Original subtitles

Well, another space shuttle's going up

with some research animals on it.

Now I hope this time they send some real rats

like Daryl Gates and Howard Stern

and Rush Limbaugh.

- Oh, man. - What's wrong, Roc?

I just added up all the hospital bills from having the baby.

After the insurance pays 80%, we're still gonna owe $1600.

Oh, God. How are we gonna pay that?

Well, we're gonna have to cut back on the utilities.

I think we're gonna start with the electricity.

The TV can only be on two hours a day.

Well, Roc, it cuts off after an hour, anyway

'cause it starts cracklin' and smokin'.

Well, if we really wanna save some money

we can, uh, open up the back of the TV

and bake potatoes in it.

Hey, hey.

- Hey, Joey. - What?

Cassandra said she can't go out with you tomorrow night.

She said she had to wash her hair.

Well, that's, uh, that's too bad.

Ooh, Joey, you gonna buy that?

Now that's the oldest excuse in the books.

Sound to me like she don't really wanna go out with you

but she trying to spare your feelings.

I know and it almost worked

but she done shot that all to hell.

Better call her and give a piece of my mind--

Oh, no, no, no, no. Unh-unh, no, unh-unh, no.

No, no. We got a big hospital bill

and we're trying to save some money.

You got your apartment now

you can't use this phone anymore.

Alright. I'll use the one in the kitchen.

What did I tell you? No!

Alright, alright, alright. I'll just make a sandwich.

Look, didn't I tell you we economizin'?

You can't eat all your meals here anymore.

Uh, Eleanor, you got any waffle mix

some, uh, syrup and some eggs?

Joey, didn't you hear what Roc just said?

Yeah, I know, but if I can't eat here

I'm gonna stock up.

♪ Baby ♪

♪ There's a man ♪

♪ With no future so it seems ♪

♪ Can't live out his dreams ♪

♪ Now he's trapped into thinking ♪

♪ He won't succeed ♪

♪ And he can't believe ♪

♪ Live your life today ♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Not for tomorrow ♪ Not for tomorrow ♪

♪ Ah ♪ Oh ♪

♪ Live your life today ♪

- Hey, sweetheart. - Hey, baby.

Ooh.

Your son can't seem to get enough to eat.

I got a feelin' I'm gonna be up with him all night again.

Oh, sweetheart, you know, watching you sitting there

breastfeeding our son

almost brings a tear to my eye.

Oh, well, natural things like that

are kind of beautiful, you know.

Well, you know, it's not that, you know.

It's knowing that he's eating for free.

Oh, Roc.

Well, that's not the only good thing about breastfeeding.

The mother's milk is more nutritious for the baby.

Has less fat than formula

and it helps to develop the immune system.

I don't know why more sisters don't breastfeed.

Yeah, you're right, sweetheart.

Hey, son, so you like that low-fat, vitamin-enriched

good-tasting mama's milk, don't you, huh?

Just remember, the best things in life

are either free or real cheap.

- Alright. Hey, Roc, sis. - Hmm.

I got some really messed up news I wanna talk to you about

so you better sit down, Roc.

What's going on? What's wrong? What's, what's wrong?

Alright. It's been three weeks and four days

since I had my last date.

Me, Joey Emerson, dateless.

- Hey! - Well, that's a shame, Joey.

I guess being jobless and penniless

doesn't make you quite the catch you used to be, huh?

Sheila, baby, what's wrong with your arm?

- What's the matter? - Uh, she fell off a bike.

- I think I broke it. - Let me see.

Oh, Roc, she gotta go to emergency room--

Okay, okay, okay, I'll get the car. I'll get the car.

Now, Sheila, keep your arm real still, baby.

Hey, hey, maybe I can break out of my slump

if I answer one of these ads in the personal.

Hey, hey, check this one out.

"Attractive aerobics instructor seeks charming man

"for long walks, picnics in the park

and midnight rendezvous."

- Hmm. - "Phone 5-5-5-3-9-8-2.

Ask for... Frank."

Brilliant offer.

Mr. Emerson?

Yes.

We're all Mr. Emersons, but I'm the one with the money.

- Uh, how's Sheila? - Sheila will be fine.

All she's got is a small fracture in her arm.

- Oh, okay. - Oh, so it's nothing serious?

No, it isn't, but she'll need

physical therapy when the cast comes off.

Well, thank you for helping Sheila

Nurse, uh, Williams.

I'm Joey Emerson. I'm her other guardian.

Well, she's a very special little girl.

Well, yes, she is, and she's very lucky

to have somebody care for her who is as professional

and attentive and sensitive

and shapely and has such sensual--

Joey, Joey, Joey. You wanna, you wanna sit down?

If you'll sign this form

the bill will be mailed to you.

