All language subtitles for A Charlie Brown Christmas 1965

There's something wrong with me, Linus.
Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy.

I don't feel the way I'm supposed to
feel.

I just don't understand Christmas, I
guess.

I like getting presents and sending
Christmas cards and decorating trees and

that, but I'm still not happy. I always
end up feeling depressed.

Charlie Brown, you're the only... person
I know who can take a wonderful season

like Christmas and turn it into a
problem. Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the

Charlie Browns in the world, you're the
Charlie Browniest.

Nobody sent me a Christmas card today.

I almost wish there weren't a holiday
season.

I know nobody likes me. Why do we have
to have a holiday season to emphasize

Thanks for the Christmas card you sent
me, Violet.

I didn't send you a Christmas card,
Charlie Brown.

Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?

Finn, you're the only person I know who
can raise a cloud of dust in a

snowstorm.

Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue.

It's fun.

Mmm, needs sugar.

It's too early.

I never eat December snowflakes.

I always wait until January.

They sure look ripe to me.

I think you're so smart with that
blanket.

What are you going to do with it when
you grow up?

Maybe I'll make it into a sport coat.

I think you have a customer.

May I help you?

in sad shape.

Wait a minute. Before you begin, I must
ask that you pay in advance.

Five cents, please.

Boy, what a sound. How I love to hear
that old money plink. That beautiful

of cold, hard cash.

That beautiful, beautiful sound.
Nickels, nickels, nickels. That

of plinking nickels.

All right, now.

What seems to be your trouble?

I feel depressed.

I know I should be happy, but I'm not.

Well, as they say on TV, the mere fact
that you realize you need help indicates

that you are not too far gone.

I think we better pinpoint your fears.
If we can find out what you're afraid

we can label it. Are you afraid of
responsibility?

If you are, then you have
hypongiophobia.

I don't think that's quite it. How about
cats? If you're afraid of cats, you

have ailerophagia.

Well, sort of.

But I'm not sure.

Are you afraid of staircases? If you
are, then you have climacophobia.

Maybe you have thalassophobia.

This is fear of the ocean. Or jeferobia,
which is the fear of crossing bridges.

Or maybe you have pantophobia.

Do you think you have pantophobia?

What's pantophobia?

The fear of everything.

That's it!

Actually, Lucy, my trouble is Christmas.

I just don't understand it.

Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of
let down. You need involvement.

You need to get involved in some real
Christmas project.

How would you like to be the director of
our Christmas play? Me?

You want me to be the director of the
Christmas play?

Sure, Charlie Brown. We need a director.
You need involvement.

We've got a shepherd, musicians,
animals, everyone you need. We've even

Christmas queen.

I don't know anything about directing a
Christmas play.

Don't worry. I'll be there to help you.
I'll meet you at the auditorium.

Incidentally, I know how you feel about
all this Christmas business. Getting

depressed and all that. It happens to me
every year.

I never get what I really want. I always
get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle

or clothes or something like that.

What is it you want?

Real estate.

What's this?

Find the true meaning of Christmas when
money, money, money, spectacular, super

colossal, neighborhood Christmas lights
and display contest.

Lights and display contest?

Oh, no.

My own doggone commercial. I can't stand
it. Oh.

I've been looking for you, big brother.

Will you please... write a letter to
Santa Claus for me? Well, I don't have

time. I'm supposed to get down to the
school auditorium and direct a Christmas

play. You write it and I'll tell you
what I want to say.

Okay, shoot.

Dear Santa Claus, how have you been? Did
you have a nice summer?

How is your wife?

I have been extra good this year, so I
have a long list of presents that I

Oh, brother.

Please note the size and color of each
item and send as many as possible.

If it seems too complicated, make it
easy on yourself.

Just send money.

How about tens and twenties?

Tens and twenties?

Oh, even my baby sister.

All I want is what I have coming to me.
All I want is my fair share.

and we'll start rehearsal.

Director? What director?

Charlie Brown.

Oh, no. We're doomed.

This will be the worst Christmas play
ever.

Here he comes. Attention, everyone.

Here's our director.

Man's best friend.

Well, it's real good seeing y 'all here.

As you know, we are going to put on the
Christmas play. Due to the shortage of

time, we'll get right down to work. One
of the first things to ensure a good

performance is strict attention to the
director.

I'll keep my direction simple.

If I point to the right, it means focus
attention stage right. If I make a

slashing motion across my throat, it
means cut the scene short. If I make a

revolving motion with my hand, it means
pick up the tempo.

