Original subtitles

[music playing]

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, how did this get in the paper?

What's the matter now?

Look at this in Earl Wilson's column, the second paragraph.

Oh, this is awful. - Read it out loud, mom.

This is just awful.

Attention, mom and pop.

Got a kid with talent?

Danny Williams is looking for a small fry entertainers

for his upcoming TV special.

Oh, jeez.

But what's wrong with that?

You are looking for talent.

But I just want a couple of kids.

You realize when the stage mothers read that thing

in Wilson's column, they're gonna-- they're gonna

just charge this house.

They'll be running around here like cats at open house

at a fish market.

Why don't you just tell them the job is filled?

Well, the job isn't filled.

Well, it might be.

If you just take the trouble to look around,

you might spot the talent the sitting right under your--

You mean you?

Ah-huh.

And me.

Yeah, us.

What do you know about the--

but I'll tell you what, kid.

Don't call me, I'll call you, huh?

You mean you can't use a terrific ballerina?

Well, how about that?

Hmm.

You look like Broncho Nijinsky.

How about a soc drummer who can really beat the skins.

DANNY: Oh, cut it out.

God, my dishes.

Rus, you'd break them.

Rus, will you cut it out before I beat your skins?

Passing up some big talent.

DANNY: All right.

Really big, really big, big talent!

All right.

All of a sudden--

How do you like that?

We're unwanted.

I know the kids are.

All of a sudden, your kids want to be actors.

Oh, there.

You, dirty rats!

You killed my brother Louie in the back.

And that's the way you're gonna get it.

You're gonna get it if you don't get off to school.

You're going to be late.

Now, hurry up.

You see, honey, when those stage mothers read this thing,

I'm telling you, we're just going to be swamped with kids.

Dad, mailman's here.

Oh, hello, Herby.

Bye.

KATHY: Goodbye, Linda.

Hi, Herby.

What do you got?

A special delivery letter for me?

No, it's just the regular mail.

Why don't you put it in a box downstairs like always?

Well, I thought I'd bring this up in person.

Could be important, you know.

A postcard?

Attention-- - There?

See?

It is important.

It's been 90 days since you had your car lubricated.

For this, you came up eight flights?

Well, I like to give service to my customers, especially

those who are so busy casting children for their TV shows.

I see you read Earl Wilson.

Huh?

I mean you read what I'm looking for talented kids,

and you just happen to have one.

Oh, no, no.

Oh, good.

I got two.

Two?

Wait Herby, you mean they're here with you?

Oh, wait till you see.

You got this.

I don't have time, really.

You-- you'll never-- you'll never regret this.

Honestly, Herby, I don't have time.

I got to get down to-- - I want you to do it good, now.

No, watch this.

You'll never hear anything like this.

Ready?

[SINGING] Next time your found with your chin on the ground,

there's a lot to be learned.

So look around.

Is that wonderful?

I asked you.

[SINGING] Just what makes that little old ant think he'll

move that rubber tree plant.

That's it.

[SINGING] Anyone knows that ant

can't move a rubber tree plant.

But he's got high hopes.

He's got--

[music playing]

All right, Mr. William, the coast is clear.

No fathers, no mothers.

Are you sure no fathers no mothers?

No fathers, no mothers.

No kids?

With no fathers and no mothers,

how you're gonna get kids?

Stop with the jokes.

I'm on a tight spot here, and I want you to keep

these people away from me.

Do you understand?

I will stand guard for you.

When they come here, I want you to tell them that--

that-- that--

I don't-- I-- I have gone away.

You are gone away.

I-- I'm out of town.

You are out of town.

Yeah.

I'm not living here anymore.

You don't live here anymore.

That's right.

Thanks, Jose.

Is it all right?

What's the matter?

Why don't you live here anymore?

But I do live here.

Oh, welcome back.

No.

I mean-- don't you understand?

I want you to tell the people that I don't live here.

It's not that I don't live-- you just tell them I don't live

here, so they won't bother me.

You want me to lie?

Well, yes.

Wait, that's very naughty.

I know it's naughty, but I thought

you were going to help me out.

I thought you were going to keep the people away from me,

so I get my work done. - I will.

You will.

I will keep them away.

I will do anything for you, Mr. William.

I was climbing the highest mountain.

I will walk a million miles.

I will lay down my life for you.

Thank you, Jose.

Of course, for that, I'd expect a pretty big tip.

Believe me, you keep them away from me,

and you'll get a real great tip.

I'll see you late--

uh-oh, uh-oh, here comes a whole swarm of them.

Tell them I left the country.

