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...is a new bird...

He sings a love song

As we go along

Walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow, we can build a snowman

And pretend that he's a circus clown

We'll have lots of fun With Mr. Snowman

Yes, until the other kiddies Knock him down

Later on

We'll conspire

As we dream by the fire

To face unafraid

The plans that we've made

Walking in a winter wonderland

Walking

In a winter wonderland

And on this cold and frosty morning,

we are all officially on countdown, with 16 shopping days left till Christmas.

Have you been naughty or nice?

Here's one of my old favorites to get us in the mood.

What am I gonna do this Christmas

Without you?

What am I gonna do this Christmas

Alone?

Mum?

Gazing at

- Dad? Kettle! - The mistletoe

- Dad! - And longing for your kiss

Mum!

Why do I have to spend Christmas

Mum? Shit. Mum?

Mum? Fuck.

- Oh... Dad? Dad! - Away from you like this?

Dad!

Do you remember just last Christmas?

Hello? Mum?

- Ambulance, please. - I held you

So tight

I won't forget last...

- Where do I go? - I don't know. Over here, innit?

I'm just gonna go down the one-way system.

- You're going... - I know. I'm parking.

And Silent Night...

It's all right, Mum. We've got your stuff. We've got your bag.

That we'll be together

But what am I gonna do this Christmas

If you're not here

With me?

Wait, where are my goggles?

You'll have to borrow some if you didn't put them in. I did get you new ones.

Aw, Mum!

Don't blame me.

Well, no, you didn't!

Well, yes, I did.

- They were on the hall table. - How did you not see, Ella?

- Shut up! - Hold on. Ella, help your brother.

- Hi, Suze. Sorry. Okay, couple of things. - My wife's tired. And having a baby.

- You got any room? - For God's sake, Alfie.

- Yeah. - It's... Ahem.

- "Hello, sir. My wife is having a baby." - That's fine. Absolutely fine.

- As long as you get bonuses out... - "Is there a chance you have room?"

Not "My wife's tired and having a baby."

- "Got any room?" - That's the same thing!

- You just said the same thing twice! - No, I didn't.

For God's sake, just get it right this time.

- "...us all at Healthful Harvest." - You'll be so embarrassing!

Actually, I'm gonna have to go.

- Ella, he is not going to be embarrassing. - Yes, he is.

Alfie, you are doing brilliantly, darling. Brilliantly.

- Isn't he doing brilliantly, Ben? - Yeah!

No way I'm coming to your Nativity.

- Don't be mean. - Somebody respects me.

- Ooh! Some lovely bread. - My keys...

- Seen keys... - Thanks, Mum.

- Hey, Syd. - Mm-hmm?

- What d'you think of my earrings? - Yeah, I love them.

- Did you show Mum? - Mum?

- Mm? - What d'you think of my earrings?

Gorgeous! They might be a bit dangly for rugby though, darling.

So just take them off before PE? Good boy.

- Okay. - Right, um, I'm off.

I'll, uh, see you about five-ish.

- Bye-bye! - Jerry?

Where's the yogurt that was on the list?

- I don't think that was on the list. - It was on the list. Sheep's yogurt.

How do you always just forget one thing? It's just really hard on me.

Just cross them off as you go. You never cross them off as you go.

I'll get some on the way back later. Yeah. That's locked in. Goat's yog.

- Sheep's! - Sheep's. Sheep's.

- Okay, you guys, have a good day. - Bye, Mum.

- Good luck with rehearsal, darling. - Ella, I need my script.

- Say please. - Oh, give it to him. There you go.

- Mum, I was gonna give it to him! - And the bag.

- Please don't forget my piano lesson. - I won't.

No, I haven't forgotten it, darling.

- You forgot last time! - But I haven't forgotten.

- Really embarrassing! You forgot. - Okay. Bye!

Okay, bye.

Mummy, finished!

Mum! Tibalt's pooing with the door open again.

- Have you really finished? - Yeah.

- Are you lying to me? Is it time... - No.

- Hi, Con. - Jules.

- A bit early for you. Is everything okay? - Yeah. Hey, listen.

- You've gotta come to the hospital. Mum... - W... wait--

- She's going to surgery now. - What?

- Hello? - Oh, hi. Uh...

Um, sorry, who is... Which...

- It's Syd. - Oh, right.

- Hello, Uncle Connor. - Hey, Syd.

Yeah, uh, listen, I need to talk to Mol.

- Um, your mum. - Okay.

Mum! Uncle Connor said he needs to speak to you.

There you go.

Hi. Uh, be quick. I'm... I'm busy.

Yeah, Mol, listen, um, uh...

Mum had a thing. She's... she's back in hospital, and...

Uh, can you just come?

Mmm!

Mmm. Yes. Yes!

And as you move through the birth canal,

releasing the energy of the womb

towards the warmth and the delightful rays of the sun,

let the sun beckon you and cleanse you.

I just...

If only I could've traveled places, Con.

You know, for my effing foot,

having all you kids, and...

I'd probably be better traveled than that what's his name.

Cute little gray-haired fella.

You know, Planet Organic geezer.

- David Attenborough? - Yeah.

I'd be like him, yeah.

I... I'm not saying having you kids wasn't worth it.

Course it... course it bloody was. Uh...

I'd just like to have...

You know, it's... it's fine though. Well...

Uh...

Yeah. I dunno.

You can travel for me, Con.

Yeah, I suppose I could, Dad. It's just, um...

It's just a bit stressful, actually.

Bali looks nice, doesn't it, Con? You should go to Bali, look. Look at that.

Last time I went anywhere for a proper holiday was about

five years ago.

Italy, Tobias's wedding. I mean,

me and Mum went to Germany to see that specialist Julia organized.

- Don't really count though, does it? - Oh, no, don't go saying that, Con.

Course it counts. You know, you... you got me that nice jerkin.

And all those lovely meats you brought back. Ooh!

- Meat? What meat? - Well... Fucking glockenspiel stuff.

It's called Knochenschinken.

- And what the hell is a jerkin? - What the...

Oh, don't be like that, Con.

You know, my jerkin,

my... jerkin, you...

Oh, well, that is a shame.

- I thought you liked my jerkin. - Stop saying jerkin.

- My jerkin, with three things for pens. - Oh God.

- Dad. - Little waterproof thing.

- Please, Dad. I just need a bit of... - Fucking pen...

- Only a fucking jerkin. Jerk... - Dad! Dad!

- Hi, babe. - Hi, kids.

No, it's just me and Benji in the car now. Um...

I'm just arriving at the hospital. Uh, Mum's gone back in.

Make sure that you get the yogurt. That's your one task.

- It was sheep's yogurt, wasn't it? - No, it's dog's yogurt, Jerry!

- Fuck me! Yes, it's sheep's. - Sheep's.

- I guess Molly will be there. - Probably.

- Oh God. Do you need me to fly back? - Oh, no. No, no, no. It's fine.

You've got work. I'm fine. I... I can cope, honestly. It's fine.

- Jerry? - Yogurt.

All I want is a cancer-free mother and some fucking sheep's yogurt.

You're making me just exhausted.

I could get us some cheeky After Eights?

Why are you asking me so many questions, Jerry?

- Please go now. - Okay. Love you.

All right. Come on, Tibby!

All right, my darling.

Ooh!

That's it. Move out the way.

- Ohh! - Thank you for helping, darling.

There we go.

All right, let's go and see Nanna. Come on.

Molly, hi.

Let's just keep moving.

Come on.

Mummy cross.

No, darling. Mummy's not cross.

How you doing, tinker?

Look! I've got something very special to show you.

- There we go. - A skill for later life, hey?

Ooh, what if you took...

- Hi. - Hey.

- You okay? - Yeah.

How's she doing? What happened?

Uh, they said they need to, uh, clear the airways.

She's in surgery right now.

Um... uh...

they're gonna update us when they... when they have anything.

- God, I can't bear it. - That was two hours ago.

Poor Mum.

What did Helen say? Did you manage to reach her?

No. I did try her.

- Did you? - No, Con. I didn't call Helen.

- Did you call Helen? - You called me.

Yeah, I know that, but I just thought that one of you two would've called her.

