Original subtitles

[Wind whistling]

[Crow caws]

[Scraping]

♪♪

-When people say, "We're all in this together,"

I kinda wanna punch 'em in the nose.

[Harmonica lick]

Is that wrong?

[Harmonica lick]

[Knife scraping]

♪♪

[Mouth harp twanging]

[Rockabilly music playing]

-♪ Hey, everybody, have you heard the news ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in, hangin' around ♪

♪ Watchin' crazy movies, so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties, booties, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

Let's go!

♪♪

[Static hissing]

-Can we just retire the word "goth"?

You know, people don't know what it means.

First of all, do you really mean "goth," or do you mean "gothic"?

Because the Goths were nomads who sacked Rome in 410

and took over Europe.

They were pretty aggressive people.

They could kick your ass.

But gothic means "Castle of Otranto," right?

Guys with frilly shirts and riding boots ruling over

medieval castles that are cursed.

Only "The Castle of Otranto" turned out to be a fake book

so it was really about a dude's idea

of how medieval castles were cursed.

And wasn't it some Rolling Stoneguy who coined

the word "goth" -- he was trying to apply it

to certain punk bands so he could distinguish

the cool late '70s punk bands

from the original punk bands who didn't dress the same way?

And wasn't he quoting some earlier writer who had met

the Doors in a place that looked gothic,

and so he said they looked at home in this gothic place.

Only he was probably just talking about

Roger Corman/Edgar Allan Poe movies?

So when you say "goth," you can pretty much mean

anything that's been jammed into your brain by

a thousand different pop culture references.

People say "goth" like, "She's so goth," you know?

Usually in a disparaging way

to mean she wears black lipstick and doesn't smile.

"Goth" was meaningful as a lifestyle for about one year,

and that one year was 40 years ago,

and then everything since then has just been various forms of

posing and shorthand for the word "non-conformist."

If you hate cheerleaders, you must be goth.

If a guy wears eyeliner, he must be goth.

Dark leather trench coat, totally goth.

Goth is such a cliche that people who self-identify as

goth won't say the word "goth," 'cause it's like saying,

"I'm a human being."

Goth is the baseline, goth is the assumed lifestyle.

There's no new information until you identify the subculture.

And that's where it gets interesting.

Because you've got punk goth, goth glam, cold wave,

dark wave, ethereal wave, Victorian goth, Edwardian goth,

northern goth, batcaver goth, death goth, vampire goth,

Celtic goth, Egyptian goth, pagan goth, leatherman goth,

Ether goth -- that's the one where the women

wear winklepickers --

suicide goth, Leipzig goth, Children of the Night Goth,

Mod Goth -- which is code for amphetamines -- Neolith Goth,

Lolita Goth, and then over in Europe,

you've got 97 gazillion additional ones that nobody

understands unless you live in a Romanian hostel.

So why am I talking about this? Why am I talking about this?

I'm Joe Bob Briggs, by the way, and this is

"The Last Drive-In."

And, Darcy, why am I talking about this?

-Because you always do a rant?

-Well, yes, but tonight, the rant is actually relevant

to the movie.

Darcy the Mail Girl, ladies and gentlemen.

She's here to handle the social media tonight.

She'll be fielding your tweets and your e-mails

and your direct messages and your Slasher posts

and Instagram nonsense for both movies.

And she knows what tonight's movie is.

-Yes, I do.

-Would you call the stars of tonight's movie "goth"?

-I wouldn't, but some people would.

-Well, they're not goth.

You know, tonight's movie is "Ginger Snaps."

One of the best werewolf movies ever made.

And it stars two sisters, and they are frequently

described in reviews as goth girls, but in fact,

as we intend to prove tonight, they are their own

religion/style/brand.

They have invented their own subculture, and that's just one

of the things that make this movie great.

Canadian horror from the year 2000.

A movie that never got the recognition it deserved

when it first came out.

I'm gonna give you some theories why they may be true,

but I think one big one is just the title.

I have no idea why they chose that title.

It's a double pun.

Because Ginger Snaps are, of course, spicy cookies

that your grandma used to make, but one of the lead characters

is named Ginger, and she snaps.

So they're using it like that reality crime show

on Oxygen, "Snapped."

If you watch that show.

It's about women who go crazy and commit crimes.

I don't know why the word "snap" would apply more to women

than to men, but there you have it.

Also, the title sequence is a bunch of snapshots,

many of them featuring Ginger, some of them taken by Ginger.

The two sisters take grisly snapshots as a hobby

and for art class at school.

Anyway, it would have been nice if they had put a word

in the title that identified it as, A, a horror movie,

B, a werewolf movie, and C, a scary movie,

because "Ginger Snaps" sounds like a comedy about

Girl Scout cookie sales on the Family Channel.

No wonder it took so many years to find an audience.

Anyway, they're not goth, so stop that.

Darcy, have you ever thought of yourself as goth?

-I'm afraid to answer that.

-Okay, so you have.

But you cosplay so much I don't know what outfits are

the real you and what outfits are your fantasy self.

-I don't either, really.

-But you had a period where you self-identified as goth?

-I think you've seen me at my gothiest.

-You mean at conventions?

Everybody is playing dress-up at conventions.

I mean, were you ever, you know, cult, all-black, 24/7 wardrobe?

-No, not really.

My years doing this show have been kind of gothy.

-Your years on this show? -Yeah.

-Yeah, I'm looking at you know. That's so gothy, Darcy.

You know. -Before now,

it was always just like super chipper and upbeat.

-Wow. So we're goth here on this show?

-No. It's just an overall feeling.

-You amaze me. Okay, we'll talk about that later.

But right now, we're gonna watch the genuinely creepy story

of two sisters who live in the most boring subdivision

in the history of real estate, who make a death pact

before being suddenly thrown into the intricacies of

werewolf culture and werewolf biology,

on the eve of the big Halloween party thrown by

the hot local drug dealer.

Sure we've seen it before, but we have seen it

with a menstruation subtext not explored since "Carrie,"

and a clueless mom played by Mimi Rogers?

I think not.

Let's look at those drive-in totals and get started here.

We have 6 dead bodies.

7 fake dead bodies.

One dead bird. Two dead werewolves.

Multiple dead dogs.

Two werewolf attacks. Casual wrist-carving.

Fist through the stomach, with bloodsucking.

Bathroom door destruction. Flesh-chomping.

Close-up large-bore belly-button piercing.

Canine consumption. Bloody vomit.

Bloody urination. Bloody neck-chomping.

Kitchen knife to the throat.

Coarse-hair close up scars.

One suicide pact, confirmed with hand-cutting.

Pitchfork through the neck.

Dirty lacrosse body-checking, with bloody dead dog.

Attempted trick-or-treater consumption.

Shovel to the head.

Two excellent transformation scenes.

Gratuitous tampon shopping.

Fingers roll.

Lawnmower Fu. Field hockey stick Fu.

Leg-shaving Fu. Syringe Fu.

Tupperware Fu. Self-infection Fu.

Drive-In Academy Award nominations for...

Lindsay Leese as the happy school nurse who says,

"A thick syrupy voluminous discharge is not uncommon,"

Mimi Rogers, as the mom who wears silly sweaters

and solves every problem with cake,

Katharine Isabelle as Ginger, the sister who turns

aggressively sexual even while growing a tail,

Emily Perkins as Brigitte, the sister who helps

bury the evidence but says,

"If I wasn't here, would you eat her?"

Jesse Moss as Jason, for saying, "Who's the guy here?"

during back seat sex, only to get raped.

Kris Lemche as Sam, the chemistry-wise drug dealer

who gets punished for trying to help.

Karen Walton, the writer, for one of the tightest

horror scripts ever written.

And John Fawcett, the director,

for doing things the drive-in way.

Four stars. Joe Bob says check it out.

Or, since this movie is 100% Canadian,

check it "oat."

[Laughs] Did I say that right?

So these are your goth years, Darcy, right here.

These are your goth years?

-Maybe it's all these horror films.

-Well, yeah, but they're not all gothic horror films.

You know? -I can't explain it.

-Why is the city in "Batman" called "Gotham"?

You know?

We assume that's New York, right?

But it was just invented by a comic book writer,

and he wanted put "goth" in the name of the city.

He was probably thinking of the Visigoths

and the Ostrogoths, the original goths.

Indicating that modern cities are full of barbarians.

He was not referring to the Darcy version of goth,

whatever that is.

-A lot of people I know are goth.

-Okay, can we just stop saying "goth"?

-Yes, please.

-Alright. Okay.

[Static crackles]

[Dog barking]

[Dog barking]

-What have you got there?

God!

Baxter?

[Screams]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Garage door clangs]

♪♪

[Woman screaming]

[Dog barking]

♪♪

-It got our dog!

It got Baxter!

-Come on, let's go!

-[Sobbing]

[Barking]

-Shut up, Norman.

-Can this happen to a normal woman?

-[Screams]

-Baxter's fertilizer.

And everyone's just standing there like...

...staring.

Why don't they just catch that thing?

How hard could it be in a place full of dead ends?

-Fuck!

Wrists are for girls.

I'm slitting my throat.

You should definitely hang.

-Maybe even your final moment is a cliche around here.

-Not ours. B, ours will rock.

-You don't think our deaths should be a little more than

cheap entertainment?

-You jazzed me on this. Don't wuss out now.

-[Sighs] It's the idea of everyone staring at me

just lying there.

I mean, what if they just... laugh?

-They'll be in awe.

B, suicide is like the ultimate "fuck you."

