home from a business trip.

She'd never complain or bawl me out.

Christ, can you imagine what a guilty skunk she made me feel!

If only once she admitted that her pipe dream about tomorrow,

and my behaving myself would never be any good!

But she wouldn't!

She was stubborn as hell!

Once she'd set her mind on anything, you couldn't shake

her faith that it had to come true tomorrow!

It was the same old story, over and over, for years and years.

And it kept piling up, inside her and inside me.

God, can you picture what I made her suffer?

And all the guilt that she made me feel?

And how I hated myself?

If she only hadn't been so damned good!

If she'd been the same kind of wife that I was a husband.

God, sometimes I used to pray that she'd...

"Go on, why don't you, Evelyn?"

"Serve me right, I wouldn't mind, I'd forgive you."

Of course I'd pretend I was kidding.

The same way I used to joke here about her being in the hay with the iceman.

She'd have felt so hurt if I'd said it seriously.

She'd have thought I'd stopped loving her.

I suppose you think I'm a liar, that no woman could have stood

all she stood and still loved me so much.

That it isn't human for a woman to be so pitying and forgiving!

Well, I am not lying!

And if you'd ever seen her, you'd realize that I wasn't.

It was written all over her face: Sweetness, love, pity, forgiveness.

Although, wait, I'll... show you.

I always carry her picture.

No, I'm forgetting... I tore it up afterwards.

I didn't need it any more.

Jees, Hickey! Jees!

I burnt up mother's picture, Larry.

Her eyes kept following me around all the time. They seemed to be wishing I was dead!

It kept piling up, like I've said.

I got so I thought about it all the time.

And I hated myself more and more,

thinking of all the wrong I'd done to the sweetest woman in the world that loved me so much!

It even got so I'd curse myself for a lousy bastard

every time I saw myself in the mirror!

I felt such pity for her it drove me crazy!

You'd never believe it, would you, Larry?

A guy like me that's knocked around so much could feel such pity!

It got so every night I'd...

wind up hiding my face in her lap, bawling and begging for forgiveness.

Of course she'd always comfort me and say:

"Never mind, Teddy, I know you won't ever again."

Christ, I loved her so.

But I began to hate that pipe dream!

I began to think I was going bughouse!

Because sometimes I couldn't forgive her for forgiving me!

I even caught myself hating her for making me hate myself so much!

You know, there's a limit to the guilt you can feel and the forgiveness and pity you can take!

You have to begin blaming somebody else, too!

It got so...

sometimes, when she'd kiss me, it was like she was doing it on purpose...

to humiliate me...

as if she'd spit in my face!

But I saw how crazy and rotten that was of me!

And I just hated myself more and more!

You'd never believe that I could hate so much!

Ah, Larry? A good-natured, happy-go-lucky... slob like me.

As the time got nearer to when I was due to come here

for my drunk around Harry's birthday, I got nearly crazy.

I kept swearing to her every night that this time I really wouldn't, until I'd made it

a real final test to myself and to her!

And she kept encouraging me and saying: "I can see you really mean it now, Teddy."

"I know you'll conquer it this time, and we'll be so happy."

And when she'd say that, and kiss me...

I'd believe it, too.

Then she'd go to bed, and I'd stay up because I couldn't sleep.

And I didn't want to disturb her, rolling and twisting around; I'd get so damned lonely!

I'd get to thinking how peaceful it was here.

Sitting around with the old gang, getting drunk

and forgetting about love; laughing and singing and joking, and swapping lies.

And finally I knew I had to come.

And I knew if I came this time, it would be the finish!

Because I'd never have the guts to go back

and be forgiven again! And that would break Evelyn's heart.

Because to her that would mean...

I didn't love her any more.

That last night I'd driven myself crazy trying to figure a way out for her.

I went into the bedroom.

I was going to tell her it was the end.

But I couldn't do that to her.

She was sound asleep.

And I thought "God, if only she'd" "never wake up, she'd never know."

And then it came to me.

The one possible way out, for her sake.

I remembered I'd given her a gun for protection

while I was away... it was in the bureau drawer.

She'd never feel any pain, she'd never wake up from her dream.

So I...

so I killed her.

I may as well confess, Larry.

There's no use lying any more; you know, anyway.

I didn't give a damn about the money, it was because I hated her.

And then I saw that I'd always known that was the only possible way

to give her peace, and free her from the misery of loving me.

And I saw it meant peace for me, too, knowing she was at peace.

