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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,039 This programme contains strong language and discriminatory language 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,199 You got it? Yep. Sure you're OK there? It's quite heavy. I'm fine. 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,959 Listen, I'm just thinking... 4 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,999 ..shall we get the Christmas tree down while I'm up here? 5 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,839 Yes, all right, I suppose we could. 6 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,599 Right, I'll pass it down to you. 7 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,400 Ready? Give me a minute! 8 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,719 Just watch yourself with it. 9 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,760 Yes, all right, Eric, I'm not totally useless. 10 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:32,999 Everything OK? 11 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,200 Yep, all fine. 12 00:00:49,731 --> 00:00:53,999 Do you not think it's a bit early to put it up? 13 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,599 I mean, it's not even December yet. 14 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,479 Pfft, it's fine. Who's going to notice? 15 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,080 KNOCKING 16 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,759 Christine. That's me definitely going. 17 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,879 Going where? 18 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:07,919 To Ireland. 19 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,799 For God's sake, Beth, do you not listen to a thing I tell you? 20 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,119 Of course I do. We're in the middle of a big clear out 21 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,679 and I'm just a wee bit busy. 22 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,119 Right, OK, I'll come in and I'll talk you through the arrangements. 23 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,840 But I cannot stay long. 24 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,250 Right. 25 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,079 Are you putting your Christmas tree up? 26 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,600 It's a bit early, is it no? 27 00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:33,239 Yes, well, we were up in the loft anyway, 28 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,319 so we just thought we might as well. 29 00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:39,119 Oh, you see, I always follow what the church does, 30 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,639 and they put it up 12 days before. 31 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,719 No, you're thinking of Twelfth Night. 32 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,359 That's when you take it down. 33 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:49,239 Yes, a church puts theirs up on the first Sunday of December. 34 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,679 Do they? Mm. 35 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,439 Well, that's awful early. 36 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,919 I think I'll have to have a word with Father Haggarty about that. 37 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,879 I don't think it was ever up that early in Father Kowalski's day. 38 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:03,079 But he really was a religious man. 39 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,399 Where is it he is now? 40 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,359 B&Q, Nitshill. Ah. 41 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,119 But I don't think I'll bother putting up a tree this year, 42 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,559 what with me not being here. What's this? 43 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,039 I'm going to visit my cousin Dearbhla in Ireland 44 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,559 for Christmas, Eric. 45 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,119 Oh, it's fantastic, Christine. 46 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,639 It's so nice that they made contact with you. 47 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,239 Oh, I know, Beth. 48 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:26,319 And to think, if Dearbhla hadn't sent that saliva sample off 49 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:30,680 to Ancestry.com we might never have known that we were related. 50 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,039 Imagine if she'd had a dry mooth that day. 51 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,399 Er, whereabouts are they? 52 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,519 County Galway, Eric. Oh. 53 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:43,119 I get the train to Stranraer, a ferry to Larne, 54 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,159 a bus into Belfast and then coach down to Galway. 55 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,119 Oh! A bit of a trek, that! 56 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,519 So, er, will it be Dearbhla's whole family? 57 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,639 Oh, yes. 58 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,999 Her husband, Eoin, now he's got his own plumbing business, 59 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,079 so I will be looking forward to a bath. 60 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,119 That's definitely on the list. 61 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,319 And then there's her twin girls, Maeve and Aoife. 62 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:08,639 Aw. It'll be nice to meet them because they're actually my... 63 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,839 What is it? My first cousins. 64 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,879 No, no, no, second. 65 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,600 Oh, aye, I'm forgetting they're twins. 66 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,199 Well, you'll have a great time, I'm sure. 67 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,719 Oh, I hope so, Eric. 68 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,719 I must say, I am looking forward to it. 69 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,879 Although it will be strange not being at home on Christmas Day. 70 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:32,479 Oh. I know you're always keen to have me in here, Beth, 71 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,359 so I do feel a bit guilty that I might be letting you down. 72 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,839 Are you sure you're OK with me going? 