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SICILY EXPRESS
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That's enough, stop!
Stop it, stop it! Cut it out.
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You're not sanding it, you know.
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If we don't clean it,
they'll trash talk us and say
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"this" and "that" of the South.
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That's enough,
let's put it back over there.
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Now!
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Okay, there.
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Push. Push.
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-Okay.
-Perfect.
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One last spritz.
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Enough with the smelly air freshener!
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This smelly air freshener,
as you call it, sets the mood.
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Look, it's lavender and white musk.
Okay? It's expensive stuff.
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-Great, how classy.
-Of course, it's classy.
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With this stool, we will win over
every single person traveling up north.
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Every single person?
We agreed on a few people only.
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Every single chosen person!
Does that sound better?
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-Yes, it does.
-Thanks, guys, I feel so much better.
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-I'm ready to head back to work.
-That's great, Andrea! Have a nice trip.
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-Hey, hold on.
-Yes?
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-It's five euros.
-Five euros? For a lunch break?
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I'm sure you enjoy entering
a perfectly clean dumpster, right?
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It smells very good in there, to me.
Lavender and white musk.
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It's expensive stuff.
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I've got to say,
you Sicilians are wonderful people.
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Thank you.
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Five euros...
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-Pay less and smile more, yeah?
-Yeah.
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Perfect, thank you.
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This stool is great! Good job!
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Oh, and, Andrea, when you get to Milan,
remember to be quiet walking downstairs.
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-Okay?
-Yup.
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-Okay.
-Bye.
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-I swear that guy is a real...
-Oh, by the way!
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Maybe you can offer subscriptions? Eh?
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He's a real Milanese entrepreneur!
Of course, subscriptions!
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The great Milanese! What a thinker.
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The stool must be steady and safe
for every single person going up.
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-Hey! Oh.
-They're here! Hurry, go to your position.
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-Salvo, only a few chosen people.
-Yes, all right!
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Not every single person!
And keep your phone line open.
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Don't worry, okay. See you.
Hey, you made it!
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Salvo! This is Peppino.
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He's a very trustworthy person.
46
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He often goes back and forth, like me.
47
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-Can we really trust him?
-One hundred percent.
48
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All right. Peppino, welcome aboard!
49
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But remember... Okay?
50
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Yes, by all means.
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Follow me, please!
Here is our beautiful magic dumpster!
52
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Ah, my little baby! Muah!
53
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Ah!
54
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You're saying that if I go in here...
I'll come out there?
55
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I didn't believe it either,
but it really works!
56
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-It does!
-How's it even possible?
57
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How is it even possible?
Professors, professors!
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You teach our young ones the value
of culture, and sacrifice, and commitment,
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and honesty!
60
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You should also teach them
the value of pure luck!
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Who got lucky in the end? I did! Oh!
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But why can't it speak to me, why? Muah!
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-Can I enter?
-Go ahead!
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Professor, isn't the value of things
another lesson you teach? Huh?
65
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Yes, thanks!
My life is better than ever now!
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I agree, I agree!
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-Thanks!
-See you!
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And... let's not forget his suitcase!
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-Milan!
-Salvo gave us permission.
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This is Peppino.
71
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,157
Peppino? But I told Salvo
not to tell every...
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Whatever! Don't worry.
Peppino, it's not your fault.
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Grab your suitcase and leave,
but please, be quiet!
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Because our landlady lives downstairs.
Shh! Keep it down!
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Eh...
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Shh! All right, let's go.
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Shh! Don't roll it! Don't roll it!
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Okay, go, Ferdinando! Go, Ferdinando!
And please, be quiet walking downstairs!
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-Shh! It's because of the landlady!
-Yeah.
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-Now, go, go, go!
-Thank you. Thanks.
81
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Peppino, Peppino, go!
82
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:15,797
And who are you?
83
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Uh, we're construction workers.
We work here, in Milan.
84
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-It's Salvo who said we could use it.
-What, Salvo also gave you permission too?
85
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Yeah, we're Peppino's friends, okay.
86
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I came here just to visit my mother.
She's sick in a hospital, here in Milan.
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I'm friends with these two.
They're friends with Peppino.
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Excuse me for a minute.
