All language subtitles for Up Pompeii. - S1E1 - Vestal virgins

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:18,430 www.titlovi.com 2 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:25,218 All right, all right. I'm going to clean it. I'm going to clean it. 3 00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:28,222 Keep all on. I must say, they drive me around the bend. 4 00:00:28,390 --> 00:00:32,269 All right. Greetings, citizens, greetings. 5 00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:34,789 The prologue. 6 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:40,104 Now, today is a big public holiday in Pompeii, a big public holiday. 7 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:44,149 It is the Festival of the Vestal Virgins, 8 00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,782 or commonly known as VV day. 9 00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,224 Now, please. Now, please, don't mess about. 10 00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:55,541 Oh, don't lower the tone of it already. 11 00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:56,619 Now. 12 00:00:57,550 --> 00:01:00,906 VV day. Now, every year at this time, 13 00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,585 we choose a maiden from among our womenfolk, 14 00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:07,299 a maiden who is pure in mind and body, 15 00:01:07,630 --> 00:01:10,508 a maiden upon whose fair skin 16 00:01:10,590 --> 00:01:13,343 man's hand has never set foot. 17 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:22,221 Now, this lucky girl will receive a prize 18 00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:28,340 and she will be crowned Miss Miracle of BC 72. 19 00:01:28,710 --> 00:01:33,101 Now, the prize she gets will consist of 1,000 drachmas, a week's holiday in Rome, 20 00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:35,260 and a night out with Mark Antony. 21 00:01:36,390 --> 00:01:39,587 Now, if after this, her status is unchanged, 22 00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:42,068 she will return home, 23 00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:46,103 and she will join the other vestal virgins 24 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,339 in the temple. 25 00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:50,826 And I'm sure the both of them will be glad to receive her. 26 00:01:52,470 --> 00:01:55,064 Now, in BC 72... 27 00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:57,823 - Lurcio, Lurcio, Lurcio! - I was just working myself up, then. 28 00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:59,548 Oh, yes, master? 29 00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:03,060 Yes. Yes. Calm down, now. 30 00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:07,982 - I'm all out of breath. - You're what? You're what, sir? 31 00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:11,460 - I'm all out of breath. - I know, you're coming in short pants. 32 00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:15,619 He is. That's not a gag. That's not a gag. Look, he is. Look. 33 00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:18,508 He should be wearing his long ones this time of the year. 34 00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:21,821 There's a cold wind seething round the acropolis. 35 00:02:21,910 --> 00:02:24,504 - No, listen, Lurcio. Listen. - Yes, oh dear. Don't... Listen. 36 00:02:24,590 --> 00:02:26,501 Now, calm, master. Oh, dear. 37 00:02:26,590 --> 00:02:31,106 See, he upsets himself. That's the trouble. - No, listen, Lurcio, listen. 38 00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:33,146 - Listen. - Look, sit down, master. 39 00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,744 No, look, go make yourselves a cup of coffee or something. 40 00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:37,661 He may go on like this for hours. 41 00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:40,947 - I'll call out when he's ready. - Listen. No, no... 42 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:43,949 Oh, dear. 43 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,702 Have a good wheeze. 44 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:50,420 He could do with a good wheeze about this time. Actually, no, poor old devil, no. 45 00:02:50,510 --> 00:02:53,422 No, the trouble is, you see, he's been overdoing it. 46 00:02:53,510 --> 00:02:56,661 Or perhaps I should say, he's been over-trying to do it. 47 00:02:58,790 --> 00:03:01,145 No, the thing is, he's got this burden, 48 00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:04,028 he's got this additional burden because he's been made 49 00:03:04,110 --> 00:03:08,900 the chairman of the committee that's got to select these vestal virgins, you see, 50 00:03:08,990 --> 00:03:10,389 and he's past it. 51 00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,740 Oh, I mean, he's still... He's still got an eye, 52 00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:14,343 he still looks at a pretty girl, 53 00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:17,149 but, you know, there's no fire in his eyes, 54 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,346 they're all bunged up with clinker. 55 00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:22,985 What he needs is a good riddle. 56 00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:26,744 - Better, now, Lurcio. - Ah, master. 57 00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:29,981 - Oh, Lurcio, I shall need your help. - Yes, master. 58 00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:35,019 Well, you see, the master of ceremonies for the Festival of the Vestal Virgins 59 00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:36,829 - hasn't turned up. - Oh, dear. 60 00:03:36,910 --> 00:03:40,061 - There's nobody to introduce things. - Oh. 61 00:03:40,390 --> 00:03:42,506 You will have to do it, Lurcio. 62 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,740 Well, I can't do it, master. I'm just going to do the prologue. 63 00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:47,264 Oh, well, I can't help that. This is far more important. 64 00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:51,025 - Oh. - Damnation! Damnation! 65 00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:53,624 Oh, it's that dreary soothsayer. 66 00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:56,144 Woe, woe! 67 00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:58,505 Poor soul, she's lost her horse. Whoa. 68 00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:01,508 Oh, what a dreary woman. What does she want? 69 00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:04,184 I don't know. I know what she's likely to get, master. 70 00:04:04,270 --> 00:04:08,104 Woe is me. I have come hotfoot from the temple. 