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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,171 (BUZZES) 2 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,427 Chas? 3 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,187 Breakfast? 4 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,024 You're up. 5 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,747 CHAS: Yeah. 6 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,337 You're gonna be late for work, Dana. 7 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,206 DANA: Cornflakes or Rice Krispies? 8 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,475 It's all right. I'll get my own. 9 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,636 DANA: Oh. 10 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,643 Confirmed bachelor, aren't you? 11 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,885 A fella last night in the club... 12 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,930 said that my voice was wasted on cabaret material. 13 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,232 CHAS: Oh, yeah? 14 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,478 DANA: Shall I come over tonight? 15 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,453 CHAS: I'll call you at the club about 2. 16 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,121 Half past. 17 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,456 - DANA: Two? - Two, or half past. 18 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,142 Morning, Rose. 19 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,357 It's 8:00 in the evening, right? The kiddies are still viewing, ain't they? 20 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,567 (HORN HONKING) 21 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,694 You bastard foreign female. 22 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:41,339 I mean, there's ketchup all over the screen. 23 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,634 - Geezer's got half his ear hanging off. - Disgusting. 24 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,219 I mean, how are the kids gonna grow up? 25 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,385 - It's not right. - Definitely not. 26 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,014 - Where to, Chas? - The minicab depot. 27 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,693 Put your tie on. 28 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,321 HARLEY-BROWN: Gentlemen of the jury... 29 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:27,576 I would solemnly suggest to you that what are really on trial here today... 30 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,079 are the ethics of a community. 31 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:34,124 Our national economy, even our national survival... 32 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:37,795 devolves upon the consolidation, by merger... 33 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:41,340 of the smaller and weaker economic units... 34 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:45,987 with the larger and lustier pillars of our commercial context. 35 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:49,223 What did I tell you? What did I tell you? Look at this pigsty. 36 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,474 (WOMAN SHRIEKS) 37 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,476 (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO) 38 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,020 Correspondence not answered. 39 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,647 - Nothing to do with us. - Clear out. 40 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,732 - Shh. - MAN (OVER RADIO): Hello? Hello? 41 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:02,879 - CHAS: I want that pig, Pooley. - POOLEY: Man, what's it about? 42 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,405 - Are you Pooley? - Yes, I am. 43 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,699 You're a disgrace, an incompetent disgrace. 44 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,535 - You're not fit to run a... - Business is business... 45 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,214 and progress is progress. 46 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,331 - CHAS: Where's your brother? - At the pictures. 47 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,500 - Answer yes or no. - It's around the office. 48 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,044 - This gentleman... - CHAS: Filth and disorder. 49 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:23,007 You need help. Help and protection. We offered it, my governor, personally. 50 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,509 You had an appointment. He waited 15 minutes... 51 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,678 - ...you slag, 15 minutes. - He checked the letter. 52 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:30,764 You call this a service to the public? Look at this equipment. 53 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,266 Not maintained, is it? 54 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,475 (POOLEY GRUNTS) 55 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:36,029 You're a technician, Mr. Wilson. Makes you weep, eh? 56 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,661 MOODY: Yeah, makes me weep. 57 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,367 - POOLEY: No, don't. - It's obsolete. 58 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,109 (CRASHING) 59 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,862 HARLEY-BROWN: It is alleged by the prosecution... 60 00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,448 that the dividend of 15 percent... 61 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:51,003 which was declared on the non-voting B shares... 62 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:54,371 was indeed fraudulently designed... 63 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:58,292 solely to expedite this admittedly bold... 64 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,971 but in no way unethical, merger. 65 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:05,483 I say, merger, gentlemen, not takeover. 66 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,551 Words still have meanings... 67 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,980 even in our days of the computer. 68 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,847 The question is: 69 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,652 Was my client a party to that fraud? 70 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,397 Innuendo is a method I despise. 71 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,233 Therefore, I say bluntly... 72 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:27,780 that already, you have heard sufficient to point to the responsibility... 73 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,550 and guilt of another party. 74 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,618 A guilty man, gentlemen... 75 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,121 whose identity I shall not shrink from establishing... 76 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:40,000 in the course of my presentation of the case for the defense. 77 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,835 Hello, Chas. 78 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:45,756 You be there tomorrow at Number 11 Monk Street. 79 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:50,437 Five thirty on the dot. Do you understand? 80 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:57,101 Well, son, how was the clientele tonight? 81 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,936 Spot on, Harry, no aggravation. 82 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:01,438 What about this lawyer guy? Did you get to see him? 83 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,941 That man, I submit, should be standing... 84 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,860 where my unfortunate client now stands. 85 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:10,781 - I can rely on that, eh? - It'll be straightened out in the morning. 86 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:15,285 He's a nutcase. Like all artists. But I can rely on him. 87 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:18,465 - CHAS: I know my... - Business is business. 88 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,889 And progress is progress. 89 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:27,172 In the fluid state of business ethics, pertaining today... 90 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:31,719 we must protect the inalienable right of the smaller businessman... 91 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,524 to be conjoined in commercial union... 92 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:40,370 (FILM PROJECTOR WHIRRING) 93 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,898 MAN: You want to turn off the electricity and cut the gas... 94 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,826 CHAS: You're worth it. Come on, Greasy. 95 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,028 - MALTESE: Don't you understand? - CHAS: Eighty-five pounds. 96 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,990 MALTESE: I've got the new furnace coming in. I already had to pay it. 97 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,451 Mr. Molloy, you bleeding me white. 98 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:58,130 - You're wasting my time. - MALTESE: White as the wall. 99 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,831 Would you like a drink? Huh? You like it with ice or...? 100 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:03,751 You stink. You stinking foreign parasite. 101 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:07,101 - Excuse me. - MALTESE: Shh. Please, my customers. 102 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,728 MALTESE: Theresa, please hold the door. 103 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:18,492 You know, I don't think I'm gonna let you stay in the film business. 104 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,284 MALTESE: Ow! 105 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,789 British justice. 106 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,550 CHAUFFEUR: Here, what the...? 107 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,710 - Ooh. All right, let's keep our hair on, eh? - Why? 108 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,712 - Mr. Fraser? - FRASER: Yes? 109 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,881 I've got a message for you. 110 00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,800 From an old pal. 111 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:57,471 An old pal and an old partner, who wants you to know, number one... 112 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:01,934 that he's ever so upset about all this aggravation you got. 113 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,312 And number two, don't involve old pals. 114 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,481 Not even a little bit. 115 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,817 - You follow me, Mr. F? - If you're an emissary... 116 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:12,152 from Mr. Harold Flowers, it would be most improper for us... 117 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,071 Shh, shh, shh. Don't interrupt. 118 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,406 And no subpoenas for old pals, old mate. 119 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,118 And no snide insinuations in court, neither. 120 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,620 Look here. I'm Mr. Fraser's counsel, and I warn... 121 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,390 I know that. Now shut your hole, Mr. Counsel. 122 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:28,127 - What did you say? - Do you follow me, Fraser? 123 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,753 - Hole. - CHAS: Now let's face it. 124 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,397 They're gonna convict you. 125 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,882 It's better to spend five years of your life... 126 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,435 in a nice comfy nick... 127 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,429 than the rest of your miserable existence in a filthy wheelchair. 128 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,358 - Are you threatening my client? - You bet I am, poncey. 129 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,698 Do you follow me, eh? 130 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,413 Boy? 131 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,292 Hmm. I do. 132 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,821 - Yeah. Good. - Now listen to me. 133 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,716 I must insist you address your remarks to me. 134 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,425 Address my remarks? 135 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,628 Okey-dokey. Why not? 136 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,798 Mr. Butler, we got his address, haven't we? 137 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,478 Why not, Mr. Humphrey? If he insists. 138 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,107 (SNIFFS) 139 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,769 Best of luck, Mr. Fraser. 140 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,022 You don't intimidate me... 141 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,481 - Nor my client. - Shh, shh. 142 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:34,331 - FRASER: George. - Fraser. 143 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,556 - Morning. - MAN: Morning. 