Look, why-why don't I just take care of this all now

and get it out of the way, okay?

Sure. Just see the cashier.

Alright. Thank you.

- Pop, did you see that? - Mm-hmm.

It's my best stuff, one of my greatest hits.

I use my sensual hands bit

coupled with the hypnotic eye routine.

But nothing. She's left a cold brother.

What-what, am I losing my touch?

Oh, no, you're not, son.

I'm sure if you put your mind to it

you can charm that young woman

into the kind of meaningless relationship you want.

Thanks, pop.

Wow. Man, look how hard you're workin'.

You know, being a nurse must be a real rewarding profession.

You know, I-I probably would have got into medicine myself

but being a musical prodigy, I was sidetracked

with the success of the trumpet.

And what do you do?

Well, I'm retired now

so I guess you could say I'm the chief engineer

in charge of the, uh, remote control.

Hey, uh, did I mention that sometimes I sit in

with Arsenio Hall's band?

Yeah, you probably can't see me 'cause they always put me

behind the congress, but I'm there

redefining music as we know it. Well, yeah, you--

You know, I have a break coming up.

Would you like to get some coffee or something?

Why, thanks...

...but, uh, we have to get Sheila home.

Well, if you're ever around the hospital again

stop by and say hi.

I like coffee.

Well, well, no, no, no, no, no. This just can't be right.

Eight hundred dollars! All she had was a broken arm.

That cast, but I have a Rolex watch on.

What form of payment will you be using today?

Oh, none. That goes on my insurance.

I'm sorry, but the computer shows

that Sheila's not a legal dependent

so she's not covered by your insurance.

Well, then take my brother off and put her on.

- I can't do that. - Wait a minute.

You mean I'm supposed to pay this whole thing?

Now, look, my wife just had a baby, right?

I mean, in between my wife's pregnancy

a-and the medical bills for the baby, right

and the, and the physical therapy Sheila's gonna need

I'll be in the poorhouse.

I understand completely.

We take Visa or Master Charge.

Whoa, n-no, I can't afford this!

Excuse me.

Are you gonna be much longer, Roc?

I'm on my lunch break

and I gotta get Tony back to school.

Uh, hey, Pam, how are you doing?

Look, I'm having a little problem here.

Hey, hey, Tony, how are you doin', man?

I had to pull him out of school again today.

We had another diabetic episode.

The doctor says it's getting worse.

He's gonna need insulin injections.

I mean, well, that-that should help a little, shouldn't it?

If I can afford it.

We don't have insurance. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Mr. Emerson, I don't have all day with this.

Now if you'd like to make a more flexible payment plan

go see Financial Services.

Well, where are they?

Follow the blue line on the floor

until it turns into a red line.

Then just before it turns into a green line

take the purple line all the way to the end.

Well, then can I have some breadcrumbs

so I can find my way back?

Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for a Mr. Cole

the, uh, hospital administrator.

Yeah, that's-that's me.

Just-just one minute, please.

Gwen, I've got another budget meeting at 4 o'clock

and I can't find my aspirin

and I can't find my Pepto-Bismol.

Oh, here, here it is.

It's right behind my scotch.

Uh, uh, don't let that happen again.

Well, uh, Mr. Emerson, what seems to be the problem?

Financial Services said you'd be up.

What-what's the problem?

Well, the problem is, you know

I-I can't afford to pay this now.

Now I asked Financial Services to combine this bill

with the bill from my wife's pregnancy

and Sheila's, uh, physical therapy, you know

and put together a-a payment plan for the whole thing.

Now I was thinking, you know, something like $40 a month.

But they said I had to pay $150 a month.

Well, we calculate our installments

on an ability-to-pay basis.

Uh, uh, let me see this, uh, insurance.

Says right here, you have steady employment.

Well, do you also understand, you know, we just had a baby?

- 'Yeah.' - And my father lives with us.

And my brother, you know, he lives off us.

And, uh, and this bill is for a little girl

who just, who's just staying with us.

Oh, the person who has the injury

is the one who's not on the policy.

Boy, isn't that life all over?

Uh, yeah, well, uh, Mr., uh, Mr. Emerson

you understand that this hospital has some

it has some very serious financial problems.

Now there are people in this community

a lot of people, who cannot pay their bills.

So in order to-to minimize the shortfall

we, we have to impose a-a much stiffer payment schedule

on the people who can pay, like-like you.

Uh, so the bottom line is

I'm not poor enough to get free healthcare

and I'm not rich enough to pay the bill.

- Well, I-I wouldn't put it-- - Well, of course, you wouldn't.

You're trying to get me to pay the bill!

Now, please, please, please

just try to remain calm.

My job is hard enough as it is.