Come on it's so us. It's the pact.

-See, it's easy for you. You don't care.

-We swore we'd go together, one way or another.

-When we were 8.

-So?

Out by 16 or dead in this scene, but together forever.

♪♪

Together forever.

-United against life as we know it.

-Us dead will be the shit, B. Trust me.

♪♪

♪♪

-Too much blood.

And I can see your gonch!

-Just do it.

[Camera shutter clicks]

♪♪

[Tires screech]

♪♪

♪♪

[Screaming]

♪♪

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Doll giggling]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Screaming]

♪♪

[Cheers and applause]

-[Clears throat] All right, all right, all right, uh...

Well, that was completely, uh...

disturbing, wasn't it?

You know, the Fitzgerald sisters clearly worked very...

God!

I mean, I-I...

I am completely sickened.

Alright? Sickened...by that, wasn't I?

Hm?

Look, see me in the guidance office after class, you two.

Separately.

-Hey, can we see the ones of Ginger again?

[Cheering]

-Enough! Hey!

Life in Bailey Downs, huh?

Who's next?

[Laughter]

[Children shouting]

-Oh, yes, ladies, run. Run for daddy!

Bounce.

I bet she's good to go.

-You want to do a Fitzgerald? -You're kidding?

-Not the little dweeb, you goinks.

The one with the rack!

The redhead.

-Odd.

I think McCardy just checked me.

-Like you care, right?

High school is just a mindless little breeders machine.

A total hormonal toilet.

I'd rather wait it all out in our room.

What is with your back?

-I don't know.

Hey, Search and Destroy. Go.

[Laughter]

-[Laughs] Oh, my God.

-Okay, Trina Sinclair.

-I'm telling he, he totally likes you.

-Excellent selection.

Continue.

-Trina Sinclair, D.O.A. at the hair dye aisle.

Perished while seeking matching barrettes on nothing

but diet pills and laxatives.

-Likes her shorts stuck up her ass crack.

-Favorite homework excuse -- my nail glitter ate it.

-Basic pleasure model.

-Your standard cumbuckety date bait.

-Good one.

[Whistle blows] -Line change.

-Fucking bitch. -Let's go girls.

-Uh-oh.

-Let's do this again. Slide over, Sarah -- thanks.

-I'll cover you.

-Good.

[Whistle blows]

-Yes. Yes! -Run!

Bounce, babies, bounce! Keep running.

-Oh, yeah! You want it, baby.

-Come on, honey!

-Oh, yeah, baby!

-Come on, baby. -You want it, baby.

-Fuck off!

-[Grunts]

-Oh! -Oh!

-Damn! -Let's settle down, girls.

-The Beast of Bailey Downs strikes again.

-That's four dogs this week.

-Oh! Whoa! Bonus!

-I guess you're D.O.A. on a dog, huh, Fitz-face?

-That's enough.

-Are you okay? -Terrific.

-That is one mother-fucking mad dog.

-[Laughs] -Brigitte, go get cleaned up.

-Don't ever touch my sister again.

-Stop me, freak.

-Enough! Break it up!

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, that janitor was looking right down your shirt.

-Sure.

-Want me to kill her?

I'll kill her for you, B.

-Whatever.

-No, not whatever.

This isn't whatever.

-Seriously, what about torture?

-Anything you want.

-Or...she has that dog.

We could kidnap it, make it look like he got eaten by

the Beast of Bailey Downs.

We got all that blood and fake guts from the slide show.

-Yeah, that's wicked. Let's do it.

[Tires squeal]

-Hi, Sam. How are you?

-She screws a drug dealer.

She's begging for negative attention.

-Um, so, Sam are you -- are you gonna call me?

Okay, you have my number, right?

Remember when I gave it to you before?

Sam?

[Tires squeal] -Okay, bye.

-Let's go.

-Such a dick head. I don't know why I ever went out with him.

-See, you'd let idiots get away with fucking you up.

That's why the big Buddha made me.

To stop them.

-Yeah, so far, you're really kicking ass.

-Hey, just give me one clean shot, just one.

I fucking promise you.

-Don't humor me.. -So, uh, Fitz...

I think we should get together.

-Um...

No.

-Bitch!

[Dog barking] -Norman!

Norman. Jump, Norman. Come on.

-Jump! -[Camera shutter clicks]

-B... -[Dog barking]

-Just say you won't go average on me.

-Just 'cause some gonad gets his zipper going?

Rather be dead.

-I'd rather die than be here without you.

-Well, relax, you're not, you big suck.

-Ginger! Don't push your sister.

-God, I hate our gene pool.

-Look, girls.

[Dog barking]

-Come on. Let go. Let go. You're ruining it!

-Mm.

-Ginger, why are you rubbing your back?

-It hurts.

-Why?

-Well, um, pain flows up your nerve endings

to the synapses in your brain.

-She's not funny. -Yes, I am.

-How did you hurt it?

-Being dead.

-Does it hurt down by your tailbone, or is it up higher?

Is it tight throughout here?

-Maybe.

-Does it ache back here?

-Might.

-Oh, my God.

Do you think it's cramps? -[Coughs]

Give it a rest for two seconds?

Oh. -Pam, we're eating.

-Henry, the girls are both three years late menstruating.

Okay? It's not normal. If it's finally happening...

-It's not!

-Honey, it's nothing to be scared of.

It's the most normal thing in the world.

-Maybe it's cancer of the spine.

-Ginger-Ann. -Or tuberculosis.

-See what your attitude does?

-Or spondylitis. -Spondo what?

-Fuses your vertebrae together.

-Nice. -Brigitte, stop it.

-Have a fit!

-Well, I've had just about enough of that tone.

-Well, that makes two of us. Fuck!

-Alright, that's it. To your room!

-Gladly.

-Brigitte, you are not connected at her wrist.

Your father and I have counseling tonight.

I don't want you leaving the house.

The news says there's still some wild animal on the loose.

-They never go out.

-Well, you're a big help.

As usual.

-Ginger. -What?

-We'll get caught. -No, we won't.

-The dog won't even be out.

-Well, he has to pee some time.

-People don't leave their dogs out alone anymore.

-Then you will just have to distract her

while I nab the pooch and make with the gore.

-I can't distract her.

-What the fuck, B? This is your idea.

If you don't like your ideas, stop having them.

-Sorry. -I've just just had it

with eating all their shit, okay?

Whoa.

Check it out.

Now we can even leave a body. She'll freak.

-Oh, wicked.

-Take his, uh...

leg?

-He's still warm.

♪♪

Oh, gross.

-Shit.

Leave it then. What a drag.

-You got some on you.

-Nice.

♪♪

-What?

-B...

I just got the curse.

-Ew.

-Well, it's not contagious!

-I know that.

-God!

I mean, kill yourself to be different,

and your own body screws you.

But if I start simping around tampon dispensers

and moaning about PMS, shoot me, okay?

[Creaking]

♪♪

-Let's get out of here.

[Growling]

-[Gasps, screams]

-Ginger?!

[Growling]

Ginger!

Ginger?

-[Screaming] -Ginger!

[Panting]

Ginger!

[Breathing heavily]

[Rustling]

-[Screams]

Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

He's right behind me!

[Growling]

-[Screams]

-[Growls] -[Screams]

Oh, my God!

-[Growling] -[Screaming]

[Grunting]

[Screams]

-Ginger!

Ginger!

[Ginger screaming]

[Grunting]

-Ginger!

[Animal growling]

-Fuck!

[Screams]

[Snarling]

[Gasping]

[Panting]

[Animal growls]

-[Screams]

[Breathing heavily]

Get up! Come on, get up!

[Horn honks]

[Screaming]

[Growls]

[Tires squeal]

[Panting]

Oh, fuck me.

♪♪

♪♪

Shit!

♪♪

[Static crackles]

First of all, is Bailey Downs the most depressing suburb

in the history of Canada, if not the world?

That opening shot of the treeless landscape

and the cookie-cutter houses is an actual place,

Brampton, Ontario, and it reflects the childhood

of both the director, John Fawcett, who grew up

in the suburbs of Calgary, and the writer, Karen Walton,

who was born in Halifax but spent a lot of her life in

Edmonton, and she once said, "I hate suburbs,

I think they do awful things to people."

So we've got teenage sisters making a death pact

in this hell hole where playing lacrosse during gym class can be

a wicked power game, where the high school teachers

hate horror art projects, and where the local werewolf

gets tired of killing pets and chomps into a high school girl.

"Ginger Snaps" has a really interesting back story.

John Fawcett is a gamer and horror fan who had made

one other movie at the time he met Karen Walton,

a coming-of-age drama called "The Boys Club" starring

Christopher Penn.

And he was not happy about that movie.

The movie was pretty good, but his experience working with

Chris Penn in a genre he didn't love led him to a decision

that he was gonna make a horror flick

come hell or high water, and so he enlisted

all the friends he'd met at the Canadian Film Center

in Toronto, where he'd made a short horror film

called "Half Nelson" that attracted some notice,

and where Karen Walton was still learning about screenwriting.

And he told her he wanted to make a werewolf movie

because it seemed like there hadn't been a really good one

since "American Werewolf in London."

So it was an underrepresented sub-genre, unlike vampires,

and he thought that she should write it.

She said she hated horror films, and she especially hated

how women were treated in horror films.

And he said, "Well, that's why you should write one."

And they started a collaboration on a script that lasted

four years of draft after draft after draft.

Who does that? You know? I don't know.

