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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,174 HEY, DAD. HOW 'BOUT THEM BRONCOS, HUH? 2 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,309 YOU THINK THEY'LL BE ABLE TO ACCUMULATE ENOUGH TOUCHDOWNS 3 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,511 IN ORDER TO WIN THE FOOTBALL TOURNAMENT? 4 00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:14,215 MANDY, WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO LIKE FOOTBALL? 5 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:18,386 YOU SCALPED YOUR TICKET TO LAST YEAR'S HOME PLAYOFF GAME. 6 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,753 YEAH, AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY 7 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:23,157 HAD TO SIT NEXT TO A PROFANITY-SPEWING LOUDMOUTH. 8 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:26,060 I DIDN'T LIKE THE SEAT I WAS IN! 9 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,197 OKAY, SO I DON'T REALLY LIKE FOOTBALL, 10 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,199 BUT I DO LIKE OUR NEW QUARTERBACK--GREG ARCHER. 11 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:33,734 DAD, HE'S SO GORG, IT'S RIDIC! 12 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:38,572 IN THIS COUNTRY, WE STILL SPEAK ENGLISH. 13 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,741 FOR NOW. 14 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,677 HEY, EVIE, UM, TEACH ME SOME, LIKE, FANCY FOOTBALL WORDS 15 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,946 SO I CAN IMPRESS HIM. OKAY. 16 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,015 UH, A HAIL MARY IS AN IMPOSSIBLE LONG SHOT. 17 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,183 OH. 18 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,352 LIKE YOU DATING AN ALL-STATE QUARTERBACK. 19 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,920 (water runs) 20 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:56,357 YOU MUST BE HAPPY MANDY'S TAKING AN INTEREST IN FOOTBALL. 21 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,926 OH, I'M SO HAP, IT'S RIDIC. 22 00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:01,962 GRANDPA! (Vanessa) AHH! 23 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,131 IS THAT THE SOUND OF LOVE? I CAN HEAR IT. 24 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,233 LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS! 25 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:08,736 HEY, I MADE SOME JELL-O FOR YOU AND I PUT MEAT IN IT. 26 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,639 WHAT, NO HUG FOR HIS DAD? 27 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:14,208 NO. LAST TIME YOU HUGGED SOMEONE AROUND HERE, 28 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,710 WE HAD BOYD. 29 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,246 (mouth full) WHAT IS THIS, RYAN? 30 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,880 OH, IT'S A NOTICE FROM BOYD'S SCHOOL. 31 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,615 I GUESS THE KIDS WILL NO LONGER BE ALLOWED 32 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,083 TO PLAY DODGEBALL AT RECESS. 33 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,453 OH. SOME PARENT WROTE A LETTER COMPLAINING. 34 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,321 SOME BUSYBODY MOM. 35 00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:29,123 THIS--THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS 36 00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:31,825 WHEN PARENTS GET INVOLVED IN THE SCHOOL. 37 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:34,995 THEY'RE PROBABLY RIGHT, THOUGH. 38 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,897 I MEAN, DODGEBALL CAN BE A REALLY ROUGH GAME. 39 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,300 ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE THE FIRST GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH BOOBS, 40 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,169 AND THE BOYS JUST KEEP THROWING BALLS AT YOU 41 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,137 TO WATCH THEM BOUNCE. 42 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:46,039 ON BEHALF OF ALL MEN, I'M SORRY. 43 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:49,510 HEY, DELILAH, YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR ALL MEN. 44 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,745 THIS IS CRAZY. 45 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,113 KIDS GOTTA KNOW HOW TO PLAY DODGEBALL. 46 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,283 WHO'S GONNA PROTECT US WHEN THE CHINESE ATTACK? 47 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,185 AND IT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 48 00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,953 YOU KNOW, THEY SOFTEN US UP WITH LEAD-BASED PAINTS FOR THE TOYS. 49 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:03,757 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, GATE'S OPEN, THE HORDES COME IN. 50 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,026 WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. SO YOUR HOMELAND DEFENSE PLAN 51 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:09,029 IS A LINE OF CHILDREN WITH RED RUBBER BALLS? 52 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,332 THE TRANSITION FROM THROWING BALLS 53 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:15,369 TO FRAGMENTATION GRENADES IS SEAMLESS. 54 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:20,007 -- Captions by VITA -- 55 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,513 HEY, RYAN, WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE 56 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,481 THEY'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT DODGEBALL ALL OF A SUDDEN? 57 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:30,050 KIDS GET HURT PLAYING DODGEBALL. 