I need to call someone very quickly.
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Nothing to do with you, I just need to.
90
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Sorry, one moment. I need to answer this.
91
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-Hey, Val! I'm listening.
-We had agreed on a few people only!
92
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But more people equals more money!
Come on, relax.
93
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This isn't relaxing at all, Salvo!
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Peppino knows Ferdinando
and these people know Peppino.
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00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,037
Uh, to be honest with you...
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this Peppino, I don't know him.
I know these guys.
97
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And we know Peppino.
98
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Yeah, okay, but I don't know any of you.
99
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Don't worry! They know Peppino!
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Yeah, but I don't, okay?
I only know Ferdinando.
101
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,477
What's wrong?
Why are you acting like this? Come on!
102
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Salvo, we said it was
for a few people only!
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Val, I can't hear you!
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I... I'm sorry, what's the...
I'm sorry, what?
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I... can't... hear... you.
Hello? Hello? You there?
106
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Uh, this signal is really bad out here!
107
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Hello? I'm going through a tunnel!
I'm in a tunnel right now! Hello?
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Can't hear you! I am,
uh... yeah, screw you.
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Ah.
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If you keep on letting everyone in,
this will end badly.
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Would you rather work as a waiter again?
112
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,264
Or maybe you'd prefer working
with your father-in-law, instead?
113
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Hm? Mm.
114
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I'll hold on to these.
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Thank you for choosing us.
Thank you for choosing us!
116
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,677
And where are you going with that?
117
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Uh, to fill it up in Milan.
118
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Because the water shortage here is a pain!
We can't even wash ourselves!
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-That's true.
-Yeah!
120
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One second, please.
121
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Why, hello! Oh, my dear friend,
I've got an idea!
122
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This is holy water from Milan's cathedral!
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Next please!
124
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-Have a safe trip now!
-Thank you.
125
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Ah! A subscriber!
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This way! All subscribers
have premium access on board!
127
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Thank you for choosing us.
Subscribers, this way please. Thank you!
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Have a safe trip!
129
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In Milan, you can expect
a temperature around 12 degrees
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and perfectly clear skies.
131
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-Enjoy!
-It's cold up there.
132
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Sicily's water crisis
has gone down the drain!
133
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We've got your backs!
134
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,517
Don't worry, Maria Teresa!
135
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We'll have customers very soon.
We barely just opened.
136
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Give them some time,
it's all gonna work out.
137
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No, it's not that, it's...
138
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It's about Valentino. He's acting strange.
139
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,757
I feel like
he's keeping something from me.
140
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,877
I don't know.
Usually we tell each other everything.
141
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,437
I know, but...
142
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Maybe it's all those trips,
going back and forth.
143
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,597
It's stressful, right?
144
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,880
Yeah, of course, but that's not it.
It's something recent.
145
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,557
-Something's off, he's not being honest.
-What do you mean?
146
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I can't stop thinking about
our phone call the other day
147
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,957
when we were at Guglielmo's
with that Santa Claus.
148
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:32,517
Yeah, that silly phone prank they did?
When they were acting jealous?
149
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,357
Honey, come on,
they were just playing a joke on us.
150
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,197
Well, Valentino wasn't joking around,
I know him.
151
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,317
He really was jealous,
and he's never been like that.
152
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Well, tell him to stop.
153
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,517
-Jealousy ruins everything.
-Hm.
154
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There's one thing that drives me crazy,
it's someone who's jealous.
155
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Thank God Salvo isn't like that.
156
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:50,637
Actually, you know,
157
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:54,237
if Salvo was to know
that Valentino is acting jealous,
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he'd make him cut it out right away.
159
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He never was a jealous person though.
And now, all of a sudden, he is?
160
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:06,160
You know what they say,
a thief believes everybody steals.
161
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,997
Are you saying Valentino has a lover?
162
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,517
How else would you explain
163
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that he's been wearing
a whole lot of perfume lately?
164
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,277
You're right.
165
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,237
Salvo too! He also had perfume on.
166
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That's why he won't work with my father.
Even though he should.
167
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They've got lovers!
168
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How disgraceful!
169
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PLEASE KEEP QUIET WALKING DOWNSTAIRS
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Enough!
