Original subtitles

awful. No, we just got milk this week.

Did somebody say awful?

Well, who's the culprit?

I bet it was you.

I didn't do anything.

Well, we're all out of milk and we all know you're the chronic milk drinker.

sorry. You always finish everything in the fridge before you're ever even able

to get anything.

We never get to enjoy a bowl of cereal or a glass of milk or anything because

it's always done before we get there.

Okay, my bad.

So are you going to replace the milk?

We're kind of hungry. Yeah, we have all these boxes of cereal. We can't even

enjoy it because we're out of milk. Oh, sorry.

Well, maybe you should calm down your habit of drinking it.

Milk is warm anyways.

You just drink it straight out of the carton? Yeah, I love milk.

You probably go through like three gallons a week. Can you kind of calm it

just a little bit?

What are we going to do about it? Lucas doesn't seem to care. Do you even care?

We're going to have to get him his own fridge.

Yeah, we're going to start labeling our shit, you're going to have your own

carton of milk, and that's how we're going to solve the problem, I guess.

Yeah. I guess it's going to have to be that way.

So, where are we supposed to eat now?

We're going to have to get takeout or something.

There's an empty bowl.

And no milk.

Like... Okay, so there's no milk, so we can't have cereal. We're going to have

to grab something else for lunch.

Yeah, I'm really starving.

I know.

Um, I mean...

We haven't had grocery shopping in a week, so it kind of makes sense that

all out of everything.

Do you want to say maybe order some things earlier than takeout?

What are you hungry for?

I don't know.

I don't even feel bored around here.

Do you feel like you need anything?

No. No. It's too early for you.

You're right.

Let me think here.

Chinese food?

We have Chinese food left to review.

Yeah. I don't really want a sandwich. That kind of sounds boring. Not boring.

Not boring.

We could get In -N -Out.

Oh, a burger sounds good. Yeah.

It's only greasy.

Yeah.

I want to go for a burger.

I want to go for a different place though.

Like they did just like, yeah, they kind of just like opened a new location on

the street. The grill.

Yeah, the grill.

I have a really good sweet potato fries.

I've been wanting to try those. Oh, sweet potato?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. They have a really good dipping sauce. I heard that too.

Ooh. Mm -hmm.

Okay, we can eat that. And then, should we get something for this burger? I

should spoil myself tonight. This burger? Yeah, get a little Gussy

Something chocolate.

Chocolate? Ooh.

I think they have that new, like, chocolate covered strawberry place, and

can, like, pick the pickle.

Oh, the strawberry!

Yeah! There's a little fruity in there.

Yeah, we can do that.

All right, I know. I'm not a woman from milk. I know.

We can make him do this, too. Yeah. Right?

Because he can do it.

Yeah, he can do it all the fucking world. At least he can do it for us.

Yeah, so burgers and the chocolate covered strawberries are just, like,

sounds good.

I think that's a good plan.

Yeah. Look at us, innovators.

We should talk to Josh about the house rules, though. Yeah.

Josh, we need to have a discussion here about... The what rule?

Fucking community food. If you finish it, you replace it. It's not that hard.

Yeah, if it's in the fridge, that means it's all of ours, not just yours.

It's not just a fucking free -for -all. It's supposed to be all for free for us.

Uh -huh.

Yeah, it would fucking matter.

I swear, when we tell you something, it goes in one ear and out the other.

Plus, he didn't take out the trash yesterday like he was supposed to. I saw

all out there by the front door. Yeah, that's a man's job. We agreed. You take

out the trash, and, like, we'll help with the cooking, but you can't be

all the food that we cook with.

I feel like we just do everything.

He's just kind of, like, useless.

You're supposed to be kind of a help around here. Like, we're all a team.

a community that wants to, like, come on. It's not that hard.

Uh -huh. Uh -huh. And, like, we'll, like,

like, I'll tell you what. If you do that, like, maybe...

We'll make sure dinner's ready as long as there's actually food in the fridge.

If you make sure the trash is taken out. Yeah.

Okay? I mean, are there anything that you want us to work on too? I don't want

to be like a total tyrant in here.

No,

you're good. Hi.

We are kind of perfect. I mean, we cook and we clean.

One job sounds fucking trash because it isn't that hard to remember.

Because I'm just going to keep calling out that I refuse to take it out.

That's his thing. I'm not pecking it.

Plus, he's been laying on the toilet seat stuff, too.

Oh, my God. Thank you. If I wanted a frat boy in my house, I would have

a frat boy. Right? I mean, like, come on. You're not a child.

Like, I had better take a seat than that.

Yeah.

Like... You know, at least he doesn't pee on the seat, though.

Let's appreciate a few things about him.

Oh, he did the bare minimum.

