Original subtitles

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Thanks for coming.

I couldn't exactly talk earlier.

Yeah.

I got that.

[sighs] It's good to see you, Val.

That's not my name.

Right.

It's Hayley this time.

It's not "this time."

I am Hayley Hamilton,

respectable wife of Bill Hamilton, Esquire.

Lynette Wise has been charged with embezzlement.

She's out on bail.

The bank has filed a lawsuit to recoup damages.

She says she's innocent.

Do you believe her?

Eh, do a full rundown on her.

Background check for any priors, debts,

social media, personal life, associations.

I want to know who she's hanging with, who she's sleeping with.

- A deep dive? - Yeah, the deepest.

Shouldn't I be researching the opposition?

Nah. There's no point in wasting billable hours

on an unwinnable case.

I'll vet her and let you know if the case is worth your time.

Not my time.

Yours.

[singsongy]: Hello.

One sec.

I love that you and Madison are back

in your "I love you, I love you more" era,

but we're supposed to be working.

And right now

the only thing you're working is my last nerve.

We're playing catch-up.

You two were mad at each other for less than a minute.

A minute away from Madison is like an eternity.

Sending nothing but love your way, coz.

JOEY: Seven of hearts.

- [clangs] - [chuckling]

[door closes]

What are the rules to this one?

Are you tossing her away or keeping her?

??

DANI: Yeah. Uh-huh.

[laughs] Yes.

That is it.

- That's it? - [sighs]

Okay, you want me to move on to that other spot

- I know I can hit? - [chuckles] I'm sorry.

Did you say something, sweetheart?

Okay, I didn't think I was

"so good that you couldn't hear me" good.

Well, your fingers are magic,

but these moans were about my handiwork,

not yours.

What could be better than my magic fingers?

- Let me see. - Boom.

I leave you alone and you're cheating on me with Ada.

[both chuckle]

Ms. Wright and I were just passing time

- while waiting for you. - Mm.

I remember when you brought me my first book of poetry.

Oh. You had suitors rolling up

with all kinds of extravagant gifts

jewelry,

rooms filled with roses,

Cadillac outside your hotel with a big old bow on it.

And you handed me this book

and said you needed to borrow words from Ada M. Wright

to encapsulate me.

I couldn't sing to save my life,

but, but I knew how much lyrics meant to you.

Mm. Poetry became a call-and-response for us.

As close as I could come to doing a duet with you.

We had other ways to duet.

We still do.

- [chuckles softly] - Mm.

"I love a friend whose cheering voice.

"Can soothe my aching heart;

"Can wipe the tears of grief away.

When sorrow bids them start."

Everything okay, love?

You always see right through me. [chuckles softly]

I'm just tired.

Well, you haven't given yourself time

to come down from the WinterFest triumph.

And now I have to wrangle the beast

that is the Dupree family Christmas.

I don't envy you.

Oh, but you'll be right by my side.

Oh, but you're my captain, oh, captain,

navigating which house we visit when.

Meanwhile, I'll carry the gifts,

wearing my approved holiday blazer,

eating cookies and drinking eggnog at each stop,

and making sure we don't miss one single sprig of mistletoe.

[both chuckle]

You do have it good, don't you?

Oh, just call me Papa Dupree.

Oh, you mean Father Christmas?

[chuckles] How about a ride in Papa's sleigh?

Hmm?

We could jet off to someplace quiet

with no cell service,

no construction noises.

Someplace where the decorations aren't your purview.

A few days and you'll be healed.

AHN: Now that the area's numb, we're gonna go ahead

and start our biopsy.

You might feel a little bit of pressure.

You are the most thoughtful man.

But I can't relax just yet.

ANDRE: Aren't we running out of sleeps

- till Christmas? - Even my Christmas cards make an entrance.

One year I didn't get 'em done till July.

[chuckles] - Why don't we go full-out Kardashian?

Just the Dupree ladies would be good for your brand.

The only brand I'm interested in

is the happily ever after one with my new hubby.

I know you're a private person,

but this is just for friends and family

in der Christmas clerb, yeah?

No photo says us more than our wedding photo.

It's spontaneous, sexy, and we were completely in love,

even though we didn't know it yet.

And you looked magnificent.

I looked like I took a swim in the Bellagio fountain.