58 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:32,052 COME ON, NOT WHEN THEIR FASTBALLS TOP OUT 59 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,821 AT 3 MILES AN HOUR. 60 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,589 I DON'T KNOW. 61 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,493 (chuckles) H-HEY. HEY. 62 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,830 HEY... 63 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:46,500 PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT THE BUSYBODY MOM THAT DID THIS. 64 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,770 DODGEBALL SIMULATES WAR, MAN. 65 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,308 IT ENCOURAGES THE STRONG TO VICTIMIZE THE WEAK. 66 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,244 IT HURTS PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. 67 00:02:56,277 --> 00:03:00,648 WELL, NOT AS MUCH AS WAR. 68 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,484 LOOK, I'M NOT GONNA GET INTO A BIG DEBATE WITH YOU... 69 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,152 THERE'S NO DEBATE HERE. WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO. OVER THE VIRTUES 70 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,087 OF TEACHING KIDS HOW TO HURT EACH OTHER. HURT EACH OTHER? 71 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,689 BOYD IS MY SON 24 HOURS A DAY-- HE WASN'T FOR A YEAR WHEN YOU RAN AWAY. 72 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,691 NOT JUST AT MY PLACE. AND I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN. 73 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,159 OKAY, PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. I MAKE THE RULES. 74 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,327 ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 75 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:14,662 AND THEN, WHEN I MAKE A RULE, 76 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,530 I CHECK WITH HIS MOM, 77 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:19,267 TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE AUTHORIZES THAT RULE. ALL RIGHT. 78 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,602 AND WHICH OF YOUR MANY RULES ARE WE TALKING ABOUT NOW? 79 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,003 YOU KNOW, THAT THING 80 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,272 I WAS TRYING TO GET BANNED AT BOYD'S SCHOOL. 81 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,373 SODA MACHINES? MNH-MNH. 82 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,507 PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE? NO. 83 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,508 PIZZA? CLOSER. 84 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,710 DODGEBALL? DODGEBALL. 85 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,078 SEE? WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE. 86 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,013 YEAH, RYAN AND I FEEL THAT TOO MUCH COMPETITION 87 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,081 IS BAD FOR LITTLE KIDS. 88 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:37,084 FOR UNCOORDINATED KIDS, MAYBE. 89 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,686 WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO? 90 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,521 ACTUALLY, BOYD'S TEACHER PLAYS THIS REALLY SWEET 91 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,591 VERSION OF MUSICAL CHAIRS WHERE THERE ARE ENOUGH CHAIRS 92 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:46,560 FOR ALL THE KIDS TO SIT IN WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS. 93 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,896 YOU'RE KIDDING. 94 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,298 THAT'S--THAT'S NOT MUSICAL CHAIRS. 95 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:53,434 THAT'S JUST WALKING AROUND IN A CIRCLE AND SITTING DOWN. 96 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:57,137 THAT'S JUST PRACTICE FOR GETTING TO BE 90. 97 00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:00,073 H-HOW DO THE KIDS KNOW IF THEY WIN OR LOSE AT THAT? 98 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,810 EVERY CHILD IS A WINNER, MIKE. 99 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,278 I FORGOT. 100 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,880 LIFE IS JUST ONE BIG PARTICIPATION TROPHY. 101 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,782 YOU JUST SHOW UP, YOU'RE A WINNER! 102 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,418 WELL, IT'S TRUE. IT'S NOT TRUE. 103 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,219 JUST BY BEING BORN, YOU'VE WON THE LOTTERY. HOW'S THAT? 104 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,253 LOOK AT THE ODDS. 105 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,888 IN THE AVERAGE MALE EMISSION, 106 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,124 THERE ARE 300 MILLION SPERMATOZOA. 107 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,495 I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOUR WORD FOR THAT, I REALLY AM. 108 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:24,732 LOOK, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS BOYD PARTICIPATING 109 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,099 IN AN ACTIVITY AS SAVAGE AS DODGEBALL. 110 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,134 GOT IT. END OF STORY. 111 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,469 THAT'S NOT THE END OF THE STORY. 112 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,903 END OF THE STORY IS THE CHINESE 113 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,505 PLANTING THEIR FLAG IN THE WHITE HOUSE. 114 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:34,074 TELL BOYD I'LL PICK HIM UP TOMORROW, 115 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,242 AFTER YOGA. 116 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,310 MMM. 117 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,447 HEY, HEY, HEY, KRISTIN, I GOT AN IDEA. 118 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,350 WHY DON'T I PAY FOR ANOTHER PATERNITY TEST? 119 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,154 YOU NEVER KNOW. MAYBE WE'LL GET RESULTS I LIKE. 120 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,189 OKAY. MAYBE RYAN AND I DIDN'T WORK OUT, 121 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,658 BUT HE'S STILL BOYD'S FATHER, 122 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,760 AND I HAVE TO TAKE HIS FEELINGS INTO ACCOUNT. 