171
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,277
Seriously, Salvo?
172
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,877
It's not just to clean the dumpster!
It's for you too.
173
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,997
I told you already,
they're getting suspicious.
174
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,997
-Yes, but this is really toxic stuff!
-Don't exaggerate.
175
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,757
Anyway, I'd say everything's perfect.
Look at all this cash.
176
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,077
-Perfect, it's all perfect.
-I'll hold on to this, okay?
177
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,117
-You'll hold it?
-Yes.
178
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,077
Who's going around
selling water to everyone?
179
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,597
If it were up to me,
I'd sell Milan's whole water system, okay?
180
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,397
The water system.
The whole water system is...
181
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,717
What in the world is this sign?
182
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,357
It's so people know to keep quiet,
183
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,157
because the landlady lives downstairs
and she hears everything!
184
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,557
Yes, that's understandable,
but your grammar isn't correct.
185
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,637
"Please keep quiet walking downstairs."
186
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,317
"Walking downstairs"?
Where did you learn your English?
187
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,997
-How do you say it then?
-Going downstairs!
188
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,317
You don't walk down the stairs,
you go down the stairs, no?
189
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,557
-That's nonsense!
-You walk on the ground, okay?
190
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,557
-You walk downstairs. You take steps down.
-But you don't say it like that!
191
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,157
Like this dumpster,
you roll it because it has wheels.
192
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,077
It's logical.
193
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,517
Because it's on the ground,
but if it were on stairs...
194
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,237
Forget it, your grammar is probably
your weak spot, all right? So...
195
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,557
Anyway, I've decided to go and tell
Maria Teresa all about the dumpster.
196
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,597
Are you sure? Really sure?
197
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,197
-Of course.
-And what if she gets upset?
198
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,517
Why would she get upset with me?
199
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,677
Because you're going to tell her
very upsetting things.
200
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,397
First, that you got fired, right?
201
00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,517
Second, that your job
is now to sell trips in a dumpster.
202
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,157
By the time you set foot in Sicily,
you'll be working for your father-in-law.
203
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,277
And that's fine by me,
that's what I want to do.
204
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,600
Why are you so stubborn?
Please, wait a bit!
205
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,077
-Who is it?
-I don't know. Landlady?
206
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,517
Well, maybe.
207
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,920
I'll check.
You be ready to hide everything.
208
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,560
Shit.
209
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,440
Hey, it's Andrea!
210
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:31,077
Andrea, going to the beach
twice a day isn't healthy.
211
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,997
No, this time it's about Giacalone.
Your help is necessary.
212
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,917
No, I won't help anymore.
I have more important things to do,
213
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,517
like admitting to Maria Teresa
all about the dumpster
214
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,597
and everything else.
215
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,477
-Good luck!
-Are you serious?
216
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:44,797
Shame on you, Valentino.
217
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,660
A nice Sicilian man wants our help
and you dare to say no?
218
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,477
Never in Sicily's history
has there been such disgrace!
219
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,037
If we Sicilians hadn't always
been there for each other,
220
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,677
can you imagine
what we would be like today?
221
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,717
Surely, like most Europeans, selfish!
222
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,437
Shame on you!
223
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,720
-Disgraceful.
-Mm.
224
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,717
You're right. Sorry, guys.
225
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,560
It was a moment of weakness.
226
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,680
If Sicily needs me, I'll always be there.
227
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,000
Now, let's go find Giacalone.
228
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:17,680
-Hi, guys!
-Hi.
229
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,080
Hey, you're back!
230
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,637
Ah! And what are you doing here?
231
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,354
-We came to say hi to our colleagues.
-Ex-colleagues.
232
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,640
Ex!
233
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,200
Is that clear to you?
234
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,277
-How is he?
-There you are.
235
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:39,877
Thank you for coming so quickly.
236
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,560
I'm afraid Giacalone
isn't getting any better.
237
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,640
It's not good, we gotta hurry.
238
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,197
-Giacalone?
-Mr. Giacalone?
239
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,397
It's us! Guess who else says hello?
Your dear Giulio.
240
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,877
I've got freshly baked cannoli,
straight from Sicily.
241
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,280
And I have medication,
freshly bottled and sealed in Sicily.
