Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,505
- What's that?
- My high school yearbook.
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,508
Hey, do you remember a
girl named Jamie Eckelberry?
3
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,427
- No.
- Yeah, sure you do.
4
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,804
She used to hang out
at the house all the time.
5
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:16,225
Oh, yeah. Eckelberry Hound.
6
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,561
Not a name she was fond of.
7
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:24,524
Hey, I didn't make it up.
I just spread it around. What about her?
8
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,903
Oh, she called the alumni association
and tracked me down.
9
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:31,949
How does that work? They let her
sniff one of your sweaters?
10
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:35,869
She e-mailed me. She's in town
on business, and I invited her over.
11
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:40,207
Great. I'll get out of your way.
Just keep her off the good rug.
12
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,961
Very funny. No. For your
information, it's not a date.
13
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:47,172
She's just a friend who has become
very successful in her field.
14
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:51,551
Oh, that's nice that she
has a field to run around in.
15
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:56,515
- It's getting old, Charlie.
- In people years or dog years?
16
00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:00,727
Sorry. Oh, look.
You remember Miss Hanrahan?
17
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:05,190
- Sure. I had her for sophomore English.
- I had her in the teachers' lounge.
18
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,403
Oh, that's Jamie. Be nice.
19
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:12,656
I'm always nice. Ask Miss Hanrahan.
20
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,159
- I'm serious.
- Relax. I'm just gonna say hello...
21
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,996
...scratch her behind the ear,
and then I'm out of here.
22
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,833
- You done with the dog jokes?
- Yes.
23
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:26,211
- Good.
- I hope she looks fetching.
24
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:31,550
Okay, I guess I had one more.
25
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,679
- Alan.
- Jamie.
26
00:02:05,699 --> 00:02:10,162
Do you remember how Stuart Negelman
used to tell everybody you were gay?
27
00:02:10,371 --> 00:02:12,665
Don't remind me.
I had one Boy George album...
28
00:02:12,831 --> 00:02:15,793
...and suddenly
I'm queen of the fairies.
29
00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:18,504
You'll be happy to know
I ran into him in New York.
30
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:22,007
- And? Knew it.
- Gay.
31
00:02:22,341 --> 00:02:24,551
Okay, here we go.
32
00:02:24,718 --> 00:02:28,597
Two margaritas,
and a rum and Diet Coke.
33
00:02:28,764 --> 00:02:30,933
- Thank you, Charlie.
- You're welcome.
34
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,977
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
35
00:02:37,356 --> 00:02:42,111
So Stuart Negelman: Buttoned-down,
or singing show tunes on a float?
36
00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:45,030
Very macho. Owns a gym in SoHo.
37
00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:47,825
Speaking of which, you look
like you're in good shape.
38
00:02:47,991 --> 00:02:51,829
- I have kept up with the hacky sack.
- Good for you.
39
00:02:51,995 --> 00:02:55,290
And you. I cannot get over what
a beautiful woman you've become.
40
00:02:55,499 --> 00:03:00,170
- Oh, stop it. You're embarrassing me.
- Too bad. It's true.
41
00:03:05,259 --> 00:03:09,596
Charlie, that's lovely. You still play.
42
00:03:09,805 --> 00:03:11,557
Just professionally.
43
00:03:12,599 --> 00:03:16,729
- You became a musician?
- More a composer. Gotta pay the bills.
44
00:03:18,397 --> 00:03:21,567
Play the jingle you wrote for the
feminine deodorant commercial.
45
00:03:22,151 --> 00:03:24,111
Okay.
46
00:03:24,528 --> 00:03:29,700
Fresh as a summer breeze
Clean as a mountain spring
47
00:03:30,075 --> 00:03:33,412
No. You wrote that? I love that.
48
00:03:34,288 --> 00:03:36,957
Hey, hey, did I tell you
that I was voted...
49
00:03:37,124 --> 00:03:40,461
...Chiropractor of the Year by the San
Fernando Valley Chiropractic Association?
50
00:03:40,669 --> 00:03:43,505
Oh, that's fantastic, Alan.
You must be very proud.
51
00:03:43,714 --> 00:03:48,844
Well, it's not pride so much as the
satisfaction I get from helping people.
