All language subtitles for The.Danny.Thomas.Show.S09E11.Keeping.Up.with.the.Joneses.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:12,838 [THEME MUSIC - "THE LONDONDERRY AIR"] 2 00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:31,118 [singing] My baby don't care for shows, 3 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:36,036 my baby don't care for clothes, my baby just cares for me. 4 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:44,044 My baby don't care for high tone places, 5 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:49,310 my baby don't care for furs and laces. 6 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:54,880 My baby don't care for rings, or other expensive things, 7 00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:57,100 as sensible as can be. 8 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:07,632 My baby don't care who knows it, my baby just cares for me. 9 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,724 Your baby don't care for clothes, 10 00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:17,773 or fancy silk and hose, your baby to your nose. 11 00:01:17,902 --> 00:01:20,515 [laughs] 12 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:25,737 Your baby don't care for furs and laces, 13 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:30,045 your baby don't care for high tone places. 14 00:01:30,176 --> 00:01:31,352 Cute. 15 00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,702 [singing] My baby don't care for rings 16 00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:41,144 or other expensive things, she's sensible as can be. 17 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:45,017 My baby don't care who knows it-- 18 00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:49,196 hear, now-- my baby's one of those mims 19 00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:54,505 who doesn't need priceless gems, my baby just cares for me. 20 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:06,604 [applause] 21 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:08,345 Baby, isn't that a cute number? 22 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:09,781 Oh, I've always loved it, darling. 23 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,261 Yeah, they ought to do it at the club sometime. 24 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:12,784 Let the boys do an arrangement on it, you know? 25 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:13,655 Yeah. 26 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:14,699 [doorbell rings] 27 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:16,440 Who's that? 28 00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:17,876 I don't know. 29 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:18,877 Hey! 30 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:19,835 Bunny, Charlie, how are you? 31 00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:20,749 Hi, Kathy! How are you? 32 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:21,706 What a surprise. 33 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:22,838 Listen, we can't stay. 34 00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,753 We just kind of stopped over. 35 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:26,233 I wanted to show you something. 36 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,539 You notice anything dangling on the earlobes? 37 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,672 Bunny, Bunny, you've got some beautiful new earrings! 38 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:31,629 Uh-huh! 39 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:32,761 Oh, they're beautiful! 40 00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:33,978 Where did you get them? 41 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:37,635 My Darling hubby gave them to me. 42 00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:38,897 Is that so? 43 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,683 The last of the big spenders, hey? 44 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:42,597 What was it, your birthday? 45 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,120 What's the occasion? 46 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,296 Well, it's no occasion, that's the beautiful part. 47 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:49,038 My darling hubby just decided he wanted to give me 48 00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,258 an expensive gift, and he went down 49 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,302 to Maurice's, and got me one! 50 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:53,173 Maurice's. 51 00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:55,349 [growling] Oh, oh! 52 00:02:55,478 --> 00:03:00,615 [giggling] 53 00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,399 It was-- It was nothing, really. 54 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,184 Believe me. 55 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:06,882 Just an exquisite little creation in gold and pearls. 56 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,667 [squeals] Oh, how about that man! 57 00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:13,715 [growls] [kissing] You're so cute, I could just bite you. 58 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,543 - I know, but I-- - But we don't have time, dear. 59 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:16,413 Let's go. 60 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,501 Wait, wait, wait. 61 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:18,937 What's the rush? 62 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,374 Well, honey, we have to go visit my mother. 63 00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:21,418 Yeah. 64 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:24,378 And every little delay helps. 65 00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:25,422 Aw, do you really have to go? 66 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:26,858 Oh, we do. 67 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,120 But listen, I just had to stop over and kind 68 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,296 of show off my ear baubles. 69 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,253 You know mind, do you? 70 00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:31,689 Oh, I'm so glad you did. 71 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,561 They're really exquisite, Bunny. 72 00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:34,953 Thank you, Kathy. Well, honey, come on. 73 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,128 We better hurry, mother's waiting, 74 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,391 and it's a long ride to Brooklyn. 75 00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,175 Yeah. 76 00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:41,525 Well, maybe we'll be lucky, and the bridge will be washed out. 77 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:44,093 Oh, isn't he a hoot? 78 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,790 You see, Danny, that's the beauty 79 00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,401 of giving your wife a present. 80 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,881 Two mother-in-law jokes in a row, and not a scratch. 81 00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,143 Yes, dear, but don't press your luck. 82 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:52,928 Come on, let's go. - So long. 83 00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:54,451 Don't forget, tomorrow we got a theater date. 84 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:55,365 - See you later. - Bye. 85 00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:56,497 - 8:30 curtain. - Right. 