I think much of that time,

they were trying to arrange financing.

So in 1999, they finally have the money.

A lot of the money was from the National Canadian Film Fund,

and they start scouting locations and talking to

all the Toronto casting directors,

and the project gets boycotted!

[Chuckles]

Because April 20, 1999, Columbine High School,

15 dead, 24 injured.

The shooters were two students with a death pact.

Along comes "Ginger Snaps."

Six of the main casting directors in Toronto announced

a joint boycott of the project.

They said, "We're not working on this film."

Suddenly no school in Toronto would allow filming

on their property.

Next the Toronto Star goes after their financing.

The Toronto Staris a newspaper.

And they say, "Do you realize that Canadian taxpayer money

is being used for a movie about high school killings?"

And it didn't matter how many times they said,

"Well, there's really no connection,

it's a werewolf movie."

But it was a marked project.

So they had to do casting in multiple cities.

They had casting sessions in New York, Montreal,

Los Angeles, Vancouver.

They went out to the suburbs of Toronto,

trying to wrangle deals for locations,

and they finally found cooperation in Brampton,

Etobicoke, Markham, and Missisauga.

Those are all suburbs of Toronto.

And actually the two leads, the sisters,

both came from Vancouver.

And not only that, they already knew each other.

They were born in the same hospital,

they went to the same schools, they had the same agent.

Maybe that explains the rapport they have in the movie.

Brigitte, the 15-year-old, is played by Emily Perkins,

who was 22 at the time.

And Ginger, the 16-year-old, is played by Katharine Isabelle,

who was only 18 at the time.

Anyway, everybody pulled together,

they were able to keep their funding,

they were able to cast all the roles,

including Mimi Rogers as the mom.

She was the only, quote, "name" in the cast.

And they started shooting in October

just as the cold Arctic winds descended on Brampton.

And the result was one of the most compelling

horror flicks of that decade, in my opinion.

Okay, back to the movie.

And it would be the Toronto Star.

You know, I have written for the Toronto Star.

If you guys are watching at the Toronto Star,

you still owe me money for that article on

the Polish town in South Texas, you know?

Very wily guys at the Star.

They know you won't sue 'em for the writing fee because,

number one, foreign country, number two,

Canadian funny money, you know?

So, "Yeah, Joe Bob, they must be slow in accounting."

Of course the Toronto Star was the nemesis

of "Ginger Snaps", you know?

And how are you supposed to say it, by the way?

"Ginger Snaps"? Like the cookies?

Or "Ginger Snaps" Like "she snapped"?

You know, I think it's the second way,

but everybody says it the first way.

Have I mentioned that I like everything about

this movie except the title?

-[Laughter] -Okay.

[Static crackles]

-Mom!

Dad! Help!

Let me see.

-No, it hurts, it burns.

-I have to see it, Ginger. -Don't. It hurts!

What was it? What was it?

-I don't know. A big dog, maybe.

-What? That's not...

What did I do? What...

-Shh.

I saw this thing once, on bears.

Said a bear will, like, come after a girl on the rag

because of the smell.

-Well, it wasn't a fucking bear!

There wasn't any fucking bears anywhere near here.

[Whimpers]

-Does that hurt? -No.

-That's impossible.

They're already healing.

No, this isn't right. I'm calling 9-1-1.

-No! No!

B, I'm not bleeding anymore. Right?

I mean...just...

spare me Pam finding out.

Okay?

I'm okay. Okay?

-Okay. -I'm Okay.

I'm okay.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

-I thought you were gonna die. -I'm okay.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Preying upon normal healthy cells,

the intruder gradually devours the host from within.

Eventually the invader consumes its host completely

and finally destroys it.

Complete meiosis involves

two successive division sequences --

[Thud]

which result in four new cells,

each of which is haploid.

♪♪

♪♪

-This one comes with a free calendar.

Are you sure it's just cramps?

-Just so you know,

the words "just" and "cramps", they don't go together.

[Cash register beeping]

-Okay, you're really girling out here.

-One day, you too will know my pain.

-Hey, uh, diss me or whatever, but I got three sisters,

and nothing quite takes the edge off like a good toke.

-Well...

maybe I like my edge, thanks.

-Or maybe you're just chicken to lose it.

♪♪

♪♪

[Motor whirring]

-Just pass it, fag.

-[Coughs]

-That a girl. -Yeah!

-[Coughs]

[Motor whirring]

-An eighth's 50.

-I don't want any drugs.

-Then amscray.

-I was just wondering what you hit.

-[Clears throat]

Well, officer, it looked like a lycanthrope to me, sir.

-I know what a lycanthrope is.

-Sure you do.

-Think you see werewolves a lot?

-Why, do you?

[Thudding, laughter]

-What the fuck?

-Is it working?

-[Coughs] No.

But now I just don't care.

[Laughter]

-What the hell are you guys doing in here?

-Sam, the man.

-Sam, man, we just needed a place to come and smoke.

-Hey, you know, I have an idea. Um...

Why don't you guys get the fuck out of my van, assholes!

-[Chuckles] -No, I'm serious. Get out!

Get out. Get out!

-Samuel. -Oh, shit.

-What happened to your truck?

-I tapped a tree, all right? Goodbye.

-Ginge, let's go.

-Yeah, why don't you stick to your own species, Fitzenstein?

-Trina, stick my fist.

[Barking]

-Whoa!

-Get down! Get down!

[Barking]

[Barking]

-[Dog whimpers] -Oh, you bitch!

It's okay, baby. Shh. Shh.

-I can't believe it. That was so weird.

-Ginge, what's going on?

Something's wrong.

Like more than you being just...

female.

Can you just say something, please?

♪♪

♪♪

Whoa.

-"Whoa?" That's it? "Whoa"?

I can't have a hairy chest, B. That's fucked!

-No way.

-No.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?!

-This isn't... -What?

-No way, like... -What?

-Bitten on a full moon.

Now you're hairy?

-[Laughs]

-I know, but think about it.

-Well, thank you for taking my total fucking nightmare

so seriously!

Huh?

♪♪

Oh, shit.

What if I'm dying or something?

-We got to see the nurse.

-I'm sure it seems like a lot of blood.

It's a period.

-But really, it was like a...

-Geyser. -Mm-hmm.

Everyone seems to panic their first time.

Neither of you have had a period before,

and you're how old?

-I'm almost 16. She just turned 15.

She skipped a grade.

-A thick, syrupy, voluminous discharge

is not uncommon.

The bulk of the uterine lining

is shed within the first few days.

Contractions -- cramps -- squeeze it out like a pump.

In three to five days,

you'll find lighter, bright-red bleeding.

That may turn to a brownish or blackish sludge,

which signals the end of the flow.

-Okay, so it's all normal?

-Very. Expect it every 28 days, give or take,

for the next 30 years.

-[Sighs] Great.

Thanks.

-Oh, what about hair that wasn't there before, and pain?

-Mm-hmm. Comes with the territory.

-Well, thank you. Let's go, B.

-Uh, wait.

You'll have to protect against both pregnancy and STDs now.

Play safe.

-Oh, geez.

[Humming]

-Wish these where babies' legs.

-Ginger's very favorite.

Congratulations, sweetie.

You know you can ask me anything.

-You're so dead.

-I didn't.

-Our little girl's a young woman now.

-I'd never tell her anything.

-Unless you wanted to piss me off!

-I want you to be okay.

-I am!

I just got my period, okay? [Dog barking in distance]

Now, I've got weird hairs, so what?

That means I've got hormones, and they may make me butt-ugly,

but they do not make me a monster.

-So you got bit by a great big hormone.

-Well, not by what you think! They don't exist!

Norman, shut the fuck up!

-Maybe he's barking at you.

-Did I change last night?

Howl at the moon, kill shit, and change back this morning?

Huh? No!

Did it take a silver bullet to stop that thing?

No. It got killed by a fucking truck.

-You always blow off anything you don't get.

-Yeah, when it's bullshit!

-You're doing drugs with guys.

Something is definitely wrong with you.

-You know what? Maybe you're right.

Maybe I do see a monster.

Yeah, it's got these little green eyes.

-Oh, yeah, like I really wish I was hemorrhaging and hairy

and sucking off Jason McCardy.

-Well, you always wanted to be me!

-Well, this isn't you, so...

-Oh, poor B.

I'm growing up, and obviously you're not, huh?

-Well, don't let me hold you back or anything.

-Oh, well, don't worry, I won't.

[Dog barking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Howling]

-Only one creature on earth destroys for pure pleasure.

It's a werewolf.

Oh, my God, there it is.

-[Growls] -[Screams]

-It's hideous!

[Woman screams]

[Growling]

[Roars]

[Gunshot]

♪♪

♪♪

-Get the fuck out of the bathroom!

I'm trying to get ready!

♪♪

[Indistinct chatter]

[Whistling]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Bell rings]

♪♪

-Hello, hello, hello.

Hey!

Kid, you got a smoke?

-No.

-You got a light then?

Oh, thank you.

I just spent a week of my life looking for you,

you can give me a sec.

You dropped this...

in my truck.

Okay, we both saw it.

What the fuck was it?

-It's what you hit.

-Hmm! I know.

But what the fuck was it?

See, I flattened an animal.

Furry, all-fours, could be anything.

But here I am thinking lycanthrope.

Now, that's crazy, huh?

Book me into the rubber motel.

I'm officially all fucked up, right?

-What if you're not?

-Well, that would explain the human circumcised dick

and why you were running for your life from it.

-Um, I have to go. Thanks for my stuff.

