Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:05,172
Two white wines
and a Jack and ginger.
2
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,383
Please tell me the Jack and ginger
isn't for you.
3
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,636
No, it's for my girlfriend. Why?
4
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,722
You look like a woman of
discriminating taste...
5
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:16,266
...and mixing a quality
bourbon with ginger ale...
6
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:20,145
...is like putting Cheez Whiz
on lobster Newburgh.
7
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,107
Well, what if I said
the Jack and ginger was for me?
8
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,319
Well, then, I'd learn to live with it.
9
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,823
- Charlie.
- Gail.
10
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:36,328
Sorry I'm late. I stopped off at Radio
Barn, and wait till you see what I got.
11
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,538
Alan, I'm kind of in the middle of...
12
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,168
Damn you to hell.
13
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,504
- What? What did I do?
- Forget it.
14
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,798
It's who you are,
you can't help yourself.
15
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:51,385
Okay. Anyway, check this out.
Know what that is?
16
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:56,264
- A two megapixel, full-color webcam.
- Right.
17
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,809
How do I do it?
18
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:02,229
I got one for me and for Jake.
We can hook them to our computers...
19
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,107
...so when he's at his mother's,
we can have video chats.
20
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:06,525
- That's cool.
- Isn't it?
21
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:10,362
Yeah, with a couple of these, phone sex
becomes less phone and more sex.
22
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,365
These are to maintain
my relationship with Jake.
23
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,200
It's the worst part of the divorce:
24
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:18,036
- Only seeing him on weekends.
- I get that. I sympathize.
25
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:21,081
But you can see the validity
of my vision too, right?
26
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:26,628
Oh, look. Built-in microphone.
Totally hands-free. Perfect.
27
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,632
- Excuse me.
- Oh, hey, Gail. Good to see you again.
28
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,592
Don't move, don't talk.
29
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,346
- Are you Charlie Harper?
- Yeah. Why?
30
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,683
You were right. It's him.
31
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:44,354
What...? What...? What's funny?
32
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,314
Nothing.
33
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,985
So listen, can I buy you a drink?
34
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,448
He wants to buy me a drink.
35
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,452
Then what? We go back
to your beach house...
36
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:02,748
...sit on the deck, look at the stars, talk
about how you love being an uncle...
37
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,125
...and how you'd
like kids of your own...
38
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,628
...and by the way, I have the
most beautiful eyes in the world.
39
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,465
I'm sorry. Have we met before?
40
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,718
No. And we're not gonna meet now.
41
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:21,141
Okay. I have a bad feeling.
42
00:02:30,516 --> 00:02:32,602
Is the camera on?
43
00:02:32,894 --> 00:02:35,021
Good. Now, hit "connect."
44
00:02:35,229 --> 00:02:37,982
I can see you. Can you see me?
45
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,944
Yeah, yeah. I can hear you too.
You can hang up the phone.
46
00:02:42,111 --> 00:02:43,779
This is awesome.
47
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:47,033
- Yeah, we can see each other every day.
- Cool.
48
00:02:51,579 --> 00:02:53,206
So...
49
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,333
What's new?
50
00:02:55,499 --> 00:02:57,084
Nothing.
51
00:03:00,087 --> 00:03:02,215
What's new with you?
52
00:03:04,383 --> 00:03:06,052
Not much.
53
00:03:15,311 --> 00:03:18,606
- Hey, Charlie.
- Rose, stop.
54
00:03:19,148 --> 00:03:21,525
- What?
- We're friends now, right?
55
00:03:22,026 --> 00:03:23,110
Right.
56
00:03:23,277 --> 00:03:27,114
Our one-night stand is ancient history.
You're not stalking me anymore, right?
57
00:03:27,281 --> 00:03:30,826
- Right.
- Then use the damn stairs.
58
00:03:31,035 --> 00:03:33,329
- Really?
- Yes.
59
00:03:33,496 --> 00:03:35,081
Okay.
60
00:03:39,543 --> 00:03:43,589
- I'm opening up the gate.
- I'm proud of you.
61
00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:47,468
- I'm starting up the stairs.