86 00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,802 [door bangs] 87 00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,716 That's some couple, huh? 88 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,242 How about that Charlie? 89 00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:03,721 I never thought I'd live to see the day 90 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:06,637 when he'd part with money for no reason at all. 91 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:10,946 Well, honey don't let it bother you. 92 00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:12,556 Don't let what bother me? 93 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:15,690 Charlie's thoughtfulness and generosity. 94 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:16,995 Why should that bother me? 95 00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:18,127 Well, no reason at all, darling. 96 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:19,868 That's my point. - Huh? 97 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:23,785 Maybe Bunny needs expensive gifts to make her feel loved, 98 00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,700 but I don't need that sort of thing. 99 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,702 Oh, I feel perfectly secure. 100 00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:28,616 [smack] 101 00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:30,444 Huh? 102 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:31,967 Even though you haven't bought me a piece of jewelry in years. 103 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,538 Honey, was-- was there something special you wanted, 104 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:38,800 dear? 105 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:41,629 Oh, honey, all I want is your love. 106 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:46,329 And I know I've got that, no matter what other people think. 107 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,947 Uh-- uh, other people. 108 00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,775 Somebody say something, eh? 109 00:04:57,906 --> 00:05:00,952 Oh, it wouldn't matter if they did. 110 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,433 You wouldn't, by chance, be trying to tell 111 00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,305 me something, would you? 112 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:07,045 I'm just trying to tell you that I 113 00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:11,354 am not envious because Charlie showers his wife with gifts. 114 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:14,270 I mean, jewels are just a-- a status symbol. 115 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,664 A way of saying, I'm a successful man, 116 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:19,536 and I want to share my success with my wife, 117 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,408 to show that I love her. 118 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,888 Oh, but honey, I don't need anything like that. 119 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,021 I'm fine, really! 120 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,979 I don't care what people say. 121 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,242 I know you love me. 122 00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:34,943 [zany music playing] 123 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:35,857 Come on, honey. 124 00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,119 We're going to be late. 125 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:38,033 KATHY: Darling? 126 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:38,990 Yes, dear? 127 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,078 Would you hook me up? 128 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,950 Oh, for heaven's sake's. 129 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,519 Why don't you women buy dresses you can get into by yourselves? 130 00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,564 You know, it's always been a mystery to me. 131 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:51,351 How does a single girl get dressed? 132 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:54,310 Keep it a mystery, dear. 133 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,398 Wait, I'm not finished yet. 134 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:56,659 I'm not quite finished yet. 135 00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,096 If you'll just hold still, please. 136 00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:58,967 Just hold still. 137 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,185 Honey, what's that? 138 00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:01,099 What is it? - Well, you'll see-- 139 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:01,926 What have you got there? 140 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,058 --in just a second. 141 00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:04,059 Darling, let me see. 142 00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:04,929 As soon as I can fix it. 143 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:05,887 What-- what is it? 144 00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:06,844 Ah! 145 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,455 I've got to look! 146 00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:09,717 Let me see. 147 00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:12,894 Oh, honey, they're beautiful! 148 00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,505 Oh, you doll! 149 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:16,941 Oh, wait until Bunny sees these. 150 00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:18,290 [chuckles] 151 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:19,553 Oh, weren't they terribly expensive? 152 00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,076 Yeah. 153 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,904 But I wasn't planning on eating this week, anyway. 154 00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,996 Oh, Danny, I just can't let you do it. 155 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,128 You've got to take them back, you've got to take them back. 156 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,652 Oh, don't be silly. 157 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:33,349 No, darling, I can't let you be that extravagant. 158 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,219 All right. 159 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,307 I'll take them back. 160 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:36,657 Over my dead body! 161 00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:40,922 Oh, you phony, you. [chuckles] 162 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:41,836 [doorbell chimes] 163 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,098 Oh, darling, listen. 164 00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:45,361 Don't say anything to Bunny, just see 165 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,928 if she notices the necklace. 166 00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:47,929 OK. 167 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,150 - Hiya Kids. - Hiya, Dan. 168 00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:53,021 Kathy! 169 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:54,065 A new necklace! 170 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,469 Kathy, it is just gorgeous. 171 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,166 Isn't it beautiful? 