123 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,362 OH, HE'S GOT A LOT OF FEELINGS. I BET HE PUTS THEM DOWN 124 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,497 IN A LITTLE PINK BOOK WITH A BUTTERFLY ON IT. 125 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:59,467 DAD, WILL--WILL YOU JUST TRY AND GET ALONG WITH RYAN? 126 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,034 OKAY? I WANT HIM AROUND FOR BOYD, 127 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,036 EVEN IF HE IS A LITTLE OVERPROTECTIVE. 128 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:06,340 OOH! NOW WE TALK ABOUT PROTECTION! 129 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,680 HEY, KYLE. HMM? 130 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,281 YOU EVER PLAY DODGEBALL WHEN YOU WERE A KID? 131 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,516 OH, YEAH. YEAH. 132 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:16,884 IT WAS GREAT. WASN'T IT? 133 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,285 EXCEPT I DIDN'T LIKE 134 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,021 THE "GETTING HIT BY THE BALL" PART. 135 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:24,625 OR THE "HITTING THE OTHER KIDS WITH THE BALL" PART. 136 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,127 THERE ARE NO OTHER PARTS. 137 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,162 YEAH. I GUESS IT WASN'T THAT GREAT. 138 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,466 COFFEE, ED? NO, THANKS, KYLE. 139 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,301 I HAVE TO GET OUT TO THE CHOPPER. 140 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,304 MIKE, THEY LOCATED THAT KID THAT GOT LOST ON MOUNT EVANS. 141 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,039 THANK GOD. YEAH. 142 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,474 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN VOLUNTEERING 143 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,809 WITH THE SEARCH AND RESCUE RANGERS? 144 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,243 WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST MISSION, ED? 145 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,212 YOU WERE SEARCHING THE DESERT, REMEMBER? 146 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,615 FOR MOSES AND THE ISRAELITES. 147 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,351 YEAH. AND TODAY I'M ON THE ROPE. 148 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,854 WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO RAPPEL DOWN, 149 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,023 TRAMP THROUGH THE BRAMBLE, AND HAUL THAT FRIGHTENED 150 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:59,226 LITTLE SNOT-NOSED MORON UP TO SAFETY. 151 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,429 WELL, HE'LL BE STARING INTO THE FACE OF LOVE. 152 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,364 NO, OFFENSE, BUT AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD 153 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,233 TO BE JUMPING OUT OF HELICOPTERS? 154 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,601 COME ON. LOOK AT HIM. 155 00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,937 HOW MANY YEARS IS HE REALLY RISKING? 156 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,042 KYLE, ME AND THE GUYS ARE NEVER GONNA RETIRE. 157 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,445 YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE EVERY TIME WE BRING IN SOME YOUNG BLOOD, 158 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,713 WE FIND THAT YOUR GENERATION CAN'T HACK IT. 159 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,181 AND THEY NEVER WILL. 160 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,050 WE'RE ON A DOWNWARD WIMP SPIRAL WITH MEN. 161 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,685 MY GRANDSON'S GOT SO MANY RULES-- 162 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,186 CAN'T THROW A BALL. RIGHT. 163 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,421 CAN'T THROW A STICK. YEAH. 164 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,523 CAN'T DRINK STUFF YOU FIND IN THE GARAGE. 165 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:33,060 THAT'S HOW I SAW MY FIRST FLYING LIZARD. 166 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,529 HEY, I CAN HACK IT. 167 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,197 TAKE ME ALONG ON THE SEARCH AND RESCUE. 168 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,899 WHOO! GOOD LUCK, EDDIE. OH, NO, NO, NO, KYLE. 169 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,367 I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO HAUL UP 170 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,970 TWO SNOT-NOSED MORONS UP THAT ROPE. 171 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,973 PLEASE. I'M TOUGHER THAN I LOOK. 172 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,875 (sips and chokes) 173 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,243 THAT IS SOME STRONG CHAMOMILE. 174 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,217 HEY, SWEETIE. HEY, DAD. 175 00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,420 CELERY--COMPLETELY USELESS, EXCEPT WHEN USED 176 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,490 AS A PEANUT BUTTER DELIVERY SYSTEM. 177 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,792 THEY'RE FOR BOYD AND HIS FRIENDS. WILD PACK OF BOYS. 178 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,060 (cowboy accent) ABOUT TIME WE HAD SOME MAYHEM AROUND HERE! 179 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,630 (laughs) 180 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,298 (cartoon playing on TV) 181 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:14,334 YEAH. MAYHEM! 