Tell them I went to Honolulu.

Don't worry about them, Mr. Williams.

You can depend on me, pal.

Come on, now.

Oh, uhm, oh, what's the number of the Danny

Williams apartment, please.

Danny Williams doesn't live here anymore.

He went away. - Went away?

Where?

He went to Jonolulu?

Jonolulu?

Yeah.

You know where the other jula-jula girl.

How do you like that?

We get these kids all dressed up,

and we rushed down here just as fast as we can.

All the kind of laugh that Earl Wilson article.

Well, you just can't believe anything

you read in the papers.

Now, come on home.

Take those pants off before you ruin the crease.

Boy, I tell you something.

You just can't figure out the way these people come here,

mothers and fathers and bring their children right

into Mr. Williams' own house.

And this is a terrible thing when they ruin

a person's privacy like that.

It's enough to make you terribly angry.

Hello, Maria?

Listen, ah, send me your Manuel over here, will you?

I think I can get him into show business.

[music playing]

I just want you to wait out here, understand?

You think you can get him to see me, Uncle Jose?

And you think I would bring you here to chase

a wild gooses or something?

You're the best uncle in the whole world, Uncle Jose.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

But I'm glad you did.

If it wouldn't have been for you,

I couldn't have gone to dancing school.

Oh, that was nothing.

Oh, but it was.

Dancing lessons cost a lot of money.

Mama doesn't know how you can afford to pay

for the lessons on your salary.

Now listen, I got a little secret, Manuelito.

You know, I have-- beside my regular salary,

I make a little money on the side.

Like stocks and bonds?

Well, something like that.

You see, when my elevator is coming up, it stops suddenly,

and sometimes the money comes out of the pocket.

Now listen, he'd come right over here, understand?

Just stand right there.

[doorbell rings]

Who is it?

JOSE: It's me, Mrs. Williams.

I was afraid then you were a stage mother.

Oh, no.

What can I do for you?

I came up here to report.

Oh?

I have been doing a good job for you.

Right.

I haven't let one single mother or a child

come up to this door. - Wonderful.

Thank you very much.

I didn't even let them come up to the floor.

Thank you.

I didn't let a mother or child come right into the elevator.

Oh, you certainly did a great job, and I appreciate it.

There's one woman came with three children.

I didn't even let her into the building.

- Really? - And she lives here.

Jose, you don't have to carry it that far.

Oh, Mr. Williams, I would do anything for you.

Thank you.

I tell you what I would do.

I would fight for you if they came on me with the bombs,

if they came with knives or swords,

or they came on me with the atomic bomb.

Atomic bomb.

Yes.

I would even fight for you then.

Jose, I appreciate that.

Even the wind nor the rain nor the hail

nor the sleets nor the snow!

All right.

All right.

I'm glad you stopped me.

I hate to fight in that kind of weather.

Jose, I really appreciate what you're doing.

And if there's ever I can do anything for you,

you just name it.

Well, you know there's one little thing

you could do for me, pal.

Well, you name it, and it's yours, pal.

Thank you very much.

Thank you for putting my little nephew Manuel

on your television show, pal.

Just a minute, buster.

What happened to pal?

What is this?

Some kind of a joke?

What do you mean your nephew Manuel?

I just can't take a kid and put them on a television

show just like that.

Don't be silly.

I guess you can't believe what people tell you these days.

I thought I heard my pal say he would do anything for me.

Oh, no.

Jose, have a heart.

I have a heart, Mr. Williams.

But now you have broken it into little pieces.

All right.

What's your nephew's name?

Manuel Ramon Cardenas.

Manuel Ramon Cardenas?

That's right.

What has he done?

He didn't do anything.

He's a good boy.

I mean what has he done professionally?

Ever been on a stage?

No.

Has he-- has he been in the picture?

Yes. He's in a picture.

- Really? - Yes.

And you could see it. - Where is it showing?

On my dresser.

You mean he's had no-- no professional experience?

Well, he-- he's going to get some professional experience.

When?

After you hire him.

Jose, I cannot hire your nephew.

Now, it's out of the question.

He is an amateur.

He's had no experience at all.

Now, you expect me to put him on a big television special?

It's not fair to the audience.

It's not fair to the sponsor.

Please, try to understand.

I understand, Mr. Williams.

You are a big star, and I'm just a lowly elevator operator.

And there's no reason why I should bother you.

You're not bothering me, Jose.

- Yes, I am bothering you. - No, you're not.

Then you hate me.

I don't hate you.

I don't hate you at all.

I like you.

How much?

A lot.