I felt as though a ton of guilt was lifted off my mind.

I remember I stood by the bed and suddenly I had to laugh.

I couldn't help it, and I knew Evelyn would forgive me!

I remember I heard myself speaking to her,

as though it was something that I'd always wanted to say:

"Well, you know what you can do with your pipe dream now," "you damned bitch!"

No! I never... Yes, yes, that's it!

Her and that damned Movement pipe dream! Eh, Larry? No, that's a lie!

Good God, I could have never said that!

If I had, I'd have gone insane!

Why, I loved Evelyn better than anything in life!

Boys, you're all my old pals!

You've known old Hickey for years!

You know that I could never...

Harry! Harry, you've known me longer than anybody else!

You know that I must have been insane! Don't you, Governor?

Who the hell cares?

"Insane?"

You mean you went really insane? Yes!

Or I couldn't have laughed! I couldn't have said that to her!

That's enough, Hickman!

You know who we are, you're under arrest.

Come along and spill your guts where... Don't touch me!

You owe me a break! I phoned and made it easy for you, didn't I? Just a few minutes!

Harry, you know I couldn't say that to Evelyn, don't you?

Unless... And you've been crazy ever since?

Everything you've said and done here... Now, Governor!

Up to your old tricks, eh?

I see what you're driving at, but I ca...

Yes, of course, Harry!

Ahh! I've been out of my mind ever since, ever since I've been here!

You saw I was insane, didn't you?

Can it! I've had enough of your act.

Save it for the jury.

Now listen, you guys, don't fall for his lies.

He's starting to get foxy now and thinks he'll plead insanity.

But he can't get away with that.

Bejees, you dumb dick!

You've got a crust trying to tell us about Hickey.

We've known him for years, and every one of us noticed

he was nutty the minute he showed up here.

If you'd seen the damned-fool things he made us do!

We only did them because we...

because we, we hoped he'd come out of it, if we kidded him along and humored him.

Ain't that right, fellas?

That's right! A fine bunch of rats!

Covering up for a dirty, cold-blooded murderer!

Is that so?

Bejees, you know the old story.

When Saint Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland,

they swam to New York and joined the police force!

You stand up for your rights, bejees, Hickey.

I've still got friends at the Hall.

I'll have this guy back in uniform pounding a beat, where the only graft

he'll get will be stealing tin cans from the goats.

Listen, you cockeyed old bum! For a plugged nickel I'd...

Come on, you. Oh, I want to go, officer.

I can hardly wait now.

I should have phoned you from the house right afterwards.

It was a waste of time coming here!

I've got to explain to Evelyn, but I know she's forgiven me.

She knows I was insane.

You've got me all wrong, officer.

I want to go to the chair.

Crap!

God, you're a dumb dick!

Do you suppose I give a damn about life now?

Why, you bone head.

I haven't got a single damned lying hope or pipe dream left.

He's gone... poor crazy son of a bitch.

Bejees, I need a drink.

Maybe it'll have the old kick now he's gone.

Yeah, boss, maybe we can get drunk now.

I suppose you think I ought to make those dicks take me away with Hickey.

How could I prove it, Larry?

They'd think I was nutty 'cause she's still alive!

You're the only one who can understand how guilty I am.

Because you know her, you know what I've done to her.

You're the only one who can understand that I'm much guiltier than he is.

That what I did is a much worse than murder because she is dead, and yet she has to live!

For a little while... but she can't live long in jail.

She loves her freedom too much.

I can't kid myself like Hickey...

that she's at peace.

As long as she lives, she'll never be able

to forget what I've done to her, not even in her sleep.

She'll never have a second's peace.

Jesus, Larry, say something!

I'm not bluffing either that I was crazy...

afterwards when I laughed and thought to myself.

"You know what you can do with your freedom pipe dream now, don't you, you damned old bitch."

Go!

Get the hell out of life, God damn you! Before I choke it out of you!

Go up... go up!

Thanks, Larry!

I can see now that's the only possible way I can ever get free from her.

She'll finally be able to play the incorruptible.

Mother of the Revolution, whose only child is a proletariat.

She'll be able to say "Justice is done!"

"So may all traitors die!" She'll be able to say...

"I'm glad he's dead!"

"Long live the Revolution!"

You know her, Larry, she's always a ham!

Go, for the love of Christ! You mad tortured bastard, for your own sake!

Thanks, Larry, that's kind.

I knew you were the only one who could understand my side of it.