182 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:18,105 OKAY, BOYS, DO WHAT EVE SAYS. 183 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,107 THEIR FOLKS SHOULD BE OVER IN ABOUT AN HOUR. 184 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,142 NO WORRIES. THIS IS PAY-PER-VIEW. 185 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,444 THEY VIEW, AND I GET PAID. 186 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,648 (cowboy accent) ALL RIGHT! 187 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,016 I'VE BEEN WAITIN' FOR THE DAY 188 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:32,019 WHEN WE GOT MORE MEN IN THIS HOUSE THAN WOMEN. 189 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,021 COME ON! HYAH! (snapping fingers) 190 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,155 COME ON, NOW, LET'S DO SOMETHING! 191 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,124 (laughs) 192 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,992 YO! 193 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,427 (normal voice) COME ON! LET'S DO SOMETHING! 194 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,129 WHAT'S THE DEAL? 195 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:45,032 YOU THINK I'D AGREE TO WATCH THEM IF THEY EVER MOVED? 196 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,700 THEY'RE MOVING NOW. 197 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,468 TV'S OFF. DONE, DONE, DONE. 198 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:49,970 GRANDPA! YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO? 199 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,005 LISTEN UP. WE'RE GOING TO A MAGIC PLACE. 200 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:54,508 IT'S CALLED OUTSIDE! 201 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,810 YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO? 202 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:59,012 WE'RE GONNA PLAY DODGEBALL. COME ON. GET UP. 203 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:02,182 GET YOUR PRE-DIABETIC BODIES AND MOVE. LET'S GO! 204 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:05,352 LET'S GET SOME MOVEMENT! MOVE, MOVE! COME ON! (claps hands) 205 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,493 ALL RIGHT. BOYD, YOU'RE GONNA BE TEAM CAPTAIN. 206 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:14,862 GOTTA PICK A PARTNER. 207 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,997 PICKING TEAMS HURTS PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. 208 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,498 (laughing) YOU BET IT DOES. 209 00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,233 AND IT JUST MAKES THEM TRY HARDER. 210 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,202 AND THEN THEY WORK HARDER. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, 211 00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:24,572 AMERICA HAS BUILT AN ECONOMIC ENGINE 212 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,774 NEVER BEFORE SEEN IN HISTORY! 213 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,178 ALL RIGHT. 214 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,046 BOYD, YOU AND SPENCE ON ONE TEAM. 215 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,015 FOUR-EYES, YOU AND FRECKLES OVER HERE. OVER HERE. 216 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,750 ALL RIGHT, EVE, BREAK IT DOWN FOR 'EM. 217 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,519 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP! (blows whistle) 218 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:41,321 FIRST RULE OF DODGEBALL CLUB-- 219 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,591 NO ONE TALKS ABOUT DODGEBALL CLUB. 220 00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,158 FIRST RULE--NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT. 221 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,560 SECOND RULE-- 222 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,997 NO HEAD SHOTS. OKAY? 223 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,600 HIT SOMEONE ABOVE THE SHOULDERS, YOU'RE OUT. 224 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:56,870 BUT I'M GONNA LIE TO YOU, IT'S TOTALLY WORTH IT. 225 00:08:56,904 --> 00:09:00,240 WE GET TO PLAY DODGEBALL? ISN'T THAT AGAINST THE RULES? 226 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,010 MY BEACH, MY OCEAN. 227 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,444 AROUND HERE, WE DO WHAT WE WANT. 228 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:07,347 AND I SAY... (chuckles) 229 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,817 TAKE THE BALL AND WHIP IT GOOD. 230 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,393 STOP! 231 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,097 YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF WORSE WALKING AROUND IN A CIRCLE 232 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,766 AND JUST SITTING DOWN! 233 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,300 EVE, SHOW THEM HOW TO THROW THAT BALL. 234 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:30,070 YOU WANT YOUR OPPONENT TO KNOW HE'S BEEN HIT. MM-HMM. 235 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,139 LIKE THIS. BOO-YAH! 236 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,540 YEAH! HUH? 237 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,709 IT'S YOUR TURN, KID. LET'S GO. 238 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,577 LEGS INTO IT. LET'S GO. 239 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:38,946 READY? PLAY! 240 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,881 (blows whistle) 241 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,149 (ball thwacks loudly) OW! 242 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,618 (laughs) WELL, THAT HAD TO HURT, HUH? 243 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,255 (Mike) HEY, SIT DOWN. 244 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:51,491 THAT'S A HEAD SHOT, FANCY PANTS. YOU'RE OUT. 245 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:54,995 (laughs) WHAT'D I TELL YOU? IT'S A RUSH, RIGHT? 