Original subtitles

Horsemen! Horsemen!

Horsemen! Horsemen! Horsemen!

Horsemen! Horsemen! Horsemen! Horsemen!

ATLAS: Did you think we abandoned you?

Or that we'd run out of magic?

Well, think again, ladies and gentlemen,

because you are about to be amazed.

If you're here right now, then you have

followed the clues and cracked the code.

Congratulations, and welcome.

It's been 10 years since the horseman last appeared,

but we are back!

Okay, so, come in close. Mm, closer.

Because the more you think you see,

the easier it will be to dress up old tricks

and fool you that they are new.

So, my name is J. Daniel Atlas,

and allow me to speak as I often do

for my less charismatic colleagues when I say...

Whoo! It is very good to be back!

Yes. Yes. We vanished for a while,

but in the world of magic,

everything that disappears, reappears.

Well, at least if the trick is done right.

I'm Merritt McKinney.

Unlike my, uh, very good buddy here, Danny,

most of you checked your egos at the door tonight.

You found this little underground soiree

because you wanted to get fooled.

Hey, everyone. I'm Jack Wilder.

Wars, pandemics, climate change, AI.

Let's face it, we all need magic more than ever.

So I want you to pay very close attention.

You are not gonna want to miss this next trick.

Henley Reeves, now Henley Reeves Stanley.

Three kids, two dogs and a master's degree.

It's been a while.

Did you miss us?

Those guys were great back in the day.

I used to want to be a magician.

And then I turned 12.

Careful, they might be listening.

Ooh, I'm shaking in my AllSaints.

What are they gonna do?

Is that real gold?

-What? -Is that real gold?

Yeah, I'm rich.

This is a magic show, dude.

Every fool here is a pickpocket,

or a pickpocket's fool.

-Was that a haiku? -What was that?

Each of you just received a playing card.

If you wouldn't mind, uh, pulling it out?

Right. Now, we're gonna shuffle the deck,

so everybody find a random person near them

and switch cards with them.

And then when you've done that,

find somebody else and switch with them.

Okay, great. Uh, now...

Uh, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh... You there, down there.

-Me? -Yeah. What is your card?

-Ace of diamonds. -Ace of diamonds. Okay.

Let's make things a little more complicated here.

Does anybody else here have the ace of diamonds?

Wait, it's me. Ace of diamonds!

Ooh!

Looks like we have a Fifth Horseman not named Lula.

Come up on stage, you're gonna be our helper.

-Do it! -Yeah, go!

Now, uh, look into my eyes

and... sleep.

Still got it.

Now, this might look like an ordinary kid to you,

but tonight, he is going to do extraordinary magic

like a man possessed.

Literally.

-Henley. -Yes, Merritt.

Would you mind stepping inside his body?

Yep. And, Jack, uh, why don't you throw yourself on in there, too?

What I do best.

And... Oh, God help you.

Atlas, why don't you slither on inside, as well?

And I might as well wedge myself in there, too.

It takes a village to make magic.

-Oh! -Whoa!

J. Daniel Atlas in the house.

So, who wants to see a magic trick?

Take it away, Merritt.

Hello, you beautiful people.

Now, everyone knows that Merritt McKinney reads minds.

Well, now, I'm him. Or he's me. Who knows?

Uh, I'm sensing someone came here tonight

not to enjoy magic, but to tear it down.

Is there a Brett Finnegan in the house?

What up?

Now, you and your friends here

set up the Camp Hobart Crypto Exchange.

-Fact. Yep. Yeah. -It's what we're about.

Took the good people of New York's

employee pension and welfare fund half its cash.

Uh, you're rounding up,

and also, the risks were laid out very clearly.

Everybody knew what they were getting into, dude.

Did you hide the profits offshore?

Account ending in 53297?

You couldn't know that without my, uh...

Oh, is this real gold?

Brett, you ought to be more careful with your things, man.

Merritt's a psychic, but me, Jack,

I'm into sleight of hand.

Ask your friends. They've just done their part to close the wealth gap.

