Original subtitles

There's something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy.

I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.

I just don't understand Christmas, I guess.

I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and

that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.

Charlie Brown, you're the only... person I know who can take a wonderful season

like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the

Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.

Nobody sent me a Christmas card today.

I almost wish there weren't a holiday season.

I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize

Thanks for the Christmas card you sent me, Violet.

I didn't send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown.

Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?

Finn, you're the only person I know who can raise a cloud of dust in a

snowstorm.

Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue.

It's fun.

Mmm, needs sugar.

It's too early.

I never eat December snowflakes.

I always wait until January.

They sure look ripe to me.

I think you're so smart with that blanket.

What are you going to do with it when you grow up?

Maybe I'll make it into a sport coat.

I think you have a customer.

May I help you?

in sad shape.

Wait a minute. Before you begin, I must ask that you pay in advance.

Five cents, please.

Boy, what a sound. How I love to hear that old money plink. That beautiful

of cold, hard cash.

That beautiful, beautiful sound. Nickels, nickels, nickels. That

of plinking nickels.

All right, now.

What seems to be your trouble?

I feel depressed.

I know I should be happy, but I'm not.

Well, as they say on TV, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates

that you are not too far gone.

I think we better pinpoint your fears. If we can find out what you're afraid

we can label it. Are you afraid of responsibility?

If you are, then you have hypongiophobia.

I don't think that's quite it. How about cats? If you're afraid of cats, you

have ailerophagia.

Well, sort of.

But I'm not sure.

Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacophobia.

Maybe you have thalassophobia.

This is fear of the ocean. Or jeferobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges.

Or maybe you have pantophobia.

Do you think you have pantophobia?

What's pantophobia?

The fear of everything.

That's it!

Actually, Lucy, my trouble is Christmas.

I just don't understand it.

Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down. You need involvement.

You need to get involved in some real Christmas project.

How would you like to be the director of our Christmas play? Me?

You want me to be the director of the Christmas play?

Sure, Charlie Brown. We need a director. You need involvement.

We've got a shepherd, musicians, animals, everyone you need. We've even

Christmas queen.

I don't know anything about directing a Christmas play.

Don't worry. I'll be there to help you. I'll meet you at the auditorium.

Incidentally, I know how you feel about all this Christmas business. Getting

depressed and all that. It happens to me every year.

I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle

or clothes or something like that.

What is it you want?

Real estate.

What's this?

Find the true meaning of Christmas when money, money, money, spectacular, super

colossal, neighborhood Christmas lights and display contest.

Lights and display contest?

Oh, no.

My own doggone commercial. I can't stand it. Oh.

I've been looking for you, big brother.

Will you please... write a letter to Santa Claus for me? Well, I don't have

time. I'm supposed to get down to the school auditorium and direct a Christmas

play. You write it and I'll tell you what I want to say.

Okay, shoot.

Dear Santa Claus, how have you been? Did you have a nice summer?

How is your wife?

I have been extra good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I

Oh, brother.

Please note the size and color of each item and send as many as possible.

If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself.

Just send money.

How about tens and twenties?

Tens and twenties?

Oh, even my baby sister.

All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.

and we'll start rehearsal.

Director? What director?

Charlie Brown.

Oh, no. We're doomed.

This will be the worst Christmas play ever.

Here he comes. Attention, everyone.

Here's our director.

Man's best friend.

Well, it's real good seeing y 'all here.

As you know, we are going to put on the Christmas play. Due to the shortage of

time, we'll get right down to work. One of the first things to ensure a good

performance is strict attention to the director.

I'll keep my direction simple.

If I point to the right, it means focus attention stage right. If I make a

slashing motion across my throat, it means cut the scene short. If I make a

revolving motion with my hand, it means pick up the tempo.

If I spread my hands apart, it means slow down.

It's the spirit of the actors that count.

The interest that they show in their director.

Am I right? I said, am I right?

right now. We're going to do this play and we're going to do it right.

Lucy, get those costumes and scripts and pass them out. Now the script girl will

be handing out your parts.

You're the innkeeper's wife.

Do innkeeper's wives have naturally curly hair?