172 00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:10,952 And such a surprise, Danny just up and bought it for me! 173 00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:11,822 You weren't expecting it? 174 00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,737 Not in a million years! 175 00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:14,912 Well, what's the occasion? 176 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:15,957 It's Wednesday. 177 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,395 Huh? 178 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,441 Look, I love my wife, and I want 179 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,181 to buy her a gift on Wednesday. 180 00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,269 Is there any crime against that? 181 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,662 Hey, look, it's 8:30. 182 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,664 It's getting late, let's go, shall we? 183 00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,971 Oh, gee, Kathy, you're so lucky! 184 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,800 Oh, Bunny, we're both lucky to have such wonderful, generous 185 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:33,714 husbands. 186 00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,150 True. 187 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,282 My husband gave me this extravagant, expensive, 188 00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,589 beautiful necklace, and your husband gave 189 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,592 you those cute little earrings. 190 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:48,859 [music playing] 191 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,687 DANNY: Oh, boy, funny! 192 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,036 What a show, huh? 193 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,734 I tell you, Bunny, was that a funny show? 194 00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,170 Was that the funniest show of the year? 195 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,302 That scene where we held hands with a chimpanzee. 196 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,695 Screams! 197 00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:01,263 Oh, wasn't that the funniest chimpanzee you 198 00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:02,786 have ever seen in your life? 199 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,919 Charlie, how much do you think her necklace cost? 200 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,141 The chimpanzee wore a necklace? 201 00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:11,229 No. 202 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,927 I-- I mean, Kathy's necklace. 203 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,581 How did that get into the conversation? 204 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,321 Well, I was-- 205 00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:19,020 I was just thinking, my cute little earrings didn't cost as 206 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,935 much as her gorgeous necklace. 207 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,457 Why should they? 208 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:26,114 Your cute little ears are smaller than her neck. 209 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,159 Oh, I just think it's kind of funny. 210 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,030 What's funny? 211 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,074 What-- what? 212 00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,337 Well, Danny works for you. 213 00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:36,602 You're the employer and he's the employee. 214 00:08:36,732 --> 00:08:40,693 So I'm an-- an er and he's an e, so what? 215 00:08:40,823 --> 00:08:42,783 Well, don't you think it's kind of funny 216 00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:45,220 that an employee can buy his wife a more 217 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:48,440 expensive gift and an employer? 218 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:53,271 Oh, the bulb lights up! 219 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:54,664 Don't you think it's funny? 220 00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:56,231 I don't think it's funny because I think 221 00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:57,754 it's going to cost me money. 222 00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,582 And that which costs me money, ain't going to make 223 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:01,279 me double up with laughter. 224 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,064 Pain maybe, but not laughter. 225 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,892 Charles Sylvester Halper, are you 226 00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,720 suggesting that I am suggesting that you 227 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,417 buy me a more expensive gift than Danny bought Kathy? 228 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,027 No. 229 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,159 But if you are suggesting that I am suggesting that, 230 00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:12,900 you don't suggest it. 231 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:14,815 Well, it just seems to me, if I were 232 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,164 an important nightclub owner-- whose 233 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:17,861 wife was in the public eye-- 234 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:21,082 I-- well, I'd just want her to look her very best. 235 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,692 You know something, you're absolutely right! 236 00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,476 I mean like you say, we're in the public eye. 237 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:25,956 I want you to look your very best. 238 00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:27,131 Oh, Charlie! You mean it? 239 00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:28,785 Uh-huh. 240 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,308 And for a starter, in the morning you'll join a gym, 241 00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,701 and take off about four inches around the diameter. 242 00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:36,880 Bunny, sweetheart! 243 00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,708 Money doesn't grow on trees. 244 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:39,927 I work hard! 245 00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,493 I mean, blood, sweat, and tears. 246 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,017 I'm not going to throw it away on foolishness, 247 00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:44,845 and another hunk of jewelry is foolishness. 248 00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,368 I'm not going to stand here and argue with you-- 249 00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:47,630 You're absolutely right, dear. 250 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:48,675 --because I know I have felt-- huh? 251 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:50,198 I'm right? - Mm-hmm. 252 00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:51,982 You are right, honey. 253 00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,288 You do work hard for your money, and if you're going to spend 254 00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:54,811 it, it shouldn't be on me. 255 00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,770 Well, it should be on us. 256 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,033 I mean, it should be something we can both share. 