Hello, little Don, little monkey-face!

Don't be a fool, buy me a drink.

Sure I will, Hugo.

Tomorrow, beneath the willow trees.

Stupid fool! Hickey make you crazy, too.

I'm glad, Larry, they take that crazy Hickey away to asylum.

He makes me have bad dreams.

He makes me tell lies about myself.

He makes me want to spit on all I've ever dreamed.

Yes, I'm glad they take him to asylum!

Bejees, it's good to hear someone laugh again.

All the time that bastar... Eh... poor old Hickey was here, I didn't have the heart...

Bejees, I'm getting drunk and glad of it!

Come on, fellas, it's on the house!

Christ! Why don't he?

"Why don't he" what?

Ah, don't be a fool, Hickey's gone!

He was crazy! Here, have a drink.

What's the matter with you, Larry?

You look funny.

What do you listen for out in backyard?

Imagine us goin' off like we really meant to get married,

when we ain't even picked out the farm yet!

Sure thing, baby! We kidded him we was serious.

I may as well say, though, I detected his condition almost at once! Yeah.

All that talk of his about tomorrow, for example.

What's the matter, Larry?

You look scared!

What you listen for out there?

No, sir.

I wasn't fool enough to get in no crap game, not while Hickey's around.

The crazy people put a jinx on you!

It was of no good trying to explain to a crazy guy, but it ain't the right time!

Hey! You know how getting reinstated is.

Bejees, I'm cockeyed!

Bejees, you're all cockeyed!

And bejees, we're all all right!

Let's have another.

What's the matter, Larry?

Why you keep eyes shut?

Huff! You look dead!

What you listen for in backyard?

You crazy fool! You give me bad dreams, too!

Hello there, Hugo!

Welcome to the party!

Yes, bejees, Hugo! Sit down, have a drink!

Have ten drinks, bejees!

Hello, little Harry! Goddamned stupid bourgeois!

Soon comes the Day of Judgment!

Give me ten drinks, Harry.

Don't be a fool!

Gangway for two good whores!

Yeah! And we want a drink, quick!

Yeah, yeah! Shake the lead outta your pants, pimp!

A little service, eh? Well, look who's here!

Hello there, sweethearts.

Jees, I was beginnin' to worry about you, honest!

Yeah? What kind of gag is this?

Come on and join the party, you broads!

Bejees, I'm glad to see you!

Hey, what? Come on! What's come off here?

Where's that louse, Hickey?

Oh, the cops got him.

He's gone crazy and croaked his wife.

Oh, Jees!

So forget about that whore stuff.

I'll knock the block off if anyone calls you whores.

That's our little bartender!Ain't he, Pearl? Yeah, and a cute little Ginny at that!

And is he stinko!

Stinko is right, but he ain't got nothin' on us!

Jees, Rocky, did we have a big time at Coney!

Bejees, sit down, you dumb whores!

Welcome home, have a drink.

Have ten drinks, bejees!

Bejees, this is all right!

We'll make this my birthday party, and forget the other.

But who's missing? Where's the Old Wise Guy?

Where's Larry?

Oh, over by the window, boss.

Ah? He's got his eyes shut!

The old bastard's asleep! Oh, to hell with him!

Let's have a drink.

It's the only way out for him.

For the peace of all concerned, as Hickey said.

God damn his yellow soul!

If he doesn't soon, I'll go up and throw him off...

like a dog with its guts ripped out that you'd put out of its misery!

What the hell was that? What the hell was that?

Something fell off the fire escape.

A mattress, I'll bet!

Some of these bums have been sleepin' on the fire escape!

There ain't no... They've got to cut it out!

Bejees, this, this, this ain't no... fresh-air cure.

Mattresses cost money.

Poor devil!

God rest his soul in peace.

I'll never be a success in the grandstand or anywhere else.

Life is too much for me.

I'll be a weak fool, looking with pity at the two sides of everything 'till the day I die,

and may that day come soon!

I'm the only real convert to death that Hickey made here.

From the bottom of my coward's heart, I mean that now.

Hey there, Larry! Come on over and get paralyzed!

What the hell you doing, sitting there?

Bejees, let's sing, let's celebrate!

Bejees, it's my birthday party!

Bejees, I'm oreyeyed! I want to sing!

* Every Sunday down to her home we go *

* All the boys and all the girls they love her so *

* Always jolly heart that is true I know *

* She is the Sunshine of Paradise Alley *