Original subtitles

Good morning, and thank you for flying Elvira air

where we guarantee you'll always land somewhere.

Eventually.

I'll be your captain, flight attendant, and baggage handler,

and it looks likes some of you have brought a lot of baggage.

So please leave it at the gate 'cause I don't need no drama.

You'll notice in the front and the rear of the aircraft

there are exits, or entrances,

depending on what you're in to.

Now, I am not exactly sure where Oblivion is

because it's not on the map, but I'm pretty sure

I've been there before, but I just have no recollection.

Some of you may know that the word oblivion

comes from the Latin word meaning I have no frikking idea

where I am or who the hell I just woke up with.

Now, in the likely event of an emergency, don't panic.

Just climb over the passenger

in front of you in an orderly fashion.

In case of a loss of cabin pressure,

airbags will drop from the overhead compartment.

Just place the airbag over your nose and mouth

and pretend to breathe normally.

In the unlikely event of a water landing,

your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device

because it's filled with Styrofoam, peanuts, and wood chips.

I may also be used as a flotation device.

As a reminder, it is against federal aviation regulations

to smoke on the aircraft,

unless, of course, the aircraft begins to smoke.

Then just feel free to smoke all you like.

Once we're in the air, I'll be coming through the cabin

with a beverage cart, so just stay the hell

out of the aisles or I will run your ass over.

Beer and wine are $5, cocktails are 10,

and seatbelts are 20.

Located in seat back in front of you,

you'll find an application for the Elvira mile high club.

So, if you're not a member already,

you can become one today.

For your entertainment, our in-flight movie

on our flight to Oblivion is called--

hey, what do you know?

Oblivion.

What are the chances of that?

So sit back, relax, put your feet up

on the shoulders of the person in front of you and enjoy

your trip to Oblivion.

Please fasten your seatbelt if you rented one.

If not, please assume the crash position.

Bye bye. Bye bye now.

Bye bye. Mm-hmm.

Bye bye. Bye bye.

( squawking )

( squeals )

Hope he remembers his pin number.

( horses whinny )

( shouting )

( men chattering )

In case you didn't know, Abe Lincoln grew up in a log cabin on Oblivion.

Goddamn vulture.

( piano music playing )

( chattering )

( gasping )

( piano music stops )

Miss Kitty.

Well, that banana skirt is certainly a-peeling.

Mr. Gaunt.

You're the only one who's ever happy to see me.

Everyone is dead when they see you.

Have you ever considered the possibility, Mr. Gaunt,

that people don't welcome you

'cause you scare the shit out of 'em?

I mean, when you show up, people die.

It's not cause and effect, Marshall.

I simply have a knack for being in the right place at the right time.

( metal clanking )

( metal clanking )

I'll raise you...

- ...a hundred. - Fifty.

- A hundred. - Fifty.

Aces and eights.

( tune playing )

( metal clanking )

Redeye.

Get the hell out of here.

Move!

Dead man's hand.

They say on Altearth that Wild Bill Hickok

was holding aces and eights when he was shot dead.

Superstitions from some old planet light-years away.

Right, Marshall?

Whatever you say, Miss Kitty.

Meow!

Hey, it's cat woman!

( metal clanking )

Well, I say, dump this card game,

come upstairs with me,

and we'll play some strip poker.

It's the only game I love to lose.

Oh, I had 'em sharpened just for you.

Marshall Stone!

Stone, get your ass out here!

( gasping )

I'm calling you out, Stone.

What's the matter?

Not man enough to face me?

Or maybe you're too much man.

Too much human.

We all know what gutless cowards humans are, don't we?

Ah. I'll be waiting.

Come on, Marshall. We've got better things to do.

It's a matter of respect, Miss Kitty.

Some things cannot be ignored.

Don't worry. I won't hurt him.

( sound pulses )

Right there will do just fine.

You got a problem, Redeye?

Yeah! Yeah, I got a problem.

You, Marshall.

That won't be a problem much longer.

You are a sick individual.

Damn right I am.

I'm sick of you.

I'm sick of the Galaxico. I'm sick of the Guild.

I'm sick of all this crap!

But I got me a heavy-caliber vaccine to cure my ills.

Is that a fact?

Definitely.

Lights out, Marshall.

( whimpering )

( gasping )

( screams )

( bell tolls )

Nice catch.

Practice makes perfect.

