Original subtitles

I-I'm gonna tell 'em to put you out of the house.

- Hey, look-- - Okay, oh, oh.

Oh, hi! I'm Charles S. Dutton.

Welcome to our second live episode of "Roc."

For those of you who missed last week's

it went pretty well.

But...

...there was something that bothered me, see?

Me and the other cast members, we have this bet going on.

Who mess up the most lines?

Well, there was only one line flopped.

And I did it.

Fifty bucks gone like that.

That was more than six trips to Supercuts.

You know, but this year of betting on actors messing up

is not only for us on this show.

I mean, you can play this at home.

I mean, just pick the actor who looks the sleepiest.

Put your money down, and you can clean grandma

out of her whole social security check.

I mean, you know, well, look, look

good luck, have fun.

Happy birthday, Mrs. Hoi.

"Roc," it's more than television.

It's off-track betting.

♪ Them that's got shall have ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ So the Bible says ♪

♪ And it still is news ♪

♪ Mama may have ♪

♪ Papa may have but ♪

♪ God bless the child ♪

♪ That's got his own ♪

♪ That's got his own ♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ God bless the child ♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

- Hey, Roc. - Hey, pop, where you been?

Well, here and there.

Searching the back alleys of Baltimore

lookin' for the remains of my dead son

who you drove from the safety of this house.

Nowhere special.

Now, pop, why do you have to say that?

You know, I feel bad enough as it is.

Oh, I was just goofin' on you, son.

- I'm sure he's fine. - Yeah, well, I hope so.

You know, it's been a week since we heard from him.

Oh, you know how Joey is.

He never calls unless he's in trouble.

Not hearing from him means he's alright.

Yeah, I guess so.

Or decomposing.

- 'Hey, sweetheart!' - 'Eleanor.'

Uh-huh.

- What? Is something wrong? - Wrong? No.

It's every woman's dream to walk ten blocks

carryin' two heavy bags of groceries

'cause her husband refuses to buy a car.

Now, Eleanor, we've been through this now.

- We're not getting a car. - We're not getting a car.

- We can't afford it. - We can't afford it.

- We're saving up for a house. - We're saving up for a house.

You're just inches away from throwing me out too, aren't you?

Look, Roc, I know that we savin' up for a house

but there are actually some people

who have a car and a house.

That's why they build 'em with those big doors in front

that go up and down.

You don't have to be sarcastic.

Why don't you throw her out, Roc?

Hey, everybody. Look, it's Joey.

- 'Oh.' - Hey.

- 'Joey!' - Boy, my boy.

- 'How you doin'?' - Oh, where have you been?

- We've been worried sick, boy. - Hey, well, you know me.

- I always land on my feet. - Hey, hey, Joey.

Hey, Roc.

Uh, sis, I brought you a little somethin'.

Oh, your laundry. Thank you.

I'll just go put these in some water.

Thanks, sis. Boy, I sure missed her, boy.

Uh, you must be hungry.

Can I get you something to eat, son?

- Uh, sure, pop. - Alright.

Well, look, a-about some of the things I said I was--

Uh, yeah. Yeah, Roc, me too.

You know, I just did what I did 'cause I thought

it would be good for you, you know?

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I mean, in your own sick, pig-headed

bullyin' way you thought you were...

...you thought you were doing the right thing.

Well, I guess I had that comin'.

- Hey, man, I missed you, man. - I missed you too.

How you doing, Joey?

Man, you looking good.

So, uh, must be pretty dead around here without me, huh?

Yeah, well, you know, you bring excitement wherever you go.

Yeah, so wh-where you staying anyway?

Homeless shelter. Hey, uh, pop.

That food ready yet?

♪ Keep on walking on ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa ♪

The dumbest thing at that convention was Quayle's speech.

- What a moron! - I don't know.

He seemed like a regular guy to me.

He said he shared, uh, shared a room with his brother

and walked a-a mile to school every mornin'.

Oh, yeah. When did Quayle ever walk to school?

No, no, no. When did Dan Quayle ever go to school?

Look out. Chair coming through.