257 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:02,602 Like-- well, maybe something for our home. 258 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:03,820 Well, now you're talking sensible. 259 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:04,734 I'll go for that. 260 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,170 Well, now, maybe-- 261 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:08,303 maybe we could redecorate the guest room. 262 00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:09,609 The guest room? Yeah. 263 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,175 Yeah, that makes sense. 264 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,613 And I think my mother would like it done in pink. 265 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:18,356 Well, pink is a nice color, especially-- your mother? 266 00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,837 How did your mother get into this conversation? 267 00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,970 Oh, darling, she'll practically be living with us 268 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,580 now that we're going to fix up the guest room, 269 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,538 and not spend the money on something foolish. 270 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,633 The uh-- first thing in the morning, I'll spend it 271 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,417 on some nice, sensible jewelry. 272 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:45,470 [upbeat music playing] 273 00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:48,082 Well, Mr. Halper, how nice to see you again. 274 00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:49,910 And what are you looking for this time? 275 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,173 Trouble. 276 00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:55,263 Say, Maurice, did Danny Williams by a necklace here? 277 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,568 Why, yes! 278 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:57,439 You wanted something like it? - No. 279 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,701 Something better. 280 00:10:58,832 --> 00:10:59,746 Something better? 281 00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:00,703 Yeah. 282 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:01,573 Something that costs more. 283 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,184 Well, of course! 284 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:05,708 Just step right this way. 285 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:09,146 We have something lovely, that just came in. 286 00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:10,234 There we are. 287 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:11,279 Yeah. 288 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:12,367 She's very nice. Very nice. 289 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:13,411 Where's the price? 290 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:14,804 Oh, right there, on the tag. 291 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,023 Well this is something like I had in mind. 292 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:20,549 This is the price? 293 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,724 Yes. 294 00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:22,943 Looks more like my license plate. 295 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,339 Well, of course, if you were joking about wanting something 296 00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:29,863 better than Mr. Williams bought, I do 297 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,604 have several modest items here. 298 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,302 Of course, they're not of the same class. 299 00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:35,520 No, no, no, no, no. 300 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,522 I'll-- I'll take this one. 301 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:41,004 Just wrap it up, and find me a place to faint. 302 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,225 [musical tone] 303 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:45,487 What have you got in bracelets? 304 00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:46,793 Ah! Bracelets, of course! 305 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:47,837 Of course! 306 00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,621 And what is our price bracket? 307 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,711 Our price bracket is anything higher than Mr. Halper's price 308 00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:52,842 bracket. 309 00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:54,539 Well, good, good! 310 00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:57,978 Tell me, are you and he having some kind of little game? 311 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:58,892 Yeah. 312 00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,198 It's a game. 313 00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:05,376 It's a game, but I'm not having any fun. 314 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:08,945 Oh, but I am! 315 00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:10,120 [zany musical tone] 316 00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,774 Yeah, that's right, a bracelet. 317 00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:13,123 But not like the one Danny bought, one that's a little 318 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:14,516 more expensive, you understand? - Oh, I do. 319 00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:15,256 Yes, I do. I do, yes. 320 00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:16,736 Yeah. 321 00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:17,693 I want it-- I want it to be bigger and heavier. 322 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:18,389 Bigger, yes. Heavier-- 323 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,087 Heavy, heavy! 324 00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,044 So when my wife puts it on, she should walk like this, 325 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:24,569 you know? 326 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,310 I'll show that guy that I love my wife 327 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:27,529 more than he loves his wife! 328 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:30,837 Oh, I love them both. 329 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,360 [musical zap] 330 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,101 This is one of our most eloquent pieces. 331 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,058 OK. 332 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,757 Wrap it up. 333 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,019 Don't you want to look at the price? 334 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,498 If I look at the price, I'll cry. 335 00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:43,414 Yes, wrap it up. 336 00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:44,981 Yes, sir. 337 00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,896 My, I do like doing business with you Mr. Halper. 338 00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,376 If we had more like you, we wouldn't have 339 00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:49,507 to worry about the recession. 340 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,118 Excuse me. 341 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,467 May I see some of your medium-priced watches, please? 