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1
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♪♪
2
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Oh, my god.
3
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Gabi, guess what I got
from table six?
4
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A hundred dollar tip.
5
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Oh, you gotta give it back.
6
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Mr. Schwartz is senile.
7
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Oh, okay.
Well, I'll give it back to him
8
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as soon as he gets out
of the ladies' room.
9
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Gabi, thank you so much
10
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,223
for getting me this waitressing job.
11
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With this and Soul Spin,
12
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I finally make enough money
to have to pay taxes.
13
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Aww!
14
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You're welcome.
You know, I don't know why
15
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they say friends
shouldn't work together.
16
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This week has been so much fun.
17
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Right?
18
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,703
I think it's made us even closer.
19
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,172
Out! Get out!
20
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- You're a deadbeat!
- (door bell chimes)
21
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Mr. Fancy, what happened to Gary?
22
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(sighs) Let's just say
all that green stuff
23
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,548
in his backpack, not oregano.
24
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I fired him.
25
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,653
I'm gonna need a new manager.
26
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,523
Comes with more power,
more responsibility,
27
00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,024
and more pay.
28
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Anyone interested?
29
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Both: I am!
30
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(theme music playing)
31
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♪ She in the spotlight ♪
32
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♪ And she turn my head ♪
33
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♪ She run a red light ♪
34
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♪ 'Cause she bad like that ♪
35
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♪ I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby ♪
36
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♪ Baby ♪
37
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♪ I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby ♪
38
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What are you doing?
39
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,585
Uh, what do you mean what am I doing?
40
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I'm movin' on up. What are you doing?
41
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I'm movin' on up.
42
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,257
You can't have that manager job.
It's mine.
43
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Is it? 'Cause, uh,
how do I say this nicely?
44
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:38,897
Um, I'm so much more
qualified than you.
45
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,899
Uh, how are you more
qualified than me?
46
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You've been here a week.
47
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(chuckles)
48
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Oh, you're serious.
49
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,307
Gabi, I managed my dad's store,
50
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I went to college, I can do math.
51
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I can do math.
52
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,241
- Eight plus fifteen--
- Yes, that's math!
53
00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,251
Gabi, you're not a manager.
54
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,719
You're a cook.
55
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,821
Okay, first of all, "chef".
56
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:06,125
Second of all, one day,
I'm going to have
57
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,826
my own restaurant
where I'm going to be manager,
58
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:11,096
so I need to know manager-y stuff.
59
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:14,266
Okay, name three things
a manager does.
60
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Makes. More. Money.
61
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,272
Now, girls, uh,
62
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I've made my decision.
63
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,244
Sofia, you're terrific.
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00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,246
Thank you, Mr. Fancy.
It's such an honor to accept--
65
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,413
Yeah, I'm going with Gabi.
66
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:29,982
- What?
- Yes!
67
00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:32,518
But I'm experienced and educated
68
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,952
and have great work ethic.
69
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,254
But she has great cans.
70
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:37,990
You can't hire her for that.
71
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:41,059
Sorry, I forgot this was not 1970.
72
00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:44,429
Okay, how about, uh,
she's been here longer
73
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,165
and, uh, she's got seniority.
74
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,433
Oh, thank you, Mr. Fancy.
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00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,335
You made the right decision.
76
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,205
Good. You'll start right now.
77
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,673
I need supplies ordered
78
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,376
and I need the till to be
balanced by closing.
79
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,144
And if you screw it up,
80
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,280
I'm giving it to Shakira here.
81
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,484
Don't you worry, Mr. Fancy.
82
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That till will be balanced.
83
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Do you even know what a till is?
84
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,157
No.
85
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:13,725
But I don't have to worry about that
86
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,227
"till" closing.
87
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:23,535
Yolanda,
88
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,170
I need help.
89
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,139
What do you want from the top shelf,
90
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:28,207
cookies or crackers?
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00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,811
Neither.
92
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:35,180
You know how Alan and I are
applying to be foster parents?
93
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,216
I am so proud of you guys.
94
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:40,385
And if it's a boy,
you can wear his hand-me-downs.