Hey, Roc, uh, is this the kind of thing you're looking for?

Hey, that's fine. It's exactly what I wanted.

Uh, you know, Roc

just because someone throws something out

it don't mean it automatically becomes a perk.

Some garbage... really is.

Well, this particular perk ain't for me.

It's for Joey. Hey, he called this mornin'.

He finally found himself an apartment.

- Good for him. - Hey, that's great.

That's great. Where's he been staying till now?

Well, you know, around. You know, here and there.

- Like where? - I don't know.

Well, come on, Roc. Where?

Homeless shelter.

What did he say? Animal shelter?

Wh-what was he doing living in a animal shelter?

What's the difference where he's been living, huh?

He's got a new place and tomorrow night

we're all going over to throw him a house-warming party.

You know, make him feel good about the dump he's living in.

I mean, what do you care about how he feels?

He's out of your hair. Uh, so to speak.

Yeah, yeah, alright, yeah. Well, look.

The whole point is to make him take responsibility.

If we can get him to likes the place, he'll wanna keep it.

And the only way he can do that is to get a job.

Uh, okay, Roc. Whatever you say.

- I'll see you later, man. - Yeah, alright.

Yeah, I'm gonna take off too.

Alright, Roc, I, uh, guess you want a lift with the chair.

Oh, yeah, sure, but if you only promise

that you won't bug me about gettin' my own car.

I mean, I get enough of that from Eleanor.

Okay, forget it.

Hey, sis. Hey, pop.

Come in, please.

So, uh, what do you think?

Well, to be honest, we were expecting

something a little more...

- More-- - Rat holey.

Here, I bought you a little house-warming gift.

Oh, thank you, pop.

Malcolm X.

Um, pop, I appreciate the thought but, uh...

...I don't think it goes with the decor.

Oh, nonsense. Black goes with everything.

Here, Joey, I-I bought you some dinner.

Oh, well, thank you. I'll just go pop this in the microwave.

Um, make yourselves at home.

How on earth he get a place like this?

Oh, maybe it's better we don't know.

It could make us accessories.

Now, this cushion doesn't look too good but, uh...

This isn't a dump!

Well, it wasn't until you brought that chair in here.

Well, you know, I-I didn't... E-Ernie wanted you to have this.

Oh, okay.

How in the hell are you paying for this place?

I'm not, Roc, I got this musician buddy

named Kenny Seals, he got a three month gig out of town

so he asked me to house sit for him.

- Oh, that's great, Joey. - That's good, son.

Oh, house sit, so you just hang around here

and you don't have to do anything?

- Oh, Roc. - Well, well, yeah.

AHow you like me now?

So, uh, you folks want something before dinner?

Uh, some Perrier? Some juice?

- Uh, some cappuccinos? - Uh, j-just some water.

You know, some good old, American, ordinary, tap water.

- I'd like some Perrier, please. - Me too.

Well, since when do you guys started drinking Perrier?

You're right, Roc, it might go to our heads

and then we'll start puttin' on airs.

Alright, that's two Perriers

and one au de tap, comin' up.

I mean, can you believe this?

I put myself through hell the past week just to motivate him

to get a job. Now, he doesn't have to.

You did the best you could do, Roc.

At least, this way, you know he's safe.

'Uh, could one of you get that, please?'

Oh, sure, Joey. Anything to make your life easier.

I'll get it.

Hello. Uh-huh.

Okay, I'll tell him.

Joey...

...uh, the doorman.

Your Mercedes is back from the car wash.

Mercedes? He's got a Mercedes?

Yeah, buddy, that's the best part of this whole set-up.

Oh, a Mercedes.

That's a car, isn't it?

Don't start it, Eleanor.

Ah, dinner is served. Table for four. This way, please.

Roc, I'm just trying to point out that we're the only people

in Baltimore who don't have a car.

Well, the bus is like your personal limo, isn't it?

I'm not laughing, Roc.

'I don't ask for much.'

Joey, what say you and me go eat in the Mercedes?

♪ Whoa whoa whoa ♪

I'm saying, you don't have to be rich to have a car.