52
00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:53,599
Carefree, so carefree
53
00:03:53,807 --> 00:03:57,519
What every woman wants to be
54
00:04:00,230 --> 00:04:02,983
Hey. Hey, you know
what would be fun?
55
00:04:03,150 --> 00:04:06,361
A session of Dungeons & Dragons.
Like the old days, you know?
56
00:04:06,528 --> 00:04:10,657
- Just the two of us.
- Wow, I haven't played in years.
57
00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:13,243
Or we can go down to the beach
and go for a swim.
58
00:04:13,452 --> 00:04:16,455
- I didn't bring a suit.
- So my plan is working.
59
00:04:18,373 --> 00:04:22,044
You know, I think I'll take a rain check.
Do you mind if I use your restroom?
60
00:04:22,252 --> 00:04:23,795
Down the hall on the right.
61
00:04:23,962 --> 00:04:25,672
Thank you.
62
00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:31,678
Don't you have enough women?
63
00:04:32,179 --> 00:04:36,099
No. Anyway, you said she
was just an old friend.
64
00:04:36,308 --> 00:04:37,935
Well, that was before I saw her.
65
00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:40,646
Come on, I spent years
laying the groundwork for this.
66
00:04:40,854 --> 00:04:43,899
And yet you never erected
anything on the site.
67
00:04:44,107 --> 00:04:46,068
Because she didn't look like that then.
68
00:04:46,276 --> 00:04:48,153
Oh, shame on you, Alan Harper.
69
00:04:49,196 --> 00:04:52,366
Don't you know a woman is so much
more than what's on the outside?
70
00:04:52,574 --> 00:04:55,577
She's a mountain spring,
a summer breeze and I saw her first.
71
00:04:56,036 --> 00:04:57,788
What are you, 11?
72
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:02,000
Come on. She's smart, she's beautiful,
she's the kind of woman who...
73
00:05:02,209 --> 00:05:04,503
- You could never get?
- Exactly.
74
00:05:07,422 --> 00:05:09,675
Well, if she's that important to you.
75
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,802
She is, she is. Very much.
76
00:05:11,969 --> 00:05:14,179
- Okay, fine. I'm out of it.
- Really?
77
00:05:14,388 --> 00:05:15,931
Happy birthday.
78
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:20,018
Isn't that presumptuous? You think you
can just give this woman as a gift?
79
00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:23,271
- Okay, forget it.
- No, no. Happy birthday to me.
80
00:05:24,398 --> 00:05:28,944
Listen, I have an early meeting in the
morning, so I should probably get going.
81
00:05:29,152 --> 00:05:32,906
Oh, no, no. The night is so young,
and Charlie was just leaving.
82
00:05:33,073 --> 00:05:36,076
Yeah, if I don't start drinking now,
I'll be up all night.
83
00:05:36,952 --> 00:05:39,871
I really have to get going.
What about dinner tomorrow night?
84
00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:42,290
- That would be great.
- Okay, terrific.
85
00:05:42,457 --> 00:05:44,501
Why don't the three of us
meet at 7?
86
00:05:44,918 --> 00:05:46,837
The... The three of us?
87
00:05:48,255 --> 00:05:50,799
Oh, gee. Tomorrow night? I can't.
88
00:05:51,008 --> 00:05:54,970
Oh, come on, Charlie.
I'm only in town for a few days.
89
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:58,306
It wouldn't be the same
without you. Right, Alan?
90
00:05:58,473 --> 00:06:02,227
That's... That's true.
It would be different. But still good.
91
00:06:02,436 --> 00:06:05,230
No, no, no. You guys have
a lot of catching up to do.
92
00:06:05,439 --> 00:06:08,358
I insist. Charlie, you have to come.
93
00:06:08,525 --> 00:06:10,819
Well, if it's okay with Alan...
94
00:06:11,903 --> 00:06:14,239
Of course.
95
00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:18,452
Okay, great. Then I will
see you both tomorrow.
96
00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:20,036
- Okay.
- Thank you.
97
00:06:20,203 --> 00:06:22,622
- Can't wait.
- I know. Me too. Good night.
98
00:06:22,789 --> 00:06:24,291
Bye.