- Why would we do that? - Why would we...

Because you're sisters.

- Bagsy not calling her. - It's fine. It's absolutely fine.

I'll call her. I'll just pretend you've only just called me.

Yeah, horrible, innit? Ooh.

- Don't you like it? Here, try that, then. - Okay.

- I'm not allowed crisps. - Aren't you?

Oh, I thought my phone was off. I'm so sorry.

Entschuldigung, bitte.

Keep your heart chakras open.

Oh, that's it. Beautiful. I love it.

Aah!

Look at this, a rare call from my über-busy baby sister.

- Hi. - I'm teaching my holistic dance therapy.

I can't really chitchat, but how are you?

- Yeah, Helen? Listen to me. - Oh my gosh, Julia--

- Listen. - This class is so incredible for grief.

There's this one man whose wife died

because she slipped on an IKEA catalog and fell down the stairs.

I mean, how tragic is that?

She was naked.

- Helen, listen, please, stop. Just listen. - My gosh, Julia.

Mum's... Mum's gone back into hospital.

- What? - Okay? Um, Connor just called me.

- Oh my God. - She... she couldn't breathe.

They're trying to figure out what's gone on.

I'm heading out the house now.

- Just leaving... - Oh my God.

- Right now. - Uh... Okay. Okay. Um...

- Okay? - Oh God. Breathe.

She's at the Princess Mary, but I do actually think you should come.

- If you can. - Okay. I... I'll just come straight there.

- Great. - I'll just... I'll get a plane today.

And I'll bring some, um, Florida Water and sage to clear out Mum's room

and some crystals for healing.

And I'll pick up some orange squash for her 'cause she loves it.

Great. Bring some... Loves it. Bring some orange squash, definitely.

Yeah. Okay, great. Listen. Let me know what time you get in. Text me.

- Can you tell me-- - I've gotta go now.

- Look-- - Bye. Bye, bye, bye.

Fuck me.

Oh no.

Um, hi, Suze, it's me again.

Um, so listen, something's come up with my mum. I'm not gonna be in today.

Oh, yes, Bettina, fantastisch.

That is amazing.

For dinner, Alfie wanted pizza. No TV, please.

And, um... Oh shit, when is Alfie's Nativity play?

Can you remind me? Put it in the shared calendar.

Thank you. Okay, bye.

Do you want your sandwich? Yes?

Yes, please.

- Would you like your lunch, my darling? - Yes.

- Yes what? - Yes, please.

Thank you, Mummy.

There you are, my beautiful boy.

I've got, um, extra, if you're hungry.

We don't want it, do we, Tibby? No.

That's not organic, is it?

Do you want to take your delicious sandwich and go and play?

Over there?

Ah!

Ben?

Want to go and play?

Turn you around here.

There we go.

Oh, yes!

We've got the same jumper.

My nanna made my one.

What's your name?

Here you are, darling.

Good boy.

Please can I have a bite?

Bite.

Don't tell Mummy.

Uh, Mr. Cheshire?

- Here. Yes, here. - Yeah.

Hi. Uh, so, uh, June is out of surgery.

- Is she all right? - How is she?

Yeah, she's in recovery.

She... she wanted to know if it was still snowing outside.

- So, if you go through those doors... - Yeah.

...it's second on the left. Dr. Khal and Dr. Titford will be waiting for you.

- Right. - Okay.

Oh, now, would you two boys like to come and see my pet fish?

- Oh, wow! - And have a Christmas chocolate?

- Yes, please. - A chocolate, darling?

- Just one. - Okay.

We'll come back down and bring you up to the second floor in a bit.

- Okay, thanks. - Thank you.

- Uh-oh. - Come on, Benji.

- Where did you get that? - Over there.

- What, did you steal it? - No.

I found it. Finders keepers.

- Are you six years old? - Wh... what?

- It's a hospital, Dad. - Well, this is health and safety here!

- Fuck's sake. - It's a hospital.

- Look at that fish. It's got... - It's over here.

- ...really big eyes. - That big one.

We discussed your mother's case

in our multidisciplinary team meeting this morning,

and we need to inform you

that June's cancer has rapidly progressed.

Um... Dr. Khal can speak to this morning's procedure,

but, very unfortunately,

the last round of chemo wasn't as effective as we'd hoped.

The, um, CT scan results show that the cancer has now spread

through her abdomen and pelvis.

I'm sorry, uh... to say.

Uh, Simon.

Oh... uh, yeah. Well, uh, I'm Simon Khal.

Thank you all for being here.

- So we were able... - "Simon Cowell"?

...to successfully remove the fluid from her lungs,

which is why she was struggling to breathe.

But we need to make you aware that the size of the mass in her abdomen

has increased significantly, and it's now blocking her bowel,

and we don't think that an operation to fix that is in her best interest.

As you know, she's frail, and even if we could give her a stoma bag,

it's unlikely she'd survive the operation,

and more chemotherapy would be too much for her.

I'm sorry to say that, in our opinion,

there's no more treatment that we can offer June.

Given she can no longer use her bowel,

our focus now is on keeping her comfortable

and giving her the best supportive care we can.

It's been, what, nearly three years now, hasn't it?

She's put up quite the fight.

I know what Simon is saying is a lot...

It's a lot to take in, but, um...

Um... Ahem. In practical terms, we'd like to keep June here for a night or two

to make sure her lungs are clear.

Um...

Which will not only make our June more comfortable but a lot less anxious.

You know what would make me less anxious, David,

is if you just stopped clicking that fucking pen.

Oh. Apologies, sorry.

She's not your June. She's our June.

- She's our June. - Sorry.

Sorry. So, just...

just so I can understand,

are we talking like... like a... countdown now?

- What are you saying? - Well...

We really don't like to throw around estimates, really.

But that's what we need, an estimate. Are we talking months?

'Cause, you know, if... our mum's gonna die,

I wanna know how long she's gonna live for.

Well, let's stay optimistic and...

and hope that she can make it through to Christmas.

- Although even that is unlikely, given-- - That's two weeks away.

Dr. Titford, if you click that fucking pen one more time,

I will literally punch your cock off your body.

I am sorry. Sorry.

- Okay? - Steady on there.

- Steady on, Mol. - Shh!

- Force of habit. - Just, please, just...

Let's just take a minute.

Just need a minute.

- Sure. - It's a lot to...

...to take in.

Maybe you can just give us a sec.

- Of course we can. - Absolutely. Um, we... we'll leave you. Um...

Anything you need, we'll be right outside, if you need anything.

Yeah, thanks. Thanks, Doc. Yeah. Uh...

Thank you. Thank you, Doc.

- Here, your real name really Simon Cowell? - That's a yes from me.

Dad, don't thank Dr. Titfuck like you won the fucking lottery.

- He's a fucking wanker. - Hey, whoa. What?

- He's a wanker! A fucking wanker! - Keep your voice down.

Why? I don't care if he fucking hears me.

Mum begged him to have that last round of chemo. She shouldn't have had it.

Now she can't have surgery that would save her life.

Keep your voice down, please, Molly.

And you can't send her on some posh fucking holiday, Julia.

There's nothing left to pay for now, is there?

Okay, that's actually a bit unfair because

I've been really supportive, Molly,

and I've been very kind.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't... Look... - And very, very calm.

- That's just a little bit much. - Don't fucking kick off again, you two.

- You're endlessly fucking at each other. - Okay, stop. Just stop it.

- Yes, it's ridiculous, Molly. - It is!

- Stop being so aggressive. - You stop it.

- It's not the time to blame people. - I'm not aggressive. Stop talking.

- I'm not blaming. - I knew this would happen.

I knew this would happen. Piss off.

- I knew this was gonna happen. I really-- - Stop! Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it! Stop!

Look, I'm gonna go and check on our dying mother

if anyone would care to join me.

You two need to sort your shit out.

- Look, Connor. Con. - Love, I'm watching you.

- You got that? - Shut up!

- Shut up, Dad. - Fucking pair of you.

Well, I can't...

Second floor. Doors opening.

...nach Bristol.

All right.

Follow me to...

- Yeah! - Shall we go and see Nanna, darling?

- Nanna. - Nanna. Yeah.

Okay, so this is June's room.