71 00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:11,865 Yes, so I can tell. Yes, I shall stand upwind of you now. 72 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,185 The gods have given me a sign. 73 00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:18,548 Yes, they've given us one too, dear. "No soothsaying this side." 74 00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:21,224 So please sooth off. Would you mind? 75 00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:23,619 The festival is doomed! 76 00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:27,180 No virgin will be found in Pompeii this day, 77 00:04:27,270 --> 00:04:29,226 and the gods will be angry. 78 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,586 Fire and brimstone will rain down on the city, 79 00:04:32,670 --> 00:04:35,230 the very ground will tremble, 80 00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:38,700 and all shall perish in the destruction. 81 00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:41,748 And that is the end of the weather forecast. 82 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,183 Woe, woe, woe! 83 00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:47,022 Oh, silly old bag. 84 00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:51,860 She is. Mind you... Well, she can't help it, because she's had this... 85 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:56,546 She had this very unhappy marriage, you know. Oh, yes. Her husband was a centaur. 86 00:04:56,630 --> 00:05:00,589 A centaur, that's... Wait a minute and find out what it is. 87 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:04,500 'Cause you could be wrong. In fact, you are, missus. 88 00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:08,549 Now, listen. A centaur is half man, half horse. 89 00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:13,266 And, you see, unfortunately with her, poor soul, the top half was horse. 90 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,945 No, don't laugh. It's not funny, 91 00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:19,067 because when he got the bit between his teeth, 92 00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:23,826 there was no stopping him. And he wasn't particular which bit of her it was, either. 93 00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:27,141 Lurcio, Lurcio. What on earth was she talking about? 94 00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:30,700 No virgins to be found in all Pompeii? 95 00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:35,181 - Oh, why, it's absolute balderdash. - Oh, I've never heard dash so balder, yes. 96 00:05:35,270 --> 00:05:39,900 I can think of quite a number. Well, there's my friend Catulus' daughter. 97 00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:42,788 - Oh, a delightful child. - Yes. 98 00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,667 Master, she's... The only thing is, she's... 99 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,986 - No, no! - Yes. Definitely. 100 00:05:48,070 --> 00:05:49,549 - Tut, tut, tut, tut. - Yes. 101 00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:51,541 Oh, bags of tut, in the catacombs. 102 00:05:51,630 --> 00:05:53,780 Oh, no! Tut, tut, tut, tut. 103 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:57,749 Oh, well, there's that fair girl that lives down the road. 104 00:05:57,830 --> 00:06:02,381 - Do you know, the one with the big... - But she's also got a big... You see. 105 00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:06,221 Yes, also down the catacombs. It's rife. It's rife. -Oh, no. Tut, tut, tut, tut. 106 00:06:06,310 --> 00:06:08,266 Oh, no. What a terrible thing. 107 00:06:08,350 --> 00:06:12,821 Oh, well, anyway, I'm sure there will be plenty of contestants when the day arrives. 108 00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:14,707 - Yes. - And anyway, we mustn't forget 109 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:17,258 my dear daughter, Erotica. 110 00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:19,944 Oh, no. No, don't forget her. Don't worry. 111 00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:21,782 She mustn't be overlooked, you know. 112 00:06:21,870 --> 00:06:24,623 Oh, don't worry, she hasn't been overlooked, believe me. 113 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:26,143 Oh, quite, quite. 114 00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:28,266 Oh, oh, Lurcio. Is that the time? 115 00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:31,547 Well, it's a bit fast, but it's more or less... -Well, I must make haste. 116 00:06:31,630 --> 00:06:35,259 Yes, master. Master, look. Must I do this job? 117 00:06:35,350 --> 00:06:38,501 Couldn't... I'm sure the real emcee will turn up. 118 00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:42,822 No, not a chance. 'Tis said his ship is foundered on the rocks. 119 00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:45,708 Oh, master. No, the coast is clear, isn't it? 120 00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:49,180 - What's that? - I said, the coast is clear, isn't it? 121 00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:51,147 Why, yes, come on up. 122 00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,182 Isn't it marvellous? 123 00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:57,979 A whole ship has to be destroyed so she can get a laugh on her entrance. 124 00:06:58,070 --> 00:07:01,142 - It's only you, dear. - Oh, my dear Ammonia, 125 00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:03,460 I trust you're ready for it. 126 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:07,989 Why, Ludicrus, you haven't said anything to me like that since our honeymoon. 127 00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:09,298 - Naughty. - What? 128 00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:13,383 Oh, no, no, no! No, no. I meant the Festival of the Vestal Virgins. 129 00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:15,540 You are coming, my dear, aren't you? 130 00:07:15,630 --> 00:07:18,383 - What? - As a spectator, mistress. 131 00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:21,547 Oh, yes, of course. I wouldn't miss that for anything. 132 00:07:21,630 --> 00:07:23,666 Good! Good, my dear. 133 00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:28,540 Ah, me. I can remember the year I was chosen. 134 00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:30,621 What a remarkable memory. 135 00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:32,905 There's not many people that can remember things 136 00:07:32,990 --> 00:07:34,867 that happened in their early childhood. 