Original subtitles

Trouble at the united nations,

Where crowds of angry protestors

Have gathered to protest a controversial speaker.

And, no, it's not spider-man. This time.

(indistinct protesting)

(beeping)

You seem a little tense, nick.

I don't like this assignment.

And neither should you.

For once, I agree with fury.

And, for once, I agree with hawkeye...

...Agreeing with fury.

I never said I liked the assignment.

But every person has the right

To speak up for his country.

Even him?

Even him.

So, captain america,

My body guard.

Captain america: Playing chess alone?

You can't get anyone to play with you?

None that are my equal.

Captain america: Let's cut to the chase, doom.

You might be playing the part of the latverian dignitary right now,

But you've never needed a bodyguard in your life.

Why are we here?

An enemy, a very dangerous enemy,

Has placed a price on my head.

Perhaps you've heard of them. The cabal?

The skull wants you destroyed?

I would have thought he would have offered you a membership.

He did. I refused.

He's taken my rejection as an act of war

And declared me his number one threat.

(scoffing) number one threat?

Skull's a dummy.

You're easily number three or four on our list.

Or two. Get it?

Number two.

Insults?

Don't you know the un is a place for diplomacy, stark?

Hulk: Don't like his style of diplomacy?

(grunting)

Try mine.

Hulk, stand down.

Seriously?

Doom is protected under diplomatic immunity.

Unless he does something wrong, we can't touch him

Or we're breaking the law.

Huh! Puny dictator.

Iron man: Does packing enough atomic firepower

To level the eastern seaboard

Count as doing something wrong?

You know the deal, doom.

Have it your way.

If my country is to thrive,

The world must join me against this threat of the cabal.

As fury has so

Eloquently illustrated,

Un rules state, no weapons

May be allowed on the floor.

Therefore, I am defenseless here,

Which is an invitation

For my enemies to strike.

That is where you come in,

Captain america.

The question for you is,

Are you with me,

Or against me?

(indistinct chattering)

Looks like a full house.

Of course. They respect me.

They fear you.

Is that not the same thing?

(crowd clamoring)

Man 1: Hey, give me your good side.

(grunting)

I'll show you my good side.

Man 2: You're supposed to be heroes!

Why are you protecting him?

It's a fair question, cap.

Why not just step aside and let these people

Show doom what his fan base really looks like.

Free speech, hawkeye.

If we don't protect his right to talk today,

Who knows, tomorrow it could be you.

Who says they do now?

Hulk: I'll give you a close-up!

Mortal laws confound me.

On asgard...

Iron man: You probably just pound each other

With oversized weapons, right?

You jest, but it works.

Iron man: Scans are picking up squat.

The most dangerous thing in a two-mile radius

Is the metal gargoyle next to cap.

Charming.

It must really rust your shorts to need our help.

If the avengers had been competent enough

To stop the cabal in the first place,

I wouldn't have to be here at all.

If the avengers are incompetent,

Why did you ask for us?

I didn't ask for the avengers, captain.

I asked for you.

On behalf of the general assembly, I have the

(clearing throat) honor to welcome to the united nations,

The sovereign ruler of latveria,

Dr. Victor von doom.

No weapons. That was the deal.

Greetings, honored delegates...

(voice repeating in mandarin)

(voice repeating in spanish)

A universal translator.

I allow no interpreters to mangle my words.

The world faces a great threat,

And as ruler of latveria,

The time has come for me to...

(rumbling)

(indistinct murmuring)

Down! Get down!

What? Who dare...

(crowd clamoring) (grunting)

Hyperion: Doom!

The cabal have found you guilty of treason.

This man is under the protection of the avengers.

Then you too shall face hyperion's judgment.

Run!

Doom does not run.

(grunting)

This is your last chance, doom.

Join the cabal or... Ah!

(both grunting)

(groaning)

Hyperion, the super alien.

Among your many attributes, super strength, super speed,

And I believe super hearing.

Run back to skull

And tell him doom's answer is no.

(echoing loudly)

(screaming)

Not a weapon, huh?

For those of superior intellect,

Words are weapons.

(grunting)

(stammering) you...

(shouting) you'll pay for that!

Hyperion, stand down...

(yelling) what? I said...

Speak up!

I said, "stand down."

(yelling) what?

