Original subtitles

[engine revving]

[engine revving]

[engine revving]

[can rattling]

[hissing]

[engine revving]

- Stupid wet-ass wood.

[branch cracks]

Show yourself!

Show yourself or I'll shoot!

- No need.

I-I come in peace.

I'm unarmed, promise.

- You alone?

- Just me.

- So you the guy writing all that Calypso BS?

- [Calypso] That's sign 327,

if you must know.

Would you care for a Brimbles?

I've got a Strawberry When Wet

with your name on it, mister...

- John.

How did you get that wood burning?

- Just a trick my father taught me.

- So who is this Calypso guy?

- Come on.

I'm sure your, uh-- your Milkman compatriots

all speak of him, right?

- Nope.

Feels like some bullshit.

- [Calypso] No. No, no, no, he-he's-he's very real.

Calypso, The Calypso,

will be the great uniter

of this broken nation.

- Now you sound like a salesman.

- Just a believer.

What? Don't you believe in anything?

- [John Doe] Believe in what?

I'm a Milkman on the outside.

Belief is false hope.

- [Calypso] Oh, John.

Belief is everything.

Otherwise,

what are you driving for?

Let's say you can make a wish, hmm?

For anything, your heart's deepest desire.

What are you wishing for?

[scoffs] - Okay.

A home, a family.

A place to park my car for good.

[laughing]

What's so funny?

- I mean, come on.

Look at you.

You are the captain of your own destiny.

You are accountable to you and you alone.

Are you really willing to sacrifice that?

Because, John,

other people can bring you down,

make you act against your own self-interest.

You have freedom now,

but freedom is best enjoyed alone.

- Yeah, well, I think you're wrong.

- What do I know?

I'm just a man with a ladder.

- So what about you?

What would you wish for?

- I think I'd wish to be seen.

To be noticed.

Yes, I think I'd like that very much.

Enjoy the drinks!

[ladder rattling, laughing]

- What the hell?

Hey!

♪

[tires squealing][gunfire]

- Where is she?!

- I got her.

- Whoo!

- Oh, fuck off, creep!

- [Chuckie] Come on! Come on!

Let's fucking go!

Oh, shit!

[tires squealing]

- Hey! Mayhem!

The missiles are tracking the package.

- Yeah, no, shit!

- All right, drive ahead, we'll watch your six.

- Okay, whatever!

[gunfire]

- Wanna do something?!

- [John Doe] I don't like the look of that spike thing!

[grunting]

[gasps]

- [Quiet] Oh, shit!

[groans]

- Krista, I could really use that EMP.

- I'm on my way.

- [Raven] First to cross the line. Fuck, yeah!

- It's nice to see you get your hands dirty, Raven.

It's about time.

- Cool stage.

- Oh, I wouldn't park here, if I were you.

[Mike and Dave laughing]

- Yeah, baby. - Whoo!

- Yeah. [laughter]

- [Chuckie] Whoo! Let's go, let's go!

[lullaby playing]

- I'm gonna circle a little bit more.

We just got our Lord Preacher down for his nappies.

[baby fussing]

Fuck! Frenjamin, quickly, unleash the tits.

- I'm empty and so very raw.

- Shit! Then get the Goldfish!

- [Sweet Tooth] Grimm's still out there. Turn around.

Let go of the wheel, Stu.

- Oh, shit! [yelling]

[grunting] Here you go.

[growling] [yelping]

- On the one hand, I am very mad.

But on the other hand, that was a very chaotic move.

And what are we, if not agents of chaos?

[chuckling]

But if you get in my way again,

I will end you.

- Oh, fuck.

[gunfire]

- [John Doe] I can't shake him! Get him off our ass!

- [Quiet] What do you think I'm doing?

- Here comes the cavalry!

- [John Doe] Oh, hell yeah!

- Go! I got Captain Crotch Rocket!

[gunfire]

Oh! It's time to end this party.

[electronic squeaking]

No! Come on, come on.

Piece of shit! I'll do it myself.

That's right. Run, you cowa--

[groans]

[squelching]

[gasping]

[wincing]

[groans]

[gunshot] - Game over.

[beeping begins]

Go win this.

- Hey! What the hell was that back there?

- I didn't ask for your help.

- Well, don't expect us to fly in

and save you again.

You are on your own.