Let's give him an award.

That's a lot for a man. You got to give him some credit. Not getting pissed

everywhere.

You know?

This is why women live longer.

We're asking them to be mad.

In their head.

So the rules, when I moved in, rule number one was... And,

you know, rule number two was...

I feel like he's deflecting. He's slowly deflecting.

And the biggest rule, rule number three.

Alright, yeah, rule number three.

But you have to remember our rules that we have in place, too, in that house.

Yeah,

I know.

I just, like, I want this situation to work out between us and all of you in

community.

I can't even tell.

Do you know?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

I'm wondering what's going on.

Yeah,

that's like one of the biggest rules.

And then I'm sure Jane knows like

the other.

I know you aren't really comfortable living here. It's kind of like, just

casual, like, fun vibe.

But we still kind of remember that, like, Andre Ryan plays.

And, like, structure keeps a home frame smoothly.

Yeah. And we just need to maintain the structure in this home.

Yeah.

Structure. That's exactly what we need.

Maybe you can figure it out.

I have to even know.

I mean, we didn't have to live with that since you're an idiot.

Like, we have some faith in you.

Yeah. I think we just found a little bit too lax, and we had to just, like, have

this little meaning, you know? Uh -huh. Yeah.

I think it's going good so far. I'm happy that we're clear. You're in the

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, I really appreciate how communicative we can be with each other

like honest and open.

It's kind of like that. Yeah, I think it creates like a pretty peaceful vibe in

these little hiccups we have about house rules, but I mean, I guess I'm not

unhappy overall about the situation.

Yeah.

So did you want anything specific from like that new grill place? We were

thinking about burgers.

Yeah, burgers sound good.

Okay. I'm not too picky.

So the sweet potato fries, I'm going to add double of them.

Is it double to the order?

Oh, you want them? Okay, cool. You're going to get like a lot then for that,

like all the sauces.

I don't remember. Do you like the chocolate strawberries?

Yeah, I do.

Yeah? Yeah. Okay, cool. I'll make sure I just order like a dozen, not like a

baker's dozen.

Uh -huh. Yeah. Yeah.

Nothing else?

No. Okay.

I think I'm actually going to get the white chocolate covered strawberries on

half. Oh, the white chocolate?

Yeah, the white chocolate. And you do like these fun little rainbow sprinkles

it. It's just so fun. Very spring kind of. I don't know. I think it's cute.

Yeah. I'm excited though.

Maybe it is a good thing that you drank all the milk.

We were going to have a bowl of cereal.

True. We do have to go grocery shopping though.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, we have no snacks.

Yeah, we've got to get all the munchies up in here.

I think we're almost out of water bottles, too.

I mean, I'm really taking it up in the water.

I mean, if you have water bottles all over your room when I'm in there.

Yeah, you've got to kind of, like, I don't know. I can get them in big packs,

and then they're just gone.

Yeah, and, like, I go to your room, and I don't have a right to, like, tell you

how to eat it. It's kind of a big side of you. I don't know.

if you want.

Is that going to be an issue if you don't pick up your room?

No. No.

All right.

We're pretty good at cleaning our rooms.

Oh, yeah, except for the trash.

It's because he doesn't want to take the trash out, so we just let him use it

all up in his room.

I mean, listen, I'll clean your room for $20.

Yeah, if you want to.

Oh, shit.

Hey, $20.

Yeah, I don't know.

We should check the junk drawer. Yeah.

I don't know.

Let me censor that for a second.

Do you remember where I put the funny thing out?

No. You don't remember anything.

Yeah, we can get everything delivered so we can just hang around the house and

not worry about it.

Yeah, let's do that. I was like, there's a theory you can drive.

You can drive. You can watch a show.

Yeah.

It's probably going to be nice to have lunch tonight. You know, after your

Clean all that good shit.

Yeah.

We're going to have to order like $3.

It's kind of like, it's going to be complicated.

Yeah, for the cookies.

Josh, I know that you drank the entire carton in one day. You're a cereal milk

carton drinker. You're crazy.

What

about a

cheerleading outfit?

What? I'm not wearing a cheerleading outfit to my first date with this guy.

And, like, you're athletic.

Like, I think it could, like, really go well.

What do you think?

No, no, no. I think we need to think of something else.

Um, okay.

Um, hear me out. How does a jumpsuit sound?

For our first date? That's weird. No, you've got to think I'm weird. I mean,

you trying to sleep with him on the first date or not? Like, how easy have

been? You know me.

You know me. Okay, so.

Like, see schoolgirl vibes and hear me out on your old Catholic school uniform.

Ew! Come on!

No, no, it gets, like, smart girl meets, like, little school whore. I think it's

a great idea.

I'm not going full whore.