342 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:53,337 Oh, yes. 343 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,338 Right over there. 344 00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:57,211 I'll be with you shortly. 345 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,995 Uh-huh, I thought you'd be here! 346 00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,388 You just won't let up, will you? 347 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,955 I won't let up? 348 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,391 You started this whole thing, you little weasel! 349 00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:04,261 Me? 350 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,002 Yeah, you! 351 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,482 What did you want to go and buy your wife those earrings 352 00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:09,092 for no reason at all? 353 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,659 Why'd you want to go hang earrings on her for? 354 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,703 I would have done better if I'd 355 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:12,792 hung something on her mouth. 356 00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,317 This is awful. 357 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,884 You realize those two conniving females 358 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:20,538 have us in a buying contest? 359 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,323 Why don't we wise up, and stop this nonsense? 360 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:23,628 You're right. 361 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:24,716 We'll quit this nonsense and go home. 362 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,240 Right. Let's go. 363 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:29,939 After I buy one last hunk of jewelry for Bunny. 364 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,854 Why do you want to buy a jewelry for Bunny? 365 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:35,336 So I can quit the winner. 366 00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:36,337 I'm sorry, Charlie. 367 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:37,381 I can't let you quit winner. 368 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,122 Why? 369 00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,863 Because my wife will make my life miserable, that's why. 370 00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,952 Every time she sees a new piece of jewelry that your wife gets, 371 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:44,171 she starts acting like a martyr. 372 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,433 A martyr? 373 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,914 Joan of Arc walking to the stake! 374 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,567 You should holler! 375 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,047 Bunny keeps hitting me over the head with her mother. 376 00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:55,095 I would rather she used the club with nails on it. 377 00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:57,271 They're not going to be satisfied until they break us. 378 00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:58,359 Yeah. 379 00:13:58,489 --> 00:13:59,360 Maybe then they'll be satisfied. 380 00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:00,361 Yeah. 381 00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:01,492 Then they'll be satisfied. 382 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:02,406 Hey. 383 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:03,799 What? 384 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:04,887 Let's satisfy them. 385 00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:05,975 How? 386 00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:07,716 - Let's go for broke! - What? 387 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,326 We've been buying them pins, and earrings, and bracelets, 388 00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:10,240 and stuff like that. 389 00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:11,459 Let's step up in class. 390 00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:12,590 Let's get them some real diamonds. 391 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:13,461 - Diamonds? - Yeah! 392 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:14,505 Heavy diamonds. 393 00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:15,593 And furs, too! 394 00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:16,768 - Diamonds and furs? - Right. 395 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:17,726 Diamonds and furs. 396 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:18,988 Danny, don't make jokes. 397 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:21,991 I mean, especially sick ones! 398 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,688 I'm not making jokes. 399 00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:25,865 I mean, I want them to be dripping in diamonds and furs. 400 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,562 Danny, let us get out of here. 401 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:31,914 Because from the jewels shining on you, you got sunstroke. 402 00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,785 Didn't we say there's nothing too good for our wives? 403 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,004 Right! 404 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:35,483 That's what will give them, nothing! 405 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:36,179 No. 406 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,966 Danny, I thought you wanted to quit. 407 00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,142 Of course I want to quit, but I want them to ask us to quit. 408 00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:44,579 Oh, by giving them diamonds and furs they're going to quit? 409 00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,363 We're going to teach them a lesson. 410 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:48,713 We'll teach them a lesson, and we got to pay for the tuition? 411 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:51,107 Will you listen to me? 412 00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,022 Let me explain it to you. 413 00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:55,111 You're not so bright, you know? 414 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:59,072 Look how do we get the diamonds in the furs, all the jewelry 415 00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:00,943 and things we need when we put on a big production number 416 00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,511 at the club, where do we get the stuff? 417 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,165 Well, the furs we rent from Lipsey. 418 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:06,557 Right. 419 00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,124 And the diamonds we rent from Maurice, here. 420 00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,170 Who-- oh, Danny! 421 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,388 Danny! 422 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:14,043 [chuckles] Oh, this is beautiful. 423 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:15,740 I know what you mean. 424 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,133 You mean, we're going to rent the stuff, and not buy it. 425 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,482 Certainly. 