- You can do it.
62
00:03:49,303 --> 00:03:51,055
Oh, boy.
63
00:03:51,222 --> 00:03:53,766
I don't know about this.
64
00:03:54,475 --> 00:03:56,602
- You'll get used to it.
- Yeah, we'll see.
65
00:03:59,563 --> 00:04:01,565
I'm surprised to see you home.
66
00:04:01,732 --> 00:04:04,276
- It's ladies' night at Pavlov's.
- I know.
67
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:08,114
Well, isn't that kind of like
rabbit season for Elmer Fudd?
68
00:04:08,572 --> 00:04:10,032
Used to be.
69
00:04:10,199 --> 00:04:11,826
Let me ask you question.
70
00:04:12,159 --> 00:04:14,870
How much do chicks talk
about men they've been with?
71
00:04:15,329 --> 00:04:16,789
Not as much as you'd think.
72
00:04:16,997 --> 00:04:19,417
- Really?
- Way more.
73
00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:23,254
- Why?
- Well, I ran into some women last night.
74
00:04:23,421 --> 00:04:24,755
Never met them before.
75
00:04:24,922 --> 00:04:27,717
But they seem to have already formed
a poor opinion of me.
76
00:04:28,259 --> 00:04:31,178
So you think somebody's out there
spreading nasty rumors?
77
00:04:31,345 --> 00:04:35,224
Worse. I think somebody's out there
spreading the truth.
78
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:38,144
Well, you have burned
a few bridges in this town.
79
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:42,523
Hey, I don't burn bridges.
I have casual sex with relative strangers.
80
00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:44,567
There's a difference.
81
00:04:45,484 --> 00:04:46,902
And I'm always honest.
82
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:51,782
I never lead a woman on.
Unless I'm, you know, totally bombed.
83
00:04:53,117 --> 00:04:57,371
Last night was probably the result
of one woman with an ax to grind.
84
00:04:57,538 --> 00:04:59,081
Probably.
85
00:04:59,248 --> 00:05:00,708
Yeah, that's it.
86
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:04,086
- I'm making myself crazy over nothing.
- Oh, I do that all the time.
87
00:05:04,253 --> 00:05:06,630
It's a great way to fill up
a slow weekend.
88
00:05:08,257 --> 00:05:10,593
Rose, that night we spent together...
89
00:05:10,759 --> 00:05:12,678
...did I tell you
you had beautiful eyes?
90
00:05:13,596 --> 00:05:17,641
Well, let's see. We had a couple
of drinks, you invited me back here.
91
00:05:17,808 --> 00:05:21,479
We were sitting out on the deck,
looking at the stars.
92
00:05:21,645 --> 00:05:23,481
And, yeah, you said:
93
00:05:23,647 --> 00:05:27,318
"By the way, you have
the most beautiful eyes in the world."
94
00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:31,113
I guess I do use that a lot.
95
00:05:32,072 --> 00:05:34,909
But, damn it, it's good.
96
00:05:35,743 --> 00:05:38,454
Are you sure it's not red?
Look again.
97
00:05:41,457 --> 00:05:45,920
It looks fine.
You have to go to school tomorrow.
98
00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:48,714
- Good night, Rose.
- Night, Charlie.
99
00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:51,133
And don't forget to use the...
100
00:05:52,426 --> 00:05:54,094
Never mind.
101
00:05:54,261 --> 00:05:55,763
Oh, Charlie, Charlie.
Come here.
102
00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:58,807
- Say hello to your Uncle Charlie.
- Hey, Uncle Charlie.
103
00:05:58,974 --> 00:06:01,393
- Hi, Jake.
- I can see you.
104
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,312
I can see you too.
105
00:06:04,104 --> 00:06:05,648
So...
106
00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:07,816
What's new?
107
00:06:07,983 --> 00:06:10,527
Not much.
What's new with you?
108
00:06:10,694 --> 00:06:12,446
Nothing. Oh, wait.
I Googled you...
109
00:06:12,613 --> 00:06:14,448
... and you'll never guess
what I found.
110
00:06:14,615 --> 00:06:16,659
Jake, are you in the bathtub?