73 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,559 You're all right... We'll be fine! 74 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,759 Well, I think it's time we get down to discussing what bag 75 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:44,879 I'm taking, eh? 76 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,599 Ah, well, the thing is, Christine... DOORBELL RINGS 77 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,000 Ah, who's this interrupting us? 78 00:03:52,791 --> 00:03:58,639 That's no you got your Christmas tree up already, is it, Beth? 79 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,599 Beth! Well, uh-huh... 80 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,319 It's a bit early, is it not? Mm. Well, we were up in the loft... 81 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,359 Do you know? Just let her do it, Col, 82 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,639 it'll brighten up that dingy front room. 83 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,799 I suppose so. 84 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,399 It's OK, Beth, that's fine. 85 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,759 If it gives you something to look forward to, that's OK. 86 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,719 Should we go in and see it? Oh... 87 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,759 She'll be put out if we don't. You know what she's like. 88 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,480 Right, we'll just come in for a minute and see it, Beth. 89 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,039 Apparently, the cooked breakfasts onboard 90 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,559 the Stena Line are excellent. 91 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,679 Ah. Irene up the high flats told me, 92 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:37,040 they serve a black pudding that is technically illegal on dry land. 93 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,960 Ah, here he is - wee elf here, helping you put your tree up, Beth. 94 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,719 He's far too big for an elf, Col. 95 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,239 Oh, and there's Christine... Ah. How are you doing? 96 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,919 Oh, no bad, Colin. 97 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,399 That is me all booked up for Ireland for Christmas. 98 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,879 You're going to Ireland for Christmas, are you? 99 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,719 Oh, yes, I'm staying with my cousin, Dearbhla in Galway. 100 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,239 Oh, that's nice, you're not going to be here, Christine. 101 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,039 You'll be having a bit of the black stuff over there, eh? 102 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,879 Remember, we went to the Guinness factory 103 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,319 when we were in Dublin, Cath? 104 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,279 Oh, God, that place? Oh, I will not be going back there. 105 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,679 Oh, why not? 106 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,639 Only serves fucking Guinness. 107 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,319 So is this you getting all set for Christmas, then? 108 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,719 What's the plans? 109 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,479 Ah, well, nothing special. 110 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,799 It's just the two of us, so just, you know, traditional. 111 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,159 Traditional? 112 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,679 Well, you've no made a very good start putting your tree up 113 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:29,730 this fucking early. 114 00:05:29,731 --> 00:05:32,639 And what about you two? Do you know what you're doing? 115 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,279 We're going to that same hotel again on Christmas Day 116 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,079 because we quite like it, don't we? 117 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,519 It's really festive how they decorate it all. 118 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,759 And you get steak instead of turkey, 119 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,079 a cocktail instead of Christmas pudding, 120 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,599 and there's a massive smoking section out by the nativity. 121 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,719 The problem we've got is we don't know what presents to get. 122 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,919 Well, I'm fine just with money. 123 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,519 No. I mean for each other. 124 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,479 Yeah, we're not getting you anything, Eric. 125 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,679 You see, we've already got everything, haven't we? 126 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,759 Mm. Oh, poor you, right enough. 127 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,679 I always get Colin pants for Christmas 128 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,999 but I can't get any more in the drawer. No. 129 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,159 And you can't exactly take the old ones to the charity shop, can you? 130 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,119 No, they don't take them. 131 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,879 Well, certainly the British Heart Foundation don't, 132 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,119 though Irene did tell me about a website 133 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,800 where there seems to be quite a lot of interest. 134 00:06:18,801 --> 00:06:22,719 We were just going up to the charity shop 135 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,119 once we'd finished the tree. 136 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,999 Are you getting yourself something, Beth? 137 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,079 Well, it is finished, really, apart from turning on the lights. 138 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,799 OK, then, let's see the big switch on. 139 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,240 Come on, Eric, up off your fat arse. 140 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:41,479 Here, Beth, this reminds me of that time we saw Marti Pellow 141 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,279 switch on the lights in Clydebank. Do you remember that, Beth? 142 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,559 I do. 143 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,759 I'm no actually sure whether he was on the heroin at that point 144 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,319 because we were quite far back, you know. 145 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,719 Right, are we all ready? 146 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:56,039 Aye. Yeah. Aye, go on. Come on, Eric! 147 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,480 Oh... Oh. 148 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,520 Ah, well, you know, you could always stop by the dump as well. 149 00:07:09,551 --> 00:07:13,639 I don't know how much longer I'm going to manage 150 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,319 getting in and out of this seat, Alan. 151 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,959 You want to start getting in the back? 152 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,999 No, I mean you might need to get a car 153 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,959 or get on my insurance or something. 154 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,439 Oh, aye, right, right. 