A whole lot?

A whole lot.

We are friends?

- We are friends. - Pals?

- Pals. - Like brothers?

Like brothers.

All right.

If we're brothers, why don't you give your nephew Manuel a job?

No!

Oh, you stop tricking me like that.

You hate me.

I don't hate you.

Jose.

Jose.

Uncle Jose?

Oh, hi.

Will he see me now, Uncle Jose?

Yes, he's very anxious to see you.

Oh, good.

But at a more convenient time.

[music playing]

Oh, thank you, Jose.

You can just put them over there on the table.

OK.

I'll be very happy to bring them right into the kitchen for you.

Oh, no, no.

That will be a-- there, that's just fine.

Put away the cans?

I could peel the potatoes for you.

Oh, no, Jose.

you've done enough already.

Oh, no.

I never could do enough for you.

You are the queen, and I am your humble slave.

You're terribly sweet, Jose.

Yes, I am.

Your Majesty, would you kindly tell your slave to get lost?

The king has got work to do.

He's got to prepare a show, so he

can earn enough money to pay the rent for her Majesty's castle.

- Danny, I don't-- - No, it's all right.

I understand.

I will get out of your way, your Majesty and Mrs. Majesty.

I'll go.

If you need me for anything, please make sure you

call on your humble slave.

Oh, thank you, Jose.

You're very sweet.

Yes, I am.

Danny--

I will not.

You don't even know what I was going to say.

Oh, yes I do.

I don't have to be a genius to figure

out this humble routine and the bowing

and scraping your Majesty.

Obviously, Jose has been bending your ear to get you, to get me,

to get his nephew on that TV show.

Oh, he has not been bending my ear.

He hasn't, huh?

No.

As a matter of fact, he just mentioned it casually.

Really?

When the elevator stalled between floors.

And after he finished casually mentioning,

suddenly-- the elevator suddenly got unstalled, right?

Jes.

Jes?

I mean, yes.

Let's consider the whole subject dropped, do you mind?

I got work to do.

Danny, you could at least take a look at his nephew.

Kathy, I love you with all my heart and soul.

And I'd do anything in the world for you, but I cannot do this.

I can't put a kid who has had no experience on a big TV special.

[doorbell rings]

That's got to be more stage mothers.

How am I not enlisted in the Lebanese Navy?

KATHY: Oh.

Linda, baby, what happened?

What's the matter?

Nothing.

I've just been carried.

Yeah, it was such a long walk from the elevator.

I take you to your room, little princess?

Oh, no, just put me down over there.

All right.

I put you right on your little foam.

There you go, little princess.

He's my humble slave.

Oh, my.

All the way.

And I am your humble slave, too.

Don't forget.

Always at your back and call.

Yeah.

He's real sweet.

Somebody back?

Get out!

Daddy, why don't you give his nephew

a chance on your TV show?

Linda, why don't you mind your own business?

But daddy, If you don't hire him,

you're making a big mistake.

His nephew is a terrific dancer, just sensational.

How do you know?

Jose told me.

Oh, Jose, Jose, everything is Jose.

You guys are going to drive me out of my--

[doorbell rings]

Now who can that be?

I'll get it.

Let them in.

Here we go.

I would not bear the thought of him

walking all the way from the elevator down the corridor.

Yeah.

So I gave him a little ride.

Yeah.

Why walk when you can ride?

What's going on, Russel?

Dad, you know Jose has a nephew who's a fabulous dancer?

You don't say.

Yeah.

That fast, you may be able to get them for your TV special.

No, if I act faster, I can get to kick a certain humble slave

in a certain humble pants.

Now, get off that thing.

All right, prince charming.

Everybody off.

Dad, you might at least give his nephew an audition.

They say he's terrific.

They say he's terrific.

Yes.

You could give him an audition.

It's the least you can do for Jose.

He's been so sweet.

I've been so sweet.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please?

All right.

I'll give him an audition,

Oh, thank you, Mr. Williams.

You will never regret this, all of you.

- You have-- - I kiss your hand.

Don't!

Don't kiss my hand.

You go home.

Just have him at the Copa club tomorrow

afternoon at 3 o'clock, and we'll audition him.

Copa club tomorrow at 3 o'clock.

Now, if there's no job experts, well, kindly disperse,

so I can get to the piano and get my work done.

All right?

See you around.

Look, if you're going to the piano--

[music playing]

Very nice tap dance.

Huh?

Who are you?

My Uncle Jose said to come.

Your Uncle Jose?

Oh, you must be Manuel?

Yes, sir.

Manuel Ramon Cardenas.