99
00:06:27,919 --> 00:06:31,423
So I'll get you something else
for your birthday.
100
00:06:31,631 --> 00:06:33,425
You like hookers?
101
00:06:34,134 --> 00:06:36,261
Charlie, we agreed you're out.
Now stay out.
102
00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:38,889
- All right, fine. I won't go.
- Thank you.
103
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:46,354
Wait! If you don't come,
she'll think I told you not to come.
104
00:06:46,563 --> 00:06:47,898
There is that possibility.
105
00:06:48,231 --> 00:06:50,901
That's your plan. To make me
look petty and insecure.
106
00:06:51,109 --> 00:06:53,528
Alan, I don't have to plan for that.
107
00:06:53,862 --> 00:06:57,782
Let me tell you something. You're coming
with us, whether you like it or not.
108
00:06:58,366 --> 00:07:00,243
All right.
109
00:07:01,077 --> 00:07:03,246
Wait!
110
00:07:04,164 --> 00:07:06,458
- We should take your new Mercedes.
- Fine.
111
00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:09,503
- I should drive it so she thinks it's mine.
- Okay.
112
00:07:11,671 --> 00:07:13,590
Wait!
113
00:07:13,798 --> 00:07:16,218
She'll never believe
I drive a Mercedes.
114
00:07:17,135 --> 00:07:20,180
You'll drive my old Volvo
so that she thinks it's yours.
115
00:07:20,388 --> 00:07:25,143
Whatever. That just means you'll
be sitting in the backseat alone.
116
00:07:25,727 --> 00:07:27,395
Wait!
117
00:07:28,605 --> 00:07:32,984
Charlie, I can't believe that after
all these years, you're still single.
118
00:07:33,193 --> 00:07:34,736
Well...
119
00:07:38,949 --> 00:07:40,617
It's not that hard to believe.
120
00:07:40,784 --> 00:07:45,038
I'm a selfish, promiscuous,
commitment-phobic man.
121
00:07:45,205 --> 00:07:50,001
Alan, on the other hand, is a very
generous, loyal, one-woman kind of guy.
122
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:53,255
Guilty.
123
00:07:55,215 --> 00:07:57,759
Why doesn't that surprise me?
124
00:07:57,926 --> 00:07:59,469
Now, what is surprising...
125
00:07:59,636 --> 00:08:03,890
...is to hear a man be so honest
and forthcoming about his flaws.
126
00:08:04,349 --> 00:08:08,687
Charlie, you are
a real breath of fresh air.
127
00:08:08,895 --> 00:08:10,814
Guilty.
128
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:18,697
But if you really want a breath
of fresh air, take a lungful of Alan.
129
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:23,576
He is a true gentleman.
130
00:08:23,785 --> 00:08:25,578
Oh, Alan's always been a gentleman.
131
00:08:25,745 --> 00:08:29,499
I remember one time we were kids. We
were in my bedroom playing Stratego...
132
00:08:29,666 --> 00:08:33,461
...and my blouse came unbuttoned,
and Alan, instead of sneaking a peek...
133
00:08:33,628 --> 00:08:39,718
...like a lot of guys would do, averted
his eyes and said, "Jamie, bosom."
134
00:08:40,260 --> 00:08:42,470
Really. Is that true, Alan?
135
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:46,474
Pretty much. We were
playing Boggle, not Stratego.
136
00:08:46,683 --> 00:08:50,437
Well, there you go.
A gentleman. A better man than I.
137
00:08:50,645 --> 00:08:55,608
Oh, don't put yourself down, Charlie.
You seem like a wonderful man to me.
138
00:08:56,067 --> 00:09:00,071
Yeah, but you heard him. I'm better.
139
00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:05,493
Excuse me.
140
00:09:09,914 --> 00:09:12,751
I'll be right back.
I think he wants to talk.
141
00:09:12,959 --> 00:09:15,587
You know, you are such
a good brother.
142
00:09:15,795 --> 00:09:17,672
You have no idea.
143
00:09:22,886 --> 00:09:24,763
"Bosom"?
144
00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:27,182
Forget that.
What the hell are you doing?
145
00:09:27,348 --> 00:09:30,935
What? I'm trying to make you look
good. Turns out it's not that easy.