She's very tired after the operation and still a bit drowsy.

She's unlikely to remember everything you say,

so best to keep things simple for now.

There's a buzzer by her bed, and I'm just down the hall if you need me.

All right. Thanks.

Thanks, mate. Thank you.

All right.

June?

Junie?

Hmm?

- Are you all right? - Oh, Bernard. Oh, Bernard.

I'm trying to get Bake Off,

and the lady said I was to press this button.

- When I did it, it just went all black. - Oh, I'll see what I can do.

I can't make any promises.

Thanks, Bern.

- Hi, Mummy. - Hi.

Hi, Mummy.

- Oh! - Mummy.

Oh, Julia, you shouldn't have come, darling.

- You've got work. - Of course I'd come.

Come and see Nanna, aren't we?

Be careful, darling, because my throat really hurts.

- I mean, all of this area. - Oh, all right.

We're being careful, aren't we? Yeah.

Mmm.

Aww.

Look at you in your lovely matching sweaters.

- Don't you look sweet? - Hi, Mum.

Both my gorgeous daughters.

Hmm.

- How are you feeling, Mum? - Mmm, well, you know. I'm a bit...

I'm a bit sore, but, I... I'm okay.

I've been locked in this room, I feel like, for days.

Mummy'll give you a little snack.

- The male nurses are so lovely. - Give one to Tibalt.

But the women, oh, they're really grumpy.

They all come round in different ways.

She'll be fine in a little bit.

- I'm Nancy, by the way. - I heard that.

God, darling, do you know, this morning was absolutely terrifying.

I woke up, and I felt like I was breathing through this thin red straw, and...

and so I went downstairs, and I was... What was I doing?

Making myself a cup of tea in the kitchen.

And, uh, then... then I felt like I was drowning.

It was horrible, and then it all went black.

- That's terrifying. - It wasn't very nice, no.

- Can I have a cuddle with the baby? - Oh, yes.

Course you can.

Mum, be careful. Careful.

- Oof. - Careful, careful.

- It's Nanna! - Oh!

Baby June.

There you are.

You are gorgeous.

Oh! I think she looks more like me every day.

It's lucky she hasn't got your chin, isn't it, Molly? Hmm?

Hmm. Where's Con?

- Right here, Mum. - Darling.

I'm sure you told them all to come, didn't you?

- Course I did. - Mmm.

That reminds me.

What's that, Mum?

When I woke up this morning, I saw the birds outside the window,

and I thought, why don't we have goose for Christmas?

What do you think, Con? Shall we?

- Yeah. Yeah, let's... We'll do a goose. - Yeah.

- That's a brilliant... brilliant plan. - You know turkey... turkey's very boring.

- It's always very dry, isn't it? - Yeah.

- Goose is a great idea, Mum. - Juicy.

- We've had turkey every year. - We should order one from Butler's.

They'll give you a discount if you smile.

I've always liked a cheap bird.

- Oof. - Dad!

- Ooh, ooh, ooh. - Careful.

- Careful. - Don't make me laugh, Bern.

Don't laugh too hard.

Fuck. Oh shit, oh shit.

Give me that.

Silly old Grandad.

Try and see your family not as anger

or a disturbance to your energy,

but as a separate energy altogether.

Stay neutral.

Breathe into your heart space.

Hi, I'm Jenny.

- It's nice to meet you. - I'm Patrick.

- Um, Connor. - Hi. Jenny.

- Lovely to meet you. - Hello.

- Hello. - Patrick.

- Connor. - Lovely to meet you.

- Hi, nice to meet you. Hi. - Lovely to meet you.

- We're the palliative care team. - From...

Yes, it says that on your thingies.

- Oh yeah, so it does, yeah. Course. - Silly me.

So what we'd like to talk about--

Actually, could you just stop talking for a second?

I just wanna figure out what I need to say here.

Look, I know that your job is to help people die. Nobody says it.

It doesn't say it on the leaflets, but that is ultimately your job, isn't it?

Here's what's gonna happen.

We are going to take my mother home as soon as possible.

So you're not gonna get to sit stroking her hand

while slowly killing her with opiates

or counsel us through the toughest days of our life.

Uh... uh... Our life?

Her life. Her life, of course.

- What you can do-- - Can I just say--

No, you can't, Patrick. Sorry.

What... what you can do is make sure that everything is in place

so that we can take her home tomorrow.

- Um... Mols, just... - Yeah?

- Yeah? - I think...

Well, our mother's a really clever woman.

- And, like, she knows her own mind. - Yeah.

She does. She... she... she knows what she does and doesn't want.

- Yeah. - Our mother's a really clever woman.

She knows her own mind. She knows what she does and doesn't want.

And even if she is aware of her situation,

she may have consciously made a decision just to ignore it.

Denial.

Powerful survival tool.

I'm so sorry. It's been a really challenging day.

- We haven't... - We...

- One more thing-- - If you can forgive my sister...

My mother will most certainly...

I know because I spend, next to Connor, most time with her.

My mother will most certainly not want to go into hospice.

So don't even think about bringing hospice up, okay?

- Ignore it. - Right.

Um, that's what she chose in her advanced care plan.

- And with it being Christmas... - What?

...the hospices are overcrowded anyway.

- So we-- - Sorry, wait. What advanced care plan?

Yes, we met her here a few weeks ago and discussed it.

We... Sorry, we thought you'd be aware.

- So what was discussed? - What? Advanced care plan?

- When... - Where's she fucking advancing to?

- Wait. One at a time, you two. - Did...

Stop it. Uh... Sorry.

What... what was discussed?

- So our job is to set out all the options. - Well, you've done that.

So you can go now.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you!

Oh, my yoga mat. Shit. Wait, I forgot my mat!

Stop, stop! Sorry.

Thank you.

Hello!

- Have some. Want some, no? Fancy it? - Yes!

Go on. Here you are, then. Try that, then. Here.

There you are. All right.

Second floor.

Squares. These are called applications.

- Yeah. Uh... - Okay?

What was all that white stuff coming down outside?

Hi. Hi, everyone.

- Oh, Hels. - I'm here.

Oh!

- Hey! Hels Bells! - You made it! Well done.

- Oh, Mummy. Oh, you're breathing. - Brilliant. You're here. Wow, wow.

Oh, God, you look amazing. Your skin's, like, iridescent.

- Hmm. - I brought you these.

I'll just... Is that all right?

- How did you get here, darling? - Oh, I just hopped on a plane.

You know, I told you, never wear yellow.

- 'Cause it doesn't suit you, darling. - Oh my God!

- Mmm. - Mwah!

- It's lovely to see you anyway. - So nice to see you, yeah.

Can't believe I'm here!

God! Was the flight okay?

- Yeah, so easy, yeah. - Oh, great.

- It was all fine. - Put on a few extra inches.

You're startin' to look like me!

- Oh yeah. Um... - Oh my God.

- Guys... - Oh my God!

- Fuck off. - Yay!

- What? What the fuck? - Are you okay?

- Holy shit! - Oh my God!

- Aaah! - Congratulations!

- Thank you! - Fucking hell.

- Thank you! I know, I know! - Oh my God, Mum!

That was a fucking surprise.

I was waiting to tell everyone at Christmas in person.

- But here I am. - What--

- Here we are. - Shit.

- Look, Mummy. - Oh, darling.

- I can't-- - A nice little squidgy grandbaby for you.

Due on Easter Sunday. How lovely is that?

- Give me a cuddle. - I wanted to tell you before Christmas.

- I can't believe this. I genuinely can't. - What's the row about?

- Are you all right? - She's pregnant.

- She's pregnant. Having a baby. - Wash your ears out.

- Oh. - Oh! Look at you!

You look amazing!

You're so big now.

- Do you remember me? - No!

Oh no!

- Tibby. - Oh, that's terrible.

- Bagsy not telling Helen that Mum's dying. - It's Auntie Hels!

You do know me! Oh my God, I've missed you so much.

- So much! - One, two, three, four, five... seven.

Eight grandkids, June!

Oh my God, look who it is! Hello, Ben!

- Is Matt happy? - Uh...

Where is he? Is he coming?

Yeah, he's, um... he's at a silent retreat at the moment.