426 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,136 We'll rent it, and we'll make them think 427 00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:22,399 that we're going in hock, see? 428 00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,053 Then, they'll beg us to take them back. 429 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,620 They'll beg us to take everything back. 430 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,883 Oh, Danny, what a brain, what a brain! 431 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,232 It even puts your nose to shame! 432 00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:31,887 I mean-- 433 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,323 Here you are, Mr. Williams. 434 00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:34,629 Hello, again, Mr. Halper. 435 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,283 Hi, there. 436 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,546 I have just told Mr Williams the most beautiful pin. 437 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,330 Are you sure you wouldn't be interested in seeing one. 438 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,549 Nah, Maurice. 439 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:42,898 I've changed my mind about the pin. 440 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:43,333 I'm not going to take it. - You're not? 441 00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:44,552 No. 442 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:45,596 I'd like to see the finest diamond 443 00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:46,249 ring you've got in the place. 444 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:46,815 A diamond! 445 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,338 Oh, yes. 446 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,514 Well, right here right here. 447 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:51,515 There we are. 448 00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:54,214 Now, that is only $10,000. 449 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,955 Gee, I'll take it. 450 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:56,825 You will? 451 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:57,739 Mm-Hmm. 452 00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:59,915 I'll take one, too. 453 00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:00,829 Both of you? 454 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,178 Right. 455 00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,832 CUSTOMER: Sir, the price here says 79.95. 456 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,225 Does that include the sales tax? 457 00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:06,574 Oh, stop pestering me! 458 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:07,705 Can't you see I'm busy? 459 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,845 If you want to buy a cheap watch, 460 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,849 you need to go out and get a-- find a pushcart somewhere. 461 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,720 You know, that's the trouble with having 462 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:23,895 a store so near the street. 463 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:27,551 People keep coming in. 464 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,510 Now, let me see, I'll just uh-- make out the charges, here. 465 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:30,511 No, no, no, no! 466 00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:31,512 Maurice, don't charge it. 467 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:32,295 We're not going to buy them. 468 00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:33,340 What? 469 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,167 We just want to rent them. 470 00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:35,342 Yeah. 471 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:36,691 The same deal we have for the club. 472 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:37,779 That's right. [mysterious music playing] 473 00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:38,649 Oh, sir? 474 00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,129 Sir! 475 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,130 Sir! 476 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:45,787 Kathy. 477 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:46,701 [door slams] 478 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:47,789 Hey, Irish? 479 00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:49,008 KATHY: Hi, sweetheart. 480 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:49,965 Hello, baby. 481 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:50,879 Wow! 482 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,011 We did it today, honey. 483 00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,403 Did what? 484 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:54,796 Oh, today, it'll go down in history, honey. 485 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,667 This is the day that Danny Williams proved 486 00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:59,496 to the whole world that he loves his wife more than Charlie 487 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:00,671 Halper loves his wife. 488 00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,369 What are you talking about? 489 00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:03,718 Close your beautiful mouth, and open those emerald eyes, 490 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:04,632 kid. 491 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,329 Take a gander at that. 492 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,069 Neat, but not gaudy, eh? 493 00:17:08,201 --> 00:17:08,940 What is it? 494 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,203 What is it. 495 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,117 [chuckles] It's a ten carat diamond. 496 00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,467 Oh, no! Come on, seriously. 497 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:14,729 What is it? 498 00:17:14,858 --> 00:17:16,470 Seriously, it's a 10 carat diamond. 499 00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:17,949 Let me see Charlie match that! 500 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,082 Oh, honey, that can be real. 501 00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:22,171 If it were, it would cost over something like-- 502 00:17:22,301 --> 00:17:23,346 $10,000. 503 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,826 And it's all yours, baby! 504 00:17:24,955 --> 00:17:26,262 All yours. - You mean-- you mean-- 505 00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:27,133 Give me that pretty little finger. 506 00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:27,959 --you mean, it's real? 507 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:28,830 Absolutely. 508 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:29,961 There you are. 509 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,354 Danny. 510 00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:32,573 Danny, where did you get that kind of money? 511 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:33,835 Well honey, you know those bonds 512 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,402 we were saving for our old age? 513 00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:36,403 I cashed them in. 514 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,321 You-- you-- you-- you cashed them in? 515 00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,105 Sure. 516 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,324 They were just gathering dust in that vault anyway, honey. 517 00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:45,586 How about that? Isn't that beautiful? 