Oh, yeah.

Come on, Janie. Like, let's get exciting here.

Um... Huh.

We could do, like, presidential style.

What are you even saying right now? Because I'm trying to, like, you want

like that right outfit is the right thing about your vibe right you want to

good first impression dude i was just thinking wearing like some daisy dupes

class it up a little bit with these shorts over here i'm not i'm not i don't

know about okay um let me see more on that i don't know like what do you

want um you have a really cute pink outfit you can do the pink outfit with

the black shoes or something

Like, give me five. Okay, no, no, no, no. Not doing a flower crown. Come on,

it's free love, man.

But I've been wanting to use those black platforms for a while. Okay, so we'll

build it off the black platform.

Yeah. You don't mind the company, right?

I'm trying to be water conscious.

Oh, yeah, you're such an environmentalist.

Our water bill was pretty high, though, last month. We need to be more careful

about what we're using.

Um,

let me just think about your outfit. Let's see.

I really think the black platform with the cast of school girl skirt would be

killer.

I don't know. I can use a skirt, but I... Oh,

wait, no, I got it. You can do the black platform with your daisy do to, like,

throw a flannel over your waist, and you can give that kind of, like, grungy

vibe.

And then, let's see.

Um, you can do, like, grungy makeup with it if you want to do kind of, like,

that intimidating bitch. Like, yeah, I know I'm hot, but don't touch me. I

know.

That's me.

And they're like, why are you taking so much time to get an outfit when we all

know you're taking it and it's horrible and you're probably going to end up

crying about it in two weeks. Like, maybe you should just, you know what?

it. Go on your day -to -day because we all know you.

Oh, yeah, right.

Right? Come on. Jackson's got to agree with me. Like, that last guy you brought

home?

Like... Yeah. What was that?

And it's in the diesel truck?

Come on.

So about this guy, did you get him from the discount boyfriend store or what?

No, she met him at the coffee shop because he's...

So deep and artistic and broody.

I don't know. I think the redneck guy is better than this one.

Oh, that fucker? Yeah.

Hey, at least they have those good old Southern values or whatever the fuck

do down there.

Um, what did you... We gotta find you, like, a doctor. Because you keep getting

all these, like, broke -ass... A doctor?

A doctor. I need more attention than that, though.

But, Jeannie, do you want attention or do you want to have a good home?

and like money not all about the money um i think it is i got like i don't know

your parents since you do private catholic school so they're trying to

kids the one and you need money to do that hence marry a doctor true like i

i see you your mindset and all these artistic you're starting artists man i'm

gonna give you what you want like you always go for such red flags like what

he say his job was or in case of focus on himself in his art Shut up. Come on,

girl. I'm telling you.

You gotta leave.

I got it. We are gonna go for guys at the next fraternity meeting at the

college. I like this one. I like him. I'm telling you. I love you so much,

I'll tell you how today goes.

Okay, maybe I can give him a little bit of a chance, but we'll see.

Would you, like, totally tell me if I came in disguise and, like, watched it?

No, you should totally tell me.

So I'm going to have to find my dark sunglasses if we're going to do this.

going to go full, you know, five big style.

I think, I hope this is the one for you, Jamie.

Because honestly, you're dating, like, husband. I know.

Like, I don't know. Maybe you have any, like, friends you can put her up with?

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah? If this one doesn't go well.

planning just because you have one good date doesn't mean you have a good rest

of your life with him.

Right? No expectations.

You gotta test drive the car before you buy it, hun.

Come on.

Don't you agree?

Yeah.

Right?

He already needs to be around.

We'll give him a little free trial run, see if we like it or not.

And I say we because you're gonna be bringing these dudes home and we have to

deal with them too.

Right?

Watch a movie and hang out with him. I want to hate the guy's guts.

You don't have to like the guy's guts.

I mean, but if you're living with us and we're friends, like, I want to like the

man you're with.

Fine, then I'll just go to bed.

But I don't want them to steal you from us, do you?

I would say you want to hang out with me.

You're going to find a winner one day. You're going to find Mr.

Right on Light Horse in Shining Armor. Oh, yeah, because that's what I want.

That's totally what I want. You're talking about what you want.

What do you want?

I don't know.

I want, like, a granola boy or something. You like the crunchy type,

You want to, like, go out barefoot in, like, a meadow of daisies and, like,

frolic and shit, huh?

Hippie vibe. Hippie vibe. I mean, I am in this whole communal thing, so I can

take that. I used to want more commitment than that.

I don't know.

You know how I kind of like to do, like, the poly thing? Just, like, date around

right now.

Y 'all, I just, maybe we are just so different in that fashion. I couldn't

imagine that.

Yeah, you're more like thinking forever.

