Original subtitles

Love, love is strange.

A lot of people take it for

a game.

Once you get...

with money in the hand.

So you call this punk music? Oh, my God.

You're a punk.

Huh? I'm not a punk. Yeah, you're a fucking punk. No, I'm not a fucking

mean,

I don't know what I am, but...

So,

where are you going?

Um, to the country with Malcolm.

A cabin, I guess. Like his cabin.

A city subway rat like you at a cabin in the woods?

Yeah, it'll be my first time up there.

Well, fuck.

It's been a while, huh?

Yeah, almost a year.

Wow, that's got to be like an unofficial record for you.

No, shut up.

Uh -oh, better break up. No, no, uh -oh.

What are you thinking?

Nothing.

So what are you wearing?

What does a person wear to a cabin? It's like buffalo plaid.

He got me a cardigan.

Is it beige?

It is. It is beige.

I don't even think I've ever heard you say beige before.

I didn't even think you knew the bitch.

I didn't even know the bitch.

So does he want kids?

I don't... We haven't talked about that.

Don't you think...

You should.

Uh, well, you know, I've never pictured myself as a mother.

So, are you happy?

Yeah.

And he's still not hiding a wife and kids in the basement?

No. No secret family. Just him and just the two of us.

Fuck it is.

It's trippy as shit talking to you like that.

Call me sometime, okay?

Make yourself at home.

Oh!

First things first.

Your masterpiece.

Mm -hmm.

Knock yourself out.

Come on.

There we go.

Somebody left you a cake.

Uh, yeah, a caretaker.

It's a bit of a tradition.

What a way of making up for being so bad at taking care of the place.

Hey, come take a look.

The crown jewel of my collection.

So, what do you think?

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. That's it?

It's good.

It's good. It's good. It's great. I love it.

You're good.

Like, really, really good. You know that? Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. That's right.

I don't want to play in your yard.

I don't like you anymore.

Who lives there?

It's my cousin Darren.

Not my family's proudest contribution to civilization, but he won't bother us.

Good old weird and cranky recluse, Cousin Darren.

Actually, he just goes by regular asshole, Cousin Darren.

But, uh, I didn't see his car, so... Hmm.

I'm gonna start getting things ready for dinner, okay?

Sounds good.

good.

Thank you.

You say something?

Nothing.

um um

I'm not a punk.

Not a punk.

I don't know what I am, but... I thought you'd be happy to see me painting up.

You know how I feel about it.

Decorative. That's fine.

No, no, but you made that, you know?

If I could do what you do, I don't think I could stop myself. I'd just be doing

it all the time, again and again and again and again and again.

You sound like that old joke.

Was it? If men had tits, they'd never stop playing with them.

Yeah. Yeah, well, if men had breasts, Rome definitely would not have been

built in a day.

Oh.

Are you expecting someone?

No.

Caretaker? No.

No, no.

Very insistent.

I can see you.

I'm going to let him in.

OK. Malcolm.

Hey, hey, hey.

What's going on?

Cousin Darren, Liz.

Liz, cousin Darren.

Hi. Yup.

And Minka.

Minka the model.

Minka. Oh, cool.

Keep trying.

Yeah, yeah.

But not a lick of English, this one.

No speaky.

See?

It's Eastern European.

One of the Ania ones.

Not Transylvania, but almost Transylvania. Right, babe?

Well, no.

Who cares?

She loves, loves, loves her Molly, though, doesn't she, babe?

Yeah.

I wish you told me that you'd be stopping by. I'd have made more.

Oh, no problem. We already had ours.

Couldn't wait.

Plus, we wouldn't want to intrude on your special night of nights.

Yeah.

Malcolm's a romantic one.

Always has been.

The slow one.

Cousin, a word in the other room?

Excuse me a minute.

Tastes like shit.

Okay, time to go.

Whoopsie daisies.

Let the lovebirds have their privacy.

She's a keeper, cousin.

Don't wait too long and let this one get away.

Huh?

Whoopsie.

I don't care anymore.

They had to scoop out her brains to fill out her tits.

I can only apologize for my cousin. You know, he was charming once, but now he's

just a superficial cowardly asshole.

But not you, right? You don't go for the 10 out of 10s or whatever the fuck.