155 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,159 I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well. 156 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,920 You maybe chucked the gym too soon. 157 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,479 Look! Beth's got her Christmas tree up. 158 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,639 Do you think we should go over 159 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,450 and say a wee quick hello and see it? 160 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,239 Nah. 161 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,879 We've got a nice picture of us in front of the Oscar Wilde statue 162 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,959 in Dublin, haven't we? Aye. 163 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,799 Oh, you know, my favourite quote of his is 164 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,039 is when he was going through customs in America and he said, 165 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,120 "I have nothing to declare but my genius." 166 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,199 Well, I preferred the statue of Molly Malone. 167 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,599 You go up, rub her tits, brings you luck. 168 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,239 Oh, for God's sake. 169 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,559 I did as well. 170 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,759 We went to Temple Bar after that, we didn't get hassled by one beggar. 171 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:10,959 Mm. 172 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,479 DOORBELL RINGS 173 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,640 I'll go. 174 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,639 Oh, hello, you two! 175 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,359 Or should that be two and a half? 176 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,320 She's some size now, in't she, Eric? 177 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:30,519 Train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast, coach to Galway. 178 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,999 Oh, my God, I'd need a flight to Switzerland after that. 179 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,159 That's a proper Irish road trip, that. 180 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,599 It is, Colin. 181 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:41,359 But, do you know, I now feel I've got a really deep connection 182 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:45,839 to Ireland, now that I know for sure that I've got Irish blood in me. 183 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,270 If you're going to Galway, would you no be better flying to Shannon? 184 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,679 Where's that? 185 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,159 Oh! Hi, Michelle. Hi, Alan. 186 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,359 Hi! 187 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,879 Hello, everyone. 188 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,919 Sorry to just appear at your door, Beth. 189 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,759 Oh, don't worry about that, no-one else does. 190 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,919 How are you, Michelle? 191 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,919 Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just so tired all the time. 192 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,920 Oh, yeah, you do look really knackered. 193 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,199 Come and sit down, Michelle. 194 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,880 Come on. Yeah, there we go. 195 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:19,359 Sit down there. How's you, Alan, eh? Everything all right? 196 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,399 Aye, all right. Just back from the garage with the van. 197 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,319 Oh, no, something wrong with it? 198 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,679 Somebody ran into the back of me, Eric. Oh... 199 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,279 Oh, my God, what happened? 200 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,839 Were you eating a sausage roll while you were driving, Alan? 201 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,279 No, I was coming off the motorway to go through the tunnel 202 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,319 and there was a wee jam, so I had to slow right down. 203 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,919 Next thing I know, somebody's ran into the back of me. 204 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,919 Oh! And they'd be on their phone, no doubt. 205 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,399 Aye. And see the force of it, 206 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,799 mine's flew right out my hand, under the seat. 207 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,639 They took their time fixing it at the garage, didn't they? Mm. 208 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,279 Alan was late picking me up from antenatal class. 209 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,479 Oh, no. 210 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,010 Ah, it's fine, Beth, you cannae see the dent at all. 211 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:59,359 So, anyway, how are you guys doing? How's Ian? 212 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,079 Oh, he's fine, aye. 213 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,199 He's coming over to have a look through his old stuff 214 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,359 before we junk it. 215 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,919 Are you trying to get rid of every trace of him, Eric? 216 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,319 Have you any baby stuff, Eric? 217 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,679 Because maybe Alan and Michelle might want that. 218 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:15,559 I remember she used to have him in a lot of brown, Michelle. 219 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:19,879 Eric, it's fine. I've ordered loads of stuff already, actually. 220 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,839 You know, all the wee babygrows and the jammies and the wee onesies. 221 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,359 They're just all so cute, aren't they? 222 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,959 Oh, they are, Michelle. 223 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,840 Well, until they soil them. 224 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,359 Have you made any decisions on names, Michelle? 225 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:37,639 No, because we still can't seem to agree on anything, can we? 226 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,519 But if it's a boy, I like the name Lewis. 227 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,200 Good Scottish name, that. 228 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,239 Do you no think it sounds a bit like "loos", though, Eric? 229 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,159 And are you definitely sure you don't want to find out 230 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,039 what you're having, Michelle? 231 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,000 I mean, that would make it a bit easier. 232 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,159 No, I just don't want to know. 233 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,520 No, I'm not that interested either, Michelle. 234 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,679 Can I get you a tea or a glass of water or something? 