Pigpen, you're the innkeeper.

In spite of my outward appearance, I shall try to run a neat inn.

Shermie, you're a shepherd.

Every Christmas it's the same.

I always end up playing a shepherd.

Snoopy, you'll have to be all the animals in our play. Can you be a sheep?

How about a cow?

How about a penguin?

Yes, he's even a good penguin.

No, no, no.

Listen, all of you. You've got to take direction. You've got to have

You've got to have respect for your director.

I ought to slug you.

Ugh! I've been kissed by a dog!

I have dog germs! Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!

All right, all right, script girl. Continue with the scripts.

Linus, you've got to get rid of that stupid blanket.

And here, memorize... these lines.

I can't memorize these lines. This is ridiculous.

Memorize it and be ready to recite when your cue comes.

I can't memorize something like this so quickly. Why should I be put through

such agony?

Give me one good reason why I should memorize this.

I'll give you five good reasons.

One, two, three, four, five.

Those are good reasons.

Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it's getting too dangerous.

And get rid of that stupid blanket. What's a Christmas shepherd going to

like holding a stupid blanket like that?

Well, this is one Christmas shepherd who's going to keep his trusty blanket

him. See?

You wouldn't hit an innocent shepherd, would you?

Okay, Mr. Director. The cast is set. Take over.

All right. Let's have a quiet.

Places, everybody.

Schroeder. Set the mood for the first scene.

Cut! Cut! No, no, no!

Look, let's rehearse the scene at the inn. Frida, this is... This can't go on.

There's too much dust.

It's taking the curl out of my naturally curly hair.

Don't think of it as dust.

Think of it as maybe the soil of some great past civilization.

Maybe the soil of ancient Babylon.

It staggers the imagination.

He may be carrying soil that was tried upon by Solomon.

Or even Nebuchadnezzar.

Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn't it? You're an

absolute mess.

Just look at yourself.

On the contrary, I didn't think I looked that good.

Sally, come here.

What do you want her for?

She's going to be your wife.

Good grief.

Isn't he the cutest thing?

He has the nicest sense of humor.

Lunch break!

Lunch break!

Lunch break?

All right, now. There's no time for foolishness.

We've got to get on with our play.

That's right.

What about my part?

What about the Christmas queen, hmm?

Are you going to let all this beauty go to waste?

You do think I'm beautiful, don't you, Charlie Brown?

You didn't answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didn't you?

If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would have spoken right

I know when I've been insulted. I know when I've been insulted. Good grief.

Let's take it from the top again.

Places.

Action.

Charlie Brown, isn't it a great play?

That does it. Now look, if we're ever to get this play off the ground, we've got

to have some cooperation.

What's the matter? What's the matter, Charlie Brown? Don't you think it's

It's all wrong.

Look, Charlie, let's face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial

racket. It's run by a big eastern syndicate, you know.

Well, this is one play that's not going to be commercial.

Look, Charlie Brown, what do you want?

The proper mood. We need a Christmas tree.

Hey, perhaps a tree. A great, big, shiny, aluminum Christmas tree.

That's it, Charlie Brown. You get the tree.

I'll handle this crowd.

Okay, I'll take Linus with me. The rest of you practice your lines.

Get the biggest aluminum tree you can find, Charlie Brown. Maybe paint it

Yeah, do something right for a change, Charlie Brown.

I don't know, Linus. I just don't know.

Well, I guess we better concentrate on finding a nice Christmas tree.

I suggest we try those searchlights, Charlie Brown.

This really brings Christmas close to a person.

Fantastic.

Gee, do they still make wooden Christmas trees?

This little green one here seems to need a home.

I don't know, Charlie Brown.

Remember what Lucy said?

This doesn't seem to fit the modern spirit.

I don't care.

We'll decorate it, and it'll be just right for our play.

Besides, I think it needs me.

I selected for the Christmas play.

What kind of Christmas music is that?

Beethoven Christmas music.

What has Beethoven got to do with Christmas?

Everyone talks about how great Beethoven was. Beethoven wasn't so great.

What do you mean Beethoven wasn't so great?

He never got his picture on bubblegum cards, did he?