-Wait.

What's your name?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Gasps]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-Ah, the moral dilemmas of contemporary adolescence.

What do you do when you know your sister is a werewolf

but it's so intimately tied up with her getting

her first period that you have hygiene issues,

you have body image issues, you have the fact that

werewolfism apparently turns you into a highly sexed vamp

at school, plus the only person you can share with is

a drug dealer whose attitude and demeanor are reminiscent

of Christian Slater in "Heathers."

Oh, yeah, and your sister may or may not know

that she's growing a tail.

It's the achievement of screenwriter Karen Walton

and director John Fawcett that all this is going on

and yet we're buying every second of it.

Walton acknowledges a debt to "Heathers,"

and Fawcett acknowledges a debt to

"An American Werewolf in London."

In fact, they both acknowledge debts to many movies.

That's kind of a thing now, right?

I don't really understand why movie directors always list

their influences.

"Yeah, I was copying this movie, this movie, this movie."

You know, whereas in the field I'm more familiar with, books,

you would never say, "I read a bunch of Faulkner

right before I wrote this novel,"

because it would be considered derivative, you know?

In other words, the goal of the most skilled writers

is to go someplace that's never been visited before,

in a way that's never been seen before,

and "Ginger Snaps" partially achieves that

with the two main characters.

Unfortunately, a lot of the supporting cast depends

on comedy, but the movie is blessed

with accomplished comedians.

For example, the school nurse.

Rarely have I seen a one-minute performance that funny,

and that was Lindsay Leese, of Toronto's famous

Second City improv theater, talking about

the "thick syrupy voluminous discharge"

and the "sludge."

All the adults in this movie are frighteningly cheerful.

And that's also borrowed from "Heathers."

Apparently when women watch this movie,

they ask, "Is that a real store where they buy the tampons?"

Because it looks like there's a 12-foot-high, mile-long aisle

of feminine hygiene products, a veritable Castle of Kotex,

and the answer, according to the screenwriter, is that, yes,

Tampon Walls do exist in Canada.

One of my favorite lines in the movie is when Brigitte says,

"This one comes with a free calendar."

You know, because one of the things they're noticing

is that lunar cycles are 28 days,

just like you know what other kind of cycle.

And what kind of creature seems to respond to lunar cycles?

You guessed it.

And I don't think it's too much of a spoiler

to say that at Bailey Downs High School,

during the time covered by this movie,

the next full moon is on Halloween night.

And one thing that makes the comedy okay in a movie

like this is the very serious musical score

by Michael Shields.

It's got that really sinister and memorable cello line,

and then the double bass comes in,

and it's beautiful and gloomy at the same time.

And one other note before we go back to the movie.

Mimi Rogers picked out her own wardrobe.

You know, teddy bears embroidered on

a blue jean jacket, that sort of thing.

All of those choices were her own.

It was also her idea to find the bloody underwear

in the laundry and to use the Spray 'n Wash on it.

Okay, back to the almost-cult-classic

"Ginger Snaps."

They say this is a feminist movie,

although I don't really get that.

Just because it has two female leads?

That alone should not make it feminist.

But there are academic articles going around, you know,

about the words "gender" and "identity"

and how the audience reacts to this movie

and how it's an attack on movies that treat women badly.

You know, when they say stuff like this,

I wish they would name the movies that they're attacking

because I never know who they're calling out.

They seem to be okay with Cronenberg.

They cite him as an influence.

They seem to be okay with Carpenter.

The director cites "The Thing" as an influence.

Are they calling out Corman? Are they calling out Sam Arkoff?

Are they calling out Herschell Gordon Lewis?

Are they calling out Doris Wishman?

I never know!

Somebody make me a list of the misogynists out there

so we can study the evidence.

You know, people always say Dario Argento hates women,

but nobody ever says, "I'm making this movie

as an antidote to Argento."

You know, they always say, "I'm making it as an antidote

to the way women are treated in horror films."

Same thing for Lucio Fulci. He had that reputation.

Let's make that a project for 2021, okay?

Name the enemy!

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

-Thanks.

-No, hey, bullshit.

What are you saying?

-Swear you won't call a freak show.

-Yeah, I swear.

-I'm changing, like right now,

and full moons have nothing to do with it.

-You're serious?

-And everything I look at goes silver bullet,

in a gun, to my head, the end.

-Wow.

Well, let's not panic here. I mean...

For one, that thing on the road,

my van did a pretty good job on it,

without the benefit of silver bullets.

So let's just forget the Hollywood rules.

There's got to be a cure, right?

Otherwise, there would be a hell of a lot more of them.

-It's like an infection.

It works from the inside out.

It's like a virus.

-Right! See, biology,

now there's something you can sink your teeth into.

So to speak.

You're real, your problem's real, the solution's real.

Not bam, death by morality call.

Then again when I started piercing shit,

I got infections.

Girl says try pure silver, cleared up like that.

The ancients thought pure metals purified the blood.

-They thought leeches did, too.

-They do.

-Hey, why don't you get your slut-bitch sister a leash?

[Laughter]

-What a freak.

-Nice bird necklace.

-Ginger, a word?

-Is it "sorry"?

-No.

-Come on, Jason, let's go.

-Oh, yes.

-Ginger!

Ginger!

Hey. She's ovulating!

[Engine starts]

[Laughter]

[Music blaring from vehicle]

[Indistinct shouting]

-See you, freak! -Bye bye!

-This is a very exciting, confusing time for your sister.

Boys, her body, trying to fit in.

Maybe if she felt that she could share more with you,

you'd both be a lot happier.

You know, Brigitte, your turn's coming, too.

One day.

♪♪

♪♪

[Rumbling]

-My stomach.

[Laughs]

-Hey, hey.

Take it easy, all right?

We got all night.

-Sorry, you just taste really good.

-[Laughs] Just lie back and relax.

-You lie back and relax.

-Hey, who's the guy here?

-Who's the guy here? Huh? Who's the fucking guy here?

-Don't we need protection here?

Aaah!

Stop it! Aaah!

No! Wait a second!

-You're fucking hilarious, cave boy.

-[Screams]

[Doorknob turns, hinges creak]

-[Sobbing softly]

-Ginge?

What happened?

Did he hurt you?

If he hurt you, you should tell.

[Door closes]

Oh, my God!

-[Coughs] Get out! Get out!

-What happened?!

-Something is really, really wrong with me, B.

[Retches]

-What happened?

-I get this ache,

and I thought it was for sex,

but it's to tear everything into

fucking pieces.

[Retches]

-Where is he?

♪♪

-Next door.

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh, my God.

You killed Norman.

-He barked, and he barked,

and he kept fucking barking, and...

I...

I -- I just...

I just...

I couldn't stop myself.

B, what am I supposed to do?

♪♪

It wasn't at all like I thought it would be.

There was just all this squirming and squealing.

And than he's done, and you're like "Oh?"

Just probably out there telling everyone what a freak I am.

-We'll say the same thing about him.

-It doesn't work like that.

I mean, he got laid.

I'm just a lay.

He's a hero, and I'm just a lay, a freak mutant lay.

-Did you use something?

-No.

You really think this will work?

-We have to try something.

-Where'd you get that, that ring?

-I found it.

-Too bad.

You should have one, too.

I mean, for being with me on this.

♪♪

-Ready?

-Yeah.

[Sighs]

Aaah! Fuck!

-Shit, it's stuck!

Hold still.

-Fuck! Hurry up!

-Sorry, sorry!

-[Growls] -It's almost there.

♪♪

How do you feel?

-Wicked.

♪♪

-Norman?

Here, Norman.

♪♪

[Bowl clatters]

[Screams]

[Zipper zips]

-Hurry up!

-Hold still.

-I am. Hurry up.

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh, yeah. -Oh, yeah.

-Come on, hit it, baby.

-Nice. -Alright.

-Alright.

-Oh, McCardy, what happened to you?

-Ginger Fitzgerald rocked my world.

[Laughter] -No shit!

What, did you get your rag, too?

-Oh, shit!

It must be ink, all right? Fuck!

[Laughter]

-Whoo!

-Oh, yeah! Come on!

-[Whistles]

-Hi!

-Brigitte!

Brigitte, come here.

-What the fuck, B?

Did you get a boyfriend or something?

-No, we just... -Oh.

-I'll be right back.

-[Scoffs] Oh, my God.

-Hey, what's up?

Look, if silver's shot, I've been reading,

and I got another idea.

-Are you on drugs, like right now?

I'm in class here.

-[Scoffs]

Yeah, excuse me for giving a shit.

-I'll come see you later, okay?

-Whatever.

-The Fitzen sister are really getting around.

-Okay, line change. Let's go.

-He thinks I got bit.

-I trust you, and you blab to the first fuck-up

that comes along.

-He knows stuff. He wants to help.

-He wants to get down your pants, stupid!

-So, sluts run in the family. Quelle shocker!

-Fuckin' dead.

[Whistle blows]

[Grunting]

-[Grunts]

[Laughs]

[Screams]

-Oh, yeah. -Knock it off!

-Ginger, no!

Ginger, no! Stop!

-Fight, fight, fight!

-Aaah!

-You started it.

-Ginger, to the office.

-[Crying]

[Bell rings]

-This school has a zero tolerance for violence policy.

I mean, a temper like that is inexcusable barring

substantial extenuating circumstances.

♪♪

-[Screams]

-[Indistinct P.A. announcement]

-Ew.

-What are you looking at, huh?

My pen exploded, okay?