235 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,279 I'd take a water off you if it's not too much trouble, Beth? 236 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,199 Er, what about the rest of us, Beth? 237 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,039 Aye, here, have you got any mince pies? 238 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,839 A wee cup of tea and a mince pie, that'd be nice. Mm. 239 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,279 Well, the thing is... Oh, aye, a tea and a mince pie, 240 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,319 I wouldnae say no! Eh, first of the season. 241 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,359 Aw, I fucking hate mince pies. 242 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,359 Have you got the ones with the brandy in them, Beth? 243 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,199 Oh, I'd take one of them, though. 244 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,119 No, you see... You know, I love the ones 245 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,519 with all the cream on the top. Oh, have you tried them? 246 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,319 Oh, I like the sound of them. 247 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,919 Have you got any of them, Beth? 248 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,399 I haven't got any mince pies. 249 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,199 Oh... Aw! 250 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,079 You cannae invite us all in here, saying it's the start of Christmas 251 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,559 and not have any Christmas stuff in for us. 252 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,919 We didn't do that! 253 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,639 You've got your tree up, Eric - that sends a message. 254 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,559 It's like the swingers with the pampas grass. 255 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,879 Yes, Eric, shut your face. 256 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,999 Is that really a thing, that, the pampas grass? 257 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,199 I thought it was just like one of those things folks say. 258 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,159 Oh, no, no, no, no. There's a couple round the new-builds that had it 259 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,920 and they were very, very active... 260 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,559 ..apparently. 261 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,119 Beth, don't worry about the water, actually, I'm fine. 262 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,759 Aye, and it makes the baby kick, then she goes on about it. 263 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,759 Don't be daft, of course I'll get you a glass of water. 264 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,439 And I'm happy to do teas and coffees for anyone who's wanting, 265 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,639 I just don't have any mince pies. 266 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,759 I mean, we were just clearing out the loft, 267 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:25,399 not declaring that it was officially Christmas. 268 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,159 I mean, I'd like to have the power to do that, 269 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,160 but I'm afraid I don't, OK? 270 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,120 Beth? 271 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,920 You don't even have a wee tub of Celebrations or nothing, no? 272 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,440 DOORBELL RINGS 273 00:12:52,391 --> 00:12:56,199 A bit early with the tree, are you not? 274 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,519 What is it, just feeling Christmassy? 275 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,840 I wish we'd never bothered, to be honest. 276 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:07,599 Quality Street is what I used to get when it was just Sophie 277 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,199 and me, you know? 278 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:13,239 Oh, the green ones were my favourite. I used to love them. 279 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,639 Aw, and what about Sophie? What ones were hers? 280 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:16,800 All the other ones. 281 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,639 Oh, right, not like you to have a houseful. 282 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,439 Hi, son. Hi, Ian. 283 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,359 Hiya, Dad. Hi, Colin. Hi, Cathy. 284 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,359 How are you doing, Ian? Och, I'm fine. 285 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,679 How are you guys? Everything OK? 286 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,639 Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just feeling... No really, Ian. 287 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,439 Somebody went into the back of my van. 288 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,399 Oh, no. I know. I just got it back today. 289 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,399 You weren't in it at the time, were you? No. 290 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,439 Oh, well, could've been worse. Well, you're saying that, 291 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,680 but that was two full days it was aff the road. 292 00:13:40,681 --> 00:13:45,239 Anyway, how are you doing, Ian? How's Gordon? 293 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,919 Aye, he's good, he's coming over here to meet me after college. 294 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,359 Oh, is he still enjoying it? 295 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,799 Oh, aye, he's loving it. 296 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,679 I'm not loving being the only one earning, though. 297 00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:55,520 Oh... And you'll be on a very poor wage as it is, Ian. 298 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,879 What did he pack his job in for anyway, Ian? 299 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,199 Och, basically he just wasn't happy. 300 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,639 Oh, you see, this is the new thing, isn't it? 301 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,039 You don't like something, you just stop doing it. 302 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:13,119 Never used to be like that. No, you just kept going, that was your lot, 303 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,199 you just had to accept it. 304 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,879 Like you with Eric, Beth. 305 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,239 Right, listen, you want to look through this stuff 306 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,919 from the loft before we throw it out? 307 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,679 Oh, right, now? Oh... 308 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,600 OK, where is it? I'll go get it. 309 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,199 So, what are you and Gordon up to for Christmas, then? 310 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,999 Oh, just having a quiet one, to be honest. 