All I'm trying to say is even Joey

who was in a homeless shelter yesterday

is now driving a Mercedes

and we're still worryin' about exact change.

Well, that's better than worrying about

car payments we can't make.

Roc! Urgh!

This man gonna drive me crazy.

Come on, Joey, come fold up your laundry

and get it out of here.

Well, I-I just served you dinner though.

And I cooked it.

Alright, that's a good point.

- Son, you alright? - Oh, pop.

Doesn't she realize I'd love to buy her a car?

You know, it just isn't fair.

You know, I work my butt off all my life

and I've got nothing.

Joey doesn't lift a finger and he's got everything.

A condo, car, everything--

Oh, you got somethin' much more important.

You got strength, and character, and drive.

All Joey's got is...

...God watching out for him.

Yeah, well, doesn't God know he's a bum?

Son, even the Lord

likes to have a good time now and then.

I'm going to bed.

Alright, pop.

- Roc. - Oh!

Now, we gotta talk.

Obviously, there's a problem here.

There's a lot more to this than the price of a car.

No, it's this simple. Cars cost money.

- And we don't have it. - How can you say that?

We both have jobs. We got a little money in the bank.

Well, maybe today, but what if something happens, huh?

What if I lose my job? What if I get hit by a truck?

Then I'm back to where I started, with nothin'.

Roc, you talking about like 12 years ago.

I didn't have a lot back in those days either.

That was then. This is now. We doing alright.

Eleanor, we're not getting a car. End of discussion.

What you mean end of discussion?

You can't end the discussion.

We are talking about our money.

- Half of which is mine. - Eleanor, I've made up my mind.

Oh, yeah? Well, I done made up my mind too, Roc.

And tomorrow, I'm going down to the bank

and I'm taking my half of the money

and I'm buying myself a car.

End of discussion.

So, Roc, I hear you buying a car.

More "Roc" live after these messages.

♪ Whoa whoa whoa ♪

Hey, Joey, you know, I really appreciate

you inviting me over to use the sauna.

- It's really been a tense day. - Yeah, I know, Roc, I know.

So, uh, you think Eleanor's really gonna go out

and get that car on her own?

I don't know. I don't even wanna think about it.

I just wanna kick back and relax.

Alright, cool. Hey, uh, wanna have a glass of wine?

- Yeah, sure. Sounds good. - Alright, there.

Here you go.

Well, Roc, these are some serious grapes, man.

This is Chateau Lafite Rothschild

1989.

Yeah, buddy, that's a long way from Thunder Bird.

Um, sorry, I didn't mean to bring up cars again.

That's okay, I gotta tell you, you know

I was lil' bugged at first that you lucked into this place.

- But I guess it's for the best. - How's that, Roc?

Well, you know, now that you're spongin' off someone else...

...I don't have to grind my teeth anymore.

Well, gee, Roc, Hallmark couldn't have said it better.

In your face.

- You know, Joey. - Yeah.

This is livin'.

Yeah, Roc, you know...

...it's pretty ironic, you know.

I got no money, I got no credit.

And I'm living life like a rock star. It just blows my mind.

Yeah, well, I could be living like this...

...if I had God on my side.

- Um, how's that? - Oh, you know, come on, Joey.

You know, you've always been lucky.

Oh, Roc, it ain't luck. It's attitude.

See, I expect pleasure out of life so I get it.

- You don't, so you don't. - Oh, come on.

No, no. I-I'm serious, Roc. See, you don't enjoy anything.

When was the last time you looked at a sunset?

When was the last time you stopped to smell a flower?

Joey, in my line of work, I don't stop to smell anything.

That's what I mean, Roc, see, remember when we're kids

you worked two paper routes so you could save enough money

to buy that 10-speed bike you always wanted.

Well, by the time you finally saved up all the money

it was what? Next summer. The bike was too small for you.

You ended up giving it to me. You remember that?

Yeah, I was mad as hell about that.

'And you should've been, Roc, I mean'

you worked for it, I enjoyed it.