Which we may or may not have done that night.

And Jackie Tyree was... stunning.

But we don't want her to pull focus.

What I want is a moment where we actually did know

how completely and madly

and deeply we were in love.

I love that.

Okay. Let me see.

- All right. [Clears throat] - Uh...

No. All the ladies would come for you.

Mm-mm. Ooh. [Chuckles]

All of these are NSFCC.

- They're not safe for Christmas cards. - [laughs]

So, what we'll do is,

I'll fire up my camera and we'll have our own sexy Santa

and Mrs. Claus shoot.

I have some props somewhere.

Hold on, Mr. Claus.

We need to drop in on Mother Claus

and make sure we lock ourselves in

on the Dupree family Christmas calendar before Nicole.

- Okay. - We can play some sexy reindeer games when we get back.

- You be Prancer. - Mm-hmm.

And I'm always a little Vixen.

JOEY: Didn't expect to see you tonight.

This is what we do.

I run.

You chase me.

You run.

I chase you.

Definitely not my M.O.

Joey Armstrong doesn't chase, right?

I'm not proud.

I'd crawl to get to you.

The words are romantic.

But one minute you're Bonnie to my Clyde,

and the next you're cashing in your chips.

But I can never stay away.

I want you.

More than I thought possible.

More than I've ever wanted anyone.

I'm just never quite sure if I'm alone in that.

Hayley Hamilton.

[chuckles]

The name's hot.

You know,

I never expected you to find a keeper.

The name or the man.

You really quit the game,

settling down, and

now you got all that class that money can't buy.

Didn't you, Hayley?

So did you, right?

Right, Hayley.

I mean, I never had it like you.

I was just always tracing your moves.

You had that catch-and-release in your blood

like you were born with it.

And, well, me and Randy, we were just

living in Hayley's game.

Okay.

Cut the Hayley crap.

No.

"You have to live in the con every moment,

"never saying the real name.

Make it real, keep it real."

- You taught me that. - Uh

that was another me,

another life.

You don't have to convince me.

Your husband? Mmm.

- He's fine. - Mm.

But in every other way,

he resembles all the other marks.

Sneaking into a rich married man's bed

after infiltrating his life through someone close.

[chuckles]

If it looks like a mark and acts like a mark,

why shouldn't he be?

Because...

I fell in love.

The one thing we never dared to dream back then.

Don't we deserve it?

After everything?

We probably deserve the opposite.

But, hey,

I got mad respect for you.

And every secret that we have

is safe with me.

So you don't want first chair?

It's just

this is a criminal case.

I've only been the lead on civil.

Yeah, well, partners have to be nimble,

playing all parts on the field.

I mean, Pauline has a background in forensics.

Put me in, Coach.

I don't have courtroom experience,

but I killed at every criminal clinic in law school.

I'll hit the briefs and be ready to flex that muscle again.

Yeah, well, hey, don't flex too hard.

I wouldn't want you to get back on the I.R.

Injured reserve list.

[groans] Any chance we can just

forget my lowest point ever happened?

[chuckles]

Not a chance in hell.

There. I'm all yours.

Our ChelseaKat Christmas promotion is through the roof.

Higher than Santa's sleigh.

Mmm, look at those numbers.

I wish that we had some bubbles.

- Our moment needs a moment. - We've arrived

six months ahead of my projection.

We are on fire.

- Ah! - Mm.

Just like me and my gorgeous girlfriend

and you and Tomas.

Well, as Aunt Dani says,

always work the win.

I was distracted before.

Usually when I'm texting Madison, you're texting Tomas.

Well, not all of us are about sexting in public.

Oh, is he bugging because you turned down

his cohabitation proposal?

[sighs] Well,

I already talked to your mom and Martin about it.

But not me?

You were busy re-bonding with Madison after being sick.

- [clicks tongue] - I didn't seek them out.

It was more like an accidental focus group.

Okay. And where did you land?

Vacillating between protecting my heart and the opposite.

Then...

Yeah?

Then Tomas showed up at the studio

and accused me of avoiding him.

- Well, were you? - Not exactly.

But he wanted me to explain my no.

And?

[sighs] I'm still trying to figure it out.

I didn't mean to hurt him, but...

I did.

And now I suspect he's just telling me what I want to hear.