If I spread my hands apart, it means
slow down.

It's the spirit of the actors that
count.

The interest that they show in their
director.

Am I right? I said, am I right?

right now. We're going to do this play
and we're going to do it right.

Lucy, get those costumes and scripts and
pass them out. Now the script girl will

be handing out your parts.

You're the innkeeper's wife.

Do innkeeper's wives have naturally
curly hair?

Pigpen, you're the innkeeper.

In spite of my outward appearance, I
shall try to run a neat inn.

Shermie, you're a shepherd.

Every Christmas it's the same.

I always end up playing a shepherd.

Snoopy, you'll have to be all the
animals in our play. Can you be a sheep?

How about a cow?

How about a penguin?

Yes, he's even a good penguin.

No, no, no.

Listen, all of you. You've got to take
direction. You've got to have

You've got to have respect for your
director.

I ought to slug you.

Ugh! I've been kissed by a dog!

I have dog germs! Get hot water! Get
some disinfectant! Get some iodine!

All right, all right, script girl.
Continue with the scripts.

Linus, you've got to get rid of that
stupid blanket.

And here, memorize... these lines.

I can't memorize these lines. This is
ridiculous.

Memorize it and be ready to recite when
your cue comes.

I can't memorize something like this so
quickly. Why should I be put through

such agony?

Give me one good reason why I should
memorize this.

I'll give you five good reasons.

One, two, three, four, five.

Those are good reasons.

Christmas is not only getting too
commercial, it's getting too dangerous.

And get rid of that stupid blanket.
What's a Christmas shepherd going to

like holding a stupid blanket like that?

Well, this is one Christmas shepherd
who's going to keep his trusty blanket

him. See?

You wouldn't hit an innocent shepherd,
would you?

Okay, Mr. Director. The cast is set.
Take over.

All right. Let's have a quiet.

Places, everybody.

Schroeder. Set the mood for the first
scene.

Cut! Cut! No, no, no!

Look, let's rehearse the scene at the
inn. Frida, this is... This can't go on.

There's too much dust.

It's taking the curl out of my naturally
curly hair.

Don't think of it as dust.

Think of it as maybe the soil of some
great past civilization.

Maybe the soil of ancient Babylon.

It staggers the imagination.

He may be carrying soil that was tried
upon by Solomon.

Or even Nebuchadnezzar.

Sort of makes you want to treat me with
more respect, doesn't it? You're an

absolute mess.

Just look at yourself.

On the contrary, I didn't think I looked
that good.

Sally, come here.

What do you want her for?

She's going to be your wife.

Good grief.

Isn't he the cutest thing?

He has the nicest sense of humor.

Lunch break!

Lunch break!

Lunch break?

All right, now. There's no time for
foolishness.

We've got to get on with our play.

That's right.

What about my part?

What about the Christmas queen, hmm?

Are you going to let all this beauty go
to waste?

You do think I'm beautiful, don't you,
Charlie Brown?

You didn't answer me right away. You had
to think about it first, didn't you?

If you really had thought I was
beautiful, you would have spoken right

I know when I've been insulted. I know
when I've been insulted. Good grief.

Let's take it from the top again.

Places.

Action.

Charlie Brown, isn't it a great play?

That does it. Now look, if we're ever to
get this play off the ground, we've got

to have some cooperation.

What's the matter? What's the matter,
Charlie Brown? Don't you think it's

It's all wrong.

Look, Charlie, let's face it. We all
know that Christmas is a big commercial

racket. It's run by a big eastern
syndicate, you know.

Well, this is one play that's not going
to be commercial.

Look, Charlie Brown, what do you want?

The proper mood. We need a Christmas
tree.

Hey, perhaps a tree. A great, big,
shiny, aluminum Christmas tree.

That's it, Charlie Brown. You get the
tree.

I'll handle this crowd.

Okay, I'll take Linus with me. The rest
of you practice your lines.

Get the biggest aluminum tree you can
find, Charlie Brown. Maybe paint it

Yeah, do something right for a change,
Charlie Brown.

I don't know, Linus. I just don't know.

Well, I guess we better concentrate on
finding a nice Christmas tree.

I suggest we try those searchlights,
Charlie Brown.

This really brings Christmas close to a
person.

Fantastic.

Gee, do they still make wooden Christmas
trees?

This little green one here seems to need
a home.

I don't know, Charlie Brown.

Remember what Lucy said?

This doesn't seem to fit the modern
spirit.

I don't care.

We'll decorate it, and it'll be just
right for our play.