111
00:06:16,825 --> 00:06:18,327
Yeah. Gotta go.
112
00:06:18,494 --> 00:06:20,913
No, no, no. Wait, Jake,
what are you talking about?
113
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,915
- What's he talking about?
- I don't know.
114
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,709
But if you Google me,
you'll find pages that mention...
115
00:06:25,876 --> 00:06:29,004
...my San Fernando Valley
Chiropractor of the Year award.
116
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:30,965
That's nice.
Get out of the way.
117
00:06:33,550 --> 00:06:36,553
Oh, careful. There's another
Alan J. Harper.
118
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:40,766
He's a school bus driver, and he also
makes these decorative pigs...
119
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:43,602
...out of bleach bottles
and pipe cleaners.
120
00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:46,188
I'm not Googling you.
I'm Googling me.
121
00:06:50,734 --> 00:06:53,153
"CharlieHarperSucks. com."
122
00:06:54,446 --> 00:06:56,740
That's gotta be a different
Charlie Harper.
123
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,415
Okay.
124
00:07:04,581 --> 00:07:06,375
I have a bad feeling.
125
00:07:12,589 --> 00:07:14,133
Oh, boy.
126
00:07:14,675 --> 00:07:16,885
Oh, man.
127
00:07:17,094 --> 00:07:19,430
Oh, crap.
128
00:07:20,431 --> 00:07:23,225
- Are you still reading that thing?
- How can I not?
129
00:07:23,392 --> 00:07:26,270
It's an entire website
devoted to trashing me.
130
00:07:26,437 --> 00:07:27,771
Listen to this:
131
00:07:27,938 --> 00:07:31,859
"Has anybody had sex with Charlie
where he actually took his socks off?"
132
00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:35,946
That's just mean.
I have bad circulation in my feet.
133
00:07:36,113 --> 00:07:38,240
They get cold.
134
00:07:38,657 --> 00:07:42,870
Check this out. Some girl posted audio
off her answering machine.
135
00:07:44,955 --> 00:07:48,292
Hey, it's me. I just wanted to tell you
I had a great time last night.
136
00:07:48,459 --> 00:07:51,336
- And I'm looking forward...
- Hello, Charlie?
137
00:07:51,503 --> 00:07:53,422
Yeah, hi.
138
00:07:53,589 --> 00:07:55,966
We weren 't together last night.
139
00:07:57,509 --> 00:07:59,011
Allison?
140
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:01,346
No, Beth.
141
00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:02,639
Thursday.
142
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:07,060
I had a great time with you Thursday,
and I thought that may...
143
00:08:07,644 --> 00:08:10,147
Oh, Alan, what am I gonna do?
144
00:08:10,314 --> 00:08:12,649
Every woman in the city
can see this stuff.
145
00:08:12,816 --> 00:08:14,526
Every woman in the world.
146
00:08:14,735 --> 00:08:16,487
Oh, God.
147
00:08:16,653 --> 00:08:19,072
Well, you know what they say.
148
00:08:19,239 --> 00:08:21,575
Any publicity is...
149
00:08:21,742 --> 00:08:23,827
Good publicity.
150
00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:26,497
No, no, no.
What I do requires secrecy.
151
00:08:26,663 --> 00:08:30,042
I need shadows and darkness.
I'm like a magician.
152
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:34,421
If everybody knows how I do it,
it ceases to be entertaining.
153
00:08:36,256 --> 00:08:38,050
"Frequently Asked Questions."
154
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:39,760
- Don't read that.
- Yeah, right.
155
00:08:39,927 --> 00:08:42,179
Okay. Question:
156
00:08:42,387 --> 00:08:46,099
"How long can you expect to date
Charlie after you have sex with him?"
157
00:08:46,266 --> 00:08:49,269
Answer: " It depends how late
you sleep the next morning."
158
00:08:50,812 --> 00:08:54,483
Oh, come on. This is funny.
You're just too close to it.
159
00:08:55,817 --> 00:08:58,111
This could be interesting. Question:
160
00:08:58,278 --> 00:09:01,198
"How does Charlie manage
to fake my orgasm?"