I have enough stomach acid to digest a brick.

I-I'm having a little, I'm having a little trouble

with, uh, some of these figures on here.

I mean, like, like-like this one.

You know, like "Gauze, 68.00." Now what does that code mean?

Well, that isn't a code. That's the charge.

Well, you mean to tell me you're charging me $68 for gauze?

Did I buy gauze for the whole hospital?

I didn't know that! No, I didn't know that.

Hey, hey, hey, the gauze is on me!

Hey, everybody, step right in!

Oh, no, no, Mr., Mr., Mr. Emerson, please.

As I already told you, in order to-to keep the doors

open for the indigent

the people who can pay more are charged more.

You know, Mr. Cole, look, Mr. Cole, I know the people

in this community you call indigent.

Like my friend Pam and her son, I don't see them

getting any of this free healthcare you're talking about.

So why don't you quit using poor people as an excuse?

Alright, alright.

You're right. You're-you're right about that.

The bill also reflects other things.

It reflects the drug cost, it reflects the doctor's fees

and some doctors and some drug companies overcharge

because they, well, because they can.

Well, look, look, look, I'm-I'm in a bind here.

Look, I mean, can you cut me some slack?

Listen, just let me pay the $40 a month, okay?

No, if the Financial Services said it's $150, it's $150.

We have to draw the line somewhere.

Oh, so you're drawing the line with me, huh?

Listen, Mr. Cole...

...all my life, I've paid every bill I've ever gotten.

I've never asked anyone for a free ride.

But, Mr. Cole, you don't seem to give a damn

what my situation is.

So I'm gonna tell you my payment policy.

I'm not paying this bill.

If you don't pay the bill

we're going to take legal action.

Well, if I have to go to court to defend what I think is right

then so be it.

By the way, how do, how do I get out of here?

You take the green line till you find the pink--

Oh, man.

- Hey, son. - Hey, pop.

- Daddy, here's mail for you. - Oh.

Hmm.

Ah.

Oh, this is a chain letter.

Well, daddy, don't do that. That could bring us bad luck.

Well, I'm already sharin' a house with my two sons

a garbage man and an unemployed gambler.

I'll take my chances.

Look what we got.

Here's the hospital bill for Sheila's broken arm.

Throw it away. Throw it away, Eleanor.

I told that guy I'm not paying for that.

- Roc. - Well, look, that guy...

I don't like that guy's attitude, you know what I mean?

He's gotta learn that medical care, you know

isn't about budgets, it's about people.

Roc, it's not Mr. Cole's fault.

I mean, you can't blame him. I work at that hospital

and it's true, they are in a bind.

They're in a bind because they overcharge.

You know, there's a charge for the guy who takes the X-rays

another charge for the guy who looks at it

and a charge for the guy who puts the cast on.

I mean, what if a garbage man charge like that, Eleanor?

What if I said, "Hey, hey, hey, that will be $10

"for putting, taking a lid off that can, $5 for putting it on

"and another $10 for-for cleaning up

behind the knuckleheads who don't tie their twist tops."

Roc, only you can start out

talkin' about the healthcare crisis

and end up on garbage etiquette.

Now, Eleanor, Eleanor, you seem to be missing my point.

Look, I-I, I made a decision and I'm sticking to it.

Now throw that away.

Roc, you never threw a bill away in your life.

You're just not that kind of person.

Well, I'm gonna throw this one away.

So go, just go and do it, please.

Throw it away.

I know you, Roc. That bill is not gonna stay

in that trashcan.

It's gonna haunt you until you pay it.

'Roc, would you pick up some bread'

'on your way back from the hospital?'

Hey, pop. What are you doing here?

I brought Sheila for her physical therapy.

Uh, what are you doing here?

Oh, I'm trying another shot at that Nurse Williams.

I got a whole new approach worked out. Check this out.

Okay, she's a nurse, right? So I'm gonna play on her sympathy.

I'm gonna tell her I messed up my ankle.

Check out this limp. I'm quite proud of this one.

Ah. Ah. See?

Oh, Joey, when are you gonna learn?

Women see right through those games.

If I were you, I'd be honest with her.

- Honesty, huh? - 'Hmm.'

That's a scam I haven't tried yet. I'm gonna check...

Well, she's there now, pop. Wish me luck.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, Nurse Williams?

- Oh, hello, Mr. Emerson. - Uh, hello, listen.

I know I came on a little strong the last time I was here

and I apologize for that.

Uh, the truth is I find you very attractive

and I'd like to get to know you better.

I like a man who says what's on his mind.

So then you'll, uh, have dinner with me sometime?

- That'd be nice. - Oh, that's great.

That's great. Uh...

I-I haven't had a date in a long time, you know.

I know what you mean.

