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1
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,836
� Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played �
2
00:00:06,904 --> 00:00:10,540
� songs that made
the hit parade �
3
00:00:10,608 --> 00:00:14,144
� guys like us
we had it made �
4
00:00:14,212 --> 00:00:16,946
� those were the days �
5
00:00:17,014 --> 00:00:20,683
� and you knewwhere you were then �
6
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:24,254
� girls were girls
and men were men �
7
00:00:24,322 --> 00:00:27,224
� mister, we could use a man �
8
00:00:27,291 --> 00:00:31,060
� like Herbert hoover again �
9
00:00:31,128 --> 00:00:34,431
� didn't need no welfare state �
10
00:00:34,499 --> 00:00:37,934
� everybody pulled his weight �
11
00:00:38,002 --> 00:00:41,638
� gee, our old lasalle
ran great �
12
00:00:41,705 --> 00:00:46,143
� those were the days �
13
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:57,687
Gee, ma, that's lovely.
Really, Michael and I
can't thank you enough.
14
00:00:57,755 --> 00:01:00,957
Well, how often does
my only daughter...
15
00:01:01,025 --> 00:01:04,694
Celebrate her first
wedding anniversary?
16
00:01:04,762 --> 00:01:06,296
Just think, Archie.
17
00:01:06,364 --> 00:01:12,001
Gloria and Mike have been
with us as man and wife
for one whole year.
18
00:01:12,069 --> 00:01:13,603
Ain't that wonderful?
19
00:01:20,811 --> 00:01:24,514
It's like celebrating
your 365th day
of a toothache.
20
00:01:28,386 --> 00:01:30,320
Where is the meathead anyhow?
21
00:01:30,388 --> 00:01:33,623
He ought to be here
with the food any minute.
22
00:01:33,691 --> 00:01:36,259
Daddy, will you please
stop calling him names?
23
00:01:36,327 --> 00:01:38,495
Tonight means something
to Michael and me,
24
00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:41,931
so why don't you just
join in the spirit
of the celebration?
25
00:01:41,999 --> 00:01:44,901
Yeah, it's their
first anniversary.
26
00:01:44,968 --> 00:01:47,604
That's the paper
anniversary, ain't it?
Yeah.
27
00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:50,607
Well, I'm right
in the spirit then.
I'm reading the paper.
28
00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:56,012
Here's the food.
Oh, hi, Michael.
Happy anniversary.
29
00:01:57,415 --> 00:02:01,518
Edith, tell them to cut that out
and bring the food over.
30
00:02:01,586 --> 00:02:04,921
All right, Archie.
Okay, everybody, let's eat.
31
00:02:04,988 --> 00:02:07,790
I'll get some nice bowls.
Never mind
the bowls, Edith.
32
00:02:07,858 --> 00:02:10,227
Just dish it out.
It's getting cold
in the bag.
33
00:02:10,294 --> 00:02:12,596
We got subgum chow mein.
34
00:02:12,663 --> 00:02:15,632
We got sweet and sour pork,
some fried rice,
35
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,134
some egg rolls,
and what else?
36
00:02:18,202 --> 00:02:20,870
We got some
egg foo Yung.
Smells good.
37
00:02:20,938 --> 00:02:22,872
Let me fix
your plate, Archie.
38
00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:25,908
I got my own plate,
and I'm fixing it
myself.
39
00:02:25,976 --> 00:02:28,278
Where's
the sweet and sour?
Right over there.
40
00:02:28,346 --> 00:02:30,380
The best way to eat this...
41
00:02:30,448 --> 00:02:33,816
Is for everybody to taste
a little of everything.
42
00:02:33,884 --> 00:02:36,185
That's your way, Edith.
It ain't mine.
43
00:02:37,688 --> 00:02:41,291
Daddy, you're
hogging the rice.
Here it is.
44
00:03:03,947 --> 00:03:06,816
Why don't you eat, Archie?
45
00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:09,352
'Cause I ain't got
a fork, Edith.
46
00:03:11,221 --> 00:03:16,092
The kids thought since
it's a special occasion
and it's Chinese food,
47
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,395
we'll all use chopsticks.
48
00:03:18,462 --> 00:03:20,463
I don't care
if it's chinks.
I want a fork.
49
00:03:22,232 --> 00:03:26,736
- Archie, it's Chinese food.
- That's what I said-- chinks.