161
00:09:01,365 --> 00:09:03,659
All right, stop it. Move over.
162
00:09:03,825 --> 00:09:06,036
- What are you doing?
- I've gotta fight back.
163
00:09:06,203 --> 00:09:08,580
Anybody can post on the message board.
Why not me?
164
00:09:08,747 --> 00:09:11,250
- You're gonna post as yourself?
- Don't be ridiculous.
165
00:09:11,416 --> 00:09:13,210
Everybody uses a screen name.
166
00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:16,547
"CharlieFreak219."
167
00:09:16,713 --> 00:09:18,465
Too many?
168
00:09:18,715 --> 00:09:20,425
Okay.
169
00:09:20,968 --> 00:09:22,970
CharlieFreak180.
170
00:09:26,682 --> 00:09:28,976
"In my experience...
171
00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:33,397
...Charlie has always been...
172
00:09:33,563 --> 00:09:36,191
...a generous lover...
173
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:40,445
...compassionate, fun-Ioving
and sensitive."
174
00:09:40,612 --> 00:09:44,241
There. That ought to bring
a little balance to the conversation.
175
00:09:44,408 --> 00:09:47,202
You really don't get the Internet,
do you?
176
00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:52,040
Oh, look. I've got a response already.
177
00:09:52,207 --> 00:09:55,794
"Dear Freak: Are you just stupid...
178
00:09:55,961 --> 00:09:59,840
...or did your skull bounce off
his headboard too many times?"
179
00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:02,217
Okay, I've had enough of this.
180
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:05,929
- How do I delete this whole thing?
- You can't delete a website.
181
00:10:06,096 --> 00:10:08,098
Only the person who created it can.
182
00:10:08,265 --> 00:10:11,768
- Well, how do I find out who created it?
- Now, let's see. Come on.
183
00:10:11,935 --> 00:10:14,062
Okay.
184
00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:19,067
Okay, the domain is the property of a
company in the Cayman Islands called:
185
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,321
"Charlie Harper Sucks Limited."
186
00:10:24,156 --> 00:10:25,490
Well, that's no help.
187
00:10:25,991 --> 00:10:28,326
Hey, you can buy T-shirts
and coffee mugs.
188
00:10:29,536 --> 00:10:32,039
"Add to cart."
189
00:10:39,129 --> 00:10:41,840
No, Mom, it is not that simple.
190
00:10:42,007 --> 00:10:45,343
I am a single mother now.
Dating is very complicated.
191
00:10:46,595 --> 00:10:48,388
I understand.
192
00:10:48,555 --> 00:10:50,891
No, I can 't go back to Alan.
193
00:10:51,058 --> 00:10:52,726
Of course I still love him.
194
00:10:54,061 --> 00:10:55,687
Hey, Alan?
195
00:10:55,854 --> 00:10:58,315
How long you think this Internet fad
is gonna last?
196
00:10:58,815 --> 00:11:00,192
- Okay.
- What?
197
00:11:00,692 --> 00:11:03,653
Jake must've turned on his webcam
before he went to school.
198
00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:07,866
I can see and hear Judith
talking to her mother on the phone.
199
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:10,327
- Why can't she hear us?
- Our side's turned off.
200
00:11:10,494 --> 00:11:13,497
Are you kidding? Alan would never
take me back. How do I know?
201
00:11:13,663 --> 00:11:15,373
I just know.
202
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:17,250
Okay, fine. I'll ask him.
203
00:11:18,376 --> 00:11:20,504
- She wants me back.
- Yes, I will ask him.
204
00:11:20,670 --> 00:11:22,255
That's nice. It's all about you.
205
00:11:22,422 --> 00:11:23,840
Okay.
206
00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:26,134
Listen, Mom, I gotta get in the shower.
207
00:11:26,802 --> 00:11:28,595
I got it. Yes.
208
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:33,475
All right. I'll call you later.
209
00:11:36,061 --> 00:11:38,146
Oh, man.
210
00:11:39,356 --> 00:11:43,193
- Charlie, I need to talk about this.