What? What the...

Now, here's a little redistribution.

Hey! Hey, hey!

Thank you. Thank you.

Lawyer up, dude! I'll kick your ass!

Uh-oh!

Someone forgot Henley can fly.

We can take it from here, but a round of applause

for the best Horseman on stage.

Whoo! Wow.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.

Fantastic. So, everybody, I want you to take your drink,

and I want you to pour it onto the face of your card.

Can you do that?

Those 12 unique words on each of your cards

-form the password to your new crypto wallet. -Oh!

Log on and you'll find Brett's stolen millions more...

fairly redistributed.

Oh, my God. Fifty... 50,000 bucks!

50,000!

You're freaking done, dude!

Whoa, whoa! Cool your head, gingerbread,

because I am having a vision.

Eh, maybe cops are gonna come bursting through that door!

So perform a magic trick of your own

and disappear in three, two, one.

Now come in close. Mm, closer.

Because the more you think you see, the easier it will be

-to dress up old tricks... -What?

...and fool you that they are new.

Oh, my God, no.

No!

No!

Look, in my opinion, I think you did a great job.

Uh, I think my Atlas was good.

My Merritt could probably use some work.

-Mm. -It's like a San Diego stoner

and a shrimp boat captain had a baby.

Sure.

No, seriously, Bosco, I don't know how you do it.

A good impersonation isn't just about the mimicry.

It's about attention to detail,

personality and nuance.

Okay. Okay. Let me try, let me try.

Um... I'm J. Daniel Atlas.

The closer you look, the less you see.

It was something.

Yep. Uh, you'll work on it.

-I wasn't bad. -It was a good start.

-But it could use some work. -Okay, sure.

-What do you keep looking at? -Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Dude, cheer up. Guys, come on! Look at us!

Look at how far we've come. We totally scored tonight.

All right, next time, you wear the pink wig, okay?

No.

-Dude, it's locked again. -Okay, I'll pick it.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Do the thing.

-No. -Please do the thing.

-It's so unnecessary. -It's so cool.

-I'll hold your bag. -It's so unnecessary.

-Come on, it's fun. -Okay.

You got this.

-She's like a little Mario. -She is like Mario.

-Careful, careful. -Please don't die.

-Are you okay? -Yeah.

If I could do that, I would only do that.

-It's so cool. -It's insane.

Happy?

-Yeah, that was awesome. -Yeah.

Please let us in. It's cold.

Whoo.

Best apartment in the whole city.

Yep, and no one will ever see it but us.

♪ Everybody... ♪

It's such a shame.

♪ But in my armor I am a man... ♪

Come in close.

Closer.

That guy is so screwed.

Who's rich now?

Charlie, can you turn that thing off, please?

I think I've had enough Atlas for one night.

Yeah, I got you.

...disappears, reappears.

At least if the trick is done right.

Bosco, can you check for pizza? I'm so hungry.

Ugh, me, too.

...Four Horsemen!

No pizza, but we got beer.

-And, no, literally just beer. -Closer. Because

-the more you think you see... -Any takers?

Yeah, I'll have one.

Dude, seriously, turn that thing off.

I did.

Okay. Real funny, guys. Where's the other projector?

I'm not a hologram.

"I'm not a hologram." Right. Yes.

Exactly what a hologram would say.

-Oh, my God, you're real. -Never touch my face again.

I'm so sorry. I thought that you were a hologram.

I would never do that. I'm a huge fan of yours.

How are you?

How did you find us?

I don't know. Took me about 30 seconds.

And if it was this easy for me to find you,

how hard would it be for the police?

-Whoa, hold on, the police? -Yeah, the police.

Why would the police be looking for us?

Uh, I don't know, what about that

little heist you just pulled?

Or the fact that you're squatting in this place

or that your electricity comes from

the circuit box in the corner?

I don't know, it could be anything. Am I right, Bozo?

Bosco.

-Hmm. -Bosco Leroy.

Ah, that's right, yeah, Bosco Leroy.