I don't know what you said, doom,

But I'm going to destroy you for it!

(thor yelling) ugh!

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(screaming)

(grunting)

(grunting)

Don't look at me.

We're busy. You wanted this assignment.

Get doom out of here.

Cap to fury. The package is safe.

"package?"

"package?"

Fury: What's your 20? Will send pick-up.

Negative. Comms may be compromised.

I'll bring the package to you.

Follow me.

You do not order me.

I am the sovereign ruler...

No. You're my responsibility.

You wanted me as your bodyguard.

That means you do what I say

Until I have gotten you safely out of this.

Your insolence goes too far!

Wrong. It can go a lot further.

You want to see?

(cackling) skull! I've found them!

Get behind me.

Doom does not cower behind lesser men to hide from clowns!

(grunting)

(screaming)

Tell skull it will take more than a bloated

Automaton to destroy doom!

Tell skull yourself

When I throw your body at his feet!

(laughing)

(captain america grunting) huh?

You red, white and blue buffoon!

You should be trying to destroy doom as well!

I don't destroy, m.O.D.O.K. I save.

(grunting)

(yelling) (grunting)

(hulk roaring)

What? Unhand me, you troglodyte!

(both grunting)

You better go, 'cause after I smash m.O.D.O.K.,

I might just come after him.

Come on. I can't tell if hulk's joking.

I cannot. I am injured.

Hyperion: Dead end.

Prepare to burn!

Nowhere to run, doom. I will see you

Plead for mercy!

(hyperion groaning)

Ugh!

Captain america: Fury, change of plans.

The package needs medical help. Pronto.

Fury: Copy. How can we assist?

Get the team to play defense.

We're running for the end zone.

Avengers tower is about 15 blocks north.

We're going to have to hoof it there to get help.

You got the energy, victor? Ugh!

Avengers tower?

Do you take me for a fool? (wind whooshing)

You think I will willingly walk into my enemy's lair

And have my armor dismantled by tony stark?

The avengers are your only hope.

I would rather be destroyed.

Male voice: Not what I had in mind, doom.

An undead slave would suit me better.

Who addresses doom?

Trust me, victor. You don't want to know. (hissing)

(groaning)

I have been denied your blood for too long now, super soldier.

(grunting)

Be glad, soldier,

Knowing your sacrifice gave dracula,

The king of vampires,

His day in the

(groaning) sun.

(screaming)

You...

You saved my life?

Don't flatter yourself, bodyguard.

I still need someone to carry me out of here.

Ah, how sweet.

Dracula: There is no escape, mortals.

For that effrontery, I shall see you suffer for centuries!

Your souls are...

(groaning)

Was that you? Not this time.

(hissing) (thor grunting)

Doom, look out!

(grunting)

Captain, your honor is most impressive,

Though at times it confounds me.

Take your charge

And go.

Ready for round two, ghoul?

(growling)

(grunting)

Doom: The norse fool has a point.

Why don't you just leave me?

I gave you my word.

Besides, you're in no shape to fight these guys alone.

All you got is this lesser man.

You dare to pity me?

Even in this weakened state, you are not my equal.

I have conquered worlds,

Stolen the secrets of asgard,

Unraveled the riddles of time and space.

(panting) you are not

My equal.

In the present circumstances, victor,

I'll take that as a compliment.

(rumbling)

Swell. What now?

Male voice: Run, swine!

The skull was a fool to fear the likes of you.

(water gushing) there is no escape from attuma,

War lord of atlantis!

(gasping)

(gasping)

Victor, get up!

We need to get out of this water. Now!

(roaring)

Cry for mercy, dogs!

It will do you no good.

(grunting)

(grunting)

(groaning)

(grunting)

(grunting)

Cap, where are you headed?

The extraction point was three blocks back.

I'm taking him back to the tower.

Are you insane?

Bad enough this guy has brought

The whole cabal down on our heads.

Now you want to invite him to our home?

Barton, look at him.

(doom coughing)

(continues coughing)

Don't go down that way.

Adaptoid and hulk are remodeling the subway system.

We'll meet you as soon as we can this tuna.

(groaning)

(roaring)

(groaning)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(doom laughing)

What's so funny, doom?

Doom: There is more to you than I first imagined, captain.

You convinced those fools to act against their own self interests.

Impressive.