95
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,755
There was a question
96
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,324
about what we like to do outdoors,
97
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,859
and before I could answer,
"Umbrella drinks,"
98
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,596
Alan wrote down camping.
99
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,398
- Alan camps?
- I know.
100
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,101
Orange vest, camo combat boots.
101
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,103
We're gay, not lesbians.
102
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,675
But apparently, he used to go camping
103
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,011
with his temple,
and now he wants me to go,
104
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,412
and I don't want to.
105
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,915
Why not?
106
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,250
Ooh, it's so much fun.
107
00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,584
You're outside--
108
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,019
Pass.
109
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,421
- In the fresh air--
- Overrated.
110
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:18,690
Okay, Elliot, what's the deal?
111
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All right, I'm afraid!
112
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:23,128
Of what?
113
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,031
Animals, bugs, white men with guns.
114
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,648
That last part I get.
115
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,406
So, you know what?
Just be honest with Alan.
116
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:35,974
I can't.
117
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:39,378
He sees me as strong and rugged.
118
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:44,750
But you're doughy and weak.
119
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,952
Oh, come on.
120
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,720
Stop being a baby. Even I go camping.
121
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:53,525
Yolanda, you can teach me to camp.
122
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Hm.
123
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,296
Might as well.
124
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,997
It's either that or clubbing.
125
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:03,502
Either way, I end up
waking up outside.
126
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,576
(beep)
127
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:16,081
(flat beep)
128
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,351
Well, Ms. Manager,
129
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,853
this is the last receipt of the day.
130
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,489
I guess it's time
for you to balance the till.
131
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,524
Oh, I'm way ahead of you.
132
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,359
I was just waiting for this.
133
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,660
Yoink. Thank you.
134
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,796
Now I can get started. Good night.
135
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,597
Oh, actually, if you don't mind,
136
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,700
I was just gonna grab
myself a fountain drink
137
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,169
and watch the master at work.
138
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,704
Great. Wonderful.
139
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,005
Love the company.
140
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,009
Okay, here is the money...
141
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,245
here are the receipts...
142
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,351
Same height.
143
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:53,585
Balanced.
144
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,723
Okay, so should I just
take over as manager now
145
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,191
or when you get fired tomorrow?
146
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,159
(scoffs) Fired?
147
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,595
Girls with cans like these
never get canned.
148
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,400
Now leave.
149
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,503
Fine, but don't come crying
to me when you need help.
150
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,871
Oh, I won't. I don't need your help.
151
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,373
I don't need anyone's help.
152
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:15,540
(knock on door)
153
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,545
Josh, I need your help.
154
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,555
Okay, I think we got
everything we need.
155
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:31,723
Are you ready, Student?
156
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,824
Ready, Teach'.
157
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:33,859
(chuckles)
158
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,560
You know, you wouldn't be
the first teacher
159
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,229
I've had a drunken hookup with.
160
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,465
Okay, I-- I'm ready.
161
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,667
Great.
162
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,503
I thought we'd first start off
with a basic lesson
163
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,271
in the macro versus
the microeconomic principles
164
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,873
of a small business.
165
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,574
Gabi: (thinking)
I can't believe Sofia thought
166
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,942
I couldn't handle this job.
167
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,345
Everyone knows part of being
a good manager is
168
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,013
figuring out how to
get other people to do
169
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,382
your work for you.
170
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,584
So, that's how buying in bulk
helps you trim some of the fat,
171
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,586
which is an essential principle of...
172
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,255
Speaking of trimming the fat,
173
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,457
Josh sure got rid
of those extra L-B's.
174
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,926
Those new jeans look extra good.
175
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,928
The monetary and the fiscal measures
176
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,764
used by John Maynard Keynes
are exemplified, mm,
177
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,199
here in this pie chart.
178
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,568
Mmm, pie.
179
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,937
Ooh, maybe we should sell
whole pies at the diner
180
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,572
and not just slices.
181
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,641
I'm gonna write that down.
182
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,309
All right, got it?
183
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:25,477
Got it.
184
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,612
Well, now that
the foundation is laid,
185
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,148
I think you are ready to learn
how to balance the till.