Sh-- sh-- sh--

Rawr!

( screams )

( electronic crackling )

( gasping )

I guess the force field wasn't working up to snuff today.

( hissing )

All right. Don't have a hissy fit.

( screaming )

You son of a bitch!

( whip cracks )

Not so fast, half-breed.

Boys.

Much better.

Wow, Rudolph Valentino was also born in Oblivion.

Won't be needing this anymore.

( spits )

( shrieks )

No point in my messing up such a prime pussy as yourself.

( hissing )

Bork.

Attend to Deputy Stell Barr, would you, please?

( laughing )

So much for Guild interference.

Thanks to that load of Draconium we found,

this town's up for grabs.

And I know who's going to be the biggest grabber.

( laughing )

( device clicking )

Great.

Just what I needed, more gold.

( grunting )

( yelling )

( yelling continues )

It's a good day to die.

( gunshot )

( shrieking )

For Scorps, maybe.

For what purpose am I saved?

I have nothing.

Well, if you have nothing, then you don't have

to worry about losing what you got.

You are wrong.

No, you are wrong.

There's no depth to be reached when one cannot sink lower.

Well, things could be worse.

So live.

Who are you?

Zack.

Zack Stone.

Zack Zack Stone, either untie me or kill me.

Just stop talking.

That was a pretty nasty scorp heading your way.

Lucky for you it was a baby.

The adults usually wait for nighttime to forage.

What's your name?

I am Buteo.

Buteo.

Well, let's get some water inside you, Buteo,

and then you can tell me--

No. No drink, no food.

Not until I have buried my family.

Hi-yah.

( men shouting )

( grunting )

We got to plan our next moves carefully.

Just 'cause the Marshall's dead

don't mean this town rolls over.

He's right.

We can't simply shoot everyone.

Now that the Marshall's dead and that Cyborg deputy

of his is no problem,

as long as we have our stash of Draconium,

we're gonna show the good people of Oblivion

the great advantages to a town run by Redeye

and his dedicated associates.

Hear, hear!

Associ-whats?

Gangs, Bork.

Oh. Right.

Excuse me, Bork.

I have hemorrhoids smarter than you!

Yeah. That's why you're such a smartass.

( chuckles )

Huh?

Spanner, you'll work the town.

Be charming. Be polite.

Be sympathetic.

But point out the Guild was choking us

with their rules and restrictions anyway.

Keep Bork with you as backup just to remind folks

who the muscle is around here.

Wormhole, spread the word of what's happened.

Head out to the Last Stop Cantina

at the outskirts of the badlands

and then make your way back to Oblivion.

No problem, Rojo Ojo.

Oh, sorry.

Lash, you just be yourself.

We just might have one

teeny, weeny problem.

I hear Stone has a son out prospecting somewhere.

Hasn't been back to Oblivion in years, from what they say.

You don't think I should be concerned with him, do you?

I don't think you should be concerned about anyone.

All of you on your way.

Lash, there's a few things

I think we ought to take care of.

I was thinking the same thing.

Move!

Oh!

Mmm!

Aren't you going to ask me to be gentle?

You've got to be kidding.

( laughs )

( moaning )

( alarm blares )

Well, I got the sonic protectors up.

That'll keep the night scorps away.

You wanna talk about it?

No.

Okay.

I'll just keep asking till you do.

Killed my wife, my children.

They took everything.

Even a mere talisman of mine which is useless

to them but has been in my family for generations.

Now all that is left to me...

is this.

Lead-lined?

It contains the rays, yes.

My wife made this for me.

It is the first bit of Draconium we ever found.

Now it is the last that I own.

No, I couldn't.

Do not insult me.

It is yours.

Who did this to you?

I only saw one of them clearly since it was so dark.

If I see him again, however, he will die.

That's pointless.

Pointless?

My family's spirits cry out to be avenged.

Really? Is ovenged a word?

It will not bring your family back to life.

( howling )

As you wish.

What is it?

A man is coming this way.

You can tell that just by looking into your cup?

The liquid.

Reflections are magic if you know how to read them.

So who is this visitor?

He is the one called Gaunt.

Gaunt? The funeral man?

Must be because of your family.

Gaunt only appears before death, not after.

Then why is he heading here?

Unless one of us is gonna die.

You would run, Zack Zack Stone?

Well, I should.

Come on. Help me pack this stuff up.