The little drawstring in their back, the two or three prerecorded sentences.

Oh, where we go? We go to clubbing now?

Come on. Hey, my cousin, he's just an empty box, you know, with a

stupid fucking bowl on it.

And that box is going to stay empty unless he's willing to put a... But me?

The box that is me has something in it.

It's filled to the rim.

What are you talking about?

That's why I'm in love with you, Lace.

And even more concerning is I

like you.

Really, really.

It's weird that you paid me for my painting.

It was for sale. I had a price tag next to it and no little red dot to tell me

that somebody got into it first.

And they spoke to me, you know, and said, bring me home.

So I listened, same as I did when I met you.

We exchanged money after we exchanged a

bit.

Everything else.

Yeah. It's just moneyless, you know. If it is so upsetting to you, you know, you

can give it to charity.

No, no, no.

I want to keep the money.

I want to keep all the west birds for me so I can throw it back

in your face someday.

I think I'm going to lick that.

Yeah, I bet you would.

Wait.

Just wait.

The cake.

The cake.

The cake?

Just... Just, please, just sit. Two seconds.

Okay.

The caretaker, she can't keep mice out of the walls, but she

makes a really great cake.

I don't like chocolate.

What? Since when?

Since forever.

I was a kid since the entire time we've been together.

Oh, well, shit, I'm... I'm an asshole.

I thought all women liked chocolate.

Classic Westbridge boy.

I guess I got more of my cousin in me than I thought.

It's really good, though.

Tastes like shit.

Thank you.

for Uber.

There you are.

Sorry.

Morning.

Thank you.

You feeling okay?

Mm -hmm.

Oh, yeah.

I got a patient coming out of a medically induced

coma today, and I'm just waiting for somebody to tell me she's

all clear.

Mrs. Portnoy.

Yeah.

A darling old gal, and I'm... I'm pulling for her.

What are you drawing?

Nothing.

Malcolm?

Malcolm?

Fuck!

Fuck! Bad, bad, bad news, son.

What happened?

Mrs. Portnoy, she's, uh... She's now waking up. Yeah.

Her kid's there at the hospital. Daughter's inconsolable.

Oh, shit.

Yeah. So what?

So I gotta go deal with it.

Oh.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

But duty called.

You know, and if everything...

goes the way these things normally go.

How do these things normally go?

She'll wake up, you know.

I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about you.

It's fine.

I think I'll just maybe settle in here.

Okay.

Okay.

The fridge is stocked. There's wine in the kitchen.

And there's good wine in the basement.

If you feel like celebrating.

When will you be back?

Six.

Six.

Or traffic.

Seven at the latest.

I'm fine.

I can handle myself.

You go. Go fulfill your oath. I'll just be here looking through your drawers.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm spying on the rich neighbors.

And you said call, so... You at your cabin?

That's not my cabin.

Not yet.

So, what is it, like some fortress?

No, hardly.

Privacy's, like, not really a thing.

The bathroom's the only room with a door that locks, and it's all windows with

zero blinds.

Horrifying. Yeah.

Also, I feel like I took mushrooms.

Well, is that because you took mushrooms?

And the man of the house, what's he up to?

Hello?

Liz? No, I'm here.

Malcolm went into the city, so I'm just kind of like snooping, not snooping.

Wait, he left you alone there?

Yeah.

But it's nice, actually.

Oh, Liz. He didn't want to. He had to work.

Yeah, he had to work his wife's pussy.

What the fuck, Mags? Listen, I'm just telling it to you straight.

You know what you are.

And what am I? I don't want to say it. Yeah, so don't.

You're a side piece, Liz.

Cool.

Thanks. Glad I can count on you.

Do you want me to come get you?

You don't have a car.

This isn't who you're supposed to be.

woman in a house kept that fuck fuck you fucking hold on a minute no it's fine

bye

How did you get inside?

I am inside now.

So am I.

Yeah.

What's going on? You know what you are.

Is Darren with you?

Where did you come from?

Where did you come from?

I can see you.

Be a good little Westbridge boy and open the door.

What's done is done, man. I brought our traditional libations.

He's not here.

Uh... What was it

again? Was it Linda?

No, Liz, actually.

Where's Malcolm?

