Original subtitles

- Hey, everybody. - Hey.

Hey, babe.

- Hey, Mr. Emerson. - Hey, sweetheart.

Is it okay if I go to the record store?

Why sure, as long as you're home by dinner.

Cool.

Oh, and, uh, Mr. Emerson, uh,

before I go, I think we have a little business to take care of.

Oh, yeah. That's right.

There you go, sweetheart. Run along.

I meant my allowance. You didn't forget, did you?

No, he didn't forget. He tries that kiss on the head

trick with me too.

Alright.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

Whoa, a whole dollar.

You know, I wouldn't have to ask so you often

if you give these things out more than one at a time.

Oh, go on. Get on, now.

Hey, hey, hey, Eleanor. Ha-ha.

They posted the new job openings down at work!

Oh, Lord. Here we go.

Joey, I'm not looking for new job for you

I'm looking for me.

Oh, well in that case, aim high.

I will. 'Cause one of us has to.

Here, Eleanor, here.

There's an opening in management.

Yeah, let's see.

Oh, it says, you need five years experience. You've got that.

Yeah, and I got a good work record too.

- Uh-huh, good people skills. - Yeah.

Oh, sorry Rocky, you were so close.

Mm-hmm.

I got great people skills, you jackass.

Oh.

Must be in good health.

I can vouch for that.

And must have... oh, no, Roc.

Have a high school diploma, hmm.

Well, that's the one thing I don't have.

Well...

Hey, Roc, look here, you know, for $50

I'll rent mine, you can just white out my name.

Joey, get out of here.

See, if you had a high school diploma

you'd be smart enough to realize what a good deal it is.

- Oh, well, you-- - You know, I didn't have--

♪ There's a man ♪

♪ With no future ♪

♪ So it seems ♪

♪ Can't live out his dreams ♪

♪ Now he's trapped into thinking he won't succeed ♪

♪ And he can't believe ♪

♪ Live your life today ♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Not for tomorrow ♪ Not for tomorrow ♪

♪ Live your life today ♪

Oh, damn, Eleanor, you know I really wanted a shot

at being in management.

Ah, you know...

You know, I should've stayed in school.

Oh, Roc, you had your reasons for dropping out.

Your mama died in the middle of your senior year.

Baby, that be hard on anybody.

But you know, it's never too late

to go back and get your high school diploma.

Oh, come on, sweetheart, no. No, no, no.

Hey, hey, hey.

You'll need any help drying the dishes?

Oh, heck. You're finished.

Hey, hey, Joey, Joey, Joey. Let me ask you something.

You know, how come you always know

when to come in, just at the precise moment

we're dryin' the last dish, huh?

You peekin' through the door or somethin'?

No, actually, I check the pressure

in the bathroom, upstairs.

See, when the water pressure goes back up

I know you're finished.

Yeah, see it's simple physics that any high school graduate

would, whoops...

Ah, Eleanor, you, you understand what I'm talking about, right?

Okay, I'll give you simple physics I know.

A foot flying at the right velocity

will kick a stationary butt, right in the--

- Joey. - Yeah.

You leave Roc alone now. He feels bad about

not graduating and I'm telling him he can still do it.

Oh, baby, look. Come on, Eleanor...

I'm too old to go back to school. Come on.

Hey, hey, Roc, all you gotta do is

take a test, it called General Educational Development Test.

Yeah, I know, Joey. It's the GED, you know.

Hey, but I just can't jump into this thing

you know, I gotta, I gotta think about it.

Let me go empty the garbage, it'll make me feel better.

I missed you, man.

Eleanor, El-Eleanor, I told you to remind me

to put a dead bolt lock on that door.

That's cool, man, you know, just, you know

don't lock me at your heart, man.

Oh, George, don't mind him. Roc's got a lot on his mind.

He's thinkin' about going back for his high school diploma.

Oh, that's great. You know, I was gonna go back

and get my high school diploma too, but they tore down

the high school and turned into a mall.

So I just went down and got my school clothes.

Hey, man, can we, can we help you with somethin'?

Oh, yes. See, I need to get some old clothes from Roc

'cause you know, Halloween is coming up, you know

and I want to go as Roc.