311 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,639 We did invite them but they said no. 312 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,839 Och, Gordon's got an assignment to do over the holidays, 313 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,919 sort of taking over everything at the minute. 314 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,799 What's it on? That's the thing, he can't make up his mind. 315 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,480 Do you think he's quite a weak person, Ian? 316 00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:46,199 We got rid of a lot of other stuff, 317 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,120 but we weren't sure whether you'd want to keep any of this. 318 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,359 God, my old laptop. 319 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,999 I remember the year you got me this. 320 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,279 I remember going to Curry's out at Renfrew to get it. 321 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,919 Oh, that is a nice store, that. 322 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,919 Me and Pat went there to get Sophie her Gameboy. 323 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,759 That was the big present that year. 324 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,919 And did you get her one? 325 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:13,679 No, they were sold out so I just got her a LadyShave instead. 326 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,560 And if I remember right, I think Pat got some Hoover bags. 327 00:15:17,561 --> 00:15:20,639 God, I can remember taking the wrapping off it. 328 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,079 And then straight upstairs and onto the porn, eh, Ian? 329 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,439 Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day. 330 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,239 We didn't want to just throw it out. 331 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,319 No, no, no, listen, he could have some good stuff on it, Eric. 332 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,599 Look, I'll take this but you can get rid of the rest. 333 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,879 Oh, are you sure? 334 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,679 That hat and scarf set was a present as well, 335 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,639 and I don't think you've ever worn them. 336 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:46,799 Ian! He was always a very ungrateful wee boy, Michelle. 337 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,319 I remember I gave him a banana once 338 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,239 and he just threw it behind the hut. 339 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,519 You'll need to get your mum something decent for that 340 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,519 this year, Ian, to make up for that. 341 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,119 Just get her a bottle of rose, Ian. That's what we do, 342 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,360 and she always seems genuinely quite happy. 343 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,359 Sorry, Mum, I'll take those as well. 344 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,159 Oh, well, if you're sure. 345 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,439 And if you don't like them, maybe Gordon will. 346 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,519 Yeah, he's got no fashion sense at all, Ian. 347 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,839 I still don't understand how he's starting college at his age. 348 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,839 I mean, is he no too old? 349 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,479 He's a mature student. 350 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,279 Yeah, exactly, he's a mature student. 351 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,600 HUMMING 352 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,199 Hello, how's it going? 353 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,119 Are we going just now or am I coming in? 354 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,080 Oh, I'm coming in, aren't I? Righto. 355 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:44,199 I get the train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast, 356 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,719 coach down to Galway. 357 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,599 Pfft, well, that's a hoor of a trip, that. 358 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:52,279 Alan. It's a fair way, Alan, but when it is family, 359 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,919 it is worth all the effort. 360 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,239 Quite right. And, you know, you'll be like Santa 361 00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:00,599 coming down from the North Pole with your big sack of Christmas presents. 362 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,890 I'll no need to buy them all presents, will I? 363 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,319 Hi, Gordon. Oh, hiya, Gordon. Hi, hi. 364 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,279 Gordon, what's that you've got on your head? 365 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,400 Oh, it's my helmet. I came on my scooter. 366 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,359 You came here by scooter? Um, yeah. 367 00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:19,479 It'll be one of those e-scooters. Ooh! 368 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,639 I quite fancy one myself. 369 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,599 Is it an e-scooter you've got, Gordon? 370 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,839 No, it's just a regular one. 371 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,599 Aw. Oh. 372 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,720 Gordon, come here a minute. Come here. 373 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,120 That's you. It was, er, sticking up a bit. 374 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,799 So how's your course going, Gordon? 375 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,399 Yeah, good, yeah. 376 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,119 What is it you're studying again? 377 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,599 Sociology and literature. 378 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,790 Oh, right, you not bothered about getting a job after, are you? 379 00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:51,959 Ian says you've got an assignment to do? 380 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,239 Oh, yeah. I haven't made up my mind what to do it on yet. 381 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,599 It's meant to be something on cultural change, 382 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,119 but it's such a big subject. 383 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,559 Oh, God, yeah. 384 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,519 What about Emmerdale going onto YouTube? 385 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,959 I don't think that's the sort of thing Gordon's 386 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,679 studying on his course, Christine. 387 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,319 So it's literature you're doing, is it? 388 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,319 I'll tell you a good book - what's that one I read on holiday? 