50
00:03:26,804 --> 00:03:29,739
And I ain't knocking
the Chinese people
by saying that.
51
00:03:29,807 --> 00:03:33,576
It's just how I
and everybody I know
calls their food.
52
00:03:33,644 --> 00:03:35,578
And their laundries.
53
00:03:37,315 --> 00:03:41,150
Will you stay
out of this, huh?
That's what you call 'em.
54
00:03:41,218 --> 00:03:43,152
Will you
stifle yourself?
55
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:48,358
Just the other day,
you told me to take your
shirts to the chinky laundry.
56
00:03:49,727 --> 00:03:51,894
I don't care what I told you.
57
00:03:51,962 --> 00:03:55,932
I'm telling you now,
I can't eat the food
with these chink pickup sticks,
58
00:03:55,999 --> 00:03:57,934
so get me a fork.
59
00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:00,236
Right away, Archie.
Gee, Archie.
60
00:04:00,304 --> 00:04:03,105
How can you talk like that?
With one word,
61
00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:05,809
you're putting away
an entire race of people.
62
00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:08,044
Yeah, that's right.
And not just the Chinese.
63
00:04:08,111 --> 00:04:10,880
The Laotians, the Cambodians,
the Vietnamese, the Koreans--
64
00:04:10,948 --> 00:04:15,084
hold it there, meathead.
I never called them
countries chinks.
65
00:04:15,152 --> 00:04:17,887
No. He calls them gooks.
66
00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:27,797
You said they're
all your yellow race.
67
00:04:27,865 --> 00:04:31,434
They ain't exactly chinks,
but they're definitely
offshoots of your chinks.
68
00:04:31,502 --> 00:04:33,703
They're what you
call chinkish.
69
00:04:35,172 --> 00:04:39,108
Enough's enough.
I asked you not
to upset Michael and I.
70
00:04:39,176 --> 00:04:41,611
- What am I doing?
- Why shouldn't he upset me?
71
00:04:41,679 --> 00:04:44,146
Why is tonight any different?
Nothing's changed.
72
00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:47,016
I've been putting up
with the same bull ever
since the first time I met him.
73
00:04:47,084 --> 00:04:50,219
Don't remind me
of that, meathead,
74
00:04:50,287 --> 00:04:54,657
because that night
is stamped "inedibly"
on my heart,
75
00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:57,159
along with other
fond memories of the past...
76
00:04:57,227 --> 00:05:00,196
Like Pearl harbor
and the crash of the hindenburg.
77
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:05,001
I'll never forget
that night either.
78
00:05:05,068 --> 00:05:09,572
Gloria was
so cute and excited,
running around,
79
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:14,377
and all because Mike was coming
to dinner for the first time.
80
00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:19,982
Ma. Ma. I looked all over
and I can't find
the linen napkins.
81
00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:23,386
They're ought to be
right there in that cabinet.
82
00:05:23,454 --> 00:05:26,423
- I looked and they're not here.
- That's funny.
83
00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:30,693
They were there when
I took 'em out a minute ago.
84
00:05:30,761 --> 00:05:33,763
Gloria, here they are.
Thanks, ma.
85
00:05:33,831 --> 00:05:38,401
Gee, they're beautiful.
Linen napkins.
86
00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:43,139
Should I bring
the crabmeat cocktail
out now or wait till later?
87
00:05:43,206 --> 00:05:47,444
Let's wait
till he comes.
Crabmeat cocktails.
88
00:05:47,511 --> 00:05:52,181
I better check the oven.
We don't wanna overcook
the roast duckling.
89
00:05:52,249 --> 00:05:55,117
Roast duckling.
Come on, Edith. What is this?
90
00:05:55,185 --> 00:05:57,887
Daddy, would you
please put on this tie?
91
00:05:57,955 --> 00:05:59,889
No, I won't put on no tie.
92
00:05:59,957 --> 00:06:02,425
What's going on around here?
What are youse doing?
93
00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:06,228
Linens napkins, when all
I ever get is paper towels.
94
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:11,000
Crabmeat cocktails,
whereas the best I usually
get is the canned fruit cup...
95
00:06:11,068 --> 00:06:14,771
With the fruit cut up so small,
it looks like somebody
ate it before.
96
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,875
What's this roast duckling?
97
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:22,445
The last time your mother made
roast duckling for me was never.
98
00:06:22,513 --> 00:06:24,547
Now you're telling me
to put on a tie.