If you run into a den of night scorps,

you will only hasten your fate you seek to flee.

Excuse the intrusion, gentlemen.

Zachary Stone?

Well, how did you find me?

I looked.

The night scorps did not attack you?

For some reason, they see me and simply scuttle away.

Odd, isn't it?

I bring unfortunate tidings.

Your father has met an untimely alleviation of existence.

He has shuffled off his mortal coil,

closed the curtain on our veil of tears.

He cavorts with the heavenly choir

at this particular point in eternity's endless march.

What?

He's dead.

Uh-oh, Mr. Sulu's been hitting the saki.

Jim, Beam me up.

Jim, Beam me up too!

Ah!

Whiskey.

Saloon's down the street, Doc, in the cathouse.

They cut me off there.

Good for them.

Sell me a bottle.

Like hell.

All right.

( chuckling )

Give me a bottle.

Look. We're closed.

But I'll go in the back and make you some coffee.

I didn't ask for coffee!

I want booze.

Now!

This is my place, and nobody orders me around, Doc.

Not even you, as much as I love you.

I love you, too, Mattie.

Now, give me that goddamn booze.

Doc, it wasn't your fault.

It must have been Draconium.

That had to have been what screwed it up.

I promised him I'd protect him.

You want the coffee or not?

I'm sorry I scared you, Mattie.

It's okay, Doc.

I knew you wouldn't really hurt me.

Hell, this stupid thing ain't even loaded.

( gunshot )

Well, that gun may not be loaded, but Sulu sure is.

We have company.

I can see that.

Well, let me understand this.

You didn't want me to save your life, but now that I have,

you're staying with me.

That is correct.

But why?

You need me.

I don't need you.

You do not recognize the fact that you need me.

In that lies your greatest need.

Fine. Whatever. I'm going in here.

Why? This seems the most distasteful place.

( chattering )

You can have the map.

Forget about the boxes. Forget about the weights.

I got to get going. I'm in a rush.

I'm telling you, you owe ne.

Just give me the 50.

Give it to me now, I'll get lost.

What are you doing?

I told you, I weighed it.

What the hell is that?

I already weighed it. I told you. 3.5.

Hey.

And I happen to know what the going rate for Draconium is.

I mean, the rate.

You, uh, you don't exactly look, uh, mathematically inclined.

I added it up on my watch-comp.

It's guaranteed. Guaranteed reliable.

Guaranteed!

Now, I know that you know that I know that you owe me 5497.

Decimal point after the seven.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Uh, you are slightly off by about, uh, 5,000.

What?

What kind of a scam are you running here?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Three grams.

Uh, about, uh, 18 percent.

See-- see, that's, uh, 300 dirks.

Now, uh, you can take it or you can leave it.

This is a scam.

I'm getting scammed!

My watch-comp comes with a guarantee.

Guarantee!

Hey, buddy, maybe your lead-lined case leaked

and maybe your Draconium threw your watch-comp out of whack.

What's two plus two?

Ask it.

5497.

54--

That ain't right.

That ain't right.

Uh, look on the bright side, Einstein.

Uh, 300 will be just enough-- just enough

to buy you a new watch-comp.

( snickering )

Watch this guy.

Buster. Been a while.

Zack.

Listen to me, fellas.

They killed Galaxico, everybody.

They'll be crawling to us under Redeye's leadership.

But Redeye needs men, the right kind of men.

No, uh, nebula boys.

You know what I mean.

I'm here looking for people who, uh, want to sign up.

What's in it for us?

You get to be a part of the winning team, huh?

You get our biannual newsletter.

You, uh, you learn the secret handshake.

But most important, you get our official "Better Red Than Dead" button.

So that everybody knows you've picked the right side.

( chuckling )

Are you satisfied with that amount?

I'm satisfied.

That much closer to buying my passage off this rock.

You could probably have done better in Oblivion.

Look, I'm not Mr. Popular in that town, all right?

Do you wish to discuss it?

No.

Very well. I will just keep asking until you do.

Look...

It's not like I wished my father's death or anything.

But you have to understand.

He tried to make me be--

Yes?

Something I could never be.

What?

Him.

Well, well, well. Look who it is.

The gutless son of the late Marshall.

I really don't wanna fight here, okay?

People, the gutless one really doesn't wanna fight today.

Okay?