Besides, I think it needs me.

I selected for the Christmas play.

What kind of Christmas music is that?

Beethoven Christmas music.

What has Beethoven got to do with
Christmas?

Everyone talks about how great Beethoven
was. Beethoven wasn't so great.

What do you mean Beethoven wasn't so
great?

He never got his picture on bubblegum
cards, did he?

Have you ever seen his picture on a
bubblegum card?

Hmm? How can you say someone is great
who's never had his picture on bubblegum

cards? Good grief.

Say, by the way, can you play Jingle
Bells?

No, no. I mean Jingle Bells. You know,
deck them halls and all that stuff.

No, no. You don't get it at all. I mean
Jingle Bells. You know, Santa Claus and

Ho Ho Ho and mistletoe and presents to
pretty girls.

Stupid Charlie Brown.

What kind of a tree is that?

You were supposed to get a good tree.

Can't you even tell a good tree from a
poor tree? I told you he'd goof it up.

He's not the kind you can depend on to
do anything right. You're hopeless,

Charlie Brown. Completely hopeless.

Rats.

You've been dumb before, Charlie Brown,
but this time you really did it.

I guess you were right, Linus. I
shouldn't have picked this little tree.

Everything I do turns into a disaster.

I guess I really don't know what
Christmas is all about.

Isn't there anyone who knows what
Christmas is all about?

Sure, Charlie Brown. I can tell you what
Christmas is all about.

Lights, please.

And there were... in the same country
shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping

watch over their flock by night. And lo,
the angel of the Lord came upon them,

and the glory of the Lord shone round
about them.

And they were sore afraid, and the angel
said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I

bring you tidings of great joy, which
shall be to all people. For unto you is

born this day in the city of David a
Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you.

He shall find the babe wrapped in
swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a
multitude of the heavenly host praising

God, and saying, Glory to God in the
highest, and on earth peace, goodwill

toward men.

That's what Christmas is all about,
Charlie Brown.

For behold, I bring you tidings of great
joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the
city of David a Savior, which is Christ

Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you.

Linus is right.

I won't let all this commercialism ruin
my Christmas.

I'll take this little tree home and
decorate it. And I'll show him it really

will work in our play.

This commercial dog is not going to ruin
my Christmas.

I've killed it.

Oh, everything I touch gets ruined.

I never thought it was such a bad little
tree.

It's not bad at all, really.

Maybe it just needs a little love.

Charlie Brown is a blockhead.

But he did get a nice tree.

No, isn't it? Don't worry about it. Just
lean forward and jiggle your feet.

I think I've changed my mind.

If I had known you were only going that
far, I would have stayed in.

Here we go. We put it in fast forward,
and here we go.

Would you like to buy a Christmas
wreath?

It's not even Thanksgiving yet. By the
time Christmas comes, all the needles

will be falling off.

Don't hang it near the turkey.

Would you like to buy a Christmas
wreath?

It isn't even Thanksgiving yet.

Would you like to buy a Thanksgiving
wreath?

Would you like to buy a Christmas
wreath?

Do you know what you are doing?

Don't you realize you're adding to the
over -commercializing of Christmas?

Not till I sell one.

Good morning. This is a Christmas
wreath.

Thank you. I love samples.

I give up. I can't imagine anyone else
having as much trouble as I do selling

Christmas wreaths.

Good morning, sir.

Would you like to buy a nice Christmas
wreath?

Merry Christmas anyway, sir. God bless
us, everyone, said Tiny Tim the last of

all, and joy to the world.

Rats.

What are you up to, big brother?

I'm trying to sell Christmas wreaths
from door to door.

Getting on the old commercial bandwagon,
eh? Going after those... Big holiday

bucks, huh?

Need any help?

Good morning. Ask your mama she would
like to buy a Christmas wreath. Tell her

they were made from the famous forest of
Lebanon.

You can read about them in the second
chapter of the second book of

If you buy two, we'll throw in an
autographed photo of King Solomon.

You can't tell people these wreaths were
made from the force of Lebanon.

That's lying.

Good morning. Would you like to buy a
Christmas wreath made from some junky

branches my brother found in a Christmas
tree lot?

You wouldn't, would you? And I can't say
I blame you.

See, your way doesn't work either.

I think we need better packaging. We
need a better... way to show off our

product.

Good morning. Would you like to buy a
Christmas wreath?

Guess what, Chuck?

Disaster time.

Our teacher wants us to read a book
during Christmas vacation.

Got any suggestions?