99
00:06:24,615 --> 00:06:28,250
What is it?
Who we entertaining here?
The count of monte "crisco"?
100
00:06:30,187 --> 00:06:33,155
Daddy, you're jealous.
101
00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:37,660
No, I ain't jealous.
I'm your father.
What are you talking about?
102
00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:41,731
I just wanna know
why we're putting on
all this doll, that's all.
103
00:06:41,799 --> 00:06:43,733
For one of them losers
of yours?
104
00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:48,004
Like that little shrimpy guy
with the no chin, used to have
all them nosebleeds?
105
00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:52,709
Arnold derosa.
Daddy, we were
12 years old.
106
00:06:52,776 --> 00:06:55,177
Don't make no difference.
You was always picking
losers, always,
107
00:06:55,245 --> 00:06:57,246
and I got a feeling
from the fuss
you're making now...
108
00:06:57,314 --> 00:07:00,049
That this guy tonight
is gonna be the biggest
loser of them all.
109
00:07:00,117 --> 00:07:03,285
How can you say that, daddy?
You haven't even
met him yet.
110
00:07:03,353 --> 00:07:05,955
I don't wanna meet him.
What do you think of that?
111
00:07:06,023 --> 00:07:09,993
You're not just fair. Ma!
112
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:12,562
Ma.
What is it, Gloria?
113
00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:16,499
I got a feeling daddy's
gonna ruin everything
tonight. I just know it.
114
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:21,370
What do I do?
You really like
this boy, don't you?
115
00:07:21,438 --> 00:07:24,507
Well, yeah.
A lot?
116
00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:26,643
Yeah.
117
00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:30,647
Would the word l-o-v-e
describe it?
118
00:07:31,916 --> 00:07:33,616
Yeah.
119
00:07:33,684 --> 00:07:37,086
Gloria, that's wonderful.
120
00:07:37,154 --> 00:07:41,057
Does Michael have
a firm handshake?
Huh?
121
00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:45,394
Your father likes a man
to have a firm handshake.
122
00:07:45,462 --> 00:07:47,964
He says it's a sign
of character.
123
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:51,400
Ma, that's
ridiculous.
No, it's true.
124
00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:56,105
I remember one time
when your father had
a terrible toothache,
125
00:07:56,173 --> 00:07:59,642
so I took him
to the mcnab's dentist,
Dr. Marshall Herman.
126
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:02,579
And your father said
that shaking hands with him...
127
00:08:02,646 --> 00:08:05,748
Was like shaking hands
with a wet washcloth,
128
00:08:05,816 --> 00:08:10,386
and he wouldn't let
no limp wrist inside his mouth.
129
00:08:10,454 --> 00:08:13,022
You know what he called
that dentist?
130
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:16,593
- What, ma?
- He called him the tooth fairy.
131
00:08:24,034 --> 00:08:28,104
So, you see, if Michael
has a firm handshake,
132
00:08:28,171 --> 00:08:30,873
you got nothing
to worry about.
133
00:08:30,941 --> 00:08:33,076
Oh, ma, he's here.
Yeah.
134
00:08:33,143 --> 00:08:36,245
Do I look all right?
You look lovely.
135
00:08:38,582 --> 00:08:42,251
Archie, please be nice
to this boy.
136
00:08:42,319 --> 00:08:45,521
It's very im--
Edith, I'm always nice.
137
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:49,659
Go let the jerk in.
138
00:08:49,727 --> 00:08:53,462
Daddy, please.
And, please, the tie.
139
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,798
Yeah, Archie.
Here. Put the tie on.
140
00:08:55,866 --> 00:08:58,801
Cut that out, Edith.
What do I have
to wear this for?
141
00:08:58,869 --> 00:09:01,237
Coming!
142
00:09:15,753 --> 00:09:18,220
Michael, where's your tie?
143
00:09:18,288 --> 00:09:23,225
Well, I tried, Gloria,
but it doesn't look good
with an empty neck.
144
00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:27,997
Look, Edith, he wore
his Halloween costume.
145
00:09:28,065 --> 00:09:31,267
Put a tie on me.
Get rid of this thing here.
146
00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:34,070
Come on over here
and meet my parents.
147
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:37,339
Ma, daddy,
this is Michael stivic.
148
00:09:37,407 --> 00:09:39,776
Michael, this ismy mother, Mrs. Bunker.
