Original subtitles

Coming down!

Guys.

Guys.

Hey, guys!

This has gotta stop.

Eleanor's got two days off, so we can be together.

That means two nights.

I don't remember the last time we got to bed at the same time

and weren't so exhausted we just fell asleep.

But hell, between you guys yelling your heads off

and pop sneezing and coughing

it makes it hard to get down to business

if you know what I mean.

Some of you guys are married.

I'm sure there are times

you wanna be alone with your wives, huh?

I wanna be alone with mine. You can understand that, huh?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Thank you, fellas. Thank you.

Alright, coming back.

♪ Them that's got shall have ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ So the Bible says ♪

♪ And it still is news ♪

♪ Mama may have ♪

♪ Papa may have ♪

♪ But God bless the child that's got his own ♪

♪ That's got his own ♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ God bless the child ♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa-oo-aa ♪

'Bless you.'

Daddy, don't switch the light on

until after I get this screwed in, okay?

I don't wanna be looking like Don King.

Okay.

♪ Ta-da pa-dum pa-da ♪

Now, that's a miracle we take for granted.

- Thank God for James P. Watson. - Who was that?

The black man who invented the electric light bulb.

That cold must be getting to your head.

That was Thomas Edison.

Oh, sure! He grabbed all the credit

but you gotta get your facts straight.

See, James P. Watson was Edison's assistant.

And while Edison was upstairs asleep one night

Watson got up for a snack.

He got to tinkering with that filament

and before you know it, history was made.

Poor Watson never got a lick of credit.

Oh, come on now. Daddy, you know that's not true.

Oh, okay. He got some credit.

They named that town after him in California.

Watts.

Hi, honey.

Oh, sweetheart, you look so good

after all that trash.

Words every woman longs to hear.

- 'Bless you.' - I'm putting some hot tea on.

- Right away. - Okay.

So how was your day, son?

Better than the night I had with my wife.

As you recall, it was a wheezing, sneezing hell.

Well, I'm sorry, son.

Well, next time, I'll just lay quietly

and let the virus take me in my sleep.

- Sneezing didn't bother me any. - Oh, how could it, huh?

You and daddy were playing poker till four this morning.

Hey, Roc, I was trying to win some money

so I could pay you back.

Oh, well. How much did I win?

You won... a dollar and thirty seven cents.

You only won $1.37?

No, I won $149. You only won $1.37.

A $149?

Hey, Roc, you didn't have to stay up all night.

- Oh, yes, I did! - Roc.

Is this about money or being with your wife?

- Now, make up your mind. - I wanna be with my wife!

Roc, I understand where you're coming from

but you gotta realize it's too crowded

for you and Eleanor to have the privacy that you need.

Hey, why don't you take it to a hotel?

Hotel?

Oh, Eleanor'll never go for it.

She'll think it's sleazy.

Roc, you're saying it like it's a bad thing.

Here you go, daddy.

Thank you.

Elle, um, I was thinkin', uh...

...you know what with tonight being so special to us

and, and it's such a rare occasion that we, uh...

...you know, maybe we could, you know

deepen and explore our relationship--

He wants to do the nasty with you at a hotel.

- I'll pack. - You'll go?

It'll be fun! Oh, Roc.

It's so wonderful

of you to come up with a such a romantic idea.

Thanks.

♪ Whoo ooh-ooh-aa ♪

- Okay, Roc. I'm ready. - Alright, it's about time now.

I've been waiting 45 minutes already. Let's go.

You can't wait to get me down now, huh?

Well, that and we've been paying for the room since 3 o'clock.

Eleanor, you're a vision of loveliness.

Oh, thanks, daddy.

Now, daddy, there's plenty of vitamin C in the kitchen.

You take it. I feel bad leaving you all alone.

He's had a full life. The last half rent free.

Now, come on, let's go.

Call us if you needs us, daddy.

- Don't worry about me. - Hey, what? Whoa!

- I missed the love birds, huh? - Yeah.

Well, it's nice to finally have their house to ourselves.

Actually, I think I'll partake

in a little romance of my own tonight.

- Oh, what you got there, son? - Oh, my little black book.

I used to have a little black book.

Yeah, sometimes when I'm alone I think about that book.

That and dying slow.

Um... you gonna be alright if I leave you alone tonight, daddy?

- Oh, yes. No problem. - Okay.

Uh, daddy, you don't sound too good.

Maybe I ought to stay with you tonight.

Oh, don't be silly.