On what book to read?

No, on how to get out of it.

I'm not going to have to read a book,
Marcy.

See? A Tale of Two Cities was just on
TV.

I watched the movie, so now I won't have
to read the book.

The only thing I didn't understand were
the parts about the shampoo, the soap,

and the coffee.

Those were the commercials, sir.

I'd like to read this book, Marcy, but
I'm kind of afraid.

I had a grandfather who didn't think
much of reading.

He always said if you read too many
books, your head would fall off.

You start the first chapter, sir, and
I'll hold on to your head.

Why aren't you reading your book, sir?

It's too nice a day to stay inside and
read, Marcy.

Besides, I have to build this snowman.

If I don't do it, no one else will.

And he'll never exist.

I'm his creator.

It's my duty to give him life.

This no man has a right to live, Marcy.

You're weird, sir.

Marcy, what book were you supposed to
read during Thanksgiving vacation?

This is Christmas vacation, sir.

Christmas vacation?

How can I read something during
Christmas vacation when I didn't read

supposed to read during Thanksgiving
vacation?

Duck, sir. Easter is coming.

What are we going to hear today, Marcy?

Handel's Messiah.

The most exciting part is when they get
to the Hallelujah Chorus and everyone

stands.

Standing is exciting?

It's the Hallelujah Chorus, sir.
Everyone is standing up.

Their what?

Standing up.

Yipe!

Everywhere we go, Marcy, you embarrass
me.

What was Handel's first name, Marcy?

I'm ashamed to admit I don't know.

I'll just have to guess.

I suppose we're going to have to listen
to that bell ringing every time we walk

by here now.

Wouldn't you think he could do something
besides ring a bell?

Just ignore that Santa Claus, Linus.
There's nothing he can do to you.

I don't think you're a real Santa Claus.
What do you have to say about that?

I don't think you're the real Santa
Claus.

If you're the real Santa where are your
helpers?

That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

You mean giving.

Christmas is the joy of giving.

I don't have the slightest idea what
you're talking about.

Giving. The only real joy is giving.

Like wow.

I'm making out my Christmas list.

Now how do you spell your name?

I'm your brother.

And you don't even know how to spell my
name?

I'll put down Sam. I know how to spell
that.

What was his name again?

Santa Claus.

Any middle initial?

No, I don't think so. At least I've
never heard of one.

How about his wife?

Do you know her name? Well, sometimes
you hear people say her name is Merry

Christmas. Really?

That's very interesting.

Maybe I'll... Write to her instead.

The what?

The candy kings that were on the tree.

They're all gone.

Have you looked outside?

Outside?

Tell me about Christmas, Linus.

How did all this Christmas stuff start
anyway?

Except for the part of getting lots of
presents. I don't see what all the fuss

is about. Well, this is from the second
chapter of Luke. You know what I hate? I

hate shopping.

And there were in the same country
shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping

watch... I haven't gotten food for my
brother for Christmas yet.

And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon
them. Everything cost so much.

And the glory of the Lord... I don't
want to spend a lot. ...showed round

them, and they were sore afraid.

Actually, I don't... really want to
spend any money at all. And the angel

unto them... I wonder if I can get him
something for free.

Is that it? I always thought the
Christmas story was longer than that.

On the first day of Christmas... That
song drives me crazy.

What in the world is a calling bird?

A calling bird is a kind of partridge.

In 1 Samuel 26, 20...

It says, For the king of Israel has come
out to seek my life, just as though he

were hunting the calling bird.

There's a play on words here, you see.

David was standing on a mountain
calling, and he compared himself to a

being hunted.

Isn't that fascinating?

If I get socks again for Christmas this
year, I'll go even more crazy.

I remember reading that Albert
Schweitzer...

dreaded the thought of receiving
Christmas gifts.

And do you know why that was?

It was because he hated having to write
thank you notes.

What do you think about that?

Who's Albert Schweitzer?

Yes, ma 'am. I'd like to buy a Christmas
present for a girl I know. I was

thinking maybe a pair of gloves.

Would it help if I described her?

Well, she has ten fingers.

$25 for a pair of gloves?

I'm sorry, ma 'am. That's more than I
can afford.

Could I maybe buy just a thumb?

I wanted to buy Peggy Jean some gloves
for Christmas, but they cost $25.

She's going to be disappointed when she
finds out her boyfriend is a cheapskate.

I'm not a cheapskate.

I just don't have $25.

Put it on your credit card.

I don't have a credit card.

So long, Peggy Jean.