149
00:09:39,843 --> 00:09:43,713
- Hi. How are you?
- How do you do?
150
00:09:45,415 --> 00:09:47,817
And my father, Mr. Bunker.
151
00:09:52,589 --> 00:09:55,391
Daddy, this
is Michael stivic.
152
00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:59,628
- Michael--
- all right, Gloria,
we done that.
153
00:09:59,697 --> 00:10:01,964
I think we all know
who everybody is now.
154
00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:04,801
I knew everybody before.
155
00:10:07,838 --> 00:10:10,372
Except Mr. Stivic.
156
00:10:11,809 --> 00:10:14,911
So, uh, you're
Mr. Bunker.
157
00:10:14,978 --> 00:10:17,814
You figured
that out, huh?
158
00:10:21,618 --> 00:10:25,121
Michael, shake his hand hard.
Daddy likes that.
159
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:28,224
Shake his hand, Archie.
Be nice. Go ahead.
Oh!
160
00:10:28,291 --> 00:10:29,726
Come on.
161
00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,928
All right, put 'er there.
162
00:10:34,631 --> 00:10:37,734
Ow!
163
00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:40,737
What the hell
kind of an animal
she bringing in here?
164
00:10:42,806 --> 00:10:45,742
He has a lot
of character.
165
00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:49,145
Mm, mm, mm,
mm, mm-mm-mm.
166
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:52,615
Why don't you two sit down
and get better acquainted...
167
00:10:52,682 --> 00:10:56,285
While Gloria and me
finishing preparing the dinner.
168
00:10:56,353 --> 00:10:59,388
That's some nice tie
your guest is wearing there.
169
00:10:59,456 --> 00:11:01,390
Come on, Gloria.
170
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:14,436
How would you like
to try this here chair?
'Cause that one's mine.
171
00:11:14,504 --> 00:11:16,438
Sorry.
172
00:11:27,651 --> 00:11:30,887
What kind
of a name is stivic?
Huh?
173
00:11:32,322 --> 00:11:35,825
Where you from?
Oh. Uh, Chicago.
174
00:11:37,027 --> 00:11:38,961
I mean, what's
your nationality?
175
00:11:40,764 --> 00:11:43,465
I'm an American.
176
00:11:43,533 --> 00:11:46,269
I mean, where
are your people from?
177
00:11:46,336 --> 00:11:48,204
They're from Poland.
178
00:11:57,681 --> 00:12:00,783
That would
make you Polish then, huh?
179
00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:02,151
Yeah.
180
00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:11,260
Anything interesting
in the paper?
Yeah.
181
00:12:11,328 --> 00:12:14,730
Two hundred arrested
at a Vietnam day
peace demonstration.
182
00:12:14,798 --> 00:12:17,867
Two hundred. They
should've thrown the whole
bunch of them in the can.
183
00:12:17,935 --> 00:12:20,703
Look at that picture there.
Here they are.
184
00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:23,973
Throwing all kinds
of junk and "deebris"
at officers of the law.
185
00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:25,975
Desecrating
on the American flag.
186
00:12:26,043 --> 00:12:28,177
What the hell do them
peaceniks want anyhow?
187
00:12:28,245 --> 00:12:31,547
Well, I think they just
don't like the idea...
188
00:12:31,614 --> 00:12:35,484
Of america fighting
an illegal and immoral war.
189
00:12:35,552 --> 00:12:38,687
Well, if they
don't like it,
they can lump it.
190
00:12:40,157 --> 00:12:42,591
Take it down the road
and dump it.
191
00:12:45,762 --> 00:12:48,331
You're saying,
"america, love it or leave it"?
192
00:12:48,398 --> 00:12:52,869
That's right.
It's a free country,
so amscray.
193
00:12:52,936 --> 00:12:55,604
Well, that would
include me too, Mr. Bunker.
194
00:12:55,672 --> 00:12:58,140
Then toodle-oo
to you too.
195
00:12:59,576 --> 00:13:01,677
What would our leaving solve?
196
00:13:01,745 --> 00:13:04,947
With or without protests,
this country would still
have the same problems.
197
00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,682
What problems?
198
00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:10,052
The war, the racial problem,
the economic problem,
the pollution problem.
199
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,889
Come on.
If you wanna nitpick--
200
00:13:12,956 --> 00:13:16,558
nitpick? Let me tell you
something, Mr. Bunker.