My red pen.

-That was fucking incredible.

Get your camera. Don't you have your camera?

This is wall-worthy. Come on.

-You gave it to Jason.

You had unprotected sex, and you infected him.

-Oops.

-I have to see Sam. He's got an idea.

-I'll bet he does.

Well, let's go.

-If you come, you can't be weird, Ginger.

If he gets I lied, if he gets that you're really

the one who's really... -A what?

A monster? Huh? A freak?

-If he thinks I dicked him around, he'll blow this off.

-I'll behave.

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?

[Hip-hop playing]

-Hey.

-Hey. -Sorry about before.

I was just afraid someone would hear us, that's all.

-Yeah, she is just a little moody lately.

That whole silver thing didn't quite work out, did it?

-I wasn't expecting company.

-My sister, Ginger. She knows.

-[Sighs] If you two come in here,

you see sweet fuck all.

Understood?

♪♪

Jesus.

[Static crackles]

-And now it gets real, right?

"Who's the guy here?"

Bad thing to say to Ginger when she's becoming feral.

Jesse Moss, the actor who played Jason,

says he had to take a shot of whiskey before they did

the date-rape-in-reverse scene.

Jesse is a veteran Canadian actor at this point.

He's been in more than 150 shows,

but this audience would probably know him best as Chad in

"Tucker and Dale vs. Evil."

Also filmed in Canada.

The main thing that makes this movie work

is the chemistry between the sisters.

You do truly believe that they are sisters,

and Ginger is the older but irresponsible one,

and Brigitte is the younger but smarter one,

and it should be no surprise that both went on to long

successful acting careers.

Actually Emily Perkins, who plays Brigitte,

she had already been acting for 10 years.

She was part of the Vancouver Youth Theatre.

She was in the original "Stephen King's It."

She was Beverly Marsh at age 12.

One interesting thing about her is that she married

a film professor at the University of British Columbia,

Ernest Mathijs.

They met at a film festival in 2005.

And Ernest Mathijs subsequently wrote a whole academic book

on the "Ginger Snaps" movies.

Katharine Isabelle grew up in the film business

because her father was the production designer

on "The X Files," which was filmed in Vancouver.

Mostly because of "Ginger Snaps,"

she became a horror regular.

She starred in the "Carrie" remake,

"Freddy vs. Jason."

Perhaps her most famous recent role was the lead in

"American Mary."

She's friends with the Soska sisters.

She also made "See No Evil 2" with the Soska sisters.

A lot of people have noted that Emily Perkins

is a women's studies major, and so they ask her questions

about, "Did your women's studies studies affect your role

as Brigitte?"

I'm amazed how many people think actors are writers.

You know, the only way she could affect the role is take

the role or not take the role, you know?

I once heard an actor say that the way you know you

did a good job is you go to watch yourself when

the movie comes out and you don't recognize that person

and you don't know what's going on in his or her mind.

I would say that Emily Perkins is so deep into Brigitte

in this movie that she probably had that experience.

She would later become quite well known in Canada

playing a drug-addicted sex worker in the series

"Da Vinci's Inquest."

Did she use her women's studies for that?

Who knows?

I saw an interview with her where she said that

during "Ginger Snaps," she was remembering her awkward

adolescence when she always thought there was something

wrong with her body.

She felt powerless in her body.

And she was somewhat of a rebel as a kid.

Very critical of the culture around her.

So to that extent, she was channeling herself at age 15.

But she was 22 when she made the movie.

I should also mention Kris Lemche as Sam,

the drug dealer.

I thought this was a very restrained performance.

He got the part just a week before filming started.

Interesting thing about him is that he grew up in Brampton,

the depressing suburb that doubles for Bailey Downs.

He was new to acting at this time, but he's gone on

to a long, varied career in Canadian TV and Canadian film.

But right now, back to the movie.

Roll it.

The most frightening thing that anyone said in any of

the interviews about this movie is when Katharine Isabelle said,

"Ginger is not much of a stretch for me."

Whoa! [Laughs] You know.

Somebody needs to check surveillance video on that girl,

if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

[Static crackles]

-Wicked! Smoke us up!

-Yeah, wicked, huh? Get the fuck out!

All right, Brigitte, it breaks down like this.

I compared homeopathic treatments of infections

to the folklore of all this.

Take a look.

-Aconitum di lycotonum.

"Lyco" as in wolf?

-Right. It's called Monkshood.

It's a cousin of wolfsbane,

except this stuff is safe in small doses.

It's a super oxidant breed, radical detox.

It promotes white blood cell growth.

-Which fight infection. Do you have some?

-Well, it's perennial.

It grows everywhere, but only in the spring.

-Fuck! This is bullshit, Okay?

-I seeded some. I'm growing it.

-Well, she doesn't have time for that.

Okay, she's killed a dog already.

She's fucked. She's growing a tail.

Did you tell him that?

-Ginger! -Hm?

-You're growing a tail?

-[Sighs]

Yes.

-Look, he's just another wank job, okay?

-What the fuck do you think you are?

Give me that.

-What the fuck are you, pervert. She's 15!

-Ginger, wait outside!

♪♪

-Fine. If he rapes you, don't come crying.

I'll be at home.

♪♪

-She's just freaking.

-Um, I do not think of you that way.

♪♪

-[Gasps]

[Clattering]

Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck!

♪♪

♪♪

-Your dad's battery is dead again.

He's stranded at the supermarket.

Want to go for a ride?

-Jesus! Can't you knock?

-Don't you "Jesus" me.

You don't have anything I haven't seen before.

-That's what you think.

-What is that supposed to mean?

-Nothing, I'm just -- I'm fat, all right?

Get out!

-Ginger, you are not fat.

These fashion models are all on speed to look like that.

-Get out!

-Okay.

Gosh.

I'll be back soon.

[Door closes]

♪♪

♪♪

-Give me back my dog.

-Trina, I don't have your dog.

-Ginger took him! I saw her!

You know, I feel sorry for you.

He doesn't like you.

He's a cherry-hound.

He's into virgins.

-Trina, you're bleeding. Go home.

-If you are so fucking smart,

you won't give him the satisfaction.

Somebody just once shouldn't give that fucker

the satisfaction!

-Trina, go now.

-You are as big a cunt as your sister!

-I am not. -[Sobs, screams]

-Hey, meat. Back for more?

-What are you doing?

-I don't know, B. What am I doing?

Call Sam. Ask the pro.

-What?

-[Muffled scream] -You play with your new friends,

and I'll play with mine.

-Aaah!

-Ginger, what the hell are you doing?

-You smell yummy. What is that?

Citrus or antiseptic? I'm not sure.

-Are you crazy?

-[Screams]

-Okay, that's enough. Just let her go.

-Shut up. Shut up, shut up. -Okay, let's just chill.

Right, Trina?

-You know what, Trina? She's doing your bone.

I wouldn't be so quick to get so friendly.

-Stop it, it's not like that.

-I think she's scared for you, love, huh?

-She's an asshole. She's not worth it.

-You asked for this!

You picked Sam over me.

Whatever happens now, it is your fault!

-Okay, this is not you. Just let's cope.

-Oh, with what? With this kind of shit.

He's wrong, moron. You can't fix this!

-You don't know that. Just give me a chance.

-What, another one? God, gee, I don't know, B.

See, I'm going way, way out there,

way, way far from where you live, which would pretty much

fucking rule.

-[Retches] -Oh, God!

That's disgusting, you fucking gross, fucking...

-Back! Don't touch me, you freaks!

You're both just totally fucked!

-Trina, we were just...

-[Gasps]

-Uh-oh.

♪♪

♪♪

[Garage door opening]

-Get up!

Get up now!

-Henry, what on earth are you doing out there?

Come on, don't eat it until we get inside.

[Gasps] Jesus Christ on a bicycle! What the...?

[Camera shutter clicks]

Girls, I told you, no more deaths in the house!

-Don't be mad. It's for extra credit.

-Back to immaculate in 10 minutes.

-Corn syrup. Dad, do you want some?

-Well, I better get this meat away.

-I'll do that.

♪♪

Mom.

-What?!

♪♪

-What do guys want?

♪♪

-Oh, Brigitte, I'm so glad you asked.

And that's what men want.

[Sighs] Some of them might seem cool or different,

but they're all pretty much the same.

-Totally.

-Thanks for sharing.

-Oh, honey, that's what we're here for.

Now, bed time. It's a school night.

Beauty rest.

♪♪

♪♪

-This is just great.

-Yeah, field hockey will suck now.

-Get me a screwdriver.

♪♪

♪♪

[Cracking]

Oh, God.

♪♪

-Way to go.

[Panting]

♪♪

♪♪

Here it is.

"Why your daughter dates dummies?"

I'm so glad I hung on to this.

-I think they're up to something.

-They're just being normal teenage girls.

-Then why are they suddenly so interested

in what you have to say?

-Stay in your own little world, Henry.

This one just confuses you.

♪♪

-Shit.

Look at all the worms.

Remember when I used to make you eat them

just to get in here?

Shallow grave?

Oh, well, seems appropriate.

Here, you dig for a while.

Hey.

Look, no one ever thinks chicks do shit like this.

Trust me, a girl can only be a slut,

a bitch, a tease, or the virgin next door.

We'll just coast on how the world works.

♪♪

Think she's pretty?

-If I wasn't here, would you eat her?

-[Laughs]

No.

God, that'd be like fucking her.

-You can't go out anymore.

-Well, I can't stay in.

I'll go mental.