Yeah, isn't that what dating is for? It's for forever?

I don't know. We're so young.

I don't know.

This is the time.

Like, what, are you going to decide to marry an old person?

Yeah. Come on.

You don't know, with me especially.

You have always been the fucking wild card.

Ever since school.

Crazy.

Do you remember that one time you almost got suspended?

When we ran out on a Wednesday?

Yeah! Oh my gosh, that was so much fun.

The dean was so mad.

Those were such fun days.

I can't believe we're here now. I'm so happy we still became roommates as we

always planned.

And we have you two to add to the fun.

Who says free is a company, right?

So how are you going to do your makeup? Do you think for it?

I think I was just gonna leave, like, my casual... I don't know. No, like, do

what you do normal. You want to show him the real you.

Right. I'm thinking maybe adding some, like, eyelashes or something.

Yeah, kind of line it up just a little. A little bit.

Well, when you want to, like, draw his attention to your eyes, his eyes are the

window to the soul.

True. You know?

Yeah. Like, you can tell so much about a person when you look in their eyes.

Uh -huh. Can I use that blush you got the other day? Yeah, it's so pretty. I

think it'll really help a little bit of color.

Yeah, it'll help me in your symptoms so much, too.

I don't know how to shut the curtains when I get out of the shower.

Yeah, I know. I drip water everywhere.

I think you should

curl your hair and throw on some lashes.

It'll be a really good bath for you.

And I did not look really good with the outfit, just like a cute natural look.

I think I want to do actually the pink shirt with that skirt we were talking

about. I love pink, especially with your red hair.

Like, I know people think I'm not supposed to, but I like it. Yeah.

I think it's like a really warm, sweet heart kind of vibe.

I look like a Barbie doll.

Yeah! The one with the heart in the middle. Oh, yes!

I love it!

I feel like all my...

Well, you are a little love bug.

I love it.

Yeah, it's a pink top.

Your tips look so good in that top. Yeah, I don't know what tips I have.

I mean, but that's what I mean. I'll take it where you get it, honey.

If they look good, they look good, and you take that opportunity and show them

off. That skirt is so slutty, though. I feel like I'm exposing so much of my ass

and stuff.

I could wear socks or something, too.

Yeah.

I'm just going to be so cold.

I totally bring a cardigan.

I hate wearing cardigans. Do you need like a shawl?

I don't know.

I'm just like having my whole shoulders out, I think.

Whoa. We could change up the socks and be like knee -high socks. Yeah, that's

what I was thinking. Maybe cover your legs a little bit more.

Yeah. Yeah. And if you're cold, you know, you have this cute fast -forwarded

jacket. Or the gentleman has to be the opposite to you. Like, just really be

like, hello.

So cliche.

Yeah, but it's like a good test of character.

Like, do you think you're going to be, like, polite?

I don't know.

All I know is I hope this is the one because I'm tired of going through tubs

ice cream when you break up with someone.

You take it harder than I do.

Listen, I'm sensitive, okay?

Are you going to be out late tonight?

Like should we get the door unlocked for you? No, I'm just, I don't know. But

you're going to go, right?

Oh yeah, I just got my sunglasses and my hoodie. You're so right. I'm just

excited. I'm going to take notes.

No, stop. And I'm going to take secret cute pictures of him if he is the one.

And then you'll have pictures at your wedding of when you first met. That

be weird.

Well, by then it won't be weird. You'll be engaged.

Oh, yeah.

It'll be cute. Look at you thinking about the future again.

We just can't tell him for the first two weeks because that's definitely going

to scare him off.

The stalker.

I'm telling you, it's not going to be weird.

I kind of want you there just in case shit goes south and then we can just dip

and then do something else.

I wonder what he drives.

The most important question.

Right? Oh, my gosh. I hope it's not some, like, beat -down hooptie, you

I mean, that was like, like, Diesel guy at least had that truck, even though it

kind of was obviously in a tiny dick.

Did he?

It's so true about them then.

It's true. When they drive the big truck, they have the smallest dick.

That's why it didn't work out with us, obviously.

Yeah, what if he tries a Prius?

Right?

He better not ask you to go half and half on the bill at dinner.

Otherwise, I'm going to walk right up to your table and just like... No, he's

getting the whole thing. Okay, he better. Yeah,

he offered, so he has to pay. That's true.

What if he turns to make out with you on the first date?

You know I'm a fucking whore. I'll probably let him.

All right.

Well, let's look at you dressed, girl.

What do you want to watch?

I don't know.

I'm thinking, like, something funny.

Yeah, comedy. I could totally go for that.

Oh, wait. There was this new show.

The kind of raunchy one.

About the bondage. Oh, about the leavening. Is it called bonding?