(dog barking) (man groaning)

(both grunting)

They trust me, victor.

Your translator know that word?

It's right next to "respect."

Doom: Trust? (clearing throat)

Have I not kept my word today?

(exhaling) I told you,

I was a target.

I am the victim.

How have I acted untrustworthy?

I haven't figured that out yet.

But when I do, I'll let you know.

Trust me. Ugh!

Hello, doctor.

It is good to finally see you face to face.

Run.

(laughing)

You are a greater fool

Than I imagined, doom.

So you're not as injured

As you would have everyone believe.

Interesting.

You grim, little troll.

I am doom!

Look around.

In your pitiful attempt to slay me, (helicopter hovering)

You have exposed yourself.

The world will watch as I crush you

And your useless cabal.

(grunting)

(whimpering)

M.O.D.O.K?

Good. Two birds, one fist!

Yield, surface-dwellers!

Please. Like I'm going to listen

To a walking pile of seafood.

(roaring)

(grunting)

Avengers, I got eyes on cap,

And it looks like he could use some backup.

(groaning)

Stand and fight,

Foul creature of the shadows!

Dracula: Have respect, prince of asgard,

For you speak to a king! (hissing)

(roaring)

(iron man grunting)

Get off me!

(grunting)

(growling)

Ah!

Hyperion, you fool! Stop!

What?

(groaning) (grunting)

(red skull laughing)

Good bye, victor, to you and your bodyguard.

(grunting)

What? Why?

(groaning)

Never presume to lecture doom

(coughing) on how to earn respect.

(groaning)

Ah!

(groaning)

Iron man, is doom...

Iron man: No, but his armor's battery cells are depleted.

His support systems are seizing up.

He's got about two minutes.

(grunting)

Go, captain! We will hold them!

(growling) (grunting)

Cabal! Stop him!

Run fast. I only have so many arrows, you know.

(explosion)

(growling) (grunting)

Not today, robot!

Tomato-face need a hug?

Huh?

(captain america grunting)

Huh?

Iron man: Jarvis! Coming in hot.

Jarvis: Welcome back, captain.

How many for the party? (beeping)

Where were we?

Only two this time.

(groaning)

(grunting)

Skull, we have the tower defenses to the front of us,

And the avengers to the rear!

Another day, doom.

And stay out!

Jarvis, give me a full diagnostic report.

I need to find a way to recharge doom's suit before...

Jarvis: Sir, I do not believe that is necessary.

But tony's scanners...

Fooled by superior technology.

(grunting)

Please.

Security override.

(grunting) ah!

(grunting) all of this, a trick?

Not entirely.

Skull does want me dead.

And, after his cabal's recent successes

Against you and the avengers,

I knew I must do something

Or risk becoming irrelevant.

(grunting) (groaning)

(grunting) (groaning)

I used skull's brashness to my advantage.

A risky gambit, I admit.

But I had a secret weapon. Captain america. (panting)

A man who accomplishes miracles

Through sheer will alone.

Now that I have these data bases,

Skull will not be the only one

With stark's pre-play algorithms.

Not to mention schematics for countless weapons,

Access codes to shield's computers.

And sizable bank accounts.

Worth the effort, wouldn't you say?

(rumbling)

(roaring)

(grunting) huh?

Wait. Teleported?

Gone.

Now, stark, let me see your mind.

Surprise.

Not what you expected?

What?

Turns out cap wasn't as knocked out

As he pretended to be.

When you so spryly fought back skull,

He guessed what you were playing at.

I signaled tony.

It allowed him time to install

A trojan horse program into the data banks.

Risky.

You could simply have not brought me into your tower.

You were still under diplomatic immunity.

I had no proof.

The best part, when you fled the country with my property,

You violated international law.

Your immunity? Gone.

You ever set foot outside of latveria again,

You'll be under arrest.

And I'll be the one standing there.

Trust me.

What?

(high-pitched laughter)

No!

No!

No!

That is a nasty piece of malware.

It'll keep his power grid offline for weeks.

Doom will not be happy.

Excellent.

Couldn't we have just punched him?

No, hulk. We couldn't make our move until he revealed himself,

Or we would've been the ones on the wrong side of the law.

Remind me to never get on your bad side, cap.

What are you talking about, hawkeye?

Don't you know? I'm the good guy.

I don't have a bad side.

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