What, did you type, uh, "fictional magician name" into ChatGPT?

-No, that's actually my real name, Atlas. -Hmm.

What, did your mom have sex with a map?

-That's not funny. -Hmm.

You don't know anything about us, dude.

-I know everything about you. -Oh.

The dubiously named Bosco Leroy,

a promising acting career

cut short by crippling student loans.

It's a bummer you had to drop out of Juilliard,

but you never stopped performing.

Uh, if memory serves, your last paid gig,

I think, was dressing as Elmo in Times Square?

Okay, first of all, I was never Elmo.

It's the red Teletubby.

Po!

-What? -The red Teletubby.

-Her name is Po. -Oh, Po!

She's my favorite one.

Right?

-Her name is Po. -Cute.

And you, June Rouclere.

Kicked out of every boarding school

your parents forced you to attend.

Not a big fan of authority, I take it.

Uh, let me guess.

Uh, you think the "olds" broke the planet

and it's your generation's duty to clean up their mess.

-Am I right? -Am I wrong?

No.

And so, you ran away from home,

made your way to New York, where you ran into this guy

at Tannin's Magic Shop, Charlie Gayes.

-Yeah, hi. -Yeah, hi.

I actually couldn't find a lot about you online.

Although, I do know you were an orphan

and you were in and out of foster care your entire childhood,

and that you didn't know the meaning of family

until you hooked up with these two.

And so, the three of you have been working

your little Robin Hood act for years now,

trying to change the world one trick at a time,

all leading to your riskiest theft to date, my identity.

You were there?

You had our faces plastered

on every scaffolding and subway stop in the city.

That's copyright infringement, by the way.

Of course, I was there.

So, what'd you think?

-I think your Merritt needs work. -I knew it.

-That's a sensitive topic. -No.

-You don't even get it. -He's lying.

But overall design was impressive.

That's you, I assume, the quiet guy?

-Textbook, behind the scenes. -Yeah, well,

-Alexander Herrmann... -Oh, boy.

...he said that the people who designed his tricks were the real geniuses.

The fact that you know that man's name,

"behind the scenes" clearly.

And you, your sleight of hand was advanced. Good dexterity.

You're quick and nimble on your feet. Really, I was impressed.

-Thanks. -You're welcome.

Sounds like we're pretty great.

You're far from it.

But, uh, maybe with a little fine tuning, you could be.

Yeah, I could... I could see why The Eye sent me to you.

-I'm sorry. -Wait, did you say "The Eye"?

Yeah, The Eye.

All right, listen.

This card arrived at my apartment three weeks ago,

along with four plane tickets

and instructions hidden in the lining

for a trick bigger and better

than anything you have ever seen.

A trick that, for some reason, includes the three of you.

-Us? -Mm-hmm.

-Why not the other Horsemen? -No,

-the other horsemen are dead. -What?

To me, they're dead to me. Stop interrupting.

No, things got emotional. Everyone quit.

I took a walkabout in Australia. It's a long story.

And now you need us?

According to that card, yes.

Well, we don't need you, so...

Bosco.

What? What do we need this guy for? We're crushing it.

You're crushing it? You're stealing

a little money from some crypto bro.

I'm talking about big fish here, man.

I'm talking about something that will

make a real difference.

I thought that's what you kids are all about.

It is. No, exactly.

Yes, we are.

Yeah, but I think we can catch our own fish.

-You can? -No, no, he...

-Good luck with that. -What? No.

Can you just wait one second?

What are you doing? What's... what's going on? Are you out of your mind?

-This is J. Daniel Atlas. -Yeah, I know who he is.

He's a freaking legend.

He was a legend. Now he's just kind of a .

-Can you... -Yeah, sure.

Bosco, he's kind of a , but he is a Horseman.

I mean, come on, just trust us on this, please.

Okay. Decision time, kids. What's it gonna be?

Are you in...

...or are you out?

What's the trick?

Welcome, esteemed community members,

valued press, friends and colleagues.