What are you guys watching? I don't know. Something about, like, bondage.

I'm going to type it in with you. Like, I don't know, like, that sex and chains

type shit.

Yeah.

How long into it are you?

We just got started.

Oh, yeah.

Let's start on the first episode.

Yeah.

I mean, it looks kind of sexy already. Look at that lighting.

Yeah. Is that a giant dildo? Yes. Oh, Jesus.

Could you imagine, like, putting... Oh, my God. That's huge.

Oh, my God. It looked like his hand was inside of it for a second. Like, he was

kissing the dildo. Yeah.

Damn,

she's kind of a bad bitch, though. Yeah, I like her outfit.

Yeah, I want that.

Yeah, this is a pretty good movie.

I actually think it's a series.

Yeah, this is a series. Yeah, which I'm excited about. Like, you know, you get

to see more of it. Oh, okay.

Yeah.

You can tell they're both new to that. It's funny.

You think that guy likes being tied up like that? Yeah, I think, yeah, he's

totally digging that.

They're, like, talking shit to him. I know.

That's crazy. He's like, what the fuck?

Yeah, that'd be kind of a fun job, though. Yeah, that would be so fun.

Earrings are so cool. I want those. I like her choker too. They go together.

What is that guy even doing there? He's just standing there staring. I think he

like paid them for like an experience type of a thing.

Yeah.

Huh.

And the other guy's just like an assistant.

Like he's not even doing anything.

Oh, yeah.

This movie's pretty interesting.

You keep calling it a movie. It's a show. Oh, show.

Got it.

Sorry. You're so dumb.

People call me a blonde sometimes.

That was a short episode. I didn't realize the episodes were so short.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was, like, what, 15 minutes at most? Oh, and there's two seasons on

here. Oh, thank God. I thought we were going to, like, binge watch, like, one

season and then be done. I hate when shows do that.

Are they at a comedy club?

That's kind of a fun idea. We should, like, do that sometime.

I think that'd be fun.

Well.

We should kind of take a few ideas from this show.

Aww, they're like on a little bestie date.

What are they even doing?

They're gonna say, okay, first of all, we're gonna go to a comedy club and

they're not listening.

That doesn't make sense, right?

Mm -mm. Mm -mm.

Oh my god, that shirt is so fucking groovy though.

With the paisley.

I love it.

Do you guys think you could ever go, like, on stage and do comedy? Oh, God,

No? I don't have jokes to say in my life.

Oh, you should record a date there with a guy.

In a comedy club? I don't know if I like comedy clubs in, like, real life.

Yeah, they do kind of seem like a very, like, Hollywood type.

Like, one of those, like, fake things that they do.

Like how high schools on shows always have, like, those lockers and stuff. So,

like, what school actually has lockers like that?

Maybe I just need to get out more.

Is that guy gay? I can't even tell.

Yeah, the ginger is definitely gay.

Oh, she's cute.

No, he's totally gay.

Yeah. My gay guard is going off so much.

You guys are really good at reading, people.

It's the perm that gives it away.

I think those are natural.

No, that's definitely a perm. The ginger?

No, yeah, that's a perm.

I think it is.

No, you're right. Look at the back of his hair. Yeah, you're right. The back

his hair is flat.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah. No, those girls are a perm.

Look at that.

Yep. No, he's good. Yeah.

Do you see the brunette though? She's so cute. Dude, I would do her. Yeah.

Are you kidding? She's so hot.

I haven't seen that actress before.

I haven't. This is like the only thing I actually think I've seen her in. Yeah,

this is probably like her big debut or something.

You know, good for her though. For a film or something.

Yeah. I haven't seen her before, but she's cute.

You know, maybe she'll pop off.

I think she will. She's a good actor.

She kind of reminds me of, like, another one that I've seen before.

She has, like, that face shape that's, like, similar.

From that one show with, like, the crazy -ass family and the drunk dad and,

like, they live in the hood or something.

You know, they have, like, all these siblings.

I don't remember that one. I feel like she could be, like, Zooey Deschanel if

she had bangs or something.

Oh, you're so right. She's, like, a Zooey type.

Yeah.

Like, that cute.

Mm -hmm. Like.

Hot librarian look, kind of a thing, but, like, quirky.

I don't know. I like it.

I like the whole, like, Bessie vibe with the bondage thing they got going with

it. Yeah, how he's, like, her, like, assistant.

Mm -hmm.

No, it was a nice concept that they threw in, I think.

There's always dildos in this! This is very new age, though. I feel like they

couldn't get away with a show like this, like, before. Oh, totally.

It's cool. Like, sex stuff.

Wait, did you see the guy in the...

Fucking baby outfit with the diaper.

What kind of fucking fetish is that?