518 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:46,674 You-- you-- you cashed in on our bonds? 519 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:47,849 Well, sure, sweetheart. 520 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,242 What do we care about our old age? 521 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:50,634 The important thing is that you're happy now. 522 00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:52,071 Take a look at that. Isn't that something? 523 00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:53,550 [chuckles] Kinda blinds you, doesn't it? 524 00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,987 [whimpering] What? 525 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,425 [whispering] Cashed in our bonds. 526 00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:01,341 [whimpering] 527 00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:02,907 Bunny, it's a beautiful thing! 528 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,344 It's 10 carats! 529 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,997 I mean, so what's the difference if I cashed 530 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,695 in our life insurance policy? 531 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,653 I mean, after all, nobody lives forever. 532 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:12,178 The important thing is, you should be happy now. 533 00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:13,353 Bunny, will you look at it? 534 00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:14,963 Will you at least just look at it? 535 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:21,187 [zany music playing] 536 00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,463 Hi, dad. 537 00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,204 Ah! 538 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:39,118 You scared me! 539 00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:40,206 Hi, Daddy. 540 00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:41,294 What's in the box? - Oh, Hi. 541 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:42,251 It's a little surprise. Come on. 542 00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:43,296 Another present for mom. 543 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:44,775 That's right. 544 00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,386 Where is she? 545 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:48,997 She's up in a room recovering from the last one. 546 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,390 What is it? 547 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,608 A coat. 548 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,132 But she's already got a coat. 549 00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:54,350 Not one like this, she hasn't. [paper crinkling] 550 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,264 What is it? 551 00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:58,702 Genuine white sable. 552 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,008 White sable? 553 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,444 Yep. 554 00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:02,880 Gee, I bet that costs almost as much as mink! 555 00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,273 Are you kidding? 556 00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:07,320 With this coat, you use mink for a lining. 557 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,061 Now, go get your mommy, don't tell her what for, 558 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,106 just say I want to talk to her. 559 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,281 Don't mention the coat. 560 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,065 OK. 561 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,067 Daddy, how come you're getting Mommy so many presents lately? 562 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,721 Well, because I love her, dear. 563 00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,767 Don't you love me too? 564 00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,160 Of course I love you. 565 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,988 Then why don't you get me a coat like that? 566 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:25,294 Don't be silly. 567 00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:26,643 Eight-year-old girls don't wear sable. 568 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,079 Why not? 569 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:32,040 Our little bodies get cold too, you know! 570 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,955 You take your cold little body in the other room. 571 00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:35,261 Because I want to talk to Mommy. 572 00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,531 [whistling] 573 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:47,055 KATHY: Danny, Rusty said that you wanted to talk to me. 574 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,317 Yes, I do, darling. Sit down. 575 00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:49,710 Well, honey, I want to talk to you too. 576 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,102 No, dear. Sit over here, sweetheart. 577 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,452 Well, darling, I've got-- 578 00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:53,888 I've got to say this. 579 00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:55,672 You know, I-- I've been awfully upset about-- 580 00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:57,892 about your cashing in all those bonds, and-- and-- 581 00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,460 and buying that very expensive ring. 582 00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,897 And I'm-- I'm not sure it's the right thing to do at all, 583 00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:04,115 darling, really, I'm not! 584 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:13,386 [shrieks] Wha-- wha-- what is that? 585 00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:15,126 What do you mean, what is that? 586 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:16,867 That's a white sable coat! 587 00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,565 Wait till Bunny Halper sees you in this! 588 00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:19,783 She'll be green with envy! - Oh, Danny! 589 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:20,828 Come on, put it on! 590 00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:22,177 No, no, no, no, I couldn't! 591 00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:23,744 Put it on. What do you mean, you couldn't? 592 00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,441 Danny, have you lost your mind, diamonds and sables! 593 00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:26,616 - This is for you, sweetheart. - Oh, you're sick, Danny! 594 00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,227 You're sick! You're sick! 595 00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:29,706 It's sick for a husband to show 596 00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:31,055 how much he loves his wife? 597 00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:34,145 Oh, where has all this money come from? 598 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,713 I got it from the bank. 599 00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:40,935 I-- I closed out our account at City National. 600 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,589 You-- you closed out our account? 601 00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,286 Isn't that wonderful? 602 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:45,983 Now, you don't have to bother to go to the bank anymore. 