We are gathered here tonight to celebrate

Vanderberg's latest and greatest mine,

C3, or as we like to call her,

"Amahle," Zulu for "The Beautiful One."

Because every child is beautiful

in the eyes of its mother.

Our customer can rest assured

that when they buy the world's greatest symbol of love

that it was produced with nothing but.

To Amahle, and to all of you.

Well, thank you all so much for making the trip out here.

Now, I take it you were all impressed by Amahle.

Sorry, C3.

-Oh, it's quite dramatic. -Yeah, it's amazing.

But I also understand that you have chosen this fine day to broach some concerns,

which, contrary to your expectations, I don't begrudge.

Fire away.

Right. Well, um, the board feels that

projections might be optimistic...

Mm.

...with increasing competition from lab grown

and, in the event borrowing rates plum...

William. William.

My father loved you, but there was

a reason he called you his dark cloud.

Aw, shame.

The Vanderberg family does not lose.

As you're well aware, our motorsports team just won

the Monaco Championship for the seventh time.

The mine will produce.

Next?

Right.

Pricing. The minimums that you've set for...

Will you humor me, William?

In a demonstration about reality?

This diamond is say, what, 55 carats?

The AWDC would price it at 3,000,000 US dollars.

William, will you open your mouth

and stick out your tongue?

Now.

-Really? -Really.

Now, if William here were to swallow it,

that selfsame diamond would tear his throat to shreds.

He would bleed to death before paramedics arrived.

So, to the AWDC, it's 3,000,000,

but to William, priceless.

Tell me then, as the CEO responsible

for the world's last great diamond mines,

should I undercut our profits,

or should I choose prices

that I know are unique clients will pay?

As I thought.

Now...

...unless there are more concerns,

I would like to head to Antwerp with my price list

and show off our stones.

Oh, uh, you know, you probably could have led with a free trip to Europe?

You know, a little known fact about Antwerp, is that...

Oh, great, more magic trivia. This is fun.

No, I was just gonna say that

they make great biscuits.

Oh, do they? Can we actually get some, please?

-On Atlas, obviously. -No.

No, no, I'm not getting you biscuits.

I just got you chocolates, okay?

All right, listen, this is not a vacation, okay?

We have three days to prepare an effect

that'll make your barely passable Pepper's Ghost trick look like a cave painting.

All right, come here.

The Heart Diamond, the most valuable jewel in history

and the foundation of the Vanderberg Mining Corporation.

Now, for years, the family's kept this big rock

hidden inside their secret vault,

70 stories underground.

And not just any ground. The Arabian Desert.

No one beyond their most trusted team has been inside.

Access through a single elevator,

constantly monitored by armed guards...

Identity verified.

ATLAS: ...and behind a multi-level biometric security system.

But the world will be watching,

because for the first time in half a century,

that diamond is being traveled here

to Antwerp, to establish credibility

and to spur bidding at a private auction

for the company's latest finds in three days' time.

Okay, obviously, I'm down for stealing.

But what makes this diamond so special?

Well, because the magical tarot card told us to, June, right?

Yeah, okay, that's very cute. But can I please finish?

You're not finished? Jeez, you've been talking forever.

Yes, and I'm about to talk more.

So, please, pay attention.

For decades, first, Peter Vanderberg,

now his daughter, Veronika,

have been selling these diamonds at inflated prices

to arms dealers, traffickers, warlords the world over,

to, like, help launder their money.

So, I mean, the cash is dirty.

I mean, in some cases, it's, like, literally blood-soaked.

But then, voila...

...it's cleaned in exchange for these precious stones.

She makes all the world's worst people possible.

So, whoever sent that tarot card...

Are the few truly honorable people left in this world.

The only people that still care about justice.

They're people I haven't spoken to in a long time.

They call themselves "The Eye,"

and they want us to do something

that the Horsemen never could.

This, man,

this is a chance to drive a stake

through the heart of the devil herself.

Let's do it.

All eyes will be on me and the Heart tonight at the auction.

I have to look dazzling.