186
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,584
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
187
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,253
Actually, I'm more
of a visual learner,
188
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:38,523
so I think that I would learn
by watching you do it first.
189
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,666
Oh, uh, Gabi, before I leave,
190
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,634
I need to talk to you about the till.
191
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:50,669
Here we go.
192
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,804
Oh, uh, was there a problem?
193
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:53,839
Not a one.
194
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,474
You did a fantastic job
195
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,275
with the receipts and the inventory.
196
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,844
- It was perfect.
- What?
197
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,646
Gabi, you've taught me something.
198
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,749
That a dingy broad
can do a man's job.
199
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:07,652
- Good night.
- Wait, wait, wait. Uh, Mr. Fancy,
200
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,689
actually, in addition
to doing such a great job,
201
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,791
I also found a way
for us to save money.
202
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,326
- Oh.
- What?
203
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,595
Mm-hmm. See, uh, I noticed
how much bacon we use,
204
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:20,031
so I ordered 250 pounds of it in bulk
205
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,600
because it's 20% cheaper.
206
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,802
Wow, that's great!
207
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,237
I love a cheap woman.
208
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,809
Well, I hope you bought
toilet paper in bulk,
209
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:33,044
- 'cause you're full of it.
- Oh, please.
210
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,647
Well, at least I didn't get
the job because of my breasts.
211
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,916
Yeah. You'd be under-qualified.
212
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,155
I have an order for Gabi Diamond.
213
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,117
- Yeah, that's me.
- Sign here and it's all yours.
214
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,729
(grunts)
215
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:53,899
What the hell is this?
216
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,133
The farm fresh pork you ordered.
217
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,469
No, no. Too fresh. Too fresh!
218
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,738
I didn't order
an entire freaking pig.
219
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,506
I ordered...
220
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,741
(whispers) bacon.
221
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,644
Not according to this invoice.
222
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:06,912
- Bye now.
- No, no, no. No, no, no.
223
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,346
You gotta-- you gotta take it back.
224
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,748
You gotta go put it back
on the truck.
225
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,583
Sorry. Call the number
on the invoice.
226
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,151
Somebody will pick it up tomorrow.
227
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,420
No, no! But nobody can
know what I did!
228
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,589
Don't worry,
I won't tell your manager.
229
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,124
I am the manager.
230
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,093
- Seriously?
- I know.
231
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,162
I was just trying to save 20%!
232
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,064
Math always gets me in trouble.
233
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,375
You know what, Yolanda?
234
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:40,011
Being in the great outdoors
isn't scary at all.
235
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,780
What did I tell ya?
236
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,381
(brook running)
237
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,749
Is it time for marshmallows?
238
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,484
Oh, you know it!
239
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,691
This is just like being
in the real forest.
240
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,527
Moonlight,
241
00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:57,762
babbling brook, (brook running)
242
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,798
Bigfoot. (laughs)
243
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,740
Josh? I need your help again.
244
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,142
(grunts)
245
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,477
He'll totally help us.
246
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,913
You know, we used to date,
but now we're friends.
247
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,214
It's kind of a long story.
248
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:21,553
Okay, he's not home or he's sleeping.
249
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:23,488
Too bad I still don't work here
and have a key.
250
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,923
- (grunts)
- You're right,
251
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,825
it was a good idea to keep it.
252
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:29,761
(grunts)
253
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:30,962
Okay.
254
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,466
Now I just have to figure out
where to put you.
255
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,937
I think that you're gonna be
the most comfortable--
256
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,899
oh, well, wherever
it is you're going.
257
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,108
(whispers) Josh!
258
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:51,650
(grunts)
259
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,718
Oh, good, you're awake.
260
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,355
Listen, I have a little
favor to ask you.
261
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,690
Um, do you remember when you asked me
262
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,425
to order in bulk for the restaurant?
263
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,093
Well, I did, and there
was a little mix up,
264
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,495
and now I have a pig.
265
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:04,829
(grunts)
266
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,132
Hey! Let me tell it.
267
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,667
See, I can't take it to my apartment
268
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,502
because I can't let
Sofia know what I did,
269
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,871
so I gotta leave it here overnight.