Have you ever seen his picture on a bubblegum card?

Hmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubblegum

cards? Good grief.

Say, by the way, can you play Jingle Bells?

No, no. I mean Jingle Bells. You know, deck them halls and all that stuff.

No, no. You don't get it at all. I mean Jingle Bells. You know, Santa Claus and

Ho Ho Ho and mistletoe and presents to pretty girls.

Stupid Charlie Brown.

What kind of a tree is that?

You were supposed to get a good tree.

Can't you even tell a good tree from a poor tree? I told you he'd goof it up.

He's not the kind you can depend on to do anything right. You're hopeless,

Charlie Brown. Completely hopeless.

Rats.

You've been dumb before, Charlie Brown, but this time you really did it.

I guess you were right, Linus. I shouldn't have picked this little tree.

Everything I do turns into a disaster.

I guess I really don't know what Christmas is all about.

Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

Sure, Charlie Brown. I can tell you what Christmas is all about.

Lights, please.

And there were... in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping

watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them,

and the glory of the Lord shone round about them.

And they were sore afraid, and the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I

bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is

born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you.

He shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising

God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill

toward men.

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

For behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ

Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you.

Linus is right.

I won't let all this commercialism ruin my Christmas.

I'll take this little tree home and decorate it. And I'll show him it really

will work in our play.

This commercial dog is not going to ruin my Christmas.

I've killed it.

Oh, everything I touch gets ruined.

I never thought it was such a bad little tree.

It's not bad at all, really.

Maybe it just needs a little love.

Charlie Brown is a blockhead.

But he did get a nice tree.

No, isn't it? Don't worry about it. Just lean forward and jiggle your feet.

I think I've changed my mind.

If I had known you were only going that far, I would have stayed in.

Here we go. We put it in fast forward, and here we go.

Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?

It's not even Thanksgiving yet. By the time Christmas comes, all the needles

will be falling off.

Don't hang it near the turkey.

Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?

It isn't even Thanksgiving yet.

Would you like to buy a Thanksgiving wreath?

Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?

Do you know what you are doing?

Don't you realize you're adding to the over -commercializing of Christmas?

Not till I sell one.

Good morning. This is a Christmas wreath.

Thank you. I love samples.

I give up. I can't imagine anyone else having as much trouble as I do selling

Christmas wreaths.

Good morning, sir.

Would you like to buy a nice Christmas wreath?

Merry Christmas anyway, sir. God bless us, everyone, said Tiny Tim the last of

all, and joy to the world.

Rats.

What are you up to, big brother?

I'm trying to sell Christmas wreaths from door to door.

Getting on the old commercial bandwagon, eh? Going after those... Big holiday

bucks, huh?

Need any help?

Good morning. Ask your mama she would like to buy a Christmas wreath. Tell her

they were made from the famous forest of Lebanon.

You can read about them in the second chapter of the second book of

If you buy two, we'll throw in an autographed photo of King Solomon.

You can't tell people these wreaths were made from the force of Lebanon.

That's lying.

Good morning. Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath made from some junky

branches my brother found in a Christmas tree lot?

You wouldn't, would you? And I can't say I blame you.

See, your way doesn't work either.

I think we need better packaging. We need a better... way to show off our

product.

Good morning. Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?

Guess what, Chuck?

Disaster time.

Our teacher wants us to read a book during Christmas vacation.

Got any suggestions?

On what book to read?

No, on how to get out of it.

I'm not going to have to read a book, Marcy.

See? A Tale of Two Cities was just on TV.

I watched the movie, so now I won't have to read the book.

The only thing I didn't understand were the parts about the shampoo, the soap,

and the coffee.

Those were the commercials, sir.

I'd like to read this book, Marcy, but I'm kind of afraid.

I had a grandfather who didn't think much of reading.

He always said if you read too many books, your head would fall off.

You start the first chapter, sir, and I'll hold on to your head.

Why aren't you reading your book, sir?

It's too nice a day to stay inside and read, Marcy.

Besides, I have to build this snowman.

If I don't do it, no one else will.

And he'll never exist.

I'm his creator.

It's my duty to give him life.