Do you have that Kitten Kiss color?

Lethabo.

-Yes? -Straw.

Who's that British photographer from Vanity Fair?

Uh, what's his name again? Marc...

Marc Scriber?

-Schreiber, good God. -Schreiber.

Confirm him, cancel the others.

We went wide last year. This year, exclusivity.

-All right. -We're open, transparent.

We have nothing to hide.

Okay, perfect. I'll have it done.

This is Veronika.

♪ Hush little baby ♪

♪ Don't say a word ♪

Who is this?

♪ Papa's gonna buy you a mocking bird ♪

♪ And if that mocking bird ♪

Vacate.

♪ Don't sing ♪

How did you get this number?

♪ Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring ♪

This is a private line, and that was a bit tone deaf.

I asked who you are.

Ah, Veronika.

The storage unit to your left.

Look familiar?

It belonged to that boy who died 15 years ago.

This means nothing to me or anyone.

Really?

You and I both know what you did.

Look, if you have real evidence

and you're out to get me, why not just use it?

Fifteen years ago, you took what your father loved most.

Now I'm going to do the same to you.

-I want the Heart Diamond.

You're going to give it to me.

Or I'm going to hold up a looking glass

for the whole world to see you as you are.

Go ahead. I have nothing to hide.

-Oh, my God. -Hey.

I'm so sorry about that.

Hi. Can you help me find this?

I've been looking literally for an hour.

Yes. It's gonna be right over there, ma'am.

Marc Schreiber, James Winn, Vanderberg PR.

Huge admirer of your work.

James? What happened to Dani?

Oh, Dani. Yeah, sadly, we had to let her go.

Turns out she was racist.

And also, she booked you into the Radisson Blu

-in a partial view, double. -Ugh.

Thankfully, I took the liberty of moving you to the FRANQ.

I do love the FRANQ.

Yes, the presidential suite is befitting of, well,

presidents and talented photographers like yourself.

Uh, your gala invitation has been rerouted.

If I could just check your confirmation?

Thank you.

I also bumped your shoot from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m.

to give you proper time to make your magic.

-Someone gets it. -Yeah.

♪ I'm shinin' like a supernova ♪

♪ With my hands up high And my heart wide open... ♪

♪ I shine even more bright Like a diamond ♪

♪ Brush that fear right off my shoulder... ♪

Take, for instance, diamonds created in laboratories.

They purport to have value,

but they're neither natural nor rare.

What honest woman wants a falsehood on her finger?

I agree.

One of the great truths left

is the power behind a natural gem.

Real diamonds fill people with passion,

as they have for centuries.

That's right. In fact, Marie-Antoinette,

wore the Hope Diamond for a single day,

and a month later...

...was dragged to the guillotine

by some very, well, as you say, passionate folks.

But Marie-Antoinette didn't die because of a diamond.

She died because of a monstrous lack of empathy.

Well...

And truth is, she never even wore the Hope.

People just believe she did.

Really? That's kind of interesting.

So it was not the mob that killed her,

and it was not the guillotine,

it was a... a story.

I must not know my own guest list.

Are you in the diamond business?

No, no, I'm in the illusion business, like you.

See, for centuries, diamonds were worthless

until some very smart, very rich people

like Veronika here, told us that, not only

are these little shards of glass rare,

but that no self-respecting couple

could possibly get married without one.

No, now, that one is a good magic trick.

The problem with the trick is, um...

All the good ones have a little twist in the tale.

Is it you?

Is what me?

-Of course not. -No, no.

I mean, you wouldn't have let me in had I not demonstrated

the finest moral fiber, like some of your other guests.

I notice Luis Briseno, the arms dealer over there.

Hello, sir.

And of course, Maria Bortnick, when starstruck,

how she manages to mingle while monopolizing her state media.

Perhaps you'd care to reveal yourself.

Then we can apply the same scrutiny to you.

Hmm.

Not just yet.

I'm sorry for interrupting.

That won't be necessary.

Let him eat cake.

Marc Schreiber.