♪♪

-We'll make Pam think you're at school.

We'll make school think you're home sick.

Just till there is no doubt about us in this.

Then we blow, as far away from here as possible.

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-Brigitte takes control!

This is pretty much the turning point in the movie.

Ginger can no longer take care of herself,

so Brigitte becomes the keeper of the conspiracy.

And he secret is not just that Ginger is a werewolf.

Brigitte also has to disguise the fact that Ginger is

infecting boys at the school, that they have a body buried

in their playhouse that might just be considered the result

of a felony homicide, that Ginger now has

an insatiable bloodlust that has to be hidden from both

the parents and the teachers, and that the only known

homeopathic treatments that might work can't be

accessed for another six months.

I love how messy all this is getting,

and yet Brigitte believes she can control it,

or at least believes it's her sworn duty

to protect her sister.

If you asked people where they first saw

"Ginger Snaps," it was probably on HBO.

Because it was one of those movies that got so mishandled,

nobody saw it when it first came out.

They premiered it at the Toronto Film Festival,

and it got a great reception, and they came very close

to selling it to Fox Searchlight,

but when John Fawcett met with the bigwigs at Fox,

they said they wanted it to be PG-13,

so he had to take all the "fucks" out of it.

[Laughter]

Do you know how many "fucks" there are in this movie?

I think it would be hard to find a scene that does not

have a "fuck" in it.

So Fox Searchlight's theory was that the movie is about

girls who are 15 and 16, so they needed to make sure

15- and 16-year-old girls could get into the theaters to see it.

Which is ridiculous on several levels,

but there you go.

They had to walk away, no U.S. distributor.

Eventually it went straight to DVD.

It was released in Canadian theaters in May of 2000.

Two weeks later, "The Mummy Returns" came out

and bumped it off every screen where it was playing.

So nobody saw it.

Then a few weeks later, this repertory theater in New York

asked Fawcett for a print.

The owner of the theater had seen it at the film festival,

and he wanted to play it.

And Fawcett said, "Sure, just show it,

I don't even want any money."

And so two days after it opened in New York, he got a call.

There was a huge article on the front entertainment page

of the New York Times on "Ginger Snaps,"

written by Elvis Mitchell.

It must have been one of Elvis's first articles

for the Timesbecause I remember meeting him at

the Fort Worth Star-Telegram right around that same time.

He was the main critic at the Star-Telegram.

But anyway, because of this huge article

with Elvis loving on "Ginger Snaps,"

HBO bought the cable rights and proceeded to play it to death.

You couldn't turn on HBO without seeing "Ginger Snaps."

So thank you, Elvis Mitchell.

You're the hero of this particular story.

And as you know, I think it was the title that cursed the movie

from day one.

But now it's considered one of the classics of

Canadian horror, which is a thing.

It's not just Cronenberg.

It's also "Hello May Lou: Prom Night 2."

Our favorite Canadian horror on this show

because of you know who, who models her life after

the villain in "Hello Mary Lou."

And by the way, guess who did stunt work on

"Hello May Lou: Prom Night 2".

Karen Walton, the writer of "Ginger Snaps."

So don't mess with those Canuck feminists.

Chief among them, Brigitte,

who will now proceed to kick ass.

So roll the movie.

This is a Toronto movie,

but half the people in it are from Vancouver.

If you ask people in L.A., where do you make movies

in Canada, they all say Vancouver.

But if you ask people in New York, they all say Toronto.

And nobody ever says Montreal.

People in Paris say Montreal.

Eric Rohmer made movies in Montreal.

But that's because they didn't like Eric Rohmer

in France, and you know why?

Because he made movies that people actually wanted to watch.

You know? You can't be a French director and do that.

Who did he think he was?

[Static crackles]

-Your attention, please. [Bell rings]

Starting immediately certain students will be paged

to the office to assist the police regarding

Trina Sinclair's disappearance.

-She is dead, man.

-When your name is called, please come to the office.

[Door creaks, closes]

-[Screams]

-Is Ginger avoiding me? Huh?

'Cause I'm feeling pretty good right now.

I just got a few questions for her, like, uh...

I'm growing a goddamn tail out of my ass,

and I thought she might have a few tips on how to deal with

keeping that quiet!

-Hurting me won't help.

-See? I'm up to some whack shit right now.

I'm way out on the corner of "Fucked-Up and Evil."

You want to know what I did for fun last night, huh?

Huh?

I killed my own freaking dog, okay?

Now, what am I supposed to do about that?! Huh?!

-You're gonna be in deep shit.

-I'm already in deep shit!

And I think you know why.

[Door opens]

-What's going on here?

-Thanks.

-Ginger, how was school today?

-I don't know. I didn't go.

-We had a field trip. -Really?

I didn't sign any form for a field trip.

-Daddy, will you teach me how to drive tonight?

-Next year. Maybe.

So where did you go?

-What if next year never comes?

-Ginger. -Mr. Wayne called today.

He wanted to know if you were feeling any better,

when you might be coming back to school.

The police want to talk to you.

Something about a fight with a missing girl.

-Daddy, may I be excused?

-No, you may not.

-Ginge, wait. -For what, B?

-Oh, no, you don't.

I want to know what's going on right now.

-What are these?

-Monkshood. Brigitte --

-Where did you get them?

-From a craft store. Now, I want an answer.

-Trina Sinclair tried to beat me up

'cause Jason McCardy liked us better,

so Ginger beat her up.

That's all.

-That's all?

Beating up other girls? Cutting classes?

I'm very disappointed, Brigitte.

-Sorry.

-You just do whatever she wants you to.

You always have.

I really wish you'd start thinking more for yourself.

Do you think I should talk to her?

Check in?

-She thinks it's cool you let us figure stuff out

for ourselves.

-Oh?

Really?

Well...

I wondered if that approach was working.

-Look what Pamela had.

What are you doing? Stop!

-I'll just take it off. -Stop!

-I'm just taking it off! -Stop! No!

-I killed their pets, B.

And nothing helps except tearing live things to pieces.

I can't be like this!

-This is monkshood.

First thing tomorrow, we find out how to use it

and we take off.

If you give up now, you leave me here alone.

I would never do that to you!

-I'm sorry. I'm scared.

[Sobs]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-BCX radio wishes you a happy Halloween...

[Thuds, static crackles]

[Thuds, knocks]

-B, what the fuck are you doing?

Hey! B, let me out!

-I have to deal with the cure.

This way, you can't hurt yourself or anybody else.

-Fuck! You fucking sissy little girl!

Ah! You're going rat me out?!

-Just shut up and wait for me!

-You little bitch! Fuck you! I hate you!

B, let me out. Come on.

B?

B!

Let me out!

-Holy shit, that's monkshood. Where the fuck did you get that?

-I don't know if you smoke it or eat it or what,

but I need to try it now.

-[Sighs]

Well, you got me, but...

to be sure, I'd have to say direct route.

Inject it.

But see, that's a bad idea, Brigitte, because neither of us

know what this stuff does.

-It can't be worse than being road kill.

-The dosage will be a guess. I mean...

It would have to be. There's no way to match for

metabolism, body weight, there could be side effects.

You cannot try this alone.

-My sister will be there.

♪♪

-[Sobbing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Screams]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Understand you may kill her trying to save her.

-What?

-It's for Ginger, isn't it?

Look, worst case scenario, you put her out of her misery.

Just as long as you're prepared for that,

and I mean sure.

Try to come tonight.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, have you seen Jason?

-Uh, you got a little...

-You're going to the greenhouse bash tonight?

-Uh, yeah. -Good.

I'm in charge of the prizes. You, too, could be a winner.

-[Moans]

-[Clears throat]

Ginger, my office now. Alright?

-[Screaming]

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

[Screaming]

Aaah! Help! Help! Help!

Let me go! Aah!

Let me go!

-Let him go, McCardy.

-Help!

[Screams]

-Oh, yeah, a chick.

Excellent.

Come to papa, baby.

Come and get some candy.

[Growls] -[Gasps]

-[Gasps]

♪♪

♪♪

Ah!

-[Gasps]

-I...uh...

I have to go. Um...

I have a class.

-Attention please.

Brigitte Fitzgerald, please report to guidance.

[Indistinct chatter]

-He wanted to call fucking Pamela, B,

and tell her we needed help.

So I stopped him.

You see how that works?

How I do not betray you?

-I didn't betray you.

-Well, you locked me up.

-You need to get this fixed.

-Why?

So I can go to jail for the rest --

for the rest of my life?

-We wait till everyone leaves,

then we clean this up somehow.

I think you've fucked up enough.

[Static crackles]

-So we might just be at the point of no return,

since now Ginger is devouring innocent people.

I mean, they're high school teachers,

but they're still relatively innocent.

John Fawcett said he wanted to create repulsive beauty

for the Ginger character, and by that he means

a woman who's right on that line between lust and disgust.

Or, as I've pointed out in regard to several female

characters in horror, the guys don't know whether

she wants to have sex with them or kill them,

and they don't care.

At any rate, we're about to see the ultimate

repulsive-beauty test on Sam in the greenhouse,

and then we're gonna see the excellent final sequence

of "Ginger Snaps," and before we watch it,

I want to point out that John Fawcett purposely

decided to film the final 15 minutes of the film

in sequence and at the end of the shoot

so that the final shot you see in the film is the final shot

of the production.

But because much of the expense is involved

in those final 15 minutes,

the production started running out of money.

So what did he do?

He did what indie filmmakers have done for generations.

He reached down into his own pocket.