201
00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:21,630
Let me tell you
something, Mr. Stivic.
You are a meathead.
202
00:13:21,698 --> 00:13:26,068
- What did you call me?
- A meathead.
Dead from the neck up.
203
00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:28,170
Meathead.
204
00:13:28,238 --> 00:13:31,740
Yeah, now I see what your idea
of a free country is.
205
00:13:31,808 --> 00:13:34,743
You're free to say
anything you want, but
if anyone disagrees with you,
206
00:13:34,811 --> 00:13:36,946
they're thrown into jail
or called a meathead, right?
207
00:13:37,014 --> 00:13:40,316
That's right,
'cause this is america,
land that I love.
208
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:44,387
I love it too,
and it's because I do, I protest
when I think things are wrong.
209
00:13:44,454 --> 00:13:46,022
Then stand
beside her...
210
00:13:46,089 --> 00:13:47,623
And guide her...
211
00:13:47,690 --> 00:13:50,092
The right to dissent
is the principle upon
which this country is based.
212
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,328
Through the night
with the light from above.
213
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:55,097
It's in the bill of rights.
From the mountains
to the prairies,
214
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:58,634
why do you think
we broke away from England
in the first place?
215
00:13:58,701 --> 00:14:01,670
To the oceans,
white with foam.
We demanded freedom.
216
00:14:01,738 --> 00:14:03,605
It's guys like you
who don't listen to reason.
217
00:14:03,673 --> 00:14:06,008
God bless america,
you're not listening
to anything.
218
00:14:06,076 --> 00:14:09,345
You dumb Polack,
you're prejudice!
You're prejudice!
219
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,680
My home sweet home.
220
00:14:11,748 --> 00:14:14,383
I'm leaving!
� god bless america �
221
00:14:14,451 --> 00:14:16,718
you're prejudice!
222
00:14:16,786 --> 00:14:18,720
Archie!
Get away from me.
223
00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:27,563
� My home sweet home �
224
00:14:29,899 --> 00:14:32,368
you were wrong.
Why can't you just admit it?
225
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,703
The one thing I don't
remember about that night...
226
00:14:34,771 --> 00:14:38,740
Is how you got back
into this house
after I threw you out.
227
00:14:38,808 --> 00:14:41,944
Will you stop fooling around
and get yourself a fork?
228
00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:46,349
Archie, you never threw me out.
I walked out.
229
00:14:46,416 --> 00:14:49,118
That's right. He went down
to the corner drugstore...
230
00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:51,220
And phoned me
I don't know
how many times.
231
00:14:51,288 --> 00:14:55,224
Every time I phoned,
he hung up on me,
saying it was the wrong number.
232
00:15:00,364 --> 00:15:02,365
Wrong number.
233
00:15:02,432 --> 00:15:06,969
That was the third wrong number
in the last 10 minutes.
It's Michael, isn't it?
234
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:10,739
What do you want
with that guy, Gloria?
He's a loser. Forget him.
235
00:15:10,807 --> 00:15:13,742
I wanna marry that loser.
236
00:15:17,914 --> 00:15:20,916
- You what?
- You heard me.
237
00:15:20,984 --> 00:15:23,785
No. Are you kidding me?
238
00:15:23,853 --> 00:15:27,223
A girl waits around
all her life for Mr. Right
to come along,
239
00:15:27,290 --> 00:15:30,493
and now she settles
for Mr. Wrong-ski.
240
00:15:33,763 --> 00:15:37,666
I'm gonna marry him, daddy,
no matter what you say
about him.
241
00:15:37,734 --> 00:15:41,370
You can do anything you
want to try to stop me.
242
00:15:41,438 --> 00:15:44,140
That's for me.
I'll get that.
243
00:15:44,207 --> 00:15:46,142
Michael, darling, I love you.
244
00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:48,144
I'm sorry about what happened
between you and daddy,
245
00:15:48,211 --> 00:15:51,880
and I'm sorry you haven't
been able to get through
to me, and I'm sorry...
246
00:15:51,948 --> 00:15:55,051
That I called you "sweetheart,"
Mr. Kelsey.
247
00:15:57,020 --> 00:15:59,255
Yes, I'll tell him.
248
00:15:59,322 --> 00:16:02,791
Okay. Yeah. Good-bye.
249
00:16:02,859 --> 00:16:04,726
I knew
that wasn't for you.