I've been all over the place lately.

Don't apologize.

Do you know how good it feels to know

that you want to step into the light with me?

I just don't want you to regret anything about us.

I...

couldn't find the right words, Joey.

You know, there's nothing you can't say to me.

So tell me, what was so urgent

about making us official?

What was so important about that night, that party

when we have all the time in the world?

That's probably what Doug thought, too.

What happened to Doug won't happen to me,

- I can promise you that. - [chuckles]

Living with danger doesn't make you immune to it.

I wasted so much time with Doug.

I don't want to waste another minute.

I loved him,

but I wasn't in love with him anymore.

Well, I'm glad you got past the guilt

- of that revelation... - Long before

the kids left for college,

I knew what we were and what we weren't.

But I was going to stay until death did us part.

Hence my temporary solutions, like escorts.

Vanessa, you don't need to justify that...

But then I met you.

If Doug hadn't died.

I still would have left him for you.

Doug isn't here to test that theory.

I'm yours. [Stammers]

Rewriting our history isn't necessary.

You're still smarting.

[chuckles] Because I went too far

pushing the ex-wife button when you brought up Doug.

You think I don't know or understand that move

or all your moves.

But you still don't believe me?

Being with you in the moonlight of Puerto Rico,

it was everything I was missing.

When I took that ring off,

it was supposed to be forever.

If the unthinkable hadn't happened,

I would have left it on that dresser

come home, and-and told Doug that it was over.

We-we would have been together for the world to see and envy.

Maybe Doug would still be here

in some bachelor pad across town.

These are all just what-ifs.

But the unthinkable did happen.

But it still doesn't change facts.

The world thinks I'm this widow grieving my husband.

I-I-I'm mourning the man,

the doctor, the father to my kids, but...

[sighs]

The husband was gone long ago, just like the wife,

and it is time to come to terms with that loss.

Of all the law offices in the DMV,

- you happen to walk into my husband's? - Mm-mm. No.

I asked for the best.

I was referred to Bill.

So you weren't looking for me?

I was looking to avoid 30 years of prison time.

Plus I am way too pretty to serve that time.

[chuckles]

I can see you

looking for the scam behind those lashes,

but I was just as surprised

to see you as you were to see me.

We used to engineer coincidences.

This isn't that.

I was just tired

of not being able to see my real name

on the side of a coffee cup.

Because everywhere else, I was someone else.

That'd be much easier to buy

if you weren't up on embezzlement charges.

Maybe it's my karma.

Me getting charged with something that I didn't do

after all the stuff that I did.

Or maybe it's something else.

Fate? [Scoffs]

[chuckling]

Think I was gonna admit that's what I was thinking

after you said it like that?

[chuckles] It's nice to have you back,

- whatever your name is. - [chuckles]

- [laughs] - And it's nice

having my girly back to kiki with about the good old days.

Mm.

The only thing Tomas Navarro will be synonymous with

is excellence,

starting with the Lynette Wise case.

Going forward, it's about winning

nothing else.

[chuckles softly]

That's what I wanted to hear.

- This was a test. - Hey.

Just needed to see how you handle a little gentle ribbing.

Look, that's the last time I'll reference your injury.

You took the heat and devised a plan.

Proper partner skills.

- Thanks. - Yeah. Hey, look, go. Get out of here.

Take Kat out on a date while you still can.

Your work-life balance is about to become unbalanced.

Yes.

You've always had a picture of your life,

and living with your boyfriend on the way to maybe-marriage

wasn't in it.

Is that what's stopping you?

It turns out I'm a scaredy-Kat

but for a completely different reason

than upsetting the Kat Richardson grand plan.

Your mom made me realize that.

How?

By reminding me that she was on top of the fashion world,

met your dad, and then, five minutes later,

she gave up her Dani Dupree-ness to be his missus.

Cut to decades later

and she's firing bullets at flower arrangements

at your dad's wedding.

Yeah, my mom can't be your example.

Well, then my mom can.

Same scenario, different daddy who was a disappointment.

And all it took was the bitch who wrecked my parents' marriage

and the scraggly mutt sidekick to come along,

and now my mom's adrift.

Okay, but Aunt Nicole isn't packing heat

nor did she marry a child groom.

No. But my parents were so entangled

that my mom had to relearn how to be a queen.