I know how to dial 911.

You go ahead and have a good time.

Okay, okay. Alright, alright.

That's it, that's it. I'm staying.

Oh, well, Joey, if it'll make you feel better.

♪ Whoa whoa whoa oh-oh ♪

Oh!

Oh, this is nice.

Roc, how do you know about this place?

It was on my route.

It always looked so romantic

from down in the alley, where the dumpsters are.

Uh, will there be anything else, sir?

No, no. I think that'll do it.

We're saving for a house.

Why don't you add on the den, sir?

Ooh, that's a nice view.

Oh, look at this bathroom.

Ooh, that's nice.

What's in here?

Oh, Roc!

This place has everything.

Oh, it sure does.

Oh, color TV.

Oh, oh!

We got room service, Roc.

We don't even have to leave the room.

No.

For a cup of coffee?

Don't worry, sweetheart. I've got it covered.

We won't go hungry...

...or thirsty.

Champagne.

Nothing but the best for my wife.

Oh, my God.

Listen.

- I don't hear anything. - That's right.

No Joey, no pop. Nothing but peace and quite.

Let's just sit here and enjoy it for a while.

- That's enough. - Oh!

Not so fast, baby.

I have a little surprise for you.

Oh.

I think it'll look even better on you.

We'll just have to see about that.

'Oh, lady.'

Tell me you're my wife.

You're turn.

Okay.

Save the first dance for me.

♪ I want sexual healing.. ♪

♪ Oh baby ♪

♪ Makes me feel so fine..♪

♪ Healing me.. ♪

♪ It's good to know ♪

♪ Sexual healing is something ♪

♪ That's good for me.. ♪

Hmm. You sure look sexy in your PJs.

You look pretty sexy yourself.

♪ I can't get on the.. ♪

'Oh, Eleanor, I love you.'

'I love you too, Roc.'

'What's the matter, babe?'

'Mmm.'

'I don't know.'

'This has never happened to me before.'

'Come on, honey, just, just loosen up.'

- 'Alright.' - 'Okay?'

- 'Mm-hmm.' - 'Mm? That's more like it.'

- 'Mm.' - 'Mmm.'

Roc, don't get so excited.

I wish I could.

Roc, honey, calm down. It's not that big a deal.

Not a big deal? Not a big deal? What's a bigger deal than this?

I guess to a man it's a big deal.

I know you couldn't tell by tonight, but I am a man.

Well, we might as well go downstairs to the front desk

and, uh, see about getting our money back.

Roc, look, honey, maybe the pressure was too great.

The new surroundings.

Let's talk about this.

- I'm a nurse. - Oh, so, now it's a disease!

- Roc, you're overreacting. - Where you going?

I need to be alone, I need to think.

Roc, wait.

I'm here for you, baby.

I'll always be here for you.

Oh, I know, sweetheart, but...

You just have to realize what happened tonight

is not that impotent.

I meant, important!

- Important! - Important!

♪ Yeah-ye yeah-ye yeah yeah-ye yea-a-ah ♪

Oh, my man! How you been?

Joey, what did you bring him for?

I wouldn't have phoned you at all

if I knew you were gonna bring him.

You promised me you wouldn't tell him.

Oh, now, don't blame your brother, Roc.

There's a time in every man's life

when he needs his father to comfort him.

Unfortunately for you, this ain't it.

Couldn't get your soldier to salute, huh, son?

Come on, pop, I don't need this now, huh, keep it down.

I don't want everyone looking at me.

They're looking at you 'cause you got your damn jammies on.

Not 'cause your mojo's not working.

Look, Roc...

...I understand exactly what you're going through.

I mean, you're feeling a little empty, right?

Less of a man.

I mean, there's a...

...feeling of sadness and deep...

...deep humiliation but, Roc...

...it won't last long.

Has this happened to you, too, Joey.

Hell, no. If it happened to me, I'd kill myself.

- Hey, what's happening, Andrew? - Hey, Wiz.

- How you doing, man? - I'm alright.

Now, Roc, where were we?

Oh, yeah.

Roc, you have got a serious problem.

And you need a serious solution.

Keep it down, Wiz. Keep it down.

Oh, okay, okay.

Look, Roc.

What I'd do is...

...picture a nude baseball game.

Women, of course.

Amazons.

Wearing only caps and spikes.

Up to the plate steps Margo.

The fleshy part of her thighs ripple.

Bam, Margo pulls that first pitch

down the first base line. She's impressive out of bases.