146
00:09:31,519 --> 00:09:33,938
You look like you're trying
to make me look good...
147
00:09:34,105 --> 00:09:35,815
...but you're making you look good.
148
00:09:35,982 --> 00:09:38,568
I don't know how,
but that's the net result.
149
00:09:38,735 --> 00:09:41,196
- Alan, you're being ridiculous.
- Am I? I think not.
150
00:09:41,362 --> 00:09:44,032
From the minute we walked in,
you've been sabotaging me.
151
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,577
- How?
- How? Look at where I'm sitting.
152
00:09:47,786 --> 00:09:50,789
- What? You wanted to sit next to her.
- Yeah, and you let me.
153
00:09:52,332 --> 00:09:56,795
And now you get to stare into her eyes,
and I get to stare into her ear.
154
00:09:57,629 --> 00:09:59,798
What do you want from me?
Wanna change seats?
155
00:10:00,006 --> 00:10:01,633
Sure. That won't look suspicious.
156
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,970
I'm just trying to help, Alan.
Well, how about that? I do have to pee.
157
00:10:08,264 --> 00:10:10,058
You wanna help me?
Stop talking me up.
158
00:10:10,225 --> 00:10:11,392
- It's killing me.
- Okay.
159
00:10:11,726 --> 00:10:14,145
Stop putting yourself down.
That's killing me too.
160
00:10:14,354 --> 00:10:17,106
- Got it.
- Just sit there and eat your dinner...
161
00:10:17,273 --> 00:10:18,608
...and I'll play your game.
162
00:10:18,775 --> 00:10:20,235
Fine.
163
00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:22,278
You wanna shake on it?
164
00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:26,115
You're disgusting.
165
00:10:26,324 --> 00:10:28,535
Yeah, I'm disgusting.
166
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:31,704
At least I'm not the one
taking a squirt on my shoe.
167
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:38,545
Let me tell you something
about my brother.
168
00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:42,423
He puts himself down,
but he is truly a wonderful man.
169
00:10:42,590 --> 00:10:47,637
I mean, here's a guy,
single, good-Iooking, talented...
170
00:10:47,804 --> 00:10:51,015
- Well, l...
- You're too modest.
171
00:10:51,224 --> 00:10:54,185
Talented, a ton of money.
172
00:10:54,352 --> 00:10:57,981
And what does he do when his brother
and nephew need a place to live?
173
00:10:58,147 --> 00:11:02,193
Does he complain about us
cramping his style? No.
174
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:06,114
He opens up his home, and his heart.
175
00:11:06,281 --> 00:11:08,992
And frankly, I don't know
which one is bigger.
176
00:11:11,577 --> 00:11:15,248
You are an incredible human being.
177
00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:19,460
Can we get the damn check, please?
178
00:11:24,748 --> 00:11:27,751
Wait till you meet Jake.
He's a great kid.
179
00:11:27,918 --> 00:11:29,836
You're gonna love him. Right, Charlie?
180
00:11:30,045 --> 00:11:33,840
Don't oversell him, Alan.
He mostly sits around and eats.
181
00:11:34,007 --> 00:11:35,842
What do you guys like to do together?
182
00:11:36,051 --> 00:11:40,305
Oh, we do all kinds
of father-son things.
183
00:11:40,472 --> 00:11:45,477
- We go to the movies...
- Where he sits and eats.
184
00:11:45,644 --> 00:11:49,105
And we also build models...
185
00:11:49,856 --> 00:11:53,401
You know, airplanes, and
fly them off the deck.
186
00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:56,488
- That sounds like fun.
- Oh, it is. Jake loves it.
187
00:11:56,655 --> 00:11:58,615
I mean, he is a great kid.
188
00:11:58,823 --> 00:12:01,159
I can't wait to meet him.
189
00:12:01,326 --> 00:12:03,411
How about tomorrow afternoon?
190
00:12:03,578 --> 00:12:06,206
- Tomorrow sounds great.
- Good, good. It's a date.
191
00:12:06,373 --> 00:12:09,084
- So don't be late.
- Or we'll have to wait.
192
00:12:13,672 --> 00:12:15,757
Oh, okay. Here we are.