I'd like to give Peggy Jean a nice pair
of gloves for Christmas, but I can't

afford it.

If she really likes you, Charlie Brown,
she'll appreciate anything you give her.

If you don't give her exactly what she's
expecting, she'll hate you for the rest

of your life.

You know why I want to buy Peggy Jean
those gloves for Christmas?

When I first met her this summer at
camp, I noticed what pretty hands she

want those pretty hands to be warm.

But I don't have $25 to buy the gloves.

Send her a nice card and tell her to
keep her hands in her pocket.

See? There they are.

Those are the gloves I'd like to buy
Peggy Jean for Christmas.

Where are you going to get $25?

That's the problem.

Maybe you can sell your dog.

I take it back.

He's probably only worth 50 cents.

Yes, ma 'am. I'm looking at those gloves
again. I wish I could get them for this

girl I know, but I can't afford them.

I'd just like to stand here and pretend
I'm buying them for her.

Sorry, ma 'am. I didn't realize I was
fogging up the glass.

Go ahead, ask him.

Is this the bus stop?

All I have is a dime. Will I get change?

Do you have a Billie Jean King?

Are these all you have?

Yes, ma 'am. I stole my whole collection
of comic books.

See? Here's the money.

Now I can buy those gloves for that girl
I like.

Brownie Charles!

Peggy Jean! What are you doing here?

I've been shopping with my mother.

Look! I just bought this new pair of
gloves.

And did you buy her the gloves?

Sure. I stole my whole comic book
collection to get the money.

Then I met her on the store, and she
showed me the new pair of gloves she'd

bought. So you're not going to give her
the pair you bought.

Why give her something she already has?

Well, at least they didn't go to waste.

I'm going to ask the teacher if I can be
Mary in the Christmas play this year.

She's already asked me, sir.

I think I'll be great in the part.

She asked me yesterday.

I like the part where the angel Gabriel
talks to me.

Why would Gabriel talk to you? You never
listen.

I can probably wear these same sandals.

Yes, ma 'am. I'd like to volunteer to
play the part of Mary in our Christmas

play.

You what?

That's right, sir. She asked me
yesterday.

Hey, Chuck, did Mary ever wear glasses?

What do you mean, Mary who?

In the Bible, does it say anything about
Mary wearing glasses?

Then how can Marcy play Mary instead of
me? And the teacher says I'm going to be

playing a sheep.

Why can't I ever be a wrong number?

to be in the Christmas play.

I'm going to be an angel.

All I have to do is say, Hark!

This is what I have to do in the
Christmas play. When the sheep are

dancing, I come out and say, Hark!

Then Harold Angel starts to sing.

Harold Angel?

It's right here in the script.

for the Christmas play.

I live in mortal dread of getting out on
the stage and forgetting what I am to

say. Well, if you did, you could always
make up something.

That's true.

How about, hey?

Not very biblical.

Here's the line I have to say in the
Christmas play. See if I get it right.

You got it.

I've always wondered how actors remember
all those lines.

I'm all set for the Christmas play. Do I
look like an angel?

You look fine.

Good luck.

Break a leg.

Linus and I will be in the audience.

Christmas play, and I have to be a
sheep.

I hate being a sheep.

No pardon a play is small, sir, if it
brings joy to the audience.

You do that so well, sir.

Every time there's a Christmas play, I
end up being a sheep.

Watch out for the curb here, sir.

What?

Louching towards Bethlehem, huh, sir?

I can't stand it.

in your sheep costume, sir.

Sure, Marcy, sure.

I was up late last night memorizing all
my lines.

All your lines.

I can't remember my lines, Marcy.

You're a sheep, sir. All you have to say
is bah.

My mind has gone blank.

I'm doomed.

I wonder if this happened to Lawrence
Olivier.

Looks like the play will start soon.

Well, you'll have to excuse me, sir. My
first theme.

Who wants to be in a Christmas play if
they make you be a sheep?

A sheep doesn't get to do anything.

Hark!

I am Gabriel.

Do not be afraid, Mary.

Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord.

I am Gabriel, Mary, and I

couldn't hear you because of the sheep.

to save Bob.

My mind has gone blank.

I'll never remember it. Why do they have
to spoil Christmas by making us be in

plays? We're on, sir. Let's show them
how.

And there were shepherds in the field
keeping watch over their flocks by

This has been a good Christmas play,
Charlie Brown.

When does your sister come on?

Right after the dancing sheep.

She steps out and says, Hark!

And then Harold Angel sings.