This no man has a right to live, Marcy.

You're weird, sir.

Marcy, what book were you supposed to read during Thanksgiving vacation?

This is Christmas vacation, sir.

Christmas vacation?

How can I read something during Christmas vacation when I didn't read

supposed to read during Thanksgiving vacation?

Duck, sir. Easter is coming.

What are we going to hear today, Marcy?

Handel's Messiah.

The most exciting part is when they get to the Hallelujah Chorus and everyone

stands.

Standing is exciting?

It's the Hallelujah Chorus, sir. Everyone is standing up.

Their what?

Standing up.

Yipe!

Everywhere we go, Marcy, you embarrass me.

What was Handel's first name, Marcy?

I'm ashamed to admit I don't know.

I'll just have to guess.

I suppose we're going to have to listen to that bell ringing every time we walk

by here now.

Wouldn't you think he could do something besides ring a bell?

Just ignore that Santa Claus, Linus. There's nothing he can do to you.

I don't think you're a real Santa Claus. What do you have to say about that?

I don't think you're the real Santa Claus.

If you're the real Santa where are your helpers?

That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

You mean giving.

Christmas is the joy of giving.

I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about.

Giving. The only real joy is giving.

Like wow.

I'm making out my Christmas list.

Now how do you spell your name?

I'm your brother.

And you don't even know how to spell my name?

I'll put down Sam. I know how to spell that.

What was his name again?

Santa Claus.

Any middle initial?

No, I don't think so. At least I've never heard of one.

How about his wife?

Do you know her name? Well, sometimes you hear people say her name is Merry

Christmas. Really?

That's very interesting.

Maybe I'll... Write to her instead.

The what?

The candy kings that were on the tree.

They're all gone.

Have you looked outside?

Outside?

Tell me about Christmas, Linus.

How did all this Christmas stuff start anyway?

Except for the part of getting lots of presents. I don't see what all the fuss

is about. Well, this is from the second chapter of Luke. You know what I hate? I

hate shopping.

And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping

watch... I haven't gotten food for my brother for Christmas yet.

And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them. Everything cost so much.

And the glory of the Lord... I don't want to spend a lot. ...showed round

them, and they were sore afraid.

Actually, I don't... really want to spend any money at all. And the angel

unto them... I wonder if I can get him something for free.

Is that it? I always thought the Christmas story was longer than that.

On the first day of Christmas... That song drives me crazy.

What in the world is a calling bird?

A calling bird is a kind of partridge.

In 1 Samuel 26, 20...

It says, For the king of Israel has come out to seek my life, just as though he

were hunting the calling bird.

There's a play on words here, you see.

David was standing on a mountain calling, and he compared himself to a

being hunted.

Isn't that fascinating?

If I get socks again for Christmas this year, I'll go even more crazy.

I remember reading that Albert Schweitzer...

dreaded the thought of receiving Christmas gifts.

And do you know why that was?

It was because he hated having to write thank you notes.

What do you think about that?

Who's Albert Schweitzer?

Yes, ma 'am. I'd like to buy a Christmas present for a girl I know. I was

thinking maybe a pair of gloves.

Would it help if I described her?

Well, she has ten fingers.

$25 for a pair of gloves?

I'm sorry, ma 'am. That's more than I can afford.

Could I maybe buy just a thumb?

I wanted to buy Peggy Jean some gloves for Christmas, but they cost $25.

She's going to be disappointed when she finds out her boyfriend is a cheapskate.

I'm not a cheapskate.

I just don't have $25.

Put it on your credit card.

I don't have a credit card.

So long, Peggy Jean.

I'd like to give Peggy Jean a nice pair of gloves for Christmas, but I can't

afford it.

If she really likes you, Charlie Brown, she'll appreciate anything you give her.

If you don't give her exactly what she's expecting, she'll hate you for the rest

of your life.

You know why I want to buy Peggy Jean those gloves for Christmas?

When I first met her this summer at camp, I noticed what pretty hands she

want those pretty hands to be warm.

But I don't have $25 to buy the gloves.

Send her a nice card and tell her to keep her hands in her pocket.

See? There they are.