193
00:12:15,924 --> 00:12:19,844
Thank you so much.
I had a wonderful time.
194
00:12:21,471 --> 00:12:24,975
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Good night.
195
00:12:31,189 --> 00:12:33,191
Good night, Charlie.
196
00:12:37,195 --> 00:12:38,738
Good night.
197
00:12:41,157 --> 00:12:43,410
To the Batcave, Alfred.
198
00:12:44,869 --> 00:12:46,454
Go to hell.
199
00:12:46,621 --> 00:12:49,666
I was just sitting here.
I didn't put her tongue in my mouth.
200
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:51,418
You got tongue?
201
00:12:51,626 --> 00:12:54,337
Actually, looking back,
it was probably mine.
202
00:12:55,088 --> 00:12:57,215
Oh, relax. I'm just screwing with you.
203
00:12:57,382 --> 00:12:59,300
Besides, you're the one
who got the date.
204
00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:02,178
You had to pimp your kid
out to do it, but you got there.
205
00:13:02,387 --> 00:13:05,682
Hey, hey, there is nothing wrong
with bragging on my son.
206
00:13:05,849 --> 00:13:08,810
He's a reflection of me,
and if that compensates...
207
00:13:08,977 --> 00:13:11,187
...for some of my social clumsiness...
208
00:13:11,396 --> 00:13:14,107
And maybe rustles up a little tail.
209
00:13:14,274 --> 00:13:15,900
I am not pimping him out.
210
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:18,987
Don't bark at me. I'm proud of you.
211
00:13:19,779 --> 00:13:22,824
Thank you. And make yourself
scarce tomorrow.
212
00:13:22,991 --> 00:13:26,703
- I don't need any more of your help.
- Fine. You're on your own.
213
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:29,706
Now, hush up and drive
Miss Daisy home.
214
00:13:30,623 --> 00:13:33,501
Okay, Sky Captain. Ready to go?
215
00:13:33,668 --> 00:13:35,086
I guess.
216
00:13:35,253 --> 00:13:36,963
See how he loves this?
217
00:13:38,465 --> 00:13:40,467
Pilot to copilot. Contact.
218
00:13:41,092 --> 00:13:42,635
What?
219
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,098
- Contact.
- Why are you talking like that?
220
00:13:48,391 --> 00:13:50,852
Just... Just start the engine.
221
00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:54,105
Here we go. Ready for liftoff?
222
00:13:54,272 --> 00:13:56,483
It's not a rocket ship, Dad.
223
00:13:56,649 --> 00:13:59,152
I know that, Jake.
224
00:14:02,238 --> 00:14:04,657
Hey, it actually works.
225
00:14:04,824 --> 00:14:06,618
Bring it up. Bring it up.
226
00:14:06,785 --> 00:14:08,953
- Okay.
- Come on, Jake, up, up. It's...
227
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,580
- Don't yell.
- Give me that.
228
00:14:10,747 --> 00:14:12,499
- No, I'm doing it.
- Well, then do it.
229
00:14:12,707 --> 00:14:14,459
I am.
230
00:14:18,505 --> 00:14:20,381
Is that it?
231
00:14:21,299 --> 00:14:24,677
No, go get it, and we'll patch
her back up, like we always do.
232
00:14:24,886 --> 00:14:28,014
Can we just order
a pizza and watch TV?
233
00:14:28,223 --> 00:14:29,807
Go get the plane.
234
00:14:31,226 --> 00:14:32,936
This sucks.
235
00:14:34,479 --> 00:14:37,524
"This sucks." Isn't he a hoot?
236
00:14:39,317 --> 00:14:41,236
He's great.
237
00:14:41,945 --> 00:14:44,280
So...
238
00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:46,783
...here we are.
239
00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:48,618
Yep.
240
00:14:50,119 --> 00:14:54,040
I just cannot get over
how much you've changed.
241
00:14:54,499 --> 00:14:59,128
- You like?
- Yeah, me like. I mean... I mean, I like.
242
00:15:00,296 --> 00:15:01,673
So...
243
00:15:02,715 --> 00:15:04,509
...where's Charlie?
244
00:15:05,927 --> 00:15:07,720
This is all I could find.
245
00:15:10,598 --> 00:15:12,767
- Guess who that is.