Harold Angel?

All I know is what she told me.

The sheep are still dancing, Charlie
Brown.

Here comes your sister.

Hockey stick?

I said hockey stick.

Why did I say hockey stick?

All I had to say was harp. And I said
hockey stick.

I ruined the whole Christmas play.

Everybody hates me. Moses hates me. Luke
hates me.

The apostles hate me. All 50 of them.

I don't know. I didn't see the rest of
the play.

As soon as Sally said, hockey stick, and
everyone laughed, I left.

She gets everything mixed up. She even
thought someone named Harold Angel was

going to sing.

Excuse me, somebody's at the door.

Hi, is Sally home? My name is Harold
Angel.

around the Christmas tree, opening our
presents?

That's when you said it.

That's when I said what?

It was beautiful.

You said, why do we have to be nice to
each other only on Christmas?

Why can't we be nice to each other every
day?

You drive me crazy.

Joy to the world.

You would think the floor was greased by
the way he's moving his feet.

He's a champion.

Some kids have dogs that follow them to
school.

I think it's a head, ma 'am.

Shall I throw it in the wastebasket?

Maybe you'd like to see it up close.

I can take it up to your desk, ma 'am.

It's pretty heavy.

It feels like it's full of lead.

There you are, ma 'am.

Now you can get a close look at it.

You missed it, sir.

We've been studying the human head.

Somehow I feel I should get you for
something, Marcy.

I love art class.

How's this, ma 'am? 24 cows standing in
a pasture.

Each one rendered in exquisite detail.

Maybe I'll add some sheep and rabbits
and squirrels.

Ah, a gorgeous pastoral setting.

Now I'll color the sky blue and the
grass green. And I'll put in some yellow

flowers.

6 times 12 is 72.

72?

I put down green.

Green? Why did you put down green?

I thought it was a trick question.

My nose is caught in my binder.

I'm trying not to scream.

It's very painful.

May I have permission to see the school
nurse?

Or maybe the custodian? We may need a
pair of pliers.

Sorry, ma 'am. I'm having trouble seeing
where I'm going.

My report?

I'm sorry, ma 'am. It's in my binder.
And my binder's caught in my hair.

I've tried whipping it backward and
forward.

Ow! Ah!

But nothing seems to help.

Anyway, my report was called, Does
Education Have to Be Painful? I think

it does.

I report, it's right here in my binder.

Don't sigh like that, ma 'am. It breaks
my heart.

Gym is my favorite class.

I am so dumb I wish all classes were
gym.

I sure look forward to gym.

You know, Chuck, I may not get to see
that little red -haired girl, and I may

not... I have naturally curly hair like
Frida, and I may not be as smart as

Lucy, but I've got one thing none of
them has.

I'm in shape!

I run five miles every morning.

I do a hundred push -ups every day.

I pedal every night, take a swim, take a
hike. I'm in shape, I'm in shape, I'm

in shape.

She's practicing, never met Daddy, he's
programmed.

She's in shape, she's in shape, she's in
shape.

When other kids are fading at the
finish, when all the others fail to

pace, I saunter around the track and
wave to Daddy.

I'm in shape, I'm in shape, I'm in
shape.

She's pouting, coming at Daddy, but
she's programmed.

She's in shape, she's in shape, she's in
shape.

Good night, Sally.

I remember the last time I went to a
party.

Linus called up and asked me if I would
like to go to a party.

And I said yes.

And then when we got there, Linus asked
me if I would like to dance.

And I said yes.

Then after we danced, Linus said, Would
you like a glass of punch?

I don't believe that ever happened.

It's my turn now.

about your face.

It's impossible to talk to someone when
they're making such sour faces.

wolves attacked.

I never see you rounding up sheep.

I'll bet you don't even know what one
looks like.

You don't try to follow me to school,
and you don't meet me when I come home.

There's nothing worse than owning a dog
within a dog.

give me an A for show and tell.

A real live dog.

For show and tell, I brought my

pet chameleon.

His name is George.

And George changes colors with every
shirt I wear.

George eats flies and bugs.

Thank you.

Yes,

ma 'am.

Heel, Snoopy.

For show and tell today, I have brought
a dog.

Great about that.

He doesn't do anything.

He just stands there. He looks like he's
asleep.

A dog is not only man's best friend, but
he's also a protector,

a defender, a ferocious friend in...

What to do about Snoopy? I should give
him a good lecture, the way he carries

on. You just leave him alone.

That's the first time I ever got an A in
show and tag.