- Me too.
211
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,487
If I don't do something
about that website...
212
00:11:45,654 --> 00:11:47,697
...I'm gonna have to chase
Amish broads.
213
00:11:48,031 --> 00:11:50,534
Judith wants to reconcile.
I've dreamed about this...
214
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,411
...but now that it's here,
I wonder if it's what I want.
215
00:11:53,578 --> 00:11:57,332
Whoever put up that site has to be
somebody I went out with at least once.
216
00:11:57,499 --> 00:12:00,418
It would be great for Jake
to have both parents in one house.
217
00:12:00,585 --> 00:12:04,422
And without alimony, I could stop
getting my hair cut at the barber college.
218
00:12:04,589 --> 00:12:07,801
I can eliminate married chicks,
ones that don't speak English...
219
00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:10,512
...and those to whom
I was never properly introduced.
220
00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:13,473
I'll make a list of the pros and cons
of going back to her.
221
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,226
You know what?
I'm gonna need to make a list.
222
00:12:16,643 --> 00:12:18,895
- I'm glad we talked.
- I'm always here for you.
223
00:12:19,062 --> 00:12:20,564
Me too.
224
00:12:36,803 --> 00:12:39,139
Hi, Tina. Long time, huh?
225
00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:42,475
Charlie Harper. What do you want?
226
00:12:43,894 --> 00:12:46,479
I know things didn't end well
between us, and...
227
00:12:46,646 --> 00:12:48,648
Really? I thought they ended perfectly.
228
00:12:48,815 --> 00:12:52,360
We spent a week in Canc�n,
having great sex every day.
229
00:12:52,527 --> 00:12:55,906
Flew back to L.A. You told me you'd
call me tomorrow, and it's been...
230
00:12:56,072 --> 00:12:58,408
What do you know?
A year and a half.
231
00:12:59,326 --> 00:13:01,369
- That long?
- Oh, yeah.
232
00:13:01,536 --> 00:13:04,623
I guess time flies when
you're the scum of the earth.
233
00:13:05,248 --> 00:13:06,708
Okay, I had that coming.
234
00:13:08,001 --> 00:13:12,464
I was thoughtless and insensitive, and I
know I can never really make up for it...
235
00:13:12,631 --> 00:13:19,220
...but I want you to know that I was
wrong, and I'm really, truly sorry.
236
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:22,849
- And...?
- No "and."
237
00:13:23,016 --> 00:13:26,686
I just wanted to apologize for
being a jerk. I wanna make amends.
238
00:13:27,395 --> 00:13:30,231
- You really mean that, don't you?
- I do. Absolutely.
239
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:36,363
- You wanna come in for a cup of coffee?
- Sure, I guess.
240
00:13:37,238 --> 00:13:39,949
So, seeing anybody?
241
00:13:46,081 --> 00:13:50,794
"Pro: No alimony. Con: No sex."
242
00:13:52,295 --> 00:13:56,341
"Pro: See Jake all the time.
Con: See Judith all the time."
243
00:13:56,508 --> 00:13:58,093
What are you doing? Give me that.
244
00:13:58,259 --> 00:14:00,804
- I'm sorry. It was just laying there.
- That's private.
245
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:02,514
Okay.
246
00:14:07,769 --> 00:14:10,438
I got another "pro" for you.
247
00:14:11,022 --> 00:14:13,775
- Yeah? What's that?
- lf you hook back up with Olive Oyl...
248
00:14:13,942 --> 00:14:16,653
...I won't have to scrub your toilet
anymore.
249
00:14:17,779 --> 00:14:22,534
Pro: No more Berta.
250
00:14:23,159 --> 00:14:25,662
You're not really thinking about
going back, are you?
251
00:14:25,829 --> 00:14:28,123
I don't know.
She wants to, but I'm torn.
252
00:14:28,289 --> 00:14:30,375
You're not torn. You're gutless.
253
00:14:32,419 --> 00:14:34,337
- Do you still love her?
- Of course I do.
254
00:14:34,504 --> 00:14:38,091
I mean, you know, we've been though
a lot of things together.