Those are the gloves I'd like to buy Peggy Jean for Christmas.

Where are you going to get $25?

That's the problem.

Maybe you can sell your dog.

I take it back.

He's probably only worth 50 cents.

Yes, ma 'am. I'm looking at those gloves again. I wish I could get them for this

girl I know, but I can't afford them.

I'd just like to stand here and pretend I'm buying them for her.

Sorry, ma 'am. I didn't realize I was fogging up the glass.

Go ahead, ask him.

Is this the bus stop?

All I have is a dime. Will I get change?

Do you have a Billie Jean King?

Are these all you have?

Yes, ma 'am. I stole my whole collection of comic books.

See? Here's the money.

Now I can buy those gloves for that girl I like.

Brownie Charles!

Peggy Jean! What are you doing here?

I've been shopping with my mother.

Look! I just bought this new pair of gloves.

And did you buy her the gloves?

Sure. I stole my whole comic book collection to get the money.

Then I met her on the store, and she showed me the new pair of gloves she'd

bought. So you're not going to give her the pair you bought.

Why give her something she already has?

Well, at least they didn't go to waste.

I'm going to ask the teacher if I can be Mary in the Christmas play this year.

She's already asked me, sir.

I think I'll be great in the part.

She asked me yesterday.

I like the part where the angel Gabriel talks to me.

Why would Gabriel talk to you? You never listen.

I can probably wear these same sandals.

Yes, ma 'am. I'd like to volunteer to play the part of Mary in our Christmas

play.

You what?

That's right, sir. She asked me yesterday.

Hey, Chuck, did Mary ever wear glasses?

What do you mean, Mary who?

In the Bible, does it say anything about Mary wearing glasses?

Then how can Marcy play Mary instead of me? And the teacher says I'm going to be

playing a sheep.

Why can't I ever be a wrong number?

to be in the Christmas play.

I'm going to be an angel.

All I have to do is say, Hark!

This is what I have to do in the Christmas play. When the sheep are

dancing, I come out and say, Hark!

Then Harold Angel starts to sing.

Harold Angel?

It's right here in the script.

for the Christmas play.

I live in mortal dread of getting out on the stage and forgetting what I am to

say. Well, if you did, you could always make up something.

That's true.

How about, hey?

Not very biblical.

Here's the line I have to say in the Christmas play. See if I get it right.

You got it.

I've always wondered how actors remember all those lines.

I'm all set for the Christmas play. Do I look like an angel?

You look fine.

Good luck.

Break a leg.

Linus and I will be in the audience.

Christmas play, and I have to be a sheep.

I hate being a sheep.

No pardon a play is small, sir, if it brings joy to the audience.

You do that so well, sir.

Every time there's a Christmas play, I end up being a sheep.

Watch out for the curb here, sir.

What?

Louching towards Bethlehem, huh, sir?

I can't stand it.

in your sheep costume, sir.

Sure, Marcy, sure.

I was up late last night memorizing all my lines.

All your lines.

I can't remember my lines, Marcy.

You're a sheep, sir. All you have to say is bah.

My mind has gone blank.

I'm doomed.

I wonder if this happened to Lawrence Olivier.

Looks like the play will start soon.

Well, you'll have to excuse me, sir. My first theme.

Who wants to be in a Christmas play if they make you be a sheep?

A sheep doesn't get to do anything.

Hark!

I am Gabriel.

Do not be afraid, Mary.

Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord.

I am Gabriel, Mary, and I

couldn't hear you because of the sheep.

to save Bob.

My mind has gone blank.

I'll never remember it. Why do they have to spoil Christmas by making us be in

plays? We're on, sir. Let's show them how.

And there were shepherds in the field keeping watch over their flocks by

This has been a good Christmas play, Charlie Brown.

When does your sister come on?

Right after the dancing sheep.

She steps out and says, Hark!

And then Harold Angel sings.

Harold Angel?

All I know is what she told me.

The sheep are still dancing, Charlie Brown.

Here comes your sister.

Hockey stick?

I said hockey stick.

Why did I say hockey stick?

All I had to say was harp. And I said hockey stick.