242
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,157
-Guitar time.
-Guitar time.
243
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,237
-Guitar time.
-Guitar time.
244
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,197
-Guitar time.
-Give it.
245
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,621
-There isn't much time left.
-Give it, give it.
246
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,160
And one, and one, two, three, four.
247
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,317
Nothing. There's nothing left to do.
248
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,557
The patient isn't responding
to his usual stimuli.
249
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,117
His clinical condition is compromised.
250
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,877
-Yeah, but we followed his protocol.
-This is it, are you sure?
251
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:42,397
His protocol was very clear.
Cannoli, medication, Sicilian songs.
252
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,077
Sicilian songs were our last hope.
If they don't work, his fate is sealed!
253
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:46,997
His fate is sealed.
254
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,470
-Oh no, his fate is sealed.
-What terrible news.
255
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,480
Unless we try...
256
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,557
Tell me you're thinking what I'm thinking?
257
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,760
Yes! It might work!
258
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,880
Giacalone, it's time to go back to Sicily!
259
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,440
-Okay, let's go!
-All right.
260
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:21,237
But won't the trip
be too long for Giacalone?
261
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,360
They'll find a shorter way to get there.
262
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,440
Hm.
263
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,277
Hm...
264
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,157
What do we do? What do we do?
265
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,480
-Wait.
-He's gonna see us!
266
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,840
Where are you going? Come back!
267
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,237
-Now! Now!
-But he's right there, it's too risky!
268
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,917
-What do I do? What do I do?
-He's facing the other way. Come on!
269
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,560
Are you serious?
270
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,437
No, no, no!
271
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,477
I will not get into a dumpster from Milan!
272
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,237
Actually, this is a dumpster from Sicily.
273
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,757
They outsourced its production.
274
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,117
They're made in Sicily
because it costs less.
275
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,997
Can't you tell? Look how nice it is.
276
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:20,637
And it smells good too.
I can smell a hint of jasmine, right?
277
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,197
Jasmine, really?
278
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,197
LAVENDER AND WHITE MUSK
279
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,477
Great guess!
It's jasmine straight from Sicily.
280
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:26,997
I knew it! I knew it was jasmine.
281
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,077
-So recognizable.
-Good.
282
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,837
-Jasmine.
-Now, can we get in, Giacalone?
283
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,957
-Please, you go first, Mr. Giacalone.
-Okay, let's go.
284
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,437
Sicilian trains aren't that bad after all,
compared to this.
285
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,037
Okay, get in, Giacalone.
286
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,397
"Please be quiet walking downstairs."
287
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,917
-What?! Who wrote that sign?
-I wrote it.
288
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:41,837
It's not correct.
289
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,037
-Where did you learn to speak English?
-Yeah, but...
290
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,677
-Walking downstairs?
-That's what I said!
291
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,397
My goodness, it's "going downstairs."
292
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,677
-"Walking downstairs" is fine too.
-Right?
293
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,197
-Let's not argue.
-It's not, but think whatever you want.
294
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,357
We're nice enough to give you a ride,
so don't argue about walking downstairs.
295
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,117
-Let's go, Giacalone. Get inside.
-Get in.
296
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,637
-I'm just not feeling.
-You can do it.
297
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,997
-Giacalone, get in the dumpster!
-No, I'm not getting in!
298
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,597
-I don't wanna!
-Giacalone, go!
299
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,357
-Giacalone, get inside!
-No, I won't.
300
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,637
-Get in!
-Get in, now!
301
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,877
Giacalone, come out of there.
302
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,077
Giacalone, please, you can come out.
The worst is now behind you.
303
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,837
Come on!
304
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,840
Don't worry, we're here for you.
305
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,400
Ah! Sicily's sea air!
306
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,197
-It's beautiful.
-Yeah.
307
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:44,517
Yes, it is.
308
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:50,520
There's no other land like this one.
Look at it! It's been this way forever.
309
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:55,917
Do you know that story,
the one about when God created the Earth?
310
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,477
Huh? As soon as he finished,
311
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,197
he realized Sicily
was the most beautiful land!
312
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,357
So all the other places in the world,
313
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,197
envious of its beauty,
all began to protest.