- Aww. - Helen's having a baby!

Um, I think I'm just gonna... I'm gonna...

Mum, I'm gonna see if someone can fix the telly.

- All right? - You look well.

No, I don't... I don't want to know. I think...

Fuck.

Oh fuck.

Second floor.

Doors opening.

Doors closing.

Slow. Go slow. Hold my arm if you want to.

- No! - All right, okay. All right.

- See! - I've got it.

Fifth floor.

Doors opening.

- So I... - Bern?

What?

Isn't it time, maybe... you know, they were all going?

Yeah, yeah, all right.

- All right. - Okay.

- Of course. - That's a good idea.

Come on, sweetie, come. Up we go.

- Up we get. Good boy. - Love you, Mum. Love you, Dad.

- Bye, darling. - Good boy.

- Dad. - You're gonna...

- Bye-bye. Bye, Dad. I'll ring you. - Bye.

All right. Come on, then, sweetie. Let's go.

You all right, Junie?

That's a big family, June.

So lovely they can all be here for you.

Mmm. It's unusual.

It hasn't happened like that for... I can't remember how long.

Families.

Yeah, well...

Hi...

Oh! There he is.

- How you doing? - I'm fine.

How are you?

Yeah.

Better get Dad back.

- Dad? - Yeah?

Dad!

Hit him, will you?

Mr. Cheshire?

Mr. Cheshire?

- All right... - Ooh...

- All right, love... - It's, um... it's time to go home now.

Oh.

- Unbelievable. - Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh...

- Love you, Mum. - All right, my darling.

- Love you. - Careful. Yeah. Ow!

She'll wear you out.

- Night, darling. - All right. Tallyho!

Night night. Oh, thank you.

Oh.

Oh goodness.

Do you want to talk about anything, June?

Oh God, no.

That's a relief.

What's your name? I'm sorry, I've forgotten.

Angeli Ikande.

- Angeli? - Mm-hmm.

My grandma had a dream

and was told I was gonna be born, apparently,

so I was named Angel.

- That's what it means. - Angel.

What a beautiful name.

Thank you.

- Good night, June. - Good night.

Buzzer's there if you need me.

Don't... I won't do that here.

- Oh crap. - What?

- The door's stuck. Fuck. - Is it?

- What is it? Oh. Oh. - What's that noise? Oh fuck.

- There's water coming from the ceiling. - Oh fuck... Eh?

There's water coming from the ceiling.

- I'll put the lights on. - No, don't touch the lights!

- Fuck's sake. - Not good, is it?

- Oh. - Oh, for God's sake.

Um, you wanna get a... get a flannel or something, Con?

- I've got it. - You left the tap on, Dad!

I've never...

I've never found a better culinary pairing

than Guinness and pork scratchings, Con.

- I... I never... - Dad, shut up.

- I can't hear what Helen's saying. - What?

Yep. Uh...

Go...

- Okay. - Go on, Hels.

If Mum can't go home, she'll have to stay at mine, and that's that.

- Do you mean to your house, Molly? - Of course. Who else's?

To stay with her?

- Ask... ask her. - Yes, to stay with me.

And then Connor and you and Dad, Helen, can stay with Julia.

Yeah. Yeah, great, whatever. Yeah.

Absolutely fine. That's a very good idea.

- Plenty of room. Yeah. - Okay, okay.

- That's good. - Yeah.

Oh my God. How... how did this even happen?

Dad forgot to turn the taps off.

No, I never. No, I never did.

- Absolutely unbelievable. - It is unbelievable.

Mercury is in retrograde though. You know that.

Okay, moving on.

- What if... - What if...

No, Mum's just gonna come and stay at mine.

No, no, what... what if...

- Sorry, I... - No.

- No. - I'm just gonna say this.

- We have got the downstairs space. - No. No.

- No! - With the en suite and underfloor heating.

- So it's ve... very warm. - No.

Really easy.

- We can fit you in there as well, Dad. - Yeah.

- That'd be nice. There's the TV. - Big telly. Fucking big telly.

- It might just be a bit more... - Yeah, that could work.

Go on, say it.

- What? - Roomy.

- I fucking wasn't gonna say it. - Okay. Okay.

Maybe we can find some kind of happy middle ground.

There is no happy middle ground, Helen.

- Yeah, I think I'm gonna go now. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Connie, I'll call you back.

- Jesus. - Oh my God.

- What are you doing? - Just clearing the space.

Because I don't think any of us are okay. It's all a bit stressful.

feel like there's this big ball of... of red energy, and it's not good.

We have to visualize giving the ball a big hug

and then just letting it go off into the ether.

So I think... I think you'll be comfortable at mine.

I mean, Dad had a really good sleep last night.

- And there's a plan, I think... - Yeah.

...that we're all happy with, so don't worry.

It was definitely frozen pipes, Junie.

I... I think it's that old plumbing, you know.

Do you know, I think I'll...

I think I'll just stay here, if that's all right.

Hmm?

If no one minds.

I feel safe here, darling.

Well, that's great you feel safe, Mummy. That's all that matters.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

The team would probably think that's wise too, June. Hmm.

Yeah, okay.

Darling, anyway, you look exhausted.

You've got too much work.

- Hmm. - You could do with a tan.

Mmm. Yeah.

Could you look after this for me, darling? Look, it keeps slipping off.

It's, um... I think my fingers have shrunk.

Is there anything more I can do for you, anything to make you more comfortable?

Um...

June, do you remember we were chatting this morning

about the blood thinners you've been having?

- You wanted me to remind you. - Yes, that's right. Uh...

I hate that needle in my tummy every day.

I mean, what's that for?

We don't want you to have any more complications,

and deep vein thrombosis can be very nasty.

I don't want those things now.

I just wish I could go to the loo. You know, I can't do that.

- I'll have a chat with him. - Ah. Yes.

In that case, we will need you to sign on a little dotted line, I'm afraid.

Yeah, well, Jules can sign that for me, can't you, darling?

Hmm. Yes, of course. Well, look, I'm very glad you decided to stay.

I'll tell you what. We could have a little chat.

- And then I can maybe do those forms now? - Yes.

- I've got them in the office. - Okay.

- Toodle-oo. I'll pop back tomorrow. - Bye, Doctor.

- I'll be back in a sec. - Yes.

Dr. Titford...

Maybe we can decorate the room like it's... like it's home.

- Sure. - Get a Christmas tree.

And put some nice tinsel up and stuff. I mean, that'd be lovely.

- I'd love that - They're freezing.

- Lovely idea. - Yeah, nice, Hels.

What are you doing?

I'm just filling in this form.

Mum doesn't want the blood thinner, so I have to sign this thing.

Why are you signing it?

Because I've got power of attorney, Molly, that's why.

Oh my God, what the fuck's that on your finger?

Mum's ring. She asked me to look after it.

- That's very nice of you, isn't it? - She asked me to look after it.

I'm not keeping it, if that's what you're implying.

- Well, then why did she give it to you? - I don't know, because I was nearest.

She's never gonna give it to Helen to look after, is she?

Well, I'm here now, so you can just give it to me.

No.

It doesn't matter who has it.

She just wanted someone to be responsible for it.

Responsible. Yep, the aura of maturity.

Shame we can't all have it. Um...

I've drawn up a rota, just for visiting hours.

Obviously, Dad can come and go,

but the rest of us should stick to the timetable.

Why... why does there have to be a timetable?

Maybe we should just ask Mum what she wants.

I'm doing this for Mum, Jules.

I made it so you and I don't overlap.

Please don't be difficult about it. I'm just trying to make it nice for her.

None of this stuff is important, you know.

Dr. Titford said that I have to sign this today.

Yeah, I wasn't talking about the forms.

Hi, Mum!

- Nanna! Nanna, Nanna! - Oh my goodness!

- Look at this lot. Hello. - Hello, June!

Hello, everyone.

- What have you got there? - Hi, Nanna. My Advent calendar.

- Your... Did you make this? - I helped.

Did you? Was it a team effort?

Whee!

One, two, three...

- Sh. One sec. - Shall we do that again, Ben?

- I'm all right. - The biggest bobble I've ever seen!

- Louder! - Hokey cokey?