137 00:07:34,950 --> 00:07:39,262 Let's face it... Not that I'm suggesting that she was promiscuous. Oh, no. 138 00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:42,660 But it's no secret that she was known all around as Madeira 139 00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:44,741 because she was a piece of cake. 140 00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:47,869 The prologue. 141 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:51,022 - Ah, we'll rest here for a minute. - Hello. 142 00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:53,421 Hello, hello. 143 00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:54,625 Now. 144 00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:57,101 You see that dark one there? 145 00:07:57,390 --> 00:07:59,267 Now, that is Noxious. 146 00:07:59,350 --> 00:08:02,945 Noxious, he's the keeper of the Ludi Puerorum club. 147 00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:04,941 That's "Boy of the Play" club. 148 00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:10,189 Funny place. 149 00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:13,707 The girls there all walk around topless. Topless! 150 00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:17,669 Oh, yes. If you want to play, you have to bring your own top. 151 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,143 Thank you! 152 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:25,628 Yes. Now, the other one next to him, there, 153 00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:28,383 the pretty, plump one, now, he's Piteous. 154 00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:30,506 Here, what are we waiting for? 155 00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:34,503 You're wrong, it's a man. Well, give a little, take a little. 156 00:08:34,590 --> 00:08:37,184 The thing was... No, listen, you see, it's a sad story, 157 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:39,465 because he was in this war in Britannicus, 158 00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:43,828 and unfortunately, he got a bit too close to Boadicea's chariot, 159 00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:46,670 and it cut off his retreat. And he's... You know, he's... 160 00:08:48,030 --> 00:08:52,865 Hello. They're up to no good, I'll be bound. I must tell my master, Ludicrus. 161 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:55,145 - Ask him. - Excuse me. 162 00:08:55,270 --> 00:08:57,022 - Pardon? - Excuse me. 163 00:08:57,110 --> 00:09:00,739 - Yes? - Is this the house of Ludicrus Sextus? 164 00:09:00,830 --> 00:09:02,229 Yes, it is the house. 165 00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:03,982 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 166 00:09:04,070 --> 00:09:06,265 He's got a funny voice, hasn't he? 167 00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:12,346 I was just trying to be tactful, wasn't I? I was trying to make him feel one of us. 168 00:09:12,430 --> 00:09:14,944 It's the last time I shall help the underprivileged. 169 00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:17,260 - Lurcio! - Yes, master. 170 00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:19,466 Oh, dear. I hope it's not catching. 171 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:24,221 Ah, so that's where that old fool Ludicrus lives. 172 00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:28,861 You mean the senator that wants to abolish all bawdy houses like yours? 173 00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:31,510 Yes, but, please, try not to talk so much, 174 00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:33,581 you might strain something else. 175 00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:36,827 Oh, I am going to get even with him today. 176 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:41,108 I am going to make of him the laughing stock of the whole of the Roman Empire. 177 00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,345 How? 178 00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:46,981 Well, you know that he is responsible for selecting this year's vestal virgin. 179 00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:50,187 - Yes. - Well, I have discovered that so far, 180 00:09:50,270 --> 00:09:53,706 there are only two competitors entered for it. -Yes. 181 00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:59,268 Well, what I have done, I have paid them to keep away, see? 182 00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:02,183 And I've got two of my girls to take their place. 183 00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:05,825 But if they're your girls, they won't be virgins. 184 00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:09,903 I know that, you old fool! That's the whole point. 185 00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:13,187 When those two girls get up on that platform... 186 00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:15,984 Ah, never mind. Come on. 187 00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:19,983 - Lurcio, Lurcio. - Yes, mistress. Coming, mistress. 188 00:10:20,070 --> 00:10:22,425 I have need of your services. 189 00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:24,785 - Oh. - Lurcio, Lurcio. 190 00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:27,338 Lurcio, I tell you. I tell you. I tell you... 191 00:10:27,430 --> 00:10:29,148 Yes, calm, master. 192 00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:31,028 I tell you. I tell... 193 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:33,829 We shall never finish this show at this rate, will we? 194 00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:37,664 I can't... I can't... I can't find Erotica anywhere. 195 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:40,662 - She's not in her room. - Oh, well, perhaps... 196 00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:44,220 Perhaps she hasn't returned home yet, master. -Oh, what time did she go out? 197 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,380 - Yesterday evening. - Yesterday evening? 198 00:10:46,470 --> 00:10:47,823 You see, it is catching, you see. 199 00:10:47,910 --> 00:10:49,662 "Yesterday"... Up high, there. 200 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,583 You mean our daughter has been out all night? 201 00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:54,820 It's all perfectly innocent, Ludicrus. 202 00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:59,859 She went on one of those night excursions to Vesuvius to see the red hot lava flow. 203 00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:02,779 Oh, yes. You know who with, don't you? 204 00:11:02,990 --> 00:11:05,140 That young gladiator, Stupendous. 