I ruined the whole Christmas play.

Everybody hates me. Moses hates me. Luke hates me.

The apostles hate me. All 50 of them.

I don't know. I didn't see the rest of the play.

As soon as Sally said, hockey stick, and everyone laughed, I left.

She gets everything mixed up. She even thought someone named Harold Angel was

going to sing.

Excuse me, somebody's at the door.

Hi, is Sally home? My name is Harold Angel.

around the Christmas tree, opening our presents?

That's when you said it.

That's when I said what?

It was beautiful.

You said, why do we have to be nice to each other only on Christmas?

Why can't we be nice to each other every day?

You drive me crazy.

Joy to the world.

You would think the floor was greased by the way he's moving his feet.

He's a champion.

Some kids have dogs that follow them to school.

I think it's a head, ma 'am.

Shall I throw it in the wastebasket?

Maybe you'd like to see it up close.

I can take it up to your desk, ma 'am.

It's pretty heavy.

It feels like it's full of lead.

There you are, ma 'am.

Now you can get a close look at it.

You missed it, sir.

We've been studying the human head.

Somehow I feel I should get you for something, Marcy.

I love art class.

How's this, ma 'am? 24 cows standing in a pasture.

Each one rendered in exquisite detail.

Maybe I'll add some sheep and rabbits and squirrels.

Ah, a gorgeous pastoral setting.

Now I'll color the sky blue and the grass green. And I'll put in some yellow

flowers.

6 times 12 is 72.

72?

I put down green.

Green? Why did you put down green?

I thought it was a trick question.

My nose is caught in my binder.

I'm trying not to scream.

It's very painful.

May I have permission to see the school nurse?

Or maybe the custodian? We may need a pair of pliers.

Sorry, ma 'am. I'm having trouble seeing where I'm going.

My report?

I'm sorry, ma 'am. It's in my binder. And my binder's caught in my hair.

I've tried whipping it backward and forward.

Ow! Ah!

But nothing seems to help.

Anyway, my report was called, Does Education Have to Be Painful? I think

it does.

I report, it's right here in my binder.

Don't sigh like that, ma 'am. It breaks my heart.

Gym is my favorite class.

I am so dumb I wish all classes were gym.

I sure look forward to gym.

You know, Chuck, I may not get to see that little red -haired girl, and I may

not... I have naturally curly hair like Frida, and I may not be as smart as

Lucy, but I've got one thing none of them has.

I'm in shape!

I run five miles every morning.

I do a hundred push -ups every day.

I pedal every night, take a swim, take a hike. I'm in shape, I'm in shape, I'm

in shape.

She's practicing, never met Daddy, he's programmed.

She's in shape, she's in shape, she's in shape.

When other kids are fading at the finish, when all the others fail to

pace, I saunter around the track and wave to Daddy.

I'm in shape, I'm in shape, I'm in shape.

She's pouting, coming at Daddy, but she's programmed.

She's in shape, she's in shape, she's in shape.

Good night, Sally.

I remember the last time I went to a party.

Linus called up and asked me if I would like to go to a party.

And I said yes.

And then when we got there, Linus asked me if I would like to dance.

And I said yes.

Then after we danced, Linus said, Would you like a glass of punch?

I don't believe that ever happened.

It's my turn now.

about your face.

It's impossible to talk to someone when they're making such sour faces.

wolves attacked.

I never see you rounding up sheep.

I'll bet you don't even know what one looks like.

You don't try to follow me to school, and you don't meet me when I come home.

There's nothing worse than owning a dog within a dog.

give me an A for show and tell.

A real live dog.

For show and tell, I brought my

pet chameleon.

His name is George.

And George changes colors with every shirt I wear.

George eats flies and bugs.

Thank you.

Yes,

ma 'am.

Heel, Snoopy.

For show and tell today, I have brought a dog.

Great about that.

He doesn't do anything.

He just stands there. He looks like he's asleep.

A dog is not only man's best friend, but he's also a protector,

a defender, a ferocious friend in...

What to do about Snoopy? I should give him a good lecture, the way he carries

on. You just leave him alone.

That's the first time I ever got an A in show and tag.