389 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:18,079 Oh, fuck that, you wouldn't put that down. He was reading it in bed! 390 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,919 I know, I got right into it, so I did. 391 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,479 I know what it was. It was Duncan Bannatyne's autobiography. 392 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,799 Have you read that, Gordon? 393 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,799 Er, no. What about Maeve Binchy? You read any of hers? 394 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,519 All set in Ireland. 395 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,959 They'll no be doing Maeve Binchy books on a literature course. 396 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,439 Why not? There's fucking tonnes of them. 397 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,879 Er, I see you've got your Christmas tree up, Mrs Baird. 398 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,239 Well... It's awful early, is it not, Gordon? 399 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,839 You've no got yours up, have you? 400 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,279 Well, no, but... 401 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,839 Yeah, it's also shit. 402 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,839 Look at the state of it! 403 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,240 Oh, it'll look great when you've got the rest of the decorations up. 404 00:18:53,241 --> 00:18:56,479 You're not saying this is it, are you? 405 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,159 Well, we were having a clear out 406 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,919 and there was decorations there that we'd had for years and... 407 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,679 They were a bit tatty. 408 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,399 Erm, if you throw out everything tatty, 409 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,239 you're not going to have anything left. 410 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,239 Aw, Beth, we've got absolutely loads of Christmas decorations 411 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,799 if you want some. Haven't we, Alan? 412 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,719 Aye, she cannae go past them in the shop without buying them. 413 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,319 It's the same with toilet rolls. We've got hundreds of them. 414 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,559 Ah, no, that's very kind, Michelle. 415 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,559 Look, we've got piles of old ones as well. 416 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,759 Aye. You could always have mine, Beth, 417 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,759 since I'm going to be in Ireland. 418 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,559 Alan, away you go and get some for Beth and Eric. 419 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,839 Michelle, no, we... 420 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,679 Aw, honestly, Eric, it's fine, we've got way more 421 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,559 than we've got room to put up, so... 422 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,400 Come on, Eric, it's fucking miserable in here. 423 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,720 Are we ready? Yes, come on. 424 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:53,199 Yay. Aw. Woo. 425 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,439 That's proper Christmassy now, isn't it? 426 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,080 Well, not till we get a bottle open! 427 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,919 What about you, boys? Oh, shh! I won't tell anyone 428 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,399 you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon. 429 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,880 SHE REVS 430 00:20:07,881 --> 00:20:11,559 Yeah, I'll take one, if that's OK with you, Michelle. 431 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:15,119 Aw, yeah, you guys go ahead. I'll just stick to my water. 432 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:16,959 Did you not realise that being pregnant was going 433 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,960 to be really boring, Michelle? 434 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,639 Is it OK if I have a lager? 435 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,479 Of course it is, Alan. 436 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,839 Are you just saying that now and you'll give me a row later, 437 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,080 or do you really mean it? 438 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,479 I think I've got a bottle of fizz in the fridge. 439 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,679 Woo! 440 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,239 You know when I think it feels like Christmas is coming - 441 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,359 when you hear the Christmas songs on the radio. 442 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,679 Yeah, I love Christmas songs. 443 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,959 Hey, Eric, have you got that Christmas album? 444 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,319 Aye, I think I do. 445 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,519 Aye, as long as you havenae thrown it out. 446 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,679 Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey. 447 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,919 So when is it you're off to Ireland, Christine? 448 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,039 Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle. 449 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,239 Oh, God, it's just so exciting. 450 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,079 You're going to have such a brilliant time. 451 00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,519 We loved Dublin, didn't we? 452 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,079 Aye, we were saying earlier, Alan, that the Guinness that you get 453 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,799 in the Guinness factory isn't like anywhere else. 454 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,519 Aye, it's 20 fucking Euro. 455 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,479 MUSIC: Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney 456 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,280 Aw! 457 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,079 Hey! Oh! 458 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,999 Right, everyone want one? 459 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,050 Please. 460 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,319 Thank you. 461 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,599 Sorry, Michelle. 462 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,599 Oh, Beth, don't worry, I'm fine. I like my water. 463 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:25,759 It's all right, Michelle. 464 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,919 You can get pissed again once the baby's here. 465 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,519 Well, this is a bit more like it, eh? Cheers, everybody. 466 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,959 Cheers! Cheers! 