144 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,338 (CHOKING) 145 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,312 - MOODY: Easy. - ROSEBLOOM: Good morning, mate. 146 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,718 CHAS: A tasty finish. 147 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,147 A man of taste. 148 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,514 Looks after his property, your owner, does he? 149 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:07,364 - CHAUFFEUR: Mm! - Does he? 150 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,468 (HISSING) 151 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,147 We've only got a gallon and a half. 152 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,719 Better not waste it, eh? 153 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,647 Well, next time. 154 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,161 MAN (ON RADIO): The foreign secretary... 155 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,366 (BLUES MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO) 156 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,596 MOODY: Hold up, pal, you'll do yourself a mischief. 157 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,391 (ROSEBLOOM HUMMING) 158 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,219 This takes me back. 159 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,722 Your old man was a barber, wasn't he, Rosie? 160 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,348 No. 161 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:31,619 - No, he wasn't. - CHAS: Shut your hole, Moody. 162 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,437 No soap on the gentleman's collar. 163 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,206 ROSEBLOOM: Sorry, sir, it was an accident. 164 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,796 MOODY: Hair today and gone tomorrow. 165 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:52,640 I said shut your bloody hole! 166 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,476 MOODY: He's a right nut, he is. Isn't he? 167 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,699 Now, I want you to mention what's happened here to your owner. 168 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,309 Tell him I'll be in touch. 169 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:17,616 MAN (ON RADIO): The Mississippi Delta, an area of nearly 13,900 square miles... 170 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,169 Trend-setting, sir, what? 171 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,083 HARRY: I can rely on him. 172 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,853 I can't say more than that, can I? 173 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,767 CHAS: Thanks, Harry. 174 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,601 HARRY: Fourteen thousand quid we offered. 175 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,148 I call that equitable. 176 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:50,347 Three grand a week that boy's grossing, or I'm a communist. 177 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,933 - What's this about? - Gordon, what we got in that file? 178 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:57,705 Joey Maddocks, Licensed Betting Office, 469 Fulham Road, acquisition of. 179 00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,523 Plus our letters, sir. 180 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,733 Now, what's all this about Joey Maddocks? 181 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,662 - You steaming into that slag? - Of course not. 182 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,572 He's been invited to join... 183 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:11,618 our associated group of companies, my son. 184 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:15,205 All he needs, Harry, is a little nudge. 185 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:18,305 I'll nudge him for you, don't you worry about that, pal. 186 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,519 DENNIS: We've been courteous. 187 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,685 Courteous and generous. 188 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,385 He's an old friend of Chas'. 189 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:33,140 Good pals, they was. Like that since they was kids. 190 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,225 Game boy, eh, Chas? 191 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,601 And a blinding left hand. 192 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,229 Bastard. Soon as he come into the poxy business, he... 193 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:44,109 - Now, now, calm down, Chas. - Come on, Harry. You know I'm... 194 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,653 He's a lying slag, he's a grass, and you know it. 195 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,906 Come on, son. Water under the bridge, that is. 196 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:53,034 - CHAS: You know what I mean, Harry. - All right, all right. 197 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,328 Well, tomorrow he learns... 198 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,599 what's true and what's not. 199 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,378 Like small businesses in this day and age... 200 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,339 - ...he's against nature. - Lovely, Harry, I'll learn him. 201 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,632 (BLOWS NOSE) 202 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,470 No. Rosie's gonna handle this part of nonsense. 203 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,431 I want that shop redecorated tomorrow night. 204 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,224 Get the Brown boys, they like a laugh. 205 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,893 - Mad Cyril? - HARRY: Why not? 206 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,102 What? 207 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,480 - Pop in, pop out. - ROSEBLOOM: Absolutely. 208 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,374 You know what I mean? Be... 209 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,817 Placatory. Of course. 210 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:29,279 - Hold on, Harry. - I like that, Gordon. Turn it up. 211 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,530 (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 212 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,990 DENNIS: You want him to stay on and manage...? 213 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,825 Of course we do. 214 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,595 His name stays over the door if he wants. 215 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,706 - Right under ours. - Let me see to the ponce, Harry. 216 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,209 I'll decorate him and his shop. 217 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,294 Don't you ever listen to a word I say? 218 00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:47,297 Keep personal relations out of business. 219 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,715 - Excuse me, but... - Out! 220 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,017 Aye. 221 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:54,679 Right, your relations with Joey was double-personal. 222 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,389 Right? 223 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,808 Right then. And what's my other thing I say? 224 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,907 My motto? 225 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:08,329 At the death, who is left holding the sodding baby? 226 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,961 No, go on, what else? 227 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,035 Harry Flowers. 228 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,384 Right again. 229 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,250 Me. 230 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,459 Me. 231 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,433 Me. 232 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,484 Me. 233 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,638 All right. At ease, gentlemen. 234 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,862 Anyone for a nightcap? 235 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,917 - POLICEMAN: We need a signed statement. - JOEY: What for? 236 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,754 POLICEMAN: Containing your allegations against Mr. Flowers. 237 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:53,173 - Allegations? - POLICEMAN: Allegations. 238 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:56,343 Found it outside. Clean it. Lots of filth around. 239 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:59,022 JOEY: Yeah, cheers, Steve. Uh, listen... 240 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:03,767 I'm not making actual allegations. 241 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,911 I can't do that. 242 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,869 Well, I mean, I... 243 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:14,378 I got no proof, have I? 244 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,864 Looks like you've got a war on your hands, Joey. 245 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,324 JOEY: I'll give a grand... 246 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:24,329 if I could get that Mr. Harry "Pervert" Flowers... 247 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,164 right here, right now. 248 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,458 I'll give a grand in readies. 249 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,807 Dirty degenerate. 250 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,726 Will I do? 251 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,466 JOEY: What? 252 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:41,398 I'd have rung up first, Joey, but your lines is always busy. 253 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,903 All five of them. 254 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,693 - Let's go. - What do you mean? 255 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,588 Harry Flowers is waiting for you. 256 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,411 That geezer, that's the one, isn't it? 257 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,386 - Eh, Joey? - You stay out of this. 258 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:14,730 Hold up, that was him that left with him. 259 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:17,340 HARRY: Look at this Vietnam strife. 260 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,175 Down with red tape, eh? 261 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,428 No taxman around here, my son. 262 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:24,347 JOEY: But, Harry, I'm still a bit worried about my future. 263 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,683 Worried? That I will not allow, my son. 264 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,060 Anyone worries you, you tell me about it. 265 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,105 You're on the firm now, Joey. One of me own. 266 00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:35,775 United we stand, divided we're lumbered. 267 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:38,528 Took over? No, Joey. 268 00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,572 The word is "merged." 269 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,824 You was merged, my son. To old England. 270 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,172 (WOMAN LAUGHS) 271 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,203 Jack, tell Chas to come over and have one with us, eh? 272 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,873 - Yeah, sure, Harry. - Harry, that shop... 273 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,459 - Exactly. - Listen, no, it's my whole life, Harry. 274 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:56,755 Exactly, Joey. Mine too. Mine too. 275 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,590 Speaking of which, Dennis... 276 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,426 I'm not at all happy about the tactless manner... 277 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,887 which Joey was brought here in. 278 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:07,223 Chas, I told you not to bother Mr. Maddocks, didn't I? 279 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,641 A whiskey, please, Dave. 280 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,269 - Right away, Chas. - Oh, was I tactless? 281 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:15,732 Making him say that thing about his poor dead father? My God. 282 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:19,152 - Let's take this chat upstairs, shall we? - Who do you think you are? 283 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,403 The Lone Ranger? 284 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:23,878 - I know who I am, Harry. - HARRY: Of course you do, son. 285 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:26,659 You're Jack the Lad. 286 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,995 I've known a few performers in my time. 287 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:32,391 But I tell you this, he's got the gift, boy. 288 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:36,266 - Right, Denny? - He enjoys his work. 289 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:40,173 - That's the half of it. - Do you think he does, Denny? 290 00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:44,052 - Oh, I do. I get a load of kicks out of it. - Which can be a good thing, Chas. 291 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,650 CHAS: Putting a little stick about. 