314
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,157
Every single place. Everyone!
315
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:10,597
The French, the Spanish,
the Americans, Australians,
316
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,757
everyone was jealous!
317
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,397
They all started complaining to the Lord.
318
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,357
They all shouted, "Hey! This isn't fair!"
319
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,357
"Hey! Why did you neglect us?"
320
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,597
"How come Sicily
is the most beautiful place ever
321
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,197
and you forgot all about us? Huh?!"
322
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,437
So to make Sicily
a little less perfect and a little uglier,
323
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,837
do you know what the almighty Lord did?
324
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,797
He created Sicilians.
325
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,317
Oh, you knew the story.
326
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,477
Yeah, because it's the first story
you're told as a little kid.
327
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,160
Right.
328
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,757
And I think it's precisely because
329
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,197
it's the very first story
we are told as kids,
330
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:50,117
that we Sicilians are now convinced
that we aren't very good people.
331
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,877
That whenever something goes wrong,
or something bad happens,
332
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,760
that somehow it's our own fault
and that we deserve it.
333
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,200
And of course,
some people go and take advantage of that.
334
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:10,237
We Sicilians should really start
believing that we deserve good things
335
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,160
like everybody else out there.
336
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,640
That's why I've been wanting
Sicilian medication!
337
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,357
Why are you two idiots
just standing there?
338
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:21,797
Let's go, it's time to eat!
339
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,157
The sea air
has given me quite an appetite.
340
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,923
Yeah, okay, but there's nothing
to eat around here, huh?
341
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,080
Good evening.
342
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,440
You live here or what?
343
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,477
Yes. Because I like solitude.
344
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,720
Okay, but why did you
order three meals then?
345
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,437
Because I'm a big eater.
346
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,717
And you need three forks
to be able to eat everything?
347
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,237
All right, listen,
why does this even matter to you?
348
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,320
Why don't you mind
your own damn business, will you?
349
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:04,877
Hey!
350
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,120
Twenty euros!
351
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,720
Go ahead and keep the change.
352
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,397
Ah, look at that.
353
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,117
Mr. Giacalone, I'm warning you,
354
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,157
once you're done eating,
we're going back to Milan
355
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,637
because I have to tell my wife
everything about our dumpster.
356
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,157
-What? You haven't told her yet?
-No, not yet.
357
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,517
You shouldn't be hiding
these things from your wife.
358
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,677
I wanted to tell her,
but Salvo told me not to!
359
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,997
-So I listened to him, but now...
-You really want to argue?
360
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,037
Because we could be eating instead.
Let's have dinner first and argue later.
361
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,477
And why are we having dinner here?
362
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,197
You already got enough Sicilian sea air,
363
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,037
so let's have dinner in Milan,
where everything's easier to access.
364
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,077
-My goodness.
-No way.
365
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,117
The seafood was caught here,
so let's eat it here.
366
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,677
-Otherwise, you lose the flavor, right?
-Hey!
367
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,840
-You're right, yes.
-Eh?
368
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,797
Why are you sitting down?
369
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,877
-I can't eat standing up.
-Where's the wine?
370
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,557
Oh, sorry. I forgot about the wine.
371
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,917
Wait a minute,
I'll go back to Milan and get it.
372
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,957
Some good wine.
373
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,360
-With good seafood.
-Amazing! Mamma mia! Mamma mia!
374
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,357
I got it.
375
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,997
But that's white wine?
376
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,357
I prefer red wine.
377
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,197
-Not with seafood.
-What do you care?
378
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,200
If the old man wants red wine,
bring him some red wine!
379
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,880
Why is he always so self-involved?
380
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:00,840
I got the red wine.
381
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,677
Wait! One more thing.
382
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,597
My good old late wife
used to put a tiny bit of oil on top.
383
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,797
-Otherwise it's kind of dry.
-Of course.
384
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,557
That's true! It needs some.
385
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,197
Hey, my dear friend, can you get the oil?
386
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,477
Oh, and while you're at it,
can you get some chili, too?
387
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,317
Personally, I don't want any,
but it's for you guys, you know?
388
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,077
Otherwise, you'll just spend your evening
going back and forth, eh?
389
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,200
He's right.