Heads, shoulders, knees and toes

Oh, they've got... Look, little faces! I love them.

When are you coming home?

Um, I will in the end.

- Knees and toes - Okay, you guys.

Let's all go and grab a hot chocolate, shall we?

Don't play with that, because that's Nanna's special thing.

Yeah, Ben, hot chocolate. Can we get marshmallows?

- And whipped cream? - Yeah!

Oh, it's a lovely morning, June.

Perhaps I'll bring you a tea?

- ...in your face... - Don't make it too flat.

No, I won't.

Hi.

Bottle of wine.

- It's not wine. - Bottle of prosecco.

"Dickens character visited by ghosts."

- Go on? - Scrooge.

Yeah! Bloody hell!

- You've seen... You looked at these! - No, promise. No, no.

I'm gonna do this one. Uh, seven across...

- You all right, June? - Uh, right, 11 down.

Nothing. Nothing.

Benji would like that.

- It's all right, Gran. - Here.

Oh!

Trick it. Try and trick it.

Don't fuss, darling.

- Cake. I love cake. - Yeah!

- I love cake. - Yummy.

- The trumpet! - The trumpet! Well done!

- Snap! - Oh!

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

- And that'll take you forward. - Yeah.

Same again on the right hand.

- All right? - Oh, okay.

- Okay, enjoy your adventure. - Oh.

- Thank you. Thank you. - Oh, hey.

- What's happening in there? - Oh, um...

He's too ill to tick off his bucket list, so we had a little fundraiser

and... got him one of those.

- Oh! Oh! - Oh!

- He's climbing Everest this morning. - More? More?

- Yes. - Yes!

Oh, it's wonderful.

Yeah!

Bethlehem?

We have to travel all the way to Bethlehem?

That's so far!

And Mary is, well...

well, she's about to have a baby!

Connor.

She loves you very much, you know.

I don't want her to die.

My mum died in hospital.

When I was eight.

I wasn't there. I was at school, so I missed it.

All the grown-ups around me kept saying, "She wasn't in any pain," and

I'll always have a mum in my heart, and...

and she is, she is in my heart, but...

everything else they said was rubbish.

They all told me that she was ready.

But I'll never really know.

It would've been easier if I'd known when she was gonna go.

That's why I...

I make it my duty

to make sure people get good goodbyes.

That's all that matters.

June, here you are.

Thank you.

Oh, disgusting.

I feel so... undignified.

Everything's... such an effort.

Well, June, you're actually doing wonderfully.

We've all been saying what a trouper you are.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's lovely.

Thank you, darling.

Oh?

What's that? Is that... that Ray Charles?

- You know what? I don't actually know. - Oh.

Oh. Maybe it's Sinatra?

- That's it. - Oh...

No, no, it sounds... sounds like Ray Charles.

Okay, you stay standing for me, June.

That's it.

You all right?

- Mmm. - Okay.

- Lovely. - You know, I don't really like Sinatra.

- Ready? - Or Bob Dylan, actually.

Or Picasso.

Mmph.

I mean, I've never admitted it.

'Cause, you know, you can't really say what you think.

Can you?

- Right. Ready? - Mm-hmm.

You know, Bernie used to sing Ray Charles to me.

Doesn't do that anymore.

- Ready? - Mmm.

Come on.

Three, two, one.

And how's the pain? Do you want a top-up of the morph?

Do you know, I think I will.

Or do... do you think I should wait till later?

Well, I think you're very good at being brave, June.

But today doesn't need to be the day for that.

So why don't I get you a cup of tea and some drugs,

and we can watch a bit of Bake Off?

- How does that sound? - Sounds like bliss.

- Morning, Nadiya. - Morning.

- Nadiya, tell us... - Oh, I love her.

So I'm doing a chocolate tart with chocolate pastry,

and then it's gonna have a layer of salted caramel and peanut,

and then a layer of chocolate mousse, and...

- How do you think they're doing? - Nadiya will make...

- Your lot? - Mmm.

- ... chocolate mousse... - Not too bad.

- ...and chocolate ganache. - Connor's a sweet soul, isn't he?

- Truffle and... - Yes, he is. He's wonderful.

I mean, the way he looks after me is wonderful.

I'm gonna use something called tapioca maltodextrin...

I'm not sure about how the girls are doing, June.

Hard to say.

Oh, babe, you sure you can manage?

Yeah, yeah, no, of course I can manage, darling.

- Sorry. I'm just tired. Uh... sorry... - Sorry, I didn't hear what you said.

There's a dodgy patch in the kitchen, and you dropped out. What did you say?

It doesn't matter.

It really doesn't matter. Don't worry.

Fuck! Fucking thing.

Doors opening.

Doors closing.

Oh, and there's a big chance. Acapulco...

Oh fu... Oh, oh, look!

- Look at Acapulco! Pass, you plonker! - Sh!

- Oh fuck! Oh, what was that? - Dad!

- Sh! Sh! - Oh, you're stupid, mate! Stupid!

You're a stupid fake, mate! Fuck!

- Hi. - Oh, hiya.

How's, um... how's everyone doing?

What the bloody hell's that?

- A fridge? - What's that?

Yeah, yes, it is.

You could've told me earlier. I've been drinking warm ones all morning.

I thought it would be useful to keep things in

for when you have visitors, Mum.

You know, wine and snacks and things, you know.

Cheese and crackers.

- Heineken. - Gah!

What? What was that?

Oh fuck! Look, bloody... I could've scored from there!

A bloody toe could've scored from there!

- Dad, shut up. - Darling, is that really necessary?

I mean, no one's gon... gonna be coming to see me

because they'll be busy with their Christmases, so...

- Mummy. - You know.

So many people love you. Of course they'll want to come.

Heather and Derek from number 58 have said they'd love to pop in.

No, no, no. Please tell them not... not to bother.

I'll be seeing them on Boxing Day for drinks anyway, so...

- And that's one-nil... - Okay.

Well, listen, I'm not stopping.

I'll be back at seven.

- When I've got the ravioli from Franco's. - Can you take that off me, darling?

- It's very heavy. - Oh yes, horrible thing. All right.

Pass, you plonker! Oh!

- Give Franco my love, will you? - Yeah.

- I always thought he was very dishy. - Yeah, of course I will.

- All right, I'll see you later. - Here, here, wait for me.

You can give me a lift to the offie now we've got that fridge.

Yeah, make myself useful.

Right, grab my wheelchair there, will you, Jules?

You are unbelievable.

- No, you can walk to the car, fatty. - All right.

Well, I hope you've parked nearby.

We can get some fish and chips on the way back, Jules.

- Fuck's sake. Come on, say bye to Mum. - Kebab or something. All right.

- Bye, darling. See you in a bit. - Come on.

All right!

- I'm a bit stiff from sitting down. - Your coat, Dad.

- I've been there a long time. - Still need it.

Read... to me, Con.

I'm not really good at reading out loud to people, Mum.

Always makes me feel like I'm gonna be sick.

This... is a good time to try.

"If there are any heavens

My mother will

All by herself, have one

It will not be a pansy heaven

Nor a fragile heaven Of... lilies of the valley

But it will be a heaven

Of black-red roses

My father will be deep like a rose

Tall like a rose..."

How are we?

Yeah.

What does that mean?

You all right?

Where's Mum? Is she in the loo?

Oh, for fuck's sake, she's been in there too long.

We should check on her.

- No... - She could be dead!

You know she's really, um...

she's really weak.

You know that, don't you?

She's not good.

Okay, I mean, I can't bear it.

I'm just gonna check on her. I'm just gonna do it.

Mummy?

Do you need a hand in there?

Oh my God, I'm just gonna go in.

Are you all right, Mum?

Darling, why are you wearing yellow? I told you, it really doesn't suit you.

Hmm.

Oh, no, no, don't hold my hand, darling.

You... your palms are all sweaty.

Oh. Sorry.

Matt isn't coming for Christmas, is he?

No.

He's... He can't. He can't come.

Hmm.

- Oh, my stomach. - Oh God.

- My stomach hurts. - Oh, Mummy.

- Could I have a... - What, a nurse?

- No. No. Could I have a-- - A hug?

No, no, no. Shut up, Helen.