246 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:58,598 LISTEN, SPENCE, THERE'S TWO PARTS TO DODGEBALL AS A GAME. 247 00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,267 FIRST PART IS THE BALL, WHICH YOU'RE... 248 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,004 (laughing) VERY FAMILIAR WITH RIGHT NOW, HUH? 249 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,239 THE DODGE PART, WE GOTTA WORK ON. 250 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,341 BUT THE IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW IS 251 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,678 THAT WHEN YOUR MOM GETS HERE, THIS HAPPENED 252 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:13,180 'CAUSE YOU RAN INTO A DOOR. 253 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,155 HI. MIKE BAXTER HERE FOR OUTDOOR MAN. 254 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:23,824 HEALTHY COMPETITION. 255 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,759 IT'S FROWNED UPON IN CERTAIN PARTS OF THE WORLD-- 256 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:29,129 LIKE NORTH KOREA, THE TEACHERS' UNION-- 257 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,597 BUT NOT HERE AT OUTDOOR MAN. 258 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,200 WE LIKE HEALTHY COMPETITION. WE ENCOURAGE IT, ACTUALLY. 259 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,002 WE WANT YOU TO CATCH THE BIGGEST FISH. 260 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,204 AND WE DON'T CARE WHOSE FEELINGS GET HURT. 261 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,472 BUT YOU KNOW WHO DOES CARE ABOUT FEELINGS IN FISHING? 262 00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:42,976 THOSE PEOPLE FISHING OVER ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE LAKE. 263 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,345 YEAH, YOU DON'T WANT TO BE CATCHING A FISH OVER THERE. 264 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,348 IF IT'S A BIG ONE, THEY'LL CONFISCATE IT FROM YOU. 265 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,350 THEY'LL CHOP IT UP IN LITTLE PIECES 266 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:53,954 AND GIVE IT AWAY TO THE PEOPLE TOO LAZY TO LEARN HOW TO FISH. 267 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,957 YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU KEEP GIVING PEOPLE FISH, 268 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,325 THEY'RE GONNA KEEP EATING IT. 269 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:02,930 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WON'T DO? IS LEARN HOW TO FISH. 270 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,134 HELLO, MIKE. 271 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,137 OH, CONGRATULATIONS FINDING THAT BOY. 272 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,740 YOU GUYS WERE ON THE 5:00 NEWS LAST NIGHT. 273 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:16,076 OHH. WHO CAN STAY UP THAT LATE? 274 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,577 SO HOW'D KYLE DO? 275 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,747 OH, THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA, MIKE. WHAT?! 276 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,381 WHAT, DID HE SLOW YOU DOWN? 277 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,515 (chuckles) HE WOULDN'T STOP. 278 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,718 HE WENT DOWN THE ROPE A SECOND TIME 279 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,154 JUST TO GET THE KID'S HAT. 280 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,257 MAYBE HE THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER KID STUCK IN THE SNOW. 281 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,926 KYLE'S A NATURAL. 282 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,063 I MEAN, I VASTLY PREFER MAKING FUN OF THE YOUNGER GENERATION 283 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:39,066 THAN GETTING MY BUTT KICKED BY THEM. 284 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:42,702 HEY. THERE HE IS-- THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN. 285 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,905 (chuckles) WELL, YOU'RE A LITTLE LATE, SON. 286 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,940 YOU HAVE TROUBLE GETTING OUT OF BED THIS MORNING? 287 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,708 NO. I'VE ALREADY CLEANED THE LOADING DOCK. 288 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,043 I'VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE. 289 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:52,746 HOW YOU FEELING? 290 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,714 OH! LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. 291 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:55,715 (laughs) GREAT. 292 00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:56,950 AHH. (laughing) (laughing) 293 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,521 (groans) LIKE A MILLION BUCKS 294 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,291 ARE DRIVING THEIR ANTLERS INTO MY BACK. 295 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,492 (groans) 296 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,297 HEY. HEY. 297 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,932 HOW'D IT GO WITH GREG ARCHER? 298 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,733 DID YOU USE ANY OF THE FOOTBALL TERMS I TAUGHT YOU? 299 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,769 AH, I TRIED, AND I TOTALLY CHOKED. 300 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:17,938 BUT, UM, IT TURNS OUT THERE'S SOMETHING HE LIKES 301 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,773 EVEN MORE THAN TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL. 302 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:24,044 EW! 303 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,645 YEAH. ACTUALLY, IT TURNS OUT 304 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,915 HE DOESN'T EVEN REALLY LIKE TALKING THAT MUCH. 305 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,649 SO WE DIDN'T TALK... 306 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,285 (singsongy) FOR A LONG TIME! 307 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,721 (clicks tongue) THE AGE-OLD STORY-- 308 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,257 BOY MEETS GIRL, BOY MAKES OUT WITH GIRL, 309 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:41,261 GIRL TELLS SISTER, AND SISTER WANTS HER TWO MINUTES BACK. 310 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,465 (deep voice) WELL, THE LAST TIME I SAW THAT MONKEY, 311 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,968 HE WAS TRYING TO SHOVE THE CORK BACK IN. 312 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,337 SO, OKAY. (normal voice) WHAT A CROWD. 