Hope you don't plan on gettin' much candy.

See, I've been workin', you know, see I've been workin'

on this, see, I already got the tied down, you know

I've been workin' on it already, you know...

So, I can get Roc down, it's like

Joey, Joey, you need to get a job now.

Oh, George, not now, George.

Eleanor, hmm-hmm-hmm.

You know, I got...

Get the hell out of here.

Roc, if you really wanna get your diploma, you can get one.

It's gonna take a lot of hard work now

but, baby, you can do anything you set your mind to.

Hey, I mean, you know, 'cause if I get my diploma, you know

I mean, I'd qualify for that management job, you know.

I mean, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm...

I'm gonna stop driving the truck, you know.

There's no future, in tossing cans...

Eleanor, the future...

The future of garbage is under new technology

of collecting trash.

I can see it now, Eleanor, whole new world of garbage

opening up.

I mean, conveyor belts, you know.

Cans that empty themselves.

You know, lasers, that, um

that, that that burn garbage,

and convert them into fuel.

I don't know where garbage is going, Eleanor

but I wanna be a part of it.

Yeah, buddy, I can see it now.

Roc following his dream.

Pickin' up trash on the space-shuttle.

Ow.

And secure the blessings of liberty

to ourselves, and our posterity

ah, to, to, ordain, and establish this constitution

for The United States of America.

Yeah, that's what the Preamble says.

But what it doesn't tell you is that

the constitution is a racist imperialist document.

Written by no good property owners.

Pop, maybe those powdered wigs

drove them crazy, alright?

Now, what's, what's the next question, pop?

You see, the Founding Fathers were

a bunch of rich greedy land owners.

And all these historic documents

are basically the by-laws of their home-owners association.

It's as if they divided the country into 13 condominiums.

Pop, they're all dead now. Let it go.

Besides, if it is on the test

I don't wanna know about it, pop.

Alright, son, if you wanna douse the torch of truth

and stumble around in the darkness of ignorance...

Oh, yeah, yeah, why that, I'd like, I'd like that, pop.

Well, it just bothers me, son

that there's no black history on this test.

Take Hannibal, for instance.

The greatest military genius of all times.

They want you to believe he was a white man

named Victor Mature.

And Cleopatra wasn't a fine black queen.

She was a white girl named Liz Taylor.

Yo, pop, you know you might be right about that, pop

but look, I gotta learn this stuff for the test now.

Now, you're gonna help me or what?

Alright, son. I'll just keep my opinions to myself.

Okay, okay, alright, alright. Well, thank you, pop.

Now the phrase, secure the blessings of liberty...

Liberty? Ha-ha.

Washington and Jefferson are probably in hell right now

laughing at that one.

And so the Greek warrior, Odysseuys

came up with this plan, right, to take this city of Troy

and he planted this big wooden horse.

Alright, what was Odysseus' Roman name?

Ulysses.

Alright, he planted this big wooden horse...

Now, what would your Roman name be?

Rockess Bald Headuss?

I don't know, Joey, but yours would have to be

Joeyuss Freeloadus.

Stop playing with me, boy.

- We got a lot of work to do. - Alright, alright.

Now, Odysseus planted this wooden horse

at the gates of Troy, right?

And he filled it up with soldiers, and at dawn--

So, okay, wait a minute, how did he get the Trojans

to accept the horse?

He told them it was a gift, right? So at dawn--

And this Trojan horse is a symbol of what modern consumer

product involving safe sex?

Joey, you know, I think the only reason

you agreed to help me study

was so, you can have fun sitting here, messing with me.

But it's not gonna be any fun because I know all the answers.

No, no. See that's not it.

You want me to quiz you on all this easy stuff.

If you really wanted to know about Greek Mythology

you'd let me hit you with some of these tough questions.

Well, you can ask me all the tough questions you got.

Alright, I'm gonna lay you out now. Check this out.

- Alright. - Alright.

Name the goddesses of fire, of sleep

and fertility of the land.

Hestia.

Presephone.

And Demeter.

Yeah, you're right. It's no fun when you know all the answers.

Hey, hey, pop.

Hey, pop, name the goddess of fire.

So, as soon as fertilization occurs

the chromosomes split and recombine

into their respective cells.