Your dad screwed up with your mom.

My dad screwed up with my mom.

- And Tomas... - Slept with Eva.

Yeah.

I know Tomas isn't perfect

and neither am I.

But moving in with him brings up this picture

of me twisting myself into becoming someone I'm not.

And when girls like me

stop being themselves for a man,

they snap.

Just like Aunt Dani

and just like all the girls from the murder podcasts.

- [chuckles softly] - [phone chimes]

[sighs]

Tomas wants to meet tonight,

and I'm sure he wants to talk about moving in again.

Why am I feeling a vibe?

Mm. I don't believe in vibes.

Well, vibe-free, love.

Just bracing for the Christmas magic.

[laughter]

All that work just for this place to look effortless.

Oh, I bet you know a little bit about that from taking pictures.

Yeah, if only all of my subjects

looked as beautiful as these women.

Mm. I see why you married him. [chuckles]

We dropped by to pitch in on the Dupree family Christmas.

Ah. Well,

in that case, gentlemen,

if you'll excuse us.

Oh. Well,

since we don't get to see how the wreaths are made

[chuckles] why don't we bowl a few frames downstairs,

find out if you're good enough to make a seven-to-ten split.

[chuckles] What's a seven-to-ten?

- I only throw strikes. - [laughs]: Oh.

Now we gonna talk trash.

[Dani chuckling]

So, what is on the agenda?

Are we doing a movable feast from house to house

or are we all coming here?

I want you to make me a promise,

should anything happen to me,

that you'll look after your father.

I promise.

Now tell me why I would need to.

Oh, I don't know. Just

all that talk at WinterFest, I guess, just got to me,

you know, about looking after your loved ones

during the holidays.

And I just want to make sure your father feels the love.

- I thought Nicole's the one who takes care of... - You know

[chuckles] you know how we would say

we adore you and your sister equally?

Is this where you break it to me that Nicole's your favorite?

No favorites.

But you have always been your daddy's baby girl, so

see to him, okay?

Mom, you're scaring me.

No, it's... Don't mind me.

It's just a

a case of holiday emotions.

And, honestly,

I don't know if I'm feeling the idea

of going from house to house this year.

So why don't I have Rowena make us a little hot apple cider?

And then we can sip and brainstorm.

[chuckling]: Okay.

Have a seat.

I am obsessed.

That will definitely sell.

- We're genius girl bosses. - Period.

Couldn't agree more.

Sorry. We're still in the throes.

Might be another hour or so.

I'm happy to watch geniuses work.

[phone chimes]

Oh, I got to go.

Wait. But

we-we still haven't talked about clasps.

Well, later. It's kind of a Christmas Mission: Impossible.

[festive music playing]

If she won't talk about your work,

mind if we talk about mine?

I love that we're both ambitious.

[sighs]

What's up?

Bill's trusting me with my very first criminal case.

But you've only done civil.

I'll tackle something new,

prove myself to him,

and make partner.

Ew.

It's one thing to work for Bill,

but you can't risk your career to impress him.

Why is it a risk?

Why are you always dropping negativity

when it comes to my career goals?

Girl, starter wives do not like second wives,

especially ones who look like me

and happen to fall in love

with their best friend's dad who just happened to be married

to a Dupree.

Do you, like, cry yourself a river

in a big bed in a big comfy house

with this big man and his big bucks

- with his big you know what? - [laughs]

I know we thought once we land a place like this,

all our problems would melt away.

But... behind the gates is

- new problems. - Mm.

Just dressed up in designer clothes.

You've had more lives than a cat.

[laughs]

And landed on your red-bottomed stilettos.

I swear, if you weren't born to the manor

and I hadn't come up beside you...

But you always have been bougie.

Mm.

Now the curtains just match the drapes.

A toast.

To my friend.

For finally getting what she deserves.

If you are going to insist

that you make the yellow cake with chocolate frosting,

perhaps Andre could be your kitchen assistant.

He can lick the bowl.

[chuckles]: Okay.

Don't make me put you in the naughty list.

[laughs]

[sighs] So much to do.

There is a lot of noise.

And not just from the construction

of Leslie's ratchet dollhouse.

From your kids' and grandkids' drama to the Articulettes,

this whole year,

is it catching up to you and Daddy?