- I just want a glass of water, please. - Yes.

Darling, my mouth's so dry, and... ugh.

My tongue tastes horrible.

Here you go. Here, here.

Mmm.

- Is that enough? - Mmm.

Oh, I love you, darling.

I love you too, Mum.

I love this one too.

Can't wait to give it a cuddle, see its little face.

I love the scent of a newborn baby.

Oh God, it's freezing.

Um...

Dad's gone to the pub. Uh, here's the key to the side door.

- How is she? - Uh, she's quite hot.

So I've been spritzing her with Evian spray.

Okay.

Oh. Oh, Hels.

- Oh no. - I just...

- Sorry. I... - Oh God, oh God, oh God.

Look, I... I know this is selfish, but...

I mean, yours and Molly's kids have... you know, they've got a nanna.

And, I don't know, I just always thought if I actually ever did have a kid, um...

it'd have the best nanna in the whole world.

Aww.

And I'd have my mum to help me with all of it, and...

Mmm.

You know, and maybe a family of my own.

- Oh God. Oh God. - Come on.

I'm a geriatric pregnant spinster who puts crystals in her bloody bra,

and I don't know why it took me so long to have a baby.

I was just busy doing other stuff,

and now I'm just really scared, Jules,

because I'm gonna be a rubbish mum.

Oh, no, no, no, stop. No. No. Come on.

- Yes, I am. - No, stop it. Stop. Stop.

Look at me. Look.

Okay, first of all...

...you are gonna be a great mum, and Matt's gonna be a brilliant dad.

- Um, no, no, he's not. - Oh, come on, of course he is.

- No, it's-- - Of course he is. Come on.

He's not gonna be a brilliant dad, 'cause he's not the dad.

We split up ages ago.

What?

I always thought we were in an open relationship,

but it turns out it was just me who was sleeping with other people.

Okay. Okay, fuck.

- Yeah. - Okay.

So... so... who's the dad, then?

Gustav.

- Gustav? - Yeah.

This is what he does. He, um...

Out of the goodness of his heart, he has sex with people to help them have a baby.

No charge.

My friend Genevieve did it, and it worked the first time.

- I promise you, it's absolutely legal. - Mmm.

I had to sign something that says he doesn't have any responsibilities.

Okay.

But he... he was really nice about it all.

- Aww. - Honestly.

- Okay, okay. - Honestly.

Good. That's good.

I just... I just left it too late.

It was my only option.

You should've said something sooner, you wally.

I know. Don't tell anyone.

- Okay. - No, wait, can you? Can...

Can you tell them for me? Please.

- 'Cause I can't bear it. - Okay.

- Yeah, okay. - Oh, thank you.

- It's all gonna be okay. - Aww.

Oh God.

Oh!

Thank goodness you're here.

Helen was driving me crazy.

Oh God, Mum.

- Can you... bring me up, darling? - Oh, yeah.

This one, then this one. There we go.

- How are you feeling? - Mmph.

There. Okay?

I'm never gonna see that baby, am I?

I... I don't think you are, Mum.

But they'll be... they'll be fine, really.

- Helen will be okay, I promise. - Oh God.

Don't talk about it. You'll make me cry.

No, all right. No, don't. Let's... Oh, here.

Stop. Here we are. Come on. Come on.

- Take that there. - Thank you.

- Anyway, what have we got for tonight? - Right.

- We have got... - Mm-hmm?

...ravioli with butter and sage.

Oh! Oh, that sounds delicious.

- I know. - Can I have a sniff of it?

Let's see... There we go. Oh my God.

- Mmm. - Oh, yes, here.

Oh!

That's wonderful.

Maybe... maybe I'll have some later. Mmm?

- Mummy. - Yeah?

I've got something to show you.

It's snowing!

Oh!

Oh!

I love watching the snow fall.

Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll come back as snow.

And then I'll see you all at Christmastime.

Yeah.

Where's Dad?

Oh, he's just back at the house.

He'll probably... he'll... he'll pop in later, I expect.

You will look after him, won't you, darling, when I'm gone?

- Course I will. - Promise?

- Of course I will. - Yeah, 'cause you're the strong one.

Mum, now, look, you just... Just... don't you worry, okay?

About any of this. Just don't worry about them.

They will... they will all be fine.

I... I... I'll make sure they are. I will.

Yes, but, you know, not in the...

in that overbearing sort of way that you do sometimes, all right?

Okay.

Hmm.

You don't mind if I die, do you, darling?

Mum.

No. No, Mum.

- Mummy, of course I don't mind. - Good.

Good. That makes me feel better.

Have you got any mascara?

Um... Yeah, I think... I think I have got some.

Come on, then. Make me look presentable.

I've never died before. I wanna look nice when it happens.

Okay.

- Mmm? - Okay.

- A bit of lipstick as well, maybe. - All right.

There we go.

Morning, June.

How are we this morning?

Have you seen this?

Well, a rota.

- Helpful? - Take a proper look at it.

Oh, I see. There's no, uh... crossover between Julia and Molly.

- Is that... that what you mean? - She's done that deliberately.

Oh.

It's been like that for years.

I mean, I really... I wish they'd sort it out, I really do.

Families are hard, June.

Girls are harder than boys.

And I've got three of them.

I think I say the wrong things.

I mean, I just... I just say it how it is.

Well, it seems to be a great strength of yours, June,

so why aren't you doing it now?

I need to get them in here together.

Are you sure they'd come?

They would if they thought I was about to die.

That's it. Baby steps.

I can take you now.

- Hello? - Hello. Is this Julia?

- Yes, it's me. - This is Nurse Angel from Princess Mary.

Oh God, is everything okay?

She's asking for you. I think you should come in.

"...to go to sleep with."

- "But Dave kept waking up." - Oh, Jerry, take the baby.

- I have to go to the hospital. - You all right?

I'll see you soon, my darlings.

- Bye. - Is Mum okay?

Yeah. She's fine, yeah.

Will she be back in time for breakfast?

Yeah, she'll be back very soon, I would think, yeah.

Now then, Junie, you've come in halfway through the story here.

You don't know what's goin' on, do you? Shall we start from the beginning?

Tib, what do you think? From the beginning?

Yeah. Okay, Dad.

- Uh, Bernie? - Mmm?

It's, uh, time for June's bed bath.

Now, you're welcome to stay,

or bacon sandwiches are on special in the canteen.

It's up to you.

Oh, right. Uh... my...

- Oh. - Yeah.

All right.

All right, love. I... I'll, uh...

Won't be long.

Fuck. Oh!

That's a solid return there.

And after three months, see how the transformation went,

and find out if this "have a go" paid off.

Coming up, another chance...

Mmm.

Mmm.

Bread's a bit...

I don't want it.

Fucking miserable places, aren't they, eh?

Hmm!

Miserable. Fucking miserable. Miserable. Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, here they come.

Hi.

Mum.

You know, uh... I feel fine now.

It was a false alarm, I think. Silly me.

Perhaps I should leave you to it.

I want to write a letter.

For the baby. For Helen.

For both of them. I thought maybe you girls could help me.

Got a piece of paper?

You didn't have to terrify us. Bloody hell, Mum.

Yes, I did.

You little shits.

Now sit down.

I lost my foot, you know.

Yeah.

Um...

Been about your age, yeah.

Yeah, my little 'un, he was only two, my youngest.

On the barge.

Great big one, a great big oceangoing one, yeah.

Yeah, no, we were mooring, and, um,

the rope got, uh, caught,

and the boat moved,

and it, like... like, squeezed it,

wound itself round, like, and squeezed it fucking...

fucking clean off!

Oop!

Yeah!

Yeah, I know, they stitched it back on, like, yeah.

Amazing, really, innit? Yeah, they...

put me back together.

Stitched it back on, put me back together.

Yeah.

Only not up here though.

"And your aunties, Mol and Julia, will be there for you,

because, even though I know they've had their differences,

I also know that they love each other, really."

"I love them both so much,

but I love them twice as much when they love each other."

Do you wanna go first, or...

I wanted to be exactly like you when I was little.

I would've done anything you asked me.

I wanted to wear what you wore,

have the same fizzy drink with two straws in it.

Same crisps, fuck's sake.