They come up with some crazy ass shit nowadays.

People are just fucking stepping on it.

That's funny.

That's so hot. Look at that.

She doesn't even care.

She's just like, you're annoying.

That's like inspiring.

Oh, role play.

Is that like a class? Yeah, he's teaching a class about roleplay. Oh my

That's the class I want to take. That was fun.

He's not that bad looking. I know, right? I was going to say, the teacher's

of like, too.

She's, like, distracted.

Do you think she ends up hooking up with him?

Dude, I don't know. It kind of, like, looks like they're...

I'm a little... They're foreshadowing that a little. I'm gonna say, I'm a

invested in, like, the relationship.

Yeah, like, she fucks her roleplay teacher, that's hot.

Right, but, oh, but then this other girl looks like she's kind of into him, too.

She's totally the antagonist. Like, she's probably, like, the bitchy mean

that's gonna try to be like, fuck me, fuck me, and then she's the actual,

winner. It's always the Bernays. Yeah! Oh my god, right?

With that fucking, with the collar and the blue and the necklace. What a

little preppy bitch.

Look at the headband.

She's not having it.

Look at her. Yeah, she's over it.

Aw, little guy's night at the dinner.

I love that.

You know, I'm kind of getting into this show.

I remember seeing the guy with the glasses on the trailer. Like, he ends up

dating the ginger guy. Yeah.

Wait, really?

Yeah, the guy with the glasses. Oh, I love that. That's kind of cute.

I totally ship it.

Oh, see? Yeah, here. See, it shows them. Isn't this very cute? Wait,

he, like, looks at him. Yeah.

You can totally tell.

Yeah,

they're cute together.

I approve of this.

This show has gotten totally invested now.

Is that, like, a coffee shop that they're at, though, or, like, a diner?

like a diner or something.

It's pretty cute.

That's the class.

I wonder if that class does more than just, like, role play. Like, does he

them the bondage, too? I think it's something different every class. Or they

over, or, like, you know, that's something different every time.

Huh.

Oh, my God, he's probably trying to hit on her. Oh, yeah, the kids. You're

right, you're right, you're right. Maybe they're going to end up together. No, I

think she's trying to, like, fuck the teacher's dick. Oh, and he's

Cock blocking. Yeah, like, there's a little complicated love mess going on

She's like, you're not my type. Yeah, he's fucking great.

Here you go.

Screwing this one up.

I don't like that blonde bitch on there. Oh, she's annoying.

I know. You can tell by that side eye she just gave him. That was not honey.

That teacher though.

Yeah. He can get it.

I kind of like a scene from Men With Facial Hair.

Yeah, he grows very good.

Man, I think I have a new man crush.

I don't even know who that actor is. Yeah, these are a lot of new ones to me.

feel like this is one of those low budget kind of things where they just

random actors. Yeah, they're like, let's make a show and see if it works. And it

ended up really working.

It's good for them though. I mean, there's gonna be a lot of new faces.

I'm so tired of seeing the same fucking celebrities in the tabloids all the

time. And then they hire the old people to play young kids in a school or

something. Yeah. Just hire a new actor.

Well, and then you see one actor in everything, and then you get stuck with

as one character.

Yes, and you get it in your head that that's who they are.

Yeah, I can barely hear it. But the subtitles are true. Yeah, I'll just put

captions on.

Oh my god, that's so much better.

How fun, they had a sex shop.

I've never actually been inside one of those. What? No.

We live together for the form. We haven't been to a sex shop. We have to

What are you going?

Who's taking you to the sex shop? I go all the time. Have you seen there? You

haven't seen, like, those little tiny bikinis that are, like, super small?

the micro -bikinis? Yes, that's how I get them. That's why, because they're so

fucking bloody. That's, like, the only place you can get them.

I thought those were, like, ordered online or something. No, because, like,

ones on Amazon are just, like, they're shit. They, like, last for, like, a day.

And then, like, the strings will be too short.

Oh, that makes sense. I feel like it's always, like, really cheaply made. Yeah,

go to a sex shop because they'll have, like, the best microkinis. And then,

like, little waist chains and stuff that you can, like, accessorize.

But not all just, like, sex stuff. But also, like, did you see they made this

new dildo that's, like, uncut? It has, like, the foreskin on it. So it's,

like... Yeah, so you put lube in it and, like, the foreskin moves.

That's not very kosher.

But, like... I'm so down.

That sounds like fun. They have all sorts of shit now.

I kind of want to go and just get some, like, gag gifts or something for them.

Yeah. No, they have, yeah, they have, like, dick popsicles and that kind of

thing. Oh, we should have, like, a dick -themed party.

That would be hilarious.

That's funny.

I'm so down.