We're golden.

Yeah, but you're tense.

Maybe if you don't want to talk about it,

- you can do something about it. - [chuckles]

So, Ms. Thing has answers.

Maybe a massage.

Even I can have the occasional fleeting emotional moment.

And I am this close to having another one

with a much more heightened tone if my lovely daughter

does not get her head back in the Christmas game.

Okay, okay, I'm all gingerbread and frankincense.

VERNON: Oh,

here comes the turkey now.

- [laughs] - Vernon.

- Manners. - What?

That's what you call it when you get three strikes in a row.

Okay, normally I would have gotten a lot more.

[scoffs] Listen to this.

He blames his shoes.

Hey, I bowl better in a pair of rentals

worn by random people at the bowling alley.

You two are so adorable.

[both chuckle]

- Mmm, mmm. - [laughs]

- ANITA: Thank you, sweetie. - And that is our cue.

Okay! Well, enjoy,

my beautiful parents.

- Ah. - Mwah. [Chuckles]

All right.

- Later! - Oh.

[chuckling]

Tell me I'm not a horrible father

for making Dani and Andre kick rocks.

I just wanted to pamper the woman I love.

- Oh, well, then have at it. - [chuckles]

Oh.

I often wonder,

how did I get so lucky?

Yeah, I don't know what I did to deserve it,

and I don't even want to think

about what my life would be without you.

And hopefully you will never have to find out.

Mm.

- All right. Here you go. - Oh.

Thank you.

For so long, it was about what everyone else needed

and wanted from me.

I was supermom for my babies.

The drop-offs and pickups,

the play dates, bake sales... [stammers]

PTA, after-school activities.

And for Doug,

I was the ultimate doctor's wife.

He had the hands, but I had the touch.

With the chief,

the other doctors and wives.

I was Mrs. Dr. McBride.

And I... and I felt like I was losing a little bit more

of myself every day.

So I... so I went to work.

I... I opened my real estate venture,

and that gave me back a part of myself.

I was good at selling houses.

It gave me something more than a

than a... than an empty marriage with a

string of meaningless affairs.

And then you came along.

[chuckles]

Unexpected, exhilarating.

I-I felt more alive than I have in a... in a long time.

You made me feel

like an equal.

Respected.

Appreciated.

I'm glad you feel all those things.

You deserve to feel them.

[sniffles]

But you don't have to set fire to your life to be with me.

Mom.

Andre?

[door closes]

[Dani and Andre laughing]

[Dani speaks indistinctly]

DANI: Ready for our X-rated Christmas card photo shoot?

ANDRE: Almost.

DANI: Let me catch up.

How'd you get your clothes off so fast?

Can I get a "ho ho ho"?

ANDRE: Oh.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Please just put something on!

DANI: Chelseabear, you can open your eyes.

[sighs]

What am I looking at?

I thought we'd be celebrating my good news right now.

Why aren't you excited for me?

Because I know my ex-uncle a hell of a lot better than you.

I've seen him operate my whole life.

He broke my aunt's heart, but he also broke Naomi's,

who spent her whole life wanting to be just like Bill.

Her dad was her mentor,

her lawyer goals.

She idolized him.

Just like you're doing now.

And then Hayley happened.

No.

Bill happened.

He had the vows.

And if he would do that to his family,

what'll he do to you?

I never hero-worshipped Bill.

That doesn't mean he isn't a good boss and mentor

or that he doesn't see my potential.

Bill's not the only game or law office in town.

I'm not gonna throw away

all the time I've invested into Bill's firm

or the opportunities that are finally coming my way.

I got into law to be Bill Hamilton.

- No. - Yes.

If you look beyond the affair and the second marriage

to the guy who came from nothing

and acquired everything

the money, the stature, the respect.

But there are other ways to do that.

Do you have any idea what it was like

watching people look down on my parents

just because they were poor?

Or seeing the way kids looked at me

when I told them I wanted to be a lawyer?

I might as well have told them I wanted to be LeBron James.

[sighs] I know that.

- But... - Hearing the story and living it

are two different things, Kat.

I promised myself there'd be no going back

to being that kid who was disrespected,

teased, and dismissed.

Look at me now.

I'm this close to the promised land.

But who will you be when you get there?