Veronika Vanderberg.

Let's make this quick, shall we?

Our auction begins shortly.

I trust you can do me and the Heart justice.

Yes. I only have one rule. What I say goes.

Well, I'm sure I can find my submissive side.

Well, if not, I'll find it for you.

Ooh. I like you.

Right this way, darling.

-I don't want to be too matte. -Sure. Sure, sure.

And I don't like the sides of my nose shining.

Okay.

-Show me. -Mm-hmm.

Excuse me, can the little fruit fly

in my shot please shoo, shoo, shoo.

Thank you.

The only thing more valuable than that diamond is my time.

I did my research on you.

Your industry, like mine,

is besieged by manufacturer lore.

But you, you bring us beauty as it is.

We're alike in that regard.

We don't sell contrivance, we sell reality.

Well, I would argue that we don't sell at all.

Others buy.

Hmm.

Let's see...

Uh... The diamond, take it out.

Nah, boy.

Absolutely not.

The glare in the glass will mar the photos.

I don't tolerate imperfections.

I don't imagine someone as ravishing

as Ms. Vanderberg does either.

So, take it out or find yourself a new photographer.

In truth, I was hoping you'd ask.

I don't remember asking.

There it is.

Beautiful. Work it. Fabulous.

Fabulous. Fabulous.

Beautiful.

Yes. Smiling, we're having fun.

This is what we came for.

Hold it, hold it.

That's the money shot.

Hold it.

And you, ma'am, are far enough.

I'm just trying... I'm trying to help.

-Her forehead is shinier than the diamond. -When it comes to the Heart...

Actually, I'm doing my job.

-I don't take orders from you. -When it comes to the Heart,

-you listen to me. Get out. -I... I can walk myself.

-Thank you. -Right.

Mr. Schreiber.

If you're all you purport to be,

you should already have what you need.

-More than enough. Thank you. -Excellent.

Well, it's been a pleasure, but I have buyers waiting.

I've had enough of this of this nonsense.

Make sure it's secured.

Yes, Lethabo.

-What the hell, what happened? -I don't know. I don't know.

Time's ticking. Let's go.

At last, the auction we've all been waiting for.

Now, if you're here tonight,

you probably think you've seen everything.

So it is to you that I ask...

Everything?

It's not been seen in person for a quarter of a century.

Still the largest diamond ever discovered, the Heart.

Congratulations to all of you

and for getting away with it for so long.

Well, guess what?

Climate change

doesn't believe in you, either.

You tore your fortunes from our Mother Earth,

set fire to her skies in your private jets...

-Okay, she gets it. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bled her dry with your insatiable...

Young man, we all want to save the world here,

but time is also precious and you're wasting mine.

Zip it, sparkles.

Why don't you stop sucking

on plastic straws, and suck on this!

Honored guests. My name is J. Daniel Atlas.

You may remember me as your personal favorite

of the Four Horsemen of magic.

Now watch closely as I make the famous Heart Diamond appear on my palm.

Gee-whiz, he must be as starved

for attention as Greenpeace here.

Rest assured that the diamond is completely safe.

Is it?

Now, a wise man once told me, in the mirror, in fact,

uh, never assume you're the smartest person in the room, prove it.

Be my guest.

All right, well, let's see if we can get that case open.

Uh... Abracadabra.

Huh. Nope. Uh... Alakazam.

Wait.

Open sesame.

Ah.

Still safe with me.

No. Relax. Mm, relax, Veronika.

Now, as your ads like to remind us,

diamonds are forever.

-Get her to safety. Now! -You stop him! Stop him!

Stop him!

-Jack. -Hey.

-What are you doing here? -Saving your ass.

-Ah. -You're welcome.

You got one, too. Huh.

-Hi. I'm June. -Yeah.

-Who's she? -Sorry, she's with us.

Where is the diamond?

What?

I guess you guys don't care about the environment.

You're stronger than you look.

Hey!

Hey, hey. Hey!

Stop! Don't let them get away!

Okay, what now?