I hate nebula boys, Zeke.

His name is Zack.

Well, Zeke, this, uh, native...

is your friend?

Look, Buteo.

This guy isn't worth it.

I really can't hurt anyone.

Who cares what he says?

People like him seek out weakness to exploit, to destroy.

If you present yourself as weak, he will attack.

Let him go.

Please.

( grunts )

All right, now, enough, Buteo!

Stop it!

( grunting )

( glass breaking )

Now, wait a minute here.

I don't want any trouble from you guys.

Buteo, let's get out of here!

Ooh!

( clicking castanets )

( yelling )

( shouting )

( bell tolls )

( gasping )

Gaunt!

Don't go.

And that's how Lincoln freed the slaves.

The nebula boys are gonna die.

Are you dead sure about that?

What happened to, uh, "I don't wanna hurt anybody"?

Well, I don't wanna hurt anyone.

Unfortunately, you happen to be standing right where my gun's about to go off.

Boo!

( whimpers )

I think I'll have a beer, my good fellow.

A Schlitz.

Oh, um, uh,

uh, uh, we're out of Schlitz.

Then, buster...

you're out of beer.

Where is my gun?

It's under the register.

I was afraid you might shoot off something you'd need later on.

( groaning )

( bell jingles )

I'll be right back.

( cash register rings )

May I help--

Good day, Miss Mattie.

Get out of my store.

Why, Mattie, I'm appalled.

Is that any way to talk to a customer?

It's how I talk to murderers.

Oh, is that what you call a fair fight?

Murder?

That's what I call gunning down the best man in town.

You're gonna put up with that kind of talk

from Suzy Homemaker there, Redeye?

Miss Mattie...

I've always been very fond of you.

You know that.

Would you like to know why?

Because I'm female and have a pulse.

( laughs )

No. Because you're a lady.

A lady in the best sense of the word.

There's not near enough ladies in Oblivion.

Oh. Hard to believe they could pass up the ambience.

Doesn't it bother your girlfriend you coming here telling me how wonderful I am?

No. I'm not the jealous type.

Besides, there is plenty of Redeye to go around.

More for you then.

I don't think you quite understand, Miss Mattie.

I am the future of this town.

I'm giving you a chance to get in at the ground floor.

Providing I let you get in.

That right?

This is my store. Get the hell out!

Get out!

And what a nice store it is.

Don't you think?

Was.

( laughing )

Well said.

Stop it!

What the hell?

Ethyl.

( whistling )

( laughing )

Oops!

Stop it! Get out!

Shop...

Till you drop.

Oh, my God.

Candy. I love candy.

Delicious.

Oh!

( mutters )

Really, darling, Your taste in jewelry--

Now, let's see. Anything else?

Get out!

( crying )

Any more cocoa in the back?

( laughing )

The next one who so much as twitches dies.

I do believe she's asking us to leave, my friends.

Nice place.

( laughing )

( crying )

He likes you, Mattie.

Get out.

And you know what?

I like you too.

We could have a great time together.

Instead, all you've got is a totally thrashed store.

Now, if you ask me, you might wanna do some thinking

about what you want out of life.

You--

You got the hots for Redeye and Miss Priss.

What about me, Lash, huh?

What do you got for me?

I'm ten times the man that Lizard head could ever be.

Prove it.

Who found that big stash of Draconium for Redeye, huh?

( chuckles )

You got to do more than jump claims

before you can jump me, Spanner.

Besides, a real man would have kept it for himself

instead of turning it over to Redeye.

But then you wouldn't know anything about that, now, would you?

Oblivion.

Home, sweet home.

The funeral will be held later today.

I'll have one of my assistants summon you.

Well, thank you for your help.

Hee-yah.

More disrespect.

He was always so tidy and methodical.

My father showed me this box once.

He told me it contained his most personal effects,

his most cherished valuables and memories,

and if anything ever happened to him,

he wanted me to have it all.

And that's why you came back here, isn't it?

You hope that there's enough in there to buy passage off Oblivion.

Buteo, I don't belong in this place.

Pop never understood that.

This world dries up your soul.

There are some who find beauty in the most bleak surroundings.

You know, now I know why I needed you.

'Cause I'd never be able to come up with all

these pointless and oblique philosophies by my lonesome.

Son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch!

Hey! What's going on out there?

We got company.

Get me out of here!