250
00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:07,229
That was Kelsey down
at the bar, right?
Yes.
251
00:16:07,297 --> 00:16:10,499
He's coming over Friday
to watch the fights
with you and me like always.
252
00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:13,502
Right, daddy. Now, listen--
it's gonna be some
fight Friday night.
253
00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:15,904
Raphael Salazar
versus gaspar ruiz.
254
00:16:15,972 --> 00:16:19,542
With a couple of names
like that, the tackle
meat's really gonna fly.
255
00:16:19,609 --> 00:16:21,677
Daddy, I'm trying
to tell you something
about Michael and me.
256
00:16:21,744 --> 00:16:24,947
You know what
makes them mexi-canos such
great scrappers in the ring?
257
00:16:25,014 --> 00:16:26,949
It's from growing up
16 in a family.
258
00:16:27,016 --> 00:16:30,586
They got to fight
over the one bowl
of refried beans.
259
00:16:30,653 --> 00:16:33,289
Hey, put 'em up. See if
you remember anything...
260
00:16:33,356 --> 00:16:35,291
I taught you
with your Dukes, huh?
261
00:16:35,358 --> 00:16:39,027
Come on. Put 'em up.
Daddy, cut that out.
Daddy, don't.
262
00:16:39,096 --> 00:16:40,862
Look out.
Stop it.
263
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:44,400
Daddy, I'm too old for this now.
I'm not your little girl
anymore.
264
00:16:47,504 --> 00:16:49,938
Don't you never tell me that.
265
00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:54,977
There's another man in my life.
266
00:16:56,779 --> 00:16:59,615
Whether you wanna
hear it or not,
267
00:16:59,682 --> 00:17:02,918
I love Michael,
and I'm gonna marry him,
268
00:17:02,986 --> 00:17:06,555
even though he may never wish
to set foot in this house again.
269
00:17:06,623 --> 00:17:08,890
I don't wanna see him
in this house no more.
270
00:17:11,194 --> 00:17:15,764
Whenever anyone used
to ask me what kind of a guy
I wanted my daughter to marry,
271
00:17:15,832 --> 00:17:18,334
I always said I don't care,
272
00:17:18,401 --> 00:17:21,337
as long as she loves him
and he's white.
273
00:17:24,574 --> 00:17:29,545
I'm adding a third condition.
He can't be that stivic guy.
Case is closed.
274
00:17:31,181 --> 00:17:33,849
Ma! Ma!
275
00:17:34,851 --> 00:17:37,319
What it is, Gloria?
276
00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:40,656
How could everything
go so wrong?
277
00:17:40,723 --> 00:17:42,891
Easy.
278
00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:48,464
But life goes in circles,
279
00:17:48,532 --> 00:17:50,633
and when things
get wrong enough,
280
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,035
then they start
getting right again.
281
00:17:53,102 --> 00:17:55,037
I don't
believe that, ma.
282
00:17:55,104 --> 00:17:57,640
Okay, but I'm still
basting the duck,
283
00:17:57,707 --> 00:18:01,843
'cause if it's true,
I figure Mike will be back.
284
00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:04,980
He's back.
You were right, ma.
285
00:18:05,048 --> 00:18:08,184
Dry your eyes.
Oh, yeah.
Baste. Baste.
286
00:18:12,055 --> 00:18:14,690
I thought there was
somebody at the door.
287
00:18:19,796 --> 00:18:22,198
It's Michael out there,
isn't it?
288
00:18:22,265 --> 00:18:25,467
There's a beard out there
with a nobody under it.
289
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,469
Ma!
290
00:18:29,005 --> 00:18:32,541
Michael!
Gloria, I tried calling, but
he kept hanging up on me.
291
00:18:32,609 --> 00:18:34,876
Now that you're here,
you're coming in, aren't you?
292
00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:37,979
No, I'm not coming in.
He just slammed
the door in my face.
293
00:18:38,047 --> 00:18:39,481
Michael, don't go.
294
00:18:39,549 --> 00:18:44,853
Archie, please
let him come back in.
He's really a very nice boy.
295
00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:47,155
Nice boy?
What do you
mean nice boy?
296
00:18:47,224 --> 00:18:49,291
After he done what he done.
He coming in here...
297
00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,060
And making
suppository remarks
about his country.
298
00:18:55,998 --> 00:18:58,534
Then on top of that,
he's calling me prejudice.