Uh, he had to go back to the city to see a patient. He'll be back any second.

He left you here alone on your big weekend?

That's not good.

Is Minka with you?

Mind opening the door?

Yeah, uh, I, uh, I, uh, he...

Maybe you should come back later. You caught me in the middle of a nap, and

I'm... How about you let me into my own family's home?

Thank you. I'll be quick.

Where did he say he was going?

Uh, to the hospital to see a patient.

Oh.

And you're just, uh, hanging out?

Uh, yeah.

You like it out here? You feeling good, or?

Yeah, it's good.

Uh -huh.

So, you had a nice dinner?

What did you think of the caretaker's cake?

Um, it was fine.

Yeah?

And, uh,

sleepy? You said you were having a nap?

I love naps.

But you know what'll keep this party going?

What?

Guts!

I'm really not in the mood.

Malcolm's right.

You know?

There's something special about you.

You're not like all the other girls.

Yep, he does say that.

One drink?

Oh.

Come on.

Sure.

What the hell?

You know where the glasses are?

Mm -hmm.

Where are you going?

The bathroom.

Okay.

That's alright.

You don't need to call me back.

This is the voicemail box of Dr.

Malcolm Weisbridge.

Um, Malcolm, your cousin was here. He seemed surprised that I would...

Can you just be here already?

Malcolm?

Hey.

Shit, I'm sorry.

Any chance you're still willing to come get me?

The fuck?

I just need to get the fuck out of here.

There's something... I don't know.

There's... There's something wrong. Can you get up here?

Oh, um, yeah, sure. I guess. Of course.

I hate the fucking country.

Oh, you're cutting out?

Huh? What?

Are you going to come get me?

What the fuck are you talking about?

Just... Tell me you're coming to get me. Tell me that you're right now figuring

out a car.

Maggie?

I called you a bunch of times.

There were people here.

I'm leaving.

What do you mean you're leaving? Hey, what's going on? Who the fuck was that?

A woman who just shows up?

A woman? What woman?

An old lady with a bag on her head?

Is that the caretaker?

I don't understand.

She put a bag?

It was fucking creepy and fucked up. She had a fucking plastic bag on her face.

Yeah, that sounds awful.

I'm sorry, honey, but can we please just calm down?

No, no, no, no, no. Your cousin was here, too. He just dropped in. What?

Yeah. Yeah, he just... He seemed pretty fucking surprised that I was here, too.

What the fuck, Malcolm?

Is he still here?

Dad! No, I don't know.

He just showed up and then he left.

Without saying anything. He left his watch in the fucking sink. Don't ask me.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Please, please, please.

No, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I don't feel well.

I... This place isn't... This place isn't right for me.

Okay, okay.

Just... I just... Okay?

Just a half hour. I just need a half hour. I just need a... I gotta do a few

things. Just... What can I do? Tell me what you want me to do.

Go search the house.

Search the house, okay.

Make sure that there are...

All gone.

OK, OK, I'll make sure.

Sure, all right.

OK, take your coat off, please, honey.

you sneaky bitches.

Anybody here?

Boo!

Oh my god.

What are you holding?

I'm sorry I left you alone.

Yeah, you are.

You're a dick.

Yes, I am.

Yep.

Shall we have a glass?

A glass?

Yeah.

I love watching you smile.

You're a liar.

What?

What are you talking about?

You're a fucking liar.

What? Mm -hmm.

You said you'd be back way later.

Oh.

Well, what can I say? There was no traffic on the bridge.

How's Mrs. Portnoy?

Who's Mrs. Portnoy?

Oh, how terribly cold the heart of a doctor can

be.

How quickly I can set work aside when I'm looking at the woman.

That I love.

She died.

Oh, no.

She died peacefully.

Her children were by her side.

And I think that is the very most that any of us

can ask for.

You want more?

Sure.

Hey, hey, where are you going? Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and

I'll get it. Bathroom.

Okay. Well, I can't help you there.

Stupid, stupid fucking idiot.

You feeling okay?

Hey, just a second.

Please tell me you're not pregnant.

Uh, no. I'm all good.

Just peeing.

Why are you coming out of there so we can talk about this?

Talk about what?

It's not what you think.

So you're not married?

You weren't just in the city with your wife?