270
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,773
But I promise I'll be back
tomorrow to pick it up.
271
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,708
Is that okay?
272
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,145
- Mm!
- Oh, thank you!
273
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,180
See? Told you he was nice.
274
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,282
(grunts)
275
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,718
Okay, so I've got fruit
276
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,853
and water and corn on the cob
277
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,488
and my old quilt.
278
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:31,523
See?
279
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,058
Listen, I'm really sorry
I gotta leave you alone,
280
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,860
but if Sofia finds out,
she'll huff and she'll puff
281
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,896
and, well, you know the rest.
282
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:38,930
(grunts)
283
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,705
(pig snorting)
284
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:49,607
Yolanda, get back in the tent.
285
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,244
(snorting continues)
286
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:56,748
(whispers) Yolanda!
287
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,316
- (louder) Yolanda!
- Mm?
288
00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,684
I think I hear something!
289
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,320
Yes, a damn fool waking me up
in the middle of the night!
290
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:05,056
Seriously!
291
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,492
I think there's something out there.
292
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,527
It's just the sleep machine.
293
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:10,762
(pig grunts)
294
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,831
Does that sound
like Caribbean Breeze to you?
295
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,867
- (click)
- It's off.
296
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,235
Listen.
297
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,138
See? I told you.
Now go back to sleep.
298
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,342
(pig shrieks)
299
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,779
- Oh, my damn!
- What the hell is that?
300
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,914
(grunts)
301
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,282
It's a chupacabra!
302
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,852
Aah! We're gonna die,
we're gonna die!
303
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:36,955
I'm sorry for every bad thing
I've ever said to you.
304
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,957
- I love you.
- (sobbing)
305
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,860
I love you too!
306
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:42,894
(grunts)
307
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,262
(both scream)
308
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,265
Get him! Get him!
Let me live! Get him!
309
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,633
(cell phone rings)
310
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,243
Josh? Why is he calling at--
311
00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,444
Uh-oh.
312
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,314
Hey, Josh.
313
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,682
What's up?
314
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,987
Why is there a pig on my terrace?
315
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,889
Uh...
316
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:13,825
because you said
I could put him there.
317
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,127
What? Wait, when did I say that?
318
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,562
Tonight.
319
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,164
I went to your office
320
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,666
when you were sleeping, and I
asked you, and you said yes.
321
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,801
No, no, no, no, no, no.
322
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,936
A "yes" when I'm asleep
does not count.
323
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,404
It doesn't?
324
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:31,075
Okay, you just gotta let him
stay there overnight. Okay?
325
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,977
And then tomorrow, you gotta
drop him off at the diner.
326
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,245
If Sofia finds out what I did,
327
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,047
- (footsteps)
- she's gonna walk in right now.
328
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,183
Gabi, who the hell
329
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,818
is calling you
at 3:00 in the morning?
330
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,352
Um...
331
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,922
No, Mr. Fancy, I do not want
332
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:46,090
a one-way ticket to Fancy Town!
333
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,660
Good night!
334
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:50,495
Ugh, what a pig.
335
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,564
You have no idea.
336
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,604
Hi, this is Gabi from Fancy's Diner.
337
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:00,805
I'm just calling to check to see
338
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:02,273
if the pig picker-upper is on his way
339
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,342
to pick up the pig?
340
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,810
Pardon?
341
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:06,911
Perfect.
342
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,582
Josh: Oh, Gabi!
343
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,486
Josh! Hey! Thanks for
bringing the pig here.
344
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,322
Um, listen, again,
I'm really, really sorry.
345
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,023
Yeah, save it for Yolanda and Elliot.
346
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:19,991
You scared the crap out of 'em.
347
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,392
Which reminds me,
348
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,554
you have to have their tent
professionally cleaned.
349
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,532
Oh. My. God.
350
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,200
Sofia, what are you doing here?
351
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,535
I switched you to the night shift.
352
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,136
Well, that is exactly why I'm here.
353
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,171
I knew something was up.
354
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,906
You changing my shift,
balancing the till,
355
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,841
being smart.
356
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,309
I balanced the till!
357
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,545
Of course! He's been helping you!