299
00:18:58,602 --> 00:19:03,171
Prejudice. While i'm
singing "god bless america,"
300
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:07,643
written by a well-known,
highly respectable
Jewish guy, Milton Berlin.
301
00:19:09,045 --> 00:19:10,979
He's the kind of guy...
302
00:19:11,047 --> 00:19:13,915
Who thinks that patriotism
is waving flags around
and singing songs...
303
00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:15,917
Like "I'm a yankee
doodle dandy."
304
00:19:15,985 --> 00:19:20,656
Written by George m. Cohan,
another one of your decent
hebes we're proud of.
305
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,791
I don't have
to stand for that.
306
00:19:22,859 --> 00:19:26,094
Michael, no. You stay.
Archie, he's leaving.
307
00:19:26,162 --> 00:19:30,132
If you let him leave,
I'll-I'll-I'll--
I'll-I'll-I'll what?
308
00:19:30,199 --> 00:19:33,736
- I'll do something terrible.
- Like what?
309
00:19:33,803 --> 00:19:35,738
I have to think about it.
310
00:19:37,374 --> 00:19:40,175
But I will!
311
00:19:40,243 --> 00:19:42,778
I can't talk to you now.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
I got to go.
312
00:19:42,845 --> 00:19:46,948
Mike, please stay.
Archie, please,
ask him back in.
313
00:19:47,016 --> 00:19:49,351
That nice dinner
is gonna go to waste.
314
00:19:49,419 --> 00:19:51,987
No, it won't, Edith.
We can eat it.
315
00:19:52,054 --> 00:19:55,691
Archie, please.
Do it for me.
No. No.
316
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:59,495
Archie,
I never ask for much.
317
00:19:59,562 --> 00:20:02,798
Please. For me?
318
00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:10,972
All right, Edith.
319
00:20:12,709 --> 00:20:15,644
Let him in, Gloria,
but just for dinner.
320
00:20:15,712 --> 00:20:19,682
You give him
one plate of that duck
and then throw him out.
321
00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:22,384
Thank you, Archie.
322
00:20:22,452 --> 00:20:26,054
Michael, just
come in and sit down
and have a nice dinner.
323
00:20:26,122 --> 00:20:28,691
All right.
I'll have dinner.
324
00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:32,494
But I don't wanna talk to him.
Tell him it'll be
my pleasure.
325
00:20:32,562 --> 00:20:35,864
Sit right down there
and we'll go get the dinner.
326
00:20:35,932 --> 00:20:38,534
Stay right there.
We'll be right back.
327
00:21:02,959 --> 00:21:07,996
Now, we're gonna start
with a nice crabmeat cocktail.
328
00:21:08,064 --> 00:21:12,468
Then we're gonna have
a delicious roast duckling
that Gloria helped me cook.
329
00:21:12,535 --> 00:21:16,705
- Oh, ma.
- Now, start right in.
Don't wait for us.
330
00:21:23,713 --> 00:21:26,715
Well, um,
331
00:21:26,783 --> 00:21:30,552
daddy, Michael's
a big baseball fan.
He follows the mets like you.
332
00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:36,425
- Is that so?
- He says the mets are gonna
win the pennant this year.
333
00:21:36,493 --> 00:21:40,362
The mets ain't gonna
win no pennant for ten,
twenty years, if then.
334
00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:43,031
- Remember where you heard that.
- I don't know.
335
00:21:43,099 --> 00:21:47,068
They got great pitching.
They got koosman and seaver
and a fantastic bench...
336
00:21:47,136 --> 00:21:49,872
And that great platoon system
of Gil Hodges.
337
00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:53,275
You know something
about baseball, huh?
338
00:21:53,342 --> 00:21:56,612
- Yeah. I really love the game.
- Well, so do I.
339
00:21:57,914 --> 00:22:00,482
I bet you seen a lot
of the great ones, huh?
340
00:22:00,550 --> 00:22:02,651
Yeah. Seen 'em all.
341
00:22:02,719 --> 00:22:06,955
Ruth, gehrig, hubbell.
All of them. Way before
your time, of course.
342
00:22:07,023 --> 00:22:09,558
Yeah, the game's changed a lot
since them days.
343
00:22:09,626 --> 00:22:11,126
Live ball.
344
00:22:11,193 --> 00:22:13,595
Live ball,
the expansion clubs.