And producer Steve Hoban reached down into his pocket.

And they came up with the money to finish the film.

It's what I call a perfect ending, both the ending

of the story and the ending of the production.

It's not a totally happy ending. It's not an expected ending.

In some ways, it's a very painful ending,

but it's a satisfying ending.

It's, in the final analysis, the only way the movie

could end that makes sense.

So let's watch the incredible final act of "Ginger Snaps."

Roll it.

You know, they don't really use the term

"werewolf" at all in this movie.

They say "lycanthrope" several times.

They may say "werewolf" once or twice.

I think maybe the reason is that the original term

for a female werewolf is "werewoman."

Although "were" just means shape-shifter

and so she might not be shape-shifting into a wolf.

She might be becoming a were-cat or a were-hyena or a were-rat.

You know, all of which have been cited in various legends

out of Europe.

The best of which is an Armenian legend that says

a demon gets into a woman's body and the demon uses

a magic ointment on her that causes her to grow fur,

and then for seven years, she turns into a werewolf

every night and devours all the children she can find,

and then turns back into a more or less normal Armenian woman.

Like the Kardashians.

They're Armenian, right? You know?

They're not werewomen, I guess.

I mean, they're just "scare-women."

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

[Indistinct chatter]

♪♪

-Oh, my God!

-Henry?

-Oh, g...

-What is it?

[Chuckles]

Henry, for Pete's sake.

It's for the girls' death project.

[Groans]

They're fake, you big baby.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-I'm gonna find something to clean this up.

Stay here and lock the door.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Electricity buzzing, flickering]

[Keys jingling]

[Creaking]

♪♪

-Oh, my God!

♪♪

-[Whimpering]

[Gasping]

Oh! Oh!

-Hello, Brigitte.

-Stop it! -Can I touch your boobies?

I like little girls.

-Leave him alone!

Ginger. Stop! Stop!

Ginger, fucking stop!

Please stop!

-Aaah!

-Ginger, stop!

He hasn't done anything!

-I don't like how he looks at you.

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh, my God.

♪♪

Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

-He found me.

Brigitte.

The mess. I had to...

-Go to hell!

-[Gurgles]

-He's not dead.

You've infected him.

Let me call help for him.

-[Grunts]

-Oh, fuck!

Fuck!

♪♪

You like it.

-It feels so...

good, Brigitte.

It's like touching yourself.

You know every move right on the fucking dot.

And after...

you see fucking fireworks, supernovas.

I'm a goddamn force of nature.

And I feel like I could do

just about anything.

♪♪

You know, we're almost not even related anymore.

-You're fucked!

-You love it. You should come for the ride.

A little scratch. Swap some juice.

We'll be our own pack, like before.

It's so us, B.

-I'd rather be dead than be what you are.

-We have a pact!

Out by 16 or dead in this scene, but together for fucking ever!

I said I would die for you!

-No. You said you'd die withme.

'Cause you had nothing better to do.

-Fuck you, too.

You think I want to go back to being a nobody?

You're fucked!

Stay the hell out of my way, Brigitte.

And I'll tell Sam you said hi.

♪♪

♪♪

-[Grunts]

♪♪

[Gasps]

-[Panting]

[Horn blares]

-Stop! Stop!

[Indistinct shouting]

[Music blaring, fades]

-Where's your sister?

-County greenhouse.

-Get in the van.

[Indistinct shouting, music playing]

-All right, Fitz.

Wicked costume, baby.

♪♪

♪♪

-Where's Sam?

-Shit.

-Hey.

-Hey, Ginger. Where's Brigitte?

-She couldn't make it.

-Yeah, why is that?

-Cramps.

She says hi.

-You want to buy or something?

-Or something.

♪♪

♪♪

-[Sighs] Go get your sister.

-Mom, I don't think --

-You've done a terrible thing.

But...

you're my tiny babies.

It's one thing if you leave. It's -- it's almost normal.

But no one is gonna take you from me.

First thing tomorrow, I'll let the house fill up with gas,

and I'll light a match.

-What?

-We'll start fresh. Just us girls.

It'll be fun.

-What about Dad?

-[Sighs] He'll just blame me.

They all will.

-This isn't your fault, Mom.

-[Sniffles]

Yes, it is.

-Lock the doors, okay?

-Ginger, come on.

-No, youcome on.

-What are you doing?

-I know you want to.

Everybody does.

Really, what would I be like?

Huh?

What would I do?

What would I feel like inside?

-Ginger, stop.

-Make me.

-Ginger, your sister.

[Music playing]

♪♪

This is fucked.

Ginger, get off me.

Get off me.

Ginger, get off me!

-Jerk!

-What? I told you to stop.

Oh, Jesus.

God, Ginger get up. I'm sorry.

Get up, Ginger.

-[Growls]

-Aaah! Fuck!

-You bitch!

You want me? You want me?

Stop hurting everybody else and take me!

Take me!

-I don't want you!

I don't even know you!

♪♪

-Brigitte, don't.

♪♪

Brigitte, don't!

-You wrecked everything for me that isn't about you.

-[Groans]

-No.

Shit.

Now I am you.

-I know you are.

But what am I?

-We got to go.

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-Whoa! Pay attention, Joe Bob!

Obviously that was not the final sequence.

Normally we have five breaks in the movie,

but let's do six this time.

The movie is just that awesome.

And now we've witnessed the point of no return for Brigitte,

and the turning point for the sequel, as well,

that being Brigitte's decision to mix her blood with Ginger's,

thereby infecting herself, thereby starting the process

of becoming werewolfy, but what's perfect about that

is that one sister is going werewolf to feel fully alive,

not caring who dies in the process,

and the other sister is going werewolf to preserve life.

Things I love about this movie -- A --

Mimi Rogers put the two severed fingers

in a Tupperware container.

B -- Ginger's speech about how orgasmic she feels

when she eats somebody.

C -- That moment when Ginger says,

"We're almost not even related anymore."

And you think she's gonna either kiss Brigitte

or eat her or both.

There are all kinds of gross and kinky directions this movie

can go in, and they always just suggest them and pull back,

which is magnificent.

D -- The moment Ginger tries to seduce Sam by showing him her

extra nipples.

E -- The moment Mom says, "First thing tomorrow,

I'll fill the house with gas and light a match.

We'll start fresh, just us girls."

And now we're set up for the finale.

Double werewolf sisters, Sam in the middle.

We know the cure works.

We know Ginger doesn't want the cure but Brigitte does.

Let's transform.

Roll it.

You mixed it up on me, Austin.

You made me feel like John Bourgeois.

You know who John Bourgeois is?

He's the actor who plays Henry, the father in this movie.

What a thankless role.

He's got one moment.

He's got that moment where Mimi Rogers says,

"They're just being normal girls,"

and he says, "They're up to something because

why would they suddenly be listening to you?"

[Laughs] So...

Mimi Rogers was kind of on a streak

when she made this movie.

She reinvigorated her career with a role in "Austin Powers"

so that people were no longer saying she was mostly known

for being married to Tom Cruise.

She had a Playboy pictorial.

She was a big winner on the professional poker circuit.

Mimi Rogers has one of the strangest résumés in Hollywood,

and I'm not even counting all the Scientology stuff.

You know?

We don't talk about Scientology on this show,

because if you do, they go through your trash

and find your tax returns

and then tell your probation officer.

So we don't need that.

[Laughter]

[Static crackling]

♪♪

[Music playing inside]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-B, I can't.

I'm turning too fast.

[Gasps]

-What the hell did you do that for?!

-I won't let you do this, Brigitte.

You both need help.

-You fucking idiot!

The cure works.

I had to use it on somebody else,

but there's more at the house.

This is the only way I could get her to come back with me.

Oh, shit.

What? How was I supposed to know that?!

-Just help me, okay?

Just get her in your truck and drive us home.

-Alright, fine, but she rides in the back.

[Breathing shakily]

-This is nuts. You need a doctor.

Oh!

Jesus.

She could have killed you, Brigitte.

-She needs me.

Get home.

Cure her, cure me.

-Then what?

-Run.

-You know you're kidding yourself.

[Ginger coughing]

[Gasping]

[Gurgling]

[Breathing heavily]

[Growls]

[Groans]

[Growling]

-I'll be right back.

Give me the syringe.

Dad?

Hello?

-Oh, shit.

Yeah, I've meant to fix that.

-Did she get out?

-Oh, God, I hope not.

I can't see anything.

[Soft growling]

Pass me that flashlight.

♪♪

♪♪

Aaah!

[Growling]

♪♪

[Clattering]

-Fuck!

That was your God damn sister!

[Glass shattering]

Oh, fuck.

-The monkshood's in there.

-Oh, you're out of your mind.

-Not yet.

Be quiet.

I got to get the stuff.

♪♪

-Oh, great.

[Thudding]

♪♪

♪♪

-Aah!

Fuck! Where the fuck is she?

-Shh.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Let's do this fast.

-Hell, yes.

All right, bowls.

Alcohol, alcohol.

♪♪

Brigitte.

Can I have your lighter?

-I can't feel my hand.

-Jesus Christ.

[Clattering]

Oh, fuck. Go! Go!

♪♪

♪♪

-Alcohol.

-What? -Alcohol!

-Oh, shit. Yeah.

Start grinding up the buds.

♪♪

All right, pour it in.

Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy.

-What was that?

-Shit, keep going. Go, go.

All right, hold this.

♪♪

Right, that's real fucking hygienic.

-I doubt it matters.