205 00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,942 And you won't... 206 00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:12,508 You won't find a bigger red-hot lava than him, I'm telling you. 207 00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,865 Well, I can't wait any longer. No. 208 00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:19,148 I must get down to the Forum. You better wait for Erotica and bring her. 209 00:11:19,230 --> 00:11:21,983 Yes, I do so want her to enter 210 00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:25,619 for the Festival of the Vestal Virgins, you know. 211 00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:28,178 - Come along, Lurcio. Come along. - Yes, yes. 212 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,988 - Lurcio. - Yes, mistress. 213 00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:33,028 - Come and sit here a minute. - Yes, mistress. 214 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:36,659 I don't want you to let Erotica enter for the competition. 215 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:39,025 - What, for the virgin competition? - No, I don't. 216 00:11:39,110 --> 00:11:42,386 I don't really think she's suited to that sort of thing, do you? 217 00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:46,224 Oh, no, definitely not. I mean, she's lost... She's lost the... 218 00:11:46,310 --> 00:11:48,983 She hasn't... Well, I mean, what's the word? 219 00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:52,904 She's... She hasn't got the... 220 00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:57,541 She no longer has the...competitive spirit. 221 00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:02,146 Exactly. Well, it isn't that I don't trust her, of course. 222 00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:04,061 Oh, no. Oh, no. 223 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:07,699 No, but, well, then, she does know an awful lot of young gladiators, 224 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:10,623 and I know what winning ways they have. 225 00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:14,385 Hear now the wise words of Plautus. 226 00:12:14,470 --> 00:12:17,303 It is a well-known fact, that if all the girls 227 00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:19,858 who went out with Roman gladiators 228 00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,861 were laid end-to-end, 229 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,020 no one would be at all surprised. 230 00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:43,548 Eyes down for a full domicile. 231 00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:50,143 Moon and sun, 31. 232 00:12:50,230 --> 00:12:53,188 Moon and sun, 31. 233 00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:56,508 Horn of plenty, number 20. 234 00:12:56,590 --> 00:12:59,900 Horn of plenty, number 20. 235 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:02,789 Scots and Picts, 66. 236 00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:05,145 - Scots and Picts... - Eureka! 237 00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:07,539 Eureka! 238 00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:09,262 Blessings, my son. 239 00:13:09,350 --> 00:13:12,103 You have won a Grecian urn. 240 00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:15,421 - What's a Grecian urn? - Five drachmas a day. 241 00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:17,619 What... 242 00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:21,420 What do you mean it's an old gag? 243 00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:24,419 It was new in these days, remember that. 244 00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:26,785 Folks, we've come to the main event of the day. 245 00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:29,259 Yes, it's VV time! 246 00:13:31,590 --> 00:13:34,058 Judged this year by your own... 247 00:13:34,150 --> 00:13:37,222 Your very own Senator Ludicrus Sextus. 248 00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:45,179 And introduced by that well-known slave about town, Lurcio! 249 00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:53,225 And for you, Lurcio, tonight opportunatus knockus. 250 00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:59,264 Well, he's got a better part than I have. It's not right, you know. 251 00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:03,025 It's a better part than I've got. Now, thank you for that tumultuous welcome. 252 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:08,389 May I now introduce the virgin competitors for this festival. 253 00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:11,820 Will you please mount...er, the daeus? 254 00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:19,428 Only two? This is virgin on the ridiculous. 255 00:14:19,670 --> 00:14:20,659 "Virgin"... 256 00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:23,180 Please yourselves. All right. 257 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:25,738 Will the first competitor please step forward? 258 00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:28,708 That's it, now, don't be shy. Don't be shy. 259 00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:33,943 Now, tell me... 260 00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:35,782 What is your name? 261 00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:37,064 Tittea. 262 00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:39,266 Tittea. How do you spell that? 263 00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:41,022 - With two "T's"... - Oh. 264 00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:42,623 ...but they're not pronounced. 265 00:14:42,710 --> 00:14:44,268 - Pardon? - They're not pronounced. 266 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,341 Oh, I wouldn't say that. 267 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,381 Now, Tittea. Tittea. 268 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:54,066 I want you to say, truthfully and honestly... 269 00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:55,742 Answer a question. 270 00:14:55,830 --> 00:15:00,426 Now, are you pure and mind of... Ah, I'll say it again... 271 00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,782 Do that bit again. 272 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,987 Now... It's a lot to learn all this, you know. 273 00:15:08,350 --> 00:15:11,422 Now... It's putting me off... Turn that way, darling. 274 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,581 No bra or anything. 275 00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:18,740 Now, tell me, Tittea... 276 00:15:19,430 --> 00:15:21,898 No, that's not right. It's not. 277 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,306 Take seven. 278 00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,786 Now, tell me, Tittea... 