390
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,360
Oh, and if you want some music,
now's a good time!
391
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:26,997
What a brilliant idea.
392
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,178
Let's just bring
everything over here, then.
393
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:46,797
Look who's here!
394
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,317
-Dad! Hi!
-You made it!
395
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,083
Sorry I'm late,
there was a huge lineup at the dumpster.
396
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,360
Hey! I'm back!
397
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,920
-Mommy! You're here!
-Give me a hug!
398
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,320
Let's have dinner!
399
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,117
The wine!
400
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:18,197
The right to decent roads,
transportation, healthcare,
401
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,197
and above all, equal opportunities.
402
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,837
So now, please all join me
in finally uniting Italy.
403
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,520
Even I believe it!
404
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:33,600
PLEASE KEEP QUIET WALKING
(AND GOING) DOWNSTAIRS
405
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,037
FORENSIC POLICE
406
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:47,480
-You see? I told you so.
-I thought he'd be taller.
407
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,267
-Are you sure that it's him?
-Yes!
408
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,880
What do you want now, Alfredo?
409
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,680
I need to access
some surveillance footage.
410
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,600
Here are the cities, the streets,
the dates, times, everything.
411
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:15,197
Now they're all glued together.
They could stick to the wall.
412
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,477
-You should've eaten it hot.
-Yeah.
413
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,997
I wanted to eat it hot,
414
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,277
but you made me go back to Milan
every two seconds!
415
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,437
Not to criticize you,
you weren't at your best tonight.
416
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,237
-This all seemed very last-minute.
-It was very last-minute.
417
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,157
Are you for real?
418
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,277
Oh, so you agree with me then. Great!
419
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:32,437
I really don't want to nitpick,
but there aren't even any toothpicks.
420
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:33,397
I mean, come on.
421
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,197
Then go to Milan
and get them instead of me!
422
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,157
Geez, what's up with Mr. Sensitive?
423
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,957
-Why are you...?
-I'm not being sensitive.
424
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,477
Would you look at that? Unbelievable.
425
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,717
Anyway, guys, I really want
to thank you for everything.
426
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,873
You saved my life today
and I'll always appreciate what you did.
427
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,400
But there's one more thing I'd like.
428
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,277
Is there a bathroom here?
429
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,797
Can't you pee in Milan, though?
430
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,237
Are you being serious right now?
431
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,997
Don't tell me he needs Sicilian sea air
even just to go pee?
432
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,917
Look at that man's face!
He might not make it to tomorrow.
433
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,077
If it's his last wish,
let's give it to him!
434
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,237
We can't let him die with a full bladder.
435
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,197
Could you live with yourself after that?
436
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:10,397
Giacalone, don't listen to him, okay?
We don't exactly have a bathroom, but...
437
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,397
-I gotta go!
-At least it's a Sicilian bush.
438
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,037
-You can make do, right?
-You're doing it on purpose now.
439
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,317
Each time I wanna tell Maria Teresa
about the dumpster,
440
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,597
you keep on getting in the way.
441
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,717
Not true. I also want to tell Claudia
but the timing is never right!
442
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,357
Well, perfect timing isn't the issue.
443
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,477
What are you trying to tell me, Valentino?
444
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,197
That you think I'm just putting
a spoke in your wheel? Is that true?
445
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,717
I never said that, I'm implying it.
446
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,117
Ah, how cowardly!
You should be more like me.
447
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,117
I say things straight to your face,
except when I say them behind your back.
448
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,837
I prefer implying to your face.
449
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,877
But maybe you should start
doing it behind my back!
450
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,131
Maybe I will, because...
451
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,000
Where is he...
452
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,040
-Giacalone!
-Giacalone!
453
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,437
Giacalone!
454
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,437
Giacalone!
455
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,917
-Giacalone!
-Giacalone!
456
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,637
On my count to three,
okay? One, two and...
457
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,557
-Giacalone!
-On three, not two!
458
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,120
-Giacalone!
-Giacalone!
459
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,040
ADMISSIONS
460
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,837
What were the two of you
doing on a scooter at 3:00 a.m. in Sicily?
461
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,000
And with perfume on, huh?
462
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:29,520
SICILY EXPRESS
36914
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