603 00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:52,120 But Danny, that was Rusty's college fund! 604 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,732 Darling, the important thing is that you're happy. 605 00:20:55,863 --> 00:20:57,647 When you walk down the street-- 606 00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,563 dripping in diamonds, wrapped in furs-- 607 00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,913 people are going to point the finger and say, 608 00:21:03,044 --> 00:21:05,786 there goes a woman with a solid marriage. 609 00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:07,091 [DEVASTATED] A solid marriage? 610 00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:08,005 Put it on. 611 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,268 Cashing in our bonds-- 612 00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:10,269 Yes, dear. 613 00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:11,182 --closing our bank account! 614 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,575 Yes, darling. 615 00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,011 [HYSTERICALLY] I don't want your old furs, 616 00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:15,404 and I don't want your diamonds! 617 00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:19,887 I don't want anything! 618 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:23,847 [ominous music playing] 619 00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:27,851 [applause] 620 00:21:27,982 --> 00:21:29,070 Good morning, Mrs. Williams! 621 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,376 Mrs. Halper, how are you? 622 00:21:30,506 --> 00:21:31,333 Come right in. 623 00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:32,856 And what can I do for you? 624 00:21:32,987 --> 00:21:34,118 Here you are, Maurice. 625 00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:35,424 - The rings? - Yes. 626 00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:36,773 But I don't understand. 627 00:21:36,904 --> 00:21:38,253 Well, it's very simple. 628 00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,037 We're returning them. 629 00:21:40,168 --> 00:21:41,038 But why? 630 00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:43,737 We're nuts, that's why. 631 00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:45,956 We-- we just can't allow our husbands 632 00:21:46,087 --> 00:21:47,480 to spend so much money. 633 00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:49,308 Oh, but it's not that much. 634 00:21:49,438 --> 00:21:51,527 Well, maybe not to you, but we're in that bracket where 635 00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:53,050 every little 10,000 counts. 636 00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:54,704 Oh, goodness! 637 00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:56,967 But our rentals aren't that steep. 638 00:21:57,098 --> 00:21:59,230 Well, I don't care how much your rentals are-- 639 00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,494 Rentals? 640 00:22:01,624 --> 00:22:02,495 Did you say rentals? 641 00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:03,974 Yes. 642 00:22:04,105 --> 00:22:06,107 Your husbands rented these rings for the week. 643 00:22:06,237 --> 00:22:07,413 They didn't buy them? 644 00:22:07,543 --> 00:22:08,849 No. 645 00:22:08,979 --> 00:22:10,241 Of course, I hoped you'd like them well enough-- 646 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:11,895 They must've done same thing with the furs. 647 00:22:12,026 --> 00:22:13,332 Well, of course! From Lipsey! 648 00:22:13,462 --> 00:22:14,463 They-- they have that deal, where they rent 649 00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,030 the furs for the showgirls. 650 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,686 Bunny, you and I have just been taken on a long-- 651 00:22:19,816 --> 00:22:21,252 and not so merry-- ride! 652 00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:23,254 Well, what are we going to do about it? 653 00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,344 [ANGRILY] We've been passengers long enough! 654 00:22:25,474 --> 00:22:26,823 We're going to move in the driver's seat. 655 00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:27,824 Come on! 656 00:22:27,955 --> 00:22:30,697 [victorious music playing] 657 00:22:36,006 --> 00:22:39,270 When will those poor women ever realize that 658 00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,664 they cannot match wits with the intelligence 659 00:22:41,795 --> 00:22:43,362 of their superior sex? 660 00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:44,275 Or with me, either? 661 00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:45,755 [laughing] 662 00:22:45,886 --> 00:22:49,890 [laughs] Ah, I knew the diamonds and the furs 663 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:50,891 would do the trick. 664 00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:52,719 You should have seen Kathy. 665 00:22:52,849 --> 00:22:54,721 She wouldn't put that coat on at the point of a gun! 666 00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:55,635 [chuckles] 667 00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:57,419 Yeah! 668 00:22:57,550 --> 00:22:58,594 And Bun-- Bunny wouldn't even take the coat out of the box! 669 00:22:58,725 --> 00:23:00,248 She wouldn't-- I never saw-- she-- 670 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:12,826 [thud] 671 00:23:12,956 --> 00:23:14,915 What are you doing? 672 00:23:15,045 --> 00:23:17,396 Oh, darling, you know how badly 673 00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:20,790 we felt last week about your spending so much money on us? 674 00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:23,271 Well, we have good news for you. 675 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,795 We overcame that feeling! 676 00:23:25,926 --> 00:23:27,318 You over-- you over-- you over came-- 677 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:30,539 Oh, you mean, I mean, you're not gonna 678 00:23:30,670 --> 00:23:31,671 bug us to take the stuff back? 679 00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:32,715 Oh, no! 680 00:23:32,846 --> 00:23:34,325 We decided to keep everything. 681 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:37,807 But honey, Rusty's college education. 682 00:23:37,938 --> 00:23:41,768 Oh, darling, let him go work for it, the way you did. 683 00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:43,030 Come on. 684 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,599 Pardon my flying sable. 685 00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:47,643 Yeah, but I-- he-- 686 00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:50,646 [stammering] I mean-- 687 00:23:50,777 --> 00:24:00,177 [babbling incoherently] 688 00:24:00,308 --> 00:24:03,354 [music playing] 689 00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:04,704 - Hurry with the water! - I got it. 690 00:24:04,834 --> 00:24:06,227 Hurry up, honey. Here, he's fainted! 691 00:24:06,357 --> 00:24:07,663 Oh, my goodness! 692 00:24:07,794 --> 00:24:09,056 Well, for heaven's sake's, Danny, stand back! 693 00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:10,231 OK. OK, sweetheart. 694 00:24:18,718 --> 00:24:22,330 What are you some kind of nut? 695 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,463 He's the one who fainted, what are you pouring it on me for? 696 00:24:24,593 --> 00:24:26,116 You got my suit all wet! 697 00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,989 Go rent yourself a dry one, you drip! 698 00:24:31,731 --> 00:24:34,124 [zany music playing] 699 00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:41,349 [theme music playing] 48718

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