They share DNA from both parents

and this is called mitosis.

- Ah, Eleanor. - Mmm-hmm.

We got a problem.

What's that?

All this talk about fertilization and mitosis...

Uh-huh.

Makes me wanna recombine with you.

Oh, Roc, I'm talkin' about this

in the most clinical way possible.

I know.

It's different.

I like it.

Oh, Roc...

You gotta concentrate now, baby.

Okay, now.

Within the nucleus of each cell, there's a number of...

You're right, I like it too. Come on, let's go, big daddy.

Hey, you two. How would you like to take in a movie, huh?

Ha-ha-ha. The treat is on me.

Your treat? Thanks, that really nice.

Oh, don't get too excited.

Between the senior citizen's discount

and the child's discount, and his coupon

he'll spend all of two dollars.

That's a buck for you

and a buck and a coupon for you, pop.

Hell if I gotta take this practice test, you know

so I could really use the peace and quiet.

- Alright, okay, son. - Ha-ha-ha.

- Go ahead and study. - Good luck.

Alright, pop, you know.

Oh, no, I gotta, I gotta get a timer.

I only get five minutes on this thing.

Okay. Five minutes...

Okay, peace and quiet. Peace and quiet.

Ah, music.

Music will do it. Music will do it.

Hey, son!

Hey, Mr. Emerson, how'd you do on that test?

I failed.

What do you mean you're not gonna take the GED exam?

Just 'cause you failed that practice test?

Don't you want that management job?

Yeah, I do, sweetheart, but I guess, you know

that's out of my reach, you know.

I'll just stay with drivin' a truck.

Oh, Roc, if you don't get that diploma

and you go for that job later

I just know you're gonna regret it.

Well, what's one more, you know, one more regret?

Hey, hey, hey.

So, what's for dinner?

I got regrets I'm already livin' with.

What're we talkin' about here?

Roc is thinkin' about not taking the GED test.

He says, he can't take it 'cause

it's too hard and he's too old.

Well, he's right.

So what're we having? Beef or fish?

Joey! This is serious.

Look, look, it's my decision

whether to take the test or not.

If I don't wanna take it, I don't have to take it.

Oh, you're right, son.

You don't have to get your diploma.

Just 'cause black folks fought and marched

and died for the right to get an education

in this country, doesn't mean you have to have one.

Just 'cause those children

in Little Rock in 1957 risked their lives to go

to a decent school, just 'cause

James Meredith had to fight his way in Ole Miss

just 'cause millions of our people gave up their sweat

and tears and blood, so you can take this test

it doesn't mean that you have to--

- Oh, alright. - Oh, alright, pop, alright.

Pop, please, alright, I'll take this test.

Pop, alright, okay, okay. Alright. Alright.

But let me ask you something

you know, why don't you ever give Joey

inspirational speeches about gettin' a job?

Well, Joey's problem exists in a completely different

socio-political context.

And besides, he walks away.

Like this.

Okay, come on, baby, let's do one last quiz.

I'm gonna get a good night's sleep for this test tomorrow.

Alright, you got it, baby.

Okay, question number one, you ready?

- Yeah. - Alright.

"At the end of World War II

Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin.."

Oww.

What's wrong?

Oh nothing, I'm just having a contraction.

Oh, well now

last time, I heard that, that meant you're having a baby

and if you're having a baby, then we gotta, we gotta--

No, Roc, it's too early. This couldn't be the real thing.

Now please, let's get on back to work.

Go on, it's okay. Alright.

"At the end of World War II

Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin.."

Ow!

Wait a minute, now, you sure, you're okay?

Oh, Roc...

If I were really having a baby, the contractions will be coming

faster and stronger.

Now please, it's okay. It's okay.

"At the end of World War II

Churchill, Roosevelt and.."

- Ow, ow ow. - No, no, no.

El-El Eleanor, is this it?

- Oh, I think this is it. - You really think this is it?

- I really think this is it. - Hey, pop!

This is it! Hey, Joey, hey, Joey, this is it!

This is it! This is it! This is it!

This is it, pop, this is it!

Everybody, this is it. Get, get, get the door.

Okay, come on, come on. Get her a coat.