255
00:14:38,258 --> 00:14:42,554
- She's the mother of my son.
- Okay, listen to me, Zippy.
256
00:14:42,929 --> 00:14:44,931
If that's all it took
to make a marriage...
257
00:14:45,098 --> 00:14:47,225
...I'd have a husband
for each of my tattoos.
258
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,062
- You have tattoos?
- Yeah. You wanna see them?
259
00:14:53,064 --> 00:14:54,399
No.
260
00:14:54,816 --> 00:14:58,361
You're overthinking this. When your
dog dies, you don't make a list.
261
00:14:58,528 --> 00:15:00,321
You bury him, plant a shrub on top...
262
00:15:00,488 --> 00:15:03,825
...tell the kids he's running around
a farm, and move on.
263
00:15:05,577 --> 00:15:07,745
That's actually a very apt metaphor.
264
00:15:07,912 --> 00:15:11,291
My failed marriage is like a dead dog.
265
00:15:11,458 --> 00:15:15,628
But it serves as fertilizer for the shrub,
which represents my new life.
266
00:15:15,837 --> 00:15:19,799
So if I try to revitalize the marriage...
You know, digging up the dog.
267
00:15:19,966 --> 00:15:22,719
- then I'm killing the shrub,
which is me.
268
00:15:23,845 --> 00:15:25,513
Like you said, it's apt.
269
00:15:27,807 --> 00:15:30,310
Thank you, Berta.
You're a very insightful woman.
270
00:15:30,476 --> 00:15:33,688
I know. In a just world,
you'd be washing my shorts.
271
00:15:34,772 --> 00:15:37,483
Well, thanks, nevertheless.
272
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:40,737
Last chance to see those tattoos.
273
00:15:41,446 --> 00:15:42,864
No thanks.
274
00:15:43,031 --> 00:15:46,451
I can make the Road Runner
do jumping jacks.
275
00:15:50,121 --> 00:15:52,624
That was a fun apology.
276
00:15:53,374 --> 00:15:56,920
Yeah, I really thought
I was the one who deserved a spanking.
277
00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:00,381
- So you'll call me?
- Count on it.
278
00:16:01,466 --> 00:16:04,719
Hey, not that I really care, but,
do you happen to know...
279
00:16:04,928 --> 00:16:06,721
...who started that silly website?
280
00:16:06,888 --> 00:16:08,890
No. I just found it
by Googling your name.
281
00:16:09,057 --> 00:16:11,726
Most women Google
the guys they go out with, you know.
282
00:16:11,893 --> 00:16:13,811
Yeah, I've heard.
283
00:16:14,729 --> 00:16:18,358
- Well, I'll see you soon.
- You better.
284
00:16:20,526 --> 00:16:23,279
Okay. That went well.
285
00:16:26,449 --> 00:16:29,911
Let's see. Who's next?
286
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:22,588
Jake, why don't you go watch
some TV. I need to talk to your dad.
287
00:17:22,755 --> 00:17:26,259
Is this about the firecrackers?
What firecrackers?
288
00:17:26,426 --> 00:17:29,512
I'll go watch TV.
289
00:17:31,264 --> 00:17:32,724
Come in, sit down.
290
00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:35,309
Thanks. Listen...
291
00:17:36,060 --> 00:17:38,813
- Boy, this is tough.
- Okay, okay, maybe...
292
00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:41,441
...I can make it easier for you.
293
00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:43,151
Judith...
294
00:17:43,735 --> 00:17:45,903
...I will always love you...
295
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,699
...but there's no going back for me.
296
00:17:49,866 --> 00:17:53,286
I've learned a lot about myself
in the last year, and I'm growing.
297
00:17:53,453 --> 00:17:56,080
And... And I wanna keep on growing.
298
00:17:57,457 --> 00:18:01,043
I will always cherish
what we had...
299
00:18:01,878 --> 00:18:03,963
...but I have to fertilize my shrub.
300
00:18:06,382 --> 00:18:09,218
- What are you talking about?
- It's Berta's metaphor.
301
00:18:09,385 --> 00:18:12,972
The... The bottom line is:
I don't want to reconcile.