Hey, how about you take this and we blow?

-How about no?

-Then let me do it. You can hardly move.

-No!

-You can't do this by yourself.

Let me take the needle.

I'll go into the living room, you lead her in,

bam, we're done.

♪♪

-Okay. -Okay.

♪♪

[Lock clicks]

Alright, I'm going.

-Be careful.

[Door creaks]

[Snarling]

-[Screams]

-Aaah!

[Growling]

-[Screaming]

Aaaah!

[Screaming stops]

-[Gasping]

[Snarls]

[Panting]

[Soft growling]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Syringe clatters]

♪♪

[Breathing heavily]

[Growling]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Screams]

-Sam?

[Breathing heavily]

[Low growling]

♪♪

♪♪

-Ginger?

[Growls]

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

[Gasping]

[Growling]

[Breathing heavily]

[Growls]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Retches]

[Coughs]

♪♪

[Snarls]

-I can't.

[Growling]

I won't!

[Gasps]

-Oh, fuck.

[Gasps]

[Growls]

-[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Gasps]

-[Roars] -[Screams]

Fuck off!

[Growls]

Leave me alone!

[Roars]

♪♪

♪♪

[Growling]

♪♪

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Soft growling]

-Ginger?

♪♪

Come on. It's me.

Okay?

[Growls]

Ginger, please, it's me!

[Growls]

You want this?

[Growls]

You want this?

[Growling]

♪♪

♪♪

I'm not dying in this room with you!

♪♪

I'm not dying!

-[Roars] -[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Growling]

[Growls]

[Breathing heavily]

[Gasps]

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Sobs]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-First of all, the werewolf is great,

even if it is a guy in a rubber suit.

Paul Jones is the special effects guy

who created the werewolf, under very trying conditions.

John Fawcett told him the werewolf had to be feminine,

and therefore, he didn't want any hair on it.

So they ended up with a few patches here and there just to

hide zippers but for the most part it is

the most smooth-skinned werewolf that ever stalked the earth.

Second, everybody hates it when Sam dies,

because Sam doesn't deserve to die,

but that death of Sam is what gives Brigitte

the strength to fight, because it's Ginger just

executing him as a pure act of jealousy.

He's the person who came between them, so he has to go.

As a practical matter, Fawcett and Karen Walton,

the writer, had agreed from the beginning it had to be

the sisters' story and they couldn't be bailed out

by any males, so as Karen put it in her commentary track,

"Why does Sam have to die? Because he's not the answer.

He's getting in the way of the answer."

You had the feeling, though, that if Sam had lived,

he and Brigitte were falling in love, right?

But then there's the question of,

why does Ginger have to die?

Because Brigitte has the cure in one hand, the syringe,

and the knife in the other, and Brigitte chooses the knife

without ever trying the cure.

Ginger has to go because she chose death.

She's a killer, and even more important,

she's self-destructive.

Brigitte chose life, but oddly, even at the end of the movie,

she does not use the syringe on herself.

Maybe because she can't do the final separation

from her sister?

And it ends on that wonderful shot of Brigitte resting

her head on the breast of the dying Beast Ginger.

And we get that haunting musical theme again.

Wonderful.

Come on over, Darcy. I know you like this movie.

Oh, nice!

[Laughter]

-I love this movie.

I actually hadn't really watched it since it first came out.

But I loved it back then, and it still totally holds up.

-I had one complaint.

The mother, Mimi Rogers, she jumps out of her van,

and she runs into the party,

and that's the last we ever see of her.

It seems like they didn't finish her story.

-Eh, why'd you have to point that out?

But anyway, the movie is all about the dynamic

between the two sisters.

It's so endearing. -Agreed.

There's a critic named Suzie Young who says that

Ginger represents the United States

and Brigitte represents Canada.

-I could totally see that.

Canada is more sensible than we are,

I guess is the point there.

-Yeah, I agree. I really loved both sisters.

I just wanted them to go off and live happily ever

on a werewolf farm somewhere.

-Could Sam go with them?

-Yeah, Sam should be there.

-What did you think of the werewolf itself?

-Oh, it's beautiful. I love it.

-Yeah, sometimes a rubber suit just works, right?

-Agree. It was awesome.

-Did you see the sequels? There were two sequels.

-A sequel and a prequel.

I don't actually remember them that well,

but the first sequel --

"Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed."

-Yeah, it wasn't really as fun as the first one or as original.

-Does Brigitte use the syringe on herself in the sequel,

or does she become a werewolf?

-She goes werewolf. -Okay, that's great.

And what about "Ginger Snaps 3: Ginger Snaps Back"?

-Ooh, that one was a very unfortunate concept.

-I read that it was set in the year 1815,

and I kind of lost interest because of that one fact.

-Yeah.

-All right, what is this, Mailbag Night?

-There it is. -Mailbag night.

-A bloody letter?

-Yes, and it comes with this amazing object,

but I'll tell you about that after you read it.

-Okay. Here we go.

"Dear Joe Bob, I recently went back to

the original 'Last Drive-In' marathon on Shudder,

and I'm pleased to see that 'Pieces' is still

in the line-up, but not because I'm a big fan of 'Pieces,'

but because of your brief but fascinating recap of

horror host history, and most importantly because of

your moving tribute to the original Cool Ghoul,

John Zacherley.

Folks like Zacherley, Elvira, Svengoolie,

and yourself have helped make movie watching fun, engaging,

and communal, which is always what movies were supposed to be,

especially with the right crowd.

And among genre fans, horror fans are the most

enthusiastic, entertaining, and forgiving of any,

but I don't have to tell you that.

Your commentaries are always fun, and in spite of how

terrible we all agree a movie may be, you find a way to make

it fun and never talk down to it or its creators.

It should be noted that in what can often be

the vile social media environment of Twitter,

I find the most positivity and encouragement among fans

of horror and fans of you and 'The Last Drive-In.'

And I know you probably won't take the credit for it,

but Joe Bob Briggs is the tie that binds uniting

this community of misfits, geeks, weirdos, and mutants."

I think I just took credit for it by reading your letter.

[Chuckles] Anyway, "As a token of my appreciation,

I've enclosed a mock-up fantasy model box of John Zacherley

that a friend of mine made,

based on the 1960s Aurora model kits.

It seemed fitting for one of Zacherley's biggest fans.

I hope you'll accept this not only as a tribute to Zacherley,

but as a representation of this generation acknowledging

the roots of a culture that continues because of your

infectious love and enthusiasm for it, from the Cool Ghoul

to the World's Greatest Host, long live the Drive-In,"

Lucas Hardwick, Evansville, Indiana.

Thanks you, Lucas.

So let me get this straight.

In the '60s, they had model kits, where you could build

Zacherley, put him together with airplane glue, right?

But what he sent is not one of those model kits.

But it's an exact replica of the box

that the model kit came in?

Did I get that right? -Yeah, it's beautiful.

It's like beautiful art box,

but you see what happened to the letter.

-Yeah, where is it? -I wanted to protect it.

So hopefully they can just post a picture,

and I can give it to you after I'm un-werewolfed.

-You didn't bring it to the cabin?

-No, I have it. I just...

[Laughter] -Oh, okay, alright.

-Come on. -Think of how famous you have to

be to not just have a model kit made in your honor,

but people are copying the model box 60 years later.

That's awesome.

So we'll keep this in a place of honor on the set.

And now, we got a world premiere coming up.

Are you excited?

-Hm. Do you want me to say yes?

[Laughter] -Come on, world premiere!

And it's not "Hogzilla 2."

-[Chanting] Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

-Oh, my God, I should know better.

I'm Joe Bob Briggs, reminding you that, um...

-Soo-whee!

[Chanting] Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

[Laughter]

-Stop! Alright.

I'm Joe Bob Briggs, reminding you to never corner

something that you know is meaner than you.

The drive-in will never die.

Okay, Darcy, have I told you the trucker joke

about the frog?

-Yes, if you want to skip it, we can.

[Laughter]

-Long-haul trucker stops at a dive bar, orders a beer,

and he lets out a deep sigh.

And the bartender says, "Rough day?"

And the trucker says, "Day? Try month.

I barely remember what my wife looks like."

The bartender figures the guy is lonely, so he says,

"You know what could keep you company when you feel like this?

My frog."

And the trucker says, "What?"

He says, "I have this frog that'll give you

oral pleasure that will change your life."

And the trucker says, "Get the fuck out."

The bartender says, "I know it's crazy, but I rent this

frog out for 50 bucks for every 10 minutes,

and people always come back for more."

So the trucker is lonely, and he's curious, and he's drinking

beer, and eventually he says,

"Okay, you got me, here's 50 bucks."

So the trucker goes into the bathroom with the frog,

he comes out 11 minutes later, his shirt's half torn off,

he has this strange look on his face.

And the trucker says, "I'll give you a thousand bucks

for this frog right now."

So the bartender sells him the frog.

So the trucker drives home, and all he can think about

all the way home is that frog.

And he finally gets home really late at night.

Next morning, his wife finds him passed out at the kitchen table.

And the whole room is dusted with a thick coat of flour.

There's dozens of broken eggs that are scattered all over

and up on the walls.

And his wife is furious, and she wakes him up

by screaming at him,

"What the hell have you done to my kitchen?!"

And trucker kind of blinks his eyes open,

he wipes the flour off his face, and he says,

"Watch the way you talk to me.

If I can teach this frog how to make biscuits,

you're out on your ass."

[Laughter]

-Man.

[Laughs] Quit being so proud.

[Static crackles]