I'm here for one reason and one reason only.

- Fine.

- Looks like that's everyone.

- Wait! There's another driver.

Come on, come on, come on.

- Dollface. Come in, Dollface.

Krista.

[crashes]

[engine cuts off]

- [Calypso] Is everyone accounted for?

Excellent.

Congratulations, one and all,

and welcome to Twisted Metal.

- John, I'm so sorry.- Yeah.

You don't have to worry about me. I'm good.

Not like she's the first person I know who died.

[amplified thumps] - Mic check, mic check.

Hello? Hi, everyone. Can ev-- can everyone hear me?

Okay. Raise your hand if you can hear me.

Great, great. Thank you.

Welcome to orientation.

If you look out your window, you'll see Tournament City.

I'm still workshopping the name.

So, anyway, moving on.

Here's how my tournament will work.

You will compete in multiple rounds,

each unique and more deadly than the last.

If you survive, you advance.

The last driver behind the wheel

gets their wish granted.

- You're not going to make it till sundown, Grimpletons.

- Ah, ah, ah!

I know there's still some tension from the qualifier,

but I have one very important rule.

No killing outside of an official round.

- What?! [groans]

- If you do-- if you do,

you'll be disqualified from my tournament.

- This sucks shit!

- You're not outside the walls anymore.

There are rules here, but there are also perks.

For one, I provided

delightful accommodations for you.

[Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta" playing]

[sighs]

- Great. High school. Again.

- [Calypso] First stop in orientation, medical.

[inhales sharply]

- [Doctor] 390.

Name?

[exhales] - Sweet Tooth.

- Vehicle name? - Also Sweet Tooth.

- Okay.

89 degrees.

- Hmm, seems high.

- We're also going to need a urine sample.

- Whoa, that is a small cup, Doc.

Might as well duck and cover,

because you're going to be in the splash zone.

Stu, get over here.

- Coming.

I'm his belt boy.

- Thank you, Stu.

- Malaria, Zika, dengue, Lyme, of course,

but everybody has that one.

And those are the ones I know I have.

[laughing]

- One more look.

Mnh-mnh.

- No? - No.

[sneezes]

- Vehicles must be stored in the auto shop at all times,

but you may make as many repairs and upgrades

between rounds as you'd like.

Our cafeteria will provide three meals a day.

There's a gym open 24 hours,

and you are free to roam the grounds at your leisure.

Now what everyone's been waiting for.

Room assignments.

[overlapping chatter]

- Oh, ho, social studies! - Social studies!

[laughing]

- Oh, the science room.

Stu, we're nerds!

[imitating electronic tones] Must kill my creator.

That's me doing a robot.

[laughing] - Yeah, science!

- Oh, it looks like it's going to be pretty cold in here,

so we should probably share a bed.

- Fuck, no.

- He likes me.

- Ah, 'sup, roomie?

- Jesus Christ. [laughing]

Are you fucking with me? Considering our past,

I thought you'd at least give me my own room.

- Unfortunately, our only single is reserved

for the baby and his parents.

- What do you mean you forgot the Pack-and-Play?!

- If you're displeased with your roommate,

you can simply kill him in the next round.

It's really not my problem, Raven.

You're not even supposed to be here.

- Yeah, well, plans change.

- No, plans don't change.

Otherwise, it wouldn't be called a plan.

You selected a driver, and you lost him.

You entering the tournament yourself

was not something we discussed.

- I'm the leader of the most powerful city

on the West Coast.

If I want to drive myself, then that's what I'll do.

You can play your game, but I'm getting my wish,

no matter what it takes.

- Just know that here in my city,

you're an outsider just like everyone else.

Oh, and, Rave, I'm warning you,

do not fuck with my tournament.

Oh, you've got a little something there.

- Look at us, man! Got a roof over our heads.

I mean, can it get any better than this?

- Better than bunking with my best bro?

Fat chance. [laughing]

- Ooh!

- Ah, hey.

Hey, uh, Mike,

Doesn't this place remind you of Juniper Prep?

- Yeah, it-it's crazy.

- We-we went there. - I picked up on that.

- Yeah, it's bringing back, like, so many memories.

Dude, do you remember when we did "The Boy is Mine"

in the winter talent show?

- Yeah, you-you crushed the Brandy parts.

- Well, a Brandy is only as good as her Monica.