467 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:39,079 Here, Beth, could you go and get me that wee glass that I like? 468 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,039 I don't like the way this one feels in my hand. 469 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,090 Oh, for... 470 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,599 Thanks. Here, I hope you won't be so fussy over in Ireland, Christine, 471 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,160 or they'll send you back. 472 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,039 Dad, stick it on to the next song. 473 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,639 I can't be bothered with this one, it goes on for ages. 474 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,799 MUSIC: I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Wizzard 475 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,919 Oh, no, no, no, Col. No, no, no, I hate this one. Get it off. 476 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,199 She hates this. 477 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,679 Why do you not like it, Cathy? 478 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,119 I don't like the sound of children singing, Gordon. 479 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,879 MUSIC: Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade 480 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,839 Now this, this is a classic. 481 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,039 Oh, does this one no do your head in? 482 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,159 What, do you not like it, Alan? 483 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,199 Och, it's all right but you hear it everywhere you go, don't you? 484 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,040 It is a bit ubiquitous, yes. 485 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,119 I'll tell you one that you hear everywhere - Band Aid. 486 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,919 Oh, it was amazing what they did with that. 487 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,639 Yes. Mm-mm. 488 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,119 Although, there is a bit of a backlash against it now. 489 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:36,599 Against Band Aid? 490 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,039 Is it because Bono's a wank? Alan! 491 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,039 Well, he is but. It's just they think it may be did more harm 492 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,439 than good, because it made people feel they'd solved the problem 493 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,599 of global inequality when, in actual fact, 494 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,239 it's worsened with the impact of climate change. 495 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:54,160 Plus there's the whole white saviour thing, which is quite toxic as well. 496 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:56,919 Oh... 497 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,799 I didn't realise it was so controversial. 498 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,839 Well, it's an interesting debate. I personally think that... 499 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,919 MUSIC: Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues 500 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,959 This is the best one ever. 501 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,439 Oh, I do like this. 502 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,199 What is it? The Pogues. 503 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,959 Mm? Shane MacGowan. 504 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,559 Always pissed? Oh, him, yes. 505 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,439 Here's a couple of names for you, Michelle. 506 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,839 What? Well, Shane for a boy or Kirsty for a girl. 507 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:24,079 Oh, a good Irish name, that, Michelle - Shane. 508 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,599 Actually, I quite like those. 509 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,239 Oh, aye, wee Shane Edgar. 510 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,679 It sounds good, din't it? Or Kirsty. 511 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,279 Aye, that's all right and all. 512 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,479 Here, Christine, this is the one where the choir's singing 513 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,239 Galway Bay - that's where you'll be at Christmas. 514 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,519 Oh, here, so it is. 515 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,719 Christine, it's just going to feel really weird 516 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,360 you being away at your cousin's for Christmas. 517 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,280 Beth? 518 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,559 Do you think it's going to be OK? 519 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,199 What do you mean? Well, me going to Dearbhla's. 520 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:06,239 Because, well, it's just I know that sometimes I can be 521 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,359 a wee bit demanding. Oh, Christine... 522 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:12,759 But what if they end up wishing they'd never made contact with me 523 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,719 and cannae wait to see the back of me? 524 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,159 You're going to have a wonderful time. 525 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,399 Christmas is for families, and they're your family. 526 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,479 They're going to be thrilled you're there. 527 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,320 Do you think so? Yes. 528 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:32,399 Here, Beth, you know how I'm getting the train to Stranraer 529 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,799 and then getting the ferry... 530 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,239 Yes - train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, 531 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,079 bus to Belfast and coach to Galway. 532 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,799 Are you OK to give me a lift into the station? 533 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,039 Yes. 534 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,639 Are you OK there, Gordon? Any problem with this song? 535 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,159 Well, it depends which version it is. What? 536 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,959 Well, there's a word in the song that's quite offensive, so... 537 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,679 What word? Well, I don't really want to say it. 538 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,039 I think I know what it is. 539 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,799 What is it, Beth? Is it scumbag? 540 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,279 What is wrong with scumbag? 541 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,639 It rhymes with maggot... 542 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,199 It rhymes with maggot? 543 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,319 Maybe just forward it on to the next one. 544 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,039 What rhymes with maggot? 