I even asked for a hamster 'cause you got one for your birthday.

I fucking hate hamsters.

I was 13 when you left home, and I hated you for leaving.

I hated you for going because I loved having you around.

And then you didn't come home as much, and I just felt like I never saw you.

And I think I felt a bit abandoned.

Then you became this big, successful person,

and I was still digging around down the back of the sofa

for spare change.

Can you not see how that just would've driven me completely insane?

And you've always had such nice hair. It's so fucking annoying.

Jules?

Do you want a Snickers?

Yeah.

Thanks.

And you've got Tom, perfect Tom.

You know, I got pregnant as soon as I met Jerry,

and I was 22 weeks, I think, before I found out.

It's amazing Syd's all right, really.

I spent the entire time

smoking weed and drinking vodka.

I've always been juggling so much.

I was terrified I was gonna drop one of my kids

or leave one behind.

In fact, I did.

I left Ella by the baggage carousel at Heathrow once.

And Tom, yeah...

Yeah, Tom's... he's lovely.

But he works on the other side of the flipping world. I'm, um,

on my own most of the time.

At least you've got Jerry around.

It's not always helpful having Jerry around.

But the point is you... you've got a choice.

I wish I could stay at home with my kids.

That's the one thing I can't do.

I have so many responsibilities.

I have to pay for our life.

Mum and Dad's mortgage, and then your mortgage when you can't,

which I know we're not supposed to talk about.

Helen's therapy.

Connor's next crisis.

I do it all.

Mum's dying, but it's the most time I've spent with my kids in years.

And then there's the guilt.

All the school plays I've missed and the football matches and...

You know, you're that mother who stands on the sidelines,

handing out the homemade flapjacks.

Oh...

You... you're really there for them.

You're so lucky.

Do you remember those sandals, the ones with the...

two blue flowers and a red flower across the toe?

Um...

No.

Yeah, you do. Mum got you them that Hayling Island holiday.

You remember them.

And I was so jealous that I held my breath and passed out.

Dad was so cross with me and you that he threw us out and made us walk.

Threw us out of the car.

And then Connor

was so upset, he was sick in Helen's hair.

We had to go back and get me a pair to match.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I remember.

And then we had the exact same ones.

We were matching.

And then... you left one of yours, the left foot, on the beach.

We went back, but we couldn't find it.

Oh yeah.

And, do you remember, I lost the left foot of my pair?

Oh...

Why are we talking about this?

'Cause I didn't lose it.

I buried it.

- What? - I buried it, in the garden at number 75.

'Cause I wanted to be matching.

Oh!

Look.

I know that, um, I have wanted

to circumcise your face for quite some time.

But I know you're a really good person.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

Do you wanna cook the Christmas dinner together?

Yeah.

That'd be really nice.

There.

"Wancer."

What's "wancer"?

Wanker, darling.

There you go. Ten mils of morphine, June.

It'll drip through nice and slow over the next ten hours.

Mmm.

Means you'll get some sleep tonight. I'll pop back in a bit.

You can't have wanker with a C, Mum. That's not even a proper word.

Oh, let me cheat.

I haven't cheated enough in my life.

Honestly, I wish I'd been a bit more of a slut.

You know, misbehaved a bit more. Go on.

Go on, put it back.

Yeah.

How's your sister?

We're cooking Christmas lunch together.

Mmm.

Mummy.

Oh. Mmm.

Hey, what... what time is it?

Hello, sleepyhead.

Hmm?

- Dad? - Huh?

Can you move your beers?

I made some space in the fridge.

Uh... well... yeah, all right, yeah.

I do need a wee. Uh... yeah.

Will do, yeah.

Oof.

Dad, while you're in there,

can you just get Mum's Christmas vase from that box, give it a rinse out?

It's just a bit dusty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I trimmed some holly we can put in it later.

Sh!

- Dad! - What?

- Do it quietly. - Yeah, all right, yeah.

Uh, all right, Con--

Connor, wait. Connor. Connor, wait!

- All right, Con! - That was Mum's bloody Christmas vase.

- Yeah, I know, but-- - Dad, that's one of my first memories. Sh!

Sh!

- My mum, your wife... - Yeah.

...is about to die.

- Yeah, I-- - She's gonna die really fucking soon.

You do realize that, don't you?

'Cause all I've seen you do is... is fucking sleep

and... and make shit jokes and drink

and do the crossword puzzle

and not give a shit about anyone.

- Con. - Or anything except for yourself.

Have you even noticed where we are, Dad?

You're being completely pathetic!

Please just be there for Mum

and fucking wake up!

Do you even still love her, Dad?

Hmm?

I'm going to the pub.

Fuck.

Whoo! Whoo!

Thank you very much! Thank you.

Thank you, everyone.

Next up onstage, someone you all know.

Barry, has... Barry, has my dad been in?

Give me a sec, Con.

- Be with you in two ticks, yeah? - All right.

I'm Bernie, and, um...

Uh, I'm gonna be singing a song, uh, tonight

called, uh, "Georgia," uh...

Yes, it's for my wife.

Some of you might know her, actually.

I know I definitely do.

Um...

- Uh, her name's not Georgia. - Fuck.

It's, uh, June, Junie.

And, uh...

well, she's not here tonight because, um...

she's...

well, 'cause she's...

she's in hospital, and, um...

she... she's not gonna be, um...

not gonna be around...

uh, for much longer.

Um...

I wanted to sing this because...

so... so she knows...

I have been a bit of a...

bit of an arsehole...

Uh...

Bit of a shit dad to... my boy and...

They're good kids. So, anyway, I ju...

This is for all of them. Anyway, here we go.

Georgia

Oh, Georgia...

...peace I...

Just an old sweet song

Keeps Georgia

On my mind

I said Georgia

Oh, Georgia

A song of you

Comes as sweet and clear

As moonlight

Through the pine

Other arms reach out to me

Other eyes smile tenderly

Still in peaceful dreams I see

The road

Leads back... back to you, Junie

Oh, June

Oh, my Junie

No peace

No peace I find

Just an old sweet song

Keeps my Junie

Keeps you on my mind

Keeps my Junie on my mind

See, over the fuckin'...

over the next couple of days, the fucking stink in the car!

We couldn't find...

All right.

- Good luck. - All right.

All right.

- Go on. Go on. - That's it, push. That's it.

All right. Got it.

All right. Yeah.

Oh shit.

Dad?

What?

This was the holly that was gonna go in her Christmas vase.

You should give it to her anyway.

- She'd like that. - Oh, thank you, my boy. Ah.

- Ah. - Yeah.

I'm sorry, my darling.

Junie

Oh, Junie

Junie

Oh, my Junie

Just an old sweet song

Keeps my Junie

On my mind

I said just an old sweet song

Keeps my Junie

On my mind

Will you sing for me when I die, Bernie?

Oh, my Junie.

Leave off. You're not gonna die.

Yes, I am.

Oh, my darling girl.

Con.

Christmas Day tomorrow, Con.

Uh...

- Don't think it is, Dad. - It has to be.

Ah, she's not gonna make it.

Uh...

No, we've gotta do Christmas tomorrow.

Okay.

Yeah.

Happy Christmas, then, Dad.

- Hey? - It's after midnight.

Oh yeah.

Happy Christmas, my boy.

Attention, please, everyone. Now, listen. Now...

Today... today is a very, very special day

because today is Christmas.

- No, it's not! - It's not, Grandad.

- Christmas is next week. - Uh, excuse me. Yes, it is.

It's Christmas for your nanna.

I'm sorry, but do you... do you all love your nanna?

Yeah.

Well, that was crap, wasn't it? Now, do you all love your nanna?

- Yes! - Yay!

Right, now, are we gonna make this

the best Christmas the world has ever seen?

- Yes! - Yes what?

- Yes, please! - Excellent.

Don't be scared, Con.

Just live your life.

Just be exactly who you are.

Thank you for being my mum.

Whoa! Steady!

Aah! Come on, come on!

- I'm back. - Get everything?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Jingle bells, jingle bells... - Where are the geese, Jerry?

- Well, about the gooses... - Jerry, where are the geese?

Don't freak out, but I got something better.

- Dashing through the snow - Okay?