I don't know. She looks dangerous.

I'm the deputy, you moron.

Well, the ex-deputy.

Deputy?

Yes, that's right, genius.

The deputy. Stell Barr. Okay?

Now, pick up the keys and let me out.

So you're Zack.

Marshall mentioned you.

Yeah? When?

Every now and then, whenever he was drunk and pissed.

He said you were a coward.

Zack is no coward. I owe him my life.

Zack here rescued you?

That is correct.

Hmm.

How nice of you to think about someone other than yourself.

Why am I letting you out of here?

Zack Stone thinks about everyone except himself,

and that is his weakness,

and it's also his strength.

I that so?

I know him better than any living being.

I have read his heart and his soul.

How long have you known him?

Two days.

Sounds like a quick read.

So you're gonna take over being Marshall now?

Look, kiddo.

I'm a Cyborg, okay?

As much machine as human.

I don't want the top job.

Aside from the fact that I have no desire

to be the number-one target on the planet,

Redeye has a huge stash of Draconium.

A fair fight, that's one thing.

But he can short me out with that stuff with no problem.

I'm not messing with those odds.

So you're a quitter.

Look who's talking.

Look, I wasn't hired to do a job.

No. You just walked out on your father.

The Marshall once mentioned to me that

should it be necessary,

he'd prefer a closed-casket ceremony.

He'd wished to remember him as he was.

B-9.

B-9!

For, my dear friends, what is the body

but a meaningless shell, a receptacle for the spirit

that makes us all what we are.

N-34.

N-34!

Can't we postpone the bingo game?

It's disrespectful!

It's Thursday.

We always have bingo on Thursdays.

Bingo!

( crowd groaning )

Congratulations.

Find a seat, please.

( gasps )

Were you a friend of the Marshall's?

Me?

Not really.

The Marshall died as he lived,

fighting for what he believed in.

Rather than chatter on myself,

I'd like the Marshall's son to say a few words.

Go.

Now, go.

( audience muttering )

Hey, pop.

Most of you don't know me.

Mm-hmm.

Some of you do and probably wish you didn't.

Sometimes I-- I think my father felt the same way.

I know he did.

G-49.

G-49! Got it!

It's Thursday.

Oh.

Well, we didn't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things.

He felt too different.

But the fact is, we were actually more alike

than either of us was willing to let on.

I remember when I was 17 --

I-17.

I-17!

Yes! Goody!

Oh, Christ.

Point is, my father taught me the most important lesson

a man can teach his son.

That you've got to stick to what you believe in, no matter what.

Sometimes that even means not being a hero,

even if somebody wants you to--

B-1.

Be one.

Ooh! B-1 too!

And the point is

that it was this very lesson that tore us apart,

the fact that we just didn't believe in the same things.

Right. One of you didn't believe in having any guts.

G-48.

( gasping )

It's Thursday.

Come on, O-53!

O-53.

Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!

So you're the Marshall's boy?

I'm the Marshall's killer.

What are you gonna do about it?

( chuckling )

Who says diamonds are a girl's best friend, hmm?

Robo-bitch.

There will be no violence in this place.

I'm not talking to you!

There will be no violence in this place!

G-44.

Just came to pay our respects.

N-40.

Didn't want to miss seeing the dearly departed off.

I do have some ethics.

( chuckling )

B-5.

Well, peace lover,

you really don't care if I pay for what I did?

Oh, you're gonna pay.

I'm just not gonna be the bill collector.

We're gone!

O-62.

Your daddy must have really hated your guts.

Bingo!

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Yea, though I fly through the black hole of death,

I fear no evil, for thou art with me.

Don't see many natives around here.

Buteo, is it?

Yes. Buteo.

They say native men have incredible respect for women.

That is true.

They also say Native men make the best lovers.

And how is that?

Well, because of your stamina and endurance,

your sensitivity and,

uh, well, the remarkable size of your, uh,

your, uh--

Feet?

Yes. Your feet.

Come on, Kitty. Let's go get drunk.

Doctor's orders.

Oh, nice.

Two sticks instead of a headstone.

Guess they spent all their money on the casket.

Excuse me.

I didn't get your name.

Mattie Chase.

How well did you know my father, Miss Chase?

Well enough to know that I respected him, Mr. Stone.

He was a good man.

You should've stood up for him in there.

One violent act leads to another

and another in turn, and I won't be part of that cycle.

What does violence have to do with standing up for somebody you love?

I want people not to hurt.

Life is hurt, Mr. Stone.

You can't separate the two.

I'm wasting my time talking to you.

'Cause you're not listening to me.

Obviously you see some point to it.

Don't you get it?

You're a dreamer.

My husband was just like you.

He had faith in this world.

He said we were pioneers.

And after spending all our savings getting the general store set up, he got killed.

Got killed by night scorps.

He left me with a mountain of debt

and a dream but no dreamer.

All alone.

It's bullshit!

I know it's bullshit, Mr. Stone.

Obviously you're the one without any hope here, Miss Mattie.

Maybe you ought to climb in that grave over there

with your husband and be done with it.

Sorry.

No, you're not.

You're right. I'm not.

Hey, Doc. You in there?

Yeah. What do you want?

Knew you'd be here sooner or later.

Well, how could I come all the way back to Oblivion

and not say hey to Doc Valentine?

How are you doin', Doc?

How the hell do you think?

( patrons chattering )

Come on! Come on!

Do it, do it!

Come on!

Hold 'em, hold 'em!

Look, he's getting away!

Let's go!

He's going! Don't give up.

Hold it tight! Hold it real tight.

( chattering )

Go! Come!

This is not your usual hangout, Mattie.

I can't believe that lousy son of his.

Zack's a good kid.

Chip off the old block.

Trouble is, he's an Empath.

What's an Empath?

Mm, someone who experiences what you experience, only more so.

When you suffer, he suffers.

One day about five years ago, there was a robbery with a gunman named Groth.

Zack had to hunt him down and kill him.

That's when Zack left town for good.

Why?

When he killed Groth,

he told me he felt everything Groth felt.

I guess that was when he decided

he'd never take another life.

He also realized he'd be of no use to his father,

maybe even a danger, so he left.

And his mother?

She vanished a long time ago.

( shouting, laughing )

Hey!

Who's next?

Come on! Anybody!

I could keep this up all day.

Would you play this game as a true man, for true stakes?

I can take anything you can dish out, Native.

Are you familiar with the creature called the mon-ding?

No.

Rather poisonous.

I purchased this one at the Cimarron Exotic Pet Shop down the street.

Sudden movements attract them.

( growling )

They are also very irritable

and detest being shaken up.

( snarling )

You got one of them ding things in there?

That it, Native?

That is correct.

If there is one thing the mon-ding detest even more

than being shaken up,

it is fear.

It will attack any source of fear that it senses,

and that which knows fear burns at the mon-ding's touch.

Burns and dies.

So you challenge me to a death match, huh, Native?

Why should I?

Otherwise, these men will know you as a coward.

( scoffs )

It's your funeral.

Stand back, please!

( gasping )

( growling )

Are you ready, tough guy?

( growls )

In the name of all that is sacred to me, I am ready.

One, two, three, go!

Whoa!

Looks like a cross between a horned toad and a crab, but they taste like chicken.

( growling )

( gasping )

You're gonna die, Native.

Ain't you afraid?

I fear nothing.

Least of all, a man who would kill a family,

stake out the father, all for Draconium.

That was you?

If I die this day, I swear by the great god Kuk,

I will haunt you until the day you die,

and I will see you in hell!

( growling )

( growls )

( shouting )

( mutters )

( growling )

( belches )

( gunshots )

Whoo!

( groaning )

( laughing )

Howdy.

Not so fast, Pocahontas.

( speaking Spanish )

Glad you could join us.

( gunshot )

Bork!

Get out here now!

Aw, nuts.

( groaning )

We're gonna have us a trial!

Something's going on out there

and I don't like the feel of it.

Stop right there, junior!

This has got nothing to do with you.

He is right, Zack.

This is not your concern.

You take your hands off of him.

All right.

Now what are you gonna do?

( chuckling )

Make a citizen's arrest?

It is my road to walk, Zack, and I will walk it alone.

Actions have consequences.

My actions, my consequences.

And you better watch out, or I'm gonna blow a hole in you

like I did your bionic deputy.

Stell?

Great Scotty!

( cackles )

Doc!

I'm comin'! I'm comin'!

I don't like this one bit.

I'm not gonna get any work done in here.

I am the only law this town has left.

I have got to be here to hold down the fort.

If I don't fix you up,

you won't be holding down anything.