She's roundin' second in slow motion

as the out-fielder hurls the ball in.

Margo dives for the bag.

Sliding head first, her ample bosom blazing a trail

from second to third.

By the time Margo reaches third...

...I score.

Oh, come on, Wiz.

This thing's not gonna do me any good.

I'm surprised. You usually can fix anything.

Yeah, I usually can, man, but they ain't invented a tool

that can fix your problem, yet.

And if they did, I wouldn't want to operate it.

Oh, now, son, forget about all this stuff.

Now, you got a beautiful woman

back at the hotel room waiting for you.

Somebody who cares about you

and somebody who's gonna stick by your side no matter what.

Now, you got to go back there

put everything else outta your mind

and give it another try.

Now, that'll work.

Oh, thanks, pop.

What if it happens again?

Give that naked baseball thing a shot.

You decided to come back?

Well, I had the rest of my clothes here.

Roc, how could you just leave me here with nothing better to do

than to watch the "Home Shopping Network?"

Oh, I'm sorry, Eleanor.

I had to go to Charlene's Bar and sort this out.

Get back on track.

You didn't buy anything, did you?

No, Roc.

Alright, I know I shouldn't have left, but...

...I just... needed someone to talk to.

Roc, I'm the one to talk to.

I know, I know.

It took me a while

but I finally realized what was important.

- You did? - Yeah.

You see... there was this beautiful woman...

...waiting for me up here...

...and no matter what I do...

...or can't do...

...that woman's gonna love me just like I love her.

You're a smart man.

- 'Oh, oh, Eleanor.' - 'Oh, I love you, Roc.'

'Butt, Margo! Butt!'

Who the hell is Margo?

In-fielder.

- What? - Eleanor, it happened again.

If I was a horse, they'd take me out

shoot me and put me outta my misery.

You're just putting too much pressure on yourself, babe.

I wanted tonight to be memorable.

Oh, it's memorable alright.

I'll never forget this night.

Oh, come on, Roc.

Now, you got to admit

it is pretty funny.

You wouldn't think it was funny if it happened to you.

I think it would be real funny if it happened to me.

Oh, you were lucky.

Mom and pop never talked about the facts of life.

Hmm.

So finally, in the fifth grade...

...I took it upon myself to take Joey...

...and talk about the birds and the bees.

Wasn't it a little soon to be telling

your six-year-old brother all about sex?

No, I wasn't telling him.

- He was telling me. - Oh.

'Okay, okay. No.'

If you could be unfaithful...

...who would you be unfaithful with?

Living or dead.

If she's dead, why would I wanna be unfaithful with her?

Just suppose.

Well...

...maybe, uh, Dorothy Dandridge, I guess.

- Yeah. - That's a good choice.

I'd pick Denzel Washington.

Well, he's living.

Don't worry, baby, he way out there in Hollywood.

Yeah, he better stay there too.

One day, when I was about... five years old...

...I was sitting out on the front stoop...

...when I saw the scruffiest mutt across the street.

I thought I'd play with him for a while.

I crouched down and snapped my fingers and whistled.

He perked up his cute little ears and...

...came running towards me.

What's wrong, baby?

Oh, he was halfway across the street when he was, uh...

...hit by a car and killed.

Oh, Roc.

I still get dreams about that dog.

Oh, but you can't blame yourself for what happened.

Yes, I can.

'You know, you were right.'

I'm looking back on last night

and laughing about it already.

Don't get me wrong.

This kinda thing is only funny once.

Happens again, I enter the witness protection program.

I had a great time, Roc.

Yeah, me too.

That's what makes it so funny.

Normally, I'd have been mad as hell.

Spending so much on this hotel room... and then...

...having my, uh, technical difficulties.

But I feel we got ten times our money's worth.

Eleanor, it was great not making love to you.

Thank you, sir. It was good for me too.

Last night...

...was how we used to be Roc.

You know, when we first met.

Seemed like all we did was talk.

Maybe that's what last night was all about.

Remembering what we got married for.

I never forgot.

I love you.

I never felt closer to you than I do right now.

We're pretty lucky, huh?

Lot of couples can have a... night of sex...

...but there are very few who can get a night...

...like we just had.

In a funny sort of way if...

...we had done anything more...

...we would've spoiled it.

You're right.

We would have.

Let's spoil it.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Keep on walking ♪

♪ Oh Lord ♪

♪ Oh yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah well well well ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Whoa whoa ♪

♪ Keep on walking on ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