279 00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:33,228 Now, tell me, are you pure in mind and body? 280 00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:35,781 Of course I am. 281 00:15:40,030 --> 00:15:44,023 - What on earth's happening? - Oh, that witch was right, you see? 282 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,385 The gods are angry because the girl lied. 283 00:15:46,470 --> 00:15:50,099 Down with Ludicrus! Get him out of the Senate! 284 00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:51,782 Down with Ludicrus! 285 00:15:51,870 --> 00:15:54,430 Oh, now, please. Let us deport ourselves with decorum. 286 00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:57,582 Oh, I'd like to deport you and Ludicrus. 287 00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:58,659 Deport! Deport! 288 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,059 Silence, silence, please. There's been some mistake. 289 00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:04,421 Will the second and last of the virgin competitors please step forward. 290 00:16:04,510 --> 00:16:09,026 As for you, go home and wash your mouth out with soap, you naughty Tittea. Go! 291 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,589 Forward, please. Now, don't be shy. 292 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:16,348 That's right. Now. Are you sure we've got the right ones? 293 00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,102 Well, I certainly hope so. 294 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:20,021 Right, you can stop your motor, dear. 295 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:21,463 Now, tell me... 296 00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:23,984 - Tell me, what's your name? - Virginia. 297 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,901 Oh, that sounds more hopeful, doesn't it? 298 00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:28,140 Right. Now, erm, tell me, now. 299 00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:31,939 Are you pure... No, erm... 300 00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:33,429 Let's rephrase this, shall we? 301 00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:34,863 Now, don't... Now, take your time. 302 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,622 I always do. 303 00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,468 Oh, yes. Now. 304 00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:42,747 Is the ought that you ought not to have ought... 305 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:46,505 Yes, and not been caught. No... 306 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:49,263 Is there ought that you were not to have done, 307 00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:52,183 had you been able to do it, but said no at the time? 308 00:16:52,270 --> 00:16:54,704 You see? Now, you have 30 seconds to answer. 309 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:58,100 Well, I don't need 30 seconds. I'm a good girl. 310 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:04,504 Down with Ludicrus! He's a fake! 311 00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:13,224 Oh, dear. 312 00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,299 Oh... 313 00:17:14,390 --> 00:17:16,301 Welcome to Dodge City. 314 00:17:17,110 --> 00:17:19,021 Oh, what a disgrace. 315 00:17:19,110 --> 00:17:23,342 My first year as chairman and not a virgin to be found. 316 00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:24,545 - Lurcio. - What? 317 00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:27,906 You must go straight back home and bring my dear daughter, Erotica. 318 00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,628 - Your daughter, Erotica? - Yes. 319 00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:31,063 What's the good of bringing her? 320 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,425 What do you mean what's the good of bringing her? 321 00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,148 Well, I mean, she's not a... I mean, she... 322 00:17:35,230 --> 00:17:37,664 Oh, how could I tell him? Poor old devil. I mean, it's a bit awkward. 323 00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:40,787 Come along. Come along, Lurcio. Speak up, speak up. 324 00:17:40,870 --> 00:17:42,906 Well, you see, look your daughter, Erotica... 325 00:17:42,990 --> 00:17:45,345 - Now, human nature being what it is... - Yes. 326 00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,739 - ...and after all, accidents will happen, you know. -Yes. 327 00:17:47,830 --> 00:17:50,583 Have you considered the possibility that she might not be... 328 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:53,184 - Yes! - ...at home? 329 00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:56,828 Well, in that case, find another virgin somewhere. 330 00:17:56,910 --> 00:18:00,789 I'll willingly pay 500 drachmas for one. 331 00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:02,701 500 drachmas. 332 00:18:03,110 --> 00:18:05,021 500 drachmas. 333 00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:08,308 Do you know, I could buy my freedom with 500 drachmas? 334 00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:09,618 Oh, dear. 335 00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:12,702 500 drachmas. Now, where to find one, though. 336 00:18:12,790 --> 00:18:15,782 The Virgin Islands. No, that's too far to go. 337 00:18:15,910 --> 00:18:18,947 Alice Springs. No, that's the trouble, she always does. 338 00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:23,704 Cork. No, that gag's been cut. 339 00:18:26,990 --> 00:18:30,744 I suppose one of you wouldn't care to volunteer, would you? 340 00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:33,742 Is there a virgin in the house? There must be one. 341 00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:36,583 There must be one, now. Yes? 342 00:18:36,790 --> 00:18:38,860 - No! No! - Eh? 343 00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:40,019 No, what? Why not? 344 00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:42,988 It is a well-known fact that in those days, 345 00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:47,507 audience participation was restricted solely to putting their thumbs up. 346 00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:52,260 Oh, dear, oh, dear. 347 00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:54,506 Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. 348 00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:56,148 What is the use? 349 00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:59,745 I've interviewed every female between here and the Forum. 350 00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:04,221 All I've got, so far, are ten peals of thunder and 20 latchkeys. 