Now, if a man, if a man works for something

doesn't he have a right to enjoy what it is he's working for?

Yeah, sure, of course, then what the hell is he working for?

Right, Roc. What the hell is he working for?

Well, damned if I know.

Hoo-haa!

And how did Mr. Emerson

enjoy test drive number seven?

He's still on it. I gave up after number six.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Normally, I go on all the test drives with my customers

but I had to get on with my life.

Look, I'm gonna level with you.

Now, I really want to buy this car

but my husband is a different story.

So, you and I got to work together.

Anything I can do.

What was his mood last time you saw him?

It was hard to tell. He was kinda muttering a lot.

- Muttering? Hmm. - Is that bad?

Well, it's not as good as grumbling

but better than stammering.

Come to think of it, he was hissing.

Hissin'?

Oh, he only hisses when he's workin'.

It means he's gonna buy the car

or empty the ashtray.

Well, let's hope for the best. Can I, uh, get you some coffee?

Yes, please. Thank you.

Oh, oh!

Lord, Lord.

I don't know what you made Joey say to Roc.

But whatever it was, Lord...

...way to go.

Now, getting Roc in here was just the first step.

Lord, I know there's a lot bigger problems

going on in the world besides my gettin' a car.

But I'm not asking for a miracle.

Just a hatchback.

So, Lord, if you do this for me...

How did it go, Roc?

Well, you know, it's a good car. You know, I don't know.

I mean, if you really, you know, really, really

really want it, uh...

...I guess this one is one we could buy.

Oh, Roc, baby.

Thank you, sweetie.

Oh, Roc, I know I put a lot of pressure on you.

And I really appreciate you doing this for me.

- Oh, so what have we decided? - We're gonna buy the car.

- Yeah, fine, huh? - Great.

Now, the sticker price is 12,100.

- Okay, Eleanor, let's go. - Well, hold up now.

I can knock off $1000 off the top.

- Eleven hundred, how's that? - Okay.

I'm not gonna play negotiating games with you.

I'm gonna tell what I can pay

and I'm not budging from that figure.

- What's the figure? - Ten-three.

- Deal. No, no, no. - How about ten-one?

- Can't change in the middle. - Oh, damn.

Let me tell you about our option package.

No, no, options.

You must want air conditioning.

- The car will be like an oven. - Already got an oven,

I'll put wheels on it, we don't need a car, let's go, Eleanor.

Oh, come on, Roc.

Alright, you sayin' you want air conditioning?

Well, I have kind of gotten used to it on the bus.

Okay, Eleanor. We'll take air conditioning.

Thank you, honey. Oh, look, Roc.

We could get AM/FM stereo cassette

with concert sound speakers.

- No, forget it. - You're right. Who needs music?

This way on those long Sunday drives we can just talk...

...about our relationship.

We'll take that stereo and that's it.

Okay, baby. Oh, thank you. Sign it.

Right there.

Sign it, Roc.

- Oh. - Well, I did it.

Oh! Yes, you did, baby. Thank you.

Well, you know me. All you gotta do is ask.

"Roc" will return live in a moment.

Roc, honey. What're you doing up? It's 6:00 a.m.

Oh, I'm just looking at the car, Eleanor.

Ah, she sure is fine, isn't she?

She sure is.

Look at those clean lines.

That sleek body.

Those magnificent headlights.

You know, Roc, you used to talk about me like that.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I'm just really glad you pushed me into this.

Oh, you know what, Roc?

This time is my favorite time of the day.

City is just comin' alive. The sun's comin' up.

- Birds are startin' to sing. - Yeah.

- And here's one now. - Oh.

What's he doin'?

Hey, hey, you pigeon, get away from my car!

♪ Yeah keep on walking on ♪

♪ Oh lord ♪

♪ Oh yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah well well well ♪

♪ Ooh good God now ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Keep on walking on ♪

♪ Oh good God now ♪

♪ Whoa whoa ♪

♪ Keep on walking on ♪

♪ Oh good God now ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa ♪

♪ Keep on walking on ♪

♪ Oh yeah walk on yeah ♪