313 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,939 WHY DO WE HAVE SUCH A BIG CROWD? 314 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,074 YEAH, SOMEONE DID A TERRIBLE JOB 315 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,276 WITH THE FIRST RULE OF DODGEBALL CLUB, HUH? 316 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,845 SPENCE? 317 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,251 ALL RIGHT, LET'S PLAY. ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE LINE UP! LET'S GO! 318 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,587 ALL RIGHT, BOYD, SHOW US WHAT YOU CAN DO, BUDDY. 319 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,923 READY? PLAY! (blows whistle) 320 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,458 (grunting) 321 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,828 SO WHEN KRISTIN AND RYAN SAID "NO DODGEBALL," 322 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:17,630 YOU HEARD THAT AS "DODGEBALL"? 323 00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,667 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, EITHER. I WAS OUTVOTED 2-TO-1. 324 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,802 OH, NO. HONEY, NO. IT'S NOT 2-TO-1, 325 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,371 IT'S 2-TO-0. 326 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,306 AS GRANDPARENTS, WE'RE LIKE PEOPLE IN PENNSYLVANIA 327 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:30,177 WITHOUT DRIVER'S LICENSES. YOU DON'T GET A VOTE. 328 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,179 ARE YOU REALLY COMFORTABLE WITH PEOPLE VOTING 329 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,347 THAT CAN'T EVEN DRIVE A CAR? 330 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:37,450 FACE IT, MIKE-- YOU HAVE NO SAY. 331 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,986 LOOK, I PAY FOR EVERYTHING AROUND HERE. 332 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:42,222 THAT'S LIKE TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION. 333 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,857 COME ON, YOU HAVE TO RESPECT KRISTIN AND RYAN'S 334 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,058 PARENTING DECISIONS, THAT'S ALL. 335 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,494 I WILL WHENEVER THEY MAKE A GOOD ONE. 336 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,496 LOOK, YOU GAVE ME THREE GIRLS. I LOVE THEM... 337 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,564 (children shouting playfully) BUT NOW I GET A CHANCE TO RAISE A BOY, 338 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,667 AND YOU WANT ME TO LET HIS DAD TURN HIM INTO A GIRL? 339 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,203 (ball bouncing) YEAH, JUST SO YOU KNOW, 340 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,972 UH, SEX IS DETERMINED BY THE MALE. 341 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,508 IF THAT WERE THE CASE, WE'D BE DOING IT RIGHT NOW. 342 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,544 (ball thwacks) (Boyd) OW! 343 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,880 OH, HONEY. COME HERE. 344 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:09,983 FIRST ONE OUT-- JUST LIKE HIS DAD. 345 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,484 OHH! 346 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,921 COME ON, CHAMP, WE'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME, OKAY? 347 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,925 FIRST ONE OUT AGAIN. 348 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,692 (ball thwacks) 349 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,162 WELL, AT LEAST YOU HAD YOUR HANDS UP THIS TIME. 350 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,232 (ball thwacks) YOU LI GETTING HIT WITH THE BALL?! 351 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,700 I SUCK AT THIS. 352 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,236 HEY, WATCH YOUR TONGUE. 353 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,603 YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE DODGEBALL'S 354 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:31,838 NOT THE ONLY THING YOU'RE TEACHING HIM. 355 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,907 I CAN'T SEE THIS ANYMORE. 356 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,242 HE'S TOAST, DAD. 357 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,044 MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST CUT OUR LOSSES. 358 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,878 EVE! LISTEN... 359 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,780 I THINK YOU'RE REALLY DOING GOOD OUT THERE. 360 00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:44,084 I REALLY DO. WHAT GAME ARE YOU WATCHING? 361 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,885 (chuckles) 362 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,720 WINNING AND LOSING ARE PART OF THE GAME. 363 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,023 YOU GOT THE LOSING DOWN. DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD. 364 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,925 I SAY WE CONCENTRATE ON WINNING. 365 00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,360 THAT MEANS YOU GOTTA DODGE THAT BALL. 366 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,627 IF EVERYTHING ELSE FAILS, 367 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,829 JUST USE SPENCE AS A HUMAN SHIELD. 