I mean, it's so hard to meet nice people.

Now I don't have any trouble meeting people

but I've been in such a bad slump lately.

But I'm back now, you know.

That's what this is all about. Breaking your dating slump.

Slump, what? Now, d-did I say slump?

No, I, no, I, what I meant was I have a, I had a limp lately.

See, I, I, I had a limp.

Got some shrapnel when I was in Desert Storm

and it, and it, and it...

Anyway, I just struck out, didn't I?

- Have a nice dinner. - Struck out.

I, well, I went down...

Hey, Pam, how you doing?

Tony got really sick, Roc.

They started him on the insulin

and she's giving me a hard time on the bill.

Mrs. Brooks, I'm only pointing out

that with the added cost of the insulin

your usual $30 a month just isn't enough.

Where do you want me to get the money, Miss Hawkins?

I work two jobs to pay you now.

Oh, come on, give her a break. She'll find a way to pay you.

Mr. Emerson, would you like to come back here and do my job?

Well, if I did, I'd have a little more

you know, understanding.

Look, if you don't give me a break

I really don't know what I'm gonna do.

I can't afford the medicine

and I don't have health insurance.

Uh, it's not much better when you have insurance.

I got 80% coverage and I still owe $3000.

- Three thousand dollars! - It could have been more.

I had a car accident. They wanted to keep me here.

But with these prices, I decided

to go home and get well in my own bed.

Well, if you'd rather talk than pay your bill

would you mind if I took care of these other people?

- Who's next? - W-wait-wait a minute.

Hold it, hold it, everybody. Wait a minute.

Man, this is important now.

I mean, somebody's gotta question these crazy bills.

Why do we pay these high prices, huh?

And why do you have to suffer just because you don't have

health insurance? I mean, that's not fair.

Healthcare has to be a right, not a privilege.

Oh, no. The bald guy's back again.

Hey, Mr. Cole. Mr. Cole, could you come here a minute, please?

Yes, certainly. Uh, get me my Pepto-Bismol.

Mr. Cole

I'd like you to meet the faces behind your hospital bills.

See, whenever you charge somebody, uh

$500 for an X-ray or $10 for an aspirin

there's a human being who has to live with it.

I'd pay $20 for an aspirin right now.

I want you to meet my friend Pam here.

I mean, did you know she has to work two jobs

just so she can try to put a little dent in her bill?

And her son needs insulin

to stay alive and she can't afford it?

And this man, this man refused treatment he needed

because he was afraid he couldn't pay the bill!

- No, I-I-I didn't know that-- - Look-look-look.

We're all hard-working responsible people

and we're willing to pay our bills

but these prices are crazy.

He's right, Mr. Cole.

Yeah, what we need is a bit more help with these bills.

I'm not gonna have to, I don't have to listen to this.

You, sir, are a troublemaker.

We're going to take a little walk down the security...

We're going to take a little walk down to the secur...

Please, let me just talk to you privately just for a minute.

Please.

The last thing I need is for you to be stirring up

these people in here.

Now if you'll just get out of my hair

you can pay your $40 a month.

No, forget it. Forget it, Mr. Cole.

When I started this, I was worried about my bill.

But you know something, Mr. Cole, you've educated me.

Now I've learned what goes on in this hospital.

You don't give a damn about the people

you're supposed to be serving.

I mean, I see the way you've treated my friend Pam here.

So if you think I'm gonna cut a deal with you, you're crazy!

- Shh! Mister-- - Look, everybody, look.

Everybody here and everybody in this country

has to do something about this healthcare situation

or it's just gonna get worse.

Now I don't know what you all are gonna do

but I'm gonna tell you what, I'm making my stand

right here and now. Enough is enough.

I-I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

Which is the way, the best way to the-the psychiatric ward?

Uh, follow the yellow line--

Until it turns into the blue line...

Uh, Nurse Williams? Hey.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, I...

I just came by to apologize for everything, okay?

Now I admit I was trying to use you

to break my dating slump, but slump or no slump

I'd really like to get a chance to know you.

Joey, if you'd just been straight with me

from the beginning, things might have been different.

So i-it's not possible to have a second chance?

- Well, no more games? - No more games.

I'm h-honest, no more games. I'm on the level.

See, I want you to get to know the real Joey Emerson, see?

I want you to understand something that

I'm-I'm-I'm nothing like...

...nothing like...

...like her...

What was I saying?

You were sayin' goodbye.

Now, wait, hold-hold, wait a minute, wait-wait.

Hold on, wait. No, I, uh, I'm not interested in her.

I thought that was my cousin. Uh...

Excuse me, did you see where... No, you were reading.

How are you doing? I'm Joey Emerson.

I'm with Arsenio's band. Hey.