That matters, Tomas.

I'll be me.

With you at my side.

And I'll hold out my hand to my family

and other Tomases out there

who need someone to take a chance on them,

just like Bill is taking a chance on me.

Hey, baby.

Come here. Mmm.

I thought I'd have to wait to get home

to put my lips on yours.

Oh, well, mine made me circle back to my honey.

Mm-hmm. And your nails?

I decided to stick with the same color.

But my fingers, toes,

lips, and other parts would be happier

someplace with palm trees.

Soon, baby.

[sighs] How soon?

Well, it depends on what you think of Lynette Wise.

Oh, right. The case that's delaying my rotation

of teeny-weeny bikinis.

Oh, nothing will get in the way of those bikinis.

- Mm. - But... I don't know.

Does she come across as innocent to you?

We barely spoke.

I didn't really form an opinion.

Huh.

Well, you read everyone in seconds.

I've never seen anyone with your social prowess.

Which is why I want you on Lynette's case.

After our island getaway, of course.

Tomas will be taking lead.

Okay.

I want to test Tomas's mettle.

- You object? - In a big way.

Instead of you concentrating on our vacation,

you're planning interoffice espionage.

Well, I can read you, too.

You don't want to spy on your friend.

You don't believe I'm ready to move on?

I believe that you're ready to leap into where we're headed.

And if you were alone, I would jump.

But you're not. You have Donnell and Deanna,

and they're not where you're at.

The kids?

For you, your marriage was long over, but

they just lost their father.

They need to mourn him.

And the family.

They can't lose you to me.

I'm doing this for them.

Donnell wasn't just crushed by Doug's death

but by the secret life he kept from him.

I...

I want my kids to know me. All of me.

I don't want to lie to them about us.

What if they're not ready for the truth of us?

- What then? - Well,

there's no good answer, is there?

I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

But

there's no one else I would rather be damned with.

You are the answer to the longing I've had my whole life.

I-I don't know where I'd be without you.

I'm not going anywhere.

[shudders]

It won't be easy.

There'll be internal conflicts to face.

With criminal cases,

I might have to do things

and represent people that offend my moral sensibilities.

But I'll find a way to combine my ambition with my compassion.

But why would you put yourself in that position?

Life's too short to be miserable.

To grow, to learn.

But do you have to do that with Bill?

I mean, look at Naomi.

She decided to hang her own shingle

and go independent.

She's helping people while also making a name for herself.

Naomi has the Dupree connections

and probably a trust fund to fall back on.

I paid for college by serving in the military.

My family sacrificed every step of the way.

If I let up even for a second,

I betray that sacrifice.

I can see that. But...

You kept your job with your dad

until you knew ChelseaKat could support itself.

Think of the time I'd lose,

time I've already spent in Bill's firm,

if I went out on my own to start from nothing.

I can't take that loss.

I'm all in with Bill Hamilton.

? Christ the Lord. ?

Your partner in crime?

Your fake lover the one time you tried to make me jealous.

You want me to spy on Tomas?

What do you say?

Tomas has been good to us.

But having someone check your work's the price of admission,

like when he spied on the review board.

Mm-hmm. That's my baby.

Besides, you know, I can learn a thing or two

from your lady embezzler.

Like how not to get caught when I fleece you

for all you're worth.

[laughing]

[chuckling]

- You aren't supposed to be here. - Serves you right.

Did your little bird text you

to tell you we were at your grandparents'?

- Oh, I was just... - You know

Rowena was my sneak long before she was yours.

What am I, six?

Why would I need to sneak into your house to look for presents?

We are still kids at heart, Chelseabear.

If your mother could, she would sneak into your studio

every day before Christmas

to help you look for your Elf on the Shelf.

DANI: He knows me so well.

And you're not gonna find your presents,

so just give up.

Making no promises.

Did you figure out the holiday sketch with Gran?

Have you noticed anything different about her?

She's just as fierce and fabulous as she always is. Why?

A couple things she said.

She seemed

a little cryptic.

ANDRE: Huh. Maybe

she was trying to work you for her Christmas gift.

Probably. I mean, she's the one who taught me.

- Hmm. - Mm.

Nah.

I may have been my daddy's girl,

but I'm my mother's woman.

She'd tell me to trust my instincts.

Something's off.

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