302
00:18:13,139 --> 00:18:14,891
Our marriage is over.
303
00:18:15,057 --> 00:18:17,435
Well, what makes you think
I wanna reconcile?
304
00:18:18,269 --> 00:18:20,313
What did you wanna talk to me about?
305
00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:24,025
My mom wanted me to ask
if Jake could spend a couple of weeks...
306
00:18:24,192 --> 00:18:26,027
...with them this summer.
- Oh, really?
307
00:18:26,194 --> 00:18:28,863
- That's what she wanted you to ask me?
- Yes.
308
00:18:29,071 --> 00:18:31,574
You didn't tell her you loved me,
you missed me?
309
00:18:31,741 --> 00:18:34,285
Well, I always tell her that
to shut her up.
310
00:18:35,661 --> 00:18:38,706
And how the hell do you know
what I talk to my mother about?
311
00:18:41,626 --> 00:18:44,629
Hey, look, Charlie's here.
312
00:18:51,427 --> 00:18:54,513
- Answer my question, Alan.
- Hold on a second, Judith.
313
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,643
- Charlie, what's wrong?
- I've been making amends.
314
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:01,437
Five amends in one afternoon.
315
00:19:01,604 --> 00:19:05,983
Well, technically, four.
I had to fake the last one.
316
00:19:07,944 --> 00:19:10,529
- Charlie, Alan and I are talking.
- Don't worry.
317
00:19:10,696 --> 00:19:13,449
I'll be out of your way as soon
as I check on something.
318
00:19:13,616 --> 00:19:15,409
They all denied
running the website...
319
00:19:15,576 --> 00:19:18,829
...but at least I should have
some good reviews now.
320
00:19:19,956 --> 00:19:21,290
Listen to this:
321
00:19:21,457 --> 00:19:25,044
"Charlie came over and apologized today,
and, oh, what an apology it was.
322
00:19:25,211 --> 00:19:27,713
I take back everything nasty
I ever said about him."
323
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,715
Not bad, huh?
324
00:19:30,675 --> 00:19:31,884
Here's another one:
325
00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:37,181
"He apologized to you today?
326
00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:40,267
He apologized to me too."
327
00:19:40,434 --> 00:19:43,813
Okay, I have a bad feeling again.
328
00:19:43,980 --> 00:19:46,190
Alan, how do you know what
I said to my mother?
329
00:19:48,526 --> 00:19:52,071
I didn't actually know.
I surmised.
330
00:19:52,238 --> 00:19:53,906
I should go talk to Charlie.
331
00:19:54,073 --> 00:19:57,326
Hey, Dad, check it out.
I can see my room on your computer.
332
00:19:59,954 --> 00:20:03,749
Okay, now I've got a bad feeling.
333
00:20:11,953 --> 00:20:14,247
My heart was in the right place, Rose.
334
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,125
- I know.
- All I wanted to do was apologize.
335
00:20:17,292 --> 00:20:19,961
- I had no ulterior motives.
- I believe you.
336
00:20:20,128 --> 00:20:21,796
Thank you.
337
00:20:23,798 --> 00:20:25,133
Did I ever apologize to you?
338
00:20:26,134 --> 00:20:30,388
You mean, for our one-night stand
that kind of, sort of broke my heart?
339
00:20:32,057 --> 00:20:33,391
Yeah, for that.
340
00:20:34,768 --> 00:20:36,269
No, not really.
341
00:20:37,479 --> 00:20:40,815
Okay, well, I am truly sorry.
342
00:20:40,982 --> 00:20:43,526
You're a wonderful person,
and you deserved better.
343
00:20:44,235 --> 00:20:46,112
Thank you, Charlie.
344
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:49,074
- That's sweet.
- I mean it.
345
00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:57,707
- What's that?
- Oh, this?
346
00:20:57,874 --> 00:21:01,962
It's one of those new
web browser, e-mail gadgets.
347
00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:04,172
Cool.
348
00:21:33,576 --> 00:21:35,662
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
349
00:21:35,829 --> 00:21:37,914
[ENGLISH]
27525
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof