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1
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:12,316
[theme music playing]
2
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,725
Hey, Danny, look, if
we're going to a movie,
3
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,031
why have coffee now?
4
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,728
Because I got to
wait till my wife
5
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,469
finishes powdering her nose.
6
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:36,079
So much time to
powder her nose,
7
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:37,341
you'd think she was
powdering yours.
8
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,429
Oh, sit down.
9
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:42,868
I-- [sobbing]
10
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:43,739
What's the matter?
11
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:44,783
Oh, this is terrible.
12
00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:45,654
What's terrible?
13
00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:46,611
Terrible.
14
00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:47,612
Rusty lost his racket.
15
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,488
You're crying because
Rusty lost his racket?
16
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:57,100
No, I'm crying
because I found it.
17
00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,972
The kids-- kids, there
should be a law against them.
18
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:00,843
Oh, give it to me.
19
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:01,844
I'll put it away.
20
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:03,019
Stop complaining about kid--
21
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:10,157
Linda lost her skates.
22
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,636
You know, Danny,
you haven't got kids.
23
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,335
You've got a demolition team.
24
00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,554
Are we going to the
movies tonight or not?
25
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,600
Well, sure, as soon as
Kathy gets off the phone.
26
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,167
Hey, how are we
going to find a picture
27
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,430
that we all haven't seen?
28
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,996
Well, find one.
29
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,651
Let me see now.
30
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,175
How about "A
Holiday in Acapulco?"
31
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:29,176
Hey, OK by me.
32
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:31,134
Yeah, I haven't seen it.
33
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,963
Neither have I. I
think we have found one.
34
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,095
Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
35
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:36,618
Don't count your eggs yet.
- What?
36
00:01:36,747 --> 00:01:38,446
We have one more chicken
yet to be heard from.
37
00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:39,664
Oh.
38
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:42,014
Hey, hey, Chicken.
39
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:43,755
Have you seen
"Holiday in Acapulco?"
40
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:45,061
No.
41
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:46,323
How about that?
42
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,411
Let's get going
fast before something
43
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:48,282
happens to louse it up.
44
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,544
It's too late.
45
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,198
Something's already happened.
- What?
46
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,634
Well, the sitter that was
going to stay with the kids
47
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:53,678
can't come.
48
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:54,592
Why do you need a sitter?
49
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:55,898
What's wrong with Louise?
50
00:01:56,027 --> 00:01:57,726
Louise has gone off on a trip.
51
00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:58,683
Oh.
52
00:01:58,814 --> 00:01:59,728
What'd I tell you?
53
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:01,860
Kids are always spoiling things.
54
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:05,212
Well, it's not their fault
we can't find a sitter.
55
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:08,476
Yeah, but it's their
fault you need a sitter.
56
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,608
Bunny and I want
to go out, we go.
57
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,784
I mean, we-- we don't have
to call anybody and say,
58
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:14,221
would you please come
over and sit and watch
59
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:15,787
our furniture, please?
60
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:16,788
Right, Bunny?
61
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:18,268
Yeah, that's right, Dear.
62
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,140
Well, listen, it's
just as well, you know,
63
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:21,619
because I was kind
of tired tonight.
64
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,012
Listen, we can all go to
the movie tomorrow night.
65
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,318
Kathy, get a sitter
for tomorrow night.
66
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,623
It's a good idea.
We'll do it tomorrow.
67
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:26,798
Hey, how about
some of that coffee?
68
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:28,670
All right.
69
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,106
Oh.
70
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,239
We can't go to a
show tomorrow night.
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00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:33,414
Why not?
72
00:02:33,543 --> 00:02:35,416
I forgot about the PTA.
73
00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:36,852
The PTA saw the picture?
74
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,162
There's a PTA
meeting tomorrow night,
75
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,120
and Danny, you
promised to go, too.
76
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,948
I know, I forgot all about it.
77
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,689
Let's see now--
first, you can't see
78
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,517
a picture because you can't get
someone to sit with the kids.
79
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:50,909
Then you can't see a
picture because you've
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00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,215
got to go to a PTA meeting.
81
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,521
And you've got to
go to a PTA meeting
82
00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:54,391
because you've got kids.
83
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:55,305
You know something?
84
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:56,480
You ain't got kids.
85
00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:59,656
They got you.
86
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:02,051
It's a plot to keep us from
seeing "A Holiday in Acapulco."
87
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,184
Oh, Charlie, don't
be such a sore head.
88
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:06,142
You can see the
picture another time.
89
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,491
Well, go stay home
tonight, and watch
90
00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:08,710
"The Dick Van Dyke Show."
91
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,754
They say it's great.
- Oh, great.
92
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,191
Fine.
93
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,279
You know, if we can
get a guarantee the k--
94
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,193
hey, wait a minute.
95
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:14,585
Wait a minute.
- What?
96
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,196
Who-- who has to see
this on the screen?
97
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,109
We got the time.
98
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,633
We can do it.
99
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:19,938
What are you talking about?
100
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:23,115
We can have a
holiday in Acapulco.
101
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,813
You mean go
there in the flesh?
102
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,118
If that's where
you want to go, fine.
103
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:29,687
I think I'll wear clothes.
104
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,863
Charlie, you got
something there.
105
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:32,821
You mean to wear clothes?
106
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:33,865
No, no.
107
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,127
I mean, the whole idea.
108
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:37,086
We owe ourselves a vacation.
109
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:38,827
That's a great idea.
110
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,698
I don't know why I didn't think
of a trip like this before.
111
00:03:40,829 --> 00:03:42,222
Bunny, we'll go
shopping tomorrow.
112
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:45,747
That's why I didn't
think of it [inaudible]..
113
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,531
Don't cry before your hurts.
114
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:48,837
Wonderful idea.
115
00:03:48,966 --> 00:03:50,534
Can you imagine the
[inaudible],, huh?
116
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,188
On the beach, lying out there
with that hot sun burning
117
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our faces.
118
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:56,453
And the hot sand
burning the other side.
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00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:57,367
It'll be great, huh?
120
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:58,412
Dining under the stars.
121
00:03:58,542 --> 00:03:59,630
Champagne, anyone?
122
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:00,979
Hey, we'll do
enough round, right?
123
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,981
And don't forget
dancing the cha-cha-cha
124
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:06,768
to the music of Escondido
Schwartz and his muchachos.
125
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,160
Ole!
126
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,988
Oh, we can't go.
127
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:10,859
What's the matter?
128
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,339
Why?
129
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,950
Well, Louise is visiting
relatives in Ohio,
130
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,473
and she won't be back in time.
131
00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:18,649
And I won't leave the
kids with strangers.
132
00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,130
How about leaving
them with the PTA?
133
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,611
Oh, Charlie, shut up.
134
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,395
You-- you mean it's off?
135
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:29,399
No cha-cha-cha, no
sun, no frijoles?
136
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:32,707
I was beginning to
taste the hot chili.
137
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,230
Some vacation.
138
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:37,058
I don't even get a chance
to get a heartburn.
139
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:38,278
I'm sorry, Charlie.
140
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:39,279
But you know, after
all, the kids--
141
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,280
The kids!
The kids!
142
00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:41,585
The kids!
143
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:42,891
You can't do this
because of the kids.
144
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,284
You can't do that
because of the kids.
145
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:45,807
You can't do anything
because of the kids.
146
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,374
Well, Charlie,
for heaven sake's,
147
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:48,636
I'm quite sure that
Danny and Kathy--
148
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:49,550
It's true!
149
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:50,942
It's true!
150
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,596
I mean, at least if
you got a cat in a dog,
151
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:53,728
and you want to
go away someplace,
152
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,860
you put him in a kennel.
153
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,123
Wait a minute.
154
00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,821
What a wonderful-- that's
what this country needs!
155
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:00,909
A kennel for kids.
156
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,130
Oh, Charlie.
157
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,436
Don't be silly.
You can't--
158
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:07,785
What's silly?
159
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,134
I mean, you bring the
kids to the place.
160
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:10,005
They take them in.
161
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,398
They put them in a cage.
162
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:14,357
Three times a day,
they throw them a bone.
163
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:17,752
Twice a day, they take
them out and walk them.
164
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:20,015
That way, it wouldn't
be so bad to have kids.
165
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:22,234
Well, Charlie, there are a
lot of people in this world who
166
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,193
have children even
without kennels,
167
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,499
and they don't
think it's so bad.
168
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:26,630
Yeah, well, they
got to think that way,
169
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:27,762
because they're already stuck.
170
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:28,806
They're not like us.
171
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,373
We like it the way it is, huh?
172
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:31,940
No-- no PTAs.
173
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:33,028
No babysitters.
174
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,856
We can do and go where we want.
175
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:35,944
Hey, sweetie?
176
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:39,513
Oh, stop flapping your lips.
177
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:40,427
Huh?
178
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:43,212
Oh, go soak your head.
179
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,215
Oh, wha--
180
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,739
What is she getting
so upset about?
181
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,442
Is anything wrong?
182
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:57,835
No, no, nothing's wrong.
183
00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,882
Bunny, there is
something bothering you.
184
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,187
Oh, well, it's--
185
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:03,363
it's just Charlie.
186
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:04,799
He makes me so doggone mad.
187
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:05,713
Ugh.
188
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,192
Huh?
189
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,630
Well, it's-- it's the
way he's always talking.
190
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,632
Like for instance, the way--
way he was talking about kids,
191
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,416
about they're-- they're pests,
and put them in kennels,
192
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:14,330
and throw them bones.
193
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,332
And, oh, just everything.
194
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,987
Well, if Charlie doesn't
like kids, he doesn't have to.
195
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:19,901
Yes, he does.
196
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:20,989
Why?
197
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,470
Because I'm going to have one.
198
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,212
Oh, Bunny-- oh,
Bunny, that's wonderful!
199
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:30,955
Why-- why, Charlie would
be so thrilled that he--
200
00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:32,392
oh.
201
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:33,349
Exactly.
202
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,829
- Mm-mhm.
- Oh, Kathy.
203
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,570
He's-- he's going to
hate me, and he's going
204
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,832
to hate the baby.
205
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:41,749
Well, I'm just not
going to tell him.
206
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,186
You mean he doesn't know?
207
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,534
No.
208
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,189
I-- I-- I just found
out this afternoon,
209
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:48,712
and I was afraid to tell him.
210
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,497
Oh, Bunny, you've
got to tell him.
211
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:51,498
Well, why should I?
212
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,935
He doesn't deserve to know.
213
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:56,372
Well, how long do you think
you can keep it a secret?
214
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,939
Well, I don't know.
215
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,462
Maybe I can wait till I
come home from the hospital.
216
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:03,901
Bunny.
217
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:05,903
Well, but-- now,
Kathy, I know that man.
218
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,339
You know, I'll make you a bet.
219
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,341
Do you know, before that
kid's a week old, he--
220
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:10,778
he'll be teaching
it how to walk.
221
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,170
What?
222
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:13,476
Sure, so then he'll
run away from home.
223
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,960
Kathy, why did this
have to happen?
224
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,091
Bunny, don't say that.
225
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:22,267
Don't even think it ever.
226
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,487
This is the most glorious thing
that's ever happened to you,
227
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:25,836
and don't you forget it.
228
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,577
Oh, come on, Kathy.
229
00:07:27,707 --> 00:07:31,146
What's so marvelous about being
a mother and having a baby?
230
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,453
Charlie's mother had a
baby and look what she got.
231
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:39,284
Bunny, you're going
to have to tell him.
232
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,983
No, I don't have to,
and I'm not going to.
233
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:45,639
Oh, I'm so mad at him
I could just belt him!
234
00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:47,379
The only thing that
stops me is I'd
235
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,120
have to tell him
what it was for,
236
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,774
and I'm not going to tell him!
237
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:55,649
Goodnight, Kathy.
238
00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,172
See you later, Charlie.
239
00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:58,521
- I hope you feel better, Bunny.
- Yeah, thank you.
240
00:07:58,652 --> 00:07:59,174
Thank you.
241
00:07:59,304 --> 00:07:59,870
Goodnight.
242
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,089
Goodnight.
243
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,482
What a couple.
244
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,396
You know, they should
be on television.
245
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,050
I think Charlie Halper is
one of the funniest men
246
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:07,443
in the whole world.
247
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:08,226
How great, we should
have a kennel for kids--
248
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:09,271
Oh, shut up!
249
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,755
What's the matter with you?
250
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,670
Oh, you men!
251
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,932
Now, what did I do?
252
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:19,063
You're a man!
253
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:19,977
You bet!
254
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,370
And you're a woman.
255
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,503
Now, cut that out, Danny.
256
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,940
You-- you ought to be
ashamed of yourselves!
257
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:26,897
All right.
258
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,290
I'm ashamed of myself.
259
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:29,465
Now, do you want to
tell me why or should I
260
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,858
just take your word for it?
261
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:31,815
H-h-how dare you!
262
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,251
How dare I what?
263
00:08:33,381 --> 00:08:34,601
You know, it isn't as
if we ask for a medal
264
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,124
or anything like that.
265
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,169
We don't ask for anything,
just that you be glad!
266
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:39,039
OK, I'm glad.
267
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:39,953
I'm glad.
268
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:40,998
All right.
269
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,304
What'd you do to make so glad?
270
00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:43,347
Not me.
271
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:44,480
Bunny.
272
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,003
OK.
273
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:49,267
What did Bunny do that I'm
so glad that she did it?
274
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,355
Not you.
275
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:51,400
Charlie.
276
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,277
All right.
277
00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,584
What did Bunny do that
made Charlie so glad
278
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:06,023
that I'm so very glad that
Charlie's glad that Bunny did?
279
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,373
Don't try to put me off
by confusing the subject!
280
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,724
I'm confusing the subject?
281
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,726
I don't know it well enough
to confuse it if I wanted to.
282
00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:14,423
That poor woman.
283
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,425
Up night after night, making
formulas, changing diapers.
284
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,426
And after that period's over--
285
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,383
Then all of a sudden-- men!
286
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:19,559
You're a man!
287
00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,256
Then she's on the
teething period,
288
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:22,170
to be walking the floor, night
after night with the baby.
289
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:22,997
OK, I'm a man.
So what?
290
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:23,954
Big deal, I'm a man!
291
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:24,955
And what's Charlie doing?
292
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,304
What do you want me to do?
293
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:26,696
He's off to Acapulco,
going cha-cha-cha!
294
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:30,961
Do you mind saying that again?
295
00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:31,962
Cha-cha-cha!
296
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:33,398
Not that!
297
00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:35,009
Before that.
298
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:38,926
What was it about Bunny up
all night making formulas?
299
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:39,883
Is that what you said?
300
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,058
Mm, yes.
301
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:43,234
That's right.
302
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,801
Bunny's studying
to be a chemist?
303
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,895
No, she's going
to have a baby.
304
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,728
Bunny Halper?
305
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:01,122
No kid?
306
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:03,037
Oh, that's wonderful.
307
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,125
It's a miracle.
308
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,561
That is a miracle.
309
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,955
My buddy Charlie is
going to have a baby.
310
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,260
How about that?
311
00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:13,003
If he does, I'll sell tickets.
312
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:14,439
What?
313
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,572
It happens that Bunny
is having the baby.
314
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:19,488
Oh, what's the difference?
315
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,663
Didn't your
mother ever tell you
316
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,056
about the birds and the bees?
317
00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:23,666
What I'm trying to
say is that it's great.
318
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:26,756
Charlie Halper--
Charlie and Bunny and--
319
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:28,323
oh, wait a minute.
320
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,673
Wait, you got to be wrong.
321
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,544
Bunny can't possibly
be having a baby.
322
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:33,763
Why not?
323
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,417
Would Charlie make
all those cracks
324
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,027
about kids knowing his wife
is going to have a child?
325
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,420
Oh, well, he
doesn't know it yet.
326
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:39,682
She only found out
this afternoon,
327
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,118
and she's afraid to tell him.
328
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,598
Oh, men!
329
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,861
Will you please lay off
with that men routine?
330
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,776
I happen to be the
original child lover.
331
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,082
I have a ball with my kids.
332
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:49,213
What are you picking on me for?
333
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,214
Well, maybe you do.
334
00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:51,389
But Charlie, he's an idiot.
335
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,260
He doesn't know
what he's missing.
336
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:55,959
All right.
337
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:58,353
Let's show him
what he's missing.
338
00:10:58,483 --> 00:10:59,920
Honey?
- Hm?
339
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,269
What do you say we invite
them over for Sunday?
340
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:02,662
Spend the day with
us, let him see
341
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:03,880
how I get along with the kids.
342
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,316
Oh, Danny.
343
00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:06,753
He's seen you with the
kids a million times.
344
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,798
Yeah, but only for a
few minutes at a time.
345
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:11,409
He's never really spent
a whole day with us.
346
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:12,497
Let's invite them here.
347
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:13,542
We'll eat.
348
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,370
We'll-- we'll go into the park.
349
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,371
We'll play the piano.
350
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,068
We'll sing.
351
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:19,461
You'll see what fun it is
a father with his children.
352
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,941
Believe me, before
the day is over,
353
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,856
you'll be convinced
that having children
354
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,945
is a lot more satisfying
than all the vacations
355
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,599
in the world-- with all
the hot sun, and hot sand,
356
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,515
and the frijoles, and
Escondido Schwartz
357
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:31,691
thrown in for good measure.
358
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,133
Now, you get up here.
Sit down.
359
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,003
And you, listen.
360
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,701
Right after, we eat.
361
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,964
See, I come over to
the piano, I will sing
362
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,879
this lullaby for Uncle Charlie.
363
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,055
And then right after
the song, remember
364
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,099
what to say now, all right?
365
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:50,057
Here we go.
366
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:53,538
[lullaby playing]
367
00:11:55,192 --> 00:12:04,245
[SINGING] Lullaby and
goodnight, your daddy's delight.
368
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:18,172
Bright angels are near,
so sleep without fear.
369
00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:26,746
They will guard thee from
harm, through fair dreamland's
370
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,705
sweet charm.
371
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:38,845
They will guard thee from
harm through fair dreamland's
372
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:39,933
sweet charm.
373
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:51,292
Lullaby, lullaby, lullaby.
374
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:04,914
Now-- well, say your line.
375
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,046
- Oh!
- Yeah.
376
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:07,221
Um.
377
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:08,526
Oh, gee, Daddy.
378
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:09,876
I love you.
379
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,312
That's very good, Darling.
380
00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:12,356
Now, Rust?
381
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:13,662
Oh, do I have to say that?
382
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,186
Yeah, you have to say that.
383
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:17,709
All right.
384
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,147
Gee, when a father
sings like that,
385
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,192
it kind of gets
a kid right here.
386
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,893
I think maybe,
on second thought,
387
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:27,807
you better not say anything.
388
00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:28,720
Go help your mother.
389
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,374
Come over here.
390
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:31,375
Let me button you up.
391
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:32,550
Now, you look so disheveled.
392
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:33,508
I want you to look
your very nice.
393
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:34,988
You understand?
394
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,859
And above all, I want
you to be at your very,
395
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,252
very best behavior.
396
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:39,688
Now, turn around, let
me check your ears.
397
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,298
Why?
I don't behave in my ears.
398
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:43,213
Never mind.
399
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:46,303
I want you kids to be absolutely
perfect when Uncle Charlie is
400
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,914
here, because I want him
to see how wonderful it
401
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,263
is to have children.
- Why?
402
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:50,481
Are you thinking of
unloading us on him?
403
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:51,526
Oh, Rust.
404
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,618
Look, it's just that--
405
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:59,273
well, it's kind of
a special day, see.
406
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:02,537
And Aunt Bunny has a big
surprise for Uncle Charlie.
407
00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:03,451
Oh?
408
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,192
What's the surprise?
409
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:08,151
Well, if you must know,
she's going to give him a baby.
410
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,457
Wouldn't you rather
have a necktie?
411
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:10,501
Rust!
412
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:15,202
Rusty, will you get the smart
alecky quips out of your system
413
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,507
now?
414
00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:17,552
Because when Uncle
Charlie gets here,
415
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:18,988
we want you to be a living doll.
416
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,381
That's right, that's right.
417
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,035
And be extra good to--
oh, there they are.
418
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,123
You kids let them in.
419
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,515
Now, not a word
about the baby.
420
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:25,255
Oh, yeah, don't
mention the baby.
421
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:26,561
Not a word.
422
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:27,692
But make over Uncle
Charlie, you hear?
423
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,216
Make over him real good.
424
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:30,173
Did you tell Bunny what
we're going to try to do?
425
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,609
Yes, I did, Darling.
426
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,350
And she's so thrilled
and so grateful to you.
427
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:34,917
Not at all.
428
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,963
CHILDREN: Uncle Charlie!
429
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,834
It's so great
having Uncle Charlie!
430
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:42,229
[chattering]
431
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:46,494
Kids, show Uncle
Charlie to his chair.
432
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:47,582
All right.
433
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:48,539
Yeah, come on, Uncle Charlie.
434
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,071
Thank you.
435
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,638
That's what I call service.
436
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,118
Oh, Danny.
437
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:03,554
This is-- this is beautiful.
438
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:05,295
What is it, somebody's
birthday or something?
439
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,818
No, no.
440
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:09,952
This is regular
Sunday fair for us.
441
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,736
Family's always
together on Sunday.
442
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:14,565
We always have a
spread like this.
443
00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:17,481
It's a day when Daddy gets
to look at his children,
444
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:22,922
see their bright,
wonderful, shining faces.
445
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:26,708
I'm clean behind
the ears, too.
446
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,666
Yeah, it's cracks
like that, Charlie,
447
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:31,495
that come from your own
kid that sort of makes
448
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:34,063
you understand why you
were born, what a blessing
449
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,457
it is to have children.
450
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:37,719
It makes you know that--
451
00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,415
that all of your hard work is--
452
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:40,635
is not in vain.
453
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,858
Mm-- well, uh, Danny.
454
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,165
That's a beautiful,
lovely table, Kathy.
455
00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:50,036
It's gorgeous.
456
00:15:50,165 --> 00:15:51,428
Oh, thank you, Bunny.
457
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,865
I don't suppose
that, uh, you'd
458
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:57,478
bother spreading a table like
this for just the two of you?
459
00:15:57,608 --> 00:15:59,045
Well, of course not.
460
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,830
I mean, it's too much
bother for just two people.
461
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,136
Two, that's right.
462
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,137
Yeah.
463
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,834
Yeah, you know, Bunny, we--
464
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,662
I think maybe we have
been missing something
465
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,621
eating alone by ourselves.
466
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:13,755
Charlie, I-- I've been
thinking the same thing.
467
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:17,628
I think a man should
have a family to eat with.
468
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,674
You, uh, you really
think so, Charlie?
469
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,458
No, I mean that.
470
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:22,851
From now on, we'll
eat at my sister's.
471
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:28,813
Nine kids, it's a big table.
472
00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:30,772
Well, uh, shall
we get started?
473
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:31,991
Yes, yes, yes.
474
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,601
Here's your napkin,
Uncle Charlie.
475
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:34,819
Well, how do you like that?
476
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,038
Is-- isn't that sweet.
477
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,387
That is one--
thank you, Darling.
478
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,867
I tell you, Charlie, you--
479
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,130
you just don't know what
a thrill it is having
480
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:42,392
children around the house.
481
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:45,352
Well, we got a Cocker Spaniel.
482
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,876
And sometimes, to me, he
seems like my own child.
483
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,880
That's because of
the family resemblance.
484
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:52,750
Oh.
485
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,013
Oh, Rusty dear?
486
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:55,797
Yes?
487
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,886
Oh, would you like to pour the
tomato juice for us, Darling?
488
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:58,800
I'd love to, Mother dear.
489
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:00,932
Thank you.
490
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:01,803
Here you are, Dad.
491
00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:03,109
Thank you, Son.
492
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:04,632
How wonderful--
- Here you go.
493
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:05,546
Thank you-- wait!
494
00:17:05,675 --> 00:17:07,983
Oh!
495
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,680
Oh, I'm sorry!
496
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:12,378
Oh, I didn't mean to pour the
tomato juice all over you.
497
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:13,989
Gee, I'm terribly sorry, Dad.
498
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:15,556
I thought you had the
glass in your hand.
499
00:17:15,685 --> 00:17:17,558
I put the glass down
on the table, so he--
500
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:20,300
he was just trying to help.
501
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,605
It could happen to anybody.
502
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,215
Not for me.
503
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:27,307
I never let my Cocker
Spaniel serve tomato juice.
504
00:17:27,436 --> 00:17:29,091
I'm really,
terribly sorry, Daddy.
505
00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:30,440
I didn't mean to.
506
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,528
Would you pass me
the other napkin, Son?
507
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:32,442
All right, Dad.
Here.
508
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:33,313
Thank you.
509
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:35,445
Oh!
510
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:38,753
Oh, Daddy, I'm sorry.
511
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,711
It's all right, Son.
512
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,061
Look at you, just
trying to help.
513
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:43,018
It's all right.
514
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,237
I'm terribly sorry.
515
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,499
He helped, he helped.
516
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,022
First, he gave you
the tomato juice,
517
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,546
then he gave you the milk.
518
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:53,376
So I got the healthiest suit
in town, what do you want?
519
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,378
Uh, Linda--
520
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,380
Linda, would you come
and help me serve, Dear?
521
00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:58,642
Sure!
522
00:17:58,773 --> 00:17:59,687
And Rusty, go make
some more toast.
523
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:01,123
- Ow!
- Oh, Daddy!
524
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,517
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to step on your hand.
525
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,084
That's all right, Sweetie.
That's all right.
526
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:06,824
I'm sorry.
527
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:07,738
I-- I shouldn't have put my
hand where you were stepping.
528
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,175
It's all right.
529
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,306
You hurt the bottom
of your foot?
530
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,264
Oh.
531
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,743
It's done, Linda.
532
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,267
Help me serve this.
533
00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:16,747
Aren't they-- aren't
they considerate, Charlie?
534
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,445
Gives you a warm
feeling all over.
535
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:20,969
And on me, it gives
kind of a cold shoulder.
536
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,623
Oh, Charlie.
537
00:18:22,753 --> 00:18:24,625
I think Danny and Kathy are
very lucky people to have
538
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,061
two such helpful children.
539
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:27,628
- That's right.
- Maybe.
540
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,020
But I should think,
if they wanted help,
541
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,892
it would be safer to
hire them, you know.
542
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,241
Oh, Charlie.
543
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:35,114
Linda, give that
one to Daddy, please.
544
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:36,767
How's the toast coming, Rust?
545
00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:38,987
Oh, it'll be up
in a second, Ma.
546
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:39,944
What?
547
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:40,989
Did you see that?
548
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,382
The toast jumped right up there!
549
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:43,426
Ahh!
550
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:49,867
[sobbing]
551
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,137
Gin!
552
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,182
Oh, I didn't mean to
throw that card away, Ka--
553
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,837
oh, I guess I just
wasn't concentrating.
554
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:03,794
Oh, Bunny.
555
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,579
Come on, stop worrying.
556
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,536
Oh.
557
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:07,798
Danny's right.
558
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,235
It'll be much different
out in the park.
559
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:10,453
They'll have fun, you'll see.
560
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:11,367
Oh, Kathy.
561
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:12,455
That's what you think.
562
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:14,153
No, no, really.
563
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,502
They'll be singing a different
tune when they come back.
564
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:18,331
They will have had
a barrel of fun.
565
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,201
Oh, boy--
566
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,289
Boy, we had fun.
567
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,596
I mean, we had a
ball, didn't we?
568
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:23,771
That was great!
569
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:24,728
That was fun!
570
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:25,599
Oh, that was marvelous!
571
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:26,774
Oh, will you come on?
572
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:38,133
Charlie!
573
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,483
What-- what happened?
574
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:43,007
We were playing Follow
the Leader with the kids.
575
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:46,968
And I got stuck
in a jungle gym.
576
00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:48,665
Charlie, you
should know better
577
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:52,321
than to play in a jungle gym,
a man of your size and age.
578
00:19:52,452 --> 00:19:54,062
That's what the
playground director said--
579
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,239
only, he used different words.
580
00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:58,632
What are you beating about?
581
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:00,242
Linda pulled you
out, didn't she?
582
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:03,071
But did she have to
pull me by my ears?
583
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,595
Well, I wasn't going
to pull you by the feet.
584
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:09,425
When Daddy tried it, you
kicked him in the face.
585
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:10,470
Well, I didn't mean to.
586
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,036
He kept twisting my ankle.
587
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:13,081
I had to twist your ankle.
588
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,125
I couldn't hold by the shoe.
589
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,040
It was all wet.
590
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:17,607
Your shoe was wet?
591
00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:18,956
Naturally.
592
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:22,046
It got wet when the
rowboat turned over.
593
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,353
Well, how did the
rowboat turn over?
594
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:25,659
Ask him!
595
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:28,227
Rusty, did you tip
over the rowboat?
596
00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:29,837
Well, I didn't mean to.
597
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,056
I just stood up to show Daddy
how Uncle Charlie almost
598
00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:34,624
fell on the alligator pit.
599
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,017
Alligator pit?
600
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:37,758
You almost fell in
the alligator pit?
601
00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:38,846
What fell?
602
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:40,369
I was trying to escape into it.
603
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,810
I still say there should
be kennels for kids.
604
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:51,554
Go-- go on to your rooms and
get out of those wet clothes.
605
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,164
Oh, I tell you, I
don't deserve that.
606
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,340
I didn't-- but I got up.
607
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,950
I-- I was minding
my own business.
608
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,430
All of a sudden, I'm--
609
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,475
I'm swimming for my life
to Central Park Lake.
610
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:02,478
And I almost became a blue
plate special for an alligator.
611
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:06,830
Look, Charlie,
it's all my fault.
612
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,354
I planned this whole thing.
613
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:09,268
Huh?
614
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:10,312
It was a plot.
615
00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:11,792
A plot to drown me?
616
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:13,489
No.
617
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,535
It's a plot to show
you how wonderful
618
00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:19,234
it is to be a father, how great
it is to be around children.
619
00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:20,322
But the whole thing backfired.
620
00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:21,715
Yeah.
621
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,412
Truth of the matter
is, children are people.
622
00:21:23,543 --> 00:21:25,501
And like people, sometimes,
they're a pain in the neck,
623
00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:26,937
and other times,
they're a blessing.
624
00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:28,417
That's right, Charlie.
625
00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,637
What matters is that--
that they belong to you,
626
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:32,073
and you belong to them.
627
00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:33,814
And-- and that they love
you, and you love them.
628
00:21:33,944 --> 00:21:35,250
That's right.
629
00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:36,556
Look, it's something
that can't be explained.
630
00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:37,426
You have to--
631
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:38,732
OK, stop it.
632
00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:41,909
Just stop it, both
of you, this minute.
633
00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:44,651
Now, who does this little weasel
think that he is that-- that we
634
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,305
all have to get
together and prove
635
00:21:46,435 --> 00:21:48,394
that kids belong on this Earth.
636
00:21:48,524 --> 00:21:49,960
Well, if he doesn't
know what it--
637
00:21:50,091 --> 00:21:52,485
what it feels like to have
kids and-- and-- and how
638
00:21:52,615 --> 00:21:53,921
important it is, well--
639
00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:56,315
well, that's his
problem, not ours.
640
00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:58,012
But what-- what, with
this very minute,
641
00:21:58,142 --> 00:22:01,276
he should be apologizing to
us, not the other way around.
642
00:22:01,407 --> 00:22:03,409
And-- and-- then
after our baby comes,
643
00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:05,324
if-- if-- if you want
to go out to Acapulco
644
00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:10,720
and-- and then cha-cha-cha,
well, good luck to you!
645
00:22:10,851 --> 00:22:11,939
B-b-baby?
646
00:22:12,069 --> 00:22:12,983
What-- what baby?
647
00:22:13,114 --> 00:22:13,897
Where-- where baby?
648
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,551
Where?
649
00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:16,857
Who-- whose baby?
650
00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:19,207
Ours baby, that's whose baby!
651
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,730
Enough!
652
00:22:20,861 --> 00:22:22,341
Wait, B-- o-o-our baby--
wait a minute, you mean?
653
00:22:22,471 --> 00:22:23,385
What?
654
00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:24,560
You mean, we're going to have--
655
00:22:24,691 --> 00:22:25,518
That's right.
656
00:22:25,648 --> 00:22:26,562
Oh, Bunny.
657
00:22:26,693 --> 00:22:27,476
Hey, Danny, did you hear that?
658
00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:30,349
B-- Kathy?
659
00:22:30,479 --> 00:22:33,003
Bunny, I think that's--
that's won-- that's wonderful.
660
00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:34,353
Thank you.
Thank you.
661
00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:35,658
What are you standing up for?
662
00:22:38,487 --> 00:22:40,837
Why-- why didn't you tell me?
663
00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:42,752
Well, Charlie, all week, you
were saying with the-- with
664
00:22:42,883 --> 00:22:44,188
the kids, they're pest.
665
00:22:44,319 --> 00:22:45,233
Put them in the kennel
with the bones, and--
666
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:46,756
That was-- that
was because I--
667
00:22:46,887 --> 00:22:48,584
I-- I thought that you and
I could never have them.
668
00:22:48,715 --> 00:22:50,673
And I-- I didn't want you
to feel bad, like you were
669
00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:52,414
letting me down or something.
670
00:22:52,545 --> 00:22:54,460
Well, you mean
you really want one?
671
00:22:54,590 --> 00:22:55,765
Want one?
672
00:22:55,896 --> 00:22:57,898
More than anything
in the whole world!
673
00:22:58,028 --> 00:23:00,640
Well, you mean you're--
you're really happy
674
00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:02,468
we're going to have a baby?
675
00:23:02,598 --> 00:23:04,208
Are you kidding?
676
00:23:04,339 --> 00:23:06,297
Honey, why do you think
I come here so often?
677
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:07,386
To see Danny?
678
00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:09,475
Him, I could see at the club.
679
00:23:09,605 --> 00:23:12,826
But the kids-- the kids,
every time I leave here, I--
680
00:23:12,956 --> 00:23:14,480
I die a little from envy.
681
00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:18,309
But now-- but now, now,
you, oh, son of a gun,
682
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,182
I'm going to have
a kid of my own.
683
00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:23,271
How-- how do you like that, eh?
684
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,708
Me, Charlie Halper,
after all these years,
685
00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:27,362
I'm going to be a father!
686
00:23:27,493 --> 00:23:28,494
I'm going to be a father?
687
00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:34,064
I'm-- I'll see you later.
688
00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:47,034
[SINGING] When the bough
breaks, the cradle will fall.
689
00:23:47,164 --> 00:23:49,515
When the bough--
690
00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:51,125
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Shh!
691
00:23:51,255 --> 00:23:52,256
The baby's asleep.
692
00:23:53,127 --> 00:23:54,563
Baby's asleep, huh?
693
00:23:54,694 --> 00:23:56,870
OK.
694
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,002
You're playing baby, huh.
695
00:23:59,133 --> 00:24:00,743
Yeah.
696
00:24:00,874 --> 00:24:03,050
Well, Uncle Charlie was afraid
that taking care of a baby
697
00:24:03,180 --> 00:24:04,051
was a lot of trouble.
698
00:24:04,181 --> 00:24:05,618
Uh-huh.
699
00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:07,446
I just want to prove that
it can be a lot of fun.
700
00:24:07,576 --> 00:24:09,317
Now, how can you
prove to Uncle Charlie
701
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:11,058
that it's a lot of fun?
702
00:24:11,188 --> 00:24:12,494
She's proving, she's proving!
703
00:24:27,248 --> 00:24:30,556
[theme music playing]
48618
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