545 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,119 I know, I know! 546 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,960 What is it? It begins with an F, Christine. 547 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,359 Fuckwit? 548 00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,920 Look, maybe just put it off, Dad. 549 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,920 What is it? 550 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:26,719 What's wrong with that? 551 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,599 It's quite offensive, especially to gay people. 552 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,959 I thought it was "poofter" was the one that yous didnae like. 553 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,519 Och, it's getting to the point you cannae say anything 554 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:36,999 without offending someone. 555 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,319 Oh, here we go. 556 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:39,639 Well, it's ridiculous. 557 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,199 I mean, you cannae even have a bit of homophobic swearing 558 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,760 in a Christmas song any more. 559 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,599 I think it's more we're just becoming more aware 560 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,359 of how the things we say impact on other people, 561 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:54,279 and a recognition that some terms that were once in common usage 562 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,239 were, in fact, offensive, frankly. 563 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:58,959 We should probably make a move. 564 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,359 What other words can we not say, Gordon? 565 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,919 Well, it's not up to me. 566 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,799 What about fanny? 567 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,719 If someone was to call you a silly fanny, 568 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,079 would you be offended by that? 569 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,719 Cathy. Well, I wouldn't really be offended, but, I mean, 570 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,959 if we're going to get into it, I don't really think anyone 571 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,399 should be using a female body part as an insult. 572 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,359 Does that mean that you cannae say cu...? Christine! 573 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,279 What about dick? Can you still call someone a dick? 574 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:23,839 That's less bad. 575 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,559 Oh, thank God for that. 576 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,039 I say dick quite a lot, don't I? 577 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,159 Uh-huh. Aye, me as well, Alan. Aye. 578 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,599 Why is dick not as bad, Gordon? 579 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,879 Well, it's that men have, historically, 580 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,439 been the dominant gender so the... 581 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,119 What about wanker, Gordon? 582 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,839 Because technically that's either, isn't it? 583 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,719 Arsehole? You know, we've all got one of those. 584 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,190 And where would the gays be withoot them? Oh, for... 585 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,519 I really think we should head... 586 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,759 You know what I think, Gordon? 587 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,040 What?! 588 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,839 I think you should do your assignment on all of this. 589 00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:00,679 Language and all that, how it's changed. 590 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,599 You really know what you're talking about. 591 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,160 Well, I don't think that's... 592 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,480 I can't really see how that would... 593 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,680 Actually, that's a really good idea. 594 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,599 Don't forget your hat and scarf. 595 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,479 Ah, yeah, see about that... 596 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,799 Do you mind if we don't do presents this year? 597 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,119 Oh, right. 598 00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:30,439 Yeah, it's just we're a bit skint this year with me being at college. 599 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,090 Is that why you're not coming over on Christmas Day? 600 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,519 Kind of, yeah. 601 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,199 Do not worry about presents but come over for dinner, 602 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,320 we'd love to have you. 603 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,399 Right, OK. 604 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,920 Thank you. Cheers, Mum. 605 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,440 Erm, no hugs for me, Gordon? 606 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:55,730 Oh! 607 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,240 That's a nice kiss for you as well. 608 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:04,680 Bye, Ian. 609 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:15,039 Oh, is that your scooter, Gordon? 610 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,479 Yeah. Ooh! I wonder if Col would like one of those? 611 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,599 Oh, my God, I could get him one for his Christmas. 612 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:25,199 Col! Col! Come and get a look at Gordon's scooter! 613 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,559 What's happening? 614 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,159 I think Colin's going to have a go on Gordon's scooter. 615 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,560 Oh, I'd quite like to see that. 616 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,879 I haven't been on one of these for years. 617 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:38,279 Go on, Col. 618 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:39,839 HE GIGGLES 619 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,199 Whee! 620 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,520 Woo! 621 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,239 Oh! 622 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,319 CRASHING Oh! 623 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,040 Oh, my fucking van! 624 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:58,999 # The boys of the NYPD choir still singing Galway Bay 625 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:03,680 # And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day. # 626 00:29:03,730 --> 00:29:08,280 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49515

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