My card just said to get you out of there. I don't know.

Henley Reeves?

I have so many posters of you.

-You're my childhood... -All right, fanboy later.

But it does, uh... You know, it is really nice to see you.

Fanboy later. We got to go up.

Put your hands up and don't move!

This is some bullshit.

What is happening?

Beethoven's Concerto in D major.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!

Whoa. Merritt? What... What the hell was that?

Atlas, I would like to see you hypnotize three dudes in Belgian.

You mean Flemish.

Okay, that explains it.

Lovely reunion. We have to go.

Henley Reeves!

-Welcome back! -Thanks.

And may I say, you are...

-Okay, come on, let's go! -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

I was paying her a compliment

because it was nice to see her, and only her.

-I was... -We get it!

Up there.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Is that for us?

Do you see any other people trying to escape?

Come on, come on. Go, go!

Come on, come on.

Uh, it was in my hand

the whole time. It never...

They didn't swap the diamond.

They swapped the case.

And you, ma'am, are far enough.

Why don't you stop sucking on plastic straws, and suck on this!

Honored guests...

Open sesame.

Still safe with me.

Diamonds are forever.

-Lethabo. -Yes, ma'am?

We're going to make them regret this.

And then some.

Marc Schreiber, Vanity Fair.

What did I miss?

You know, I thought it'd be shinier.

Okay. All right, give it back.

-Thank... What are you doing? -Oh. Sorry. It's so slippery.

-Hey. Hey. -Heads up.

Okay, don't do that again.

Hey, can I address the, uh, infant in the room?

Uh... Who are these guys?

These are the wonderful kids that deepfaked our show.

-What? -Yeah.

You had the cops sent to my house?

You freaked out my kids.

-Yeah, sorry. Sorry about that. -Sorry about that.

How are the kids, though?

How is the whole boring suburban life you left us for?

-Hey, relax, man. You missed your shot. -Hmm.

You see the size of that rock?

No, let me see that.

Ooh, it's no Heart diamond, but it's impressive.

I already told you, Danny. I didn't feel safe

trying to escape from a straitjacket hanging upside down.

I was six months pregnant.

Come on, we would have flipped you right side up at the end.

You'd have been fine.

-Come on. -You guys didn't even miss me.

How long did it take you to replace me? An afternoon?

Um, and the better part of an evening.

Hey, speaking of, how is Lula?

-Are you guys still, uh... -No.

She, uh... she moved to Paris.

Oh, no. She dumped the great J. Wilder. My God.

I'm sorry. My apologies.

Don't you need to be on some, like,

cruise ship somewhere humiliating yourself?

-Humiliating myself? -Yeah.

I make five figures per cruise, plus perks.

"Plus perks." He said, "plus perks."

And I thought Merritt drinking himself

to death in Mexico was depressing. Ooh.

Speaking of, I got to get back to it.

This liver's not gonna destroy itself.

Uh, can we dry dock this thing?

Wait, wait, wait. You're leaving?

Well, yeah, I mean, great catching up.

Um, I don't know, what, see you in another ten?

Nice to meet you, little tadpoles.

Adios.

Yeah, you know what? I'm out of here, too.

I have a gig to get to.

Really? They're covering your Uber?

Signed an NDA. Can't say a word.

What are you doing?

Six handles and none of them open it.

Who do you think you're talking to? Move.

I'm sorry, but I don't really know

what's going on with you guys.

I'm getting the feeling there's a lot of weird history here,

and things are a little awkward.

Yeah, you guys, you used to be the Horsemen.

I don't get it. Why did you break up?

Ask them. Ask them why we broke up.

If it was up to me, we wouldn't have.

-The Eye wanted us to... -No, no.

...expose a Russian arms dealer.

Do we really have to live through this again?

We made some huge mistakes, we got...

-Sloppy. -Cocky.

Because of us, Dylan Shrike will never see

the outside of a Russian prison again.

-Who? -Dylan Shrike. Okay?

He's a Horseman. Come on. Do your homework, man.