In a one-horse open sleigh

Go on, ask me.

O'er the fields we go

What the fuck are those?

They are gooduckens.

- Making spirits bright... - What?

So that is a boneless chicken stuffed inside a boneless duck.

You're thinking, "Is that it?" No!

'Cause they've all been stuffed inside a boneless goose.

And that is apparently a real thing. Boom. You're welcome.

And... and I got those for the same price as two gooses.

That's six birds for the price of two!

All right? Who's the bloody king of shopping now, eh?

I love you, you big idiot.

Together in a one-horse...

If someone asked us what this felt like,

I don't think I'd be able to describe it.

No.

Waiting for someone to die.

- I'm starving. - Yeah.

It's not even eleven o'clock.

I daren't move because he'll wake up.

Do you want a sandwich? I can go to the canteen.

- Yeah, have you got cash? - Bring it here. Yeah, I've got my card.

Okay.

All right.

I'll just be here.

- Do you want shit cheese or shit prawn? - Both.

Okay. Here's the stickers.

- Hey. - You all right?

Yeah, thanks. I'm just gonna get a sandwich.

Okay.

Guys, quick!

Got a surprise for you, Mum.

- Take you somewhere nice. - Yeah.

Okay.

- You ready? - I got this.

Let's go.

Where am I going?

- Mind the corner. - Whee!

What is first, the shepherds or the kings?

I think it's the shepherds first, then the kings.

Where are the crowns? Have you got a crown?

Can you have a little look for me, see if they're coming?

- Have a little peek. - Sheep first.

- Ben! Let's see. Is Nanna coming? - Like a swing.

- Can you see her? Is she coming? - Yes, but...

- I was Mary. - Is she?

No Nanna.

- No one? - No one.

- Only a chair. - Right.

This way.

Doors opening.

Come in!

Doors closing.

Here, Nanna.

I made this for you.

It's for our show.

- Is this your crown or this one? - We've gotta find...

- Great, Syd. - This is your one?

Tib, we've gotta work out a way of...

You've gotta be a sheep first.

- Then we gotta put the crown on quick. - Is she all right?

- Yeah, sheep first. - Sheep.

- And then crown. - Then crown.

Tib, Tib, turn it off.

Merry Christmas, Nanna.

Stay here. I'm gonna go tell the others.

Alfie, where's the donkey?

- Guys, quick. She's here! - Oh, she's coming.

- She's here. - Ready?

Okay, listen. Remember, I did Pirates of Penzance when I was a kid.

- The director said, "Pace, pace, pace." - Dad, stop.

Okay? It's all about pace.

- Quick, Tibalt. Tib, turn it off. - Wait!

What does he do?

Where's the donkey?

And where's the mat for the first scene?

Grandad, you picked one...

Guys, where's my beard?

- Here's your beard. - Where's my beard?

- Billy, where's... - Okay, quick.

- Is this good? - Have we got everything?

- Well, too bad. Get it in. - Where is it... Oh no.

Hurry up!

The children have got a surprise for you.

- It's there! Good enough? - A white coat'll be the sheep?

- Shh! - It's fine.

- Guys, someone help-- - Grandad!

- Sh! - Tibby. Tibby, come here.

- What? - Where's the donkey?

My hair.

- Ella! My hair! - It's good!

You need to get ready.

Welcome to the Nativity, Nanna.

Ahem.

"In a small town called Nazareth,

there lived a young woman named Mary."

Stop peeking!

"One day, an angel named Gabriel appeared

and told her she was gonna have a baby."

"People said it was a miracle, an immaculate conception."

Immaculate conception, much like this one here.

Not really. I had a bit more fun than that.

- Helen, stop it. - Sorry.

Anyway, um, "Mary and Joseph went down to Bethlehem to have their baby."

Little donkey, little donkey

On the dusty road

Billy, get on!

- Got to keep on plodding onward - This way. Come on.

With your precious load

Who goes there?

Um, hi, sir.

My wife's having a baby.

Congratulations.

Have you got any room?

Uh...

It's Christmas, mate. We're fully booked.

But you can go in the stable if you want.

It's a bit drafty, but should be okay.

How much?

Um...

Ten... old monies.

- I'll pay you later. - Deal.

Come on, Mary. It's nice and warm in there.

Yes, you can have a little lie down.

Joseph, the baby, it's coming.

Focus. You can do this.

Come on, Mary. Dig deep.

Come on.

Breathe!

Come on. Push!

Push! Push!

Yay! Whoo-hoo!

What shall we call it?

How about... Jesus?

Sounds good.

Meanwhile, the heavenly, beautiful, angelic Gabriel

found the shepherds and the Wise Men.

- Shepherds? Wise Man. - And presented them to baby Jesus.

- Shepherd... Yeah. - They brought him some gold...

...frankincense...

...and myrrh!

- You got the gold? - There you go.

All right, push it. Okay.

- That's it. Come on, this way. - Come on, Tib.

Come on. Look, Jesus!

- We got you gold! Frankincense! - Oh, lovely!

And myrrh!

Hooray!

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

Round yon virgin, mother and child

Away in a manger

No crib for a bed

The little Lord Jesus

Laid down his sweet head

The stars in the bright sky

Looked down where he lay

The little Lord Jesus

Asleep on the hay

The cattle are lowing

The baby awakes

But little Lord Jesus

No crying he makes...

- Daddy. - It's time.

I'm all right. No, I'm all right. I'm all right.

Oh God.

My Junie.

Junie

Oh, Junie

Just an old sweet song

Keeps my Junie

On my mind

I said Junie

Oh, my Junie

A song of you

Comes as sweet and clear

As moonlight through the pines

- Lovely. - What've you got?

- Dad, want to come and sit with me? - Gooducken two years in a row.

- Practically a tradition now. - Yes!

Hello, you dear little thing.

What have you got?

I hope that one day, you read this letter

and feel that you've met me, somewhat.

I would've loved nothing more than to meet you.

You're gorgeous. I know you are.

I bet you look just like your mummy.

She's a very special person, you know.

She's never cared what other people think,

and I've always admired that about her.

But please tell her Nanna said

she really mustn't wear yellow.

She'll listen to you.

I wish I could be there for your arrival,

but you've got a wonderful family to welcome you.

Your aunties, Molly and Julia,

and your uncle Connor

will always hold your hand,

and they will love you no matter what.

- Shh! - Like I do.

So much.

I'm so excited for you to get to know this beautiful world.

You've got it all to look forward to, my darling.

Make lots of memories.

Good memories help you live forever.

Just like me.

Wow!

Right. Wow.

Oh, now, remember to be silly, and don't take things too seriously.

It's important to have a good laugh.

Your grandad will show you how to do that.

- Can I try some? - Absolutely nothing!

Please tell Mummy that I miss her.

Tibby!

And I'm so proud of her.

And never, please, never stop telling her

that you love her.

It will make her heart sing.

- Makes your lips a bit tingly! - Oh, yeah, well...

- Oh, yeah... - It's making them tingle.

I've had a wonderful life

simply being part of this family.

My greatest achievement

and my biggest adventure.

Raise your glasses.

To June.

- To Nanna. - To Mum.

- June. - To Mum.

- To Mum. - Merry Christmas, Dad.

We love you.

Cheers, darling.

If you ever need me, I'm still here,

just pottering around in all my old memories,

jumping from one to the next.

Benji! Benji, it's snowing!

- Aah! - Hooray!

I will forever be here, my angel,

in heart and soul

until we meet one day.

I love you.

I love you all.

Goodbye.

June.

A mother's song can never be unheard

Her soothin' voice can calm

The stormy seas with just one word

Little ones You'll miss me when I'm gone

Go ahead and cry but not for long

The coming snow Will let you know I'm here

It falls down slow, so gentle, so

To kiss you on your ear

See me in the songs we used to play

That way I will never go away

And when you cry remember

The love I had with you

And always try remember

The last thing we would do

We would have our good goodbye

Just before I close my eyes

We would have our good goodbye

Just before I close my eyes

And when you cry remember

The love I had with you

And always try remember

The last thing we would do

We would have our good goodbye

Just before I close my eyes

We would have our good goodbye

Just before I close my eyes