358
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,013
Well, not anymore. I'm out of here.
359
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,175
Bye!
360
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,219
Okay, I just can't figure out
why the pig is here.
361
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,321
Oh, well, I guess
you're just not as smart as--
362
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,590
The bulk order. (laughs)
363
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,026
You tried to save money
ordering bacon,
364
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,527
and you ordered a pig.
365
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:59,230
Are you finally ready to admit
that I should be manager?
366
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,598
Mr. Fancy: Good morning, everybody!
367
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,433
Fine. You're the manager.
368
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,335
What? No, you gotta get
this pig out of here.
369
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,037
No, no, you gotta get
this pig out of here.
370
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,372
- You're the manager.
- You have to help me
371
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,274
because if he comes back here
and sees the three of us,
372
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,075
- we're going to get fired.
- Okay, fine.
373
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,777
(growls)
374
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,212
- Why is it lying down?
- (pig grunts)
375
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,748
Why is there a little hoof
coming out of its--
376
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,917
Oh, my god, it's pregnant!
377
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,919
- (pig grunts)
- It's giving birth right now!
378
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,120
(shrieks)
379
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,788
- Aww!
- Ew!
380
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,294
Well, what are we gonna do?
381
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,895
I don't know how to deliver a piglet.
382
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,096
Yeah, neither do I.
383
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,933
But I do know how
to distract Mr. Fancy.
384
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,772
Good morning, Mr. Fancy.
385
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:43,934
Can I cook you a little breakfast?
You look hungry.
386
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,209
Thank you.
387
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,744
You keep this up,
388
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,106
you'll find yourself
a sugar daddy in no time.
389
00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:52,817
Let's have those eggs, okay?
390
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,018
With extra bacon.
391
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,121
Can it be veggie bacon?
392
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:01,960
(pig shrieks)
393
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,227
The first two piglets came out fine,
394
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,263
but the first one's stuck
and the mom is in pain.
395
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,098
Sofia...
396
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,167
I think we need to call an adult.
397
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,071
We got one.
398
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,139
What the hell is a pig
doing in my diner?
399
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,941
Um, it's having babies.
400
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,643
And something's wrong!
401
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,186
Are there any doctors in the house?
402
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,582
Who know how to deliver a pig?
403
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:25,616
Oh!
404
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,652
I grew up on a farm in Iowa!
405
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,020
We had a few acres.
406
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,254
Chickens, pigs--
407
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,590
I don't want to hear
your whole life story, okay?
408
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:33,858
- Just get in there.
- Sure.
409
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,380
- Okay?
- Okay.
410
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,062
Nice keister.
411
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,532
This pig is in breach!
412
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,701
Yeah, and she's pregnant.
413
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,138
Whoa, what's going on here?
414
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,007
Uh, the pig you delivered
is delivering.
415
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,142
How could you send us a pregnant pig?
416
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,544
Sorry about that.
We just hired a new manager.
417
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:56,014
- Say no more.
- Well, that explains it.
418
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,517
Girls, this age-appropriate
woman has it covered.
419
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,386
So, uh, send the customers home
420
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,720
and close the diner.
421
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,188
Okay, great. When do you
want us to come back?
422
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,356
How's never?
423
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,159
I don't want to see you again.
424
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,028
Unless it's on Snapchat.
425
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,329
(pig shrieks)
426
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,663
Out you go.
427
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,198
(shrieks)
428
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,709
Can't believe Mr. Fancy fired us.
429
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,943
Really?
430
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,047
Violated sanitation laws,
431
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,882
brought a live animal
to a restaurant,
432
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,324
freaked out the customers,
and ruined the kitchen.
433
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,319
Yeah, we really screwed up.
434
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:37,588
We?
435
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,258
Okay, fine. You.
436
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,826
None of this would have happened
437
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,494
if you hadn't made me feel so stupid.
438
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,096
How did I make you feel stupid?
439
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,397
Oh, please. Like you don't know.
440
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,732
As soon as I got that manager job,
441
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,934
you started acting
all smartypants with me.
442
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,335
No, I didn't!
443
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,104
I just said that I'm more experienced
444
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,906
and went to college
and you can't do basic math--
445
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,074
Oh, there it is.