351 00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:08,826 I don't know what to do. I mean, you'd think, wouldn't you, 352 00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:12,983 there'd be someone pure in mind and body, even here. 353 00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:15,867 Oh, cruel, cruel world. 354 00:19:15,950 --> 00:19:17,429 Hello. 355 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:20,058 How dearly I would love to leave it. 356 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:22,823 Ah, now this is my master's son, Nausius. 357 00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:24,389 Nausius is a strange boy. 358 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:27,189 Oh, very strange. Likes to write poetry, that's his trouble. 359 00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:31,183 Doesn't know what he wants to be: He, she or it. Excuse me. 360 00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:34,468 Ah, young master, what's the matter? 361 00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:36,302 Oh, Lurcio, I'm desolate. 362 00:19:36,390 --> 00:19:37,459 - Are you? - Desolate. 363 00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:39,666 Why? What's amiss? 364 00:19:39,790 --> 00:19:41,303 A missus before marriage. 365 00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:43,460 "A missus before marriage." 366 00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:46,104 They get all the best lines. I must have this stopped, you know. 367 00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:48,420 - It's not right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - Oh, Lurcio. 368 00:19:48,510 --> 00:19:51,070 I met this most beautiful young maiden. 369 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:52,902 And now she pays me no heed. 370 00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,901 Pays you no heed? 371 00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:58,147 See, I've inscribed an ode to her. 372 00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:01,063 Yeah, well, I thought you might have done. Oh. 373 00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:03,660 "Ode To The Fair Malaria." 374 00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:07,700 What a pretty name. 375 00:20:08,070 --> 00:20:10,823 "Oh, how my heart turns over 376 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,378 When e'er I see her pass..." 377 00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:15,064 Oh, yes. 378 00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:17,578 Get ready. 379 00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:23,589 "Those lovely dimples in her cheeks 380 00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:26,184 And the others in her knees." 381 00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:31,422 - I was lost for a word to rhyme there. - Yes. 382 00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:35,468 You're the only one who was, I might say. 383 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:39,983 You see, you need more background material. There you are, sir. 384 00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:43,904 - Now she will have naught to do with me. - Ah, no wonder you're cross. 385 00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:46,504 You see, naughts, crosses. Naughts and crosses. 386 00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:49,582 Come on, don't doze off. Come on, keep awake. 387 00:20:49,670 --> 00:20:54,141 Do you know why she's given me up?-"No, why?" said he, turning into a straight man, 388 00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:57,381 for which I want to see the script writer after the show. 389 00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:00,903 Why did she give you up? 390 00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:03,709 Because I wouldn't do what she wanted me to. 391 00:21:03,790 --> 00:21:04,984 Ooh! 392 00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:09,507 And what did she want you to do, stop or not stop? 393 00:21:09,590 --> 00:21:11,820 - Oh, please don't joke about it, Lurcio. - Oh, I'm sorry. 394 00:21:11,910 --> 00:21:13,662 No, I don't understand girls. 395 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,706 - No? - They only seem to want one thing. 396 00:21:15,790 --> 00:21:20,784 Well, judging... Judging from my inquiries recently, they've been getting it, too. 397 00:21:21,150 --> 00:21:25,826 I can't seem to make them understand that I'm just not that kind of a boy. 398 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,946 Oh... Oh. 399 00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:32,865 I see. Do you mean to say you've never, sort of... Bit of, you know... Under... 400 00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:35,418 You've never been in the catacombs for... 401 00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:38,786 I mean, you know, you've never consorted with a girl? 402 00:21:38,870 --> 00:21:43,022 - Why, of course not, Lurcio. - Well, not even the odd Sunday consort? 403 00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:48,223 Physical love belongs to the blissful state of marriage. 404 00:21:48,310 --> 00:21:50,426 - Yes. - And I'm saving myself for it. 405 00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:53,263 Yeah... He's strange, isn't he? Isn't he strange? 406 00:21:53,350 --> 00:21:56,786 No wonder he's saving himself. Nobody else would bother to, let's face it. 407 00:21:56,870 --> 00:21:58,462 Now, isn't it just my luck, 408 00:21:58,550 --> 00:22:01,622 the only person I find pure in mind and body is a boy. 409 00:22:01,710 --> 00:22:03,223 I mean, it's... 410 00:22:06,470 --> 00:22:09,940 I wonder. It might work, you see. 411 00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:13,147 One of his mother's wigs, one of his sister's gowns, 412 00:22:13,230 --> 00:22:16,347 a bit of his father's sticking plaster. And... 413 00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:25,387 I should be ashamed. 414 00:22:25,710 --> 00:22:28,178 Who could tell the difference? 415 00:22:28,510 --> 00:22:31,946 Master, if you're besotted with this girl, 416 00:22:32,030 --> 00:22:35,420 if you're in love with this girl, why don't you marry her? 417 00:22:35,510 --> 00:22:39,105 - Alas, I have no money, Lurcio. - No money? Oh, how fortunate. 418 00:22:39,190 --> 00:22:42,102 How would you like to earn yourself 100 drachmas? 419 00:22:42,190 --> 00:22:43,509 - How? - How, yes. 420 00:22:43,590 --> 00:22:46,388 Come into the building and I'll tell you. Come inside. 421 00:22:46,470 --> 00:22:47,983 And I'll get 100 drachmas? 422 00:22:48,070 --> 00:22:51,301 Oh, if you play your cards right, you'll get more than that. 423 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,658 You'll get a week's holiday in Rome and a night out with Mark Antony. 