Zack, get me that tricorder there.

( Stell chattering )

Why?

( chuckling )

Power it down, Lash.

Too much charge will knock him out.

I want him to feel the pain.

Naturally.

Native!

You stand accused of murder.

How do you plead?

This is no court of law.

It's as close as you're gonna get.

That man Spanner murdered my family.

Well, we only have your word for that, don't we?

The word of a murderer!

Yeah.

The fight was fair.

Everyone saw!

What I see is I got a dead man and an uppity native.

Is that what you all see?

Yeah!

What I see is that my course was clear.

I see that there are times

when you do what should be done.

And there are times when you do what must be done.

( yawns )

It is never a clear choice.

Mm. Mm.

You do what you have to do.

I love the way this guy talks!

Are you done?

Because we really gotta get started here.

Lash.

( cackles )

Okay, boys, give me some room.

Mama's gonna have herself some fun.

( laughs )

Yee-haw!

( whip cracks )

( screaming )

The bolt did some damage.

There's no access through that arm, honey.

You promised me weeks ago you'd put in an access panel.

Damn it, Stell!

I'm a Doctor, not a magician!

( screaming )

This is gonna hurt.

Do it!

( screaming )

( whip continues cracking )

( groans )

( groaning )

Stop it! Stop!

That's enough!

Don't get your knickers in a knot, princess.

It'll all be over soon.

What's the problem, Miss Mattie?

He's just a native.

I won't stand by and watch you kill a man!

I'm afraid you have no choice.

Boss?

Look.

Actions have consequences.

You get out of town, or I'll kill you.

You ain't gonna kill nobody.

For one thing, Gaunt ain't around.

And second, you ain't got the guts.

Are you willing to bet your life on that?

Don't give me that shit, nebula boy.

We both know...

your gun's empty.

( gunshot )

( screaming )

( bell tolls )

( gunfire )

( shouts )

Get him!

( gunfire )

( shouting )

( gunfire continues )

All right. Who else?

Who's with Redeye now?

We don't need no stinking badges!

Eww. They didn't stink until you put them on.

Watch out, Mattie.

I am sorry, Zack.

Truly, I am.

It's okay. Right world-view, wrong world.

You did what you had to do, kid.

That must have hurt you, Zack, shooting all those men.

What's it matter to you, Mattie?

You got what you wanted, killing for the right reasons.

I hope you're happy. Goddamn happy.

( muffled scream )

We couldn't bear to leave you behind, princess.

We like you too much.

( whimpering )

I think you missed a spot.

Got it.

Delicious.

( groaning )

Ooh, that must really hurt.

No, you idiot!

You're standing on my foot!

( sloshing )

Eww!

Look.

Handy, isn't it?

( patrons chattering )

Good to have the law back in town.

This may sound like cold comfort,

but your daddy would have been proud.

Yeah?

Your ma too.

I never knew her.

I did.

Yeah? What was she like?

She just said you were a hero.

That makes you Marshall, if you want the job.

You're empowered to make me Marshall?

Oh, hell, kiddo, another two drinks in me,

I'm gonna make you emperor of the goddamn galaxy.

Well, you're awful quiet.

I have said "thank you."

I have apologized for having a hand in making you

what you did not wish to be.

Beyond that, I have nothing to say.

Nothing to say?

Buteo has nothing to say.

Drinks for everyone!

( cheering )

- Except -- - Cancel that!

( groaning )

Your anger at Mattie was misplaced.

He's right, you know.

He's right, you know.

Is he ever wrong?

- No. - No.

As you were.

I thought you would want to know,

I'm about to head out to the badlands.

What's in the badlands?

Probably Redeye.

That's his favorite hiding hole whenever he's in trouble.

Someone is going to die there.

Well, Mr. Psychic, give Redeye my regards.

What's gonna get him? Night scorps?

I never know the who or the how.

Just the when and the where.

You know, I was a little rough with Mattie.

Maybe I ought to go over to the general store

and have a little talk with her.

That is good.

She isn't there.

Where is she?

With the people I saw escorting her

out of town, I assume.

Out of town? Where out of town?

The badlands.

Attention, everybody.

Redeye's kidnapped Miss Mattie.

We're getting a posse together and going after 'em

to put an end to this thing once and for all!

( cheering )

Now, he's hiding in the badlands.

Mr. Gaunt's leading the way.