446
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,242
I'm sorry.
447
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,710
It's okay.
448
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,579
You don't have to apologize
for being smarter than me.
449
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,247
Oh, I'm not smarter than you.
450
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,949
I mean, maybe in, like, math
451
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,518
and English, and... school stuff,
452
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,120
but that's just because
I'm book-smart
453
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,022
- And you're--
- Cook-smart?
454
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:12,890
Yeah, I like that.
455
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,258
People can't eat books.
456
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:18,129
Exactly, and you are
an expert at cooking.
457
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,730
I'm not an expert at anything.
458
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,299
(chuckles) That's true.
459
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,368
Oh, I guess we're both losers.
460
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,537
I will drink to that.
461
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,419
- Gabi, it's 11:00 AM.
- Yeah. Who cares? We don't have jobs.
462
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,610
Hey, I just thought of a way
to get our jobs back.
463
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:36,314
- How?
- We sue Mr. Fancy for sexual harassment.
464
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,582
Do you have any proof?
465
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,383
No. Do you?
466
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,260
- No.
- (knock on door)
467
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:46,724
(gasps)
468
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,293
Mr. Fancy! Um, I'm
gonna grab my phone,
469
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,230
but not to record anything
inappropriate you might say.
470
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,065
Hold it right there, sweet cheeks.
471
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,000
- Dammit!
- Girls...
472
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,236
you have your jobs back.
473
00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,437
(gasps) Really?
474
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,105
What do we have to do?
475
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:03,641
Nothing.
476
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,310
After you left, I kind of
hit it off with Arlene,
477
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,246
the woman who delivered the piglet.
478
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:11,849
First broad I've liked
since Mrs. Fancy passed.
479
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,351
Ohh.
480
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,319
And you're, uh, hiring us back
481
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,188
because if I hadn't brought
a live animal to the diner,
482
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,824
you never would have met her?
483
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,459
No, I don't have time to hire
a new waitress or a manager.
484
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,363
Arlene and I are going to Acapulco.
485
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,366
Oh, that's nice. For how long?
486
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,768
Uh, till I run out of my blue pills.
487
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,173
- Ew.
- Romantic.
488
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,375
So, will you be going back
to work tomorrow?
489
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,277
Um, yes, but actually,
490
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,679
Mr. Fancy, um, Sofia should
really be the manager.
491
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,315
She's book-smart and I'm cook-smart.
492
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,017
"Cook-smart"?
493
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,952
What the hell is that?
494
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:49,153
Ah, it doesn't matter.
495
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,855
Shakira, you're the new manager.
496
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,491
And I'll go back to being fry cook.
497
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,159
Uh, no can do.
498
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:57,161
I just hired a new one last night.
499
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,663
Wait, but now I don't have a job.
500
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,299
Well, I'd fire her, but, uh,
501
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:03,201
she recorded some stuff I said,
502
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,483
and I don't want any trouble.
503
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,472
But she doesn't work on weekends.
504
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:09,574
Oh, okay, I'll take it.
505
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,043
Absolutely great. Adios, girls!
506
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,548
Gabi, you can't pay rent
working part-time.
507
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,817
- What are you gonna do?
- (knock on door)
508
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,656
Josh, I need your help again...
509
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,924
again.
510
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,567
I brought you extra marshmallows
511
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,369
- for your cocoa.
- Oh, good.
512
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,837
I brought extra cocoa.
513
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:49,580
I really appreciate you doing
this with me again, Yolanda.
514
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,082
Oh, no problem, baby.
515
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,217
All you have to do is
get through one whole night
516
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,552
with nothing bad happening,
517
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:57,421
and you'll be camping
with Alan in no time.
518
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,357
To never being scared again.
519
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,594
(screams)
520
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,164
- Hey, guys.
- Aah! Chupacabra!
521
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,469
No, it-- it's me. It's Gabi.
522
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:12,470
I know.
523
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:15,273
Anyway, great news.
524
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:16,907
I'm coming back to work for Josh.
525
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:18,342
(screams)
526
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:20,745
(sobs)
527
00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:23,881
I hate camping!
36252
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