424 00:23:00,990 --> 00:23:04,187 No, no. No, no, no. No, citizens! 425 00:23:04,270 --> 00:23:05,988 Citizens, please! 426 00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:10,222 There will be another contestant here in a moment. I promise you. 427 00:23:10,310 --> 00:23:12,824 You said that half an hour ago! Where is she? 428 00:23:12,910 --> 00:23:14,821 Sir, sir, sir... 429 00:23:16,030 --> 00:23:19,306 Citizens, citizens. We have a new virgin here. 430 00:23:19,390 --> 00:23:20,789 - Carry on, Lurcio. - Yes, yes. 431 00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:23,464 Yes, a new competitor, and the last one. 432 00:23:23,550 --> 00:23:26,428 Now, citizens, I present to you 433 00:23:26,510 --> 00:23:29,388 the lovely, untouched-by-human-hand, 434 00:23:29,470 --> 00:23:30,789 Delilah. 435 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,468 Come along, Delilah. 436 00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:37,782 Don't be shy. 437 00:23:38,230 --> 00:23:40,983 A warm hand for Delilah. Now, there we are. 438 00:23:41,430 --> 00:23:42,624 Now, all right? 439 00:23:42,750 --> 00:23:45,787 Don't forget you promised to have me away immediately afterwards. 440 00:23:45,870 --> 00:23:47,940 Yes, well, I'll do my best. 441 00:23:48,990 --> 00:23:51,185 Right. Citizens, pay attention. 442 00:23:51,270 --> 00:23:55,900 Now, Delilah, will you tell us all in one accord 443 00:23:55,990 --> 00:24:00,586 if you are pure in mind and body. 444 00:24:01,590 --> 00:24:02,739 Yes. 445 00:24:05,830 --> 00:24:09,425 He's done it, or, rather, he hasn't done it, if you see what I mean. 446 00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:13,222 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 447 00:24:13,310 --> 00:24:16,586 Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to catch a matinee at the Colosseum. 448 00:24:16,670 --> 00:24:19,628 - So, will you excuse us? - No, no. Lurcio, Lurcio, Lurcio. 449 00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:21,985 - What? - I must present the award. 450 00:24:22,550 --> 00:24:23,903 - Ah, well... - Yes, yes. 451 00:24:23,990 --> 00:24:26,902 As chairman of the Selection Committee, 452 00:24:26,990 --> 00:24:29,185 it is my proud privilege... 453 00:24:31,590 --> 00:24:34,343 My proud privilege 454 00:24:34,710 --> 00:24:38,828 to name you as Miss Vestal Virgin 455 00:24:38,910 --> 00:24:40,821 of BC 72. 456 00:24:44,230 --> 00:24:47,142 Oh, dear. He's been de-puffed. 457 00:24:48,270 --> 00:24:51,819 Honestly, you must feel a right Charlie, don't you? 458 00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:54,060 It was the right Charlie, wasn't it? 459 00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:58,185 Oh, dear. Let's get out of here. Quick. 460 00:25:01,430 --> 00:25:03,819 Young lady, young lady. I'm most terribly sorry. 461 00:25:03,910 --> 00:25:05,628 I can't think what happened. 462 00:25:05,710 --> 00:25:07,268 Well, you see, these things... 463 00:25:07,350 --> 00:25:10,342 Punctures happen in the best of circles. So don't worry, master. 464 00:25:10,430 --> 00:25:12,898 The thing is, I'll get her home now. You see? 465 00:25:12,990 --> 00:25:16,300 Yes. Oh, and she can't go home yet. She has to go to the Temple of Vesta. 466 00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:18,699 Oh, she can't. I mean, she has to go home to feed the kids. 467 00:25:18,790 --> 00:25:20,940 - Feed the kids? - The kid goats. 468 00:25:21,310 --> 00:25:24,108 Yes, she's a goatherd... A goatherdess, aren't you? 469 00:25:24,950 --> 00:25:28,386 I can't help that. The High Priestess has to initiate her. 470 00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:30,938 Oh, you don't want initiating, do you, dear? 471 00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:33,146 No, of course not. It's against your religion, isn't it? 472 00:25:33,230 --> 00:25:36,506 Oh, no, no, Lurcio. It's quite a simple ceremony. 473 00:25:36,590 --> 00:25:38,467 The vestals disrobe her, 474 00:25:40,070 --> 00:25:43,187 and then they initiate her in the circumscribed manner. 475 00:25:43,270 --> 00:25:46,262 Oh, she had that done when she was a baby. Didn't she? Yes. 476 00:25:46,990 --> 00:25:50,187 Oh, yes. No, look, I'll get a chariot, master, a chariot, 477 00:25:50,270 --> 00:25:52,579 and you go and powder your nose or something. Powder your nose. 478 00:25:52,750 --> 00:25:53,739 Excuse me. 479 00:25:53,830 --> 00:25:55,343 - Yes, I'll get her chariot. - Yes, you get the chariot. 480 00:25:55,430 --> 00:25:59,343 Oh, Lurcio, Lurcio, she's gone into the wrong one. 481 00:25:59,430 --> 00:26:00,909 Yes, well, 482 00:26:01,230 --> 00:26:03,221 she's so pure, you see, 483 00:26:03,430 --> 00:26:07,469 she doesn't know the difference between men and women yet, that's the trouble. 484 00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:09,861 Ha! Now I can see daylight. 485 00:26:09,950 --> 00:26:13,909 Oh, excuse me, Senator. I could not help overhearing what you were saying just now. 486 00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:16,220 - And we would be glad to be of help. - Help? 487 00:26:16,310 --> 00:26:17,948 Yes! 488 00:26:18,830 --> 00:26:20,582 Yes, we have a chariot outside, 489 00:26:20,670 --> 00:26:23,264 and we would be glad to take the young lady to the temple. 490 00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:25,818 Oh, no, no, I couldn't think of putting you to that trouble. 491 00:26:25,910 --> 00:26:27,866 Oh, no trouble at all, Senator. 492 00:26:27,950 --> 00:26:29,906 A pleasure, in fact. 493 00:26:31,710 --> 00:26:33,621 Aha! There she is now. 494 00:26:33,710 --> 00:26:36,383 - Come along, my dear. - Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. 495 00:26:36,470 --> 00:26:38,062 But, tut, tut, tut... 496 00:26:38,150 --> 00:26:39,469 No, I can't. I can't think what's happening. 497 00:26:39,550 --> 00:26:41,620 Master, master. Now, I've got the chariot. Has she come out yet? 498 00:26:41,710 --> 00:26:43,428 No, no. She's gone to the temple. 499 00:26:43,510 --> 00:26:44,579 - Gone to the temple? - Yes. 500 00:26:44,670 --> 00:26:47,503 Two men came and took her off in their chariot. 501 00:26:47,590 --> 00:26:50,024 What? Oh, master, you can't. 502 00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,544 That was... That was Nausius, your son. 503 00:26:52,630 --> 00:26:53,858 Yes, yes, yes, I know. 504 00:26:53,950 --> 00:26:56,145 That maiden was Nausius, your son. 505 00:26:56,230 --> 00:26:58,221 Nausius, my son? 506 00:26:58,310 --> 00:27:01,143 In the Temple of Vesta? Oh, the disgrace. 507 00:27:01,230 --> 00:27:05,303 - Oh, what a terrible shock. - What a shock for those vestals. 508 00:27:06,510 --> 00:27:11,459 When they start to circumscribe him. Oh, dear. Now, let's go. 509 00:27:21,630 --> 00:27:23,666 There you are, my dear. 510 00:27:23,750 --> 00:27:26,389 Oh, you're going to have a lovely time in there. 511 00:27:26,470 --> 00:27:28,586 All girls together. 