Oh, we should sign up for our assistant.

That took a while. Oh, they're practicing, like, a knot.

I didn't pay attention to that.

I'll pull that out on my next Tinder date.

He looks so confused.

He's like, what are you doing?

Watch her leave him in the ropes.

Dude, I kind of would if he was pissing me off. I'd be like, bye, boy.

I'm high yourself.

Oh my god, she totally did just leave him.

I can't believe that.

I feel like it's kind of, how hard do you think it is to untie yourself from

that? Oh, that would be so impossible.

And she's all yelling at her little slave man.

Yeah.

Oh my god, her boots are to tie for.

Those literally go all the way up to her fucking pussy.

I love it. That's the girl from the...

The Good Place! She's like the robot in The Good Place. Oh my gosh!

I didn't know she was in that. This is the first actress I recognized on this

show. Yeah, precisely.

But she's there too because The Good Place is the first time that I saw her.

has a really distinct -looking face too. Yeah, like an alien. That was like a

Sam's type of recognition. She reminds me of a sim.

Yeah, true. Like a simulation thing.

So I guess the casting was great for The Good Place.

Oh my god, that was the best cast. I really liked that one, though. I've seen

all the series or the seasons that they have out. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, that was a good one. I kind of didn't like some of, like, the endings,

but... I know. I feel like it kind of went weird at the end. I stopped

it. I feel like they didn't know where to take it. Yeah.

Because they did such a good job on the first season.

Well, like, the whole idea was good. They were like, okay, we have a place,

it's good, and then we have a place, and it's bad.

Yeah, and then there's the middle place.

plot twist that is the bad place. Yeah. And then, just, like, from then on, I

don't know.

They could have done better.

Oh, my God.

Her whole fucking outfit. Wait, she stood up, and I just can't. Oh, yeah.

skirt is so cute. That is so cute. So cute.

Honestly, that whole room with the pink and the black, like, the latex. I know.

I know. I love the lighting situation.

I kind of want that in my bedroom.

Why don't we, like, work from a living room like that?

Would you be down at the living room? Oh, yeah, with like the LEDs and

everything.

Oh, what are they going to do with that? They just probably put out a bunch of

cellophane or whatever.

Huh. I don't know. Oh, they're going to put out.

Do you think they're going to pee on him?

Probably. That's probably what's going to go down. Or they're going to put

something on him.

Messy. Yeah.

It's this guy. It's the same guy again. Yeah, but this time, like, he's in that

fucking suit.

He looks, yeah.

He looks like he just came from work.

He's also, like, he's on this leaf suit. He's like, hmm.

I want to wear just suspenders like the ginger.

That'd be, oh. That's kind of hot.

Like, uh, like Misty from Pokemon.

Oh, my gosh. The red suspenders. I should totally cosplay. We should do,

whole Pokemon theme, like, group.

For Halloween.

That would be fun. Look, they have those, like, clear suits on so they

wet. I kind of dig those. They look so professional.

Yeah. They're like, we're here to get things wet.

You guys have really good taste in shows.

Yeah, this is a good one.

I kind of just, like, trust the algorithm.

Right. And everything is still doing me wrong. Like, the suggestions they give

me. There's so much shit to watch these days. Yeah.

I like how they're putting raunchier stuff on Netflix.

Yeah, they're really, like, testing the limits with things. I like it.

Okay, her hole looks such a vibe.

Do you think he's, so you've seen, like,

like, previews before, right? I did see, like, previews, yeah. Oh, okay, I

thought you, like, thought this out, because I have no idea which one. I'm

like, got me, like, intrigued.

I want to do, like, half the stuff they're doing on here.

I bet you they have, like, Isn't it called, like, a dungeon or something?

yeah. I feel like these rooms are kind of similar. They have some stuff like

that. Yeah.

I bet you they have, like, a safe place you can go explore whatever you wanted

to explore.

You can take your date there.

Oh, really?

Yeah, a little horror. That's fucking edgy.

Show me really neat business.

What is going on? I have no idea. What the fuck is he doing? He's peeing on

Is he peeing on him?

What else was the, like, all the, was that cellophane?

What else was that for?

These are short episodes, but damn, it's already over. Yeah. He's like, we're

peeing on him and we're done. And we're done. That end there. Enjoy it.

I thought she was going to pee on him, too. I was kind of excited.

Maybe they looked confused at first before he started peeing. Maybe that's

they were confused.

Yeah.

Do you guys want to, like, watch something else?

Wait, do you want to watch like an actual movie?

Yeah, that was kind of the plan before.

This is good though, we'll come back.

Yeah.

Why is the gay guy though? They look kind of sexy to me.

Yeah. That's no fair. Guys are always either gay or gay again. I know, right?