Manuel Ramon Cardenas.

But where's your uncle?

He must have been delayed.

He'll probably be here later. DANNY: Oh.

I most grateful for you to give

me the opportunity to audition for your program, Mr. Williams.

I've been looking forward to meeting you.

It's a great privilege to audition for your program.

Are you sure Jose is your Uncle?

Yes.

How does he speak to you?

Through an interpreter?

I mean, you're-- you're not exactly

a chip off your uncle's block.

You're out with you, son.

Dan, that's very good.

You give your name to Ms. Dorsey at the desk there.

Give you phone number, and you'll be hearing from us.

- Thank you. - Very good job, man.

Very good. Very good.

- Mr. Williams? - Yes?

- You like the way he danced? - Yes.

Yes.

Everybody likes a good old fashioned American tap dance,

huh?

Now, look, we haven't got much time.

Can't keep the band much longer.

We can't wait for your uncle.

So have you got your music?

Well, I can dance to what the last boy danced to.

Oh, are you a tap dancer, too?

Well, ah, yes, sir.

You are?

Well, let's have that Mark Fischer number again.

Go ahead, son.

[music playing]

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.

Ever think about taking dancing lessons?

Yes, sir.

I take dancing lessons.

You do?

Yes, sir.

You really take dancing lessons?

Yes, sir.

I've been taking them for about three years.

Three years?

My goodness.

It's kind of hard to believe.

Uncle Jose pays for my lessons.

Uncle Jose?

Excuse me, Mr. Williams. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm late, Manuelito.

I get-- we'll get ready right now and do the dance for you.

DANNY: Well--

I already did it, Uncle Jose.

Yes, we've had the dance.

Oh, I guess you were surprised, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

Real surprised.

And you're going to give Manuel a big job on your show?

Ah, sit down, son.

Jose, let me talk to you a second.

Now look, he's a real cute kid.

Yeah.

But you know, show business is--

it's a tough, tough racket.

It's no bed of roses.

And believe me, people--

people with a lot of talent still don't make it

because they haven't got that--

that-- that something special, that little extra something.

You understand what I mean?

You think that-- that Manuel doesn't have something special?

Well, ah--

You mean, he doesn't have something special.

Look, Jose, I'd rather bite my tongue than hurt your feelings.

But I've got to say what is true.

Now, I know this business pretty well.

I've been in it all my life.

Now he tells me you've been spending money

on dancing lessons for him.

Yes, I have.

Jose, stop it.

Save your money.

This boy has no talent for show business.

Excuse me, Mr. Williams.

You were trying to tell me that Manuel,

the whole head of his class at the academy

has no talent for show business?

Listen, my ex pal, friend, king.

This is your ex humble slave talking to you now.

I tell you one thing that I hate to say this, but I--

I hate to even have you in my elevator

anymore because you don't know what you're talking about.

Now Jose-- Jose, now listen--

Manuel.

Now don't lose your head.

We're going right out of here.

Wait, Uncle Jose.

Don't be mad at Mr. Williams.

I didn't dance well.

I know better than that.

Jose, you heard the kid.

Bless you, son, that's real nice.

He's being honest with you.

He didn't dance well. I'm telling you.

Save your money.

This boy will never be a tap dancer.

Don't you try to tell me that he won't be a--

a tap dancer?

That's right.

That's the kind of dance you were doing for Mr. Williams?

A tap dance?

Yes, uncle Jose.

Why did you do that, Manuel?

That's what they like.

Well, I do not care what you like, Mr. Williams.

Manuel Ramon Cardenas will never be a tap dancer.

But he said he's a tap dancer.

He's an artist, and we're going to show you.

Come on, Manuelito.

Now, you put on that.

I will take the music.

I can pass it out.

Could you kindly pass that out to all the musician people?

Thank you very much.

[music playing]

[applause]

Very good!

Well, well, well, there it is.

I am sure this is the first of many, many contracts.

You've got a great future, son.

Now, before your mother signs it,

have her take it to a lawyer so that he

can protect your interests.

Oh, I will protect his interests.

Huh?

You mean, you're going to handle his affairs?

Oh, sure.

I'm going to be his manager.

I would look over all the contract

with a fine tooth comb.

And I will be by his side all the time to protect him.

I'm lucky to have you, Uncle Jose.

That's right.

Now, you explain this to me, so I can start protecting you.

Go ahead.

Read that.

Well, it says that the party of the first part herein--

No, wait a minute.

That's out.

What are you talking about? What's out?

He's in training. No parties.

Oh, come on.

[music playing]