292 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,365 Putting the frighteners on flash little twerps. 293 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:53,770 But it can also be a tricky thing. And I'll tell you why. 294 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:57,941 Because you can get to enjoy your work too much, my son. 295 00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,916 And it can slip your mind that... 296 00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:04,113 you're bloody working for me, you berk! 297 00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:08,243 And when I say me, I mean... Tell him what I mean, Jack. 298 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,578 - You mean, um, you, Harry. - No. 299 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,121 - The business. - The business. 300 00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,123 - That's what he means. - Correct him one. 301 00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:16,125 DENNIS: In which you're a cog, boy. 302 00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,294 A cog in an organ. 303 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:21,798 - Go to hell, Dennis. I know what I am. - It's the business of business... 304 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:23,442 to push the buttons. 305 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,438 And I'm alive and well. 306 00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:32,159 You push the buttons on that thing. 307 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,978 Right. We push them. Us. 308 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:38,815 This terrific democratic organization. Right, Joey? 309 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:41,276 - Right, Harry. - Same again. All around, Dave. 310 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:44,487 - Let me do this one, Harry. - The world's a dodgy place, my friends. 311 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:47,156 I can't help that. But we've got progress. 312 00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,491 Look at the Yanks. 313 00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,743 - The New World. - Organization. 314 00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:52,796 Listen, Chasm. 315 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:57,138 (CHATTERING) 316 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,844 That boy's in bother. 317 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:09,345 Up here. 318 00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:11,973 He's an ignorant boy. 319 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,902 An out-of-date boy. 320 00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:38,888 (YELLING) 321 00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:44,231 CHAS: Let go. 322 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:48,143 STEVE: Get it. Get it. 323 00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:51,189 (GRUNTING) 324 00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,576 STEVE: Come on, Joey. 325 00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:07,876 STEVE: Come on, you slick... 326 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,920 JOEY: Hold his arms now. That's it. Hold him. 327 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,812 JOEY: Go on then. 328 00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:29,560 STEVE: Come on, Brien. Give us a hand over here. 329 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,396 Shall I...? Shall I decorate him, eh, Joey? 330 00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:44,246 No. No. I'm not one of those. 331 00:24:44,775 --> 00:24:46,734 I'm not him. 332 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:47,944 (CHAS GRUNTS) 333 00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:50,418 - CHAS: You love that, don't you? - You little twerp. 334 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,508 You vicious little twerp! 335 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,128 Say it! 336 00:24:58,205 --> 00:24:59,848 Say it. 337 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,394 Say it. 338 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,472 Say it. 339 00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:09,437 Come on! Say it! 340 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,313 (CHAS GRUNTS) 341 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:24,076 Chas, say it. 342 00:25:24,606 --> 00:25:27,984 I am... 343 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,878 Yes! 344 00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:36,960 He's out, Joey. 345 00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:39,296 Get some water. Water. 346 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:53,022 - Give him the kiss of life, Joey. - You shut your filthy mouth! 347 00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,896 (JOEY YELLING) 348 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,282 (GRUNTING) 349 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,425 Chas. 350 00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:24,466 Look. 351 00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:27,060 Chas. 352 00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:32,853 You remember me, Chas. 353 00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:34,818 We... 354 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:36,862 Listen, look... 355 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,817 Do you remember Mick? 356 00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:43,785 Remember? 357 00:26:44,061 --> 00:26:48,992 Chas, what's the point... 358 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:51,998 of this? 359 00:26:56,323 --> 00:27:00,827 You can't do that. 360 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:03,551 I am a bullet. 361 00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:17,982 (JOEY CHOKING) 362 00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:21,899 Oh, God, my chest hurts. 363 00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,661 Look what you've done. 364 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,872 Help me. 365 00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:43,161 You're dead, Joey. 366 00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,931 You can stay... 367 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:48,383 yesterday... 368 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,627 until... 369 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:54,647 tomorrow. 370 00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:59,353 (WATER RUNNING) 371 00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,830 CHAS: Get out of my flat. 372 00:28:20,991 --> 00:28:22,417 (DOOR CLOSES) 373 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:30,958 POLICEMAN: Hey, you! 374 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:32,260 (WHISTLES) 375 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,103 Just a minute. 376 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,617 POLICEMAN: Don't you bloody move. 377 00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:03,508 (PHONE RINGING) 378 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,348 Harry, I won't mince words. 379 00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:29,058 You're more than involved. 380 00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:31,185 You're incriminated. Look at the facts. 381 00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,395 - DENNIS: The facts. - One... 382 00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:34,772 I'll tell you the facts. Business facts. 383 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,900 Soon as they pick up Devlin, they'll be all over us, my friends. 384 00:29:37,901 --> 00:29:43,002 Press, taxman, copper, the lot. You know what they're gonna call us? 385 00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:46,547 They'll call us gangsters. 386 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:50,214 - It'll be goodbye to business. - We'll be as popular as Hitler. 387 00:29:50,372 --> 00:29:54,222 I know you would, pal. I know. 388 00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:57,938 Well, I just don't know anywhere, mate. But honestly... 389 00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:01,090 - HARRY: Where is he? - ROSEBLOOM: We're looking, Harry. 390 00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:04,760 Six figures a year, we're into. Six figures. 391 00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:07,905 And now this little bastard... 392 00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:10,617 He's put us in the stuck. 393 00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:13,912 Pity he exists. 394 00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:22,320 I never sent him. It was me told him not to go. 395 00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:25,740 Don't get your personal relations mixed up in my business. 396 00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:29,160 - I told him. - Told him? Oh, that's a joke. 397 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,912 Like telling a mad dog who to bite, that is. 398 00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:34,081 I was bitten by a dog once. 399 00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,055 When I was a kid. 400 00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:39,879 - It was a wirehaired terrier. - HARRISON: Harry, I'm your legal adviser. 401 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,715 You could be charged with conspiracy to murder. 402 00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:44,142 (PHONE RINGING) 403 00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:52,600 Hello? 404 00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:54,810 CHAS (ON PHONE): Hello? Can I speak to Mr. Flowers? 405 00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:57,146 - Hello, Chas. - CHAS (ON PHONE): Is Harry there? 406 00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:59,482 HARRISON: Yes, Chas, of course he's here. 407 00:30:59,483 --> 00:31:02,457 Harry, it's Chas. 408 00:31:09,785 --> 00:31:11,744 HARRY: Hello, Chas. Are you hurt bad? 409 00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:14,705 Not too bad. You know already, eh? 410 00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:16,804 It was just, uh... 411 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:19,210 Just an accident. 412 00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:21,879 Harry, I've gotta get off the street. 413 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,006 HARRY: Yes, Chas. 414 00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:26,275 Yes, all right. 415 00:31:26,635 --> 00:31:29,609 We'll try to work something out. 416 00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:33,265 Harry, you know I'd never lumber you. 417 00:31:33,266 --> 00:31:36,018 It's down to me this aggravation, but I've gotta get in. 418 00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:38,162 HARRY: Where are you? 419 00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:42,371 Chas, hold on a minute. 420 00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:49,253 He's at Wandsworth Bridge Road. 421 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,717 Moody? 422 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:53,712 What? 423 00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:56,831 What would you do, Moody? 424 00:31:56,832 --> 00:31:58,349 MOODY: Me? 425 00:31:58,625 --> 00:32:00,472 With a mad dog, Moody? 426 00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:07,233 When a poor sick animal is liable to bite you? 427 00:32:08,385 --> 00:32:09,937 Bite me? 428 00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:13,148 Without meaning to. 429 00:32:13,306 --> 00:32:15,153 I'd put him to sleep, Dennis. 430 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,738 (WHISTLING) 431 00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:28,247 Harry? Hello? 432 00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,587 Hello? 433 00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:39,674 Hello? Harry? 434 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:57,975 I don't need the details, my son. Off you... Off you go. 435 00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:01,145 I can rely on him. I can't say more, can I? 436 00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:03,494 He's an artist, eh? 437 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:07,035 My bath's running. 438 00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:16,887 CHAS: I can't explain now, Mom, but it's as bad as can be. Now listen... 439 00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:18,514 - WOMAN (ON PHONE): But, Charlie... - Now listen, Mom. 440 00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:21,141 - But where are you, Charlie? - I must go away. 441 00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:23,435 Now. Right away. 442 00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:24,687 I might go to Aunt Mary. 443 00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:26,981 - Your Aunt Mary? - Down in Devon. 444 00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,857 Yes, go there. 445 00:34:28,858 --> 00:34:31,411 They won't know of her. Not down in Barnstaple. 446 00:34:31,528 --> 00:34:33,612 - Right. - Now, behave yourself, mind. 447 00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:35,030 Yeah. 448 00:34:35,031 --> 00:34:37,825 - Give her my love, won't you? - Okay, thanks. 449 00:34:37,826 --> 00:34:39,594 - Ta-ta, Mom. - Bye, Charlie. 450 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:46,417 CHAS: I said Barnstaple, not Exeter. 451 00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:50,754 CLERK: I said change at Exeter, mate. Seven twenty-two. Platform four. 452 00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,308 Gets in at 10 past. 453 00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:23,884 One and 10 for sandwich, love. 454 00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:25,581 - Hello, Ma. - WOMAN: Noel. 455 00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:27,930 Thanks, Ma. You're a darling. 456 00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:34,048 NOEL: He said, "You call that rock 'n' roll?" 457 00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:37,569 I said, "That's the sound, Mr. Payne. That's what I'm selling you, man." 458 00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:41,221 He said, "My God, that's a black sound. It's four times blacker than you." 459 00:35:41,222 --> 00:35:42,931 Liverpool. Tsk. 460 00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:46,101 NOEL: So I said, "Cool it, man. Cool it. It's a bad sound." 461 00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:48,103 WOMAN: I'll tell you who comes from Liverpool. 462 00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:50,064 - Mary Tinkling. - "I'll buy it," he says. 463 00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:53,233 - "You got a gig for six weeks." - He's a shrewd one, is that. 464 00:35:53,234 --> 00:35:55,778 So Mr. Turner's gonna sublet your room then, is he? 465 00:35:55,779 --> 00:35:59,049 NOEL: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. 466 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:00,632 I told him. 467 00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:04,078 I said, "Turner, you are my landlord... 468 00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:08,082 to which I owe 41 pound back rent... 469 00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:11,933 which I will send to you from Liverpool pretty soon." 470 00:36:12,045 --> 00:36:15,756 He said, "Yeah?" So I said, "Listen. Listen, baby. 471 00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:17,132 All my things. 472 00:36:17,133 --> 00:36:20,803 All my gear, all my sounds, my big horn. Everything. 473 00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,596 My whole life stays right here... 474 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:26,902 at 81 Powis Square in this little basement room." 475 00:36:27,102 --> 00:36:30,326 He says, "Okay, my son, go." 476 00:36:30,563 --> 00:36:32,898 I should try to find a cool subtenant... 477 00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:35,275 who has respect for another person's life. 478 00:36:35,276 --> 00:36:38,153 WOMAN: That Turner, drug addict. 479 00:36:38,154 --> 00:36:41,253 - NOEL: Come on, Mom. He's just like... - He's peculiar. 480 00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:44,844 He's peculiar. He's a hermit. 481 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:48,247 He can't face reality. That's what it is. 482 00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,581 (NOEL CHUCKLES) 483 00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:51,759 A world of their own, these kids. 484 00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:05,899 Powis Square, Notting Hill Gate. 485 00:37:49,476 --> 00:37:50,777 (RINGS) 486 00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:07,002 (RINGS) 487 00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:13,749 WOMAN (OVER INTERCOM): This is a recording. Speak now what you want. 488 00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:15,083 (WOMAN BLOWS A RASPBERRY) 489 00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:16,710 Hello, is Mr. Turner there? 490 00:38:16,711 --> 00:38:18,754 WOMAN (OVER INTERCOM): Speak on the third peep. 491 00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:21,757 - Peep. Peep. Peep. - Oh, uh... 492 00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:24,760 Uh, I'm a... I'm a friend of Noel's. 493 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:26,220 An old friend. 494 00:38:26,221 --> 00:38:27,471 It's about the room. 495 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,765 - WOMAN (OVER INTERCOM): So... - The basement room. 496 00:38:29,766 --> 00:38:31,350 I've just seen him off actually. 497 00:38:31,351 --> 00:38:33,449 Me and his mom. 498 00:38:34,187 --> 00:38:37,272 Oh, good morning. Are you there? I'm a bit on the early side. 499 00:38:37,273 --> 00:38:39,871 WOMAN (OVER INTERCOM): You've got the wrong house, mister. 500 00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:42,795 - Fruit off. - No, listen. 501 00:38:43,279 --> 00:38:45,155 - I've got it right here. - Right where? 502 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:48,659 - The back rent. It's 41 pound, right? - Mm. 503 00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:52,496 He said, "Just settle up with Mr. Turner and the room's yours, pal." 504 00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:54,248 - Stroke of luck, eh? - You think so? 505 00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:56,500 CHAS: I'm in the entertainment business. You know... 506 00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:59,378 show business. And I saw Noel at the railway... 507 00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:01,056 Hello? Hello? 508 00:39:01,381 --> 00:39:04,007 WOMAN (OVER INTERCOM): Oh, yes, yes. Is that you? 509 00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:06,718 - Yes. - The basement room, in the basement. 510 00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,428 That's it, dear. That's it. Yeah. 511 00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:10,764 - Down the back stairs. - Yeah. 512 00:39:10,765 --> 00:39:12,191 (BUZZER SOUNDS) 513 00:39:12,976 --> 00:39:15,352 WOMAN (OVER INTERCOM): Push! 514 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,479 Do it again a bit longer. 515 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,657 (BUZZER SOUNDS) 516 00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,412 (BANGING) 517 00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:16,715 - Hello. - I didn't recognize your voice. 518 00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:18,206 - CHAS: No? - PHERBER: No. 519 00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:20,305 Oh, no. I've been away, haven't I? 520 00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:23,211 And I don't recognize your face. 521 00:40:23,212 --> 00:40:25,139 My face? 522 00:40:25,882 --> 00:40:27,382 Oh, uh... 523 00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:29,051 Well, you should see the motor. 524 00:40:29,052 --> 00:40:31,553 - PHERBER: See the what? - My motor. 525 00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:35,265 We had a little argument with a cement wall on the way up from Dover. 526 00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:37,694 Goodbye, the Ferrari. 527 00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:42,244 It's down here, right? 528 00:40:42,523 --> 00:40:44,274 First left I think he said. 529 00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,452 Oh, my mistake. 530 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:52,240 PHERBER: Goodbye, the Rolls Royce. 531 00:40:52,241 --> 00:40:54,326 I know what you mean. 532 00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:57,871 Look after my gear, pal. My big horn. 533 00:40:57,872 --> 00:41:00,332 CHAS: Yeah, there I was just back from the continent... 534 00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:03,126 from a continental tour and this had to happen. 535 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:06,021 Oh, very nice. 536 00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,675 It's characteristic. 537 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:11,603 I'll take it. 538 00:41:14,305 --> 00:41:15,857 Uh-huh. 539 00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,863 Dean's the name. Johnny Dean. 540 00:41:20,770 --> 00:41:22,145 Look, regards from Noel. 541 00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:24,147 I got 41 pounds for you. 542 00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:25,565 I owe it to him actually... 543 00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:28,318 but that's another story, and I won't bore you with it. 544 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:32,572 So, uh, a week in advance will be, uh... 545 00:41:32,573 --> 00:41:34,125 Sixty-six pounds. 546 00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:35,993 - Sixty-six pounds. - Plus... 547 00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:39,047 one week deposit on the fittings and the fixtures... 548 00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:42,791 plus, I should have a banker's reference. 549 00:41:42,792 --> 00:41:45,561 Listen, uh, that's, uh... 550 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,767 Extortionate? 551 00:41:49,132 --> 00:41:53,608 - Of course. - Uh, well, uh, I'd say that was... 552 00:41:54,887 --> 00:41:58,111 - One hundred and thirty-two pounds. - Oh. 553 00:42:04,147 --> 00:42:06,064 How do you entertain? 554 00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:07,742 (YAWNS) 555 00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:11,695 - I juggle. - Juggle? 556 00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:15,073 Juggle, juggle. I've got a load of bookings here in London. 557 00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:16,626 They're all A-one venues. 558 00:42:18,703 --> 00:42:21,802 - No luck, have I? - No. 559 00:42:27,462 --> 00:42:29,856 (CHATTERING) 560 00:42:42,435 --> 00:42:44,783 LORRAINE: Hey, Mom, when's Christmas? 561 00:42:49,233 --> 00:42:51,251 (SINGING) 562 00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:06,509 (CAMERA WHIRRING) 563 00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:13,924 Goodbye, the Ferrari. 564 00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,602 (LAUGHS) 565 00:43:50,461 --> 00:43:52,058 (CAMERA CLICKS) 566 00:43:53,422 --> 00:43:56,145 (CAMERA WHIRRING) 567 00:43:56,843 --> 00:43:58,269 (WHIRRING STOPS) 568 00:44:07,395 --> 00:44:08,787 (CAMERA CLICKS) 569 00:46:30,538 --> 00:46:33,387 (LORRAINE SINGING "ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS") 570 00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:40,518 You're pissed. 571 00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:46,688 - Hey. - Oh! You've had one over the eight. 572 00:46:47,763 --> 00:46:49,306 No, I haven't. 573 00:46:49,307 --> 00:46:50,807 I'm the new lodger. 574 00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:52,684 Do you want an aspirin? 575 00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:55,520 - Want a cup of tea? - Yeah, that'll be lovely. 576 00:46:55,521 --> 00:46:57,744 - Have you got some turps? - Turps? 577 00:46:58,274 --> 00:47:02,044 - Do you wanna earn a bob? - Two bob, mate. 578 00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,404 All right. 579 00:47:04,405 --> 00:47:06,990 Go and buy me a bottle of turpentine. 580 00:47:06,991 --> 00:47:08,793 Five bob, mate. 581 00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:12,971 Half a dollar. 582 00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:16,008 Okay. 583 00:47:18,961 --> 00:47:21,796 LUCY: So I say to this guy at the office: 584 00:47:21,797 --> 00:47:24,174 "Why are you so mean?" 585 00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:28,094 - And he just say, "Your visa is finished." - TURNER: Please. 586 00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:31,765 LUCY: "And... And you're... You're not in a place of learning, right?" 587 00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:33,641 Right. 588 00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:35,477 LUCY: "And you've got... 589 00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:38,646 And you've got to get out of the British Kingdom... 590 00:47:38,647 --> 00:47:40,523 ...and to go back to France." 591 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:42,609 That's really insanity. 592 00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:44,986 You poor little thing. 593 00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:46,654 When was all this? 594 00:47:46,655 --> 00:47:50,450 I don't know. Last week I think it was. 595 00:47:50,451 --> 00:47:51,868 Last month. 596 00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,244 So I say: 597 00:47:53,245 --> 00:47:55,455 "Pherber is teaching me English, you know... 598 00:47:55,456 --> 00:47:58,124 and that his boyfriend is learning me his books... 599 00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:00,769 and everything... My magic stories!" 600 00:48:03,339 --> 00:48:05,173 First thing in the bloody morning. 601 00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:08,968 LUCY: And then he asks me, "Where are you living?" 602 00:48:08,969 --> 00:48:12,013 - I say, "I don't remember." - I've got a crippled tap dancer... 603 00:48:12,014 --> 00:48:13,390 in my bloody basement. 604 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:16,643 - LUCY: He said, "This is very illegal." - Yeah, he said that. 605 00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:19,687 So I said, "The Hilton Hotel." 606 00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:22,357 TURNER: Listen, I don't want any more bums in my basement. 607 00:48:22,358 --> 00:48:23,733 A juggler, madam. 608 00:48:23,734 --> 00:48:25,276 - TURNER: I don't want her. - Juggler. 609 00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:27,153 - I don't want her. - You'd love her. 610 00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:29,673 Yeah, you might like her. 611 00:48:29,782 --> 00:48:31,241 You'd love him. 612 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:33,590 Do you think I should wash my hair? 613 00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,745 - Mm-mm. No. - LUCY: And he said: 614 00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:37,372 "You juvenile in moral danger." 615 00:48:37,373 --> 00:48:40,347 - TURNER: Go on. - "And you're not desirable." 616 00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:41,935 (PHERBER GIGGLING) 617 00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:47,382 So I said, "You stupid shit." 618 00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:50,482 And I spit and I ran away. 619 00:48:50,886 --> 00:48:54,055 TURNER: Well, just when I got my skull completely empty. 620 00:48:54,056 --> 00:48:55,858 Shower? 621 00:49:02,064 --> 00:49:04,399 PHERBER: Plus banker's deposit. 622 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,235 Plus money for fixtures and fittings. 623 00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:08,611 LUCY: So I didn't get my visa. 624 00:49:08,612 --> 00:49:11,406 PHERBER: Plus references for one week. 625 00:49:11,407 --> 00:49:13,992 - LUCY: Well, I'm not worried. - Plus one week on account... 626 00:49:13,993 --> 00:49:17,287 that makes 167 pounds. 627 00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:20,182 Here, give it to me. I'll do it. I'll do it. 628 00:49:20,416 --> 00:49:24,346 - LUCY: Oh, they'll never find me. - PHERBER: There you are. Beautiful. 629 00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:26,230 (GIGGLES) 630 00:49:27,089 --> 00:49:29,562 - I'm not worried. - Nope, you shouldn't worry. 631 00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:32,510 Anyone want a cup of tea? 632 00:49:32,511 --> 00:49:35,439 LUCY: Where's my porridge, Lorraine? 633 00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:38,575 Tony! Your uncle for you! 634 00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:41,737 Put them over there, mate. 635 00:49:44,940 --> 00:49:46,708 Oh, yeah. 636 00:49:47,359 --> 00:49:49,944 - Chas? - What's happening in the outside world? 637 00:49:49,945 --> 00:49:52,623 TONY (ON PHONE): Ain't you seen the papers yet, mate? 638 00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:56,326 - No, I haven't bothered. - They've really gone to town on you, son. 639 00:49:56,327 --> 00:49:58,504 - You are the front page. - Oh, yeah? 640 00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:01,664 - What else? - Well, I've had the filth. 641 00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:04,542 And I've had the firm. Well, the law, that was nothing. 642 00:50:04,543 --> 00:50:07,378 But your friend, Rosybloom, he's funny, isn't he? 643 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:09,506 - No aggravation? - No, no. 644 00:50:09,507 --> 00:50:11,341 But stand on me, uncle. 645 00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:13,968 It weren't your welfare he was on about. 646 00:50:13,969 --> 00:50:15,845 PHERBER: Actually... 647 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:21,403 he's obviously very, very deeply involved with Noel. 648 00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:26,481 I don't want any invalid... 649 00:50:26,482 --> 00:50:31,413 washed-up cabaret artists in my beautiful basement, sir. 650 00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:33,571 Tony, I'm getting out. 651 00:50:33,572 --> 00:50:35,749 Out of the country. 652 00:50:36,158 --> 00:50:38,381 TONY (ON PHONE): Out of the country? 653 00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:41,621 Now listen, Tone. 654 00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:44,175 I'm gonna tell you where I keep my rainy-day money. 655 00:50:46,961 --> 00:50:50,265 TURNER: You shoot too much of that shit, Pherber. 656 00:50:51,924 --> 00:50:56,650 Too much vitamin B12 has never hurt anybody. 657 00:50:56,845 --> 00:50:58,513 Behind the boiler, you mean? 658 00:50:58,514 --> 00:51:00,487 CHAS (ON PHONE): Well behind. Persevere. 659 00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:02,517 There's two grand in that bag, Tone. 660 00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:05,992 First off, I want you to nick a drink for yourself. Five hundred quid. 661 00:51:07,314 --> 00:51:08,773 You're a gentleman, Chas. 662 00:51:08,774 --> 00:51:10,191 No, I want you to have it. 663 00:51:10,192 --> 00:51:11,568 You and Marge. 664 00:51:11,569 --> 00:51:13,319 Now second off... 665 00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,613 I've gotta get a passport. 666 00:51:15,614 --> 00:51:17,949 There's a geezer... Have you got a pencil? 667 00:51:17,950 --> 00:51:20,493 Cypriot geezer. His name is Thanopoulos. 668 00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:23,454 Hey, Johnny, Mom says do you want an egg? 669 00:51:23,455 --> 00:51:26,040 CHAS: You got that, Tone? Goodbye. 670 00:51:26,041 --> 00:51:28,876 LORRAINE: And Turner says will you come up and see him, please. 671 00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:32,147 All right, Lorrie. I'll be up. 672 00:51:34,758 --> 00:51:37,218 - What a freak show. - Where are you then? 673 00:51:37,219 --> 00:51:38,720 Oh, you know, on the left. 674 00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:41,240 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - I'll tell you this, Tony. 675 00:51:41,557 --> 00:51:43,859 It's a right pisshole. 676 00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:46,144 Long hair... 677 00:51:46,145 --> 00:51:47,645 beatniks... 678 00:51:47,646 --> 00:51:49,994 druggers, free love... 679 00:51:50,149 --> 00:51:52,167 foreigners, you name it. 680 00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:55,069 But I'm not bothered, Tone. I'm well in. 681 00:51:55,070 --> 00:51:57,498 And you couldn't find a better hidey-hole. 682 00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:11,432 In you go, Dad. 683 00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,484 (DOOR CLOSES) 684 00:53:37,798 --> 00:53:39,382 CHAS: Afternoon, Mr. Turner. 685 00:53:39,383 --> 00:53:42,562 Good afternoon, Mr., uh... 686 00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:46,819 There's been a mistake. 687 00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:49,058 You can't have the room. 688 00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:50,476 CHAS: What? 689 00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:52,654 It's not for rent. 690 00:53:53,689 --> 00:53:55,523 CHAS: Wait a minute. The lady just said... 691 00:53:55,524 --> 00:53:58,577 TURNER: The lady said? 692 00:53:59,111 --> 00:54:01,487 I don't tell her everything. 693 00:54:01,488 --> 00:54:03,961 She's my secretary. 694 00:54:04,074 --> 00:54:06,718 I got a lot of work to do. 695 00:54:07,035 --> 00:54:09,463 Under a lot of pressure. 696 00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:12,540 Here. 697 00:54:12,541 --> 00:54:14,559 No, I don't want it. 698 00:54:16,044 --> 00:54:18,045 TURNER: That carpet's 200 years old. 699 00:54:18,046 --> 00:54:19,630 It looks it. 700 00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:21,228 A valuable antique, is it? 701 00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:29,974 Listen, I got to say goodbye now. 702 00:54:29,975 --> 00:54:32,685 Mr. Turner, I've got all my luggage, my stage gear... 703 00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:35,409 it's all coming here from the continent. 704 00:54:35,564 --> 00:54:37,231 TURNER: Your what? 705 00:54:37,232 --> 00:54:41,378 My luggage. My juggling, you know, stuff. 706 00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:43,821 Why don't you go to a hotel? 707 00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:47,366 A hotel? You must be joking. 708 00:54:47,367 --> 00:54:50,620 Look, I need a... 709 00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:53,372 I need a bohemian atmosphere. 710 00:54:53,373 --> 00:54:57,098 I'm an artist, Mr. Turner. 711 00:54:57,544 --> 00:54:59,562 Like yourself. 712 00:55:01,089 --> 00:55:04,592 - You juggle? - Why not? 713 00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:08,095 Why, why not? Why not a jongleur? 714 00:55:08,096 --> 00:55:10,890 It's the third oldest profession. 715 00:55:10,891 --> 00:55:14,685 You're a performer of natural magic. 716 00:55:14,686 --> 00:55:17,772 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 717 00:55:17,773 --> 00:55:19,916 I... I perform. 718 00:55:19,942 --> 00:55:21,943 I bet you do. 719 00:55:21,944 --> 00:55:24,779 I can tell by your vibrations... 720 00:55:24,780 --> 00:55:27,424 you're the anti-gravity man! 721 00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:31,256 Amateur night at the Apollo. 722 00:55:32,287 --> 00:55:34,214 Cheops in his bloody pyramid. 723 00:55:34,790 --> 00:55:37,559 He dug a juggler or two, didn't he? Remember? 724 00:55:43,298 --> 00:55:45,466 And the tetrarchs of Sodom... 725 00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:47,468 and Orbis Tertius. 726 00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:50,096 Am I right? Am I right, babe? 727 00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:51,848 More or less. 728 00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:54,559 Personally, I just, you know... 729 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,737 perform. 730 00:55:56,979 --> 00:55:59,782 Oh, you're a modest chap. 731 00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:07,446 Because after all, there was only one. Only one. 732 00:56:07,447 --> 00:56:09,782 - Only one what? - And right you are. 733 00:56:09,783 --> 00:56:11,409 Enrico Rastelli. 734 00:56:11,410 --> 00:56:15,121 - You said it all, pal. - Juggler to the King of Tuscany. 735 00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:16,497 CHAS: Now, about the room... 736 00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:17,999 TURNER: Fourteen balls. 737 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,501 How about just on a... On a nightly basis? 738 00:56:20,502 --> 00:56:22,295 Right. On a nightly basis. 739 00:56:22,296 --> 00:56:24,547 On a horse. 740 00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:26,816 And blindfold. 741 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:29,176 Talk about a performer. 742 00:56:29,177 --> 00:56:33,277 Of course, I'm not telling you anything you don't know, am I, old man? 743 00:56:34,683 --> 00:56:37,953 You can't stay here, old man. 744 00:56:40,814 --> 00:56:42,957 Not in the mood? 745 00:56:44,568 --> 00:56:48,088 Why don't you play us a tune, pal? 746 00:56:49,948 --> 00:56:52,671 I don't like music. 747 00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:55,036 Comical little geezer. 748 00:56:55,037 --> 00:56:57,806 You'll look funny when you're 50. 749 00:56:58,624 --> 00:57:01,222 You'll have to go. 750 00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:04,642 You wouldn't like it here. 751 00:57:05,714 --> 00:57:07,298 Not like it? 752 00:57:07,299 --> 00:57:09,550 That charming little basement suite? 753 00:57:09,551 --> 00:57:11,260 I paid for it. 754 00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:13,279 I love it. 755 00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:16,817 No. 756 00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:19,393 You wouldn't fit in here. 757 00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:21,020 I would. 758 00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:23,574 I'm determined to fit in. 759 00:57:24,066 --> 00:57:27,210 I've got to fit in, Mr. Turner. 760 00:57:31,990 --> 00:57:33,449 I see. 761 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,752 It's that bad, eh? 762 00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:39,872 I wonder, Mr. Dean... 763 00:57:39,873 --> 00:57:43,518 if you were me, what would you do? 764 00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:47,046 I don't know. 765 00:57:47,047 --> 00:57:48,422 It depends. 766 00:57:48,423 --> 00:57:50,424 It depends who you are. 767 00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:52,093 Which I don't know. 768 00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:55,193 Who I am? Do you know who you are? 769 00:57:56,181 --> 00:57:57,949 - Eh? - Yes. 770 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:03,187 TURNER: Well, that simplifies matters. 771 00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:04,956 You can stay. 772 00:58:05,524 --> 00:58:07,692 On a daily basis. 773 00:58:07,693 --> 00:58:10,746 Yesterday till tomorrow, all right? 774 00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:17,877 Thanks. 775 01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:02,973 CHAS: He wasn't that big. 776 01:00:02,974 --> 01:00:04,558 I remember him quite well. 777 01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:06,953 He was and all. 778 01:00:07,229 --> 01:00:09,188 He was world-famous. 779 01:00:09,189 --> 01:00:12,066 Well, when I was a nipper he was chart-buster. 780 01:00:12,067 --> 01:00:14,735 They come and they go. Pop stars. 781 01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:16,153 He had a following. 782 01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,905 I never fancied his stuff, myself. 783 01:00:17,906 --> 01:00:19,406 LORRAINE: I fancied him. 784 01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:20,991 Old rubber lips. 785 01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:22,451 He had three number one's... 786 01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:24,745 and two number two's and a number four. 787 01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:28,220 Hmm. Fetch that tea over here, Lorrie. 788 01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:33,254 Didn't last though, did it, his success? 789 01:00:33,255 --> 01:00:36,966 - Well, he retired, didn't he? - Oh, did he? 790 01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:38,926 So, what's he do now then? 791 01:00:38,927 --> 01:00:42,346 He stays... He stays here. He's writing a book and some music. 792 01:00:42,347 --> 01:00:44,348 Oh, yeah? Is that why he's got a secretary? 793 01:00:44,349 --> 01:00:46,016 Huh? 794 01:00:46,017 --> 01:00:49,103 That foreign bird, you know, not the skinny one, the other one. 795 01:00:49,104 --> 01:00:51,939 Pherber? Pherber's his lover, mate. 796 01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:55,289 She cohabits with him since years and years. 797 01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:58,445 - Their love story's famous. - Oh, yeah? 798 01:00:58,446 --> 01:01:00,714 Yeah, you don't know nothing, do you, Dad? 799 01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:07,097 - When's Mom coming? - Tonight. 800 01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:11,167 That won't fit in, honey. 801 01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:13,294 Look, it's all holes. 802 01:01:13,295 --> 01:01:15,129 That won't fit in. 803 01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:19,435 I know. I know how to do it. Come on, I know. Here it is. 804 01:01:19,801 --> 01:01:21,886 PHERBER: Look, this is the one. 805 01:01:21,887 --> 01:01:23,564 LUCY: You're getting fat, Lorraine. 806 01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:25,489 Beans make you fat. 807 01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,942 LORRAINE: I'm sick of beans. 808 01:01:28,685 --> 01:01:31,228 I don't really like that guy. 809 01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:33,122 I think he's horrible. 810 01:01:33,190 --> 01:01:36,664 You don't really like him, do you? 811 01:01:37,485 --> 01:01:40,696 - What do you want...? - I don't want anything! 812 01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:43,841 I just let things happen! 813 01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:45,711 Why did Turner let him stay? 814 01:01:48,955 --> 01:01:50,998 - He changed his mind. - Why? 815 01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:54,052 Why did he let him stay? Why? 816 01:01:57,214 --> 01:01:58,756 - HOUSEKEEPER: Mr. Dean? - Hmm? 817 01:01:58,757 --> 01:02:01,508 HOUSEKEEPER: Would you like me to do your room now? 818 01:02:01,509 --> 01:02:03,010 Oh, hello, Mrs. Gibbs. 819 01:02:03,011 --> 01:02:04,470 No, thanks, dear. No. 820 01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:05,846 Tomorrow will be fine. 821 01:02:05,847 --> 01:02:08,570 Thanks a lot, love. Thank you. 822 01:02:08,892 --> 01:02:12,228 TURNER: "At this point, something unforeseeable occurred. 823 01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:15,356 From a corner of the room, the old ecstatic gaucho... 824 01:02:15,357 --> 01:02:18,786 threw him a naked dagger which landed at his feet. 825 01:02:19,277 --> 01:02:21,862 Dalman bent over to pick it up. 826 01:02:21,863 --> 01:02:24,740 'They would not have allowed such things to happen to me... 827 01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:27,284 in the sanitarium,' he thought. 828 01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:29,119 And he felt two things. 829 01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:31,330 - The first... - Yes. 830 01:02:31,331 --> 01:02:33,540 I know why. 831 01:02:33,541 --> 01:02:35,542 - Yeah? - Yes. 832 01:02:35,543 --> 01:02:36,969 Ow! 833 01:02:37,712 --> 01:02:39,505 - LUCY: What is it? - TURNER: I got a fly. 834 01:02:39,506 --> 01:02:40,965 (FLY BUZZING) 835 01:02:40,966 --> 01:02:42,267 A fly? 836 01:02:43,134 --> 01:02:45,311 TURNER: In my eye. 837 01:02:48,056 --> 01:02:51,141 - Why? - Because you're afraid of him. 838 01:02:51,142 --> 01:02:53,477 Yes, right. 839 01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:55,271 Right. 840 01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:56,480 (CHUCKLES THEN SNIFFS) 841 01:02:56,481 --> 01:02:58,374 And he's afraid too. 842 01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:00,952 Of you? 843 01:03:06,700 --> 01:03:08,877 MAN: Blower for you, Tony. 844 01:03:10,453 --> 01:03:12,371 TONY (ON PHONE): Hello, uncle. How are you? 845 01:03:12,372 --> 01:03:13,719 Not bad, Tony. 846 01:03:13,873 --> 01:03:16,458 Uh, listen, uh, I saw Thanopoulos. 847 01:03:16,459 --> 01:03:18,335 He said, "Okay, yeah." 848 01:03:18,336 --> 01:03:20,504 He can get you on a freighter. 849 01:03:20,505 --> 01:03:22,673 Direct to the big city, New York. 850 01:03:22,674 --> 01:03:24,174 Yeah, it'll cost you though. 851 01:03:24,175 --> 01:03:28,178 This includes seaman's papers, passport, graft to the skipper, all included. 852 01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:30,277 Nine hundred quid. 853 01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:32,575 Nine hundred? 854 01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:34,893 The old robber. 855 01:03:34,894 --> 01:03:36,520 Well, that's his rate. 856 01:03:36,521 --> 01:03:39,273 No, Tony, you done very well. You done very well. 857 01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:42,359 - Good. When do I go? - This week. Definitely. 858 01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,777 Yeah. 859 01:03:43,778 --> 01:03:45,487 Now listen. 860 01:03:45,488 --> 01:03:48,115 He wants a little picture of you, mate. 861 01:03:48,116 --> 01:03:51,090 Yeah, a little photograph for your passport. 862 01:03:51,328 --> 01:03:54,455 - You know what I mean? - Oh, yeah, I get you. I get you. 863 01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:56,915 Thanopoulos, he said, "If your friend's smart... 864 01:03:56,916 --> 01:04:00,220 he'll wanna look decidedly different to what he normally does." 865 01:04:00,295 --> 01:04:01,712 Grow a beard. 866 01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:04,256 No, I'll think of something, Tone. Don't worry. 867 01:04:04,257 --> 01:04:06,467 Right then, I'll hear from you tonight... 868 01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:09,112 at my gaff, 9:00, all right? 869 01:04:09,137 --> 01:04:10,512 Chin up, uncle. 870 01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:12,565 The land of opportunity awaits, eh? 871 01:04:27,614 --> 01:04:29,291 (DOORBELL RINGS) 872 01:04:47,842 --> 01:04:50,440 - TURNER: Three years too late. - MAN: You said you wanted it. 873 01:04:50,595 --> 01:04:52,772 I can't afford it. 874 01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:56,016 I'm not sure if I like it, anyway. 875 01:04:56,017 --> 01:04:58,365 I'll keep the frame. 876 01:05:02,357 --> 01:05:03,899 LUCY: Oh, come on, forget it. 877 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:06,999 He never buys anything. Let's go back to Ula's. 878 01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,463 Let's go. 879 01:05:11,074 --> 01:05:12,500 (DOOR CLOSES) 880 01:05:30,218 --> 01:05:32,316 (BANGING) 881 01:05:32,387 --> 01:05:33,720 (TURNER CLEARS THROAT) 882 01:05:33,721 --> 01:05:35,568 PHERBER: Don't. 883 01:05:41,563 --> 01:05:43,230 CHAS: Oh, there you are. 884 01:05:43,231 --> 01:05:47,035 Sorry to disturb, but has anyone got a sixpence for the phone? 885 01:05:47,527 --> 01:05:50,821 Uh, can I, uh, use the blower up here? 886 01:05:50,822 --> 01:05:53,240 We haven't got a blower up here. 887 01:05:53,241 --> 01:05:54,783 Ha! 888 01:05:54,784 --> 01:05:57,553 What in God's name has he done to his hair? 889 01:05:59,372 --> 01:06:01,039 TURNER: He's blown it. 890 01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:02,958 Yeah, well, that's it, dear. 891 01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:05,002 - I gotta ring up my agent again. - Dye. 892 01:06:05,003 --> 01:06:09,149 - TURNER: I fancied the red. - No, no, it was the red that was dyed. 893 01:06:09,716 --> 01:06:11,017 - It's dead. - CHAS: Dyed. 894 01:06:13,761 --> 01:06:15,563 - Red. - PHERBER: Dyed it. 895 01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,681 Dead. 896 01:06:17,682 --> 01:06:20,201 Red. Red. 897 01:06:22,896 --> 01:06:24,396 TURNER: Van Gogh, eh? 898 01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:25,772 Oh, no. This is the normal. 899 01:06:25,773 --> 01:06:28,275 - The normal? - Yeah. I was just having a laugh. 900 01:06:28,276 --> 01:06:32,171 Having a laugh, you see? With my act. With my image. 901 01:06:32,489 --> 01:06:36,464 - You know what I mean? - TURNER: I know exactly what you mean. 902 01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:38,243 Thought you would. 903 01:06:38,244 --> 01:06:40,913 Uh, he reckons, my agent... 904 01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:43,624 that, uh, it's time for a change. 905 01:06:43,625 --> 01:06:45,667 It's time for a change. 906 01:06:45,668 --> 01:06:47,085 Well, I can see his point. 907 01:06:47,086 --> 01:06:49,963 TURNER: Yeah, so can I. 908 01:06:49,964 --> 01:06:53,050 Personally, casting one's mind back. 909 01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:54,728 Yeah? 910 01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:59,073 - TURNER: I rather liked it. - The, uh...? 911 01:06:59,974 --> 01:07:03,143 PHERBER: No, you fool. Your act. 912 01:07:03,144 --> 01:07:05,572 Your image. 913 01:07:05,813 --> 01:07:08,065 We just remembered, see. 914 01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:10,275 We've seen it. We caught it in Hamburg. 915 01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:11,610 - Your act. - CHAS: Oh, yeah? 916 01:07:11,611 --> 01:07:14,488 - TURNER: Yes, it was fascinating. - CHAS: Oh, mushrooms. I like them fried. 917 01:07:14,489 --> 01:07:16,365 PHERBER: Hungry, eh? 918 01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:18,909 TURNER: Even though, as one artist to another... 919 01:07:18,910 --> 01:07:21,053 it is a bit old-fashioned. 920 01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:25,258 Yeah, well, I am a bit old-fashioned. 921 01:07:26,834 --> 01:07:29,307 Or was it Berlin? 922 01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:33,340 No, thanks. 923 01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:35,926 Was it last year? Or was it '67? 924 01:07:35,927 --> 01:07:37,427 - PHERBER: Sixty-six. - Sixty-nine. 925 01:07:37,428 --> 01:07:40,097 - CHAS: Was it Paris? - Goodbye, the Bugatti. 926 01:07:40,098 --> 01:07:42,321 - TURNER: It was Wembley. - CHAS: Why not? 927 01:07:43,184 --> 01:07:45,111 TURNER: No. Tokyo. 928 01:07:45,645 --> 01:07:48,522 - Tokyo? - TURNER: Tokyo. The World's Fair. 929 01:07:48,523 --> 01:07:51,292 Oh, yes. It was Tokyo. 930 01:07:54,195 --> 01:07:56,168 No, thanks. 931 01:07:56,698 --> 01:07:59,199 Yeah, it was Tokyo. 932 01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:01,423 Definitely. 933 01:08:05,540 --> 01:08:08,542 Speaking of which, I just come across downstairs on the floor. 934 01:08:08,543 --> 01:08:10,811 This will sound funny, but have you got one? 935 01:08:11,045 --> 01:08:12,938 A Polaroid? 936 01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:17,443 (LAUGHING) 937 01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:20,192 Time for a change. 938 01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:22,656 Have we got one? 939 01:08:23,224 --> 01:08:25,868 - Yes, no. - Yes, no. 940 01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:29,479 (METAL CLANGING) 941 01:08:29,480 --> 01:08:31,732 CHAS: Just for a lark, I thought, eh? 942 01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:34,568 Little Lorraine set it off. Gave me the idea. 943 01:08:34,569 --> 01:08:38,363 Yeah, we often lark about with the Polaroid. 944 01:08:38,364 --> 01:08:42,259 - Me and the girls. - CHAS: Oh, yeah? I got a Leica N3 myself. 945 01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:52,044 - CHAS: I never wear hats. - Not even when performing? 946 01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:55,213 - Never. No. - What you wear then? 947 01:08:55,214 --> 01:08:57,357 - Look here. - Uh... 948 01:08:57,383 --> 01:08:59,426 Well, loose... Ah! 949 01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:01,604 Loose things. 950 01:09:01,888 --> 01:09:03,347 (PHERBER CHUCKLES) 951 01:09:03,348 --> 01:09:05,992 Marvelous picture. 952 01:09:06,934 --> 01:09:09,311 Yeah, I never wear hats. 953 01:09:09,312 --> 01:09:11,605 Oh, right, you like the mushrooms fried. 954 01:09:11,606 --> 01:09:13,908 - Sorry. - No, no. Ah... 955 01:09:13,941 --> 01:09:15,359 Why don't you try this? 956 01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:18,630 - I'll try anything once. - You'll like it, it's continental. 957 01:09:19,781 --> 01:09:21,948 Yeah, you're a good cook, Pherber. 958 01:09:21,949 --> 01:09:23,575 Are these...? 959 01:09:23,576 --> 01:09:28,723 Are these photographs for narcissistic... 960 01:09:30,792 --> 01:09:32,890 or publicity purposes? 961 01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,169 What? 962 01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:37,172 Because if you're planning to disseminate postcard-sized... 963 01:09:37,173 --> 01:09:40,342 - Have you got a drop of Scotch? - No, I'm sorry. 964 01:09:40,343 --> 01:09:44,721 Offset litho reproductions of these by the thousand, then... 965 01:09:44,722 --> 01:09:45,972 Oh, no, no, no. 966 01:09:45,973 --> 01:09:48,446 - These are just for my agent. - TURNER: You see my point? 967 01:09:48,601 --> 01:09:50,686 CHAS: Of course I can. Of course I can. 968 01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:52,813 Oh! no! no, uh... 969 01:09:52,814 --> 01:09:54,648 No, I'd, uh... 970 01:09:54,649 --> 01:09:57,418 I don't want these to be seen by the general public. 971 01:09:57,652 --> 01:09:59,027 - No. - TURNER: Good. 972 01:09:59,028 --> 01:10:00,580 That's a load off my mind. 973 01:10:02,156 --> 01:10:05,033 That's a first-class photo, Turner, technically speaking... 974 01:10:05,034 --> 01:10:08,508 but I don't think it's a suitable image. 975 01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,206 - PHERBER: You don't? - No. 976 01:10:11,207 --> 01:10:12,999 PHERBER: I think it's perfect. 977 01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,302 Perfectly brown. 978 01:10:15,753 --> 01:10:17,421 It's you. 979 01:10:17,422 --> 01:10:20,006 - Yeah, well, that's it. I don't, uh... - It's perfect you. 980 01:10:20,007 --> 01:10:21,508 It looks, uh... I look dodgy. 981 01:10:21,509 --> 01:10:23,760 - You know what I mean? - TURNER: I know what you mean. 982 01:10:23,761 --> 01:10:26,430 CHAS: Yeah, you've, uh... Well, you've gone too far. 983 01:10:26,431 --> 01:10:30,016 TURNER: He means we haven't really got anywhere. 984 01:10:30,017 --> 01:10:33,687 He means we've got to go much further out. 985 01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:36,189 We have to go much further. 986 01:10:36,190 --> 01:10:37,858 Much further back. 987 01:10:37,859 --> 01:10:40,036 And faster. 988 01:10:40,695 --> 01:10:42,872 Wait a minute. 989 01:10:46,993 --> 01:10:49,216 Are you all right? 990 01:10:49,537 --> 01:10:50,954 CHAS: Yes. 991 01:10:50,955 --> 01:10:52,873 Yeah, I'm fine, thank you. 992 01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:57,725 Look, what I've got to have is a little photo. 993 01:11:00,548 --> 01:11:04,898 I want a little black and white photo, yeah? 994 01:11:06,888 --> 01:11:10,317 Look, it's just gotta be a little bit different. 995 01:11:10,892 --> 01:11:12,726 Do you know what I mean? 996 01:11:12,727 --> 01:11:15,576 And black and white. Ah. 997 01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:23,546 It's nothing. It's what... The accident what done me up. 998 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:29,301 You wanted a sort of passport size, eh? 999 01:11:30,536 --> 01:11:32,838 (TURNER STRUMS GUITAR) 1000 01:11:38,377 --> 01:11:39,586 (CHAS GROANING) 1001 01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:43,858 It's interesting how things grow quickly septic. 1002 01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:49,193 I think maybe we ought to call Dr. Burroughs. 1003 01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:51,473 Give him a shot. 1004 01:11:51,474 --> 01:11:53,350 (TURNER STRUMS GUITAR) 1005 01:11:53,351 --> 01:11:55,403 CHAS: A shot? 1006 01:11:56,562 --> 01:11:57,938 No. 1007 01:11:57,939 --> 01:11:59,439 No. 1008 01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:02,084 You know what you're doing, Pherber. 1009 01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:08,003 I've gotta get... I've gotta get this little photo just right. 1010 01:12:08,032 --> 01:12:10,242 What photo? 1011 01:12:10,243 --> 01:12:12,136 Of who? 1012 01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:14,422 Johnny Dean. 1013 01:12:17,291 --> 01:12:19,584 Maybe he doesn't know who he is. 1014 01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:21,127 TURNER: He does. 1015 01:12:21,128 --> 01:12:23,255 (TURNER HITTING GUITAR) 1016 01:12:23,256 --> 01:12:25,900 (TURNER SINGING ROBERT JOHNSON'S "COME ON IN MY KITCHEN") 1017 01:13:04,797 --> 01:13:08,008 He does. He knows. He's the bogeyman. 1018 01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:12,860 CHAS: I'm alive and well. You push the buttons on that thing. 1019 01:13:23,149 --> 01:13:25,918 (SINGING ROBERT JOHNSON'S "ME AND THE DEVIL BLUES") 1020 01:14:02,313 --> 01:14:04,661 We push the buttons. 1021 01:14:04,899 --> 01:14:06,496 He's the horror show. 1022 01:14:06,984 --> 01:14:08,818 He's an old pro. 1023 01:14:08,819 --> 01:14:10,211 He can take it. 1024 01:14:10,404 --> 01:14:11,821 He takes it. 1025 01:14:11,822 --> 01:14:14,783 He dishes it out too, bet your sweet fucking life he does. 1026 01:14:14,784 --> 01:14:17,052 He's a mean bastard. 1027 01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:19,263 I'm the Lone Ranger. 1028 01:14:20,706 --> 01:14:22,849 (SINGING) 1029 01:14:54,156 --> 01:14:56,925 TURNER: He's a striped beast. 1030 01:14:57,368 --> 01:15:00,286 You enjoy your work, eh? 1031 01:15:00,287 --> 01:15:02,589 You've got the gift. 1032 01:15:04,458 --> 01:15:07,335 - What's wrong with the lights? - Yeah. 1033 01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:09,013 Artificial energy. 1034 01:15:09,088 --> 01:15:11,561 It's pulsating into the voltage. 1035 01:15:11,966 --> 01:15:15,611 The flame... Hey, man, hold it! 1036 01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:21,863 CHAS: Yeah. 1037 01:15:22,309 --> 01:15:24,111 Yeah. 1038 01:15:27,314 --> 01:15:31,585 I've never seen that sort before. 1039 01:15:35,865 --> 01:15:37,574 It must be scorching hot. 1040 01:15:37,575 --> 01:15:39,422 (PHERBER GIGGLES) 1041 01:15:43,330 --> 01:15:45,507 This is a... 1042 01:15:46,959 --> 01:15:48,752 This is a very pretty table. 1043 01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:51,129 (PHERBER LAUGHING) 1044 01:15:51,130 --> 01:15:53,182 A very pretty table. 1045 01:15:55,634 --> 01:15:58,553 I... I'd, uh... I'd like a... 1046 01:15:58,554 --> 01:16:00,948 How much do you want for this, Turner? 1047 01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:06,895 CHAS: America's a blinding place for nightlife. 1048 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:09,574 He's on his way, that man. 1049 01:16:12,777 --> 01:16:15,125 How much did you give him? 1050 01:16:15,738 --> 01:16:17,739 Two-thirds of the big one. 1051 01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:20,075 That's insane. I can't make that scene. 1052 01:16:20,076 --> 01:16:22,535 You should have thought of that before. 1053 01:16:22,536 --> 01:16:24,621 Johnny? 1054 01:16:24,622 --> 01:16:26,539 Johnny? 1055 01:16:26,540 --> 01:16:28,291 You feel better, huh? 1056 01:16:28,292 --> 01:16:30,919 Yeah. Not bad, not had. 1057 01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:33,063 Pretty sharp. 1058 01:16:33,297 --> 01:16:35,131 - Gotta get a shift on. - PHERBER: Sure. 1059 01:16:35,132 --> 01:16:37,230 Where's Rosie? 1060 01:16:37,468 --> 01:16:40,637 Hey. We're gonna nudge that slag. 1061 01:16:40,638 --> 01:16:43,181 Don't you worry about that. 1062 01:16:43,182 --> 01:16:44,984 Johnny? 1063 01:16:46,519 --> 01:16:48,287 Chas? 1064 01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:51,499 - Yeah? - Look at this. 1065 01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:54,400 CHAS: Cor, what a horrible-looking thing. 1066 01:16:54,401 --> 01:16:58,626 PHERBER: No, it's not. It's beautiful. 1067 01:16:58,989 --> 01:17:01,087 You had one for dinner. 1068 01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:03,468 Yeah? 1069 01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:06,554 PHERBER: Mm-hm. 1070 01:17:07,414 --> 01:17:09,999 - CHAS: You've poisoned me! - PHERBER: Look, don't be crazy. 1071 01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:12,585 - CHAS: You poisoned me! - PHERBER: No! 1072 01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,295 - TURNER: Oh, don't be ridiculous. - PHERBER: No, no. 1073 01:17:14,296 --> 01:17:16,881 - Just to speed things up. - TURNER: You've just been drugged. 1074 01:17:16,882 --> 01:17:19,259 PHERBER: I want to get a shift on. 1075 01:17:19,260 --> 01:17:20,812 (CHAS SCREAMS) 1076 01:17:22,555 --> 01:17:25,306 TURNER: I just wanna go in there, Chas. 1077 01:17:25,307 --> 01:17:30,204 You see, the blood of this vegetable is boring a hole. 1078 01:17:30,604 --> 01:17:34,357 This second hole is penetrating the hole of your face. 1079 01:17:34,358 --> 01:17:36,401 The skull of your bone. 1080 01:17:36,402 --> 01:17:38,862 I just wanna get right in there, know what I mean? 1081 01:17:38,863 --> 01:17:41,364 - And root around like a mandragora. - CHAS: Am I going nuts? 1082 01:17:41,365 --> 01:17:43,158 PHERBER: Come on. You're beautiful. 1083 01:17:43,159 --> 01:17:45,618 We just dismantled you a little bit, that's all. 1084 01:17:45,619 --> 01:17:47,453 Just to see how you function. 1085 01:17:47,454 --> 01:17:50,832 PHERBER: We sat through your act. Now you're gonna sit through ours. 1086 01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:52,292 His act? 1087 01:17:52,293 --> 01:17:55,879 - They never get fed up with it, do they? - CHAS: I'm a goer, myself. 1088 01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:59,007 Been on the road a million years. 1089 01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:03,063 A million years people have been coming and dragging in to watch it. 1090 01:18:03,470 --> 01:18:06,264 I like a bit of a cavort. 1091 01:18:06,265 --> 01:18:08,975 I don't send them solicitors' letters. 1092 01:18:08,976 --> 01:18:12,200 I apply a bit of pressure. 1093 01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:14,856 He won't listen to me. 1094 01:18:14,857 --> 01:18:17,330 I know how you do it. 1095 01:18:18,777 --> 01:18:23,002 I know a thing or two about performing, my boy, I can tell you. 1096 01:18:25,743 --> 01:18:28,369 He had the gift too, once upon a time. 1097 01:18:28,370 --> 01:18:30,246 You should have seen him 10 years ago. 1098 01:18:30,247 --> 01:18:32,140 TURNER: I'll tell you this. 1099 01:18:32,374 --> 01:18:36,669 The only performance that makes it, that really makes it... 1100 01:18:36,670 --> 01:18:40,715 that makes it all the way, is the one that achieves madness. 1101 01:18:40,716 --> 01:18:42,926 Right? Am I right? 1102 01:18:42,927 --> 01:18:45,511 - You with me? - I'm with you. 1103 01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:48,598 He wants to know why your show... 1104 01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:53,120 - is a bigger turn-on than his ever was. - CHAS: How should I know? 1105 01:18:54,688 --> 01:18:59,243 Well, I know a thing or two about the clientele. 1106 01:19:02,196 --> 01:19:05,323 They're a bunch of liars and wrigglers. 1107 01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:07,672 Put the frighteners on them. 1108 01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:10,846 Give them a bit of stick. 1109 01:19:11,705 --> 01:19:14,207 That's the way to make them jump. 1110 01:19:14,208 --> 01:19:15,583 They love it. 1111 01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:17,807 Ooh, he's on a bummer. 1112 01:19:20,923 --> 01:19:22,465 TURNER: Time for your new image. 1113 01:19:22,466 --> 01:19:26,261 - CHAS: So is it different? - PHERBER: Now we're getting somewhere. 1114 01:19:26,262 --> 01:19:28,439 America's a blinding place. 1115 01:19:28,722 --> 01:19:30,444 Must you really go tomorrow? 1116 01:19:31,558 --> 01:19:35,853 Tomorrow. Tomorrow he learns what's true and what's not. 1117 01:19:35,854 --> 01:19:37,981 Nothing is true. 1118 01:19:37,982 --> 01:19:40,455 Everything is permitted. 1119 01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:43,124 Eh? 1120 01:19:43,362 --> 01:19:46,711 The last words of the old man in the mountain. 1121 01:19:47,157 --> 01:19:50,461 His motto. It's a thousand years old. 1122 01:19:51,620 --> 01:19:55,424 Imagine yourself being a thousand years younger. 1123 01:19:57,418 --> 01:20:00,253 TURNER: "The old man was called, in the language of Persia... 1124 01:20:00,254 --> 01:20:01,963 Hassan-i-Sabbah. 1125 01:20:01,964 --> 01:20:05,091 And his people were called the Hashishin. 1126 01:20:05,092 --> 01:20:07,427 He had caused a valley between two mountains... 1127 01:20:07,428 --> 01:20:10,638 to be enclosed and turned into a garden... 1128 01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:15,476 so large and beautiful his people believed it was paradise. 1129 01:20:15,477 --> 01:20:17,895 And there was a fortress at the entrance... 1130 01:20:17,896 --> 01:20:21,065 strong enough to resist all the world. 1131 01:20:21,066 --> 01:20:24,277 Now, the old man who caused those of his young men... 1132 01:20:24,278 --> 01:20:26,863 whom he had chosen to be his Hashishin... 1133 01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:33,244 his assassins, to be given a potion which cast them into a deep sleep. 1134 01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:35,121 And to be carried into the garden... 1135 01:20:35,122 --> 01:20:39,375 so that when they awoke they believed they were in paradise. 1136 01:20:39,376 --> 01:20:42,295 And there were damsels and young girls there... 1137 01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:44,881 who dallied with them to their hearts' content... 1138 01:20:44,882 --> 01:20:48,903 so that they had what young men desire. 1139 01:20:49,470 --> 01:20:51,679 Thus it was, that when the old man decided... 1140 01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:54,098 to send one of his assassins upon a mission... 1141 01:20:54,099 --> 01:20:56,184 such as to have a prince slain... 1142 01:20:56,185 --> 01:20:58,811 he would send for one of these youths and say: 1143 01:20:58,812 --> 01:21:00,688 'Go thou and kill... 1144 01:21:00,689 --> 01:21:04,859 and when thou returnest my angels shall bear thee into paradise. 1145 01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:07,820 And shouldest thou die, nevertheless... 1146 01:21:07,821 --> 01:21:12,533 I will send my angels to carry you back into paradise." 1147 01:21:12,534 --> 01:21:14,962 Enjoy doing work? 1148 01:21:16,747 --> 01:21:19,082 Are you in that garden? 1149 01:21:19,083 --> 01:21:20,583 CHAS: Yeah. 1150 01:21:20,584 --> 01:21:23,127 Stay there. 1151 01:21:23,128 --> 01:21:27,478 Never trust old men, old showmen, old wankers. 1152 01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:30,551 I'm gonna take you down the riverside. 1153 01:21:30,552 --> 01:21:32,428 I might powder you. 1154 01:21:32,429 --> 01:21:37,781 I might polish you. I might make you shiny like a mirror. 1155 01:21:37,851 --> 01:21:40,937 I just don't know. Mm. 1156 01:21:40,938 --> 01:21:44,023 What's that? What do you call it? 1157 01:21:44,024 --> 01:21:45,917 Pectoral. 1158 01:21:49,530 --> 01:21:51,798 Do you like my physique? 1159 01:21:53,033 --> 01:21:54,505 Yeah, it's in, uh... 1160 01:21:55,786 --> 01:21:57,759 It's in good condition. 1161 01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:05,711 PHERBER: I've got two angles. 1162 01:22:05,712 --> 01:22:07,713 One male and one female. 1163 01:22:07,714 --> 01:22:10,642 Just like a triangle, see? 1164 01:22:11,718 --> 01:22:14,737 - Did you notice? - Eh? 1165 01:22:15,180 --> 01:22:17,608 Did you never have a female feel? 1166 01:22:18,725 --> 01:22:22,270 No, never. I feel like a man. 1167 01:22:22,271 --> 01:22:24,480 A man all the time. 1168 01:22:24,481 --> 01:22:26,065 PHERBER: That's awful. 1169 01:22:26,066 --> 01:22:28,401 That's what's wrong with you, isn't it? 1170 01:22:28,402 --> 01:22:29,861 What do you mean? 1171 01:22:29,862 --> 01:22:32,530 It's a man's man's world. 1172 01:22:32,531 --> 01:22:35,199 There's nothing wrong with me. 1173 01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:37,201 I'm normal. 1174 01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:40,506 (LAUGHING) 1175 01:22:43,917 --> 01:22:46,752 PHERBER: How do you think Turner feels like, huh? 1176 01:22:46,753 --> 01:22:49,172 I don't know, he's weird. 1177 01:22:49,173 --> 01:22:51,350 And you're weird. 1178 01:22:51,467 --> 01:22:55,146 - You're kinky. - He's a man. Male and female man. 1179 01:22:55,429 --> 01:22:57,597 And he feels like me. 1180 01:22:57,598 --> 01:22:59,932 - CHAS: No. No, he doesn't. - PHERBER: How do I feel, huh? 1181 01:22:59,933 --> 01:23:01,976 Tell me. Female feel. 1182 01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:03,620 (PHERBER LAUGHS) 1183 01:23:03,729 --> 01:23:06,022 Mm. You love it, hmm? 1184 01:23:06,023 --> 01:23:07,690 Come inside my squares. 1185 01:23:07,691 --> 01:23:11,944 I'll introduce you to Eek, the light god. 1186 01:23:11,945 --> 01:23:15,364 But be fast and change your beautiful dress... 1187 01:23:15,365 --> 01:23:18,919 or my curiosity will go elsewhere. 1188 01:23:19,161 --> 01:23:23,331 Tell me, my gluteus maximus, hmm. How does it feel like, huh? 1189 01:23:23,332 --> 01:23:27,057 - CHAS: I said I'm not one of those. - PHERBER: Big butch. 