345
00:22:13,663 --> 00:22:17,065
Then, of course,
the biggest change
of all-- 1947.
346
00:22:20,169 --> 00:22:22,103
1947?
347
00:22:22,171 --> 00:22:26,708
Yeah. That was the year
they let Jackie Robinson
into the majors.
348
00:22:26,776 --> 00:22:29,711
Changed the whole
complexion of the game.
349
00:22:31,113 --> 00:22:33,415
In more ways than one.
350
00:22:33,483 --> 00:22:35,784
What do you mean by that?
We're about ready
for the duck now.
351
00:22:35,852 --> 00:22:38,219
Wait a second.
What do you mean by that?
352
00:22:38,287 --> 00:22:42,691
It threw the whole game
out of balance,
letting Robinson in.
353
00:22:42,759 --> 00:22:44,693
You're saying that
the inferior black race...
354
00:22:44,761 --> 00:22:47,228
Should not be given
a chance alongside
the superior white race?
355
00:22:47,296 --> 00:22:51,733
Hold it, Mr. Liberal meathead.
I never said nothing about
your inferior black race.
356
00:22:51,801 --> 00:22:53,735
If you just let me finish.
357
00:22:53,803 --> 00:22:57,238
- Daddy.
- Just the opposite,
if you let me finish.
358
00:22:57,306 --> 00:23:00,576
All I'm saying is,
your coloreds is,
as is well-known--
359
00:23:00,643 --> 00:23:04,480
they run faster,
they jump higher,
they don't bruise so easy.
360
00:23:06,282 --> 00:23:09,751
And because
of their jungle heritage,
they see better.
361
00:23:09,819 --> 00:23:13,922
- It's great for night games.
- You know something,
Mr. Bunker?
362
00:23:13,990 --> 00:23:15,924
At first I thought
I misjudged you.
363
00:23:15,992 --> 00:23:18,594
And I was right.
I did misjudge you.
364
00:23:18,661 --> 00:23:20,596
You're a lot more ignorant
than I thought.
365
00:23:23,466 --> 00:23:28,303
You hear what he called me?
Ignorant. Well, let me
tell you something.
366
00:23:28,371 --> 00:23:31,272
Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
367
00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:34,009
but you are
one dumb Polack.
368
00:23:34,076 --> 00:23:37,813
That does it. That does it.
I don't care
what we talked about.
369
00:23:37,881 --> 00:23:42,017
There's no way
I can spend four years
in this house with this man.
370
00:23:42,084 --> 00:23:43,785
What did I just hear?
371
00:23:43,853 --> 00:23:46,922
If you're gonna continue
school after we get married,
372
00:23:46,990 --> 00:23:48,924
you're gonna have
to live here.
373
00:23:48,992 --> 00:23:53,028
What did I just hear?
You're gonna get married
and live with us?
374
00:23:53,095 --> 00:23:57,032
I know that's what we planned,
but if I spend four years
with him, I'm gonna go nuts.
375
00:23:57,099 --> 00:24:01,036
Tell me what I just heard.
Michael, I just don't
see it any other way.
376
00:24:01,103 --> 00:24:03,705
What the hell
is going on here?
377
00:24:03,773 --> 00:24:07,843
They're gonna get married
and live with us.
378
00:24:07,911 --> 00:24:10,946
And what am I
supposed to do,
join the Navy?
379
00:24:14,283 --> 00:24:18,053
Archie, you know how you've
always prayed for a son.
380
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:20,856
Well, now your prayer
has been answered.
381
00:24:20,924 --> 00:24:23,525
The good lord
must have heard you.
382
00:24:23,593 --> 00:24:28,063
In 49 years
he answers one prayer,
and this is it? Oh, no!
383
00:24:39,909 --> 00:24:42,110
Happy anniversary.
384
00:24:42,178 --> 00:24:44,112
Thanks, ma.
Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary.
385
00:24:49,251 --> 00:24:51,186
Ah, geez.
386
00:24:52,689 --> 00:24:55,423
Ain't that sweet, Archie?
387
00:24:55,491 --> 00:24:57,893
Come on, Edith.
Cut the cake.
388
00:24:57,961 --> 00:25:02,130
Oh, I can't. They got
to blow out the candle first.
389
00:25:05,534 --> 00:25:09,571
What did you do that for?
It's our cake.
390
00:25:26,823 --> 00:25:31,026
All in the family was recordedon tape before a live audience.
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