- No way.
246
00:15:12,934 --> 00:15:16,437
- Way.
- What was going on with your hair?
247
00:15:17,605 --> 00:15:19,440
It's called a Jeri curl.
248
00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:23,403
It was my Michael Jackson period.
249
00:15:23,611 --> 00:15:25,405
Who's the tall guy next to you?
250
00:15:25,571 --> 00:15:27,699
Oh, that's me, Jake.
251
00:15:29,409 --> 00:15:31,786
Oh, sorry.
252
00:15:31,953 --> 00:15:34,080
Well, at least you look like a girl now.
253
00:15:34,706 --> 00:15:36,416
Thank you.
254
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:38,668
Was Dad your boyfriend?
255
00:15:38,835 --> 00:15:41,004
Oh, no, no.
Jamie and I were just friends.
256
00:15:41,212 --> 00:15:43,923
Yeah, we were never that way.
257
00:15:44,132 --> 00:15:46,259
Are you that way now?
258
00:15:47,302 --> 00:15:50,805
- Why don't you go watch TV?
- Finally.
259
00:15:54,892 --> 00:15:57,895
You know, Jamie, I've been thinking.
260
00:15:58,062 --> 00:16:01,524
You're single. I'm single.
Well, we have an awful lot in common.
261
00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:05,737
I mean, there's no reason
we couldn't try to be...
262
00:16:05,903 --> 00:16:08,656
...you know, more than friends.
263
00:16:08,865 --> 00:16:10,658
Is that something you'd want?
264
00:16:10,867 --> 00:16:12,827
Well...
265
00:16:13,619 --> 00:16:17,290
- Hey.
- Oh, darn.
266
00:16:17,749 --> 00:16:20,293
- Sorry to intrude.
- That's okay. It's good to see you.
267
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:22,045
I thought you were gonna be busy.
268
00:16:22,253 --> 00:16:25,548
I was. I went to a movie,
shot some pool...
269
00:16:25,715 --> 00:16:30,303
...bought a book, bought a shirt, drank
a bucket of coffee, read the book.
270
00:16:30,762 --> 00:16:33,431
And then it occurred to me:
"Hey, I have a home."
271
00:16:35,475 --> 00:16:37,769
Hey, Dad, can you microwave
some popcorn for me?
272
00:16:38,269 --> 00:16:42,065
- Why can't you make it for yourself?
- Remember what happened last time?
273
00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:44,984
You're old enough to make
popcorn without starting a fire.
274
00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:47,236
Okay, I'll give it a shot.
275
00:16:50,656 --> 00:16:52,533
I'll be right back.
276
00:16:54,035 --> 00:16:56,496
So Jake's a great kid, isn't he?
277
00:16:57,038 --> 00:16:58,664
Yeah, I suppose.
278
00:16:58,831 --> 00:17:02,585
I would never say this to Alan, but I
don't really care much for children.
279
00:17:05,004 --> 00:17:09,550
Well, the truth is, Alan's
not too fond of him either.
280
00:17:11,677 --> 00:17:14,096
He feeds the kid and keeps
a roof over his head...
281
00:17:14,263 --> 00:17:16,682
...but there's no
love lost between them.
282
00:17:18,643 --> 00:17:22,188
- Charlie, give it a rest.
- Sorry?
283
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,315
Why do you push me towards Alan...
284
00:17:24,482 --> 00:17:26,734
...when it's obvious
how much you want me?
285
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:31,155
He's got a birthday coming up.
286
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:37,036
Just tell me you want me.
287
00:17:37,954 --> 00:17:40,581
Go ahead, Charlie. Tell her.
288
00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:45,378
What? No, no. You two, with the
Dungeons, the Dragons, the Boggle.
289
00:17:45,545 --> 00:17:46,963
You should be together.
290
00:17:47,171 --> 00:17:50,758
Clearly she wants you, so let's be
grown-up, and I'll get out of the way...
291
00:17:50,925 --> 00:17:53,219
...so the two pretty people can mate.
292
00:17:53,803 --> 00:17:55,888
No, no, no, no.
You laid the foundation...
293
00:17:56,055 --> 00:17:58,975
...and you should, you know,
lay the rest of it.