I wasn't in the city with my wife. I'm not married.

Look, Liz, I fucked up and you caught me.

Come on, just open the door.

I just wanted to talk to you about it.

It doesn't really lock.

It's just it's more hospitable to let it feel like it does.

What is that?

Can I see that?

Who is this?

Who the fuck is this?

It's a long time ago.

That's you, isn't it? How the fuck is this you?

I want to leave now.

All right.

I understand, but I can't let you do that.

You can't let me do that?

Who the fuck are you?

I'm Malcolm Westbridge.

I'm your friend. I'm your lover. I'm the same man that you've known for a year.

I'm a doctor. I'm a decent guy. I save lives when I can. When I can, I can't.

But there's a bunch of other stuff, too.

I don't want to go.

I understand.

It's just... Can we... Just

sit in the living room, you know. Just talk for a minute. I'm not fucking

sitting down.

It's a pretty good offer, considering.

Would it matter if I said that I never wanted you to suffer?

Because I love you.

I do.

And what is about to happen is not in vain.

It's the most beautiful act of love one could ever commit.

You're giving me life.

Malcolm, whatever you think you need to say to me, just go back to your family

and let me go.

One nibble of the cake. One nibble of the cake and the lion turns lamb limp

languid.

I'm supposed to knock you out.

Well, you have to go ahead and eat the whole thing.

I should have known you'd be different.

They present themselves to you as women, do they?

Because that they are not.

In truth, I don't know what they are.

And I've known them a long time, a long time.

Malcolm.

Yes, Liz.

Fuck are you talking about?

Darren and I, we were kids when we found their mother.

And that creek you saw, that was more than 200 years ago.

Somehow, you look exactly like her.

She was a beautiful woman, their mother.

But she was a trespasser on my father's land.

We'd seen her many times before, dancing naked in the river by the light of the

moon.

And that wasn't allowed.

in with the swine, not caring about her or whatever bastard she was carrying.

When he returned, we saw she'd given birth.

But to what?

Let me go.

Just let me leave.

So the fairy tale goes.

The lowly fisherman draws in his line and finds ensnared on its hook a fish.

the lowly fisherman the fish speaks, a voice escaping its white and throbbing

throat.

Pray you kind sir, throw me back into my ocean, the dying fish says.

And I will grant you three wishes.

Why doesn't the fish wish itself off the hook?

Why doesn't it grant itself its own freedom?

Perhaps because it knows it is nothing more than a fish.

The creatures that live in this house in these woods, they're the fish on

the hook.

incapable of imagining their own freedoms.

While we, the perfect little Westbridge boys, we see our wishes granted for all

time.

We are given life eternal while they cringe and cower and feed in the

shadows of our houses.

Unseen and unloved and standing in their own piss.

And when they get hungry,

When the wailing of their hunger pangs grows too loud for the neighbors,

I feed them.

You love me.

You said that.

Yes, and that is why I don't say the words to listen when it happens.

Malcolm, let's go back.

I want to go back to before.

To when we didn't know each other.

To then.

Can we do that?

Can we just do that?

We didn't know.

We didn't know any of this.

You're gonna die, Liz.

Oh, my God.

So I can... live a little longer.

It's gonna happen in this house.

The wooden box for your coffin.

I wish it weren't so.

Oh, I really do.

But it is.

Be thankful I'm not my neighbors up the way on Teacup Road.

Standing next to them, Darren and I were perfect little gentlemen.

They sealed the place.

Don't ask me how, it's their magic.

Yes!

I don't wanna play in your yard.

I don't...

you can holler down

Hi, Julia.

Hey, Leslie.

Francis.

Louise.

Meet Liz.

Where are you?

Your children.

And all the women who came.

UGH!

How? Morning.

This?

Oh, thank God.

Cut me down from here.

Please.

What did they do to you?

They asked me to stay.

This is my house.

I'm going to stay here.

You live here because I live here.

Malcolm.

Oh.

Malcolm, listen.

This fork is going into your face one way or another.

Might as well taste good.

You didn't.

I'm fine.

Now here comes the airplane.

That's a good little Westbridge boy.

I bet you say that to all the girls.

Let tears let me come.

on my own that's the way I used to be but since I met you

baby love