[laughing]

- Stu, you gotta pull your weight.

This pillow fort ain't gonna build itself.

- Uh, you know, hey,

let's go, uh, sage the room,

get rid of all the bad juju in there, huh?

- Yeah, yeah. - Feel good, right?

Huh? See you, Stuart.

- Are we sure we want to get rid of mattresses?

They're so soft.

- Come on, beds are for squares.

Besides, with a pillow fort, you get to have a password.

It's "mekka lekka hi mekka hiney ho."

[laughing]

[laughing]

♪

- I know what you're feeling right now.

It's fucked up, and it's not fair.

I can't believe she isn't here.

But your sister was a warrior.

She believed in this fight more than anyone.

- It's just--

it wasn't supposed to be like this.

She was supposed to be here,

doing this with us.

- I wanted to enter this tournament

so no one else would have to die.

But you know what your sister said to me?

When one doll falls,

another picks up the mask.

We can't let anything get in our way,

not grief,

not the kid.

We have to win

for the outsiders,

for her.

- You're right.

[chimes play]

- [Calypso] My drivers,

please report to the cafeteria.

- Well, we won't have to wait long.

At least he didn't do that weird gi--

[giggling] No, there it is.

- Oh, hell yeah! Beers! [laughing][sputters]

[tray clatters] [Holy Man giggling]

[sighs]

[giggling]

[snarls]

- Can someone help me get a fucking sandwich?

♪

- Hey, Stu.

I know what you're trying to pull.

I've seen the way you're acting with Mike,

and I don't like it.

I freaking love it.

You want to be a part of the inner circle?

Yeah. Guess what? We got space, muchacho.

Okay? Cheers, bro.

[clinks bottles]

- Harold wants a new sandwich.

That one still had the crust on it.

- They all have crust on them. [banging doors]

[chimes play]

- Good to see you've all settled in.

I see the post-round libations are a hit.

[coughing]

- The sandwiches are actually really good.

They have a peanut butter one,

and they have a cheese one,

and they've also got potato cream,

and they've got one that's kind of a French toast one.

- Okay.

Now comes the fun part.

One by one, you'll each be called in to make your wish.

One wish per car.

If you win, I will grant it,

no questions asked.

So think carefully now.

What do you want most?

What one thing is worth

risking everything for?

[giggling]

Hilarious.

Look at all your faces, so serious.

Ah, it is a heavy choice, though.

So think carefully.

[giggling]

[chimes play]

Frostbite, please enter.

- It's just a door.

[door clicks, Sweet Tooth growls]

- Fuck yeah! Fight, fight, fight, fight!

- I'm glad I didn't kill you back at Black Fields.

All those years, you just had to sit and wait,

wondering when the end would come.

Well, the wait is over. - Stop it!

This isn't what we're here for.

You want to kill him now?

- I think that's pretty obvious, Stu.

- Well, cool, go ahead,

but no one will hear about it,

because we'll be out of the tournament.

And one of these other assholes will win,

and everyone will know their name, not yours.

You'll just be the dumb clown who never made it to the end.

- That's a great point. Stu. [snarls]

[chimes play]

- [Calypso] Mr. Grimm, please enter.

- You are larger than us and stronger.

But there are thousands of souls within,

and we never get tired.

But you, Marcus,

you look exhausted. [chuckling]

[screaming]

[whistles] - Drama.

[chimes play]

- [Calypso] Raven, come forth.

- Okay.

♪

[chimes play]

- [Calypso] And then there were two,

John and Quiet.

- You good?

- Yeah.

[door slams]

What the hell is this place?

- I wish for all the walls to come down...

in every city everywhere.

[bell dings]

I guess that's it, then.

- The mask.

[door shuts]

[laughing] Oh! No way!

- Think of it as a birthday gift.

- It's my birthday?

- It was weeks ago. December 5th.

But, you know, I thought we could celebrate,

in case this is your last.

- Thank you.

- Oh, don't thank me until you try it on.

I'm not used to making men's clothes.

- I'm not worried about that.

I pretty much look good in anything.

[laughing] - Wow.

- I want to thank you for giving me my birthday back.

It's a weird feeling, getting something back

that you didn't know you were missing.

- You're welcome, John.

Throw that thing on. We have a tournament to win.

♪

- I wish to bring Krista back to life.