All the good ones.

And so you can only get the douchey roommate who's not even cute.

Of course he's a straight one.

You can tell these are just a chat. Alright, okay. Let's look at the...

let's look at the... Karen, do you want me to try to find something?

I was going to say, they have these categories, but sometimes they're dumb.

Have you seen that new thing where it just says, it's kind of like the shuffle

button on your phone for music? What?

Yeah, but it'll just pick a random show or movie. Okay.

We'll try that.

Yeah, we can just skip it.

Some historical thing?

No, no. I don't want to watch a documentary right now.

We're talking about aliens.

Aliens.

Aliens. Aliens.

Um, no.

Maybe, like, something funny.

Funny? Well, wait, it's shuffle, so it's just all, wait, can you shuffle, like,

certain things?

Oh, like, a category.

Yeah. Yeah.

No, I don't think it's that. Let's, like, go into the comedy section.

Do you want to watch that? Oh yeah, yeah, let's watch that. Okay, oh my god,

was dying to watch that. Oh, and yes, didn't you love it?

Oh my god, she is like my favorite actress ever. She was so good.

Look at those earrings, those look heavy as fuck.

Oh, that's my favorite part.

I have to make a sequel.

Because I read the books to this before they made the movie. Oh, wait, I didn't

even know there was books.

So there's a book series, and there's, like, six books in the series.

Six books? Oh, my God. So they do it, like, two. Where do you get time to read

all of that?

I mean, like, you know, whenever I get a ride somewhere, if it's kind of far,

like, I'll read in the car.

Or, like, if I get up a little early in the morning, it's nice to have some me

time. Oh, yeah. You know.

Like, it's kind of like read a chapter, and it goes by.

They're not like super duper long, but they're really great books.

But yeah, I was dying for the movie to come out because I saw that they were

making it.

And I hope it doesn't like flop so they actually make them equal.

Yeah.

McKibby, you know, he's in the big thing.

Oh, I didn't know they put him in this.

I love him too.

That was a good one.

He did really good with that one actress too who was like...

His, like, love interest or something.

They had really good on -screen chemistry.

They always have her playing, like, the funny best friend sidekick.

I really like it so far. I think they didn't do too bad. What do you guys

Oh, I love that Hawaiian shirt. Thank you. Yeah.

It's giving me a major, like, dad at a barbecue vibe. Dad vibe.

Yeah, but it's kind of hot.

Hot dad vibe. Hot dad. Dilt.

Dilt.

Yeah, total dilt vibe.

Oh, but what is that, like, weird striped hoodie thing? Ew, and it's,

bubblegum colored.

It's, like, the best thing.

When's the best time to wear a striped hoodie? That's all the time? All the

time. All the fucking time.

This whole wardrobe of this movie is confusing me because I can't

tell what time period they're in. There's kind of some 90s vibes.

I don't know.

She's wearing pearls with a fancy blouse over there.

You're right, that is kind of confusing. And then he's got this weird striped

hoodie. Like he's a 16 -year -old boy or something.

Yeah, like, what are we doing here?

And he looks mad nervous.

What does that look like he's doing?

He's like...

She always just has,

like, a restful speech face.

I swear she's worn the same top, but in, like, different colors every season.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't even notice that. Like, it's literally been the same

top, just a different color.

Oh! That bitch just fell.

She's wasted. Go home, honey. You're drunk.

Oh, my God. She literally faded.

Yeah, she literally faded.

You ever experience that one girl's bar? Yes, every single time.

Oh, my God.

There's always someone to talk your ear off about.

I'm always, like, the sober homie every time I go out, so I'm always dealing

with him. I'm the one that's, like... Oh, crap.

Oh, yep. That's me right there.

Oh, really?

Are you a lightweight or what? Don't lie. You pulled my hair back for it. I

you for that, too.

That's why we live together.

Right? Homies will be homies always.

I need someone to, like, just keep all the fucking creepers away. Guys are

always hitting on me. Yeah, they are. Because you're a little blonde. That's

why. I know.

I just, like, can't stand it.

Between the two of us, we're, like, attracting way too much attention. Oh,

gosh. They're like, come to me, baby. Come to me.

We used to just, like, lay in bed and, like, talk about boys all night like

that. Yeah.

Back in high school, that was crazy.

It just seemed like so long ago, but it wasn't. Like, time goes by so fast.

We should start doing that again. Like, we should have sleepovers. Like, I know

we live together, but, like, let's have sleepovers. Like, we could, like, build

a fort and have popcorn.

Hey, we can't do this.

I told her I ordered food. When do you think it's going to get here?

I'm not sure. I don't know. It was from the further location, so I think it's

going to be a little bit.

That's true.

God, I need to wash my hair later.