Who's with me?

( shouts in foreign language )

( crowd muttering )

You guys sure know how to get 'em all riled up.

( animal howling )

Remember, watch out for night scorps.

And Redeye.

And nonpayment of debts.

I tend to look at the big picture.

Look, it's real simple.

We just have to keep a lookout for anything and everything.

That's all.

You see anything in there besides your own reflection?

Something big.

But I cannot quite make it out.

( gunshot )

Hit the deck!

( shouting )

Don't touch me again.

( chuckling )

What are you gonna do?

Poke me to death?

No.

Just give you the finger.

Aw, sweet dreams.

( shouts )

( gunshots )

I'm gonna get around in back of them.

How are you gonna do that?

Ancient native tactic.

Run like hell.

( gunshots )

I suggest you get the hell out of here, Zack!

What about Mattie?

We'll send her back when we're done with her.

( grunts )

I'll slip around this way.

( screams )

Mattie!

She's in deep shit now, boy!

Night scorps might be scared of all this noise.

But when they smell the blood, they'll be no stopping them.

( grunting )

Hmm.

Don't you ever point a finger at me again!

Never cared for handguns anyway.

( yelling )

No! No! No!

( growling )

( screaming )

( gunshots )

( roaring, screaming )

( gunfire continues )

It's okay. It's okay.

Is it your leg?

Yes, it's fine.

You know how to reload, Mattie?

Yes.

You'll need this to keep the night scorps away.

Zack, look, you're out of ammo. Let him be!

No way, Mattie. It ends here.

( animal howling )

Oh, shit.

Everybody keeps hurting me!

( whip cracks )

( laughing )

Surprise!

Now, let's see how you do with max power.

Redeye!

( grunting )

Shit.

Die!

( growling )

How do you like it, boy?

The latest in miniature energy blasters.

So long, Marshall.

( yelling )

A little slow on the draw.

Like father, like son.

Draconium.

Turnaround's fair play, isn't it?

How does it feel knowing you gave up everything you believe?

All your dreams, just to fight scum like me?

I'm not fighting against you.

I'm fighting for them.

Pretty words.

Unfortunately, your last.

( grunts )

( shouting )

( groans )

Gaunt!

Ah, the hell with it.

( screaming )

( growling )

( whimpering )

( screaming )

What's the matter, Native?

Won't fight back, huh?

I do not hurt women.

Oh, a man with integrity.

I could go for you.

Geronimo!

Ah!

You hurt me! Even you!

No! No! Oh, shit!

( yelling )

I am in your debt, Stell.

If there's anything I can do.

Could you lend me a hand?

( screaming )

( grunts )

( growling )

I thought you were only into funerals and bodies.

There's always bingo.

Feels like it's got the weight of the world hanging on it.

You wear it well.

You're sure the scorps ate all of him?

I mean, you know, no pieces left to regenerate?

Dead sure.

You aren't sorry, are you?

Well, a piece of me died with him,

but better him and me than innocent people.

Let's get on out.

Hoss.

Yah!

I hope you all enjoyed our in-flight movie, Oblivion,

but we ask you to please remain seated because

your flight to Oblivion will shortly continue on into Oblivion.

For those of you with connecting flights

to other destinations,

I'm sorry, but all flights out of Oblivion have been canceled.

So you ain't going nowhere but back to Oblivion.

I hope you all enjoyed your in-flight movie, Oblivion.

Wait a sec.

Didn't I already say that?

I'm pretty sure I did.

At least I-- I think I did.

How the hell do you think?

I don't think, Sulu.

That is how I keep my job.

And believe you me, you, it's not as easy as I look, okay?

Lounging on a sofa all day and night and

watching movies and drinking out of

these little tiny liquor bottles.

I can't remember how many times

I drank myself into Oblivion.

But no matter how much I try,

I cannot seem to be able to drink my way out.

Oh, well. I am so shitfaced.

I just want to say that you guys have been

the best passengers I have ever had,

and I'm sincerely acting.

Me? I am getting out of town.

Out of town? Where out of town?

As far away from Oblivion as I can get.

I've got me a one-way ticket to unconsciousness,

a magical land with unicorns, leprechauns, and pixies.

Excuse me.

I am allergic to pixie dust.

It always gives me a runny nose.

Oh, and-- yeah.

Unpleasant dreams.

( snoring )