294
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:02,562
I appreciate what you're trying to do,
but I am stepping aside...
295
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:04,939
- No, no. I'm stepping aside.
- No, no. I am.
296
00:18:05,106 --> 00:18:07,316
No, no, I'll step aside.
I will clear the way.
297
00:18:07,483 --> 00:18:11,153
Will you both just shut up?
You're ruining everything.
298
00:18:11,988 --> 00:18:14,699
- Nice going.
- Nice going.
299
00:18:14,865 --> 00:18:17,910
- Say it, Charlie.
- Say what?
300
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:24,083
Say that slick, cool, Charlie Harper
finally wants Eckelberry Hound.
301
00:18:27,837 --> 00:18:32,091
- You knew about that name?
- That name scarred me for life.
302
00:18:32,258 --> 00:18:35,720
It's the reason I haven't eaten
a carbohydrate since college.
303
00:18:36,512 --> 00:18:39,265
- Well, you do look good.
- You're damn right I look good...
304
00:18:39,432 --> 00:18:41,600
...you smug, shallow son of a bitch.
305
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:45,313
I have spent years working
and sweating and dreaming...
306
00:18:45,479 --> 00:18:49,442
...about the day that I would be
able to rub your smarmy nose in it.
307
00:18:49,817 --> 00:18:51,861
Okay, I'm getting mixed signals here.
308
00:18:53,696 --> 00:18:58,326
This is the signal, Charlie:
You can't have this.
309
00:18:58,492 --> 00:19:03,456
Not now, not ever.
Never, never, never!
310
00:19:04,248 --> 00:19:06,917
You know, I didn't make up
the Eckelberry Hound thing.
311
00:19:07,126 --> 00:19:10,171
But he did spread it around.
I was always your friend.
312
00:19:10,379 --> 00:19:13,716
Oh, please. I spent years
throwing myself at you, friend.
313
00:19:13,883 --> 00:19:17,094
Playing stupid nerd games
on my bed with my shirt open, buddy.
314
00:19:17,261 --> 00:19:19,388
Hoping that you would
kiss me or touch me...
315
00:19:19,555 --> 00:19:21,891
...or at least notice me
as a woman, pal!
316
00:19:23,267 --> 00:19:26,562
- You knew your shirt was open?
- Who do you think opened it?
317
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:34,278
But I wasn't pretty enough for you.
You wanted Donna DeMarco...
318
00:19:34,445 --> 00:19:37,615
...or Maxine Chernikoff,
just because they had big boobs...
319
00:19:37,782 --> 00:19:39,867
...and no excess facial hair.
320
00:19:40,659 --> 00:19:44,205
Oh, yeah. Donna DeMarco,
old Double D.
321
00:19:46,373 --> 00:19:49,085
Jamie, I had no idea. I am so sorry.
322
00:19:49,251 --> 00:19:54,215
But I was a stupid teenager.
I guess I just didn't appreciate you then.
323
00:19:54,423 --> 00:19:56,008
I guess not.
324
00:19:56,217 --> 00:20:01,055
But that was a long time ago.
I'm not a stupid teenager anymore.
325
00:20:01,222 --> 00:20:04,892
Do you think maybe you could forgive
me, and maybe we could try again?
326
00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:08,187
Is that what you really want, Alan?
327
00:20:08,646 --> 00:20:10,189
Very much.
328
00:20:11,649 --> 00:20:14,652
Well, eat your heart out.
329
00:20:14,819 --> 00:20:19,949
You can never have this.
Never, never, never!
330
00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:35,422
Well, I guess we know
why she's still single.
331
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:43,880
You're right, Dad. This is fun.
332
00:20:44,047 --> 00:20:47,050
Told you. It just takes a little
while to get the hang of it.
333
00:20:47,216 --> 00:20:49,218
See if I can bring it in for a landing.
334
00:20:49,385 --> 00:20:53,347
Probably not a good idea.
There's no real place to put it.
335
00:21:01,105 --> 00:21:03,733
What do you think Donna DeMarco's
doing these days?
336
00:21:29,884 --> 00:21:31,969
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
337
00:21:32,136 --> 00:21:34,222
[ENGLISH]
27261
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof