Original subtitles

TERRY: We're about to enter the third dungeon.

The dwarf goes first.

There's a strong gust of fetid wind,

and the dwarf's torch blows out.

Giant blood-sucking spiders are falling from the ceiling.

The elf and dwarf draw their swords

and run deeper into the dungeon.

Rolling for the dwarf. The dwarf is dead.

One of the spiders is dragging his body

deeper into the dungeon.

Game's over. Bedtime.

Mom.

Mom? Come on.

You've been up late every night this week.

But I didn't... No buts,

and no computers tonight, okay?

Okay?

Okay.

Good night. Good night.

(BEEPING)

It's him, outside.

Right now?

TERRY: Belathiel, cutpurse, pickpocket,

and master thief scores again.

(MAN CHATTERING ON RADIO)

JANET: Yes, Daddy.

MYRON ON RADIO: Call him back, Yeah, this is 276X,

Listen, what's yesterday's total?

Plus four bills. Check.

Okay, look, at Delmar.

(RADIO CRACKLING)

MYRON ON RADIO: Twenty-five on the nose.

And then I want baseball on the 7th, Yeah.

Three, number four, number one, $5.

(SHRILL WHISTLING ON HEADPHONES) Morning, Rick!

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Is that hooligan bothering you again?

He doesn't bother me, Daddy.

I have an appointment with an A.J. Simon.

Huh?

A. J. Simon.

Oh, well, step right on in.

(GROWLING)

Shut up, Marlowe. Don't growl at the customers.

(WHINING)

Mr. Simon? A.J.: Yes.

My name is Scully.

A.J. Simon. Nice to meet you.

You met my brother, Rick.

Now, what can we do for you, Mr. Scully?

I would like you to find someone for me.

A boy, 13 or 14 years old,

thin, blond hair, he wears glasses.

I don't know his name, but he must live around here

'cause he rides his bike to the bank.

Okay. What bank would that be?

First National. I'm the vice-manager of the local branch.

He never comes inside,

makes his withdrawals from the automated teller after the bank is closed,

about once a week.

If he's got an account at your bank,

obviously you have his name and address on file.

Well,

the name is Anthrax Vermillion

and the address is care of General Delivery.

Mr. Simon, let me be honest with you.

This boy has somehow gotten inside the bank's computer system.

I don't know how, but he has opened

a phony interest-bearing checking account.

Funds are transferred into the account and then out again.

While money is in the account, it earns interest,

then he withdraws the interest.

I didn't know that was possible.

Well, it's not supposed to be possible.

Maybe he used one of those home computers, I don't know.

How much has he taken?

$740.67.

That's all?

It's not how much. It's the fact that he's doing it.

Mr. Simon, if I report this, the FBI will get involved

and the kid will go to jail. He's just a kid.

If I can find him, find out how he's doing it,

and get him to stop, I...

It's not the money.

I could write a check from my own personal account to cover the loss.

He could pay me back.

It's just that I don't think he realizes what he's doing.

And besides, anybody that good with computers, I could use him.

Probably give him a job.

(DOOR OPENING)

(GROWLING)

Shut up, Marlowe.

SCULLY: Thank you very much.

You will send the bills to me personally at home?

Whatever you like. We'll be in touch.

All right. Thank you.

You know anything about computers?

I know they don't like me every time I try to cash a check.

You might try putting some money in your account.

(DOOR CLOSING)

Am I supposed to?

(RADIO CRACKLING)

Well, it went perfect. They fell for it.

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

(WOMAN CHATTERING ON RADIO)

The kid's not gonna have any choice in the matter.

Either we'll scare him to death...

WOMAN: Or what?

How much are we gonna get?

How much do you want, Doris?

$50,000? $100,000?

How about a million?

How about five million? Cash.

(WHINING)

A.J., would you go get Marlowe a can of dog food?

Why should I do it?

I did it yesterday and the day before.

Yeah, but he's your dog.

Oh, come on, A.J., just go get him a can of liver chunks.

He likes liver chunks. Here.

(WHISTLING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

What's the matter?

Nothing. I'll drive.

(BEEPING)

STORE CLERK: It's $196.50 with tax.

Of $200.

$3.50 change.

Let me write up a receipt.

How do you spell your last name?

Terry M-A-C...

TERRY: No. M-C, capital D.

Right. And give me your address again.

4501, Chapman Street, San Diego.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

Got his name.

That's a big help.

I got his address.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Ter.

Where you been? Went to the computer store.

Bought an RS-232 interface.

Glad I asked.

Hello. Can I help you?

Yes, ma'am. My name is A.J. Simon.

We're detectives.

Detectives? Yes, ma'am.

Like to ask you some questions,

part of an investigation.

Questions about what?

Are you from the police?

No, ma'am. We're private investigators.

May we come in for just a moment, please?

Sure.

Thank you.

Where'd you get the badge?

Dime store.

(TYPING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

I'll be with you in a second, Mom.

ANN: Terry, unlock this door, now!

These two men are from the bank.

ANN: You stole over $700!

$800.

What did you do with it?

I gave $300 to school,

so we could have a video game system in the rec room.

I bought some computer stuff.

I got the tire fixed on my bicycle.

I bought you a birthday present.

Is that supposed to make it all right?

I don't want a birthday present bought with stolen money!

Don't you understand? It's against the law. You're a criminal.

I didn't steal from anybody. Not really.

All I did was collect interest on other people's money.

ANN: Oh.

I could have stolen a lot more if I wanted to.

You are all I have in the world.

What is wrong with you? Are you crazy?

Mrs. McDaniels.

Maybe you want to be a criminal!

Maybe you should go to jail!

A.J.: Mrs. McDaniels.

What Terry did was wrong,

but I'm sure there's a way we can straighten things out here.

I could pay the money back.

How?

Where are you gonna steal it from to give it back?

I don't have $700!

A.J.: Mrs. McDaniels,

Terry can pay the money back a little bit at a time.

That isn't what's important.

What's important here is that the bank wants to know how he did this.

Now, I'm sure if Terry were to turn himself in voluntarily...

I mean, I can't promise anything.

Well, why don't we arrange a meeting and see what happens.

Okay?

We can set it up in our office for tomorrow.

Terry can give a demonstration.

All right.

Don't worry about it, kid. It's gonna be all right.

What is this stuff, anyhow?

Fantasy games.

Trolls and Trapdoors, Angels and Demons.

Like Dungeons and Dragons, only better.

Oh, yeah?

Show me how you play?

I read about Trapdoors in a magazine, so I decided to write one in.

I binary XOR'd my birthday,

so when I get on the line and enter the number...

You have any idea what they're talking about?

TERRY: The program falls through the trapdoor No.

Into my funds transfers sub-routine,

before going into the internal audit trail.

(CHUCKLES)

I'm gonna be honest with you, Terry. I am very impressed.

Did you learn all this from books?

No, I just played with the machine a lot.

Where did you get the phone number that links

all the branch terminals with the central computer?

From Information.

You know, technically, this is impossible.

I think Terry just didn't realize that,

and went ahead and did it anyway.

How would you like to work on a big computer at the bank?

Are you serious?

Absolutely.

I want you to tell our systems analyst everything you've told me,

so he can make sure nobody ever does this again.

Great.

Do I have to pay the money back?

Sooner or later.

But I wouldn't worry about that, if I were you.

Anybody who's good with computers as you are

is not gonna have to worry about earning money.

Bye. So long, Terry.

Come by sometime. We'll play Angels and Demons.

Okay. All right.

Take care, Terry.

Well, you'll send the bill to me?

Uh, no. We usually get paid on completion.

That wasn't my understanding.

It's no problem.

We'll just put it in the mail to you.

Fine. Thank you.

Sure.

What was that about?

That guy's just a little too nice for me.

You're a cynic.

You know, when we get paid for this,

we ought to get a computer for the office.

(HONKING)

Hey, Ter!

Hey, Ter, I was thinking, why don't we go over to the bank right now?

You can put your bike in the back of the car.

Well, my mom told me I had to be home by 4:00.

We'll give her a call. She won't mind.

Put the computer in the trunk, put the bike in back. What do you say?

Okay.

Just gotta stop by a friend's house on the way.

Fine with me.

Margie? This is Ann.

Is Terry over there?

Have you seen him this afternoon?

He was supposed to be home at 4:00.

I've had dinner ready for hours.

Oh. Okay, well, thanks.

ANSWERING MACHINE: Thank you for calling Simon & Simon Investigations.

You can leave a message when you hear the beep.

Please leave your name and telephone number,

and we'll get back to you just as soon as we can. Thank you.

Mr. Simon,

this is Ann McDaniels, Terry McDaniels' mother.

Terry didn't come home this afternoon.

(SIGHS)

Is there any more gravy, Mom?

Do you still remember the way to the kitchen?

I went to the PTA Mother's Reunion last week.

Ah. Have fun?

Mmm-hmm.

Good.

Did you know that Tom Martin is a neurosurgeon in Buffalo?

Mmm-hmm.

Dropped his cookies the first day we hit the frogs in biology.

Bobby Lovejoy is VP for marketing,

Granite Corporation.

Bobby Lovejoy sat behind me in algebra.

Funny, always had the same answers I did.

Suzanne Schiffs, Legislative Assistant to Congressman Slayton.

You remember the year that we thought

she was an exchange student in Ecuador?

Walder Harper's in the Houston Ballet.

Of course, everyone asked about you two.

(SIGHING)

Now, don't bother getting up, Mom.

We'll do the dishes tonight.

We will?

Here.

I don't want it.

You might as well eat, kid.

You're not gonna be here long enough to go on a hunger strike.

I don't eat junk food.

Scully!

What?

He won't eat.

(LAUGHING)

Hey, come on. Is that a way for partners to act?

We're not partners.

SCULLY: Sure we are. We're gonna be rich.

I'm not gonna be rich.

Did you tell him that?

No.

I'm not lying to you, Ter.

You're gonna be rich and you're gonna be famous.

People are gonna write books about you, son.

Night, Mom.

Thanks for dinner.

Did you break any dishes?

No.

Take your hat off when you kiss a lady.

Hey, Rick? ANN ON PHONE: , , if he's still in your office.

Yo.

Listen to this.

Could you give me a call when you come in, please? Thank you.

(ANSWERING MACHINE REWINDING)

This is Ann McDaniels.

Terry didn't come home this afternoon,

and I was wondering if he's still in your office.

Could you give me a call when you come in, please?

Thank you.

(RINGING)

Terry.

No. Hi, Mrs. McDaniels, this is A.J. Simon.

Oh, yeah, hello.

I'm sorry to call you back so late. I just got your message.

A.J.: Has Terry come home yet?

No.

Well, he left our office at 3:30.

Have you called the police?

Over an hour ago.

They said they'd send somebody.

They will.

You don't happen to have Scully's home number, do you?

Hold on just one second, please.

Why?

Because if I were Scully,

I'd have to be thinking that any kid that could steal $700

could steal seven million dollars.

Of course, I'm a cynic.

To hell with it.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

What does it look like we're doing?

We're searching the place.

MAN: At 4:00 in the morning?

You guys cops or something?

Yeah, right.

You know where Scully is?

Probably at his girlfriend's.

Girl in the car.

Do you know her name?

Doris. Doris, Doris...

Doris. Got it.

Thank you.

Well?

We've got $3,700,000.

DORIS: You said we'd get five million at least.

I don't care what I said. Do you want to get away with this or not?

We gotta take the money from inactive accounts.

That'll give us a month until the transfers are discovered.

All right. Okay, sorry.

What are you doing?

I'm resetting the status flags.

You make the transfers yet?

No. Why not?

I'm tired.

If I don't get some sleep,

I'll probably make a mistake.

All right. Get a couple hours sleep in the other room,

but I wanna transfer the money before the bank opens.

Turn off the computer.

Should I log off the system?

Just do it right, okay?

Belathiel can hear the rats scurrying in the darkness.

He knows if he sleeps, they will attack.

If he only had a rope to lower himself from the tower.

If only he were a dwarf, then he could climb down.

DORIS: What are we gonna do with him all day?

We both have to show up for work. He can't stay here alone.

Don't worry about it.

You're gonna kill him, aren't you?

God, I hope you know what you're doing.

I know exactly what I am doing, Doris.

I've been waiting ten years for a chance like this,

and I'm not gonna worry about what happens to some kid

when there's four million dollars at stake.

So just shut up and let me work.

I said... (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(WHISPERING) Get a robe on.

DORIS: Just a minute.

RICK: Sorry to bother you, but the neighbors complained.

What?

Who are you? Do you know what time it is?

Yes, ma'am, we're private investigators.

DORIS: Just a minute, I'll open the door.

We're looking for your boyfriend, Scully.

We just went to his place, and he's not there. Now, where is he?

How should I know? He's not my boyfriend. I work for him.

When is the last time you saw him?

Yesterday.

I'll see him in a couple hours.

I'll tell him you're looking for him.

We think that your boy... Your boss

is in a lot of trouble.

Trouble like kidnapping, bank robbery.

If you see him, don't tell him that we're looking for him.

Just do us a favor and give us a call. All right?

Yeah, sure.

Who'd he kidnap?

I think you know who he kidnapped.

I hope I'm wrong, lady, 'cause if I'm not,

you're gonna go to prison, and about the only choice

you're gonna have is how long they send you away for.

And if Scully does anything to that kid,

you can count on seven years, minimum.

Unless, of course, you're just an innocent party

who got roped into this mess.

I don't know what you're talking about.

But if I see Scully, I'll call you.

Okay. Thanks.

All right. Now, you do everything right,

and this time tomorrow, you can go home, you can call the police,

it's not gonna matter, they're never gonna find us.

You behave yourself, and nothing is gonna happen to you.

But if you don't,

it's not just you who's gonna get hurt.

I'm gonna pay a visit to your mother, too.

Do you understand me?

Good.

Get dressed.

We're gonna make those transfers now.

Not now.

Hey, Rick? Yeah.

What kind of a car was Scully driving?

Hell, I don't know.

It looked like that one or that one or...

Hell, I don't know.

SCULLY: Terry, get in here.

Coming.

(COMPUTER BEEPING)

SCULLY: What happened?

TERRY: I don't know.

Enter a password.

I don't have a password.

Get out of there.

Get out of there, let me do this.

SCULLY: What in the hell did you do?

I stuck another trapdoor in, one you can't get out of.

He's gone.

A.J.: How long ago did this happen?

Hey, where are they?

Police.

RICK: A.J.? A.J.: Yo.

Come here.

Take a look at that.

"How to play A & D. Some place dark. Find the light, then go in.

"A dwarf could hide for days in the dungeons of W."

What's "W"?

Well, he didn't get a chance to finish it.

He was trying to tell us where he planned to hide.

Scully's got a gun.

He's gonna kill him.

All right, "How to play A and D." That's Angels and Demons. A and D.

"Some place dark. Find the light,

"then go in. Hide for days." Find the light.

(EXCLAIMS) The lighthouse out on the Point, it's just over the hill from here.

A.J.: Okay. RICK: All right.

"Some place dark."

Oh, the World War ♪♪ bunkers. We used to play there as kids.

Oh, yeah. All those tunnels interconnect.

He could stay away from him for days.

Yeah, he could stay away from us for days.

I don't know. I got a way we can find him, fast. Come on!

(GATE CREAKING OPEN)

(WHISTLING)

(RADIO CRACKLING)

Hold on.

This way.

(PANTING)

That's gotta be Scully. He's taken a wrong turn.

(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING)

RICK: Terry's down this one. He's running away from us.

(WHISPERING) Hey, Terry.

Stay where you are, it's us.

Say something so he'll believe you.

Um...

Your mom made meat loaf for dinner last night.

She said it was your favorite.

It was all I could think of.

Terry, stay where you are. We've got a light.

You figured it out.

Yeah, now let's get out of here.

All right, look, you guys go back that way.

Get back to the lighthouse, and I'll lead Scully down to the beach.

You're trapped down there. I can always swim.

You just get him out of here. No!

Move it! Rick!

Now!

Terry, keep moving!

(GUN FIRING)

(YELLING)

AJA.!

Look, I can make this by myself.

You sure? Yeah, I've done it before.

Okay, go. Get help. Okay.

(GROANING)

AJA.!

Hold on!

There's nothing left to hold on to!

I'm coming!

Rick!

You better pray he surfaces.

Are you all right?

Yeah! Are you?

Everything's under control.

Come on down, the water's great.

Since we're not gonna get paid for this job...

(PHONE RINGING)

MAN: Excuse me. Can I help you?

I know they don't work here,

but I'm looking for either A.J. Simon or Rick Simon.

I'm sorry, I don't know where they are.

Maybe we can help. I mean, if it's a detective you need...

I don't need a detective, thank you, but you could help.

I represent the San Diego First National Bank and Trust.

The firm of Simon and Simon

has done us a tremendous service

and very possibly saved the bank a large amount of money.

In recognition for their efforts,

we've decided to present them with a citation.

Perhaps you could give it to them for me.

Well, I think we can do that. Can't we, Daddy?

And you can tell them, should the occasion ever arise,

we'll be happy to refer customers to them.

Oh, I will. They'll be glad to hear that.

Thank you, very much. Goodbye.

That is really beautiful, isn't it? Look.

Get that thing out of here.

Well, now, Daddy, I thought you might like to give it to them.

Out!

(MAN CHATTERING ON TV)

What is this? $67.50

for a tune-up on your truck?

Yeah, I use it in business. What's wrong with that?

We don't have the money to pay for it,

that's what's wrong with it.

Well, if you'd gotten Scully to pay on delivery,

we'd be in good shape now, wouldn't we?

MAN ON TV: This time he's in trouble, He's gonna get sacked,

(GROANS)

He's gone round the 15 yard line by Oakland's Stork Hendricks,

Phone bill... Shine it on for a month.

(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)

If we don't have a phone, we're out of business.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

All right! All right!

MAN ON TV“. He's at the 20, breaks a tackle, cuts back against the grain.

He's got a clear field. 30, 35, 40, 45, mid-field strike.

45, 40. He's in the clear, and may go all the way.

A 30, and he's knocked out of bounds...

Hi. Hi.

Terry's decided to give you something, haven't you, Ter?

And a great tackle, a team-saving tackle,

But that's his computer.

Well, I'm kind of grounded when it comes to computers for a while.

You gonna leave that thing with us?

ANN: Mmm-hmm, sure.

Terry's gonna show you how to use it.

You can balance your checkbook.

Yeah?

Oh, no, A.J. does that. Can you play games on it?

Sure.

Well, hook it up and show me how it works.

The clock ticks down to the two minute warning. So...

Okay, hook up the terminal.

Are you sure you really wanna do this?

I want that thing out of the house.

Terry has to pay back the money he took from the bank.

I don't want him using that to do it.

See, this is the input

and this is the output.

RICK: Okay.

Black and gray, right? Black's the input? Yeah. Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I don't suppose we could get Terry to transfer

just a little money into our account, could we?