368 00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:01,001 OKAY, GAME ON! EVERYONE LINE UP! 369 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,038 READY? PLAY! (blows whistle) 370 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,440 (children shouting playfully) 371 00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,042 BOYD? HEY, DAD! 372 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,843 LOOK OUT! 373 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,616 HEY, DON'T LOOK AT ME. 374 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:19,886 THESE KIDS JUST WANDERED IN HERE FROM THE CORNFIELDS. 375 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,062 OKAY, GUYS, MOVIE TIME! (claps hands) 376 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,763 POPSICLE, POPSICLE, 377 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,665 POPSICLE... 378 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,267 OOH. JUST HOLD THAT ON YOUR FACE 379 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,970 FOR A FEW MINUTES. 380 00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:39,506 I RAN INTO A DOOR. 381 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,313 HOW COULD YOU DEFY ME LIKE THAT? 382 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,847 I DIDN'T DEFY YOU. 383 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,816 I JUST IGNORED YOU. 384 00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,785 RYAN, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE CULPABLE HERE, TOO. 385 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,954 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ALL I DID WAS TELL MIKE HE COULDN'T DO IT. 386 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,923 EXACTLY. YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE PUT THE DODGEBALL 387 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,426 RIGHT IN HIS HANDS. 388 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,161 I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAD TO WALK IN HERE 389 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,796 AND SEE MY KID CATCH THE BALL WITH HIS FACE. 390 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:07,967 LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. HE'S DEFINITELY YOUR KID. 391 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,636 HOW ARE YOU STILL DEFENDING THIS? BOYD GOT HURT. 392 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,804 HE'LL BE FINE. HE GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A DODGEBALL. 393 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,873 COME ON! HE'LL GET BETTER NEXT TIME. 394 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,376 IF YOU DON'T GIVE A KID A CHANCE TO GET BETTER AT STUFF, 395 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,312 HE'S JUST STUCK BEING A LOSER, JUST LIKE... 396 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,614 OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARE LOSERS. 397 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,316 WELL, THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A NEXT TIME, 398 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,817 BECAUSE HE'S NOT PLAYING ANYMORE. 399 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,819 VERY ADULT. VERY ADULT. 400 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,856 IT'S NOT EVERY DAY YOU GET A TEXT THAT SAYS, 401 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:33,826 "DODGEBALL CLUB AT YOUR HOUSE" WITH SEVEN EXCLAMATION POINTS. 402 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,995 YOU CALLED HER HOME FROM WORK FOR THIS? 403 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:38,631 DAD, I THOUGHT WE TALKED ABOUT RESPECTING OUR WISHES. 404 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,733 IF WE TELL BOYD SOMETHING AND YOU UNDERMINE US, 405 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,469 HE'S NEVER GONNA LISTEN TO ANYTHING WE SAY. 406 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,003 REALLY? LET ME PUT YOUR MIND AT EASE. 407 00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:45,638 I'VE RAISED THREE KIDS. 408 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,740 THEY NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT YOU SAY. ALL RIGHT? 409 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,542 CASE IN POINT-- 410 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,578 REMEMBER THE BIRTH CONTROL CONVERSATION WE HAD? 411 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:52,979 IT'S SITTING OUT THERE 412 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,748 WITH A LITTLE POPSICLE AGAINST ITS CHEEK. 413 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:58,318 WHAT YOU DID IS SO NOT COOL! SO NOT COOL. 414 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,986 I MEAN, WHERE DO YOU GET OFF-- WHERE, INDEED! 415 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,721 I GOT THIS! 416 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,556 SHE'S GOT THIS. 417 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,860 WELL, HE'S GONE. NOW YOU CAN BE HONEST. 418 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,762 YEAH, HE'S GONE. AND THE LAST TIME HE WAS GONE, 419 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:11,764 IT TOOK HIM TWO YEARS TO FIND HIS WAY BACK. 420 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,700 PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE YOUR NAME 421 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,435 AND MOVE OUT OF THE STATE. 422 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:18,071 I WANT MY SON TO GROW UP WITH HIS FATHER IN HIS LIFE. 423 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,772 IF YOU KEEP BEING MEAN TO RYAN, 424 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,841 IT'LL GIVE HIM AN EXCUSE TO--TO LEAVE FOR GOOD. 425 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:25,011 JUST HOW MEAN WOULD I HAVE TO BE? (laughs) 426 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,580 DAD, I LOVE YOU. 427 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:30,217 NOW BUTT THE HELL OUT OF RAISING MY KID. 428 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,955 AHH. A FRIENDLY FACE. 429 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:38,057 YOU'RE A DUMBASS. 430 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,760 SAYING SUCH UNFRIENDLY THINGS! 431 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,400 WHAT'S HAPPENING? 432 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:50,470 I'M BABYSITTING. 