512 00:27:29,830 --> 00:27:32,139 - Ah. Afternoon, miss. - Good afternoon. 513 00:27:32,230 --> 00:27:35,666 This is Miss VV of BC 72, 514 00:27:35,750 --> 00:27:38,105 with the compliments of Senator Ludicrus. 515 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:39,623 Do come in. 516 00:27:42,150 --> 00:27:45,062 And if that doesn't finish him, nothing will. 517 00:27:49,830 --> 00:27:53,459 Oh, dear. I hope I'm not too late to save him. 518 00:27:53,790 --> 00:27:55,269 It's very tricky, this, you know, 519 00:27:55,350 --> 00:27:58,308 because no man is allowed to set foot inside the Temple of Vesta. 520 00:27:58,390 --> 00:28:01,109 It's very difficult. Ooh... 521 00:28:01,230 --> 00:28:04,586 Ooh, look. Oh, look, look, look. Ooh. 522 00:28:04,750 --> 00:28:07,503 Look. All those lovely young vestals. 523 00:28:07,830 --> 00:28:09,309 What a wicked waste. 524 00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:13,188 When you think of thousands of hungry men all over the world 525 00:28:13,270 --> 00:28:15,147 could do with those. 526 00:28:15,230 --> 00:28:16,948 You see, all they have to do... They look so bored. 527 00:28:17,030 --> 00:28:19,544 They're so bored. All they have to do is to tend the flame. 528 00:28:19,630 --> 00:28:21,461 Well, what can you do with a flame? 529 00:28:21,550 --> 00:28:25,179 Nothing, except snuff it or trim it. That's all you can do. 530 00:28:25,510 --> 00:28:27,421 Oh, poor souls. I feel... 531 00:28:27,510 --> 00:28:30,820 I mean, I feel I'd like to do something for them, you know. 532 00:28:32,190 --> 00:28:36,627 Look, here. Look, look, look. Look. Oh, don't push, don't shove. 533 00:28:36,710 --> 00:28:41,659 There's plenty of room for us all to look. Look. They're starting the initiation ceremony. 534 00:28:41,750 --> 00:28:43,422 You see that blonde piece? 535 00:28:44,190 --> 00:28:47,580 That's the High Priestess of the virgins, you see. 536 00:28:47,670 --> 00:28:49,865 She's a kind of shop steward. 537 00:28:51,670 --> 00:28:55,982 She does damn all herself and makes sure nobody else does either, you see. 538 00:28:56,070 --> 00:28:58,026 Now, look. Oh. Oh, dear. 539 00:28:58,110 --> 00:29:01,785 Oh, they... Oh, I must save him before they start bathing him. 540 00:29:01,870 --> 00:29:05,101 Lurcio, Lurcio, Lurcio! Oh! 541 00:29:05,230 --> 00:29:07,300 Oh, there. Oh, there, oh, there, oh, there. 542 00:29:07,630 --> 00:29:09,063 Oh, I'll say your line. 543 00:29:09,150 --> 00:29:12,460 Oh, Lurcio, I brought your... My daughter here. 544 00:29:12,550 --> 00:29:15,223 Oh, master, have you? What's the use of that? 545 00:29:15,310 --> 00:29:19,269 Well, what do you mean, "What's the use of that?" I shall explain to the High Priestess 546 00:29:19,350 --> 00:29:22,387 and get her to take Erotica instead of Nausius. 547 00:29:22,470 --> 00:29:25,109 That is, unless he's been already exposed. 548 00:29:25,190 --> 00:29:28,546 - Oh, no, no. There's been no screams... - Oh, yes? 549 00:29:29,230 --> 00:29:30,424 ...of delight. 550 00:29:30,550 --> 00:29:32,188 Now, Erotica, my dear, 551 00:29:32,270 --> 00:29:35,785 before we go in, I must ask you one question. 552 00:29:35,870 --> 00:29:40,148 I must ask you to answer me simply and honestly. 553 00:29:40,230 --> 00:29:42,380 Oh, of course, Daddy, dear. What is it? 554 00:29:42,470 --> 00:29:43,949 Get ready for it. 555 00:29:44,030 --> 00:29:47,102 It's merely a formality. 556 00:29:47,190 --> 00:29:50,341 Are you pure in mind and body? 557 00:29:50,510 --> 00:29:52,740 Oh, why, of course I am, Daddy. 558 00:29:52,830 --> 00:29:55,060 Excellent. Excellent. 559 00:29:56,150 --> 00:29:58,106 Well, you could have fooled me. 560 00:29:59,830 --> 00:30:02,105 - Were you telling the truth? - Yes. 561 00:30:02,190 --> 00:30:03,908 What about all those young gladiators? 562 00:30:03,990 --> 00:30:05,503 - Not one of those? - No. 563 00:30:05,590 --> 00:30:08,024 Oh, they must all be one of those. 564 00:30:11,190 --> 00:30:12,703 No, wait! Stop, wait! 565 00:30:12,790 --> 00:30:14,860 How dare you enter this place? 566 00:30:14,950 --> 00:30:16,588 It is forbidden to men. 567 00:30:16,670 --> 00:30:19,138 Oh, I'm terribly sorry, High Priestess, 568 00:30:19,230 --> 00:30:22,825 but this is an emergency. There's been a terrible mistake. 569 00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:24,861 - Mistake? - Yes, you see, 570 00:30:24,950 --> 00:30:27,908 this maiden is not at all what he seems to be. 571 00:30:27,990 --> 00:30:29,582 Er, what she seems to be. 572 00:30:29,670 --> 00:30:32,059 I mean he... I mean she... Oh, Lurcio! 573 00:30:32,150 --> 00:30:34,618 Yes. Madam. I mean, miss, 574 00:30:34,990 --> 00:30:38,107 you see, owing to circumstances beyond our control, 575 00:30:38,190 --> 00:30:40,181 you've got the wrong one here. 576 00:30:40,270 --> 00:30:42,181 What do you mean? How wrong? 577 00:30:42,270 --> 00:30:44,386 Oh, very wrong, you see. 578 00:30:44,470 --> 00:30:47,223 Yes. As a matter of fact, you see... 579 00:30:49,790 --> 00:30:51,303 I see. 580 00:30:51,430 --> 00:30:53,068 And how did this happen? 581 00:30:53,150 --> 00:30:54,868 Well, you see, 582 00:30:54,950 --> 00:30:58,260 she was bending over the well, and... 583 00:30:58,350 --> 00:31:02,662 To draw some water, and unfortunately she got a bit more than she bargained for. 584 00:31:02,750 --> 00:31:04,627 Oh, wretched girl! 585 00:31:04,710 --> 00:31:06,382 Yes, wretched girl. Yes, you see. 586 00:31:06,470 --> 00:31:09,428 Now, that girl, Erotica, is the one you should have. 587 00:31:09,510 --> 00:31:10,829 - I see. - Yes. 588 00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:13,504 And how do I know this one is chaste? 589 00:31:13,590 --> 00:31:19,142 Oh, madam. Believe me, she is as pure as you are. 590 00:31:19,230 --> 00:31:21,790 I am the High Priestess of the vestals. 591 00:31:21,870 --> 00:31:26,102 None can be purer in mind and body than I. 592 00:31:34,950 --> 00:31:36,747 Did you see that? 593 00:31:38,710 --> 00:31:41,224 The High Priestess of the virgins! 594 00:31:41,310 --> 00:31:44,268 There's a lying cow. Would you believe that? 595 00:31:47,190 --> 00:31:48,862 It's the shock of my life. 596 00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:51,748 You could have knocked me down with a meteorite. 597 00:31:51,870 --> 00:31:54,987 I'll bet she's been down the catacombs. I'll bet you. 598 00:31:55,070 --> 00:31:57,948 I wonder who she's had it... I wonder who she's... 599 00:31:58,270 --> 00:32:02,343 I wonder who it was. I'll tell you one thing, it wasn't me, that's for sure. 600 00:32:05,270 --> 00:32:08,068 That's right. Tell... Tell the whole neighbourhood. 601 00:32:08,150 --> 00:32:10,983 Oh, dear, you can't keep any secrets here in Pompeii. 602 00:32:11,070 --> 00:32:15,109 Never mind. See you all next week. Salute. Salute. 603 00:32:18,109 --> 00:32:22,109 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com 48541

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