1190 01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:30,889 - Mm. Rita Hayworth. - I said, no. 1191 01:23:31,882 --> 01:23:34,717 (PHERBER LAUGHING) 1192 01:23:34,718 --> 01:23:36,469 CHAS: You're sick. 1193 01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:38,221 - PHERBER: Oh! - CHAS: You... 1194 01:23:38,222 --> 01:23:40,890 You... You degenerate. 1195 01:23:40,891 --> 01:23:42,989 - You're perverted. - PHERBER: Ow! 1196 01:23:43,143 --> 01:23:48,105 - What's he wanna get out of my face? - I'm gonna polish you. Mm. 1197 01:23:48,106 --> 01:23:49,815 CHAS: The hole. The hole. 1198 01:23:49,816 --> 01:23:53,245 - What's he want? - PHERBER: Maybe a little mirror. 1199 01:23:53,737 --> 01:23:56,656 - A little dark mirror. - CHAS: My mirror? No. 1200 01:23:56,657 --> 01:24:00,034 - PHERBER: A little dark mirror. - CHAS: No, he shan't. The thieving slag. 1201 01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:01,587 PHERBER: Listen! 1202 01:24:04,122 --> 01:24:06,925 He won't take it away, you fool. 1203 01:24:07,084 --> 01:24:09,728 He just wants to take a look in it. 1204 01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:12,463 He's stuck! 1205 01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:14,607 - Stuck! - CHAS: Why? 1206 01:24:14,716 --> 01:24:17,802 PHERBER: Why? Because he's lost his demon. That's why. 1207 01:24:17,803 --> 01:24:19,011 - CHAS: Yeah? - PHERBER: Yeah. 1208 01:24:19,012 --> 01:24:23,317 He thought he had it under control. Juggling all those balls, millions of them. 1209 01:24:23,684 --> 01:24:24,892 CHAS: Bastard. 1210 01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:27,520 Until one day he was looking in his favorite mirror... 1211 01:24:27,521 --> 01:24:29,355 admiring his image, see? 1212 01:24:29,356 --> 01:24:32,817 And when suddenly, he saw it a bit too clearly. 1213 01:24:32,818 --> 01:24:38,698 And he was just a beautiful, little, freaky, stripy beast, darling. 1214 01:24:38,699 --> 01:24:40,116 So he thought maybe... 1215 01:24:40,117 --> 01:24:42,535 Maybe it's time for a change, he thought. 1216 01:24:42,536 --> 01:24:46,789 Then immediately as he watched, the image faded. 1217 01:24:46,790 --> 01:24:50,835 His demon had abandoned him. Puff! 1218 01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:52,587 - He was gone. - CHAS: Yeah? 1219 01:24:52,588 --> 01:24:55,590 PHERBER: He's still trying to figure out whether he wants it back. 1220 01:24:55,591 --> 01:24:58,676 - He's gotta find it again. Right? - Listen, I gotta tell you something. 1221 01:24:58,677 --> 01:25:01,821 Go and tell Turner. He's waiting for you. 1222 01:25:02,431 --> 01:25:05,391 He's been waiting a long, long time. 1223 01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:07,990 You must be polite. 1224 01:25:08,770 --> 01:25:10,071 Eh? 1225 01:25:25,495 --> 01:25:27,797 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 1226 01:26:22,344 --> 01:26:26,740 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 1227 01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:45,792 (SCREAMS) 1228 01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:06,404 TURNER: Right again. Me. 1229 01:27:07,097 --> 01:27:09,024 Me. 1230 01:27:09,725 --> 01:27:11,242 Me. 1231 01:27:12,018 --> 01:27:14,366 Do you call that equitable? 1232 01:27:26,116 --> 01:27:28,510 I like that. Turn it up. 1233 01:27:30,328 --> 01:27:31,971 (MUSIC BECOMES LOUDER) 1234 01:27:33,749 --> 01:27:38,020 (SINGING THE ROLLING STONES' "MEMO FROM TURNER") 1235 01:27:55,187 --> 01:27:56,784 It was Mad Cyril. 1236 01:27:56,980 --> 01:27:59,829 (SINGING) 1237 01:28:11,953 --> 01:28:13,675 We've been courteous. 1238 01:28:13,872 --> 01:28:15,890 (SINGING) 1239 01:28:38,605 --> 01:28:40,940 Let's have a look. 1240 01:28:40,941 --> 01:28:42,367 Let's have a look. 1241 01:28:42,651 --> 01:28:44,610 - Excuse me, but... - TURNER: Come in! 1242 01:28:44,611 --> 01:28:47,585 Take them off. Take them off! 1243 01:28:48,365 --> 01:28:50,258 (SINGING) 1244 01:29:55,515 --> 01:29:57,192 (MOUTHS) Here's to good old England. 1245 01:30:02,939 --> 01:30:05,583 (TURNER SINGING) 1246 01:31:03,959 --> 01:31:05,761 Go and tell your agent. 1247 01:31:08,004 --> 01:31:09,681 Why? What time is it? 1248 01:31:10,048 --> 01:31:12,350 You forgot to phone your agent. 1249 01:31:13,760 --> 01:31:15,312 Uh... 1250 01:31:15,762 --> 01:31:18,097 I... I forgot. 1251 01:31:18,098 --> 01:31:20,526 You forgot to phone him. 1252 01:31:21,017 --> 01:31:24,269 These two freaks with shiny eyes like this: 1253 01:31:24,270 --> 01:31:26,493 And that guy like this: 1254 01:31:27,190 --> 01:31:29,942 You've been giving him a hard time, haven't you? 1255 01:31:29,943 --> 01:31:31,151 (MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY) 1256 01:31:31,152 --> 01:31:32,669 Did you screw him? 1257 01:31:41,496 --> 01:31:43,664 Hey, what is this? 1258 01:31:43,665 --> 01:31:47,209 Do you want it? It's yours. You can have it. 1259 01:31:47,210 --> 01:31:49,128 Yeah? 1260 01:31:49,129 --> 01:31:51,171 Is he a real gangster? Is he? 1261 01:31:51,172 --> 01:31:53,224 No. 1262 01:31:53,800 --> 01:31:55,727 - LUCY: Mm. - PHERBER: Mm. 1263 01:31:55,802 --> 01:31:57,803 You done me up. 1264 01:31:57,804 --> 01:32:00,072 - I forgot, didn't I? - TURNER: Hmm? 1265 01:32:01,808 --> 01:32:04,977 He's got my passport. He's got my... 1266 01:32:04,978 --> 01:32:06,186 (PHONE RINGING THEN CLICKS) 1267 01:32:06,187 --> 01:32:08,397 - TONY (ON PHONE): Hello? - Tony? 1268 01:32:08,398 --> 01:32:09,982 Hello? 1269 01:32:09,983 --> 01:32:11,191 Hang on. 1270 01:32:11,192 --> 01:32:14,528 (COIN CLATTERS THEN PHONE WHIRS) 1271 01:32:14,529 --> 01:32:18,532 - There you go. - Hey, Tony. 1272 01:32:18,533 --> 01:32:20,961 Hello, pal. Where you been? 1273 01:32:21,369 --> 01:32:22,786 You forgot. 1274 01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:24,413 Oh, Christ almighty. 1275 01:32:24,414 --> 01:32:28,042 No, I had a bit of aggravation, Tone. 1276 01:32:28,043 --> 01:32:32,171 It wasn't easy. I've got the picture. I've got it right here. 1277 01:32:32,172 --> 01:32:33,672 TONY (ON PHONE): Oh, that's great, great. 1278 01:32:33,673 --> 01:32:35,549 Uh, look, that ship. 1279 01:32:35,550 --> 01:32:38,510 It looks as if it's leaving tomorrow night. Yeah. 1280 01:32:38,511 --> 01:32:41,781 So, uh, I just need the photo. 1281 01:32:41,806 --> 01:32:44,099 Yeah, well... 1282 01:32:44,100 --> 01:32:47,074 you got to pick it up. 1283 01:32:47,187 --> 01:32:48,729 Yeah, let me think. 1284 01:32:48,730 --> 01:32:52,357 81 Powis Square, Notting Hill Gate. He can come here. 1285 01:32:52,358 --> 01:32:55,127 CHAS (ON PHONE): 81 Powis Square, Notting Hill Gate. 1286 01:32:55,195 --> 01:32:58,489 TONY: 81 Powis Square, Notting Hill Gate. 1287 01:32:58,490 --> 01:32:59,823 Yes, Chas, yeah. 1288 01:32:59,824 --> 01:33:02,172 You'll pick it up at 9:30. 1289 01:33:02,619 --> 01:33:06,298 TONY: I'll pick it up at 9:30. 1290 01:33:07,373 --> 01:33:08,999 Are you all right, boy? 1291 01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:11,627 No, no, no, I'm all right, Chas. 1292 01:33:11,628 --> 01:33:14,431 I'm just feeling a bit, uh, tired, that's all. 1293 01:33:15,423 --> 01:33:17,817 Uh, Tony, uh... 1294 01:33:18,051 --> 01:33:20,052 I owe you for this. 1295 01:33:20,053 --> 01:33:21,720 I'm going to miss you, Tone. 1296 01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:24,098 Yeah, I'll miss you too, boy. 1297 01:33:24,099 --> 01:33:26,725 Well, um... Well, good night. 1298 01:33:26,726 --> 01:33:28,685 Good night. I'll call you at 9. 1299 01:33:28,686 --> 01:33:31,239 - God bless. - Thanks, Tone. 1300 01:33:32,565 --> 01:33:34,441 Thank you, Tony. 1301 01:33:34,442 --> 01:33:38,963 A wise head on... Still on those young shoulders, eh? 1302 01:33:40,448 --> 01:33:43,283 Ah. So he forgot, did he? 1303 01:33:43,284 --> 01:33:47,430 Forgot but not forgiven, eh, Moody? 1304 01:33:47,872 --> 01:33:49,765 Pardon? 1305 01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:54,846 ROSEBLOOM: It's funny. Wouldn't you say that was unlike him, Tony? 1306 01:33:56,297 --> 01:33:57,598 (CHUCKLES) 1307 01:33:58,758 --> 01:34:02,858 ROSEBLOOM: It's unlike him to forget an important thing. 1308 01:34:11,020 --> 01:34:13,063 Why is he going to America? 1309 01:34:13,064 --> 01:34:15,607 TURNER: Why? I don't know. 1310 01:34:15,608 --> 01:34:18,068 Place to go, isn't it, for gangsters? 1311 01:34:18,069 --> 01:34:19,528 I don't think so. 1312 01:34:19,529 --> 01:34:21,831 He's going to get in some bad scenes again. 1313 01:34:22,198 --> 01:34:24,876 He should go here. Look. 1314 01:34:26,161 --> 01:34:27,553 Hmm? 1315 01:34:28,329 --> 01:34:30,051 LUCY: The mountains of Persia. 1316 01:34:30,165 --> 01:34:32,875 TURNER: Yeah, maybe. Maybe you're right. 1317 01:34:32,876 --> 01:34:35,975 I'm sure there's some bandits over there. 1318 01:34:36,337 --> 01:34:37,977 - Don't you think? - TURNER: Mm, could be. 1319 01:34:38,047 --> 01:34:40,896 Yeah, I'll tell him. 1320 01:34:41,050 --> 01:34:42,885 LUCY: I'll tell him. 1321 01:34:42,886 --> 01:34:44,970 Tell me something. 1322 01:34:44,971 --> 01:34:48,932 Do you think the mountains would be improved without the bandits? 1323 01:34:48,933 --> 01:34:50,267 LUCY: Mm. 1324 01:34:50,268 --> 01:34:51,945 (LUCY SPEAKS IN FRENCH) 1325 01:35:15,043 --> 01:35:17,266 CHAS: Oh, my God. 1326 01:35:20,965 --> 01:35:24,360 I feel like I've been through a cement mixer. 1327 01:35:43,821 --> 01:35:45,072 (LUCY SPEAKS IN FRENCH) 1328 01:35:45,073 --> 01:35:48,172 - CHAS: French, eh? - LUCY: Yes, I'm French. 1329 01:35:51,162 --> 01:35:52,955 (CHUCKLES) 1330 01:35:52,956 --> 01:35:56,851 - CHAS: You're a funny little frog. - LUCY: Yes. 1331 01:35:58,169 --> 01:36:00,813 - CHAS: You've got small titties, eh? - LUCY: Yes. 1332 01:36:01,506 --> 01:36:04,049 CHAS: A bit underdeveloped? 1333 01:36:04,050 --> 01:36:07,302 Yes. What does that mean? 1334 01:36:07,303 --> 01:36:11,153 You're very skinny. Like a little boy or something. 1335 01:36:12,684 --> 01:36:15,237 LUCY: Some they mistake this. 1336 01:36:17,855 --> 01:36:19,577 Mm. 1337 01:36:25,238 --> 01:36:27,791 Lousy morning. 1338 01:36:29,450 --> 01:36:32,119 LUCY: This is for you. I found it. 1339 01:36:32,120 --> 01:36:34,764 - It's an amethyst. - Yes. 1340 01:36:36,582 --> 01:36:38,750 It's a purple amethyst. 1341 01:36:38,751 --> 01:36:40,348 Yeah. 1342 01:36:44,215 --> 01:36:46,300 You can have this too. 1343 01:36:46,301 --> 01:36:48,274 This is a magic one. 1344 01:36:48,594 --> 01:36:50,191 CHAS: Oh. 1345 01:36:50,221 --> 01:36:52,023 Is it? 1346 01:36:52,974 --> 01:36:54,742 Thanks. 1347 01:37:01,774 --> 01:37:03,775 LUCY: Pherber's got a visa. 1348 01:37:03,776 --> 01:37:06,069 They don't wanna give you a visa? 1349 01:37:06,070 --> 01:37:09,044 - No. - Why not? 1350 01:37:09,115 --> 01:37:10,758 Uh-. 1351 01:37:10,825 --> 01:37:12,492 I don't know why not. 1352 01:37:12,493 --> 01:37:13,702 Because you're foreign. 1353 01:37:13,703 --> 01:37:15,245 (LUCY GIGGLES) 1354 01:37:15,246 --> 01:37:17,539 He likes foreign birds, that Turner. 1355 01:37:17,540 --> 01:37:19,763 LUCY: Maybe I go with you. Why not? 1356 01:37:21,961 --> 01:37:24,263 LUCY: But I don't want to go to America. 1357 01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:33,972 I wish you'd be a bandit in Persia. 1358 01:37:33,973 --> 01:37:36,901 - CHAS: What's your name? - Lucy. 1359 01:37:45,610 --> 01:37:48,987 CHAS: He's got talent. He shouldn't have retired. 1360 01:37:48,988 --> 01:37:51,114 He should keep at it. 1361 01:37:51,115 --> 01:37:53,258 LUCY: He's stuck. 1362 01:37:54,452 --> 01:37:57,255 Everyone knows who he is still, don't they? 1363 01:37:58,623 --> 01:38:00,300 He likes you. 1364 01:38:01,834 --> 01:38:04,057 Stay till tomorrow. 1365 01:38:05,338 --> 01:38:09,688 I can't. I got to go along in a little while. 1366 01:38:10,468 --> 01:38:12,941 I've got to go too. 1367 01:38:13,930 --> 01:38:16,858 Maybe Pherber will come with me. 1368 01:38:17,475 --> 01:38:19,101 For holidays. 1369 01:38:19,102 --> 01:38:20,949 In the mountains. 1370 01:38:21,312 --> 01:38:23,990 Oh, merde, shampoo. 1371 01:38:26,734 --> 01:38:29,378 It's upstairs in the bathroom. 1372 01:38:33,783 --> 01:38:35,700 I'll get it for you. 1373 01:38:35,701 --> 01:38:37,253 Thanks. 1374 01:38:45,128 --> 01:38:46,680 Ah. 1375 01:38:54,095 --> 01:38:56,864 We've got to get off, Chas. Harry's waiting for you. 1376 01:38:58,057 --> 01:38:59,474 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1377 01:38:59,475 --> 01:39:01,935 Some of the chaps come up to see you too. 1378 01:39:01,936 --> 01:39:03,954 To see how you are. 1379 01:39:08,901 --> 01:39:11,670 Rosie, I've got to pop upstairs for a second. 1380 01:39:12,071 --> 01:39:13,793 No. 1381 01:39:15,950 --> 01:39:18,034 We've not got time. 1382 01:39:18,035 --> 01:39:20,337 We've got to get down to the country. 1383 01:39:21,831 --> 01:39:23,540 We got time. 1384 01:39:23,541 --> 01:39:25,434 We got a minute. 1385 01:39:26,502 --> 01:39:29,305 Else you'll have to give it to me right here. 1386 01:39:31,424 --> 01:39:33,192 Right here. 1387 01:39:35,678 --> 01:39:37,730 Won't you, Rosie? 1388 01:39:42,894 --> 01:39:46,198 All right. Make it two minutes. 1389 01:39:47,523 --> 01:39:50,275 You'll let me have the shooter as soon as you come down. 1390 01:39:50,276 --> 01:39:51,919 Right? 1391 01:39:53,821 --> 01:39:55,418 Right. 1392 01:39:58,784 --> 01:40:01,837 There's a couple of chaps on the roof, Chas. 1393 01:40:02,079 --> 01:40:04,006 A couple in the garden. 1394 01:40:10,004 --> 01:40:11,931 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 1395 01:40:22,892 --> 01:40:24,643 I've got to be off now. 1396 01:40:24,644 --> 01:40:27,145 No, I'm gonna talk to you some more. 1397 01:40:27,146 --> 01:40:28,730 No, I gotta shoot off now. 1398 01:40:28,731 --> 01:40:31,284 TURNER: I might come with you, then. 1399 01:40:56,050 --> 01:40:57,602 (SCOFFS) 1400 01:40:58,344 --> 01:41:01,067 You don't know where I'm going, pal. 1401 01:41:03,474 --> 01:41:05,367 I do. 1402 01:41:43,764 --> 01:41:45,657 I don't know. 1403 01:41:50,396 --> 01:41:52,539 Yeah, you do. 1404 01:41:56,777 --> 01:41:58,078 (GUN CLICKS) 1405 01:41:59,238 --> 01:42:00,447 (GUN COCKS) 1406 01:42:00,448 --> 01:42:02,000 (SCREAMS THEN GUNSHOT) 1407 01:42:29,935 --> 01:42:31,908 LUCY: Chas. 1408 01:42:35,149 --> 01:42:36,746 Chas. 1409 01:43:46,387 --> 01:43:48,189 Hello, Chas.101067