433 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,738 WHERE'S BOYD? 434 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,973 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T GET PAID FOR HIM. 435 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:05,552 MOM, YOU WOULD LOOK AMAZING IN THESE FLANNEL PAJAMAS. 436 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,220 WOW. HEY... (chuckles) 437 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,788 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD PULL IT OFF 438 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:11,324 AS WELL AS THIS 80-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. 439 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,594 (ball bouncing) 440 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,062 WHAT WAS THAT? 441 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,832 IT'S BOYD. HE'S BEEN OUT THERE PRACTICING FOR AN HOUR. 442 00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,501 YOU'D THINK GETTING HIT IN THE HEAD 443 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,470 WOULD HAVE KNOCKED SOME SENSE INTO HIM. (chuckles) 444 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,871 WELL, IMAGINE THAT. 445 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,641 WORKING HARD AT SOMETHING TO GET BETTER AT IT. 446 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:29,942 OR TELLING HIM HE CAN'T DO SOMETHING 447 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,478 MAKES HIM WANT TO DO IT MORE. 448 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,481 EITHER WAY, HE IS DEFINITELY A BAXTER. 449 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,782 (speaks indistinctly) 450 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:39,186 (ball bouncing) 451 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:53,166 HE'S, UH, LOSING TO HIMSELF. 452 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,640 LISTEN, UM... 453 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:04,477 I'LL DO BETTER LETTING THE PARENTS DO THE PARENTING. 454 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:08,147 (ball bouncing) 455 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:10,850 ALL RIGHT. GO WHIP A BALL AT MY SON. 456 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,721 I BETTER CALL HIS DAD AND ASK. 457 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,022 I'LL HANDLE RYAN. 458 00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:18,725 I WAS BEING SARCASTIC. 459 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,193 (claps hands) ALL RIGHT, BOYD, GIVE ME THE BALL. 460 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,828 I'M GONNA TAKE A SHOT AT YOUR HEAD. 461 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,564 I MEAN, DAD'S BETTER THAN A WALL, RIGHT? 462 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,367 OH, AND TWICE AS STUBBORN. 463 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,001 (ball thwacks) (Boyd) OW! 464 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:32,739 I-I GOTTA GET A POPSICLE. 465 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,074 I RAN INTO A DOOR. 466 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,082 HEY, MIKE. 467 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,551 HEY, ED. HOW YOU DOING? 468 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:47,587 I'M EXHAUSTED. WE HAD A LATE-NIGHT RESCUE. 469 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,723 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN--7:15? 470 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,893 (groaning) I JUST CAN'T KEEP UP WITH KYLE. 471 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,929 I FEEL LIKE I'M LETTING OUR GENERATION DOWN, MIKE. 472 00:19:56,963 --> 00:20:00,900 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OUR GENERATION," WHITE MAN? 473 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:03,836 YOU KNOW, THE OLD GUARD. COME ON. 474 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,738 KID'S COMING IN. 475 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,907 LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO DO A LITTLE GRECO-ROMAN WRESTLING. 476 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,042 SLIP OFF YOUR CLOTHES. GET ALL OILED UP. 477 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,382 99... 100. 478 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,949 ALL RIGHT. (laughs) YEAH. 479 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:19,752 OKAY. I THINK I'M GONNA HIT THE WEIGHTS NOW. 480 00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,388 YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE, SIR. 481 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,423 (laughing) 482 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,460 SO... WHAT'S UP, BUTTERCUP? 483 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,997 I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THOSE CRAZY OLD DUDES. 484 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:35,768 DO YOU THINK... ED WILL BE UPSET IF I QUIT? 485 00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:39,105 WOW, WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU AROUND HERE. 486 00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,741 NO, I MEAN, QUIT THE RANGERS. 487 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,910 OH. NO. 488 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,281 I MEAN, EVERY MUSCLE IN MY BODY ACHES. 489 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:49,649 DO YOU HAVE ANY IBUPROFEN? 490 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,484 DO I LOOK LIKE A NURSE TO YOU? 491 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,453 LISTEN, I-I GOT AN IDEA. 492 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:56,122 I COULD SHOOT YOU WITH A TRANQUILIZING DART. 493 00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,492 OKAY. 494 00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:02,161 BUT THIS TIME, PROMISE NOT TO DRAW ON MY FACE? 495 00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:05,197 YOU KNOW, I CAN'T KEEP THAT PROMISE. (gunshot) 37018

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