Get a coat. Give me the coat.

Give me the coat. Get the car, get the car.

Pop, come on. Pop, come on.

This is it! This is it!

This is it!

I really thought this was it.

I thought, I thought it was too, baby.

Hey, uh, look here.

Next time, you think, this is it

don't call me until you see at least a leg or a wing

or something.

Well, I still want to come along when it happens for real.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah, somethin' to see alright.

The miracle of birth.

By the way, uh, while we're on the subject

where do babies come from?

- 'Uh..' - Well, uh, they fly...

- They, you know... - Gotcha!

I'm just kiddin' with you guys. I already know.

- Oh. - Oh, girl...

Ooh, that was fun, goodnight.

Oh, Roc baby, I'm so sorry.

I kept you from studyin'.

You know, Eleanor

ever since I decided to take this test

it's been one hassle after another, you know.

Maybe somebody's tryin' to tell me somethin'.

Oh, Roc, you're just nervous.

You're gonna do fine on that test tomorrow.

You just need to get some sleep, baby.

Yeah, but the test is in five hours, sweetheart

no use going to sleep.

I might as well hit the books again.

Alright, goodnight, baby.

They give out pencils here, right?

Ah, there's no place like home.

Oh, man! George, what're you doing here?

Oh, man, I was having this magical dream, man

it was like you as a tin man, and Joey was like the scarecrow

and so, who was going on a yellow big road, singing

♪ Ease on down ease on down down down ooh ooh ♪

George, George, George, George, George, George.

You know, why do you come to sleep here?

You, you can sleep at home.

Well, see, you know, you told me you wanted to do your GED

so I thought I'd come down here and be like, you know

take my GED too, come on, hit me with this

♪ Ease on down it's your birthday ♪

Come on, come on...

Shut up, George. Shut up.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Dave Terry, and I'm the proctor for your exam today.

Please sign your test sheets with your name

and social security number.

Oh, I don't know my social security number

can I just use my lucky lotto number?

George, if you don't shut up--

Okay, folks, you have two hours for section one.

And... begin.

Psst.. Roc.

- Roc. - What?

Are we supposed to like, put like, circle these in

or we supposed to put Xs beside them?

'Cause I don't know if you circle them down

or you start making figures, you know...

- Come on, leave me alone. - Gentlemen.

In the hallway, please.

Man, Bryant Gumbel is straight trip.

What was all that talking back there?

Were you guys cheating?

Oh, no, Mr. Terry, we weren't cheating.

YourHonor, I would like to plead our case

me and my client will simply confirm because if you

watch the video-tape we were nowhere there in the vicinity--

George, George, George, George, George.

Um, Mr. Terry, we weren't cheating.

Unfortunately, George is my neighbor.

And he was askin' me about you know

how to fill in the bubbles, and you know...

Why should Ibelieve you?

Oh, you don't think I'll be cheating

off a guy like him, do you?

- Six, six. - What?

Six, that's my social security number, six.

Uh, ne-ne need I say more?

Tell you what?

I'm gonna give you guys another chance.

Go in and take your test.

Man, does William Scott still get on your nerves, you know...

Roc, you know, the answer for your middle name

on the test, you know, I was thinking

I would go with something like Malik.

Yeah.

Yeah, go for it, George. That's a good name, go for it.

Uh, how do you spell that?

Huh, Malik. Ma-Lik

I think that's uh, A-S-S.

You know, that don't look right.

- Hey, Joey. - Yeah?

- The mail come in yet? - Yes, it has.

- Did my test scores come in? - Yes, they did.

- Where'd you put 'em? - Well...

That information's gonna cost you five dollars.

Joey, I'll break--

Hey, hey, hey, Roc. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, isn't it worth five dollars to find out that you passed?

Don't play with me.

- What? - You passed.

- I passed? - You passed.

- I passed? - You passed that.

You passed.

Eleanor. Eleanor.

Eleanor.

- I passed. - Ah! Congratulations, baby.

I knew you can do it.

Hey, hey, and I did pretty good too, look.

- An 81. - Ha-ha-ha.

That ain't nothin'. I got an 89, check it out!

Well, let me see that.

George, that's a 68.